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Chapter 15
Mr. Darcy soon recovered himself. He greeted Elizabeth with perfect civility, if not with perfect composure. Elizabeth returned his compliments with equal civility and they lapsed quickly into silence. Elizabeth suddenly realized that neither had removed their gaze from the other and she lowered her eyes, blushing deeply.
After they had stood before each for several moments without saying a word, Mr. Gardiner, who had been watching the couple with some bemusement from his seat in the dining, came forward and stood beside his niece.
"Good day to you, Mr. Darcy. I am delighted but, I must add, surprised to see you here. What brings you to these parts?"
Mr. Darcy explained, in what he hoped was a nonchalant manner, that he and his sister were accompanying Mr. Bingley to his estate in Herefordshire. Elizabeth was overpowered by astonishment at this statement and its implications. What could it mean? Was Mr. Bingley planning to resume his courtship of Jane, after all? And was Mr. Darcy actually supporting in this? Or could it be that Mr. Darcy was traveling to Hertfordshire for her sake? Did he wish to court her despite Lydia's deplorable behavior? "But of course," Elizabeth realized, recalling that she had specifically asked the colonel to say nothing except urgent business called them home, "Mr. Darcy knows nothing of Lydia's disgrace."
Elizabeth was grateful that her uncle continued to converse with Mr. Darcy. "I believe you said, Sir, that you were traveling with your sister and Mr. Bingley. Are they with you now?"
Darcy blushed almost as red a shade as Elizabeth. He had, in fact, all but forgotten his traveling companions. "They are waiting in the carriage for me to ascertain if there was an available dining room. I was informed by the innkeeper that you would be agreeable to us joining you for dinner, being as this is the only dining room in the establishment. Please tell me if this is imposition and we will make other arrangements." He looked rather anxiously at Elizabeth, who was looking unusually pale now that the blush had faded from her cheeks. He noticed with concern that there were dark shadows under her eyes.
"No imposition at all, Sir. Quite the contrary. We were expecting total strangers and had no objection, but now that we know that it is you who are to dine with us, we are pleased and honored indeed, is that not so, my dear?." Mr. Gardiner looked sideways at his niece as he spoke. He knew she was not in the most sociable of moods, but he felt the distraction of good company might do her some good, and in any event, civility demanded that they welcome Mr. Darcy and his party.
"Yes, we would be delighted for you to join us." she said, although Mr. Darcy, watching her closely, was not convinced that her sentiment entirely matched her words. She did not seem adverse to their company either, so he thanked them both and departed to collect the others.
As soon as Mr. Darcy had gone downstairs, Mr. Gardiner turned to his niece.
"Now, Lizzy, this is a fortunate circumstance. I know you are anxious to get home, and although Mrs. Gardiner is much better this afternoon, I am inclined to take the rest of the journey in very slow stages, especially if the heat holds up. I have been worried about causing you so much delay but now there is no need for worry. You can travel home with the Darcys, assuming they intend to go directly to Hertfordshire."
"But Uncle, I could not impose on them. They have not asked me to join their party."
"I have no doubt but that they will, Lizzy. They are kind people, you must admit." "And it's my opinion that Mr. Darcy would not refuse you anything," Mr. Gardiner added, to himself.
"Yes, but Uncle, you know the situation. I cannot tell them what has happened and I can scarcely travel all that way with them and refuse to discuss them why we left Lambton so suddenly, after we had accepted an engagement for an outing with them, too?" Elizabeth thought of Mr. Bingley and his propensity to ask questions about her family. Surely, it would be insupportable to be interrogated by Mr. Bingley, however kindly, about her family's affairs in the presence of Mr. Darcy.
"Perhaps, you should consider telling Mr. Darcy what has occurred, my dear; he seems to be a man who can counted upon to be discreet, and his council in this may be helpful. You told his cousin, after all, and he has proved to be most helpful. Mr. Darcy must know Mr. Wickham at least as well as his cousin does. And I would imagine that he has even more resources at his disposal with which to deal with that scoundrel, if he chose to, than Colonel Fitzwilliam. However, if you choose not to inform him, you could simply say that you are not comfortable discussing the situation. I am sure he would understand. In any event, you would be home much quicker this way."
Noise was heard on the stairs and soon, Mr. Bingley burst into the room followed by Mr. and Miss Darcy.
"I cannot tell you, Miss Bennet, how relieved I am to see you. We have been concerned for your welfare ever since we heard that you had troubling news from home." He stopped suddenly, and then started again. "I must ... forgive me, but I must enquire. Has any harm come to your family?"
Elizabeth and Mr. Gardiner exchanged a brief look. "No one in my family has suffered physical harm or illness, Sir, although a matter has occurred that concerns us all and demands my presence at home immediately. I am sorry but I can speak no further of the matter at present, for many reasons. I hope you will all forgive me for my reticence and also, for not keeping my engagement with you this morning."
"Of course." said Mr. Darcy, "We are glad to hear that no one is ill or injured. We will intrude no further on your privacy in this matter." He said, as he gave a quelling look to Mr. Bingley.
Georgiana stepped forward and Elizabeth instantly stretched her hand out to Georgiana who took it eagerly. After they had exchanged courtesies, Elizabeth beckoned Georgiana and the others to the table. "Please come and have a seat and I will pour out some lemonade, we have just received a fresh pitcher." Elizabeth busied herself pouring first Georgina, and then everyone a glass of lemonade.
Georgiana asked after Mrs. Gardiner and was told that she was resting.
"Is she ill?" asked Georgiana with concern."
"It is nothing serious, thank goodness," replied Elizabeth, "but she has not been feeling her best and has been resting all afternoon.
Mr. Gardiner took up the reins of conversation once more.
"I would like to join my niece in apologizing for not keeping our engagement with you to view the air balloon launch. Did you have the opportunity to observe it before you left this morning?"
Darcy looked greatly discomforted. "I am afraid not. There will be other opportunities, however, I am sure." He stole at his sister who looked quite remorseful. "She minds missing it more than I guessed," he thought, promising himself that he would do everything possible to make up it up to her.
Two maids arrived with trays groaning with food. After everyone had been served with the hearty looking fare, the question that had obsessed Darcy since he encountered Elizabeth today returned to the forefront of his mind. He thought that this was as opportune a time as any to raise it.
"I understand that my cousin was traveling with you. Is he not joining you for dinner?"
Mr. Gardiner glanced at his niece whose eyes were focused on her plate. "He left shortly before you arrived. He had important business in town. Since my wife, as Elizabeth explained, has been feeling a bit ill, we had to interrupt our travels indefinitely and he could not delay his business. I am sorry for the delay since my niece is anxious to get home to her family."
Darcy could scarcely believe what he was hearing. He had been sure that Fitzwilliam would take advantage of the situation to spend as much time as possible with Elizabeth. Darcy could not imagine what business Fitzwilliam could possibly have in London that would take him away from Elizabeth. "Perhaps, they had become engaged before he left and Fitzwilliam has gone onto London to secure a special license," he thought with dismay approaching horror. It did not seem likely however, that his cousin would propose to Elizabeth now when she was so obviously greatly fatigued and distressed. "Perhaps, she refused him, as she did me, and her distress is due, at least in part, to the fact that he did not take it well," Darcy speculated. If that was the case, he could almost feel sorry for his cousin, having first hand knowledge of the anguish caused by a rejection from Elizabeth. Then a compelling thought pierced his speculations. Elizabeth was anxious to get home, and he was traveling to Hertfordshire.
"Miss Bennet, it would be my pleasure to offer you a ride to Longbourn. We are traveling directly to Hertfordshire, so if you care to join us, you could be home tomorrow in the early afternoon."
Elizabeth hesitated. She felt that her uncle had been too obvious in his hints, leaving Mr. Darcy no choice but to make the invitation. The real reason for her hesitation, however, was the rush of emotions that overcrowded her when Mr. Darcy had made the invitation. An image flashed though her mind of him sitting directly across from her in that carriage, gazing at her with that soft, almost melting look he had sometimes had in Pemberley, and her chest constricted first with excitement, and then with distress as she recollected the entirety of her situation.
Elizabeth soon realized that Miss Darcy had joined her brother in the invitation to accompany them and everyone was waiting for her to respond. She was tempted to say no, but thoughts of her family drove her to acquiesce. Upon her acceptance of the offer, Darcy smiled so broadly for an instant that his whole countenance lit up. Elizabeth gazed at him for a moment and then looked away. "I will try to avoid Mr. Darcy as much as possible on the journey," she thought to herself.
As soon as dinner was over, Lizzy made a quick visit to her aunt to assure herself that her aunt could spare her for the remainder of the journey. Aunt Gardiner assured her that she would be fine without Lizzy's ministrations and, in fact, she would rest much easier knowing that Lizzy would be home quickly.
"And you must admit it will be no hardship to ride in the Darcys' carriage," said her aunt, "remember when we rode in it to Pemberley, how luxurious we found it." Elizabeth murmured a reply, thinking that her aunt could possibly have no conception of what a hardship it would be to travel for hours and hours in a close carriage in Mr. Darcy's close company, knowing that there was no hope for anything beyond friendship between them, even if they both should desire otherwise. "Even friendship with Mr. Darcy and his sister will be impossible now, once they learn the whole truth," she reasoned, sadly.
The carriage ride for the remainder of the day, turned out to be far less awkward than Elizabeth had anticipated. No one made further inquiries regarding the nature of the business that had called Elizabeth home. Although, she was extremely curious to know why her companions were traveling so suddenly to Hertfordshire themselves, she felt it was not courteous to question them since she had refused to provide similar information herself. She had hoped that they would volunteer the purpose for their travels but they did not.
Miss Darcy, Mr. Bingley and Elizabeth talked casually of this and that. Initially, they talked largely of inconsequential things, such as heat and the sheep and church spires they passed. Their conversation eventually drifted to the arts. Elizabeth and Georgiana soon discovered that they shared similar tastes in literature and drama, in addition to music. Georgiana had read almost as many books and seen far more plays than Elizabeth had. What surprised Elizabeth even more was that Georgiana had not been sheltered in the content of her reading, and had read a number of books that many people of society would find inappropriate for young ladies. Mr. Bingley, as Elizabeth had earlier suspected, did not have much patience for reading or much aptitude for appreciating the distinction in various musical or dramatic performances, but he seemed to enjoy hearing others talk about such things. He frequently interjected the ladies' conversation with comments, such as: "I will be sure to [see or watch or read] that [book, poem, play, or piece of music], you make it sound so intriguing. I know I would enjoy it."
