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Part 76
Richard had taken James and Julia out shopping for no other reason than that he absolutely loved toys and now that he had children he had a legitimate excuse to go into toy shops. They had inspected a new toy maker's stock, for one always had to be aware of the things that were available, especially if one was a father of four. There were so many nice toys in the shop that Richard regretted that his children were still too young for most of them and he himself too old. Or rather, too old in most people's eyes. The toy maker himself did not find his fascination strange at all and they spent over two hours there, receiving lengthy demonstrations of just about anything. As far as Richard was concerned, it was an extremely successful shopping excursion.
The twins had liked it as well, because they had been allowed to touch everything -- the toy maker only made toys that could not break -- and they had been able to walk out of the shop with the thing they were in love with at that particular moment. Since they were twins and sometimes thought alike, Richard now had the heads of two wooden dogs peeping out of his coat pockets, because James and Julia had dropped their presents not ten minutes after leaving the shop -- which was not all that far away at the speed they had chosen to walk because of all the distractions that a busy street offered them. "Ungrateful creatures," he had said, but he knew them and he knew they would demand their dogs back the moment he assumed they had forgotten about them.
He had a twin at each hand and it made walking a bit difficult, because either they insisted on stopping themselves or they were stopped by admiring passers-by. It was of course very gratifying to their proud father to listen to all the compliments he received and he did not mind at all. Besides, the town of Matlock should be kept up to date about the growth and progress of his children.
It did not enter his mind to think that some might think it strange that Lord Matlock would spend nearly a day each week displaying his obvious lack of a nanny. It was completely invisible that he had once been an army man. He even cuddled his children in public. Although his wife might agree with some officers' secret nickname of Colonel Cuddle, it was meant somewhat derisively. While officers were expected to be well-mannered and courteous, wiping their children's noses and patiently waiting for them to climb down steps did not quite belong to that category.
James had climbed the steps to someone's front door. Richard approved of physical exercise, so he had not objected, but it seemed he could wait forever for James to come down. James rather liked being higher up than usual, as it gave him ample opportunity to look at all the horses that went past. He surveyed the street arrogantly -- he was a viscount after all. "Would it please your Lordship to come down?" Richard inquired. He held out his hand, in case James had not really understood what he had said.
James had, naturally, but he turned around with a chuckle and tried to push the door open. It would not even budge when he slammed his little fist on it.
"James?"
James let out a few frustrated cries. He wanted to go into this house and his father had better open the door for him or he would be sorry.
Richard dragged Julia, who was unnaturally quiet today, up the steps, knowing it would be impossible to take James away from there without him beginning to cry. He used the knocker, hoping that the door would be opened by a really scary butler who would frighten James so much that he would be put off from doing this kind of thing ever again.
However, James did not look at the butler when the door was opened. He just stepped over the threshold and the grey and dignified butler looked in amazement at what scurried past his knees.
Richard, because he was silly, not only had calling cards for himself, but he had also had some made for his children. He solemnly handed the butler James' card. "That is him. I have no idea what his business is, but he insisted on calling here."
The butler studied the card, seeing it was a real viscount who was trespassing at the moment. He knew the name, being a butler, so he also knew who Richard was. "My Lord, should I announce his Lordship to the lady of the house?"
"It might teach his Lordship a lesson." Richard was glad the butler seemed to have a sense of humour, even though he was aware of a slightly mocking flicker in the butler's eyes. He assumed these were the first toddlers with calling cards that the butler had seen, but Caroline and he only produced very precocious children. Perhaps he was setting a trend. "I have no idea who lives here, by the way, and if I could trust her with my son."
"I would not have suggested it if I had not known that Mrs Grenville can be trusted," the butler replied gravely. "Should I announce you too, my Lord?"
"I had no intention of calling. We shall see how my son's visit works out. If Mrs Grenville can be trusted, I am sure she would understand that I shall wait in the hall until I am needed." He handed the butler his own card and Julia's, which was exactly like James', except for the name and that it was a pale pink.
"Of course, my Lord," the butler bowed and went into a sitting room to announce the visitors.
Mrs Grenville was not acquainted with Viscount Mayfield and her butler's description that he was a very young gentleman only bewildered her further. She was hardly the sort of person to be visited by young gentlemen, especially if they were of noble birth and insisted on calling despite having their fathers with them. She studied the cards with a puzzled expression and at last asked her butler to show the young gentleman in. She burst out laughing when her trusted butler reappeared with her visitor. No wonder Lord Mayfield's father was waiting outside.
"I believe he would not leave our doorstep, Madam, and that was why his father knocked on the door," the butler apologised.
Mrs Grenville said it was no a problem at all and she greeted her visitor politely.
James, however, immediately walked over to the coffee table, where he spotted a very familiar-looking tin. At home they kept biscuits in it. He had been brought up well and did not immediately stretch out his hand, knowing he should ask his Mama or Papa to open the tin, because he could not do that himself. "Dada bicky?" he called over his shoulder into the hall.
Richard, fearing James was about to misbehave, had wandered closer to the door and was just considering offering his apologies when he heard James call out. He entered the room with Julia on his arm, bowed and greeted Mrs Grenville, who replied with a nod and a smile. The plaid around her legs seemed to indicate that she was ill or disabled, but she seemed to be amused by the visit. "Oh, James," Richard said. "Is that why you wanted to call at this house? You must have an exceptional nose."
"Want bicky."
"Have you introduced yourself yet?" Richard asked, but doubted it. James had only acquired a very selfish vocabulary so far. He could say he wanted to eat and play, but that was about it. "What do I tell Mama?"
"No need, no need!" Mrs Grenville thought James was adorable. "He is such a well-mannered little boy." Just look at how he refrained from touching the tin.
Richard snorted. "That was a good joke that will amuse my wife. I must remember it." Caroline would scream at it.
"Want bicky," James said insistently.
"They are not mine to give away." Richard looked at Mrs Grenville.
"Are they allowed to have one? And would you like some tea, Lord Matlock? Do have a seat."
He would, actually, after all that shopping and walking they had done. It was impossible to take the children somewhere public, because the waitresses would never leave him alone if he did. "Yes, please, to both. I do not think my wife would mind if they had a biscuit." He and Julia sat down as she rang a bell three times.
"Bring me the tin," Mrs Grenville said to James.
He looked at her in distrust. She was going to take the biscuits away from him and he was hungry. His small hands closed around the tin very firmly and he ran off with it.
Richard tolerated a lot, but not everything. "James!" he thundered.
James knew what that voice meant: Papa was angry with him. He stuck out his lower lip and it began to quiver.
"Here!" Richard ordered.
James sat down where he was standing and burst into tears.
"As if anyone would be fooled by your theatricals," Richard said as he carried James and the tin back. He set James on the sofa and gave Mrs Grenville the tin. "Your mother can never fool me either."
"Would they like a biscuit or a piece of cake?" she asked as a servant brought in the tea.
Richard knew what he would go for. The cake looked delicious. "That is very generous of you, Mrs Grenville, to still allow him something after he absconded with your tin of biscuits. My wife would too, but that is because she is his mother and because she is just a very soft-hearted person," he smiled.
"He's so small," she said indulgently.
"He uses that to his own advantage." Before he had children, he would have laughed at that, but now he was convinced that James and Julia were very devious and shrewd, despite their size and age. But he looked proud of the fact. "Ask my wife."
"And what is your daughter's name?"
Richard stroked her hair. "This is Julia. They are twins."
"She seems more quiet."
"Let us be thankful for such a day." It could be very different. He supposed Julia was very tired and that was why they had been spared more mischief. Right now she was sitting there very calmly, not even sticking her legs up in the air or doing any other unladylike things she was wont to do. "My wife would uagree."
"Are these your only children?" she asked. He obviously doted on these two. And on his wife. How many times had he mentioned her so far? Every other sentence?
"I have two more."
"How old are they?"
"They are younger," he grinned, enjoying the fact that he could surprise someone who did not yet know. It was amazing that people like that still existed in Matlock. But perhaps Mrs Grenville's disability or illness prevented her from socialising much.
"Younger?" she exclaimed. "Both of them?"
He could see she was doing some mental arithmetic and he laughed. "They are also twins and they are only a few weeks old. My wife and I can only have twins, it seems." He tried some of the cake. It was just as he had thought: delicious.
