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Posted on Tuesday, 8 April 2008
Finally, the orchestra signalled its readiness for the dancing to commence. Couples quickly paired off and were lead by Elizabeth and Darcy, the host and hostess, and Lord and Lady Matlock. Following suit, Colonel Fitzwilliam and Jane took their place in the line.
At first, Jane was a bit intimidated by her position in the line. She and Colonel Fitzwilliam were but fifth in a very long line. However, as the dance got underway, the colonel's smiles and lively conversation put her at ease. She was able to thoroughly enjoy the dance.
Over the last few weeks, she had spent a good amount of time with Colonel Fitzwilliam. While she had to admit they were not perhaps the most perfectly matched in manner and personality, their differences seemed to compliment one another. The colonel's rough exterior seemed to soften when he was around Jane, and Jane seemed to laugh more openly and was bolder in his company.
She had enjoyed listening to him regale stories of his tours overseas. Some were amusing and intriguing, others were heart wrenching. She began to understand his hard persona was not merely a façade, worn because he was expected to exhibit strength. It was, in fact, something built over time from seeing friends die on the battlefield; from marching for days, sometimes with little food; and from learning to shoot a man because your life depended on your ability to do so.
She began to see him for the complex man he was; a man who had suffered a great deal. Unlike many others who had suffered the loss of loved ones, he bore his losses primarily alone; he was a soldier and an officer, and it was therefore expected of him. He was a man who doted on his cousin and charge; whose pride swelled with every one of her accomplishments. He was a man who could be gentle as a lamb around her young cousins, but just as fearsome of a defender when needed. He was strong and loyal, but could also be amusing and even silly at times. There were moments when he was irreverent, and she especially disliked it when he cursed; though she also found she gave him far more latitude than she was wont to do with others.
When the dance ended, she was not only surprised by how quickly the time had passed, but also at her disappointment. She was therefore now very pleased she had already agreed to the last set with him.
After dancing several more dances with other gentlemen, it was finally time for the supper dance. Jane was relieved for more than one reason. First, her feet were beginning to hurt. She had yet to sit out a dance. Second, it was her dance with Lord Blakeslee; she was looking forward to a partner with whom she was acquainted. Her other dances - aside from the one with Mr. Darcy and Viscount Langford, Colonel Fitzwilliam's older brother - had been with strangers. While she would not say any of her partners were disagreeable, there were some Jane preferred over others.
Long before the supper dance began, Lord Blakeslee came to claim her hand. He gallantly bowed over it, and despite the presence of Colonel Fitzwilliam, grazed the back of it with his lips. "I believe I have the next dance, Miss Bennet." He sent a challenging smirk to Colonel Fitzwilliam.
With her usual serene smile, she followed him out to the floor. When the music began playing, they moved the steps with ease. Not surprisingly, Lord Blakeslee was very adept at dancing.
"How do you find London society now, Miss Bennet?" Lord Blakeslee opened. "It appears they very much approve of you."
A blush crept up Jane's neck and cheeks. "My own approval is inconsequential, milord. I am here to support my sister."
"Miss Elizabeth seems to be making a very good impression. And with a champion like Lady Matlock, your sister's acceptance amongst the ton is almost guaranteed."
"I am pleased to hear that. Lizzy has been very anxious about it."
"Will you remain in London until the wedding then?"
"No, I must return home. My mother will need assistance in preparing for the wedding."
"That is most unfortunate."
With a simple smile, Jane replied. "I shall miss my cousins, but someone must intervene on Lizzy's behalf." With a light chuckle she added, "When it comes to lace, my sister and mother do not always agree, and each is rather vocal about it."
Lord Blakeslee chuckled. "Knowing what I do of your sister, I can well imagine."
"Do you speak of when she was young and at Pemberley, or now?"
"A bit of both. When Darcy first mentioned Miss Elizabeth to me last November, he reminded me of the time she had landed in Pemberley's pond while we were playing pirates. Darcy and Miss Elizabeth blame me for the incident, but I swear it was Richard's fault. He was the one who shifted his weight off the end of the plank."
Jane nearly mis-stepped for the laughter the tale caused. She was thankful that no one seemed to notice.
Lord Blakeslee continued. "I doubt Miss Elizabeth continues to play pirates, but I have observed some of that same liveliness in her." Then realizing a change of subject was needed, he steered the conversation towards Hertfordshire, its scenery, the town, and Jane's favourite areas.
After the dance, Lord Blakeslee escorted Jane to the dining room. Much like the ballroom, this room was grander than any room in which Jane had dined. Uniformed servants stood along the walls, attentively waiting on the guests.
Lord Blakeslee found their seats. Not surprisingly, they were seated with her Aunt and Uncle Gardiner, near the head table. There were also a few others from the Lady Matlock's side of the family. At first, Jane was concerned her aunt and uncle might not be well received, but her fears were quickly put to rest, as Lord Blakeslee expertly guided conversation. He was careful to include everyone at the table.
After the guests were seated and the white soup served, Mr. Granville stood. "It is with great pleasure, I welcome you all tonight and thank you for joining us. I am especially honoured to be hosting this special event. There were many of us who did not think it would happen, but my cousin, Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy, has finally chosen a bride. Without further ado, I ask you all to join me in raising a glass to the future happiness of the couple. To Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy of Pemberley, Derbyshire, and Miss Elizabeth Bennet of Longbourn, Hertfordshire, may you blessed with many children and many years of joy."
The toast was followed by a number of cheers and clanking of glasses. Jane looked to her sister who sat blushing demurely beside Mr. Darcy. After raising her glass and taking a sip, she returned her attention to her dinner partner.
Blakeslee grinned as he observed Darcy and Elizabeth. "I do not believe I have ever seen Darcy so pleasant at such a gathering. Your sister is very good for him."
"They do appear very happy together," Jane replied. She watched the object of their conversation for a bit longer. She noticed the way they glanced at each other intermittently -- as if they were reassuring themselves of the presence of the other one -- while conversing with others. Seeing the way their faces glowed, she would not have been at all surprised if they had been discovered holding hands below the table. The happy thought entered her head that Colonel Fitzwilliam was right. Elizabeth and Darcy were in love.
As dinner progressed, chatter was light and friendly. The others who were not familiar with Elizabeth were very curious about her and spent a prodigious amount of time making inquiries. At first, Jane was a bit taken back at the impertinence of those at the table. As the conversation continued though, and topics moved from Elizabeth to Longbourn and Hertfordshire, Jane realized it was only sincere curiosity. She answered questions as best she could, without divulging too much.
While Jane was enjoying herself, she had wished for the opportunity for more personal discourse with Lord Blakeslee; he continued to be a mystery to her. They had been in each others company a few times over the last few weeks. From what she had learned of him, she was no longer surprised by his friendship with Darcy. Lord Blakeslee was well educated and, much like her future brother, continued to read a great deal. He was sharp-witted and well-spoken too. He enjoyed riding and other sports; one of his favourite being fox hunting. He countenance was open, but she strongly suspected that this was every bit a mask as Darcy's taciturn one. She could not help but wonder if she had seen the real person, or simply his public façade.
Unfortunately, private conversation would have to wait. Dinner ended and the crowd returned to the ballroom for more dancing.
When it came time for Jane to stand up with Bingley, she garnered the attention of several people; Darcy, Elizabeth, the Gardiners, Lord Blakeslee, Colonel Fitzwilliam, and Miss Bingley.
As the dance began, neither Jane nor Bingley would look directly at the other. In fact, the tension between the two was visible to anyone who cared to notice. For the first several minutes, they performed the steps of the dance in utter silence.
Finally, Jane said, "This dance is a favourite in Meryton."
"Yes. I recall having danced it at the Assembly," Bingley replied. He felt his palms sweating and was thankful for the necessity of gloves with his evening wear.
After several more minutes passed in silence, Jane noticed those who had gathered to support her. She felt her courage rise. "It is your turn to say something now, Mr. Bingley. I talked about the dance, and you ought to make some sort of remark on the size of the room, or the number of couples." Her tone was rigid and void of any of her usual friendliness.
Bingley smiled wanly; he had little experience with what he could only describe as an angry Jane Bennet. He began to regret his decision to dance with either of the Bennet ladies. The dance with Miss Elizabeth had been enough to sour his stomach to the point where he could eat little for dinner. Miss Elizabeth had been polite, but he was no match for her wit and her vague but censuring commentary throughout the dance. "There are a happy number of couples tonight, especially for a private ball," Bingley finally remarked, annoyed his voice had cracked part way through.