Throughout this conversation, Mr. Darcy, who was seated across from his sister and next to Mr. Bingley, was primarily silent but seemed to be listening intently. He occasionally made little murmurs of acquiescence or dissent during the discussion of a specific literary or dramatic works, but he always seemed to stay on the outskirts of the conversation. Elizabeth tried to avoid meeting his gaze, but every now and then, her eyes would search his out as if they drawn to his as of a will of their own. His eyes did not have the soft, open look she had been fearful of encountering; instead, his look was polite but shuttered, as if he was carefully guarding against revealing any genuine emotions.
Although Mr. Darcy's restraint was exactly what Elizabeth had wished for when she agreed to join them in their travels, as dusk approached, she found herself perversely wishing for Mr. Darcy's guard to slip. She wanted, once more, to glimpse the strong emotions that she sensed lurked behind his shuttered gaze. This never happened.
Just before dark descended, the carriage pulled up at their destination, a very elegant looking establishment that had a discreet sign, advertising "accommodations for gentlemen and ladies." Darcy helped his sister down from carriage, leaving Mr. Bingley to assist Elizabeth down.
Once they were inside the cream colored sitting room of their suite of rooms, Mr. Darcy offered Miss Bennet a glass of the port that was awaiting them on the sideboard. Elizabeth refused and said she believed that she would retire immediately. Something that might have been disappointment showed briefly in Darcy's expression.
"Very well, Miss Bennet. I hope that you do not mind sharing a room with my sister. There are no other suitable rooms available, but the room is quite spacious." Elizabeth assured him that she did not mind in the least. Georgiana, being very familiar with the inn, pointed out the door to their room and said that she would join her soon.
"I bid you good night, Miss Bennet," Darcy said with a formal bow.
As Elizabeth bid him good night in return, her eyes, once again, met his almost involuntarily. This time, however, she caught Darcy completely off guard. Although he said nothing to her, his look was passionate and silently expressed what he had spoken to her in Kent, "You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you." She felt as dismayed by this silent expression of love as she had by the earlier spoken one, but for entirely different reasons. She turned abruptly away and hurried towards the room that Georgiana had pointed out as theirs. In her haste to escape Mr. Darcy's presence, she had neglected to bring a candle to light her way. The bedroom as she entered it was as dim and gloomy as the remainder of her life promised to be.
Chapter 16
Elizabeth and Georgiana lay together in bed. The experience was entirely new for Georgiana, and she had no idea how to behave in this novel situation. She decided it was best to lie as far as possible from Elizabeth. Elizabeth looked over at the girl and smiled despite her dark mood. Georgiana was lying so close to the edge of the bed that she looked in danger of tumbling off.
"Miss Darcy, please move away from the edge of the bed; I fear your brother would never forgive me if I allowed you to fall onto the floor. Do not worry, I do not bite or scratch."
Georgiana spun around to face Elizabeth, an alarmed look on her face. "Oh no, Miss Bennet, I did not mean to imply that you would. It is just that I have never shared a bed with anyone before."
"I am sorry to have caused you discomfort. Perhaps, if we ask the innkeeper, they could bring up a cot for me to sleep on, there is plenty of room here in which to set one up; or if there are extra blankets, I could make up a bed on the floor. I am quite comfortable sleeping anywhere."
Georgiana sat up in bed, looking more alarmed than she had before. "Please, Miss Bennet, do not even speak of such a thing. I do not mind at all sharing the bed with you. In fact, I have been looking forward to it all afternoon. I always imagined if I had a sister, we would share a bed like this and we could whisper together for hours before falling asleep."
The longing in Georgiana's voice touched Elizabeth. "Well then, if we are going to whisper together in bed, you must move a little closer to the middle. Otherwise, I will hear less than half of what you say and our conversation will be very odd indeed."
Georgiana laughed softly and lay back down. She rolled slightly away from the edge of the bed. "And may we call each other by our first names? I have been wanting to do so since I first met you."
"Yes, indeed." Elizabeth responded. "We can hardly whisper silly nothings together in bed and call each other Miss Bennet and Miss Darcy. After all sisters would never do such a thing. It would be most improper."
Georgiana laughed again and Elizabeth briefly laughed with her. Elizabeth's heart felt lighter than it had in days. She did not comprehend the full nature or extent of what she felt for Mr. Darcy or Colonel Fitzwilliam, or what they felt for her; those feelings were too complex and too removed from her everyday emotions to be recognizable. But the warm but slightly giddy feeling she felt laughing at some private joke with someone of her own sex was wonderfully familiar to her. It felt like home. She realized that, as hard as life seemed right now, how fortunate she was to have so many sisters. It was ironic that she should think this now when it was one of her sisters that were the cause of her misfortune, but if she had no sisters at all, how much worse life would be. She had always had Jane to soothe and comfort her, and the company of her three younger sisters, although maddening at times, had brought her much joy over the years. She remembered how Lydia and Kitty would throw their heads back and shriek with sheer happiness when she pushed them on the swing, and how Mary's eyes would light up when anyone complimented her on her playing.
She looked over at Georgiana who was smiling shyly at her in the flickering candlelight. Elizabeth thought of how hard it must be for Georgiana to go through life with not even one sister. She did not seem to have even a close female friend near her own age. Elizabeth realized, in particular, how hard it must have been for her to go through the experience she had gone through with Wickham last summer without a sister to confide in. Elizabeth determined to put her own troubles aside for the night and give Georgiana some of the sisterly companionship that she seemed to crave. Elizabeth was desirous of such companionship herself; in the candlelight, Georgiana's blonde hair and sweet expression reminded her so much of Jane.
"I am glad of your company, Georgiana. I must confess I am missing my sisters dreadfully, especially my sister Jane. You remind me of her a bit. She, too, has fair hair and brown eyes and she has your same sweet nature."
Georgiana blushed with the compliment. "I wish that were true, but it is not. Oh no, I did not mean your sister, I am sure she is sweet natured, but I am nothing of the sort. I can be very stubborn and selfish, really, although I am trying to improve."
"Is that so? What was the last selfish thing that you did?" Elizabeth asked with a teasing lilt to her voice.
Georgiana furrowed her brow; Elizabeth thought she looked remarkably like her brother when she did so. "It was very selfish. This morning as we were traveling, I saw the hot air balloon in the air this morning out the carriage window. I watched it until it disappeared and I never said a word about it to either my brother or Mr. Bingley."
"Why not?"
"They both looked so wretched at the time, I thought they would not be impressed with the sight. I could not bear for them to spoil my pleasure by not enjoying it. I feel so terribly mean spirited for not saying anything."
"I might have done the same thing under similar circumstances. I do not believe there is anything wrong with savoring a wondrous sight on your own if you feel that others will not appreciate it."
Georgiana moved a little closer to Elizabeth, "I am so glad that you understand. It was on my conscience all day. But I should not burden you with my worries when you have troubles of your own. "
Elizabeth grimaced. "I do not want to think of my own troubles at this moment, much less speak of them. I would prefer to speak of your worries. It is so much easier to think about other people's problems than our own, is it not?"
"Yes, I suppose that is true. Unless you care about the people who have troubles and then their miseries are yours."
Elizabeth sighed. "Ah yes; speaking of that, you said just now that your brother and Mr. Bingley looked wretched this morning. Do you know the reason for their distress?"
Georgiana looked uneasy and bit her lower lip slightly. "They did not confide in me, but I feel sure that your sudden departure was behind it. It was clear to all of us that something disastrous must have happened to make you leave so abruptly, and your aunt told Mr. Bingley that you had received distressing news from home. It is plain to see that Mr. Bingley has strong feelings for your sister. He has been in great agitation ever since he returned from Lambton. And my brother." Georgiana paused, she hoped that her brother could forgive her for what she was about to say; but she felt that it must be said.
"My brother has passionate feelings for you, Elizabeth. I have never seen him like this before; he was so happy when he was with you in Lambton and in Pemberley. When you left, he was in a monstrous state. I believe he even scared Miss Bingley away with his black mood."
Elizabeth's heart started pounding; she felt that Georgiana could surely hear it. She latched onto Georgina's statement about Miss Bingley.
"I can scarcely imagine that Mr. Darcy could do anything that would frighten Miss Bingley away. He must have been in an abominable mood, indeed. Where did she go? I have been wondering what happened to her and the Hursts."
Georgiana looked intently at Elizabeth. "They went to Scotland quite suddenly, but I do not want to talk about Miss Bingley. There! I told you I was selfish. I want to talk about you and my brother. Oh Elizabeth, I do not want to add to your worries. But, I am convinced my brother could assist you; no matter what it is that troubles you, he could make things better. He is so terribly kind and sweet natured. You have no idea. He is more like you describe your sister Jane than I am. Something terrible happened to me last summer, and if it had not been for my brother, I could not have survived it."
Georgiana realized that she was babbling, but she could not stop herself.
"Please, Elizabeth, please confide in my brother. I am convinced you would be glad for it and it would such a comfort to him to be of assistance to you. He cares for you so much. He would do anything for you, I am sure of it."
Elizabeth turned her face into the pillow for a moment. Georgiana had not told her anything that she had not already gathered herself, but to hear Mr. Darcy's sister speak of his feelings for her out loud was almost unbearable. She realized, however, that Georgiana was right; she must confide everything to Mr. Darcy. Not that it would bring any solace to her or to him, but because it would spare him and Georgiana future pain. She knew that the truth about Lydia would eventually become known to them, and it would happen sooner rather than later if they stayed at Netherfield for any length of time. She could not bear for Georgiana or her brother to hear the news from a stranger. It was better that she tell Mr. Darcy so he could break the news gently to his sister. She briefly contemplated telling Georgiana about Lydia herself, but decided that it was better that the news come from Mr. Darcy. She also felt that she owed it to Mr. Darcy to tell him the news of her conditional engagement herself, rather than hear it from his cousin. How she was going to broach the subject with Mr.. Darcy, however, she did not know.
She turned back to Georgiana. "You are right, I will talk to your brother tomorrow."
Elizabeth reached out and impulsively squeezed Georgiana's hand.
Georgiana clasped Elizabeth's hand in both her own. "Oh Elizabeth, I am so glad that we are friends. If there is anything I can do to help you myself, you have only to ask me."
"I would love to have an opportunity to converse with your brother for a few moments alone in the morning. Could you help me arrange that?"
"Oh yes, that can be accomplished very easily. Mr. Bingley is a very late riser, and I can stay out of your way before breakfast."