Part 77
Mrs Grenville hardly stirred outside and she had very few visitors, so she enjoyed this unexpected company very much. "Does your wife ever come to town, my Lord?"
"Oh, regularly. She was here yesterday." Richard fed Julia a piece of cake. She wanted to do it herself, but he would not let her. This cake was too delicious to be spilled. Already he could feel James tugging his coat for another bite. He turned to James, who had his mouth wide open very helpfully, bits of unswallowed cake visible on his tongue. Richard frowned at the sight. It was really a bit disgusting. "Really, son. Empty your mouth before you ask for another bite."
"Aaaaa," James moaned, sticking out his tongue. Shove the next load in, he wanted to say. He wanted more of that cake.
"They are just like little birds," Mrs Grenville said with a tender look.
"Just as impatient," Richard agreed. He had a little respite when both twins were swallowing and chewing. "Do you have any children, Mrs Grenville?" Either she did not, or she had forgotten how tiresome they could be if they were not being adorable.
She nodded, but with a wistful smile. "I have a son in the Navy, but I do not see much of him. There are always so many other things young men must do on the rare occasions they return to England and I am dependent on him to visit me -- I cannot travel to London." She gestured at her legs.
"He does not always come?"
"He does, but he does not stay as long as I should like. I know he must do something, but why did he have to join the Navy? Could he not have joined the Army?" she smiled, knowing she could not change the fact.
"I used to be in the Army, but with my mother it was always 'why could he not have become a clergyman? That is far less dangerous,'" Richard smiled.
"I am glad to hear that I am not the only mother who worries about such things."
"And yet my elder brother..." The smile left Richard's face. "He was not in the Army, but he..." But he had died anyway.
Mrs Grenville did not hear much news, but this had not escaped her. "I read about that a few years ago," she said sympathetically. "It was a great loss for your family. It is indeed true that you need not do anything dangerous to pass away. Perhaps I was only afraid for my son because my husband went away once and never returned. It is silly. For years I hoped that it had been a mistake and that he would come back, but by now I have resigned myself to the fact that he was not kidnapped by pirates, but that he truly died." She could even smile at the idea.
"I...I...also hoped..." Richard said haltingly. Could he really be confessing this to a total stranger? But she would not think it stupid, because she had done it herself. He had never told anyone.
"I think it must be what people do," she said quietly.
"Yes." He fed Julia another bit of cake. That was always what happened: the children were always there to make him forget. They were even born in the same period.
"Shall I take one for you?" Mrs Grenville offered.
Richard could see she would like it, so he carried James over and also gave her James' saucer with the piece of cake. "My wife, you know, did not know my father and brother very well and she does not think about it if I do not tell her. And there are always the children to remind me that life continues." He forced himself to smile, making a mental note to tell his mother to visit here some time. She might find it agreeable or useful. "Do you live alone?"
"I have my butler and the servants. And I sometimes have relatives to visit me." She looked quite content with that. "I read a lot, though one does get rather tired of reading all day."
"We met a woman," Richard said to Caroline when he got home. "Or rather, James wanted to call on a woman." He wondered if Caroline was going to scream at that. James was not supposed to call on women yet for a long time, at least twenty-five years.
Caroline was not as impressed as he had thought. She kept smiling at Lucinda. "Did she have any teeth yet? James' little friends hardly ever do."
"Yes, she had teeth. I think she was about fifty."
"Fifty?" Caroline raised her head. Lucinda could not smile back yet anyway, only stare up in wonder. "And you say Jamie wanted to call on her?" Jamie? Or Richard? A fifty-year-old woman? What on earth for?
"Yes. He insisted on having that door opened for him, so we called at the house and a woman lived there. She did not mind that we called. We had tea with her and delicious cake."
"Mind your waistline," Caroline said automatically.
"Yes, dear," Richard replied just as automatically. He knew his waistline was in no danger at all, because he could eat what he liked. Now Caroline's waistline was an entirely different matter, although that was never the result of delicious cakes. However, he understood that at the moment she was still a bit sensitive about waistlines, not quite having regained her own yet.
"Did you know this woman at all?"
"We do now."
She stared at him. "I do not suppose this could happen to anyone but you."
"I suppose not," Richard answered. "Just like I do not suppose anyone but you could have a coffee table full of babies." Half of his offspring was on display there and the other half was under it. Not that he cared, really, but he could imagine that other people put their coffee tables to a different use. They put the coffee tray on it, for example.
Caroline looked down on it. "Well, I suppose you are right, but it was a really convenient place. Sam tends to jump on the sofa, you know, so I cannot put the babies there." Sam was old Lady Matlock's dog and he believed that he had the right to lie on the sofa because it was the most comfortable sofa in the house.
"Sam is not allowed to do that."
"You tell Sam. But tell me about this woman you visited." That was a very strange story and she wanted to know more of it.
"She was an invalid, I think. She did not walk, at any rate. And she loved the children."
"I like her," Caroline commented. People who liked the children were always good people.
"She thought James had good manners."
This surprised Caroline somewhat. James had not even heard of the concept of manners yet, let alone know they could be good or bad. "She was otherwise healthy?"
"Yes. James did run off with her tin of biscuits, though," Richard said.
Caroline shook her head and with one hand grabbed an ankle that was protruding from under the table. She pulled at it softly and Julia came into view. "Oh, wrong child." She grabbed another ankle. James thought it was a game and he squealed. "I must chide him. Jamie!" She pulled him onto her lap and he giggled as he was being tickled. "What did you do? What did you do?"
"If that is your idea of a punishment, Caroline, I want some too," Richard remarked.
"Later, later," she waved. Not in front of the children, naturally. "Jamie. What did you do with the biscuits?" James had no idea he was being admonished and he loved it. Caroline loved it too, actually.
Sam, in his corner of the sofa, raised an ear and he began to wag his tail. Richard quickly threw him one so he would be quiet.
"Richard, that is a bad habit," Caroline said warningly. "Soon that dog is going to take over this household in the same way he has taken over the sofa. He is beginning to push people off it, had you noticed?"
Richard smiled at her. "Yes, Caroline." He carefully pulled a sleeping Julia out from under the coffee table and put her on the sofa beside him. She was a little too big to put her on the coffee table as well.
"Now tell me about your visit."
Part 78
Caroline felt she had been stuck at home for far too long and the first fine day she took her youngest two into town to show that she was back. She had been to town for a little shopping, but this was different. She and Susan each carried a baby around the park numerous times, sometimes being stopped by acquaintances for a chat.
On their tenth tour, they encountered Richard. "Why, Lady M. Fancy meeting you here," he said, a child on each arm. "We could all have gone together, had I known your intention." They bowed and curtseyed for show. Richard's way of addressing Caroline had set the tone.
"Do you not think it is more pleasant to go separately?" Caroline inquired. She had been surprised to see him here, but pleasantly so.
"Indeed, it is. I could never have run into you if we had gone together and I could never have inquired how much your children have grown, because then I should never have spent some time away from them. Have they grown? Do they walk yet? Talk? Smile? Do they show any great promise yet?" He leant forwards to study one of the babies, doing exactly what many people had done to James and Julia.
"Of what?" Caroline said with a giggle.
"Of becoming as silly as all the other walkers in this park," Richard answered gravely. "Today I learned that Julia shows great promise." Personally he felt it was still a bit early to see that in a toddler who only had a limited vocabulary.
Caroline studied Julia's dirty face and grubby hands. "It sometimes happens that a doting father loses the ability to discern mockery if it is disguised as praise, if it concerns his child." All Julia showed any promise of at the moment, was of becoming a miner. It looked as if she had been digging in the earth like a mole.
"Lady M, I have a wife," Richard said significantly.
Caroline smiled angelically. She did not mock Richard all that much, did she? "Please, Lord Matlock. Do not underestimate me. How else could you have children? You must have a wife."
"Not everyone realises that." Some had come dangerously close when they had been admiring the children. It had not been all that pleasant, what with their strong perfumes and all that.
"Really? They think you are a libertine?" She feigned shock.
He smiled engagingly. "I am. Come on, give us a kiss, Lady M."
"All of you?" Caroline wrinkled her nose. "Those two little moles as well?" James looked as dirty as Julia. Kissing them was out of the question. What in heaven's name had Richard done to them or let them do?
"All of me or all of us?" Richard asked in a suggestive whisper with a wide grin.
That made even Caroline blush, even though she was used to Richard. She pulled his head closer with her free hand and kissed his cheek. "There." Susan was with them, but she had seen worse things and Caroline did not care what the rest of the park thought of it.