Jane smiled inwardly, relieved at the knowledge that he was as nervous as she. "Very well. That reply will do for the present. Perhaps by and by, I may observe that private balls are much pleasanter than public ones. But now we may be silent."
And silent they were, much to Bingley's relief. He was not certain he would survive if Miss Bennet decided to discuss something more substantial. His emotions were going in every direction at once. His heart was pounding rapidly, and he could feel the sweat gathering along the edge of his cravat. His heart told him to beg for Jane's forgiveness and a second chance; yet his mind told him he could not. He owed more to his father and his family. With his heart and his mind engaged in such a fierce battle, he was surprised he was able to perform the correct steps.
As the set continued in silence, all the hurt and anger in Jane slowly bubbled to the surface. Determined to bring closure to their relationship, she rallied once again. "Mr. Bingley, I have heard you may be returning to Netherfield in the spring. I think you will find the area quite lovely at that time."
Bingley caught his breath in his chest and was unable to speak for a moment. She had raised the one topic he had wished she would not. After what seemed to be an interminably long silence, he replied soundly, "I had thought to at one time, but no. I do not believe I shall. The neighbourhood does not suit."
Jane felt the sting of his remark. She nodded curtly once as she felt the last flicker of hope she held for him die. It was then that Jane realized that as long as he still held the lease to Netherfield, she had held on to the slight glimmer of hope that he would return to her. Now there was no reason to hope; she had heard it directly from him. She could not blame Miss Bingley or unforeseen events. There was no business. He simply was not returning, and by his own choice. He had played her for a fool. She had allowed herself to be blinded by his easy nature and charming looks.
Her chest began to ache painfully and she felt tears well up in her eyes. Silence reigned as she took a few moments to collect herself. In the steadiest voice she could muster, she said, "Then we will be thankful when you give it up, so it can be occupied by another."
Bingley dipped his head slightly, but said nothing. He could tell he had wounded her. At the time, he thought it would make him feel better. He wanted her to be as miserable as he. Seeing her now though, he only wished to apologize. Yet something held him back.
When their dance ended, Jane allowed Bingley to escort her to the edge of the dance floor and then hastily made for the nearest exit.
With so many people watching her, it was not surprising Jane's exit caused some commotion. Elizabeth was the first to react, followed by Colonel Fitzwilliam and Lord Blakeslee. As the colonel saw Elizabeth leave through the same exit Jane had only a moment prior, he stopped and halted Lord Blakeslee's progress as well. "Let her sister tend to her," he said without looking at the other man. He then muttered, "Bingley is a fool and deserves the simpering shrew he ends up with."
Lord Blakeslee stared dumbly at the colonel for a moment. He was in complete agreement with his statement, though for different reasons. He had always considered Bingley a bit of a whelp. Bingley's involvement with Miss Bennet, however, was news to him.
Darcy had told him another friend of his had at one time paid her attention, but had never said the name. Not only that, but from the casual manner in which Darcy spoke of the encounter, he had thought it to be merely a passing fancy on both sides. Both Bingley's and Miss Bennet's reactions to the dance, however, told a different tale. He had come tonight to determine the depth of Miss Bennet's affections for the colonel, only to find it may not be Richard who held them. Seeing the two ladies would be well attended upon their return, he went off to ponder this new information.
Across the ballroom, Charles suffered an interrogation by his sister. "What were you thinking, Charles?" Caroline hissed.
"It would have been impolite for me not to dance with her. We are well acquainted with the Bennets."
"You should have found an excuse to be absent!"
"And risk insulting Darcy? Or have you forgotten she is to be sister to Darcy?"
The reminder of Darcy's engagement only incited Caroline further. "That may be," she spat out in hushed tones. "Those scheming Bennets are beneath our notice, and Mr. Darcy will realize his mistake soon enough."
"I was simply doing my duty, Caroline. I have no intention of returning to Netherfield." He snorted lightly realizing how unconvincing he sounded even to himself.
"I should hope not!"
Wanting nothing but some solitude, he said, "I am calling for the carriage, Caroline. I am going home. Since you and Miss Woodall have no other escort, it is best you take your leave as well."
Caroline stepped closer and said between clenched teeth. "I will not, Charles! You cannot embarrass us by leaving the ball so early!"
Charles only shook his head. "Do as you wish Caroline. I am taking the carriage, and shall not send it back."
Jane breathed deeply, letting the cool air repair her tattered equanimity. "I will not cry over him," she whispered to the night sky. Still, disobedient tears welled up in her eyes. She took another deep breath and blinked them back.
"Would you like to leave, Jane?" Elizabeth asked softly. Jane turned and smiled gratefully at the sight of her sister. The two embraced.
"No, Lizzy. I will be fine in a moment." She pulled back and showed her sister a semi-forced smile. "I was only caught off guard at how changed Mr. Bingley has become." With a sad smile, she said, "Or perhaps he is as he always was, and I was simply too blind to see it. Either way, I am glad to have learned it now."
Elizabeth hugged her sister again compassionately and whispered in her ear. "I am sorry."
Jane stood hugging her sister, deriving both comfort and strength. After a few moments, she pulled back and said confidently. "Now that I know for certain how things stand, we can meet as indifferent acquaintances." She ignored her sister's look of disbelief and added, "Come. We should return before they send a search party for us." She shook her head. "I have been terribly rude and unfair to Colonel Fitzwilliam."
She saw her sister smirk knowingly. With a slight giggle, she whispered, "He has only asked to call on me, but I must own I have developed a preference for his company."
"Bingley!" Darcy called, seeing his friend leaving. "What the devil happened?"
Hearing his friend's harsh tone, Bingley sighed. Darcy was angry, and rightfully so. He knew enough of the relationship between the two sisters that if Miss Bennet was upset, it would also upset Miss Elizabeth. An unhappy Miss Elizabeth would make an angry Darcy. Bingley looked at the floor. "I am sorry, Darcy. I am not myself tonight. Miss Bennet and I exchanged a few unpleasant words. I am very sorry. Will you please give my apologies to Miss Elizabeth?" Seeing Darcy hesitate in his response only made things worse.
"Bingley, Miss Bennet looked to be in tears!"
Bingley's heart lurched as the words. He had not wanted to make Jane cry. Not really. Well, perhaps he had wanted her to hurt just a little. He had noticed she had danced with any number of suitors throughout the evening; and the way she had smiled at each one of them. Why should she be able to cast him off so easily? "I am sorry," he mumbled.
"Is there anything I can do, Bingley? You seem to be out of sorts lately."
Bingley bristled at what he perceived as Darcy's paternal manner. His head shot up. All his anger and resentment towards his friend was rekindled. "I am fine," he replied tersely. "It is nothing with which to concern yourself. I can manage well enough alone. Excuse me." With that, he turned and left.
Jane returned to the ballroom and was immediately greeted by Colonel Fitzwilliam and Darcy. The two had obviously been waiting for her and Elizabeth's return. She blushed at the concern written on both their faces. "I am sorry to have caused such alarm," she said. "I am fine. I needed only a moment to collect myself."
The four returned to the crowd and a moment later, Elizabeth and Darcy were being called away.
Alone with Jane, Colonel Fitzwilliam asked, "Are you certain you wish to return? I can call for my father's carriage and a servant to ride with us."
Touched by his genuine concern, she smiled and took his arm before it was offered. "I am quite certain. It is all in the past now."
The colonel returned a gentle smile. Under any other circumstances, he would have been elated at her words. She had all but declared she no longer harboured any feelings for Bingley. If only he was his own man.
Posted on Tuesday, 15 April 2008
As agreed, Colonel Fitzwilliam arrived on Gracechurch Street the morning after the Granville ball. He would have liked to have said he was well rested and prepared for this meeting, but he was not.
In truth, he had spent several hours after the ball considering what he would say to Jane today. To make matters worse, he could still see Georgiana's and his mother's tears, along with the concerned looks from his brother, sister, father and cousin from earlier that day as he told them of his orders. How he would survive Jane's tears, he did not know. At least I did not have to suffer Aunt Catherine's opinion on the matter as I did the last time I was sent overseas. Up until his father intervened, Aunt Catherine had demanded he resign and take up a new profession. "You could have the living at Hunsford when it becomes available," she had declared. "The clergy is a more respectable profession for a man of your lineage. I was indeed very displeased when I learned you were to enter the army."