"Now that we have a plan of sorts," said Elizabeth, "I believe we must make some effort to sleep. Sometimes, my sister Jane and I sing softly to each other in bed to make ourselves sleepy. Would you sing a song for me?"
Georgiana softly sang about two canaries that became separated and searched far and wide for each other. It was a sweet song with a monotonous chorus; Elizabeth was fast asleep before the last verse.
Bingley snored with the same degree of energy that he did everything else. On the other occasion in which Darcy had had to share a room with Bingley, he had been entertained by the enthusiastic bursts of sound erupting from his sleeping friend. Tonight, however, Darcy was not amused. Putting on his dressing gown, he grabbed a candle and walked into the sitting room. He sat down at the writing desk and stared at the bottle of ink there. Owing to the fact that he had left Pemberley so quickly, he had several letters to write to his steward. He found, however, that he could not concentrate on business. He stood up again and began to pace the room. His pacing took him near the door of the room that his sister was sharing with Elizabeth Bennet. He heard the soft murmur of feminine voices coming from their room. He walked quickly to the other side of the room before he succumbed to the temptation to eavesdrop.
He stood in front of the mantle and stared at the bonnet lying there. It was Elizabeth's bonnet; lying neatly inside the bonnet was a pair of thin cotton gloves. He picked one up and held it in his hands. The glove looked so small resting in his hand. For many months now, Elizabeth held such a large place in his heart and mind that he often forgot how small and delicate she actually was. He stared at the glove for a few moments before placing it back inside the bonnet.
Darcy sat back down at the writing desk and took up the quill pen. He put the pen to paper and paused; he looked over at Elizabeth's bonnet. Then, bending his head over the paper, he swiftly filled a sheet of paper. When he was finished, he carefully folded the paper in half. He walked over to Elizabeth's bonnet, and carefully deposited the letter in the bonnet underneath the pair of gloves. Then he went back to bed.
Chapter 17
August 8, 1812
Elizabeth, accustomed to rising before anyone else in her household, was surprised to find herself alone when she awoke. She dressed quickly and went into the inn's sitting room. Mr. Darcy was sitting there by himself staring unaccountably at her bonnet, which she had left on the table the night before. He started slightly and rose to his feet when she entered the room.
"Good morning, Sir. Your sister has risen before me. Do you know where she is?"
"She likes to practice her music in the morning. There is a fine pianoforte downstairs that the innkeepers reserve for my sister's private use whenever we stay here. She has just gone downstairs to start her practice."
"Ah. And Mr. Bingley, has he risen yet?"
Darcy smiled slightly. "Mr. Bingley would sleep half the day away if anyone would allow him to. He has asked to be woken up five minutes before breakfast is served, and not a minute more."
Elizabeth sat down. At that moment, the sound of Mozart could be heard wafting up the stairs. "Your sister plays beautifully, and she is delightful company. I am very happy to make her acquaintance."
"I was certain that you would get along well together."
"Yes." Elizabeth took a breath. Confessing everything to Mr. Darcy was a more daunting task than she had imagined.
"Mr. Darcy, you must have wondered why I left Derbyshire so precipitously."
Darcy nodded solemnly.
"It is a difficult matter to discuss, but I must do so. For your sister's sake, if for nothing else."
Darcy started again and stared at Elizabeth. "My sister? I do not understand what your leaving so suddenly has to do with Georgiana."
Elizabeth stared at a fixed spot on Mr. Darcy's cravat. "My youngest sister Lydia was staying in Brighton with Colonel Forster and his wife. George Wickham was stationed there and apparently was much in the company of my sister. My sister Jane informs me that he and Lydia ran off together. They have not gone to Scotland." Her voice faltered for a moment. "My family believes that they are in London."
Darcy furrowed his brow. "I am grieved indeed, for your entire family. But is it certain, absolutely certain?"
"Oh yes," Elizabeth could not meet Mr. Darcy's eyes. "It appears that Lydia left a note for Mrs. Forster detailing her arrangements with Mr. Wickham. They have been traced to London but not beyond."
Darcy started pacing the room. "And what has been done to recover her?"
"My father has gone to London to search for her. My Uncle Gardiner will join him in the search as soon as he returns to town." Elizabeth paused and looked, for the first time, directly at Darcy. "Colonel Fitzwilliam has gone to search for them, as well. He feels confident, given his knowledge of Mr. Wickham, that he can locate them."
Darcy stopped short in the middle of a turn about the room. "My cousin?"
Elizabeth nodded.
"You have confided everything in him, I see." There was an edge to Darcy's voice that had not been there earlier.
"Yes."
"It is safe to assume, then, that you have an understanding with him?"
Elizabeth turned her face away for a moment. "I do."
"You are engaged to be married to my cousin?"
"I have informed Colonel Fitzwilliam that I will not enter into an engagement with him unless Mr. Wickham can be prevailed upon to marry my sister. I will not subject Colonel Fitzwilliam to scandal. I could not contemplate marrying anyone unless Lydia's reputation is restored to some degree."
Darcy turned and faced her squarely. She was shocked by his expression; the disturbance of his mind was visible in every feature. She closed her eyes for a moment to escape the sight of him.
"Is this the real reason why you refused my proposal in Kent? You had an attachment to my cousin, even then?"
Elizabeth eyes flew open. "That is not true. You know very well why I refused you. Do not make me repeat those sentiments."
"You would repeat those sentiments, even now? I had foolishly thought that since Kent you have softened your opinion towards me. I see that I was mistaken."
"You were not mistaken, Sir. My feelings to you did change, at least until I learned how you conspired with Miss Bingley to deceive my sister."
"I may have conspired to deceive Bingley about your sister's whereabouts, but I have never been part of a conspiracy to deceive your sister."
"Miss Bingley led my sister to believe that her brother knew of Jane's presence in London and deliberately chose to shun her. Her belief in his purposeful avoidance of her was a source of great pain to Jane. I understood from your comments at Pemberley that you encouraged Miss Bingley in this deceit."
"Miss Bingley acted alone in that deceit. I knew nothing of it."
Elizabeth looked at Mr. Darcy for a moment. The truth was that she did believe him. Before she had a chance to tell Mr. Darcy this, he continued on in an agitated manner.
"You would do well, madam, to speak no more of deceit. You have allowed me to believe this past week that your heart was unattached to another. You even led me to hope that you might return my feelings, when all along your affections were engaged to my cousin."
"I have done nothing that was dishonest or deceitful. My heart was not engaged when I met you again in Derbyshire. I have not misled you in any way." Realizing that she said more than she ought, Elizabeth stood up and faced Mr. Darcy.
"When did you enter into an understanding with my cousin?"
"Yesterday." Even as she said it, Elizabeth could scarcely believe that it was only one day ago that the colonel had proposed to her.
Darcy wheeled around and looked at her incredulously. "There was no understanding between you until yesterday? You expect me to believe that cousin proposed to you while you were reeling from the shock and distress of learning of your sister's situation."
Elizabeth could not look at him. She remained silent.
"And you accuse me of selfish disdain for the feelings of others?" Darcy continued.
Elizabeth assumed a tone of cold civility. "If you are implying that Colonel Fitzwilliam is selfish, that is not true. He has been everything that is kind. He has given me reason to hope that my sister is not lost to us forever. He has provided me comfort me when I needed it most."
"He has pressed his suit at a time when you were suffering from great distress. He has preyed upon your vulnerable state." There was venom in Darcy's voice when he spoke.
Elizabeth replied in an equally contemptuous tone. "At least, he did something other than berate me and insult me when I was in an emotionally vulnerable state. At least, he did not attack my own character and that of one of his own closest relatives."
Darcy's complexion became pale, first from anger, and then from mortification.
"I find, madam, that there is nothing more to say. I will leave you now." He turned abruptly and left the room.
Elizabeth stood in the room with her chest heaving with indignation. "How could I have forgotten how insufferable he is," she thought. "How can I possibly breakfast with him, much less spend the rest of the morning traveling in his company."
Her eyes darted wildly about the room and landed on her bonnet. She decided that going for a walk would soothe her nerves. She snatched up her bonnet and reached inside it to retrieve her gloves. Her hand felt something cold and hard at the bottom. She pulled out the object and stared at it. It was an envelope of the finest paper and scrawled on it in an unmistakable hand was her name. She quickly opened the letter and read its contents, which were as follows:
Dear Miss Bennet,I must beg your pardon for the freedom I am taking, once again, in writing to you. It is not my wish to force communications from you; nor is it my wish to pry into your personal affairs. It is clear, however, that you are suffering no small amount of emotional disturbance, and I cannot sit idly by and observe your distress. If there is anything, no matter how great or small, that I can do to lessen your suffering, you have only to ask. If you choose to accept my offer of assistance, please rest assured that I expect nothing in return, except the honor of being of service to someone I hold in the greatest affection and esteem.
Yours etc,
Fitzwilliam Darcy
She had just finished reading the letter, and had started reading it a second time, when a noise at the door caught her attention. She looked up from the letter and saw Mr. Darcy stride back into the room. He did not stop until he stood within an inch of her.
"Forgive me," he said.
He was so close to her; too close for her comfort. She took a step backwards to put some distance between them.
"If there is anything I can do for you, anything at all," he murmured.
She took two small steps forward and found herself suddenly in the arms of Mr. Darcy. Her arms clutched him tightly for a moment and then relaxed. She closed her eyes, and felt him kiss her eyelids. Her eyes flew open and met his; she had never looked at someone so closely before. It was almost as if she was looking inside of him, instead of merely looking at him. Before her mind could register this new experience, he leaned down further still and kissed her, or perhaps, she kissed him; it was impossible to say who was responsible for the joining of their lips. All she knew was that their lips made contact and then clung together. Then his mouth opened slightly and she got a brief taste of him. The sensation was so heady, she almost laughed. He made a small sound in the back of his throat that might have been laughter, or could have been something else entirely. It was this small noise that suddenly brought Elizabeth to her senses. She quickly extricated herself from his arms and stepped back, not taking her eyes off of his face.
"We have forgotten ourselves, Mr. Darcy." She said quietly. "It must never happen again."
"You cannot disregard what just happened, and I certainly will not. You must marry me."
"Marriage between us is unthinkable. You know this as well as I do."
Darcy did laugh then, a harsh, joyless laugh. "Unthinkable? It is almost all that I think about. There are some small complications, yes, but they can all be resolved in our favor."