"Thank you. That curtsey felt a bit cold, you see. You and I are on a more familiar footing than that, Lady M."
"Are we?" Caroline raised her eyebrows.
"I should think so."
Here Julia decided to interrupt by indicating that she wanted to switch to Caroline's arms. "Mama revels in having dirty little fingerprints all over her neck," Caroline said with some reserve, eyeing the hands that were stretched out to her. However, she knew she could not escape it. Julia was already pouting most impatiently. Soon she would open her mouth and start screaming.
"Because she knows who will wash them off," said Richard. "Take the girl."
Caroline took Julia onto her free arm. She made a mental note to ask Richard later on if he really could not handle her absence. Discretion and restraint were words he had never heard of, referring to shared baths when they were in public, but her eyes began to sparkle even more at the prospect.
"Kiss Mama," Richard encouraged Julia and he received a glare from Caroline.
"Kiss Papa," she said to James.
"Wicked woman!" Richard exclaimed, trying to keep his head out of James's reach. James was not only dirty but he also had a snotty nose.
Caroline actually did not mind getting dirty, but it would never do to say that feeling little fingers and lips made her smile, just like that look of Richard's would never do. "Face, Lord M, face. You must pretend to dislike me."
"Who could dislike you, my dear Lady M?" he bowed gallantly. "Nothing less that pure hate would be acceptable, I am sure."
"You are so sweet," Caroline cooed. They were already drawing curious stares from other people, some of whom were obviously wondering why a married couple was greeting each other as mere acquaintances. Others who did not know were surprised by the baby transfer. Caroline did not feel like enlightening them. She would walk on. "Well, I shall not keep you, Lord M."
"Can I have my daughter back before you desert me?" Richard asked. Carrying two children would be a bit much for Caroline.
"No," she said, just because it was required.
"No?" Julia was not too heavy?
"Just like that? Ha. No."
"I am willing to pay ransom. I want my daughter back," Richard said in a slightly raised voice when an older couple passed them. He did not mean he wanted Julia back right away. He liked this game. The couple looked shocked and he grinned.
"It will take me a tour of the park to decide," Caroline announced archly. "It will require a serious reflection on the matter of parental authority." She seemed to have none whatsoever, allowing her daughter to decide which parent should carry her.
"Do walk on, Lady M," Richard shuddered. "That is not my cup of tea."
"Indeed not. You are of the opinion that you should not have any opinion because every case is different, but I do not find that quite fulfilling."
"Fulfilling," he repeated. He did not know opinions could be fulfilling. "Well, I propose that we each take another tour and then meet up to discuss our viewpoints." He bowed again.
Caroline gave him a polite nod, curtseying being out of the question now that she was carrying two children. "As you wish, my boy."
"I shall also be contemplating how husbands ought to be addressed by their wives," Richard announced as he walked away with James. "With which amount of respect and so on."
"As much as they deserve," Caroline called after him. She turned to Susan, who had been holding Anthony very patiently all the while. "You do not think we are strange, I hope."
"I am used to it," Susan said evasively. She hardly noticed their strange behaviour anymore.
"I am madly in love with the man. You must not be fooled," Caroline said in a low voice, just in case Susan had the wrong idea. To her great surprise Susan started to laugh uncontrollably. Had she just said something funny?
Part 79
Caroline walked around the park and then met up with Richard again. She was in good spirits. "Well, what do you think?" she asked.
"I have been thinking about it," he began.
"I do love men who think," Caroline crowed.
"I do love women who are silent," he countered.
"Then you do not love me?" Her face fell and she began to pout.
Richard gave her a little nudge. "Ha. Anyway, I was thinking," he repeated. "But --" he paused with a frown. "This is really difficult."
"Dear, the fact that you can actually have serious thoughts will remain a secret between the two of us," Caroline assured him in a half whisper. "Was that your concern?"
"Yes." Richard looked relieved. "I was thinking that our ways complement each other and that this is a good thing." That was, in the instances that they did not agree.
Caroline was all admiration. "You are so clever!"
"Caroline, do be serious."
She smiled at him and put Julia down on the ground. "I am. And I do agree with you, but I have less clever thoughts on the matter of parental authority. They are undefined."
"Undefined is good. That means they are not inflexible and fixed."
"Am I not too lenient with them?" She gestured at the eldest twins who had discovered another heap of twigs and who were studying this with great interest. She supposed she ought to interfere, as a good parent, and pull them out of it. Or would a good parent allow them to enjoy themselves? Really, just because she could not see the fun in a heap of twigs, it did not mean that small children would not enjoy themselves. Or was she just hoping they would get dirty so that they could all take a bath together?
Richard did not think so. If they were interested in a heap of twigs, then they should by all means be allowed to explore it. "They are still very small. To be very strict would be wrong. Not that I believe I could be strict in a few years." He looked doubtful. He preferred his children to be curious and inquisitive rather than dull and uninterested. As for their being dirty, well, he knew a good remedy. It was called a bath. "Shall we go home? And take a bath there? All of us?" he asked hopefully.
"Of course. I was just having bad thoughts on that subject."
"No one can ever have bad thoughts on the subject of bathing," Richard declared. "Because I am sure I had the same thoughts and I cannot call them bad."
When they arrived home, they found that the Darcys had come over for s surprise visit. As disagreeable as this was to him, Richard banned all thoughts of taking a bath with his family to the back of his mind, being incapable of banning them out altogether. He was the perfect host, even squeezing out some compliments on little Victoria's looks. For an honest man this was a tough thing to do, because she was a plump and rather ugly little thing who could do nothing but whine. Richard disliked whining and he was glad his children did not do it, but Darcy, stupid man, seemed proud that his child did. Fathers were really prejudiced, Richard reflected. This proved it. Whining was not a sign of life, it was a sign of, well, he did not know exactly what, but nothing good, anyway.
Caroline's thoughts on the matter had already been communicated to him by an expressive look. She agreed with him, but her countenance was that of a well-mannered hostess. However, Richard could detect a strong wish to make her children appear to advantage as she placed them on the sofa when Susan and Betty brought them in. Their hands and faces had been washed and they were wearing clean clothes. Even as a former military officer he could not find anything wrong with their appearance and posture -- tidy and organised.
After James had performed his "Dada bicky?" trick, superiority had definitely been established on the side of the little Fitzwilliams. No child that age could be as clever and well-mannered as little Jamie, except Julia. Richard and Caroline beamed.
"Right, what was he saying?" Darcy asked, deflating their little balloons of smugness.
Caroline looked displeased for a second and then pulled a sweet face again. "Your daughter," she said with an ever so slight emphasis on your, "cannot speak yet, Darcy, so naturally you would not know anything about child language."
"Oh, that was language?" Darcy inquired. "Forgive me for not noticing." He was sure Victoria would get it all correct when it was her turn. Dada bicky did not sound English at all. It was merely an articulate gurgle, but he feared Caroline would kick him out of the house if he said so.
Richard was still holding the tin of biscuits. "Give Darcy a biscuit," he said to Julia, who had come forward to get one. James had already returned to his seat, climbing up with an admirable agility and swiftness that was much admired by his father.
Julia shook her head vehemently. "Julie want." Her father had one biscuit in his hand and he wanted her to give it to that person over there? Not as long as she wanted it and she did not even know that person. He did not laugh, ever, so maybe he was not even nice at all. Nice people laughed at her and tickled her and held her upside down.
"Sorry, Darcy," Richard said apologetically, but with an unmistakably smug smile. His daughter was unbelievably clever and witty. "She will not let you have one." He held the biscuit out to Julia. "Say thank you, Papa."
She only giggled at him and took it.
"I do not know why they always think there is only one biscuit in here," Richard remarked. "The servants keep it filled." He passed it to Elizabeth so she could take one.
"Perhaps, Fitzwilliam, that is because they cannot count yet," Darcy suggested and got a really clever idea. "Hmm...." He retrieved the tin and took out another biscuit. He broke his own into several pieces and placed it on the table beside the whole biscuit. "Julia?" But Julia was not interested. He took James instead. "Which one do you want? Take a biscuit. We shall see whether you can count or not."
"He is going to take the whole biscuit," Caroline predicted, leaning back on the sofa lazily. She had the two baby twins on her stomach. Damn posture and straight backs - she should make it comfortable for Anthony and Lucinda.