He shuddered at the memory. He would face a sea of frogs alone before he would willingly enter a lifetime of servitude to his aunt.
He climbed the stairs to the Gardiner home. After checking his uniform one last time, he inhaled deeply, and then knocked on the door. He was ushered in by a servant, and after paying his respects to Mrs. Gardiner, he received permission to speak alone with Jane.
Jane watched nervously as her sister and Aunt Gardiner left the room, careful to leave the door open just enough not raise eyebrows. Unlike Elizabeth, who had fallen asleep almost instantly the night before, Jane had spent the first hour in bed contemplating this morning's interview. She knew what she hoped he would say, but she had no influence over that.
She sat silently wringing her hands, as Colonel Fitzwilliam paced nervously in front of her. Finally, he took a seat beside her. "Miss Bennet, as you know..." he began, paused, and then began again. "Miss Bennet, I came here today to inform you I have received new orders from Whitehall." A pained expression flitted across his face. "As I suspected, there was a reason I had been given a prolonged leave." He drew up a breath, steeling himself for the final pronouncement. "I, my brigade that is, we are being sent to the continent. I am uncertain of the duration, but I expect it will be at least six months before I am on English soil again."
Jane's eyes widened in surprise and distress. Of all the things she imagined him saying this morning, this was not one of them. For several moments, she remained speechless. She knew not what to say. She knew the dangers for soldiers being sent to the continent, and the idea of the colonel being in harm's way nearly brought tears to her eyes. Unsure of what else to say, she asked, "Will you still attend the wedding?" As soon as the words left her mouth, she winced at how trite they sounded.
"I am afraid I can not. I am to report for duty at the end of the week. I have already informed my family."
Jane nodded mutely, feeling tears fill her eyes.
The colonel inhaled deeply and took her hand in his. "Jane... Miss Bennet. For these many months I have come to know you as the most gentle, sweetest, and beautiful woman of my acquaintance. I think... I hope I have been fortunate to earn some of your regard." His mouth was suddenly dry; he paused and swallowed. "I can not and will not ask you to wait for me. However, if you are unattached when I return... Miss Bennet... I wondered... I hoped... would you allow me to formally court you?" He looked at her intently waiting for her response; his every feeling was visible on his face.
Jane's cheeks turned a deep crimson as a mixture of relief, pleasure, and sadness washed over her. She was relieved he had come not to make her an offer of marriage; she was not ready to accept one. At the same time, she was pleased at his declaration. It told her he believed his feelings ardent enough to withstand a long separation; and she could think of nothing more desirable than a courtship upon his return. Last night, she had realized how unfair she had been to him. She had accepted his attentions without truly opening her heart to him. His request would give her time to let those still fragile feelings she had felt towards him blossom without public consequences.
She carefully formed her words. She wanted to be honest with him. He deserved that. With a shy smile, she said, "I am flattered by your request, Colonel. While I can not yet call my feelings for you ardent love, I am not at all indifferent to you. I believe with time, they could develop into more. I would be very pleased to accept your addresses when you return."
The colonel's face flickered in disappointment, before a brilliant smile lit up his face. While her honest declaration had stung momentarily, she had given him every reason to hope for the future. "Thank you, Miss Bennet!" He raised her hand to his lips and pressed it fervently to his lips.
Jane nodded; her eyes brimming with tears. The lump in her throat prevented her from speaking, even if she had known what to say. For a long minute, they did nothing but stare at each other. The words they could not form could be easily read in the look in their eyes.
Finally, Colonel Fitzwilliam bowed over her hand and kissed it one last time. "Do not fear for me, Miss Bennet. I will keep myself safe, if only to return to you," he said softly. He gently cleared his throat. "You can receive news of me through my cousins and your sister. I shall write as often as I can." He took one last long look at her, then turned and left.
The day after the colonel's visit, Jane found herself riding in a carriage, returning to Hertfordshire. Darcy had been kind enough to convey her to Hertfordshire in one of his smaller coaches, making the ride not only comfortable, but also quiet. By the time the carriage had reached the outskirts of London, its natural sway had put her to sleep.
Last night had been sleepless. She had replayed her conversation with Colonel Fitzwilliam time and again. The intensity of his gaze haunted her, and she was afraid she had hurt him. At the same time, she knew it was better to be honest with him.
When she had finally found slumber, she was rudely awakened by a dream in which the colonel's ship had been lost at sea. After that, she was unable to sleep again. She felt cursed. Why was it that every man that she could love was destined to leave? The colonel's leaving had not been of his doing, unlike Bingley, but he was leaving just the same. She replayed his parting words and clung to them. She had to believe he would return.
The next thing she knew, the carriage was rolling up Longbourn's drive. She was surprised, but pleased to see her father waiting to hand her down. "Jane, it is good to see you," Mr. Bennet greeted. "At last I shall have some sensibility at the table again."
"I missed you too, Papa," Jane returned with a hug.
Mrs. Bennet swept out the front door, wildly waving her handkerchief. Her cries removed the last of the cobwebs from Jane's head. "Jane! Jane dearest! You must tell me all about town. What was the ball like? Was it much like the assemblies here? Oh, of course not, it must have been much grander! Was the Prince Regent there? I heard sometimes he attends the balls. Tell me of the gowns. Were there many feathers? Oh the jewels you must have seen!"
Jane hugged her mother and smiled in her usual serene manner. As the two headed indoors, Jane said, "The ball was lovely, mama." She then went into some detail of the ballroom and the guests. Finally, she said, "Lizzy purchased everything she needed for her trousseau; Aunt Gardiner and Lady Matlock were most helpful."
At the mention of the countess, Mrs. Bennet worked herself into a new fit of pique. Was she pretty? What jewels did she wear? Where did she purchase her gowns? Did she wear a lot of feathers? When the topic of Lady Matlock and the ball had been exhausted, the screeching vacillated between general raptures of town and dissatisfaction with the arrangements for Elizabeth's wedding.
It was some time then before Jane could divest herself of her mother. When she did, she made for the quiet of her room. On the way, she was accosted by Kitty and Lydia, who were not to be satisfied until she answered in the affirmative to the existence of gifts for them in her trunks.
Despite the noise, Jane was happy to be back in the bosom of her family and familiar surroundings. Here she did not think about suitors, evening gowns, and teas. Here she could enjoy her embroidery, perform her household duties and visit casually with neighbours. She was out from under the scrutinizing eyes of town and felt she could finally relax.
As the carriage carrying Jane rolled towards Hertfordshire, Bingley was in the process of forming a new resolve. He had spent the last few nights plagued with scenes from the ball and of Jane. He had come to a decision. He could not live without her. He was a fool to believe he could, and twice the fool for leaving her available for Colonel Fitzwilliam or Lord Blakeslee.
He had observed enough of her the night of the ball to know Jane at least welcomed the presence of both men. Unlike their dance, she had smiled and laughed with them. Her eyes sparkled in the way they used to for him. It was difficult to discern whom she favoured more, but that did not matter. Regardless of the status of her attachment to either gentleman, it would be an uphill battle to win her back. He had a great deal to atone for, but he was determined.
Having come to that decision, he decided he would attend Darcy and Elizabeth's wedding, if for no other reason than to speak with Jane. He would beg for her forgiveness and ask for a second chance. He would explain everything. Then, God willing, he would court her and leave her without a doubt of his affections or intentions. He no longer cared for other people's opinion on the matter. She was a gentleman's daughter and that was good enough for him.
He did not think about what he would do if she refused him; he would cross that bridge should he come to it, yet prayed he never would. Jane had a gentle and forgiving spirit, and it was upon that he based his hopes for the future.
The wedding would take place in a few weeks. In the meantime, he needed a distraction; preferably something outside of town. He longed for sport and the open countryside. As further inducement, he was not particularly looking forward to happening upon Miss Crandall, Miss Woodall, or even his sister.
He pondered his options; unfortunately, opening Netherfield, was not one of them. His solicitor had already put the lease up for sale and all of his possessions had been removed.
Thoughts of his solicitor brought to mind the pile of papers in his study that needed his attention. Suddenly, he recalled one dispatch in particular.
He dashed to study and rifled through the stack of papers. With a grin, he held up the one he had been searching for; the one that listed a few estates that were for sale. With nothing noteworthy to keep him in London, he was for the country.
