Posted on 2009-12-06
Anne Elliot was Excessively Attentive to The Last Adventure that she planned. Ever since The Family Circle and her Connections had decreed that Captain Wentworth, despite making An Honourable Offer, was not a Man Of Means sufficient to marry her, she experienced Estrangement without An Endeavour Of Civility from anyone, even The Musgroves, which brought her to Tears On Christmas Eve. Although she was not prone to Caprice And Instability, When Tragedy Strikes, Changes In Families may occur, with All That This Entails. She treasured The Pendant that he gave her One Day In May. Their First Glimpse had filled her With The Greatest Of Expectations of forming The Perfect Pair with this All Too Handsome gentleman. Passion And Prudence and Love And Prejudice engaged in Seen And Unseen Duels Of Every Sort within her.
Thus, Another Day In May, with Lilacs and The Butterfly hinting at more Pleasant Days, she tired of Untimely Regrets, telling herself "No More Tears, this is A Better Course Of Action. Can There Be Any Other Opinion On The Subject?" She trusted only Three Servants, Miss Martin, Amelia Bennet, and Celia, Somebody's Natural Daughter, with The Naked Truth – the others had Loose Lips. After saying "Goodnight, Elizabeth!" to her sister, she snuck past her father While He Was Sleeping. Sir Walter And The Leprechaun slept; Anne And The Gun left.
Captain Wentworth, back from battling Pride, Prejudice, And Prussians near Burnt Bridges and discovering What REALLY Happened At Waterloo, had formed An Engaging Friendship with Kinghorn Of The Castle, a man with Healing Hands whom Not Every Gentleman near Everingham liked. The Little Particulars Of The Circumstance were that they found Nothing Wanting in singing Mixed Matches of Songs From The Heartland together. In A Perfect World, Anne would have found him quicker than you could say "Fitzwilliam Ebenezer Darcy" - instead, she had to Take Two hours.
"Will you Take A Chance On Me?" she asked him. "Or have you An Unforgiving Temper born of Pride And Education?"
"I am An Officer And An Honest Man, dearest Anne," he replied, "and I despise The Misogynist Club. You are A More Amiable Woman than any I have known, The Fairest Of Them All, and I feel Better For Loving You."
"Allow me This Piece Of Civility," Kinghorn interjected, "I must go spend Four Evenings At Netherfield, for Netherfield Park Is Let At Last." And he left with his Cousin Harry, or Harold The Horribly Hairy, eventually witnessing Darcy's Adventures Through The Looking Glass and Darcy's Rash Proposal, reading The Caroline Bingley Diaries, learning Georgiana's Tale and The Tale Of Uncle Jackrabbit Part By Part, and seeing what a Mare's Nest ensues once Darcy Changes Tactics after learning to say "Please, Elizabeth!" and fulfils A Mother's Favorite Wish and A Father's Resolution, thus preventing A Case of Catastrophe.
"Ah, Just The Two Of Us!" Frederick and Anne sighed as they watched The English Night Sky, feeling light as Stardust. Between The Night And The Morrow, A Whole New World dawned for them, but the details would be Too Much Information. It was quite a Moving Day for them, and that they were An Unfashionable Couple, and he no Mr. Popularity, mattered not to them. They discovered Great Pleasure In The Power Of Choice with Nothing To Keep Them From Their Appointed Rounds past the Mistletoe In Austen Place. Anne felt like The Girl Who Did Not Know Angst, with no Regrets And Resolutions most pleasant.The End