"Why? There is only one piece. I thought he wanted as many biscuits as possible." If Darcy thought like a simple child, the choice was very clear to him. He would take as many pieces as possible.
"A broken biscuit is not a biscuit," Caroline sang confidently.
She was proven right when James pointed at the whole biscuit. "Pure luck," said Darcy. He broke the biscuit in two, because he gathered the Fitzwilliams were very keen on giving the twins the exact same amount of everything. He would give the other half to Julia.
Caroline shook her head at his stupidity. "As if James will take half a biscuit," she muttered to Lucinda. "He is not going to accept that. No no no. Hello, my darling. Are you awake?"
This drew Richard's attention to the baby as well, since he was sitting next to Caroline -- could they ever sit apart? --- and with their hosts being drawn into some baby world of their own, Darcy found himself alone in dealing with a pouting toddler who was threatening to start crying because this person had promised him a biscuit and then destroyed it. With a daughter who did nothing but cry -- exercising her lungs, Darcy called it -- he was very proficient at recognising the signs of imminent tears. He quickly gave James another biscuit and ate the two broken ones himself. That made three and he caught Elizabeth's look. He gave her a frown. Women. It would be such a pity to waste two biscuits.
Part 80
The matter of Georgiana's infatuation with Captain Riley did not cause Richard too many worries in itself, but after reading a letter from his cousin in which she discreetly inquired whether the gentleman was still in the area, he regarded his eldest daughter seriously as he contemplated his future. She was a very pretty girl, as far as he could tell. She was not yet two, but she showed great promise. Once Lady Julia's suitors started materialising his easy life would be over and he would have to be very watchful. "Is that not so?" he asked her.
Julia looked up at him blankly and then she laughed. She liked being spoken to, no matter what was said. She laughed even if her father said incomprehensible things.
"No, it is not so," said her mother in her place. She was trying to stitch something, but her progress was slow. She was also reading a book with James, but he took so long to stare at the pictures that it allowed her a few stitches in between.
"What do you know of it?" asked Richard a little apprehensively. Perhaps Caroline would just give Julia away to the first suitor who appeared, but he was inclined to think that could not be a very deserving man, for some reason.
"Well, I am your wife." She made it sound as if that explanation was clear enough.
"Does that make you capable of reading my mind?" Perhaps he had been thinking out loud. He did not think Caroline could read minds all the time yet.
"No, but it means that I must disagree with you."
"Whatever for?" He was thinking some very sensible and wise thoughts about the subject, although he never objected to having Caroline disagree with him for amusement's sake -- and really, he would benefit from it should he be saying something he had not thought through very well, which frequently happened when he disagreed with Caroline for the fun of it.
"Because it keeps the conversation going," Caroline replied. She had no idea what he was talking about, of course, but that never mattered. They could converse endlessly without knowing the other's thoughts. It was more fun to discover them that way than to ask outright. If his thoughts were important, he would share them.
"Julia does not seem to think so." His daughter did not seem to care for conversation this morning. Instead, she was smiling angelically, but fortunately not the Fitzwilliam sort of angelic smile, the one people should distrust. Considering that Bingleys did not have trustworthy angelic smiles, Richard was not certain what this one implied or where she had got it from. "Julia! Caroline, do you not think she will give us a lot of trouble later on?"
"I am used to quite a lot," Caroline said stoically, thinking of her husband, four children, mother-in-law and the occasional visiting relative. She pointed at the next image when James appeared ready for it. "Tiger."
"Cat," James corrected.
"Tiger," she said patiently. It might look like a big cat, but it was not.
"Cat."
"All right. Big cat then." She wondered why her mother-in-law snorted.
"Big cat," James repeated obediently.
"Why can you not say tiger if you can repeat me?" Caroline inquired with some degree of vexation. "Tiger."
James found this insistence tedious and continued on to the next image, pushing her finger away. "Bear!"
It was indeed a bear. "Very good! Now let us go back.. Tiger." The matter of the tiger still did not sit well with her, no matter how clever James was about other animals.
"Bear." James tried to turn the page. "Want dog!"
"Dog?" Caroline asked. She turned the page before it would be torn and there she saw a dog. "Oh. How did you know, clever boy?" she exclaimed. She was so proud of him.
"We read that book this morning," said Lady Matlock, much amused. "The boy has a fine memory."
"Did you tell him it was a tiger?" Caroline could not stand more stubborn people than herself. They should not have their way. If she said it was a tiger, it was a tiger and people should not insist it was a cat.
"No, I asked him what it was and he said it was a cat."
"But..." Caroline was appalled. "You did not correct him?" He might have said it was a dog and he would not have been corrected either.
"This is James we are talking about," Lady Matlock said in a meaningful tone. James did things in his own time and on his own conditions. Julia would try to please by attempting to say tiger and producing something not always very similar to it, but she did not expect James to say the word before it would come out perfectly. Until he was ready he would stick to cat. He would have his reasons for it and it was better not to wonder.
"The son of Caroline Bingley," Richard added. "Notorious for her --"
His mother waved him away. "Caroline! You saw yourself that James does not listen to corrections."
"But he will now grow up thinking a tiger is a cat." Caroline spoke as if she thought this would hinder him for the rest of his life.
"Essentially he would be right." And she had no doubt that James knew very well that it was a tiger by now.
"But it is wrong!"
"Even much older people have their images corrected," Lady Matlock soothed.
"If you are talking about me," Caroline said snappily, "I hope you never thought I was a cat." She feared she might have been. Sometimes she still felt like being one.
"No, you thought I was a cad and that image was corrected too. But speaking of cads...I was just thinking..." Richard began. "What would we do if Julia was pursued by one?"
"I have no idea, but you have ample time to think about it, son," said his mother. "Perhaps you would even be as glad as I was to finally have someone take your child off your hands."
"I think not. Which child are you talking about, Mother?" Richard asked innocently.
"You, perhaps. I was very glad to have you taken off my hands."
"But I returned."
"Older and wiser."
"Ha!" Caroline could not resist saying.
"Dear Caroline, that is compared to how he was."
"Ladies," Richard announced. "I have had enough of you." Or rather, he had had enough of sitting down and he wanted to go outside. "I shall take James for an inspection of the west side of the estate." He lifted James off Caroline's lap and set him on his feet. "Come. Business."
James had no idea what business was, but he understood he was going to be taken out and that was always fun. He dropped the book and ran ahead to the door. Julia never wanted to be left behind and she joined him there.
Richard had expected as much and he shrugged. He opened the door and the twins headed straight for where they knew their coats to be. They were very clever, he thought. That one of them tumbled over in his hurry and then had to be carried was of no consequence. They would undoubtedly fall over a few more times outside, because they always did. It was not because they were not clever.
He considered writing to Darcy about Captain Riley. He had not done so before, because he had thought it a passing infatuation, but perhaps things were different if Georgiana still inquired about the man three months after she had gone home. Apparently she had not met anyone else in the meantime. Richard wondered if Darcy locked his sister up. Even Julia met more people in three months. He realised that Julia was perhaps not representative of young ladies in general, because she was taken everywhere, but it was still significant.
Perhaps now that Darcy had his plump little Victoria he would relax somewhat with regard to Georgiana and he would let her go out more. Perhaps the one to write was Mrs Darcy, since she would look more favourably upon going out than her husband. Then again, Richard knew very little of what had become of their social agenda after Victoria. He was inclined to think that one baby could not have made much of a difference. After all, he had four of them.
He disregarded the fact that much of his social agenda nowadays consisted of visits to the stables and the chickens.
"This way," he called when the twins took the wrong turn -- not in their opinion, though -- and wanted to visit the chickens yet again. "Rabbits this way."
For once they listened and turned back. Richard felt a tiny bit of guilt for having misled them. There were no rabbits this way, at least none that could be touched. They might see one from afar, though. Still, James and Julia had no way of knowing that and they followed him happily.
They did not see any rabbits, but they saw something far more interesting: a small boy leading a few cows to another meadow. The boy took off his cap respectfully, but the twins did not acknowledge him. Richard had to hold them by the hoods of their capes so they would not go too close to the cows. He had never seen what was exciting about cows, but perhaps he had always been wrong. His children had apparently never seen anything more captivating.