Pleased to have something to do other than idle passing fancies, he ordered Snyder to ready his trunks for departure in two days. He would inform Caroline of his plans that evening and have her stay with the Hursts. First, however, there was a matter of the invitation for dinner at Boodle's from Darcy.
Lord Blakeslee sat at his breakfast table alone. Julian had returned to Cambridge for the Easter term, and his mother was still above stairs. He had spent the last few days mulling over the events of the Granville ball. Still, he was no closer to reaching a conclusion.
Nothing had gone as he had expected. First, there was the emergence of Bingley, and then Richard's unmistakeable interest in Miss Bennet.
He recalled the challenging look he had received from his friend when he arrived at the ball. It was not dissimilar to what they had shared in the past, but this time there was something slightly different in Richard's manner. He had the impression that when it came to Miss Bennet, it was no longer a game. With a chuckle, he mused the colonel, much like Darcy, was a lost man.
He rubbed his chin as he contemplated that possibility. If Richard was serious about Miss Bennet, he was prepared to concede. While he admired the lady, he could not say his heart was truly touched. Perhaps he had been wise to guard it as well as he did. He had seen more than one friendship dissolve over the issue of a lady, and he would not allow that to happen.
He warmed his cup of lukewarm coffee with a splash of hot liquid from the urn. Then taking a sip, he returned to his meditations. In a few short weeks, he would travel to Hertfordshire for Darcy's wedding. "You are a lucky man, my friend," he muttered to himself. As far as he was concerned, Darcy had found the perfect woman -- for Darcy that is. To think I have been spending all my time in London, when the true beauties sit in the country, ready to be plucked.
Taking another sip of coffee, he contemplated the mystery that was Jane Bennet. She apparently still harboured some hope for Bingley. At the same time though, she had accepted the attentions from both himself and Richard. The question was though, what was the nature of her attachment to either of them? Had her heart been touched? Or was she simply being polite and doing as she thought she ought.
A woman in her position did not turn away potential suitors. For someone like Jane, marriage equated security and a roof over her head. It did not mean she was mercenary, so much as she was practical.
Unfortunately, he had seen little of her interaction with his friend. She seemed to be comfortable with him, and he had to admit she seemed more animated with him. Still, there was nothing overt to discern any deep affection in any quarter. Though the depth of her interest was not discernable, it also was not the false affectation displayed by so many women seeking a husband. The fact that Jane always maintained the comportment of a lady was one of the things he admired about her.
He shook his musings from his head. He had more important things to consider. He needed a plan for while he was in Hertfordshire. If he and Jane did not come to some sort of understanding by then, she would very likely be beyond his reach - if she was not already.
Yes, he would undoubtedly see her from time to time when she visited the Darcys, but he those visits would most likely not occur for a while. The season would prove very busy for the newly married couple, and they were unlikely to host guests until they removed to Pemberley.
He would have perhaps two weeks in Hertfordshire to determine her feelings. He would spend as much time in her company as he could without drawing attention. Hopefully at the end, he would be able to come to a decision. If there was affection, he would pursue her. If not, he would bow out gracefully and seek a wife in another quarter.
Colonel Fitzwilliam rose early as he always did. He stood and stretched, removing the kinks in his back caused by the cot. It was always this way the first few nights in camp as his back protested the lack of a comfortable bed.
He made his way to the nearby fire, in hopes of finding coffee. He was disappointed. Being one of the first up, there was no coffee, or water for washing. He considered waking his sergeant to see to those items, but decided against it. He liked the morning solitude.
He looked over the camp. There were several neat rows of tents, each containing four men. In between the rows, were the fire rings; some still smouldering with last night's embers. He took in a deep breath of the cool morning air and watched the fog hover above the ground.
Soon the camp would be bustling with activity. Men, including himself, would be shouting orders, and others would be hurrying to see them carried out. At the moment though, it was peaceful.
He headed towards the area in which preparations were underway. There was a great deal of work to be done. He was glad he had arrived early. Miss Bennet had left London, so there was little reason to remain there. Not only that, but the last few days at home were always uneasy. Conversations were always stilted, as his impending departure seemed to loom over every topic.
Here, at camp, he had made good use of his time. He had been able to put the men back on pace in their preparations and take care of the last minute items that always cropped up.
He looked over the list of equipment that was currently being crated for departure and the list of things still left undone. They had a three month supply planned, plus some extra to replenish the troops already abroad. After that, they would have to depend on shipments from home and the support of foreign towns. That was perhaps the worst part about being on foreign soil; they did not always meet with welcoming people. Unfortunately, carrying anything more than planned would either slow down the progress of the march too much or spoil.
The colonel looked over the duty rosters. They were still on track to depart in a little over a week. He scribbled a few notes on the roster and then turned to his next task.
This was the chore he hated most; dealing with the enlisted men who failed to report.
It had been three days since the men were due back. Anytime the men were given leave, a few always failed to return. It was simply the way of things. There was nothing glamorous about the regulars, especially during war time. The work was hard, the pay bad, and the food worse. Lodgings consisted of little more than a piece of canvas and a blanket to protect a man from the elements. Sadly, it was still better than the other options some of the men had.
He looked over the lists his lieutenants had provided. Under normal circumstances, this task would have been completed the day after. With the knowledge of their most recent assignment though, Colonel Fitzwilliam decided a little leniency was required. Still, the time for mercy and understanding had come and gone. Any man who had yet to report was now a deserter.
With a sigh, he scanned the first list. About a dozen men were missing. Considering they knew they were headed for the continent, he was expecting worse. Still, and despite his own reservations, he could not allow others to think desertion would go unpunished. So, taking out a quill and paper, he began writing and signing arrest warrants.
Posted on Monday, 21 April 2008
His plans in order and trunks packed, Bingley made his way to Boodle's. It would no doubt be the last time he saw Darcy before the wedding. If all went well, he would not return to London until afterwards.
"Bingley!" Darcy greeted. "I hardly see you these days."
Bingley turned a sarcastic smirk. "I have been where I always am," he replied. "I believe it is you who has been difficult to find."
"So I have been. Duties of a fiancé, I am afraid," Darcy replied with a light chuckle. After inquiries regarding the family, the two settled into a corner that afforded them some privacy. A bottle of wine and cigars were ordered, and the two fell into easy conversation. After the cigars were lit and a few puffs of smoke expelled, Darcy raked his hand through his hair, a sign something more serious was on his mind.
"Just spit it out, Darcy," Bingley chided, feeling a bit impatient after imbibing a few glasses of wine.
"I have heard some disturbing rumours about you, Bingley. And then there was your behaviour at the ball. Is everything all right?" Darcy asked, his steady gaze fixed on his friend.
Alarmed, Bingley sat upright. "Rumours? What kind of rumours?"
"Nothing for the scandal sheets; just that you have been keeping unusual company, have been visiting Watier's more than your wont, and are often heavily in cups." Bingley's eyes widened. Who had told Darcy of his trips to Watier's? He had done nothing disgraceful, had he? Sure, he had consumed a fair amount of brandy and port on those evenings, but not any more than others. Put on the defensive, feelings of righteous indignation jumped to the fore. Errick is right. Darcy can be a bit too serious for his own good. I was just having a bit of fun.
"And so my big brother feels obligated to check up on me?" he snarled. He desperately wanted to know the source of such rumours, but knew Darcy would never divulge it.
"No! Of course not! You are my friend, and the rumours concerned me as they seemed a bit extraordinary."
The pleasant mood was gone.
"I am perfectly fine. It was a few nights with some old friends. Perhaps we got a little carried away, but not everyone is as staid as you, Darcy."
Darcy held up his hands in surrender. "I only wanted to offer you my assistance, should you require it." At Bingley's curt nod, Darcy determined it was time to change the subject. "Will you be travelling with the rest of the party to Hertfordshire for the wedding?"
"No. I am headed north on some business, but I will attend your nuptials."
"I am glad to hear it." Darcy replied, his voice markedly lighter. "It would not be the same without you. I was concerned when I had not received your response."
"I suppose my secretary has been a bit negligent." Bingley stared at the contents of his glass, hoping Darcy could not see through him. In truth, he had not intended on attending the wedding until the other night. With a twitch of his mouth he added, "And do not worry, I will not bring Caroline." Bingley's smile broadened when he saw Darcy attempt to suppress his sense of relief.