"My sister's ruined reputation, my understanding with your cousin - you call these small complications, sir? And then there is our tendency to quarrel whenever we are alone, to say nothing about your concerns regarding our difference in station."
Darcy started to speak and Elizabeth made a gesture to silence him.
"No, I beg you. Since you have offered to grant me any assistance I require, I ask this: Please forget what has just occurred between us and do not say anything more ever again on the subject of marriage between us. That is all I ask. I am going for a walk now, I will be back for breakfast." Clutching her bonnet in one hand, and Mr. Darcy's letter in the other, Elizabeth ran out of the room.
With Elizabeth's words still ringing in his ears, Darcy wheeled around and started after her. He found Elizabeth in the hallway with Bingley. Bingley was haphazardly dressed, no doubt the effect of traveling without a valet. He immediately advanced upon Darcy and shook his hand warmly.
"I was just about to congratulate Miss Elizabeth and now I can congratulate you both. I think you are perfectly suited for each other. I was surprised and mortified just now, I can assure you, when I interrupted you. I am sorry to have disturbed your privacy, but I am overjoyed. I do not remember when I have been more pleased by news of an engagement."
Darcy stared at his friend and then dared to look at Elizabeth. He could not discern what she was thinking from her expression. Darcy turned back to Bingley.
"We are not formally engaged. Please do not announce this to anyone, not even to my sister, until you hear further from me or Miss Elizabeth."
Bingley nodded enthusiastically. "Of course. You will want to talk to Miss Elizabeth's father first. I completely understand." Bingley lingered in the hallway grinning alternatively at Elizabeth and Darcy. Darcy and Elizabeth were too busy exchanging mutually incomprehensible looks to respond to him.
Bingley cleared his throat and adjusted his clumsily tied neck cloth. "I came to tell you that breakfast is being served downstairs. Are you coming down?"
"We will join you momentarily. May I have a moment alone with Miss Elizabeth first?"
Bingley nodded and disappeared down the stairs at lightening speed. Elizabeth and Darcy were left facing each other in the narrow hallway. Elizabeth looked beyond Darcy to the walls and noticed, for the first time, that there was a pattern of cabbage roses in a hideous shade of pink embossed on the wall covering. She knew that, whatever else happened in her life, she would never forget that moment or that particular color.
Darcy gestured towards the open door, and Elizabeth walked back into the parlor. Darcy shut the door firmly behind them, and then leaned on the door as if for physical support. He was certain that Elizabeth would be incensed with him for implying to Bingley that they were informally engaged and he braced himself for her retribution. He was thus caught unprepared by her first words.
"In case you are wondering, I did not tell Mr. Bingley that we were engaged, but I suppose this is a case where one could think that actions speak louder than words. We have been found out, it seems."
Darcy could hardly believe what he had just heard. He could only think of one plausible interpretation for her words - that their intimate embrace moments earlier bespoke a mutual commitment to marry on their part. This interpretation seemed entire because it matched his own sentiments so precisely. Knowing Elizabeth, however, and considering her earlier request of him, he was wary about assuming this interpretation was the correct one. He diplomatically refrained from saying anything, hoping Elizabeth would say something that further elucidated her feelings.
Elizabeth started pacing about the room, reminding Darcy of his own agitation earlier in the morning. "Before yesterday, I might have said that it was only possible to be wholly engaged to a man; either a woman is engaged to a man, I always thought, or she is not. There seemed to be nothing in between. I might also have said that it was impossible to be engaged to more than one man. I find, however, that I am in the unusual situation of being practically engaged to two different men, in the midst of family circumstances which make entering into any kind of engagement improper. What say you, Mr. Darcy? Am I not in a most interesting predicament?"
To Darcy's surprise and relief, Elizabeth's expression was amused and playful. Knowing that it was probable that his future happiness depended on his next choice of words, Darcy steeled himself to overcome his apprehension and adopt an equally playful tone.
"It is a very interesting circumstance, although, not quite as interesting as the predicament you found yourself in when Mr. Bingley apparently interrupted us." He waited with baited breath for Elizabeth's reaction to this brazen remark.
Elizabeth looked at him with amazement, and he smiled at her shyly. She laughed gaily.
"I believe that you are correct, Sir. It has been a thoroughly astonishing morning, all around. We have much to sort out before we involve ourselves, and all sorts of other people, in even more curious predicaments. I suggest that we discuss this further after we reach Hertfordshire and have had more time to contemplate our options."
Darcy nodded. "I agree." Then, he bowed to Elizabeth and held out his arm to her in his most courtly manner. "Shall we have our breakfast now, Miss Elizabeth?"
She placed her hand on his arm and allowed him to lead her out of the room.
As they entered the hallway, Darcy asked softly, "How do you propose we ensure that we have the necessary privacy to discuss this matter?"
"You know my habits, sir. If you care to walk out early tomorrow morning, you are likely to find me within the half hour after dawn on Belfry Lane."
"Very well." With that short phrase, Darcy agreed to the assignation that could prove to be the most important of his life.
Chapter 18
August 8, 1812
Saddle sore and exhausted, Colonel Fitzwilliam dismounted from his horse in front of his friend's townhouse and led his horse to the adjacent stables. He was in an irritable mood, and his stomach was growling from hunger.
"Is Mr. Shelby at home?" He asked the stable hand who was brushing down one of the horses.
"Yes, Sir. Shall I put up your horse?"
The colonel gestured his acquiescence and strode off. He was relieved to find his friend at home. There were many other places he could stay in London, but there was no place he would rather be than Shelby's home. "Except in Elizabeth's arms," he thought smugly.
Porkhost, Shelby's wooden faced butler, nodded stiffly at the colonel and immediately led the colonel to his friend's study. Although it was noon, the colonel was not surprised to see Shelby still in his dressing gown. Shelby had a cup of coffee in one hand and a cigar in another. He leapt to his feet when he spotted the colonel.
"Fitz! I was wondering when you were going to show your face. I was starting to fear you were not going to show up at all. I have got exciting news for you. Deuced exciting!"
"I have some exciting news of my own." The colonel turned to Porkhost who still hovered at the door of the study.
"Tea and toast, Sir?" asked the butler, anticipating the colonel's request.
"You know me too well Porkhost. A bit of ham too, would be appreciated, and anything else you have on hand."
When Porkhost had departed, pulling the door shut behind him, the colonel turned to his friend.
"Out with it, Shel. You tell me your thrilling news and then I will tell you mine."
The colonel sank to a chair opposite Shelby and put his feet up on the desk. Shelby got a good look at him for the first time.
"Good god, what has happened to you? You look bloody knackered."
"I have been riding since before sunrise without rest or refreshment. I will be fine in a moment. Talk to me, while I catch my breath."
"Riding at all hours of the morning, eh? That reminds of a hunting story I recently heard involving Gerald Dixon - he is Lord Seaton now, you know - and his cousins; it is really too funny." Shelby embarked on a rambling tale about people that Fitz had only vaguely heard of before and had no interest in whatsoever. He was too tired and hungry to interrupt his friend, however.
Just then, Porkhost, after two sharp knocks, entered the room with a tray bearing a teapot, teacup and a virtual cornucopia of food. The colonel was amazed, as always, at the alacrity with which the poker-faced butler fulfilled orders.
The colonel attacked his food with single-minded preoccupation, while his friend continued to relate his tedious hunting story. When he had eaten enough to take off the edge of his hunger, and poured himself a cup of tea, the colonel turned to Shelby.
"All right, enough of that. Tell me your bloody interesting news, Shel, or I'll strangle you with my riding crop."
Shelby made a hooting noise and dropped his cigar on the floor. "That's right, my news! I almost forgot. Well, you know how you are always asking around about George Wickham? I have recently made the acquaintance of a lady, well, not quite a lady anymore, perhaps, but a woman, certainly. She knows Wickham intimately; or rather, she did know him intimately. He used her badly it seems and she is out to have revenge on him."
The colonel, who had just taken a large gulp of his tea, sputtered as the burning liquid went down his throat. Shelby leaped up and obligingly pounded on Fitz's back which only managed to add to his physical discomfort. Before he had fully recovered, Fitz noticed a burning smell.
"Bloody hell, Shelby. You dropped your cigar on the floor, again. Pick it up at once or you will burn down the whole house."
Shelby bent down and picked up his cigar, put it out quickly and tossed it on his desk. Then he nonchalantly stomped out the smoking ember on the rug.
"I did start a bit of a fire in here last month, but, luckily, Porkhost was on hand to put it out. He was remarkably peeved with me afterwards, too. You should be glad you have never seen Porkhost when he is peeved. Deuced unpleasant, I can tell you. I do not know, sometimes, how I put up with the man."
The colonel waved a piece of ham frantically at his friend. "Would you get on with the news about Wickham?"
"Yes, well, you remember Digby?"
Colonel Fitzwilliam had no idea who Digby was but he did not dare interrupt his friend lest he go off on some tangent again. He nodded and gestured impatiently for Shelby to continue. Shelby paused to light another cigar.
"Digby has taken up with a new woman, Cecilia Windfield. He is quite smitten with her, too; I've never seen him so wrapped up in anyone besides himself. He is keeping her in a fine manner. Very fine, considering he met her in a brothel - Madame Couchet's, you know the place. She worked there for a bit after she was involved in a scandal. It seems that she eloped with George Wickham, and then he refused to marry her. Her family threw her out and she was left with nothing but the clothes she was wearing, and they were not her best clothes, either. Digby and Miss Windfield are determined to get revenge on Wickham. I do not blame them, terrible thing, you know, ruining a young lady like that."
"When did Wickham run off with Miss Windfield?"
"I have no idea. You can ask her yourself. We are going to go see them tonight. Digby is always having people over to the house he keeps for her. They have a plan in mind for Wickham, but Digby has not told me the details yet. We got interrupted in the club, you know, Lord Bilton came in and he was..." Shelby paused for a moment, aware that Fitz was scowling at him. "Well, that's another story. I thought you would want to be in on it, the plan for Wickham, I mean, seeing as you want some revenge on the rascal yourself."
"I do indeed want to meet Miss Windfield, and I am anxious to hear about this plan; the sooner the better." The colonel took one last sip of his tea and then pushed the tray aside. He leaned further back in his chair and grinned at his friend.
"Shall I tell you my news now, Shel?"
"By all means, I have been wondering what you have been up to. I have not heard a word from you in weeks, most unusual, really. I was just saying so to Chesterfield the other day. Well, get on with it, tell me your news."