The boy drove the cows into the meadow and then closed the gate behind them. Richard let go of the twins, figuring the gate would keep them out. Before he had time to react he saw Julia drop herself onto her stomach and crawl under the gate. He was barely in time to stop James from doing the same, but now he had a problem: he could not let go of James to get Julia back. If he climbed over, James would follow him and he would have to split himself in two trying to catch them. "Julia!" he tried in his most commanding voice, but she did not even seem to hear him. She had set off in pursuit of the cows. If the cows did not step on her, she was bound to fall face-first into something nasty. "Julia!" he called again.
"I will get her," the farm boy announced and he was over the gate in no time at all. He must have some sort of talent in persuading small girls, because the pair came back as great friends, hand in hand even.
Richard looked at them. He wondered why Julia took to cows and farm boys. It did not bode well for her future, although he was very grateful for it at the moment. He raised his eyebrows in surprise when the boy even let go of Julia to crawl under the gate and she did not run away. She would have done that to him -- he was sure of it. Now she merely stood watching.
"Come, Julia," the boy coaxed and she followed him immediately.
"Thank you. What is your name?" Richard asked. He must remember the existence of this boy, should he need to persuade Julia in the future.
The boy was obviously more at ease being active and practical than being questioned, for now he appeared shy. "Richard, sir. My Lord," he added to have everything covered.
That would explain it. Richards were good by definition. Richard grinned. "That is a good name. I am indebted to you, Richard."
Part 81
"Oh...-- oh!" Richard said to himself when he perceived a strange carriage outside the house upon his return. It looked too fashionable to have brought any interesting visitors. He had gone around the front especially to avoid any animals, but here they were -- animals and unwanted visitors. "No, that is a stupid horse, not a cow," he said to Julia when she was interested in running towards it. He could only just grab her by the hood of her cape. "We are going inside. To Mama."
It was fortunate for him that Mama was even more interesting than animals, because it seemed to excite the twins for some reason. Richard quite understood. After cows, rabbits and birds, he too felt a strong need to see Mama again and the thought of Caroline handling unwanted visitors made him feel embarrassingly funny,
Richard led the twins up the steps, he had them divested of their capes and then he had their hands washed. "This is a serious dilemma," he said, eyeing James and Julia seriously. "What shall we do? One, we could rescue Mama as quickly as possible. Or two, we could have Mama's visitors wonder if you have soiled your nappies -- which you undoubtedly have."
James looked back at him and laughed.
"Is that a yes?" Richard asked suspiciously.
"Want Mama," Julia said insistently. She had been promised that she would be taken to Mama. Where was she?
"You want Mama to do it?" her father misunderstood her hopefully.
"Go Mama."
"No, no. Not yet. Mama would not approve of you in this state. Come upstairs. Will you ask Betty?" he asked the servant who had helped them.
"Lady Anne is in the area to work on her watercolours," Caroline introduced their visitor, a shrewd-looking, fashionable woman near her own age.
"Ahh," said Richard, only rarely having been confronted with ladies who took painting watercolours very seriously. What did one say to them? If he read Caroline correctly, there was something about this woman that did not sit well with her. "You have come to the perfect area, I am sure. The landscape is very pretty. My children love it."
The children were not with him. Betty had deemed them too dirty to expose them to visitors, because she had detected a negligible smear of mud in James' face and Richard had been forced to leave them in her care until they would be absolutely spotless. He had protested that he was not spotless either, but Betty had been stubborn.
"Oh..." Lady Anne looked somewhat confused. "I was under the impression that they were still very small."
It was advisable not to underestimate little Fitzwilliams in their own home. Richard turned his eyes to Caroline. There was an almost imperceptible flicker of support on her face that told him enough. He was allowed to misbehave. "They are." But being small did not imply that they were stupid. "But they adore the countryside."
It was clear that Lady Anne did not understand how that could be possible. "But an uninformed mind could never appreciate beauty."
"Lady Anne," Caroline interrupted sweetly, "is a mother too."
Richard understood her choice of words to be very significant, especially since this did not immediately spark off a discussion about their children. He looked at Lady Anne, who was suspiciously silent and impassive, to hear more of this motherhood. He had some things to say about appreciating beauty and uninformed minds in case she remained silent.
"I have a child in the nursery," she said reluctantly.
"Do you indeed?" he inquired. "Only in the nursery, or is it allowed out at times?" He meant to be flippant.
"Rarely. Only when someone wishes to see it."
The polite expression seemed frozen on Caroline's face, Richard noted, but behind it she was struggling with something else. He was struggling too and he wished she would rescue him, because Lady Anne had sounded very serious and he had some trouble not to gasp.
Caroline had apparently heard about Lady Anne's family situation already, for she was capable of speech -- if somewhat strangled. "The child is nearly two years old."
"Indeed. It is still too small to be of real interest. It cannot do anything yet."
Richard raised his eyebrows at Caroline, feeling quite superior. Besides, he was aware of what was going to be sprung upon them in a few minutes. He looked at the ceiling and back again and she nodded.
"Oh, I am so sorry," Caroline said sympathetically. "I take it you did not bring your little girl with you?" She was almost sorry for that. It would have been an excellent opportunity to show that it was pure madness to throw her in James' way already. It was amusing that Richard had thought Julia would be the first.
"No, I did not. It would have been such an inconvenience on the road and if I am to work seriously on my watercolours it would be a distraction."
"Indeed."
"How do you manage with four children?" Lady Anne nearly shuddered.
"I gave up my artistic ambitions," Caroline said modestly.
It surprised Richard to hear that. "Did you ever have any?"
"I gave them up when you turned out to have absolutely no appreciation for them. There was no point in cultivating those talents if they were going to be wasted."
"But..." Richard felt the danger of excluding Lady Anne from the conversation, but he could not resist. "Have you ever sat on a stool to paint a cow?" He had to get to the bottom of that attraction as well. If Julia was already interested in looking at cows, she was very bright. In a year or so she might want to paint them.
"Possibly." Caroline could not remember. She had no idea why he was asking. "It would be hard to tell from the final product what I had actually been painting, you see."
"Were you never instructed, Lady Matlock?" Lady Anne ventured in amazement.
"I was, but my husband likes me to be modest." She had quite lost Richard here and she wished he would give her some direction.
"Oh," said Richard. He did not know why he would like that, but if she said so, it was probably true. "Modesty is a virtue," he added. "Except of course in the case of my daughter. As a proud father I can say that she is almost ready to paint cows."
"Now why do I feel a sudden desire to take up the brush again and paint a little scene involving the proud father trying to make his daughter paint a cow?" Caroline wondered.
"Perhaps we should try that once," he agreed. A good artist could make him look really silly, but luckily he could trust Caroline's skills to be mediocre at best.
"I had thought your daughter was the same age as mine," said Lady Anne, who alternated between being amazed and puzzled.
"Yes, but if they can hold a spoon they can hold a paint brush," Caroline reasoned. "Richard, where are they?" She had been expecting them ever since he had come in. Somehow she expected that it would end the visit somewhat sooner. Lady Anne was too insipid to be fun.
"Being cleaned. Betty thought they were not fit to be seen."
"Betty is usually right, but if they had truly been dirty she would have called on you for assistance. They must be nearly ready. Go and see if they are coming. Please?"
Richard wondered if she wanted to prove something or if she genuinely missed them, but he would support either. "Yes, Madam." He got up and left the room.
"Your children will be coming downstairs?" Lady Anne sounded faint.
"Not only downstairs, but into this room even. I hope you do not mind. It is all the fashion in Derbyshire."
"Is it?"
"Oh yes, but you will find my children very well-behaved and very polite," Caroline assured her. "Nothing like the insipid little creatures I sometimes come across who cannot even greet me, but who keep looking at me vacuously. I find them particularly dull if they stare back at me as if they do not understand what I am saying."
Lady Anne stared back at her.
"Do you not agree?" Caroline inquired.
"Oh, I am sure I do."
"It must be the healthy air around here. You will find it makes people quite energetic. Of course my husband and I discourage dullness at all times and should we come across it nevertheless, we make sure that we at least are not affected."
"Oh," her visitor said weakly. She could not follow Lady Matlock anymore, but it was best to agree with everything she said.
"There they are," Caroline said brightly when the door was opened and the twins were inside as soon as the crack was wide enough to let them through. Of course one was pushing so hard against the door that she fell over when it opened, but the expert hand of her father hauled her up and she reached her mother only a few seconds after her brother did. For a moment Caroline was busy accepting and dealing out hugs and kisses.