"I am sorry, Bingley, but I will not allow anyone to disrespect my fiancée. I simply cannot allow her to ruin the wedding. I had hoped not inviting the Hursts..."
Bingley held up his hand. "No need for explanations. I understand perfectly."
A bit later, the two parted on pleasant terms. Darcy wished Bingley luck in his business endeavours, and Bingley returned the well wishes on the upcoming journey to Hertfordshire.
Colonel Fitzwilliam rode atop Hector, bringing up the rear of his regiment. They had been marching for two days and would reach the Cinque Ports in another day or two. They had been fortunate so far, and suffered no more than a light drizzle that lasted only the morning of their first day.
What he would not give for a bath right now. The days in London had softened him; a bath every day, sometimes two, and soft bed every night, not to mention the pleasant company.
He could not help the grin that broke free remembering his last nights at Lanelle House. After sending his god-son to bed with fanciful tales of battles and damsels in distress, he and his brother Stephen shared some brandy. They bantered and teased one another as they had always done.
His brother was the one person who did not let the coming tour of the continent impede their conversation. It was not that Stephen was unconcerned, rather he understood that enjoying the last days together was far more desirable than lamenting and speculating what could occur.
Their goodbye had been solemn and full of well wishes, but there were no tears or overly concerned looks. His brother understood him, and he was thankful for his presence. He was also thankful it was only Stephen who had seen him off that last morning.
Thoughts of those evenings reminded him of a conversation he and Stephen had about marriage and courtship. He had never named Miss Bennet specifically, or stated his intentions, but it was she that was in his thoughts. He felt a familiar ache in his chest that always came with that name.
He let his mind wander to the dances they had shared and he revelled in the sight of her blush and the soft look in her eyes. He could not help wondering if she thought about him, and fervently hoped she did.
"Soon," he told himself. He would return to England soon and dedicate his time to courting her with the intent of marriage, and with her father's permission. He would even enlist Darcy's help if necessary.
He shook away his dreamy thoughts. The time for those was the silent nights; now he needed to focus on his men.
He examined the Kent countryside as they marched. With its rolling green hills and wild flowers, it was a beautiful land. Unfortunately, the name Kent would forever be marred in his memory. It was not only the county which hosted Lady Catherine and her daughter Anne, but also the location of that ill fated city, Ramsgate. Now, it would also be the place he would leave his love. Not knowing when he would see her again, or if she would be waiting for him.
As they continued, he noticed a small family that had pulled off to the side of the road, allowing his men to pass. He waved at the young lad who was watching the rows of soldiers; his eyes glittering in excitement. The father whispered something to his son. In the next moment, the lad stood tall and rigid, as if at attention. The colonel chuckled. and dipped his head as he passed.
A sudden feeling of longing overcame him. Inexplicably, the scene with the boy and his father touched him. In the next moment, he inhaled deeply and kicked his heels into Hector, prompting him into a trot. He chastised himself for being ridiculous. He was a soldier and a man of war; he did not have time for such petty emotions.
Bingley startled awake and took the next several moments to get his bearings. Never had he found the rock of the carriage so comforting, especially when he realized he was alone in it.
He rubbed the sleep from his face and stretched. It was all a dream. He took a deep breath and chuckled to himself. He had not made the biggest mistake of his life. He was not wed to Miss Crandall. He was on his way north to look at a potential estate.
He looked out the window at the passing countryside. It was getting late, and the sun hovered just above the hills. The large limestone rocks jutting out at odd angles told him he was nearing the peaks. It would take one more day of travel before he reached his destination, if the weather held out. Not that he minded. The trip north was simply a distraction from the lures of London. He was simply passing time until Darcy's wedding.
As he reflected upon things, he realized how blind he had been. How could he not see Darcy's engagement to Miss Elizabeth coming? The signs were all there -- starting with the way Darcy stepped forward at the first assembly in Meryton. The behaviour was so uncharacteristic of Darcy; he should have realized then and there that his relationship with Elizabeth went beyond friendship. They had put on a good show, but anyone who knew Darcy should have known better. Still, Darcy disregarding family expectations was wholly unexpected. Nonetheless, he was to be married in a little over a month.
He laughed aloud remembering Caroline's fits of jealousy. She had every reason to be jealous and wary of Miss Elizabeth. After all, Elizabeth had something Caroline did not -- a long standing friendship with Darcy. Now, Miss Elizabeth was engaged to the man his sister had spent years trying to capture. If I were a betting man, I would wager Darcy and Miss Elizabeth's romance started when they were young and something split them up.
He nodded to himself, satisfied with that assessment. "Soon enough, my friend, I hope to make us brothers," he said aloud with a smile.
The carriage pulled up in front of a pleasant looking inn, and the carriage door opened. "Sir, we are out of daylight, and the next inn is nigh twenty miles. I think it best we stay here for the night."
"Very well. How far are we from Warwickshire?"
"We made good time today, sir. We should arrive on the morrow, just after the noon hour."
Bingley smiled and patted the man on the shoulder and dropped a small bag of coins into his hand. "Excellent. See to the horses and I shall see you in the morning."
Time passed quickly in Hertfordshire. The wedding was approaching and there was an unending list of things to do in preparation. On this particular afternoon, Jane found herself outside, working on the embroidery square she intended to give as a wedding present. It was nearly complete.
Lovingly, she ran a finger over the stitches. The square was an image of Longbourn gardens where she and Elizabeth had often sat and talked. She hoped it would remind Elizabeth of all they had shared.
Her musings were interrupted by Lydia and Kitty, who were skipping towards her. Lydia was waving what appeared to be a letter in the air. "This just came in the post for you. I think it is from Lizzy."
Jane smiled broadly and cracked the seal. She noticed her two sisters waiting nearby. She scanned the letter. "There is nothing of import here."
Lydia returned a sly look. "Nothing important, or nothing you are willing to share."
"Nothing important," she said sternly, hoping her sister heard her admonishment in her tone.
With a huff, Lydia turned. "Come Kitty. We must have the most boring sisters!"
As soon as her younger two sisters were gone, Jane quickly re-scanned the letter for news of the colonel.
March 9, 18--
Dearest Jane,
How I wish you were still in London. I could use your gentle spirit. Life since removing to Lanelle House has not been idle.
I spend my mornings with Lady Matlock, learning to run a house the size of Arryndale. Lanelle House has twenty-six servants; a few more than Arryndale. Each morning I meet with Lady Matlock to go about planning meals and other chores that are required for the day. Once household matters are seen to, I spend my time practicing the pianoforte, since a proper hostess "must be able to entertain her guests with vices other than cards and gossip."
My afternoons are spent making social calls, purchasing yet more gowns and other accessories befitting Mrs. Darcy and preparing to take my bow. The Queen is very specific in the attire I must wear, and sadly, very little of it can be worn outside of St. James.
At this point, I must concur with papa; while London has many diversions, it is not worth the hassle one must go through to be considered presentable.
Today, I spent two hours with Mdme.____, learning how to walk and bow. I never knew how improperly I walked until today! And to think I have always considered myself to be an excellent walker!
All this pomp for what I am told will take but a few minutes seems a bit ridiculous. Nonetheless, I am resolved to execute my bow flawlessly, and am resigned to the many hours of practice it will take to accomplish this feat. I must own, after this, I am beginning to look forward to sitting for my portrait. I believe I have mastered sitting!
My dear Jane, I must confess, that even with Lady Matlock's assistance, I find the prospect of becoming Mrs. Darcy a bit daunting. I am concerned I will not be ready. Fitzwilliam assures me I will be an excellent hostess and I try to take some comfort in his confidence in me, but every day it seems there is more I do not know.
Arryndale boasts fourteen sets of china, nine sets of silver and eleven sets of crystal. This is not speaking of the endless supply of table linens and candelabras. Then of course, there are flowers, tapers, and seating arrangements to be decided upon. Lady Matlock and I have spent three days determining the most fashionable combination of these to use for the dinner I am to host upon my return to London as Mrs. Darcy.
I long for the wilds of Hertfordshire. I find I miss the tranquillity of the countryside and my dearest sister. At least Fitzwilliam and I are in agreement on this point, and I hope after this first Season, we can spend more time at Pemberley.
Most of my reprieves come in the evenings, when I am able to dine with Fitzwilliam, Georgiana and the Matlocks. We are sometimes joined by others, most frequently Lord Blakeslee.
