There Was An Old Lady

Posted on November 17, 2008

There was an old lady who never ceased to rue,
She had so many daughters, she didn't know what to do.
"If we're all to be fed,
Then they must be wed,"
Was the only conclusion she drew.

Bingley's arrival created a hullabaloo,
His love for Jane was clear to view,
He was dragged away,
For his sisters said nay,
And his friend, "she doesn't love you."

Mr Collins was told that there was a queue,
But Mrs Bennet had absolutely no clue,
And made such a ruckus,
When he married Miss Lucas,
For she wanted to see Lizzy in that pew.

At Rosings Darcy's love grew,
He thought Lizzy must feel it too,
But instead of being swept off her feet,
All she saw was pride and conceit,
And dismissed him without further ado.

"So Wickham is still spreading that toxic brew?
For the living he accepted three thousand in lieu,
But with oaths I was repaid,
And with the help of a jade,
He injured the sweetest sister you ever knew."

Said Jane, "he might be trying to start anew,"
But Wickham remained a loose screw,
Mrs Bennet was all affright,
Lest her husband should fight,
When away with her dear Lydia he flew.

Mrs B thought Jane should sue,
Until Bingley returned to woo,
"Please don't frown,
I never knew you were in town,
That's my sisters through and through."

Lady Catherine craved an interview,
"This report has me quite blue,
It would be a disgrace,
How can you show your face?
Would you ruin my nephew?"

Lady Catherine's boo-boo
Was to demand her due,
"For I'm not a dope,
And it taught me to hope,"
Darcy told his love true.