Richard considered queueing, but he thought Lady Anne would think him very odd if he did. He told himself he was not so deprived of hugs and kisses that he could not let his children get their share, and that Caroline was not deprived either, in his opinion. He sat down very composedly, like a man of his stature ought.
"Greet the lady, James," Caroline told him. She was proud to see him do so and to see Julia imitate him. It was easy that she only had to tell one of them if they always copied each other.
Lady Anne was much impressed.
"Red!" said James, pointing at her gown. He turned to his mother to see if this was correct.
"Very good!" she praised him, but she wondered if she should perhaps stop using gowns to teach him the colours. He was still saying like for lilac and that would be unacceptable in the case of an awful person dressed in lilac.
"Want eat," said Julia, looking at the refreshments on the table. That sparked off some negotiations between mother and daughter that left their visitor feeling quite excluded. Richard wondered if she should be well-mannered and entertain her instead or if he should just let her be bored to the point of leaving. It was a tough choice, one that required some elaborate thinking.
Part 82
Richard finally decided he would be well-mannered. There was one person they had not yet heard about and that was Lady Anne's husband. Which role did he play in all of this? "Is your husband accompanying you, Lady Anne?"
"Oh, no," she answered, as if this was a very silly idea. "Sir Roger has his pursuits in town."
Richard would feign pursuits in town too if he had a wife heading north to work on her watercolours. He was not very much surprised. "Does he not miss you when you are gone?"
"Possibly, but his health also does not allow him to travel this far. He encourages me to see as much of the country as possible, however."
Anyone would, Richard assumed. Without being acquainted with the husband he would not be able to draw any conclusions about his sense, however. He was at a loss now and he glanced at Caroline, who had finished her negotiations with Julia. She should help him out now.
Caroline had not heard what Richard had been saying, because she had been trying to stop Julia from taking a bite from all pieces of cheese and putting them back on the tray because they were no longer whole. She caught Richard's I have been very good look and grimaced. He never knew what to say when he was being good. This probably meant he was waiting for her to continue, but she was as inspired as he was. This woman was absolutely no match and that took away all the fun. "So, you are staying in Church Street?" she asked lamely.
"Yes, I am," Lady Anne replied. "The lodgings were recommended to me in London, as being very fashionable and quite near a pretty park. Have you any idea who else are staying in that area?"
Caroline did not work for the local newspaper and consequently she had no clue. "I but rarely go into town and practically never into Church Street."
"Really?" Lady Anne asked in amazement. "Oh, I know. They come to visit you here, of course." The principal family of the neighbourhood probably did not call on others.
"I do not insist on it, but it happens occasionally," Caroline nodded. She would not feel affronted if any travellers refrained from calling on her uninvited. She was busy enough without them.
"Did you have a visitor?" asked the elder Lady Matlock when she returned home some time after Lady Anne had left. "I passed a carriage on the way." There was not much else that the carriage could have been to.
"Oh yes," Caroline yawned. She had the two youngest twins in her lap, looking just as languid as their mother.
"Hmm...not a very interesting visit, I take it." Lady Matlock bent over to tickle the babies. She was happy to see they responded with a smile. They were not as dull as they looked.
"Er...not really."
"And where is Richard?"
"He was so bored he went to his study."
"Bored indeed. Where are James and Julia?" Given the state of the rest of the family, she would not be surprised that they were bored as well.
"Sleeping. They were exhausted and I had them put to bed."
"So everyone is feeling dull and bored this afternoon, then," Lady Matlock concluded. "But you must be glad for that for a change." Usually the twins ran around energetically all day and interfered with a lot of work that needed to be done. She found it unbelievable that James and Julia had allowed themselves to be put to bed. It was highly unusual. Perhaps they were merely fooling everyone and wrecking the nursery, or they were with Richard.
"Not really. I wanted to do a lot of things and I cannot get myself to do any of them," Caroline said regretfully. "There are letters I have been meaning to write for a week now, but I cannot think of what to write. It is just like with that visitor -- she was unbearably stupid and yet we allowed it to be so, for the most part."
Her mother-in-law grinned at Caroline's displeased look. "You allowed it to be so. Both of you?"
"Yes, both of us. It worries me. We never used to have any patience with that sort of person and now we behaved."
"For the most part, you said."
"Well, Richard and I did have a little exchange of amazement at her character without her realising it, but that was about it. Perhaps we have not been challenged enough lately. Do you think we might grow dull and patient if we stay here too long?" Perhaps it was time for a change of scenery, a short foray into London and the larger society there.
"Hmm," said Lady Matlock reflectively. "I have spent most of my adult years here. I do not know if that counts for anything. Perhaps you think I am a dull and patient person."
"You are patient with us, Mama."
"Well, dear. I have my reasons." Two of those reasons were lying in Caroline's arms. She looked at them affectionately. "But I thought I had retained enough of my sense despite having spent most of my time here."
"True," Caroline conceded. "But did you not, when you were younger, feel bored occasionally?" She wished she knew a way to remedy this instantly, but she supposed that if she travelled to London she would become bored with London and perhaps no longer bored with Matlock. It was always like that.
"Of course."
"It was such a disappointment to have that visitor turn out so completely devoid of sense or even a heart," Caroline said in dissatisfaction. "Or perhaps it was merely depressing."
"We all have such days. Is it not fortunate that dinner will be soon so that we may take our minds off this emptiness?"
"We ate too much of the refreshments," Caroline said unenthusiastically, glancing at the empty tray.
"In that case..." Lady Matlock said thoughtfully. "Perhaps I should give you the book I bought. I started to read it in the carriage and I was going to keep it hidden from you because I knew you would steal it from me otherwise --"
"I would?" Caroline interrupted, but with more energy than she had been feeling before. The prospect of a new book sounded very attractive, even though she might not have enough time to finish it in one go.
"You would. I shall give you the book and you can tell me afterwards whether I was right."
"But I would not want you to break off reading."
"Yes, you do."
"All right, I do," she admitted with a grin. "I am selfish."
Lady Matlock got Caroline the book, traded it for Anthony and Lucinda and sat playing with them.
When Richard returned Caroline was even too caught up in reading to notice it. He came to sit next to his mother. "What is happening here?" he asked.
"Caroline is reading. The babies are sleeping. And I was knitting. I heard you had a very uninteresting visitor."
"Yes, I wish that kind of people stayed away," he grumbled.
"What have you been doing?"
"Managing my accounts. Such fun. Did you bring a book for me too?"
"No. But you may read it after I have read it," she promised him. "A friend of mine brought it from London and I am dying to read it myself."
"Then why did you give it to Caroline?"
"Because she reads much faster than I do and otherwise I shall have to suffer her impatient nagging for such a long time. It is better to have her finish it very quickly so I can read it at my leisure."
"I never nag," Caroline commented without looking up from her book.
"You merely prompt very urgently, of course," said her mother-in-law. "Or you get Richard to simply steal the book from me. Do not think I do not know."
"That happened once," Richard protested indignantly. "And I only do that when she is unbearable."
"I am still your mother and more clever than you. Were you not surprised to find the book stolen back from you again?" Lady Matlock said smugly.
Caroline looked up, disturbed. "You two are absolutely awful. I wonder why I married you." She took her book out of the room.
"Richard?" Lady Matlock asked her son. "Are you responsible for her opinion of us?"
"Me?" He looked innocent. "Of course not. But I will not protest. The sooner she finishes that book the better."
"You do not even know what it is about."
"But I do know she will be uncommunicative until she finishes it," he said with a shrug. "That counts for something as well."
"Indeed. Because the last thing I heard was that Darcy might be heading this way soon."
Part 83
They had informed the twins of it, which had been a bad move, for James and Julia knew something was going to happen, but not when. They kept being disappointed when the promised visitors did not arrive promptly and ran to the window whenever visitors were mentioned.
"In a few days," Caroline tried to explain, but she knew they had not grasped these concepts yet. "Poor babies." She lifted James off the window sill. "No need to look outside now." She would have let him sit if he had not had anything to wait for. Right now he would only be disappointed if it did not come.
James cried in protest when he was taken away. "Look! Look!"
"Kiss! Kiss!" Caroline replied and cuddled him. He was so sweet and endearing. This was only partly because he was her child. Everyone else would think it too. She was not biased.
"Oh, is that how it goes?" Richard asked interestedly. He could never let any opportunity pass him by. If Caroline was dealing out kisses he wanted to try if he could get some, never mind that there were people present.