We have learned only yesterday that Colonel Fitzwilliam has set out for Cinque Ports, where he will board a ship for the continent. This will be the colonel's third overseas campaign, and thus far he has returned with nary a scratch. I pray each night that God may keep him safe, not only for you, dear sister, but for my new family as well.
I must end this letter now, as I am to spend the afternoon with Georgiana and Fitzwilliam at the Rotunda. I am most anxious for the outing, as my legs yearn for a long walk. Until I return, I remain
Your loving sister,
Jane laughed at her sister's letter. Two hours learning to walk! She could only imagine Elizabeth's frustration. She could not help but also wonder how Mdme. ____ fared. Elizabeth was never an easy student if she did not find merit in the task at hand. She was sure Elizabeth found little merit in learning to walk in the dainty, airy steps she saw many women walk whilst she was in town.
The other parts of the letter were disconcerting at best. Why had her sister mentioned Lord Blakeslee and none of the other guests? Surely the Darcys and Matlocks entertained a large circle of acquaintances. Had Lord Blakeslee said something to Elizabeth? Had he asked after her?
During her time in London, she had been unable to determine his level of interest. He had played the interested suitor well, but how could he be serious about her? She felt a quiver of anxiety, knowing he would arrive in Hertfordshire in just a few weeks for the wedding. They would be in company often then. Did Lord Blakeslee mean to court her while she was in Hertfordshire? Perhaps he had been reluctant to declare his intentions, until he could secure her father's permission.
The idea left her a bit unsteady. She was unsure how she felt about him. What a disaster to find herself in the same shoes as Elizabeth. Surely she could not turn down an offer from an earl!
Bingley entered the Fox and Hound. The place appeared clean and devoid of dubious riff raff. A check of his watch told him it was a little early for the dining hour, which could explain the emptiness of the main room. Nonetheless, Bingley was hungry.
After securing a room, he decided to eat downstairs. He was in no mood for solitude, and if he was lucky, he would find a fellow traveller with which to share his meal. It was an advantage he had not always appreciated when travelling with Darcy. Despite his friend's preference for quiet in the carriage, he could always be depended upon for conversation during meals.
His eye was caught by a passing flash of pink muslin. He turned and was awe struck by what he saw. Her back was to him, but he knew that shape and those golden curls that peaked out from beneath the bonnet. "Jane," he whispered. He felt his mouth go dry. Fortune had finally smiled on him. He had been determined to wait until Hertfordshire, but as they say in business, never pass up a golden opportunity. And what an opportunity this was!
He could not account for her being here, but he would discover how it came to pass later. He stood and took a deep breath. His heart was pounding violently against his rib cage. He took a step closer to the maiden, then another.
Just then, the young girl turned around and Bingley was propelled backward into his seat by what he saw. She had Jane's hair, and Jane's shape, but not Jane's eyes, nor her pretty pink lips. It was not Jane!
He heard the girl speak, and fought the urge to cover his ears at the nasally sound. It was not the voice of his angel! He turned back to his table and gulped down his glass of wine. How could he have erred so grievously!
Thankfully, his blunder seemed to go unnoticed, leaving Bingley alone in his distress. How embarrassing that could have been!
He poured himself another glass of wine and steadfastly kept his eyes on his own table. He would not make the mistake again. Jane was in Hertfordshire, he reminded himself, and there she would remain until the wedding.
Colonel Fitzwilliam stood on the ship's deck. The air was still cool, and the added wind coming off the sea made it bitterly cold. The sun had yet to break over the horizon, but his men were working by pre-dawn light to load the last of their cargo. He pulled his great coat around himself tighter to keep out the wind.
A good wind and a clear morning; he could not ask for better weather conditions. He looked to the horizon again and was greeted with the first glimpses of the yellow sun. ‘Red sky at morning...' He recited, assuring himself of safe passage. It would not be long now before they set sail.
He looked to the docks. A half dozen or so more barrels, a few dozen wooden crates and they would be under way. At least they were not sailing during the Ides of March; that would have indeed been a bad omen.
"Good morning, Colonel," a voice said from behind, interrupting his thoughts.
The colonel turned and saw the ship's captain standing next to him. They smartly saluted one another. "Good morning, Captain."
The captain nodded to where the sun was rising. "Not a trace of red. Good sign, you know."
"I believe we shall be loaded within the hour."
"Excellent! We should still be able to use the tide to head out then," the captain exclaimed. "Been on dry land far too long for my tastes."
The colonel returned a light chuckle. "Happy to oblige, Captain."
"If you will follow me, sir. I will show you to your quarters and those of the other officers."
After a tour of the ship and cursory examination of his quarters, he returned to the deck to oversee the final items being loaded.
It was far too early for the town to be awake; so as the ropes were cast aside and the anchor was raised, only the deckhands of other ships were present to see them off. The colonel smiled. He preferred this type of send off; no tears and mournful goodbyes, no fluttering of handkerchiefs and false promises of returning. There was only the call of the seagulls, the whisper of the wind, and the lapping of water against the ship's hull.
Despite the heavy rocking, Colonel Fitzwilliam stood solemnly on the deck, thinking about all that he was leaving behind and all he would miss. It was never good to dwell on such things, but as he had nothing more important to do, he permitted himself this indulgence.
Soon Darcy would be married. He smiled, recalling the last evening he spent with his cousin. It had taken some effort, but Darcy had finally admitted to being deeply in love with Elizabeth. "Whether I am or not, Richard, does not matter. She does not love me, and I will not risk our friendship," Darcy had said.
He chuckled to himself at how daft his cousin could be sometimes. He had seen enough of Elizabeth to know the lady was not indifferent to her betrothed. It would take little effort on Darcy's part to make her fall head over heels in love with him, if she was not already. "You are a lucky man, Darcy," he said to no one in particular.
Thoughts of Darcy's marriage always brought thoughts of Jane with it. Colonel Fitzwilliam pulled his coat tightly around him, as if he could bury the pain in his chest. He did not like to think about her so early in the day; it only distracted him from his duties and put him in a bad mood. Nonetheless, there she was, Jane, with her beautiful blond hair, heavenly smile, and blue eyes. He would come back for her. He was determined. Then he would resign from the military and court her and they would marry. He would never again leave her side.
He felt the rocking of the boat become steadier and knew they had crossed the breakers. They were for the Peninsula. With a heavy heart, he watched the land he had sworn to defend disappear over the horizon, taking with it the only woman he had ever truly loved.
Posted on Tuesday, 29 April 2008
A fortnight before the wedding, the town of Meryton was abuzz with activity and gossip. Elizabeth and the Darcys, as well as their friends and relatives from town, were due to arrive in a few days.
Matchmaking mothers and gossiping hens were in a flurry; the number of eligible young men and women attending the wedding varied almost by the hour.
Milliners, dressmakers, and other shops were bustling with activity, each family attempting to secure the finest in hopes of luring one of the eligible men or women. Their failure in autumn did nothing to quell their motivation. If anything, the impending wedding only made them more determined. After all, one wedding often begets another, or so went the reasoning.
The excitement in town mirrored Jane's own merriment, though for different reasons. It seemed like an age since she had seen Lizzy. She was desperate for her sister's consult, and was beginning to wonder how she would survive even longer separations once Elizabeth was married. I will have to save my allowance for the post, for letters will certainly be frequent. Jane sighed. At least the delay in letters from London is not long.
The day of the rumoured arrival, the streets of Meryton were lined with spectators. Indeed, a stranger to the area might have expected a parade of some sort; they would have been disappointed. In the hours just before mid-day repast, the spectators were dispirited when only a small coach bearing the Darcy crest rolled through town, on its way to Longbourn, carrying Georgiana, Darcy and Elizabeth.
Jane joined her father outside to greet her sister. They waited patiently as Darcy handed down Georgiana and then Elizabeth. At the sight of her sister, Jane could no longer hold back. She rushed to her and threw her arms around her. "Lizzy, I have missed you," she whispered.
Elizabeth laughed a simple reply.
After several moments, Jane released her, turning her over to her father, and greeting the Darcys. After the brief exchange, everyone was led inside where the rest of the family waited.
"Mr. Darcy, Miss Darcy," Mrs. Bennet said charmingly. "It is so good to see you again. I am delighted to hear you will be bringing so many of your friends and family. I am looking forward to introducing them all to my girls." Jane cringed at her mother's poorly veiled innuendo.
"I assure you, Mrs. Bennet, your pleasure is only exceeded by my own," Darcy replied.
"Did your cousin, the colonel, not travel with you?"
"Colonel Fitzwilliam has been called to duty, Madam. Unfortunately, he will be unable to attend the wedding."
"Not attend? But he was to be your groomsman!" Mrs. Bennet wailed. "My Lydia was so looking forward to making his acquaintance again."
"You were mistaken, Madam. That office had always been intended for my friend Lord Blakeslee. Had I intended Colonel Fitzwilliam to stand up with me, his duty to the King would certainly pre-empt any duty he might feel towards me."
"Lord Blakeslee? An Earl?" Mrs. Bennet exclaimed excitedly. "When will he arrive? Did he travel with you?"
"He arrives later this afternoon, with rest of my family."
As Mrs. Bennet pondered the presence of a member of the peerage in her house, Jane turned to Georgiana. She could no longer contain her curiosity on the colonel's wellbeing. "Georgiana," she asked, trying to sound as unaffected as possible, "have you heard from your cousin?"
"No. I believe he has set sail, so letters will be infrequent. In his last letter, he did mention how disappointed he was to be missing the wedding."
Jane's cheeks pinked at the comment, wondering if it was meant to be directed at her, but said nothing. She desperately wanted to ask another question that had been plaguing her since hearing of the large party that was descending on Meryton, but did not dare. Instead she asked Georgiana, "Will you be remaining in Hertfordshire after the wedding?"
"I will leave Hertfordshire the day after the wedding and remain with my aunt and uncle in London for a while." Georgiana smiled brightly at Elizabeth. "I will return to Pemberley in the summer with my brother and... my sister." She hid her face, but not before the others saw the impudent smirk that told of the presumption she knew she had taken.
Their conversation was interrupted once again by Mrs. Bennet. "Mr. Darcy, you must enlighten me to the particulars of your guests. I would have all their favourites."
All eyes turned towards Darcy, though for different reasons.
As requested, Darcy named the guests who would be staying with him at the Great House at Stoke: Lord Blakeslee and his mother, and Lord and Lady Matlock, as well the Viscount and his wife and son.
"But I had heard you were to bring seven gentlemen," Mrs. Bennet protested. "Does not Mr. Bingley attend you?"
Jane and Elizabeth both cringed at their mother's rude comment, and sunk even further into their seats when Lydia asked boldly if any of them were officers.
"I am sorry to disappoint you, Madam. Mr. Bingley will attend the wedding, but had business that could not be delayed. My friend, Mr. Woodall and his family were also unable to attend, as Mrs. Woodall is still in confinement."
Mrs. Bennet hmphed, and Jane let out a breath she did not realize she was holding. Her mother had asked the question she would not. She had her answer though. Mr. Bingley would not be part of the pre-wedding festivities. She would not have to concern herself with being in his company for more than a day or two.
Shortly thereafter, the Darcys stood to take their leave.
Late in the afternoon, the people of Meryton were appeased when three more crest-bearing carriages rolled through their little town and on to the Great House at Stoke. Unbeknownst to them, however, the small parade hosted but one bachelor.
That evening, Jane and Elizabeth retired to their room early.
"Tell me everything I have missed, Jane."
"There is not much to tell, Lizzy. Mother is as you would expect, and father continues to pass time in his study."
"Was papa very angry over Colonel Fitzwilliam?"
Jane blushed and shook her head mutely. She turned away to hide the tears that often seemed to present themselves at the mention of that particular gentleman. "He inquired over his intentions and my preference for him." With a slight blush, she added, "I informed him the colonel had been sent to the continent. Papa said nothing more about it after that."
Elizabeth put a consoling hand on Jane's shoulder. "I am certain there is nothing to fear. I have heard that there are very few battles, and with the Colonel's rank he may not see combat at all."
Jane returned a half smile. Then, desperately wanting to change the subject, she said, "But now Lizzy, you must tell of all your preparations. You sounded rather discouraged in your letters."
"It was not so awful as that. I had simply not appreciated what was expected of me." She smiled, but Jane thought it was forced. "I have managed not to trip on my train while walking backwards several times now. As for the dinner, Fitzwilliam has every confidence in me." After the slightest bite to her lower lip, she added, "I do hope I do not disappoint him."
Jane let out a little giggle. "Lizzy, you could never disappoint anyone."
"Oh no Jane," Elizabeth laughed in return. "You are mistaking me for you. I am far from perfect." Elizabeth crossed her eyes for emphasis, causing them both to laugh.
"I shall miss you, Lizzy."
"And I you, Jane. Who else will remind me not to be so impertinent?"
After a long, companionable silence, Jane asked tentatively. "Lizzy, are you certain you wish to marry Mr. Darcy?"
"Of course I do!" came the emphatic reply.
Jane giggled at the quickness of her sister's response. With a meek smile, she asked, "Do you love him?"
Elizabeth buried her face in her hands. When she looked up, it was as if she had been attacked by a jar of rouge. "I shall admit this only to you, my dearest sister." With an excited pause she said, "I do love him; with all my heart. He truly is the best of men." She hid her face once again, causing Jane let out a merry trill.
"Oh, Lizzy! I am so very happy for you! I knew it was only a matter of time before..."
Elizabeth suddenly looked up sharply. "Please Jane, you must not say a word. He does not love me the same way. I would not want him to feel awkward or obliged to me. It would ruin our friendship, and that is the worst thing that could ever happen. You must promise me you will not say a word to anyone!"
Were it not for the deep lines of concern and pleading in Elizabeth's eyes, Jane would have been tempted to laugh again. Her sister was a complete ninny if she could not see how much Darcy adored her. How could two people be so blind to each other? Still, it was not her place to say anything. "I promise, Lizzy. I shall not say a word. But I think you would do well to be honest with Mr. Darcy."
Elizabeth shook her head decidedly. "We have agreed to a marriage of friends. I shall not change the terms of our agreement now."
Jane hugged her sister tightly. "Very well."
The following morning, the Darcys called again, this time with Lord Blakeslee in tow.
Blakeslee was in great anticipation. Not only would he get a chance to meet the rest of the Bennets, but he would have a chance to see Miss Bennet again.
Throughout the introductions, he bowed when appropriate, but Jane was never far from his purview. When Jane was finally introduced, he smiled warmly at her and bowed just a bit deeper than he had to the others. As he rose from his bow, he could not help the way his eyes softened and rested on her. He felt just a hint of remorse when he saw how deeply she blushed and averted her eyes.
The moment was broken when Mrs. Bennet's voice filled the room. "Milord, it is an honour to have such a fine, rich gentleman as a guest at Longbourn. Why, I was just telling Mr. Bennet the other day what a fine thing it was for our Lizzy to be marrying Mr. Darcy. How it would certainly put our other girls in the paths of other such eligible men." She then went about inviting the newly arrived to sit. Good Lord! There must be some mistake! Surely this could not be Miss Bennet or Miss Elizabeth's mother!
He was further baffled when Mrs. Bennet placed him next to her youngest. Despite the girl's height, she did not appear even old enough to be out. He looked to Darcy for some sort of explanation, but found him already seated next to his betrothed and Miss Bennet. He could have at least had the decency to warn me!
Lord Blakeslee's attention turned when he heard the youngest sigh loudly. "I was so hoping Mr. Darcy would bring more officers with him. Surely he and his cousin know many." Kitty let out a loud giggle. "Oh, yes. That would have been so grand!"
Lydia batted her lashes at him. "I do so adore a man in regimentals."
He inched away from the girl, preventing her from leaning into him, and took a moment to collect himself. "But ladies, regimentals for a title would hardly be a worthy trade."
Lydia was about to open her mouth again, but Jane cut her off. "Milord, it is good to see you again. I hope your travels were not too difficult."
Lord Blakeslee smiled in return, silently thanking her for her interference. "They were not at all difficult. I am only sorry I was not able to arrive sooner." He was pleased when he saw Jane blush and bite her lower lip nervously in response. Presented with an easy way to extract himself from the inane chatter of the youngest two, he asked, "Miss Bennet, will you be in London again soon?"
"No. I have been away from home far too long, and with Lizzy leaving, I am certain my father will wish me to remain."
Lydia chimed in, "When Lizzy returns to town, I will ask her to send for me. I would dearly love to attend a ball." Kitty seconded the notion.
"I will have Papa make Lizzy invite us all, for surely her house will be large enough," Lydia sang. "She can buy us all new gowns as well, for Mama says she will have more than enough pin money."
Goodness! No wonder Darcy has not introduced any of the other Bennets until now. Miss Bennet and Miss Elizabeth must take after their father. In the next moment though, he saw the humour of the situation; Darcy's future relations would provide him with an ample supply of topics with which to tease his friend.
He noticed the way Jane's cheeks burned with embarrassment, but could do nothing to allay her fears.
"Lizzy will be a married woman, Lydia, and must listen to her husband. It is up to Mr. Darcy, but I highly doubt they will wish to entertain so soon after their nuptials." Jane said, clearly attempting to hush her sister.
Before Lydia or Kitty could say another word, Jane suggested a turn in the gardens, knowing Lydia and Kitty would decline the invitation.
Once outside, Elizabeth, Georgiana, and Darcy wandered off, leaving Jane and Lord Blakeslee alone but within sight. He was grateful for the reprieve. It was clear Jane had been embarrassed by her sisters and even her mother's earlier behaviour, but still held great affection for them. Her behaviour, and that of Miss Elizabeth, was always above reproach, but he speculated the remaining Bennet ladies would be ridiculed by members of his wider acquaintance. Whilst marriage to the Darcy family would improve their connections, it would take more than being in the path of a peer to inspire matrimonial sentiments towards the younger ones. Perhaps I should suggest Darcy put them all in school.
"Will you not be attending your sister's ball?" Lord Blakeslee asked.
"I am uncertain. My father has not mentioned it, though with the wedding, it is perhaps for the best he has not."
"May I take the opportunity to secure the first set with you, should you attend?"
Jane looked down at the ground bashfully. "I appreciate the compliment, milord, but it is not at all certain if I will attend. Surely, you would wish that set to remain open."
"Not at all, Miss Bennet. I would consider it an honour to reserve it for you. If you are unable to attend, then I shall sit out as well."
Her acceptance was gracious, if not as eager as he hoped, and he allowed her to change the topic to keep her comfortable with his presence. "I understand you will be standing up for Mr. Darcy, sir."
"I am. I have it on good authority that I am to share that responsibility with you."
"You are correct. I am to serve as Lizzy's witness." After an awkward moment of silence, Jane added, "It means a great deal to my sister to have such close friends of her fiancé present."
"I am only surprised not to see more members of the ton present for the leg-shackling of Fitzwilliam Darcy," he chuckled merrily, causing Jane to laugh lightly as well.
"I would remind you, sir, it is my dear sister to whom Mr. Darcy is being shackled," she admonished, but looked away, either uncomfortable at offering correction to him or amused at her own retort, he could not interpret why.
Lord Blakeslee returned a penitent look. "Forgive me. I meant no offence. I merely jest out of my own envy for my friend's happy situation."
Jane gave him an approving smile. "Very well, you are forgiven."
The two continued walking about in the garden, keeping an eye on the other two couples. Jane talked about Longbourn and Hertfordshire and plans for the wedding a bit more until it was declared time for their guests to depart.
Bingley walked through the rooms of the main house of the estate while the current owner's solicitor watched quietly from the edges. The house was a room or two smaller than Netherfield, but still a good size. It also had the advantage of only recently being abandoned, and therefore appeared quite modern in its designs.
Before lunch, they had toured the estate and the tenant homes. Unlike when he had leased Netherfield, he now felt he knew what to look for, and saw little to discourage him. For the most part, the homes looked well maintained. A few would be in need of a new roof in a couple years and another few were in need of some basic maintenance.
The gardens and paths of the estate had a little overgrowth, but nothing that could not be cleared in a day or two. The carriage house was in excellent shape, and the stables were large and could easily house a number of horses.
From what Bingley could see, unlike Netherfield, the estate would begin to return a handsome income almost immediately. A little extra effort, and he could increase the profits by a few hundred pounds a year.
The constant comparison to Netherfield gave Bingley some pause. What if Jane prefers to live near her family, near Longbourn? This estate was a two day trip from Longbourn, and a two day trip from Pemberley, and four days to Scarborough. In short, Jane would not be near any family. Perhaps I should look for something closer to Derbyshire. The idea of being closer to the Darcys appealed to him. Perhaps I should ask Jane where she would like to live. Then again, maybe she would prefer I make the decision. She did seem to enjoy the attention of Lord Blakeslee and Colonel Fitzwilliam; both of them were known for being resolute.
Bingley turned to the solicitor. "I will need a day to think on it." He handed over his card and said, "I will let you know of my decision."
With a bow, he left and returned to the inn.
Unexpectedly, he was greeted by the innkeeper who handed him an express. Recognizing his sister's handwriting, he dashed to his rooms to read the missive in private.
The time before the wedding left no one in want of something to do. Between Mrs. Bennet shouting instructions on the preparations, entertaining guests, and acting as chaperone for Elizabeth and Darcy, Jane had barely a moment to herself. Days were always fully planned, and by the evening, she was too tired to speak with Elizabeth, even if she wished it.
As might be expected, she spent a great deal of time in the presence of Lord Blakeslee.
He proved to be an entertaining companion. He often amused her with intriguing tales of mythology, his time spent abroad, and stories from town.
Much to her surprise, she even found herself in a few arguments with the man. They were never the great philosophical debates that Elizabeth would engage in, but they were debates none the less. Some revolved around musical preferences, others around favourite seasons or the preferences in the way a specific dish was prepared.
The liveliest discourse came over the topic of fox hunting. Jane mentioned she felt sorry for the fox and did not like the sport, despite knowing it was one of Lord Blakeslee's favourite pastimes.
Through these interactions, Jane discovered she was more determined than she ever imagined. She had a stubborn streak! More importantly, she was capable of standing up for herself and defending her opinions. She had always been quick to aid those she loved, but until now, when it came to herself, she rarely rallied. In a sense, she began to discover herself, rather than simply being the beautiful angel she had always been told she was.
During this time, she also learned a great deal more about Lord Blakeslee. He was a great deal like Darcy, though less reserved. In some ways, he reminded her of her own father. He laughed readily at the follies of others, and enjoyed making out people's characters. Unlike her father though, he did not cower from gatherings. He was a master at adapting to social settings and directing them when necessary.
He was kind, respectful, and loyal. He was well read and educated in a great number of topics. She enjoyed listening as he talked of things like the philosophy of Aristotle and Socrates, or the latest invention that would sweep the country. His latest passion, she learned, was Russian history and culture, which was sparked by Alexander I of Russia's victory in the Finnish War just a few years back.
Most of these discussions were a bit one sided - as Jane had very little to add - but she found the lectures intriguing. Lord Blakeslee was very gifted in the way he presented information.
She was glad Darcy had such a friend. She could easily imagine very engaging dinner conversations between Lizzy, Darcy, and Lord Blakeslee.
The more she learned of the man though, the more she wondered if she had read the nature of his attentions correctly. She had very little to offer someone like him. Surely he was expected to marry an heiress or the daughter of an earl, or perhaps even a marquess, she reasoned.
On one particular afternoon, just a few days before the wedding, Jane and Lord Blakeslee trailed Elizabeth, Darcy and Georgiana on a walk towards Hatfield Forest.
"Miss Bennet," Lord Blakeslee said, after being oddly quiet. "May I ask you a question of a more personal nature?"
Jane's stomach nervously fluttered. She looked down at the ground. "If I am able to answer milord, I shall."
Lord Blakeslee nodded and inhaled deeply. "Miss Bennet. I find myself at a crossroads, and am hoping you can help determine the path I should follow." They stopped in the middle of the road, both looking about nervously.
"I shall help in any manner I can." Jane replied, relieved her voice did not falter.
"Forgive me for being so forward, but I could not help notice your reaction to Mr. Bingley at the Granville ball. Darcy informed me he once thought you and Mr. Bingley might reach an understanding." He fidgeted with the walking stick in his hands. "Miss Bennet, you are a truly beautiful woman, and the type with whom a man such as me could easily find himself in love. My question is, do you still harbour feelings for Mr. Bingley?"
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
She did seem to welcome his attention. There were plenty of shy smiles and blushes. They seemed to be at ease with one another. He had also noticed a few times the way she smiled more brightly when he took a seat next to her. Did she do the same for Colonel Fitzwilliam though? Chapter Twenty-Four
Lanelle House, London
Elizabeth
Chapter Twenty-Five