"Hold on to your cigar, my dear Shelby. I have fallen in love and I am engaged to marry the lady. All I have to do to accomplish this is to get her sister to marry George Wickham. Wickham has run off with the sister and they are believed to be hiding out here in London."
Not sure which of these astonishing bits of news to react to first, Shelby jumped up and thumped the colonel on the shoulder. "Good god, Fitz! Your news out trumps mine. It is a deuce of a coincidence, too, if you ask me. I think this calls for some brandy. Now, if I can only get Porkhost to tell me where he hid the brandy dispenser."
After a few more slaps on the colonel's already sore shoulders, Shelby dashed off to find Porkhost. The colonel poured himself another cup of tea. He was feeling remarkably better.
The house was full of people. The colonel knew several of them by sight, but none of them particularly well. His attention was immediately drawn to a woman in the center of the room who was wearing a brilliant canary yellow gown. While not exactly pretty, she had the type of dramatically curvaceous figure that most men found irresistible. But it was her jewels, not her figure, that drew the colonel's eye. He knew that it was fashionable to give one's mistress baubles, the value of which served to flaunt a man's wealth as well to please his woman. Judging from the heft and sparkle of diamonds dangling from her ears and surrounding her long neck, this woman's patron was both excessively wealthy and eager to please his mistress.
He stood for a while watching the woman and the people that gathered around her. Glasses of champagne and punch and other refreshments circled around the room, and most people at the party were well on the road to complete inebriation. The colonel observed one man deliberately pouring champagne down the front of a woman's dress to the uproarious laughter of those around him and the woman herself. Although, he had been to this type of party before and enjoyed himself, tonight he found these antics distasteful. Perhaps, he was too exhausted this evening to be amused; or maybe, he thought wryly, being in love had changed him.
In any event, the colonel was too preoccupied to pay close attention to his surroundings. He had spent the whole afternoon tracking down George Wickham. Using all of the information that he had gathered on Wickham during the past year, he had made a tour of all of Wickham's London haunts. After three hours of trudging from one gaming hell or tavern to another asking if anyone had seen his "old friend, George Wickham", he had gotten information that Wickham was staying in a rooming house on Barrow Alley, one of the roughest parts of town. He had spent the past hour wandering down Barrow Alley striking up conversations with the various denizens who approached him for a hand out. He had thus learned that a man answering Wickham's description and a pretty young gel had moved into the largest and shabbiest rooming house on the street six days earlier.
After a brief and expensive conversation with the woman who ran the rooming house, the colonel was convinced that he had indeed located Wickham and Lydia Bennet. Finding Wickham had been easier than the colonel had anticipated. Now, came the hard part, convincing Wickham to marry Elizabeth's sister. The colonel knew he would need all the help he could get with this endeavor, which is why he was here at the house of Digby and his mistress.
Colonel Fitzwilliam eyes returned to the woman in yellow. The men who swarmed around her appeared to treat her with great deference and respect. He guessed that she was Digby's mistress. Shelby suddenly appeared beside him with two large glasses of punch and handed one to him. The colonel took a long drink. The punch was one of the smoothest and most potent he had ever tasted; he could feel the effects of it after only one drought.
"I presume that the woman in yellow is our hostess?"
Shelby confirmed that she was.
"And Digby? Which one is he?"
After expressing surprise that Fitz didn't already know Digby, Shelby gestured quickly towards a group of men in the back room. "Digby is the tall one with the eyes."
The colonel started to remind his friend that every person in the room had eyes, but then he noticed the eyes of the tall, thin man who was in the group that Shelby had indicated. The man had blue eyes that were so pale that they were almost colorless. His hair was long and straight and equally colorless. The colonel knew at once that this man was Digby. He looked younger than the colonel had expected, no more than twenty-five. As if aware that he was being observed, Digby looked across the room directly at the colonel. He and the colonel stared unwaveringly at each other, and after a moment Digby beckoned insolently to the colonel. Something in the colonel rebelled at the idea of responding to Digby's summons, but he had come to this party for the express purpose of talking to this man. The colonel and Shelby pushed their way through the crowded room to Digby's side. Shelby introduced the two men, and Digby looked piercingly at the colonel for a moment.
"I hear that you are looking for George Wickham." Digby's voice was flat and toneless.
"Not anymore."
Digby raised an eyebrow.
"I have found him," continued the colonel.
Digby remained perfectly still and expressionless for a moment; then he smiled slightly. "I salute you, Colonel Fitzwilliam, you have managed to do in a few hours what I have not been able to accomplish in almost a week. Come with me."
Without waiting for a response, Digby glided through the crowds and entered an adjoining room. The colonel reluctantly followed him, wondering how Digby knew that it had only taken him a few hours to locate Wickham.
Digby closed and locked the door behind the colonel and Shelby.
"Where is he?"
The colonel folded his arms and faced Digby. "We have just met. I do not yet see a good reason to tell you what it has taken me some effort to find out."
"We may have just become acquainted, but we have a mutual friend," Digby paused and nodded at Shelby. "And a mutual cause, I believe."
"Ah, I do not know if that is correct. Your cause, I believe, is revenge. Mine is to save the reputation of a young lady."
"Perhaps if he is made to marry this girl, we will both accomplish what we want. I shall have my revenge and you shall preserve the reputation of the girl in question."
"I was not aware that you knew the young lady."
"I do not."
"Then how can you be sure that your desire for revenge would be satisfied if Wickham married her?"
Digby smiled broadly this time, exposing a mouthful of yellow teeth. "Come, Colonel Fitzwilliam. You must give me some credit. I, too, have informants in Brighton. I know that the young lady he is consorting with lacks brains, fortune, and we can assume that she now lacks virtue; what few charms she has now will soon fade."
The colonel stiffened; he did not like to hear Elizabeth's sister spoken of in this manner. His instinctive dislike of Digby had increased markedly during the few minutes he had spent in his company.
"I can assure you," Digby continued, "if it was up to me, I would seek revenge in more dramatic fashion than a forced marriage; but it is my mistress who is to be avenged and she has a soft heart. She cannot bear to see another young girl suffer as she has suffered because of Wickham. She wants him to marry the girl, and I promised her that it would be done."
"How do you intend to accomplish that?"
"There are many ways to accomplish an unwanted marriage, most of them violent in nature, but the most effective way, and the one that is most considerate of the young lady's welfare, is to bribe the blackard."
"How much are you prepared to pay? Wickham has many gambling debts and expensive tastes. I do not imagine he will accept anything less than ten thousand pounds."
"Once again, you underestimate me. I am well aware of Wickham's price. Although I have excellent powers of negotiation and am confident I can bring him down in price, I am willing to pay ten thousand pounds or more, if I must. So, what do you say, Colonel? Between your knowledge of his whereabouts and my money, we can have Wickham married by the end of the week."
Colonel Fitzwilliam hesitated. He did not trust Digby, and he felt uneasy about the entire situation. It hardly seemed credible that a man would be willing to part with such a large sum to indulge the compassionate impulse of his mistress. On the other hand, judging from the diamonds draped around his mistress' neck, the loss of even as large a sum as ten thousand pounds was not likely to make a noticeable dent in Digby's accounting book. The colonel was curious and even somewhat suspicious about the source of Digby's wealth since he did not have the appearance or comportment of a well-bred gentleman.
Still, despite his unease and suspicions, it was hard to turn down Digby's offer since it would allow him to accomplish his goal with little additional effort or expense on his own part. "Wickham would be wed in a week and I could start planning my own nuptials," he thought giddily.
The colonel imagined his wedding day; he would be dressed in full regimentals, red and gold, with his sword by his side. He would watch Elizabeth walk down the aisle of his family's chapel. She would stand beside him and look up to him, her face flushed with excitement. They would not stay long at the wedding breakfast, just long enough to be civil to their guests. He wondered for a moment if Darcy would be among their guests. He wanted Darcy to be there, but he did not like the idea of Darcy staring at Elizabeth as she walked down the aisle. Darcy stared at her entirely too much. He would speak to Darcy about this as soon as he announced his engagement to Elizabeth. "Yes," thought the colonel, "Wickham's marriage cannot take place soon enough."
The colonel brought his mind back to the present and looked squarely at Digby. He held out his hand to him. "I say yes, by all means. Let us work together and get Wickham married as soon as possible."
An hour or so later, Fitzwilliam and Shelby stumbled out of Digby's house. They had had numerous glasses of fine champagne followed by more punch. The colonel felt sicker than he had felt in years. Shelby hailed a passing hack, and he and Shelby threw themselves gratefully into the carriage.
The colonel leaned back in the carriage and clutched his head. "I have never seen anyone pour champagne so freely before. We must have drank pounds worth of the stuff, and that punch! What the hell was in it?"
Digby closed one eye and frowned at his friend. "Don't you know, Fitz? I thought everybody knew. Digby trades in opium; mixes up the laudanum himself. That is how he so deuced wealthy. He is famous for his laudanum punch. We were lucky to get it free of charge. Most people pay for thee privilege of attending one of Digby's parties."
The colonel looked at Shelby in disbelief. He started to chastise his friend for not telling him about any of this earlier, but a great wave of nausea overtook him and prevented him from talking. Then, to his chagrin and Shelby's great amusement, Colonel Fitzwilliam leaned out of the hack and vomited up the entire contents of his stomach.
Chapter 19
August 8, 1812
Mr. Darcy was much more talkative on the last segment of the journey to Hertfordshire than he had been during the previous day's travels. As they drove through the vibrant countryside, he spoke of such things as farming and land reform. Although he primarily directed his comments to Mr. Bingley, he made no effort to exclude Georgiana and Elizabeth from the conversation. To the contrary, much to Elizabeth's surprise, he seemed to welcome comments from both Elizabeth and his sister on what were generally considered to be subjects of conversation exclusively between gentlemen. It was a discussion that interested Elizabeth and one ordinarily that she would have enjoyed having a share in, but she found that her attention kept drifting to memories of the occurrences of the early morning.
The fact that Mr. Darcy sat directly across from her today did little to help matters. Elizabeth tried to divert her eyes from him during the conversation, but her eyes, like her thoughts, betrayed her. Whenever Mr. Darcy turned his attention to Mr. Bingley or to his sister, Elizabeth found herself gazing at him. She had always thought him handsome, even when she disliked him, but now she realized the full extent of his manly beauty. His exterior attractions were enhanced by his uncommon elegance and grace.