"How what goes?" She watched him sit down in the window. "What are you doing?" But she caught on as she was speaking the words. He was incorrigible.
"Will you pick me up now and give me a kiss?" He gave her a particularly mischievous little boy grin, the one he knew she could not withstand.
Caroline looked at James to make Richard anxious, but it really was for show. She was not sure she had the power to resist. "Well? Shall Mama kiss Papa, James?" James said yes to almost anything. He was a very helpful little boy.
James stretched out his arms. "Kiss Papa!" The twins were becoming more and more talkative, but it was still hard to tell what of their speech was imitation and what was something they were saying for a reason.
Caroline thought they understood things only when it suited them. One had to keep in mind who their father was, after all. They were perhaps not brought up with the right example. In other matters, however, he was quite perfect. What good luck it had been to get stuck in the cellar with him one time. The resulting confusion was now hilarious to her, what with her greater knowledge of herself and the world. She gazed upon her husband affectionately, then upon her youngest babies, on the floor with their toys, then towards her eldest daughter, walking around busily with unfathomable business, and finally towards her eldest son. "No, he is mine -- to kiss." But she held James closer anyway so he could kiss his father. "Mama kiss Papa now," she said when she felt he was done.
"Mama kiss Papa," James crowed enthusiastically. It was again not clear whether he had any idea of what he was saying.
"You are teaching them to be highly scandalous," Richard said approvingly, holding his face out to be kissed. He could already imagine James saying this in exalted company. What a shocker it would be! He knew his son was very capable of remembering random phrases and repeating them at most unsuitable moments.
"Scandalous?" Caroline wondered. She pressed her lips to Richard's. There was nothing scandalous about this. It took place in their own home and among their own family. Giving her husband an innocent kiss was not something that really had to be hidden from them.
"Mama kiss Papa!" James crowed again and tried to insert his little fingers in between.
Richard withdrew in surprise when he felt the prying fingers on his face. "James, what are you doing?"
James only chuckled and looked innocent. He pretended not to know what he had done.
"Do not interrupt a kiss."
"Oh, Richard. He does not know the word yet," said Caroline, who was both amused and amazed.
"He has just shown that he knows very well what interrupting is." Richard tried to give James a stern look and failed. "Listen, James. When Mama and Papa are kissing, you are not allowed to push them apart. Do you understand me? You look the other way."
"No." James laughed.
"No?" Richard had not counted on receiving an answer at all. Perhaps he had underestimated the little boy. He looked at Caroline. What had the children understood of all their kissing? It was hardly the first time they had seen it, but he had always been thinking they would not understand what they were seeing.
She smiled. "Oh, Richard. Leave the poor boy alone."
"He should leave us alone," Richard huffed, but with a smile in his eyes.
If one asked his grandmother, James showed an admirable sense of propriety. She had been watching the scene with interest and amusement, but she did not speak. Voicing her pride at her grandson would perhaps lead her son to believe that she approved of such behaviour as he was exhibiting. While she knew she ought not to do these things, he was her son after all and his antics could still make her smile and shake her head. It was hard sometimes, having this for a family and wondering if she was the one to keep them in line.
Julia noticed the gathering by the window, wrinkled her nose at it and turned towards her grandmother. "Play?" she suggested.
There was a reason for Darcy's visit. His sister was of a trying age and the fact that one of his neighbours was going to have his six grandsons over for a lengthy stay had been enough for Darcy to consider a visit to his cousin, who would not have such dangers in his vicinity. He would not dream of telling Georgiana about the real reason, naturally.
Georgiana herself, informed by the hopeful neighbour of his grandsons' visit, was put out by this ill-timed trip. She had been thinking that the six young men would be a nice distraction, something her brother was now preventing. The only nice thing about going to her cousin's had been Captain Riley, but he was likely no longer in the area. Now that Elizabeth had her own baby, not even all of Caroline's twins were an attractive prospect to a bored young girl, especially not if her brother came along for the visit. He was far too protective of her and he practically locked her up, she felt.
Darcy disagreed. He was naturally of the opinion that Georgiana needed the protection. Her age and wealth were making her an all too likely candidate to fall prey to fortune hunters. It had nearly happened once before.
Elizabeth saw no reason to argue with her husband, not after her own sister's experience. That Georgiana was displeased was inherent to her age, Elizabeth thought. She was more used to girls than Darcy was and she was not inclined to take any rebellious pouting very seriously, even though it was highly irritating to sit in a carriage with a girl who could only be contrary.
For her own part she was eager to compare little Victoria's progress to that of other children and to share anecdotes with another mother, so she looked forward to visiting.
Lydia had a child, but she was not a good correspondent, and Jane had so far not been blessed. This was much to Bingley's concern, for he saw one sister bring forth little Fitzwilliams all the time without apparent effort and even Hurst had managed to father a child.
Elizabeth hoped that Jane would soon be with child, if only to set Bingley's mind at ease, for now he frequently wrote to Darcy on the subject and it was becoming a recurring joke, something he did not deserve.
These thoughts spun through her mind as their destination came into view. "Look, Victoria!" she said, hoisting the baby up so she could look outside.
Georgiana made a sound of contempt. "She does not know what she is seeing yet." She was extremely put out and she wanted them to feel it.
Elizabeth chose not to answer, but she shot Darcy an exasperated look. He shrugged imperceptibly. They would soon be there and then they would be able to lose Georgiana in the many rooms and corridors of the house.
Part 84
The Darcys arrived unexpectedly and the family were not prepared. Only Lady Matlock was there to receive the visitors and she was able to tell them that her son and his family were occupied.
Darcy digested this information with a questioning raise of his eyebrows. "Occupied, Aunt?"
"Yes. It happens, unfortunately." That was the best she could do. To reveal precisely what they were occupied with at this hour might do harm to her nephew's facial muscles. Besides, it was difficult to read Darcy's twitches. She wished he would let go. It would make life much easier for those who were speaking to him.
Mr Darcy of Pemberley did not like to feel the way he did, but he could not help it. He felt slightly put out by having travelled all this way with his chagrined sister and then not being met by their hosts -- because they were occupied. He should think he deserved something of a welcome.
"We shall see them soon enough," Elizabeth said in a conciliatory voice when she observed her husband's frown. "I am glad to be here."
Lady Matlock did what was expected and admired Victoria's growth, although she secretly gloated over the comparison with her grandchildren.
Georgiana felt left out. In the past she had always been the one whose progress was admired, but now it seemed as if her development was considered to be at an end. She had felt this before, but she still did not like it and now that Victoria had a few more accomplishments for her mother to boast of, there was no attention for her at all anymore. Her pouting increased.
Darcy sat in silence, wondering what his cousin could possibly be doing that his mother called it occupied. The few things he could think of in general did not involve one's entire family. When his aunt had finished her inspection of Victoria, he felt he could ask a question. "When do you think my cousin will stop being occupied?" He wished to speak with his cousin, or at least to see another man. To sit in silence with Richard would also be acceptable.
"Oh, it is always difficult to tell. It depends," Lady Matlock said vaguely. She did not know whether Darcy knew what they were doing. She thought not, or else he would not ask such a stupid question.
"On what?" he asked before he could stop himself.
"On how much they are enjoying themselves. Since they cannot be interrupted, they cannot be informed that you have arrived and they will not feel any need to hurry." They could be interrupted, if she so chose, but she chose not to disturb them.
Darcy tapped his fingers on his knee in annoyance. He had spent the entire carriage ride waiting and now he was forced to do more waiting in the company of the same people, when he had counted on meeting with something different as soon as he arrived. One glance at his sister told him she was still pouting and not likely to stop soon, and his wife was lifting up the baby to tend to her needs. He was not needed by either of them and he did not need to accompany them out of the room. Only his aunt was left, but he did not feel he could think of anything to say.
"What was your business precisely?" his aunt inquired.
The complete extent of his business was something he could not reveal in front of Georgiana. "I...need to look into some matters I have to purchase," Darcy said evasively. "And I thought it would be a nice diversion for the family to come with me."
Lady Matlock nodded, looking at Georgiana. A nice diversion indeed. She wondered why Darcy had not simply fled his home all by himself. There must be more to it than merely a recalcitrant sister. He was very unwilling to divulge the nature of his business, more so than usual. Perhaps Richard could find it out for her, if he ever left his bath. "Richard is also having a nice diversion with his family," she said, to coax Darcy into revealing more.
