Kitty and Lydia :At the Meryton Assembly Ball

Posted on October 5, 2008

Mister Darcy, what a jerk!
Socializing's too much work.
Wouldn't want to crease your pants
by asking one of us to dance.

Mister Darcy, please take heed:
London manners we don't need.
Silly man won't be induced
to let himself be introduced!

Mister Darcy, stuffy man!
Silent since the night began.
Guess you think we're unrefined
but Lizzy ugly? Are you blind?

Mister Darcy, most absurd.
Bingley's style is much preferred.
Should you stay? Oh, no, no, no!
Should you stay? We both say no -->
And take Miss Bingley when you go.

At Netherfield while Jane is ill upstairs

Netherfield is awfully fine.
Living here must be divine.
Turn me round and I'd get lost.
How much did this mansion cost?

Great idea yesterday:
maybe we could come and stay.
Marry Jane, fulfil our prayers.
Pick out two big rooms upstairs.

Only problem we can see:
Bingley's sister won't agree.
Why does she have so much clout?
New wife Jane will throw her out.

Wonder when you'll marry Jane.
Four more sisters that you'll gain.
Find some room for all our stuff.
Netherfield is big enough.

Hertfordshire is such a bore.
Having fun is such a chore.
Nothing much for us to do.
Like to bid this town adieu.

Did our host just make a joke?
Did his sister start to choke?
Mister B, you're such a doll!
Can't believe you'll throw a ball!

First you need to cure the gloom.
Lock your sister in her room.
Mister Darcy looks too glum.
Does he really have to come?

At the Netherfield ball

Dance with every coat that's red.
Dance so hard we might drop dead.
Foot and ankle, one big bruise.
Should've brought our other shoes.

Wonder where that rector is.
Wants to dance with sister Liz.
How that man can talk and talk.
She can have him, lock and stock.

Mister Darcy's such a lout,
chasing Lizzy all about.
Still behaves like such a brute.
Hope she pops him in the snoot.

Mister Bingley, you're so sweet!
Sister Jane can't rest her feet.
Meeting you was opportune.
Hope to have a wedding soon.

Hate your sister; wish her dead.
Hope she trips and breaks her head.
Acts as though she's god on Earth.
Should've strangled her at birth.

Have to say we like her style.
Wish that she could crack a smile.
London clothes she likes to wear.
Maybe she could take us there.

Trip to London suits us fine.
Leave this dreary town behind.
Maids to hark our every word.
Take our tea with George the Third.

All the people we would meet.
Living on some fancy street.
Into Jane's new house we'd move.
If old Darcy will approve