There it is done, thought I. I just had to post the latest part of "Fortune Reversed" to Pemberley and I could be a respectable citizen of Pemberley once more. No more death threats, no more people wanting to hang me, stab me, or strangle me… Darcy would be among the living again. "Perfect," I mumbled. "Now I just have to post it."

"Not so fast," called a voice behind me.

I whirled around so fast, I had a kink in my neck.

"Let me check the story before you post it," said a familiar man in a red uniform.

"Colonel Fitzwilliam, w-w-what are you doing here?" I stammered.

"Checking your handy work," said he. "I know your stories too well."

"Whatever could you mean? I like you Colonel. I would never do you harm! I am one of your loyal followers!" I protested. "I am one of the Stud Muffin cheerleaders."

"Ha! Never do me harm?! You must be joking!" he laughed. "So far I have been chased and attacked by women, sent to Bedlam, subjected to shock treatment, became a monk, and now my bride-to-be may not love me? And you call that loyalty?"

"But Colonel!" I protested.

"And what is that on your screen? A new story I see? I suppose I am to be tortured again?!" he demanded as he tried to look over my shoulder at the computer screen behind me.

"Oh no! I would never do that to you!" I exclaimed.

"I'll make sure of that," Mr. Knightley proclaimed as he suddenly materialized in front of my eyes.

I blinked and rubbed my eyes twice. In front of me still stood Mr. Knightley, looking rather, well, gorgeous. "Mr. Knightley," I gasped. "I love you beyond measure. Surely you will help me persuade the Colonel that I do not mean him any harm."

Mr. Knightley shook his head. "Don't trust this one," he said to the Colonel while pointing at me. "She loves me and even has me as one of the backgrounds to her computer, yet managed to take away my wife for a year. And you should see the horrors she is creating for the next time."

"But Mr. Knightley!" I protested. "You were very happy at the end of my last story."

"Yes, but after how much suffering? And do you know how much damage you did to Donwell Abbey?" he demanded.

"Actually, he did it!" I exclaimed while pointing to the Colonel.

"Only because you made me!" whined Colonel Fitzwilliam.

The Colonel looked anxious as he turned to Mr. Knightley. "At least you are lucky and were spared this round. I am in every story the woman writes. What horrors has she concocted for the next time?"

"Don't worry. I've taken care of that," soothed Mr. Knightley.

"Really?" he asked.

"In another life, I was a computer terrorist. Those computer problems that she's been having recently have been no accident," said Mr. Knightley with a wry grin.

"Oh no you don't!" exclaimed David, the Viscount of Wallingford, suddenly materializing between Mr. Knightley and me. "Don't worry, I'll protect you," he assured me.

"Oh really David?" Colonel Fitzwilliam said mockingly. "Do you really believe you can trust her? She may have protected you this time, but can you be assured of the lady's loyalty?"

"David! I love you!" I gasped while jumping up and clinging on to the back of his blue coat. "I have always loved you from the moment I first thought of you! I would never harm you! Please believe me!"

"Take a look at this Lord Wallingford," Mr. Knightley offered, handing him a computer print out. "After you read that, tell me if that innocent face has only good in mind for you."

As David whirled around to face me, his eyes grew wide. "I can't believe you would betray me like that!" David exclaimed upon reading Mr. Knightley's evidence.

"But it all turns out well, I promise!" I protested.

"Well for whom? Certainly not me!" David shouted.

"But I love you!" I cried.

"With admiration like yours, we hardly need detractors," said the Colonel sarcastically.

Suddenly, George Wickham appeared before me, holding the seat of his pants in one hand while shaking his fist with the other. "Look what that stupid dog Beacus did to my pants!" he shouted.

Colonel Fitzwilliam chuckled, "That was the first thing I've agreed with so far."

Wickham spun around, his eyes blazing. "Oh really Colonel Hot Pants! She has new two stories on that computer of hers and you are in BOTH OF THEM! How do you like them muffins?"

Suddenly, Colonel Fitzwilliam began twitching.

"Now look what you've done!" exclaimed Mr. Knightley. "Just when I thought he was cured. Now I have to take him back to Bedlam."

David frowned and shook his head at me.

Wickham turned around to glare at me again. "Evil knows evil and she is trouble."

I sunk back down into my chair. It was going to be a long evening.

Just then, a loud ring startled me and I quickly sat up. "Oh," I said as I rubbed my neck. I had fallen asleep at my desk and developed a kink in my neck. Disoriented, I looked around my room and realized my guests had disappeared. The phone rang again and I grabbed it. "Hello?" I groggily asked.

"Hey, what are you up to?" asked John.

"Actually, you just woke me up from a nightmare," I answered.

"Really? What was it about?"

"Some Jane Austen characters were out to get me."

"You are really obsessed."

"Tell me about it," I moaned. "Still, it was really bizarre. The whole experience was so real, I almost believe it happened."

"It's late. Go to sleep. And for once read something from this century, please? That should take care of your nightmares."

"Yes, I will. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

I hung up the phone and turned off my computer. As I rose from my desk, my eyes fell upon a few sheets of paper lying on the ground. What is this? I thought. As I bent down and picked up the papers, the hair on the back of my neck stood straight up. "Oh my God! This is a copy of my newest story 'Past Prejudices Proven'," I gasped.

It was just a nightmare, wasn't it?

Finis