Although each of his parts seemed perfectly formed, the feature that drew her attention the most was Mr. Darcy's mouth. With her emotions still reeling from the feeling of his mouth pressed against her own, Elizabeth surreptitiously studied Mr. Darcy's lips. She marveled to herself how his lips managed to look so soft and gentle while conveying an unmistakable firmness of character.
Darcy seemed oblivious to Elizabeth's perusal of his lips, but Mr. Bingley was not. Elizabeth realized to her great mortification that, as Mr. Darcy was listening intently to something that Georgiana had said on the subject on tenants' rights, Mr. Bingley had caught her staring at Darcy's mouth. Mr. Bingley smiled comp licitly at Elizabeth; his smile, like Mr. Bingley himself, was generous and non-judgmental, but Elizabeth felt deeply ashamed at being so caught. She paled and turned abruptly toward the window.
Mr. Darcy seemed to intuit at once that something was wrong. "Are you feeling unwell, Miss Bennet?" he asked.
"Not at all. I was enjoying the conversation greatly, but I find I am feeling too tired to do it justice. If you excuse me, I believe I will rest for the remainder of the journey."
"Of course," murmured Mr. Darcy. Both Miss Darcy and Mr. Bingley encouraged Elizabeth to rest.
While the others softly continued their conversation, Elizabeth closed her eyes and contemplated her situation. Mr. Bingley's knowing smile had reminded Elizabeth of how much she had compromised herself this morning.
'I am no better than Lydia,' she thought ruefully. 'Like Lydia, my passion for a handsome face and form are stronger than my virtue.' Even while she thought this, however, she recognized the fallacy of it. While she could no longer deny that she felt passion for Mr. Darcy, she realized as she heard his deep voice that her feelings for Mr. Darcy went well beyond physical attraction. She now began to comprehend that he was exactly the kind of man who in disposition and talents would most suit her. His understanding and temper, although so unlike her own, answered all her wishes.
If they were free to wed, it would be a union that would be to the advantage of both. By her ease and liveliness, his mind might be softened, his manners improved. From his judgment, information and knowledge of the world, she would receive benefit of greater importance. To this, would be added a physical passion that promised to be beyond what she had ever imagined possible.
In contemplating this, Elizabeth realized just how little Colonel Fitzwilliam would suit her. It was true that the colonel's ease and liveliness were equal to what her fancy had always imagined she wanted in a man. On more intimate acquaintance, however, he had proven to lack the qualities she now realized were essential in a husband. If asked to set forth all of these qualities, she might have felt hard-pressed to articulate them all; strength of character and delicacy of mind were chief among them, but there were other more amorphous qualities that she could not name. She was now certain that, whatever these various requirements encompassed, Mr. Darcy possessed them all and the colonel did not.
Now that Elizabeth had no doubt as to the true state of her feelings, she could not help but berate herself for being blind for so long to the state of her heart. If she had realized her wishes sooner, she would never have entered into an understanding with the colonel. It would not have mattered, anyway, she thought sadly. Regardless of her situation with the colonel, she could never have married Mr. Darcy. If Lydia and Wickham never married, the shame of being joined to such an infamous family would be insupportable for a man as proud as Mr. Darcy. If, on the other hand, Lydia should marry Wickham, marriage to Elizabeth would be equally repugnant to Mr. Darcy, because he would thus connect himself with a family where to every other objection would now be added an alliance and relationship of the nearest kind with the man whom he so justly scorned.
It was true that Mr. Darcy had spoken of marriage to her only this morning and with full knowledge of Lydia's shameful connection with Wickham. She knew, however, given the kiss that they had so recklessly shared, that Darcy's honor would have demanded that he renew his offer of marriage. "No," she thought, "I do not want a marriage to Mr. Darcy on these terms." She might have considered marriage to him under such circumstances if she had cared for him less, but her awakening passion and love for him would not allow him to bind himself to her to appease his sense of honor. She had little doubt that he still loved her, but she was equally convinced that his love could not survive the inevitable mortification that would result from a union with her.
Elizabeth's thoughts continued in this vein for the remainder of the journey. By the time they had reach Hertfordshire, she had concluded that if she could not marry Mr. Darcy, she would not marry at all - not the colonel nor any other man. Instead, she would devote herself to restoring, as best she could, the happiness and comfort of her family.
The little Gardiners, attracted by the sound of a carriage and four approaching, were standing on the steps of Longbourn House as the carriage pulled to a stop. They watched curiously as Mr. Darcy lightly jumped to the ground and helped Elizabeth step down. The two youngest rushed to Elizabeth's side and were tugging at her skirts before her feet had firmly settled on the ground.
Perhaps because she had been contemplating a life of childlessness, the sight of her young cousins moved Elizabeth to tears. She brushed tears from her eyes, as she leant to kiss them. As she was straightening back up, she heard Mr. Darcy whisper, "Until tomorrow." Before she could respond, Mr. Darcy had disappeared back into the carriage.
By that time, the eldest Gardiner children had surrounded Elizabeth and were anxiously asking about the whereabouts of their parents. Elizabeth assured them that their parents would join them in a couple of days. The children's obvious disappointment in the absence of their parents was soon forgotten as they danced to express their delight in seeing their favorite cousin. Elizabeth found herself wishing she was young enough to replace sadness with joy so easily. As the children led her up the steps, Elizabeth turned her head slightly and watched the elegant carriage head off towards Netherfield.
Jane came running down the stairs from their mother's rooms just as Elizabeth and the children noisily entered the vestibule. The two sisters embraced tenderly. Elizabeth asked whether there was any news of Lydia and Wickham.
"Not yet," replied Jane. "But now that our dear uncle has come to assist our father in his search, I hope that everything will soon be well." Jane turned and peered out the front door. "Where are our aunt and uncle?"
Elizabeth glanced at the children. "They will be here shortly. I will explain later," she added in a low voice.
"But Lizzy, how did you get here? Surely, you did not travel all this way alone?" Jane looked horrified.
Lizzy hesitated a moment. She was not comfortable discussing all of the events of the past week, at least not while standing in the hallway with their young cousins cavorting at their heels.
"Mr. Darcy and his sister graciously offered me a ride as they were traveling to Netherfield with Mr. Bingley."
Jane's eyes widened and she gasped involuntarily. Before she could question Elizabeth about this astonishing information, Elizabeth grabbed her arm.
"I will tell you about it later. First, I must go see our mother."
As Lizzy and Jane entered Mrs. Bennet's rooms, that lady looked at her second daughter and cried, "It is about time you have arrived, Lizzy! You do not know how we have all suffered while you were away enjoying yourself. Where is my brother?"
When she learned of her brother's delay, Mrs. Bennet leaned back on her day bed and clutched her chest.
"Oh, what is to become of us all now. Here is Mr. Bennet gone away to look for Wickham, and my brother nowhere in sight to assist him. I know that Mr. Bennet will fight Wickham wherever he meets him, and then he will be killed."
Lizzy froze. The idea of a duel had not occurred to her before. She could not imagine her father challenging Wickham to a duel, but the colonel was another story entirely. In fact, now that she thought upon it, she could not imagine how the colonel could get Wickham to marry her sister without threats of some type, threats which could easily end in a fatal duel. While she suspected that the colonel was the better swordsman of the two, she had no doubt that Wickham would not fight fairly. Colonel Fitzwilliam could easily be killed in the mission he had undertaken on her behalf. She could not bear the thought that a man, a good man, might risk his life for her sake. The thought was especially intolerable now that she knew that she could never marry the colonel, regardless of whether or not Lydia married Wickham.
"I must stop him," she murmured to herself.
Despite her weakened condition, Mrs. Bennet's sharp ears did not miss Elizabeth's words. "Yes, Lizzy. By all means, since your uncle will not help us, you must go to London yourself and prevent your father from being killed. For if he is, Mr. Collins will turn us out within the fortnight to starve in the hedgerows, mark my words."
As anxious as Lizzy had been to get home, she was now equally anxious to go to London to convince the colonel to give up his quest for Wickham, and to confess to him that she could never marry him under any condition. She was distraught at the idea that if she did not hurry, she might be too late.
"I will go to London without delay, Mama. If you can spare Jane, I would like her to come with me."
"Spare Jane?" cried Mrs. Bennet. "I cannot possibly spare Jane; who would nurse me then?"
"You have Aunt Phillips, and Mary and Kitty here with you; and there is Hill, too. You will be well looked after, and we will not be in London long."
"No," pouted Mrs. Bennet. "I must have Jane; no one else understands my nerves, as Jane does. Mary and Kitty certainly do not. You managed to get here on your own, Lizzy; you can travel to London on your own, as well."
"But Mama!" exclaimed Jane. "She did not travel here alone, she was given a ride by..." Jane stopped abruptly in mid-sentence.
Thankfully, Mrs. Bennet did not appear to notice. She continued to carry on about how she could not possibly do without Jane.
"Mama," Elizabeth said calmly. "Our family's behavior is already under great scrutiny. If you want me to go to London now, it would be best if I do not go alone. There would be talk if I were to take a coach alone with no chaperone. Jane is the only one who could go with me. You know that traveling makes Mary ill; and Papa would not like for Kitty to be in London, considering what has happened to Lydia. It simply must be Jane. We will speak with Papa and be back in just a few days. "
Although Mrs. Bennet was greatly displeased at the prospect of the absence of Jane's patient ministrations, she knew that Lizzy spoke the truth.
"Yes," she said, grudgingly, "I suppose it is best if Jane goes with you. Make sure that your father is not killed, Lizzy; and see that Wickham marries Lydia without delay, and that she has proper wedding clothes."
If circumstances had been different, Elizabeth would have laughed. Her mother, who generally found little to admire in her second daughter, seemed entirely convinced that Elizabeth could save Mr. Bennet from imminent death, as well as ensure that Lydia was not only wed quickly, but clad in appropriate attire when she did so. Instead of laughing, Elizabeth nodded gravely and kissed her mother on the cheek.
"We will do our best, Mama. We will make arrangements as quickly as we can and be off without delay. I believe there is a coach leaving for London at half past two; if we make haste we can catch it and be in London before dark."
Before Mrs. Bennet could change her mind, Lizzy and Jane hurried out of the room. Mrs. Bennet called out detailed instructions concerning Lydia's wedding clothes as they left.
Jane clasped her sister's hand. "My poor Lizzy, I am so sorry that you must leave again when you have just returned home. You must be exhausted from your long journey. You have not even had a chance to bathe or to dine. Perhaps, we should put off going to London until tomorrow."