"It seems to me he does nothing else." There was a shocking lack of information about how this estate was run in Richard's correspondence. It always made Darcy think the estate was not run at all, as Richard mentioned only trips and activities with wife and children. It would not occur to Darcy to take his wife or daughter with him if he went around on estate business and so he never suspected that the two could be combined. In Darcy's opinion, he would look foolish if he took his wife and not worthy of much respect among his tenants.
"Richard knows how to make life agreeable," Lady Matlock admitted with a smile. In part that was because he was not deterred by people's disapproval.
There was a succession of grimaces on Darcy's face, but he did not speak.
"What are they doing?" Georgiana asked her aunt. She was interested in the opportunity to let her brother know he was too strict and boring. Compared to Richard he certainly would be.
"It is not my task to reveal." His mother only knew Richard was taking a bath with two children. She did not know which ones, but she was sure that for their enjoyment it did not matter. The littlest ones had been brought up in this manner and they did not even know that some people did not enjoy their baths. She had once sat in the bath with Anthony until the water grew cold and Caroline had ordered her out. Neither she nor Anthony had felt this was necessary, but Caroline should be obeyed.
"May I go up to my room, Aunt Maria?" Georgiana asked after a few moments. She would rather be alone than to sit here and have her aunt hint at things she did not understand, but that Fitzwilliam obviously did. It only made her feel young and left out. If it was something she was allowed to know, her aunt would have discussed it openly. This secretiveness led her to think they considered her too young.
Darcy chastised himself for worrying about footmen Georgiana might encounter on her way. He should perhaps be a little more trusting. It was not likely that she would run into danger while going to her room.
As soon as Georgiana had left them, Lady Matlock turned towards her nephew. "Are you having problems with her?"
"Perhaps." Darcy did not like to admit that he might have problems with a member of his family. He should be able to handle these matters.
Perhaps the girl was merely bored. "She needs friends her own age. Does she have any?" Unless a friend had materialised within the last few weeks, Lady Matlock did not think there was one. Georgiana had never written about any close friends.
"Elizabeth."
"That is not what I meant. Elizabeth may be only a few years her senior, but she is a married woman with a child. Her concerns are different."
"She corresponds with Elizabeth's sisters." But this was perhaps an acquaintance encouraged more by Elizabeth than by the girls themselves. The sisters was bad correspondents, for Meryton society offered them enough opportunities to share their excitements at a shorter notice and with immediate feedback.
Upstairs, Caroline was attempting to get her entire menagerie back into clothing. Richard had dressed himself, naturally, but he was making it very hard for her to make any progress with the children. Every time she released James or Julia to pick up another item of clothing, the child escaped towards its father. She constantly had to get them back from there. "I wish you would help," she complained. Usually she had Betty and Susan to help her, but as this had been an unplanned bath, they had gone into town, not knowing they might be needed.
"I am helping." Richard was holding four half-dressed children, making it very easy for Caroline to take the one she wanted to dress, he should think.
"They should stay here."
"But they will not. By making them come here, I am keeping them within your reach. If I did not, they would run off and hide. You know that," he reasoned. Thankfully in the time it had taken to dress himself, Caroline had managed to provide all children with nappies, so that it was no bother at all them to have all four of them all over him. The youngest two could only laugh and grab anyway.
"Please behave like the dignified man you are."
"Do I not look dignified, sitting on the floor?" Richard asked regretfully. He tried to figure out whom to address about pulling his hair. Someone was intent on pulling his hair out. "Who is pulling my hair?"
"Who is not?" Caroline replied dryly, seeing two or three small hands on Richard's head. Since he grimaced, it seemed to hurt him, so she advanced to help him. While she was trying to open Lucinda's small fist, someone undid the cord of her bathrobe. "Richard!" she exclaimed in mild irritation. "Is that really necessary?"
"It was not me!" he defended himself with a snicker. It had not been him this time, but he applauded the move. His children were so obliging. "And I did not put him or her up to it either. I have my hands full."
"Do not open Mama's bathrobe," Caroline said tersely to no one in particular. "And do not pull Papa's hair." She finally managed to get all hands off Richard's head and straightened her back to tie her bathrobe properly again.
"They want you to get dressed, Caroline. They were only helping." He had to laugh at her exasperation.
"Yes, I am sure they were." The most annoying thing was that Richard was probably right about it.
"Get dressed while I keep them busy," he said encouragingly. She had to get out of his sight or else he would become mischievous -- and that would not do for the dignified man he was.
Caroline did not reply, but left the room to get dressed.
Richard knew that would take her some fifteen minutes, so he lay down on his back, perhaps not the most dignified position to be in, but certainly the easiest if there were two babies and two toddlers around him. "Julia," he said to the one who was most likely to do what he said. "Get your clothes. There."
Julia looked at him as if she wondered why that was necessary. It took some repeating the order before she walked over to where Caroline had put every child's clothes. She stood looking at the piles and returned with a shirt.
Richard observed what she had brought him. It was awfully tiny. "Very good, but now bring me a bigger shirt. That is Lucinda's shirt."
Julia responded by bringing him something else, just as tiny. James joined in and together they managed to transfer the four neat piles into one messy heap next to Richard. That was not all bad, he decided, even though Caroline would scream if she saw it. He sat up and rested the babies against his thigh. He could now dress them, even if the two other little savages created mischief in the meantime. He would allow them to walk around with clothing on their heads, as long as it was not baby clothing.
Part 85
By the time Caroline came back, both youngest babies were dressed. Richard was very proud of himself. He gave his wife a triumphant look. She had to show a little appreciation for what he had accomplished in her absence. It was no small feat.
She looked at her children with a critical eye. They looked very decent, but not fashionable. She had just been informed of visitors, people she suspected of looking at what her children were wearing. "We have visitors, it appears. Perhaps the babies should wear --"
"-- this," Richard said decisively. He was not going to undress them again. Besides, he had dressed them himself. "If this is good enough for us, it must be good enough for our visitors."
"Yes, but…" Caroline was still hesitant. The plain white baby gowns were quite plain.
"They are babies. We are not better parents if we dress them differently. Who are here?"
"Darcy and family."
"Already?" Richard wondered. "And why did my mother not inform me?"
"Stupid question," was Caroline's opinion. She reached for a passing child. It was Julia. She knelt beside Richard and dug in the small pile of clothes. "Hmm, you have a point," she said to Richard, thinking about his comment.
"But?" He looked at her inquiringly. She was bound to have a point about his point.
"No but."
"There is always a but. I would not know what to do with you otherwise."
"Poor man." She was silent while she dressed Julia, but she was still reflecting on the matter. "And it is all useless anyway, because they are Fitzwilliams."
If they were called Fitzwilliams by Caroline, it was usually because of some less than positive character trait. Richard was well aware of that. He was also aware of the fact that he was likely to disagree with her about this character trait, which always very annoyingly seemed to prove her point. "How come they are not Bingleys in this particular respect you are speaking of?"
"How could they be?" She was almost surprised. It was only marginally feigned surprise.
"I could comment on that if I knew what it was."
"I had best keep you in the dark then."
"I really dislike it when you do that."
"No, you do not. It will give you something to think about for an entire evening or more." He would keep trying to find out what it was. Caroline was certain that he enjoyed that. It had often ended quite agreeably.
"Not more." He had begun to dress James and he needed all his wits for that, but after that was all done he was confident he would be able to make Caroline confess very quickly.
Darcy got up with hopeful enthusiasm when his cousin entered the room. It was slightly tempered by the sight of the baby in Fitzwilliam's arms and the two small attendants darting around his legs. If Caroline was following to take care of all that, they might have the opportunity for a good chat.
"Darcy! Good to see you." Richard could not deny that it was sometimes very pleasant to see a male family member over the age of two. He greeted his cousin and made the twins greet him too, an undertaking at which he did not quite succeed. They thought Darcy was very interesting, but they were unwilling to speak to him.
"Hungry," said Julia when she felt sufficiently ignored. Her father had sat down with this man and he seemed to have forgotten all about her. She hit him on the knees. "Hungry!"
Richard did not think it a good idea to teach her how to ring for a servant, or indeed how to ring a bell at all. That was something for when they were less likely to abuse the skill. Perhaps he should wait until they were twenty, but by that time they would have figured it out themselves. They were little Bingleys. