Prologue
Barington School; 1996; Graduation
"As it is our tradition, each year, we award one student from our school with a scholarship to United World Colleges. This year our choice is, I believe, no surprise. May I present the editor of Barington Gazette, head of Student's Council and the triple winner of KYC Contest, Miss Ellise Bennet. Ellise, my congratulations."
Chapter One
United World College in Brighton; 1997
Ellise was taking a shower. She has just arrived and unpacked in her lodgings. Her roommate hasn't yet come and she knew nothing about the girl she was going to live with for the next year, not even her name.
Combing her hair after the shower, wrapped in a towel, Ellise quit the bathroom and went towards the living room. The apartment consisted of a bedroom and a living room. Entering the living room, Ellise looked up, only to begin screaming. In front of her, there was a young man, sitting comfortably in an armchair and reading her newspaper.
"What the hell are you doing here?"
"I might ask the same question." Came the reply.
"What? I live here!"
"And so do I!" answered he definitely enjoying the situation.
"No! There is no co-education, here! Girls with girls. You are in a wrong place."
"I might say the same. But I'll just shut up. So you are not Ellis Bennet?"
"No, I'm Ellise Bennet. Who are you?"
"William Darcy, at your service."
"Then get out!"
"I can't, I live here."
"So do I."
"Then it seems we live together." Said he playfully, adding: "You have a nice voice."
"Hmmmm?"
"I heard you sing under the shower."
"So you knew I was a woman?"
"Yes."
"Why haven't you warned me?"
"I thought you were aware that you are a woman." Laughed he.
"Get out of my sight! NOW!" yelled Ellise.
"As far as I know, we share everything that is in this apartment. I intend to sit here. If you don't want to see me, go to the bedroom or leave the place."
"I'm going to let the student co-ordinator know about it, right now!"
"Fine go. But it's futile."
"Why?"
"He is on holiday until Monday. If I'm correct, today we have Friday evening."
Ellise sent his an angry look and left the room. It seemed they had to spend a night together.
Chapter Two
Ellise Bennet was always the best at school. Everything came her with ease and she deeply believed that it all belonged to her and that she deserved it all just because she was Ellise Bennet.
Ellise was a very talented young lady whose greatest sorrow was the fact that she wasn't popular among her fellow-students. She smiled and tried to be nice but in vain. Her company did not suit the people she wanted to stick with and the people who wanted her company, were not interesting for her. Every time she began a new school or met new people she hoped it would change but it never did. Finally, she decided that it was her fault but she didn't know what was wrong with her.
Coming to Brighton was her last chance and it has already started badly, thought she. Will Darcy interrupted her reverie:
"Ellise, since we are all alone here, and there is hardly anyone on the campus, maybe we could go and have dinner together?"
"No, thank you." Replied she dryly. He shrugged and went out of the room. The moment Ellise refused, she began to regret it. She ran after him. He was about to leave but seeing her coming in, he looked at her quizzically. "You've changed your mind?"
"No!" answered she angrily, "I just wanted to tell you not to make noise when you come back. I have to get a goodnight sleep."
"Fine." Replied he and already in the corridor burst out laughing.
Ellise, however, was crying. She screwed it again. Had Will seen her at that moment, he would have regretted, he laughed. She looked like a bitten dog, which saw no hope in front of it. "Why am I so stupid?" cried she.
Will returned around ten. Ellise had already dried her tears and was reading "The House of Spirits". He came into the room and began to prepare for the night, making his bed.
"Do you think, you will sleep here?" asked she
"Yes."
"No way. You can go to the living room."
"You must be joking!" replied he, taking his T-shirt off. Ellise jumped out of the bed. She took the pillow and the blanket. Still holding her book in one hand, she marched out the room. She couldn't see the grin on Will's face. Instead, some five minutes later, she heard him take the shower.
When she was about to turn the light off, Will appeared in his boxers, carrying his pillow and blanket.
"What exactly are you doing?" asked Ellise
"I cannot sleep in a comfortable bed knowing you are here."
"So you decided to join me?" asked she in a doubtful tone.
"Yes."
"You must be mad!"
"Think what you want. Good night."
"O.K William Darcy. I'm going back. Satisfied?"
He did not answer, pretending to sleep. She gathered her things and ostentatiously walked out of the room.
Crushing this wall around Ellise Bennet is going to be my new sport. thought Darcy smiling to himself.
At that moment, Ellise came in:
"Are you going to sleep here?"
"Yes. You didn't let me sleep in my bed."
"Do you have to make it so hard?"
"Me? Hard?"
"Yes. You know what I want to say." Of course he knew but he wasn't going to make it any easier for her.
"No." replied he innocently.
"I…I…"
"Yes?"
"I'm sorry. Come to the room." Said she almost whispering.
"Can't hear you!"
"Come to bed." Yelled she and ran away.
He got up and went into the bedroom. Ellise was lying with her face towards the wall. He was about to lie down in his bed when an idea flashed through his mind. He sat on Ellise's bed and "prepared" to lie down.
"What are you doing?"
"Coming to bed."
"Not mine!"
"You said: Come to bed. That usually suggests…"
"Shut up and…"
"O.K. I'm going." Replied he laughing and thought: I wish she were really inviting me to her bed. But the boy can't have everything."
Chapter Three
When Will woke up, Ellise wasn't in her bed. "Where could she be at 7 am?" thought he. At that moment, he heard a strange noise coming from the living room. He got up and went to see what happened. Ellise was standing next to the door, desperately clutching on the knob. Her eyes were closed. She looked as if she came back from jogging.
"Ellise, are you all right?"
She opened her eyes and tried to walk but she felt dizzy.
"Come, Elle, sit down." He looked really worried. "Is it the first time it happened?"
"You're not my doctor."
"No, but your roommate. Now, tell me!"
She was silent.
"You don't want to talk, fine. But I bet I know the reason."
Ellise felt too weak to reply.
"When have you eaten for the last time?"
"Tell me!" Demanded he.
"Yesterday, at home."
"I told you I knew the reason. You're dizzy because your stomach is empty. There is a Dunkin Donuts just around the corner, we're going." He left her in order to put his trousers and jumper on. Returning to the room and seeing how pale she was, he decided:
"You stay here and I'll fetch the breakfast. Just don't move!"
She nodded slightly. Although, he was afraid to leave her like that he had to. Ten minutes later, he was back carrying two big cappuccinos and a box full of cakes.
"Elle, I'm back." Called he entering. She was sitting in the same place where he left her.
"And now, we are going to eat. Take this big muffin and eat it all." Ordered he.
"I don't want to."
"Be a good girl and eat." She hasn't made a move. He took the cake from the box and touching her lips with it said:
"This one is for mummy." She bit a piece. If I was feeding Caroline Bingley and she would make this show, I would walk out of the door. thought Will. Caroline was well,… she claimed she was his girlfriend but he definitely wasn't her boyfriend. All in all he told her that if he's going to get a place in United Collages, the relation would be over. He did get a place.
"That's a good girl." Repeated he, seeing her biting another piece, "And now for daddy." She bit once more and smiled. Well, if any other girl of his acquaintance made such a grimace, he wouldn't call it a smile but with Ellise… it definitely was a smile. She took the muffin from his hands and stared eating greedily. When she swallowed the last piece, he handed her the coffee and then opened the box again.
"You need more sugar. Take the pink one. It looks awful but tastes like a home made pudding." She obeyed. He sat on the floor and began to eat his donut.
"Feeling better, Elle?"
"Don't call me ELLE!"
"Why? It's nice."
"Stop or I start calling you IL. I warn you!"
He laughed. She had a sense of humour. That was at least some start.
Around mid-day, Ellise approached Darcy:
"Thanks for the help this morning. Here is the money for the breakfast."
"I don't want it."
"Take it!"
"No!"
"I insist."
"If you want to pay me back, you can pay for my dinner today."
She considered for a while:
"It's a deal."
Chapter 4
With Saturday came new students. Ellise and Will were eating dinner in the student's cantine, when two people approached them.
"May we join you?" asked the young man.
"Sure." Called Darcy. "I'm Will Darcy and this is my… This is Ellise Bennet."
"Hi! I'm Rich Fitzwilliam and this is Jane Long. We know each other from childhood times."
"How nice?" replied Ellise, trying to smile.
Jane returned the smile and when they sat down, Jane started talking to her.
"Are you the Ellise Bennet? From Barington?"
"Yes, I'm afraid I am."
"Why afraid! I often read the Barington Gazette. Your editors were great. You see I was writing for my school but I could never reach your perfection. Where do you live?"
"In Block C."
"Me, too! Which room?"
"318."
"Can't believe it! I'm in 319. We are neighbours! I'm going to have a roommate which is fine, but Rich is the lucky one. He's a place on his own."
"He lives outside the campus?"
"No, also in C but he's in the room on his own. You know, not enough guys. Have you met your roomate?"
"Yes…."
"Who is she?"
"Well, you can judge for yourself. He is sitting opposite to you."
"You live with Will! So you are married! How nice! Rich…"
"We are not married. Someone in AD thought I was a man." Replied Ellise dryly.
"Rich, have you heard? The AD people f***ed something and Ellise and Will share a room!" and then to Ellise she added, "I wouldn't mind sharing a room with R..." she checked herself.
When Jane was addressing Ellise, Rich started singing: "Some guys have all the luck…"
Darcy shot him an angry look but had to admit it. Ellise was appealing and if only she was a little more at ease, she would be the most stunning creature at Brighton College.
Jane took Ellise with her and the boys decided to 'relax' in the nearby pub.
Rich, in which room do you live?" asked Darcy
"336. I have it all on my own!"
"Man, you've just made my day. Can I move in?"
"Don't you have your own room?" asked Rich innocently.
"Very funny. You know very well. Room 318, remember?"
"Oh, yes, quite forgot!" replied he laughing, "Sure move in. What about Ellise?"
"She'll be happy to get rid of me."
"Why?"
"We are incompatible."
"I have a different opinion on the matter." Ventured Rich.
"Better shut up and help me move." Replied Will but he knew well that Rich was right. Knowing Ellise for two days, he was sure they would make a great team in…well,...in everything.
Chapter 5
Two Months Later
"Ellise!" called Jane running into room 318.
"What's happened?" called Ellise.
"You're not going to believe what I've just found!"
"What?"
"Let's move the bookshelf. Behind it, there is a door to my room. Do you know what it means?"
Ellise stared at her.
"It means that you, Charlotte and I are going to have a four room apartment with two bathrooms. Each of us is going to have a common living room. Isn't it great? Think about the parties we'll throw!" exclaimed Jane.
"Parties?"
"Yes. We will have to move the furniture. Your living room will be your bedroom. I'll move into your bedroom and Charlotte will take our bedroom. Our living room will be common. I'll call Rich and Will to help us."
At that moment, Charlotte Lucas, Jane's roommate, came in:
"Have you told her, Jane? Isn't it fantastic?"
"Sure." Checked herself Ellise, silently commanding I'm supposed to be nice.
"O.K girls, let's do it." Called Charlotte who was hardly pretty but the smile she always wore gave her a touch of ease which Ellise lacked even though she could easily be considered pretty. For the last two months at least four boys were trying to take Ellise for a date, but she either realised it too late, or was too picky to go out with any of them like in the case of Bill Collins.
"I'm going to call the boys and you two, clear the shelves." Called Jane as she was leaving.
Three hours later, everything was rearranged. Furniture from both living rooms now stood in one. Rich organised one more bookshelf for Ellise and now, they all sat down proud of the outcome.
"All right, girls! When do we open this place?" asked Rich
"How about next Saturday? Called Charlotte.
"Open?" asked Ellise
"Sure, Elle. You know a party. Everyone together. By the way, who organises drinks?"
"Rich's the master." Answered Jane enthusiastically.
"Who can cook?" replied Rich to that.
"I."
"I."
Called Ellise and Will unanimously.
"Great. Discuss the menu between yourselves. Charlotte and I organise decorations and guest. We're going to p a r t y!!!
Wednesday Evening; Two Days Later
"Elle, come to the cinema with us." Called Will putting his head into Ellise's bedroom.
"I can't."
"Why, on Earth?"
"I have to study."
"Study! What are you studying?"
"History."
"History? There isn't even a history class in this semester!"
"That's why."
"You mean you study for something that hasn't yet taken place! Are you nuts? Come to the cinema! They are showing the "Titanic". Everyone loves it!"
"I don't. I hate romances."
"Nonsense! Every girl likes them, and I bet deep in your heart and under your pillow you like them and read them. Come, now, come."
"No!"
"We won't go without you. If you don't go, you'll spoil us the evening. The choice is yours."
Ellise looked at him angrily.
"O.K Il, you won. I'll go. Give me five minutes."
"Even ten, dear." Replied he grinning.
"And don't call me d e a r !!!" shouted she.
They were sitting at Yummy Burgers. Jane and Charlotte were pining for DiCaprio and could not cease talking about the film. Ellise was silent.
"What do you think, about it, Elle?" asked Will finally.
"The special effects were great."
"And that's all? Common, I don't believe."
Ellise shrugged.
"I'm sure there was at least one romantic scene you liked." Called Jane.
"No." came the reply. Never ever would Ellise admit that she had tears in her eyes when DiCaprio died. William who knew she cried, as he was sitting next to her, kept the knowledge to himself, just like everything that concerned this shy, stubborn, unsure girl, he nicknamed Elle.
"Come Ellise, if you didn't like the "Titanic" what's your favourite movie then?" asked Rich.
"The Godfather."
"Uhhhh, don Corleone. Pacino was great there."
"I preferred Duvall but Pacino was a something too." Replied Ellise enthusiastically. "The baptism scene when all his enemies are wiped out of existence. Coppola made great movie. Have you read the book, Rich?"
Will was surprised. So Elle Bennet knew how to be cheerful. But it was only then when she enjoyed the topic and was sure of what she was saying. Will kept listening to her animated conversation with Rich. Ellise was red from emotions and she was smiling beautifully. I was right saying that she needs some ease to be a fantastic creature. She must start believing in herself. thought he.
Charlotte who was tired and wanted to go home interrupted the conversation. In fact, there was someone in the house waiting for her. Saying good night to the girls, Will told Ellise:
"Tomorrow, we are going shopping."
"Shopping?"
"We are cooking, remember?"
"But there is no kitchen."
"I'll get one for us. We'll go to the supermarket tomorrow after math class. Sweet dreams girls!"
"Thanks and same to you." Called Jane.
Chapter 6
"First the test." Called Jack Leech, their maths teacher as he came to the classroom on Monday. "Each of you will receive a paper with eight questions."
When Ellise got her paper, she panicked, she didn't know how to solve half of it. She looked at Will Darcy. He was busy completing the sheet. He can't beat me. was Ellise's first thought but she soon started laughing at herself. How am I to beat the best man in maths of all the school.. She looked at the derivative:
(dx/dy){(3x+5)*y}
"I'll move the problems." Whispered she: What's the probability of scoring a six in LOTTO? "God, help me." Muttered she.
The lesson ended and the sheets were handed back. Ellise was devastated. It was the first time she screwed a test. She walked out of the class paying no attention to the rest of the world. Halfway downstairs, Will Darcy caught up with her.
"How did it go?"
Seeing tears in her eyes, tears that could roll down her cheeks at any moment, he continued:
"It was bloody difficult." She only nodded.
"The derivative and probability! He's never done such problems with us."
"Will, stop pretending! I know you did everything. Math was never really my subject."
"If you need any help, come to me." She was silent. Will decided to change his approach, "Elle, I know you want me to be frank with you. O.K I did all questions, so what? You beat me and all the rest in English Literature and Government. You can't be best in everything. Please, understand I want to help you…"
"No, thanks."
"Fine, but let me tell you something. I've seen your editors, Jane showed me. They are great. You won't be a mathematician but you'll be a great journalist…"
"And what else? Great journalist! Stop trifling with me. I know I'm far from good, I'm mediocre, maybe."
"Elle, stop saying things you don't believe in. It's you who is trifling with me."
"Good day, Mr Darcy."
What happened to the girl that she behaves in such a way. What makes her sensitive. thought he.
"Elle, wait! We must go shopping." Remembered he.
"I don't care."
"Now, come, come. I'm sorry. I need your help in the kitchen."
She looked at him and simply said: "O.K"
Chapter Seven
"So what do we prepare for the party?" asked Will
"I was thinking about dipping sauces."
"That's a good idea!" exclaimed he enthusiastically.
"O.K, O.K. You don't have to be so explicit in showing you don't like the idea."
"What? I don't know how it is with you. But when I say I like something, I really do. You have this plot history of the world that everyone is against you. No one is! You are your greatest enemy. What's wrong with you?"
She shrugged. He couldn't understand her, then fine. She is not going to tell him. He should guess for himself. And then, she heard:
"O.K. I'm sorry. I had no right to yell at you. I'm sorry. The dipping sauces are really good. We could have radishes, cucumbers, toasts to dip in. What do you think?"
"Why not?"
She can be awful. thought he but instead said:
"I've just remembered a joke I heard today. Have you heard about the Bear and the Hare?"
She shook her head:
"O.K. So the Bear and the Hare were summoned to the army. The Bear was called out first. After a couple of minutes, he returned. "And?" asks the Hare. "I'm in the construction section." Replies the Bear proudly. "Great! You know, we are from the same forest, we could be in the army together too. Tell me what you said and I'll say the same." "O.K" says the Bear "First the Captain showed me a machine gun and asked if I knew what it was. I said I had no idea. Then he showed me a mine and I said I didn't know what it was. At last he showed me a brick. So I said it was a brick. He signed me for the construction section." The Hare goes inside. The Captain shows him a machine gun and the Hare says he doesn't know what it is. Then the mine and when the Captain reaches for the brick in the box, the Hare calls: "It's a brick, it's a brick!" and the Captain calls: "To intelligence with him." Good, isn't it?"
Ellise was laughing. "You see I know how to make you laugh." Said he. Ellise hadn't even thought to feel offended by his words. She remembered a joke.
"Will, do you know that one? Why do blondes put two glasses, one full and one empty on their night tables?"
"Don't know."
"Because they never know whether they will be thirsty or not in the morning."
They both laughed. At that moment Will looked at her and realised she was a blonde. Seeing he was gazing at her hair, she said:
"I know. I'm a blonde but these jokes are so funny that I can never stop laughing when I hear one."
There was silence for a moment and then Will ventured:
"My sources in the Canteen say that today's dinner is going to be awful. How about if we went to eat out?"
"I can't, I have to study."
"Not again! What are you going to study?"
"Math. The TIP, we received on Monday and this test…" "I have an idea. Let's go out at seven, eat something and return by nine. I'll help you with homework?"
Something was telling her to agree:
"O.K. We can go."
Chapter Eight
As the clock struck seven, Will came into "apartment 318/319".
"Jane, is Elle in her room?" asked he.
"Mhmm. I'll call her."
"Thanks. Jane, before you do, can I have a word with you?"
"Sure, what's up?"
"It's about Ellise. I…I don't know how to say it but…."
"She acts sort of strange?"
"Yes, to tell the truth. What do you think?"
"I'm no psychologist but…" she looked for words "she is scared…" said she finally.
"Scared?"
"Yes. She constantly analysis what other people think about her."
"But she cannot know it."
"Yes, but nonetheless she does think about it. She never speaks about herself, her family or her feelings. Charlotte and I, we've already discussed our whole lives, loves and affairs but she says nothing. My diagnosis is, someone hurt her very much in the past and she doesn't know how to trust. When we are all alone, just she and I, she opens. She is playful, she's got great sense of humour. Did you know she writes short stories? They are great. Anyway, when someone else comes in, she's like we see her every day, the Ellise we know."
"Thanks, Jane."
"No problem. Will, just don't hurt her."
"I won't. I promise." Jane walked out of the room yelling:
"Ellise, Will's here. Hurry up."
Ellise who walked out of the room wasn't the Ellise Will and Jane knew. Her eyes sparkled, underlined by a delicate make up and …she smiled.
"Kids, you look lovely together!" called Jane. Ellise blushed. "Have fun. And don't come back early." Laughed Jane letting them out.
Already downstairs, Will asked:
"Where should we go?"
"Don't know."
"How about something Indian?"
"Sounds good."
"Great. I know this little restaurant near the beach."
It was a quarter to nine when they walked out of the restaurant.
"Let's go to the beach." Suggested he.
"In November?"
"You mean you've never been to the beach in November? " She shook her head.
"Then we must go."
The sky was starry. Waves were hitting the rocks. Ellise stood staring into the unseen horizon.
"Will, can you hear the waves? It's as though each one, hitting the rocks, was completing a prayer for those who perished at sea. For every man, woman and child who died drowning in the depths of oceans or froze to death still hoping help would come. We love our lives so dearly that even in the hour of our death we hope we'll live on. Why is it that we long to live? Why do we care so much?"
She turned towards him. While she was speaking, he approached her and unnoticed stood behind her. When she turned, they were centimetres away from each other. They stood looking in one another's eyes. The kiss was hanging in the air but none of them made a move. Suddenly, the church bell struck nine o'clock. The spell was broken, the moment was gone.
Author's Note: This chapter is dedicated to Alice and Emmy who had come up with these great ideas about how to get them closer. Thanks. Joanna
Chapter Nine
"Will, it's nine. We should be going back." Said she.
"Don't you want to take a walk?" there was no reply. "Okay, we're going back. I promised to help you with math, didn't I?" continued he, trying to conceal the change in his voice.
Saturday Morning
Ellise was busy cutting cucumbers. Will was standing next to her, mixing the last sauce. She was serene. In fact, she had been so for the past three days. After they returned from the beach, she was in a poor mood. Nothing could cheer her up.
"Elle!" called he. As she turned towards him, he tapped her nose with a finger covered with the sauce.
"Will! What are you doing?"
"Returning you to life!" said he drawing a white stripe on her cheek and silently wondering how she would taste in dill sauce and at the same moment feeling guilty even for thinking about it.
"Stop!"
"And what if I won't." called he while putting sauce on her other cheek.