Elizabeth shook her head. "No, I think it is best to leave without delay. The journey to London is not overlong, and it will go quickly since I will have you to keep me company, dear Jane."
Elizabeth's thoughts quickly turned to her engagement to meet Mr. Darcy the following morning. She could not leave without sending some word to him. Earlier in the carriage, she had been feeling both excitement and dread at the idea of soon meeting Mr. Darcy alone; she had also been reproaching herself for her foolishness in arranging to meet him alone in public at a time when her family could not afford the merest hint of further scandal. Although she knew that it was best to avoid the meeting, Elizabeth felt bereft at the idea of not having one last opportunity to speak with Mr. Darcy. She knew that he would be hurt by her failure to keep their appointment, and the idea of causing further pain to Mr. Darcy saddened Elizabeth. She was consoled by the thought that in causing him some small degree of suffering now, she was sparing him from a larger share of it in the future.
"Jane, I wish to write a letter to Miss Darcy before we leave but it shall not take me long. I want to spend a few moments with Kitty and Mary before we leave, as well. Would you please tell Hill of our plans and see to the packing of our clothes while I attend to these matters?"
Jane nodded her acquiescence, and Elizabeth kissed her sister again before she hurried off to write her letter. Although Jane felt that it would have been better for Elizabeth's sake to delay their journey until tomorrow, she was secretly relieved that Elizabeth had insisted on traveling to London today. Jane had been greatly shaken by the news that Mr. Bingley was back in Netherfield. She was fearful of seeing him again, particularly now that her family faced such scandal and disgrace. Despite everything that had transpired, Jane still cared deeply for Mr. Bingley and could not bear to see him under such painful circumstances. She had no doubt that once her mother found out that Mr. Bingley had returned that she would waste no time in trying to push Jane into his company, even though everyone else could plainly see that there was no longer any hope for a union between them. Jane was grateful for the opportunity to leave Hertfordshire and could only pray that Mr. Bingley would be gone from Netherfield by the time she and Lizzy returned home.
In the early evening, Georgiana was sitting in the parlor at Netherfield playing with one of the resident cats. It was a small elegant cat of Siamese heritage, and it had a playful nature that delighted Georgiana. She dangled a skein of embroidery thread in front of it and laughed when the cat batted at the thread. Bingley smiled at Georgiana and the cat, but he seemed ill at ease. He drank more sherry than usual and glanced repeatedly at the door, as if expecting visitors to arrive. Darcy stood at the window staring out into the night as if he, too, was awaiting something or someone.
Despite the general air of anticipation, everyone was surprised when a footman entered the room bearing a letter on a silver platter. Mr. Bingley jumped to his feet and practically leapt across the room in the direction of the footman.
"The letter is for Miss Darcy, sir," said the footman in a toneless voice.
Georgiana stepped forward with an eager smile and took the letter. "It must be from Elizabeth, as no one else knows that I am here."
Darcy had never heard Georgiana call Elizabeth by her first name before, and the sound of her first name on his sister's lips made him smile involuntarily. He watched his sister intently as she opened and read the letter.
Georgiana read the letter quickly and her face soon darkened with disappointment. Darcy's heart sank.
"Is there any news of interest?" he asked tersely.
"It is from Elizabeth. She regrets that she must travel on to London today on family business. Her sister Jane goes with her. She apologizes for not saying goodbye properly and sends her fond regards to all of us."
Georgiana looked up from her letter to see her great disappointment at this news magnified in the countenance of her brother and their friend. A long silence followed, punctuated by the mews of the cat who, at this point, was hopelessly ensnared in long silken threads. Georgiana occupied herself with disentangling the cat. By the time the cat was freed, Mr. Bingley had left the room. Mr. Darcy had returned to the window, his posture more erect than usual. Georgiana joined her brother at his post.
"Elizabeth asked me particularly to tell you that she regretted her hasty departure since she did not have the opportunity to thank you for all of your many courtesies to her. She entreats your forgiveness and sincerely wishes us both future happiness."
Georgiana folded the letter carefully and tucked it into the sleeve of her gown. "It sounds so very final," Georgiana said sadly, "as if she expects to have nothing more to do with us."
Darcy continued to look out the window. The disappointment that he had shown clearly a moment earlier was no longer evident. He stood silent and expressionless, his gaze fixed on some distant object.
Georgiana looked at her brother for a long moment and then sighed softly. She picked up the cat and left the room.
Even in his solitude, Darcy's expression betrayed nothing of what he was feeling. He stood at the window for a long time looking out. Just as the sky was beginning to darken, he leaned his forehead against the windowpane.
"She thanks me for my many courtesies, and entreats my forgiveness." he whispered.
He had come so far, both in terms of distance and hope, only to have his fondest wish placed entirely out of reach, once more.
Chapter 20
August 9, 1812
Colonel Fitzwilliam woke up to a pounding head and the smell of tobacco smoke. He opened one eye and beheld Shelby sitting on the edge of the bed smoking a cigar. The colonel wasted no time in forcibly representing his displeasure at this rude awakening.
Shelby laughed. "Do not bite my head off, Fitz, I come bearing a gift." He waved a piece of paper in the colonel's face.
"Get that object out of my face and allow me to finish my sleep, or you will answer for it later."
"My mistake, old fellow. I thought you would want to read this note straight away. It was delivered this morning by one of Darcy's servants, and is addressed to you in what appears to be a feminine hand."
The colonel opened both of his eyes and grabbed at the letter. He had given Darcy's address to Elizabeth as the best place to reach him, not knowing at the time if Shelby would be home. Darcy's servants were well acquainted with the Colonel's habits and were used to forwarding mail to him at Shelby's house.
Shelby laughed and retreated to the far end of the room, still brandishing the note. "But since you have little interest in anything but sleep, I will not bother you. I just may seize the opportunity and read the letter myself, since it has been a long time since I have received a note that was penned so prettily."
The colonel leapt out of bed and cornered his friend; Shelby promptly hid the note behind his back. After a brief tussle, the colonel succeeded in snatching the note from Shelby's hand. He read the contents quickly and then looked up at Shelby with a rapturous smile.
"Is it good news then, Fitz? Does your betrothed swear eternal love and the like? Gad, I never thought that I would see you so giddy. It almost makes me want to fall in love myself."
The colonel got out of bed and started dressing quickly. "She is here in London and asks to see me straight away. Can I prevail upon your man to shave me? I do not have the head for shaving myself this morning."
"You cannot go see her now. You have an appointment to see Digby in one hour."
Fitz had a dim recollection of making arrangements last night to meet with Digby the following day. He groaned inwardly; he had spent more than enough time with Digby already. Still, he was consoled by the fact that the meeting was likely to put him one step closer to achieving his desired end.
"I beg your pardon," the colonel asked. "You want me to do what?"
"Disfigure him."
The colonel stared at Digby. "You did not speak of this last night."
"I am speaking of it now. These are my terms; you are to engage George Wickham in a duel and slash his face with your sword deep enough to leave a prominent scar. I will then supply the needed funds to ensure that the scoundrel marries the young lady. We will have a measure of justice and revenge, and the young lady's reputation will be restored."
"And what if Wickham refuses to cross swords with me?"
"He will not refuse. I have it carefully planned. I will see that several of Wickham's friends invite him to Green's gaming house at three o'clock this afternoon. While he is there, you will walk in and challenge him to a duel - first blood only. My friend runs the gaming house; he will then take bets who the victor will be and offer to give the winner half of the pot. With such a financial incentive , Wickham will not refuse such a challenge, especially one made in front of his friends. In addition, I will arrange for his second and ensure that he gets to the location of the duel. All you have to do is show up at the appointed time with your sword and your own second."
"Even if I issue a challenge to a duel to first blood only, Wickham may try to deal me a mortal wound," the colonel objected. "He is not known for fair play. I do not know if I care to take mortal risk to assuage your need for revenge."
Digby leaned back in his chair and smiled thinly at the colonel. "You have a regrettable tendency to underestimate me. I assure you that there will be no risk for you. Wickham will be closely watched. If he shows the smallest sign of any trickery or if he manages to relieve you of your weapon, he will be shot before he can harm you. I will also arrange for a medical man to be there."
The colonel pondered this. "What guarantee do I have that your man will assure my safety, or that you will supply the needed funds if I do as you request?"
"You have my word as a gentleman."
The colonel expressed his skepticism with a lift of his brow.
Digby smiled again and stroked his chin. "You also have my word as a businessman, if that inspires more confidence. You may ask your friend Shelby for confirmation of my reputation for keeping my word. If he denies it, you may terminate our agreement without repercussions."
The colonel was silent for a few moments while he weighed his options. While he had little faith in Digby's word as a gentleman, from what he observed the previous evening of the power and wealth that Digby controlled, he felt that it was likely that the word of Digby, the businessman, could be relied on. Besides, he already knew that Shelby felt that Digby could be trusted.
While it might be wiser to walk away than risk life and limb on the word of a virtual stranger, the colonel knew that without money the chances of his quickly achieving success in his negotiations with Wickham were slim. Using his own wits and wiles, the colonel thought he had a fair chance of eventually swaying Wickham, but it would likely take a considerable amount of time. On the other hand, if the man before him were true to his word, the colonel would have to do little more than cross swords with Wickham to bring about the desired marriage of Lydia and Wickham.
While the thought of deliberately slashing Wickham's face to leave a scar was somewhat offensive to the colonel's sense of fair play, he could not deny that the prospect of disfiguring Wickham was an attractive one. Ruining Wickham's good looks by leaving a permanent scar seemed fitting punishment for his ruthless seductions of innocent young ladies. It would also lessen the chance that other young ladies would be seduced by Wickham's looks in the future.
It was the thought of Elizabeth, however, that was the deciding factor; all other considerations gave way before his desire to make her happy. If he agreed to Digby's plan, he could go to Elizabeth today with the news that not only had her sister and Wickham been discovered, but there was every hope that they would soon be wed.
The colonel stood up. "Very well; I will be at Green's at three to issue the challenge." With a cool nod in Digby's direction, the colonel placed his hat on his head and swiftly exited Digby's office.
Late that afternoon, Colonel Fitzwilliam found himself in the hallway of the Gardiners' home. He was pleasantly surprised by both the exterior and interior of the house; the former was pleasing in proportions, and the latter, at least from what he could observe while standing in the hallway, was furnished in a manner that indicated that the owners possessed more than a modest amount of wealth and taste.
The colonel removed his hat and smoothed down his hair while he waited for the servant to fetch Elizabeth. His heart was racing from a combination of the anticipation of seeing Elizabeth and residual excitement from issuing his challenge to Wickham earlier in the afternoon. Everything had gone according to plan. The colonel had challenged Wickham in front of a small group of his friends. Wickham had looked slightly startled, and had asked the reason for the challenge. "If you need to ask, you are more of a scoundrel than I had thought," the colonel had replied. Wickham had thrown back his head and laughed at this. While his friends looked on uneasily, Wickham had agreed to the duel with an arrogant smirk that had the colonel itching to unleash his sword upon the scoundrel.
The colonel was mentally rehearsing his opening movements in tomorrow's duel, when Elizabeth descended the staircase and smiled graciously at him.
"Colonel, I thank you for replying to my message so quickly."
"I assure you, my dear, the minute that I heard you were in town nothing could delay my visit. I was delighted and amazed to learn that you had arrived in town so quickly. I was concerned that your aunt's illness might cause you a delay of a number of days."
"I ran into Mr. and Miss Darcy and their friend Mr. Bingley, and they kindly offered me a ride to Hertfordshire."
The colonel noticeably stiffened. "Darcy?"
Elizabeth colored slightly. "Yes, it was a most amazing coincidence. They appeared at the ______ Inn not long after you left. My aunt and uncle urged me to travel on ahead of them with the Darcys. We reached Hertfordshire yesterday and I traveled onwards to London with my sister Jane to meet with our father. I was anxious to speak with you straight away, sir."
"I cannot tell you how delighted I am to hear that. I have been longing for your company, as well."
The colonel grasped Elizabeth's hand and bent over to brush a kiss across the back of her hand. Her ungloved hand was soft and slightly fragrant; the colonel turned it over, intending to kiss her palm. To his disappointment, Elizabeth slipped her hand from his grasp.
"Please, sir, come into the parlor. We have much to discuss."
The colonel eagerly followed Elizabeth into the Gardiners' parlor. The kiss on her hand had whet his appetite for more. He assumed that her reluctance for him to kiss her palm in the hallway was due to her fear that they would be discovered. He had hopes that in the privacy of the parlor, he could finally kiss more than her hand.
Once they had sat down, the colonel turned to Elizabeth. "You mentioned that your father is still in town. Is he at home now?"
"No, he is dedicated to searching for my younger sister. He is out looking for her now, but, sadly, his efforts have been unsuccessful."
"Ah, then I have welcome news," the colonel smiled broadly. "Wonderful news. I have located your sister and Wickham. They are here in London."
Elizabeth eyes widened. "You amaze me, sir; I can hardly credit that you could have found them so soon. Why, you must have barely reached London yourself."
"I wasted no time in beginning my search. I was fortunate to find them after searching no more than half a day. I must admit that while it did not take long to locate them, it was not a particularly pleasant task. I had to wander through many of the most unsavory parts of town before I located the rooming house where Wickham is staying with your sister. I was lucky to escape with both my purse and my life."
Elizabeth looked uncomfortable. "I am sorry, colonel, that you have had to go to so much trouble and jeopardize your safety for my sister's sake."
The colonel smiled at Elizabeth. "I did not do it for your sister's sake, but for my own. I must remind you that you agreed me to marry me if your sister and Wickham wed. With such an inducement, I would face twenty times the trouble and danger that finding Wickham entailed."
He was tempted to tell Elizabeth about tomorrow's duel, but was concerned that it would cause her undue anxiety on his behalf, and that she might try to dissuade him from it.
"That is exactly what I wished to speak to you about, sir. I have given much thought to our situation and I do not ..."
"Yes, as have I. Soon, we may do more than think about it, my dear." The colonel grinned broadly, not realizing that he had, once again, interrupted Elizabeth. "I have put some plans in place. I am confident that Wickham can be convinced to marry your sister within the week, and then there will be no impediment to our own marriage."
Elizabeth looked startled. "They can be married so soon? I am overwhelmed. You have not only located my sister, but also arranged for her marriage in less than two days. I can scarce believe it."
The colonel smiled at Elizabeth in an indulgent matter. "It is not very felicitous to enter into an engagement doubting your future husband, but I can hardly blame you, my dear; I can scarce believe it myself."
Elizabeth was trying to gather her nerve to confess to the colonel her inability to marry him, when Jane entered the room. She halted in surprise when she saw the colonel.
"I beg your pardon, Lizzy, I did not know you had company."
Lizzy made the introductions, hoping that her sister would depart, so she could finish the unpleasant task before her. She was also worried that the colonel would reveal his feelings for her to Jane. Lizzy had given Jane a version of the events of the last two weeks that was accurate except for its omissions. From Lizzy, Jane knew that the colonel was familiar with Lydia's situation and had offered to put his knowledge of Wickham to use, but Jane knew nothing of the more intimate affairs concerning Lizzy, Colonel Fitzwilliam, and Darcy.
Although part of Lizzy had longed to tell Jane about everything that had occurred during the past week, various considerations prevented her from fully confiding in Jane. First, now that Lizzy had had the opportunity to observe the real state of Jane's spirits, it was clear that Jane was close to being ill with anxiety over Lydia's situation. Lizzy did not want to give Jane confidences that could add to her distress, and it was certain that Jane would be distressed by news that Elizabeth was practically engaged to the colonel while finding herself with a strong attachment to his cousin. There was another darker motive lurking behind Elizabeth's silence. She feared that Jane would not wholly approve of her intention of breaking off her conditional arrangement with the colonel. Thus, as she done most of her life when she had done or contemplated doing something that might shock Jane's notion of goodness, Lizzy kept her own counsel on the subject.
Lizzy looked on somewhat warily, while the colonel greeted Jane with his customary ease and friendliness. Jane, who tended to be rather shy upon first acquaintance, said little but smiled upon the colonel warmly and thanked him for his great kindness in offering to assist her family in searching for Lydia. The colonel responded by repeating the astounding news that he had not only located Wickham and Lydia, but was confident of an imminent wedding between the two. Jane looked at the colonel in wonderment.
"Lizzy, is this not wonderful news! I cannot wait to tell Papa. We must go see Lydia immediately; could you tell us where to find her, sir?"
"I do not advise you to enter the part of town where your sister is staying. It would be much better for her to come to you. I have sent word to your sister that you are here in town and, hopefully, she will soon come to you. It would be best, of course, if she were to be married from this house."
Jane leaned toward her sister and took her hand. "Can you believe it is possible, Lizzy! I must admit I am worried about Lydia's future happiness in such a marriage, but I comfort myself with thinking that Wickham would not marry Lydia without true regard for her."
Jane turned back towards the colonel, her eyes clouded by tears. "I must thank you again, Colonel, for all you have done for our family; you are kindness itself."
The colonel could think of no modest reply to this remark, so he merely smiled at Jane. He looked over at Elizabeth and noticed that she lacked her usual composure. Knowing nothing of her true feelings, he assumed that she, like himself, regretted the fact that Jane's presence deprived them of the opportunity for further intimacy. Realizing that he would not likely have another opportunity to see Elizabeth alone on this visit, the colonel stood up and announced his intention to depart. Jane announced her regret that he was leaving so soon. Elizabeth was silent, but the colonel was gratified by the look of misery of her face.
As the sisters accompanied him to the door, the colonel managed to whisper in Elizabeth's ear. "Do not despair, my dear, I will see you tomorrow. All will be well."
Shortly after eight that evening, there was a loud knock on the Gardiners' door; Lizzy ran to open it, expecting their father. A boy was standing at the door with a letter in his hand. It was addressed to Miss Lizzy Bennet and was in Lydia's careless handwriting. Lizzy tore the letter open and beheld the following:
Dearest Lizzy,Lord, I am glad that you are in town! I wanted someone to come to my wedding, although I would have preferred to have Mama and Kitty. Wickham has not worked out all of the details, but he says that we will be married soon.
I know you are anxious for an account of everything that has happened since we left Brighton, but I am too agitated to recount it all because the most exciting thing just happened! My Wickham just came back from meeting a friend and told me he is going to fight a duel for me tomorrow. Can you believe it! It will happen at dawn, at a park on the edge of London. Wickham is polishing his sword even now. Oh, how I wish that Kitty were here to see all of this! No one has ever fought a duel for her, and I am sure that they never will. You must tell her all about it Lizzy as soon as you go home. She will be so jealous!
When Wickham first told me about the duel, I thought it might be Papa who challenged him. Oh Lord, that would be a laugh! Can you imagine Papa fighting Wickham? But no, it is much more exciting than that. A colonel has challenged my Wicky, and there is money at stake. Is it not romantic!
I will be glad when it is all over because the thought of someone pointing a blade at my sweet Wickham's throat puts my nerves in a dreadful state. I have no real fear for Wickham's welfare, however, because I know that he is the best swordsman in all of England; he has told me so himself many times. I will see you soon at my wedding.
Your loving sister,
Lydia Bennet (soon to be Wickham)
Lizzy blanched as she read the letter. She was glad that Jane was bathing and that their father was still out. She did not want either one of them to learn of the duel. There was no doubt in her mind that it was Colonel Fitzwilliam who had challenged Wickham. She had come to London to stop him from endangering himself for her sake, and stop him she must.
She was tempted to go now to look for the colonel, but she knew that her father would be home soon and would notice her absence. She contemplated the idea of going to the colonel before dawn and begging him to withdraw his challenge to Wickham. She had just enough coins to pay for a hack cab to the address the colonel had given her. She was aware that traveling across London before dawn to an unfamiliar address would involve some degree of danger both to her person and to her reputation; she had no choice in the matter, however. If the colonel was killed or even injured for her sake, she would never be able to live with herself.
Mr. Bennet soon arrived home and Jane, rushing down the stairs to greet her father, immediately informed him of the visit from the colonel and of the news that Lydia had been located. Mr. Bennet seemed both gladdened and disturbed by the news that Lydia was staying with Wickham in London. He and Jane both talked with much more animation than they had the night before. Lizzy, however, felt herself unequal to take part in the conversation. She recalled the last words that the colonel had spoken to her that afternoon, and repeated these words over and over to herself in order to mentally prepare for the events of tomorrow: "All will be well, all will be well, all will be well."
Later that evening, as Lizzy bid Jane goodnight, Jane put her arms around her sister and kissed her cheek.
"Oh, Lizzy" Jane sighed. "I must confess that I had almost given up hope, but now I feel that everything will turn out well."
Lizzy closed her eyes and laid her cheek against Jane's. "Yes, sweet Jane," she murmured. "All will be well."