"You are going to pay for that!" called she. He turned as to run away while she took a cutting board and hit him in his butt.
"Auuuuuuuuuu" yelled he laughing and started to run away while she was following him. If someone had seen them at that moment, he would not stop laughing. A small, blond girl with her face in creamy, dill sauce, with a cutting board in her hand was running after a young man, six foot two tall, who was dying laughing every time he turned back to see if his persecutor was still after him. They were in the corner of the room when Darcy, looking behind himself lost balance. He tried to grab the table in order not to fall down but in vain. To tell the truth it only worsened his situation. Falling down, he cut his hand. In seconds his whole hand was in blood.
"Oh, my God! Will, I'm so sorry!" called Ellise.
"It's okay. It was my fault."
"No, no, it was mine!"
"Elle, it doesn't matter. I think we'd better find a doctor."
In the hospital nearby, the doctor put six stitches on Will's hand.
"Nurse Hill is going to make an injection, now." Said he, finishing.
When the nurse came to Will, his face was getting paler and paler. He kept staring at Ellise in order not to think about the injection. It helped. When the nurse finished, Ellise took Will's hand and slowly walked him out of the room. They were attempting to go downstairs when Will murmured:
"I think I'm going to faint." He turned green and in the last moment Ellise managed to sit him on the stairs.
"Nurse!" called she
In seconds Hill and the doctor appeared
"What's wrong?"
"Don't know. He just fainted."
"Okay. Let's take him back."
They put Will on a bed with legs higher than the head.
"Don't worry. It happens." Consoled her the doctor before leaving. "I'll come back in a few minutes."
Ellise sat down by Will. She took his hand in hers:
"Will, I'm so sorry. It was my fault. You are my best friend and I caused it all." Repeated she caressing his hair, cheeks and chest and sobbing silently.
Suddenly she heard:
"It's okay, Elle. I'm fine. Nothing happened."
"Oh, Will! I was so worried."
"I know, but it's fine, now." Seeing tears rolling down her cheeks, he pulled her towards himself. "Shhhhh, Elle. Don't cry. Nothing happened."
She was lying on his chest and he murmured comforting words.
"Who needs a sedative, here?" called playfully the doctor who came in at that moment.
Ellise and Will laughed. "None, I believe." Replied Darcy.
"Good. Are you feeling better, young man?"
"Yes. I forgot to tell you that I get an aftershock from injections. I'm allergic to needles."
"The big boy is allergic to needles! Admit it, you were ashamed to be so weak in front of your girlfriend." Teased the doctor.
Will blushed and laughed. Meanwhile Ellise was thinking. He didn't deny it. So I am. But that he never said anything. Why does it always happen to me? Let's think about it. Okay, we spend a lot of time together. I feel good in his company but does it mean… How am I to know? They were leaving the hospital and she still hadn't found the answer to her questions.
Author's Note: Davidia, this one is for you as a small consideration for your enormous help with this chapter. It is also to you all who read and comment my stories as well as suggest how the plot should go. You know who you are. Joanna
Chapter Ten
Saturday Evening
The party was getting wild. Rich was a bartender and the guests looked as if he tended them all at least twice already.
Ellise was sitting, eating cucumbers. They tasted strange and had too much water but… well, they were addictive. She couldn't have known that someone spilled 100ml of vodka on them. She still felt guilty about Will, although he was trying to convince her that nothing happened and somehow when she was thinking about the morning now, she wanted to laugh. Suddenly, she heard:
"May I join you?" It was Will.
"Sure."
"These look good." Said he pointing at the cucumbers.
"They are. Help yourself." He tasted one and said:
"Elle, how many have you eaten?"
"Don't know." Said she giggling, "seven or eight."
"Elle, I think you had enough."
"You're not my father."
"No, but I'm your friend. You shouldn't eat them."
"Why, they are good!" exclaimed she putting a cucumber into his mouth. He tried not to eat it but she was persistent. At that moment, Rich put "All for love" on and Ellise demanded:
"Dance with me, Will!" Seeing she was drunk, he was rather reluctant:
"Elle, maybe we should go downstairs and get you some coffee?"
"No! I want to dance!"
Pulling him out of the armchair, she almost lost her balance but he caught her and held. She placed her head on his chest. Wrapping her hands around his neck, she drew closer to him. What the hell, thought he, if she doesn't mind. He held her tight. The smell of her hair intoxicated him. It was sweet and… flowerish. I wouldn't mind if this moment lasted forever, thought he and then realised, you're stupid Will Darcy! It's because she's drunk. Sober, she doesn't care.
They danced on for the next two slow songs. Suddenly, Ellise said:
"I need a drink. Could you get me some wine?"
There was no point in quarrelling with her, so returning her to the armchair, he simply nodded and went over to Rich.
"Rich, one scotch and white wine. The wine really light. 90% water."
"Who got drunk and wants some more?"
"Don't ask." Replied Will, drinking his scotch in one swallow.
"This was rhetorical. I saw you and Ellise." Said Rich, winking at Darcy.
"No comment and give me another scotch." Was the reply.
"You'll make a good politician." Laughed Rich, handing Darcy the drinks.
Ellise drank her "wine" greedly. At that moment they heard the first tracts of "It takes two" coming from the CD. Ellise jumped to her feet.
"Common, Will! Let's dance." She pushed him into the crowd. Within seconds, everyone could hear his own Tina Turner:
One can have a dream, baby
"Sing, Will! I know you have a great voice." She continued singing:
One can talk about being in love
She encouraged Will again, this time successfully:
Two can see how it really feels
One can worship all the stars
Two can make a wish come true
By the time they got to It takes two, babe, no one was dancing. Everyone applauded the duo's performance:
One can have a broken heart, living in misery
Two can really ease the pain, like a perfect remedy
One can be alone in a bar, like an island beaver alone
Two can make that any place seem like being at home.
They danced on, pretending they were Turner and Stewart:
One can take a walk in the moonlight
Thinking it is really nice
But two lovers walking hand in hand,
It's like adding just a pinch of spice.
It takes two, babe
It takes two, babe
Just me and you
You know it takes two
Enormously applauded, Ellise and Will returned to the sofa.
"Will, I'm so sleepy." Said Ellise after a while, placing her head under Will's arm.
"I know. I'll put you to bed."
"No, I don't want to."
"I don't care what you want." Holding her firmly, he dragged her into her bedroom. Before she knew she was in bed and saying:
"Do I get a kiss?"
"Elle, you're drunk. You're not thinking straight."
"I don't care. Kiss me goodnight."
He looked at her and kissed her forehead.
"That's not what I was thinking about. But then a girl can't have everything." Muttered she and fell asleep.
"Ell!" murmured Will sitting in the armchair to watch her sleep.
Chapter Eleven
Will sneaked out of Ellise's room in the wee hours of the morning, after falling asleep in the armchair. When Ellise woke up, the sun was high in the sky and… she had an enormous headache. She couldn't remember how she found herself in bed but the reminiscences of yesterday were slowly coming back to her. She remembered the cucumbers and oh my God! The dance with Will, the song! What have I done? I made an idiot of myself. Not again! How could I let my emotions run wild? I made a show of myself in front of everyone, in front of Will. He'll think I'm crazy and that I can't control myself. He's never going to ask me out again, not to mention anything else. He won't even speak to me. God, I made an idiot of him too! Dragging him to the dance-floor. Never had it entered Ellise's mind that if Will didn't want to do what she asked him she would simply refuse. It was beyond her ability to comprehend that in fact he might be interested in her. She was beginning to realise that she was attracted to him but at the same time she was sure she couldn't appeal to anyone. All she knew was that he didn't kiss her on the beach and that she made idiots of both of them. Now, she was sure, he would never talk to her again.
Meanwhile, Will woke Rich up:
"I need to talk to you."
"Not, now! I went to bed at 4 a.m." replied Rich turning in bed with his back on Will.
"Rich, it's important." There was no answer. "Rich, who talked with you when Maddy O'Brien turned you down? Who was feeding you with a teaspoon when Jane revenged for the affair with Maddy? Who?!"
"Okay, Darcy! What is it?"
"It's Ellise."
"What about her? Did she say "no"?"
"No."
"So what's the problem?"
"I don't know."
"Will…"
"Wait. Okay! I admit I'm attracted to her. More, I think she means to me something more than a friend. I have feelings for her which,…which… I don't know. What if she says "no"?"
"What do you mean? Will, you're strange. The girl sticks to you like pastry!"
"She was drunk!"
"Drunk people are always truthful."
"Okay, but I'm afraid to hurt her. If I ask her and she says "no", the friendship will be gone. I don't want it. Now, if I don't ask, and she wants it, just as I do, but we'll go on like that, but it's not enough, but if she's against, my asking will ruin everything and…"
"Will, you're not making any sense!"
"I know but what am I to do?"
"Ask her. You'll never know until you'll ask her!"
"And if she says "no"?"
"Well, then s*** happens. You'll have to live with it."
"I don't think I'll be able."
"Man, you're in love with that girl. Run to her and tell her you love her. That's my advice!"
"I can't."
"Why on Earth?"
"And if she wants it to be the way it is?"
"Then fine. You'll live with it."
"But, I…"
"Will, shut up! Go to Ellise or to bed! Think it over. Start making sense! Good night!" Rich covered his head with the pillow and stopped reacting to Will's questions.
Will left the room deep in his thoughts: To ask or not to ask that was his question.
Chapter Twelve
Sunday is often characterised with words like headache, hangover, nervous breakdown or "what the hell am I to do right now?"
For Ellise, this Sunday could be characterised with all those expressions. Having dressed up and drunk coffee, she set out for a walk. It was already four when her legs led her to the beach. Having sat on a bench, she tried to rethink her relations with Will. The only sensible or rather insensible thought she had was: I want but I'm too afraid. Staring into the starry sky, she was looking for an answer there. But it didn't come.
"Elle?"
"Will!" called she startled.
"Hi! I didn't know you were here. May I sit down?"
"Sure. It's a lovely view, isn't it?' asked she
"Yes. The night is clear." There was silence.
"William, I want to apologise."
"What for?"
"For yesterday evening. I was drunk…"
"Elle, it doesn't matter. In fact, you have to admit we had fun, you were great!"
"Don't say that!"
"But we did and you were. The song and dances! That was what I call partying."
"Are you making fun of me?"
"Never, Elle, it was the best party I've been to. And it was because of you." Added he tenderly.
It seemed she hadn't heard it.
"I made such a fool of myself. I should have learnt the first time, never ever to drink!"
"Elle, these things happen."
"But I should've learnt, Will. I was 15 when I went to France to a summer school. I was drinking beer in the bar one evening with plenty of other people. I drank too much. I don't know how many, seven or eight. I lost the track. The next day I woke up on the beach. I remembered nothing. They told me I was dancing on tables and singing. That I almost stripped…" her voice trailed off.
Will put his arm around her.
"Shhhh, Elle. Nothing happened. France belongs to the past. Forget it. I assure you, you did not make an idiot of yourself, yesterday."
"That's not all. I had a boyfriend, well a boy friend. After that night in France, he never wanted to speak to me again…"
"Then he was a jerk. Elle, you were great yesterday, you were fun, but you were not making a fool of yourself, I wouldn't let you." He wanted to kiss her and say he wanted to be with her but it seemed to be the wrong time. She'll think I'm doing it to console her and that I'm not sincere. We have time, all the time in the Universe, He could not have been more wrong. Ellise wrapped in Will's arms felt safe. If only it could last forever…
Chapter Thirteen
After Christmas Break
Maddy O'Brien caught up with Ellise when she got out of the taxi in front of Block C.
"Oh, Ellise. How was Christmas?"
"Good." Replied Ellise automatically, absolutely surprised by the fact that Maddy O'Brien noticed her.
"It's a pity your boyfriend doesn't come back."
"Who?"
"Your boyfriend, Will Darcy."
"He's not coming back?"
"Don't tell me you don't know. He didn't tell you!" Seeing Ellise's surprised face she continued:
"Oh, I'm sorry, you broke up? Have to run. Bye, Ellise."
Ellise was shocked. She ran upstairs. Hopefully, Jane had already come from home.
"Jane, is it true that Will's not coming back?"
"You know?… Yes, it's true."
"What happened?"
"His mother is gravely ill. Rheumatism, I guess. He went with her and his sister to Ischia."
Never has Ellise felt so sad.
"He didn't tell you?" asked Jane
"No."
"He probably didn't have time. It was so sudden. I know because he told Rich."
When she and Will got back from the beach, Ellise thought that something had changed in their relations. They got closer to each other and Ellise was beginning to think it was something more than just friendship. Will said nothing but they often went out for walks and studied together even more than earlier. Then came Christmas break. She still remembered how they all planned to go skiing and then how she walked Will to the station. He was in the train's window and she was standing on the platform. None of them said a word, they only looked at each other. And then, coming back to school, she suddenly learnt it was unlikely that she could ever see him again.
Three days later, a letter came.
Dear Elle,I should have told you I wasn't coming back personally, but every time I picked the phone up and dialled your number, I realised that I wouldn't know what to say to you. I thought that i would be unable to control my voice and tell you that I was not to come back. It is therefore why I write this letter. I'm at Heathrow right now. I fly with my mother and little sister to Italy. Mum is quite ill and she has to stay in warmer and less rainy countries. I learnt all about it when I came back home for Christmas. I had no idea about the departure back in Brighton.
I will be continuing school in Italy, but primarily I have to take care of Georgie, my 12 year-old sister who is very scared with the idea that she will have to go to school in a new place. Mum needs a lot of rest so Georgie'll become "my" daughter for the time of our stay in Ischia. I don't think I will come back to Brighton, because Mum's condition is rather poor. I dread the worst and pray it won't come.
I will write to you when I settle in the new place. I enclose the address with hope that you will write me.
Yours,
Will Darcy
"I've lost my best friend here. The only person who really cared about me." She sat down to write the answer.
Dear Will,I am very concerned about your Mum. I still remember when my father had a car accident and lay unconscious in the hospital for three months. We were slowly losing hope but he managed and returned to life. I hope that your Mum will be cured.
Here everything is as it was. I think I'll go skiing with Jane, Rich and Charlotte. You are not going to guess who is coming as well! Bill Collins! Jane has just told me that he's Charlotte's boyfriend and that it's already an old news. Did you know about it?
It must be hard for you to be a "father" to Georgie. But if…
She wanted to write: "but if she is half that sweet as you are, she is an angel" but she changed her mind.
But if she is a girl she must be an angel. Little girls are always so.I hope to hear from you, soon.
Take good care of yourself,
Ellise "Elle" Bennet
Weeks went by and Ellise was hoping to get letters from Will every day. He replied always within two weeks and she lived from one letter to the other. In March, she went skiing.
Dear Will,I've put skis one my legs for the first time in my life, today. At the beginning I didn't want to learn, but on the second day I thought what the hell. Jane, Rich and Charlotte, they all ski well. Bill Collins is rather pathetic. He's taking lessons in a Skischule. You know how he looks but he has this winter outfit in sky blue and an enormous orange bonnet. He can barely control his legs and keep the balance, so he meets the snow every ten metres. I take lessons on another slope. I don't want Bill or anyone else to see me before I'll stop having rendez-vous with snow. I admit that I fell down very often but the last two "downhills" were clear. I am proud of myself. We are to stay here for six more days, so I hope I'll learn.
I'm glad to hear that Georgie has new friends. She is young so she learns foreign languages quickly as well as accommodates in new circumstances. You write she tends to be sad now and then. I would say it's because of your Mum's condition. Children are always worried when something in the family is wrong. They never say it, but it bothers them. Try to talk to her and comfort her. Say that she has nothing to worry about because Mum is in good hands.
I have to be going. Jane's calling me and I want to post this letter today.
Yours,
Elle
P.S. You never write about yourself. How you manage to cope with everything? Elizabeth.
Months went by. The first year was gone and in the summer Ellise was supposed to work for her father. With September, she came back to Brighton and as ever studied hard to score well at the baccalaureate. It was in May 1998 that she received a card from Rome, signed by Will. It said nothing but: Warm greetings from Rome, Will It was the last time, she received any news from him.
Chapter Fourteen
Jane's Flat In London; Four Years Later
Jane and Ellise were sitting in Jane's bedroom, chatting. There was bottle of white wine between them and they had been sipping the contents for the last four hours. Jane who was preparing for her wedding with Rich Fitzwilliam, asked Ellise to come visit her "for the last time" as she called it, as she believed things were going to change after she became Mrs Richard Fitzwilliam.
"I'm so in love with Rich." Said Jane out of the sudden.
"It is visible, dear. You talk about nothing but your wedding and how great Rich is, although I'm the last person whom you should convince about it."
"I know, Ellise but I'm so enormously happy! When will I be invited to your wedding?"
Ellise laughed: "I don't think I will ever find the love of my life." She stared into the floor.
"I don't believe you Ellise. You finished Oxford. I know you were the queen of your year. Guys were getting nuts when you walked by!"
"It means nothing. I just can't marry anyone. I must know it's the right person."
"And how does this perfect male creature of yours look, if one may ask?"
"He must be intelligent, funny, caring, forgiving. And if he were 180 centimetres tall and dark hair, he would be perfect." Replied Ellise laughing but the laugh wasn't sincere. Jane looked at her without saying anything.
"Don't look at me that way. I know what you think but I can't help it. It's simply that way."
"Ellise, you must forget. It's four or five years now, you have to forget and live on."
"It's not so easy." Jane looked at her critically.
"Jane, I sometimes think that if I kissed him that evening on the beach, everything might have worked out differently. Maybe, he would not have married that girl. Maybe, if I went to Italy that first summer it would be different but it's not."
There was silence.
"You know, Jane, there is only one thing in my life that I really regret. It's that I didn't kiss him that evening. Can you imagine that my whole life could have turned differently?"
"Ellise, stop thinking that way. It makes no sense and gives you pain. I think he did love you, he told Rich that you were very important to him but he made the choice. He married that girl. He isn't in contact with any of us. We don't really know what happened but you must throw him out of his mind. For your own good!"
"I know, Jane but it's too difficult. I realised I loved him when he was gone and there seems to be no way out for me, now."
"Ellise, there is! Live your own life. You're a great journalist. I bet you'll be the youngest ever journalist who'll make it to the cover on TIME or PEOPLE. Just live on and forget him."
Ellise was silent. Considering everything for a while, she said:
"You are right, Jane. I have to live on, no matter what my feelings are. Life is too short to screw it. Thank you, Jane I'll try. Good night."
"Good night, Ellise. Sleep well, we have a busy day in front of us tomorrow." and don't dream about Will. added Jane in her thoughts.
Chapter Fifteen
London, Docklands; Five Years Later
"Ellise, it's great to see you. Congratulations! I've read about you in TIME today. You made it to the cover at the age of 27! You're incredible. The series of articles about state of British hospitals was breathtaking!" greeted her the Chairman of BHO, when she entered the ballroom of BHO Building.
"Thank you, Henry. It's great to be here. How is your wife?"
"She's fine, somewhere in the crowd but the moment she learns you're here, she'll show up. She was dying to see you again."
"I'd love to see her again, too." Smiled Ellise.
"Before she comes, let me introduce to our new business partner. He's responsible for computers. In fact, his company implements new software at BHO. I don't think you've met him. He started when you were in Somalia. I hear it was terrible."
"Yes, terrible to see people dying. I hope to get some support from you on the project with international help for Somalia. I'm launching a series of articles…"
"You have always my support." They approached the man who was standing alone, staring into the window. "William, may I introduce Miss…" the man turned and looked at Ellise, "Ellise Bennet. Ellise, it is…"
"William Darcy." Finished Ellise.
"You know each other? Great!. Excuse me, I have to leave you for a second. Talk to you two later on." He disappeared.
"Hello Will!" managed to whisper Ellise.
"Elle…. It's been so many years…. I …I don't…"
"It's the past, Will." The moment she said it she regretted it. It sounded so ambiguous. After all those years, she finally saw him and she was suggesting something that she didn't want. He was still in her heart. She'd been trying to fight her feeling for him but without success. She still loved him, but she just suggested she didn't care.
"I mean…I mean…we…those years…they don't matter because we met now. How is your wife?"
"She died three years ago."
"Oh, I am sorry. I had no idea."
There was an awkward silence.
"Yes, Angela died while giving pre-mature birth. Our child…. Lisa… did not make it either."
"I'm so sorry. It must have been awful to…"
"Let us not speak of it. My wife was a sweet girl, who I didn't treat the way she deserved it. She just got what…. what was left after….you, Elle."
"Will, don't say that. I'm sure you were a wonderful husband. You're always so caring and forgiving."
"Do you want to take a walk on the bank of the Thames?"
"Yes."
They sneaked out of the party and walked along the river talking about the past.
"I married Angela because she was pregnant. We went to school together. I had hard times taking care of Georgie and Mum, and at one party I got drunk, and the next day I woke up in bed with Angela. She looked like you and I was attracted to her. Anyway, we got married. Two weeks later, she had a miscarriage. She was depressed. I could not leave her. In a way I loved her. We lived in Italy. She got pregnant again. The pregnancy was difficult. One night, in the seventh month, she had a haemorrhage. The doctors could not save her, the baby died two weeks later… I had neither you nor my wife or child. It was terrible…"
"Oh, Will. I don't know what to say. Every word seems wrong and forbidden…"
"Elle, I should have said this long ago. I love you. I loved you when we were in school. But I was afraid that you might say "no". No, in fact I was afraid to ask you."
"Will, why did you stop writing."
"I thought that writing to you I would be hurting you…"
"You have no idea how much it hurt when you stopped writing just like that. Why not a single good bye letter?"
"Because I knew I would not be able to say good-bye."
They walked in silence.
"Elle, I told you minutes ago that I love you. Do you think you could learn to love me too?"
She looked at him as though she was looking for words. Finally she started:
"I don't have to learn to love you, because I do love you…"
He took her in him arms and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. She returned it.
Had they been looking at the horizon, they could see fireworks exploding in thousands of colours over Greenwich.
The End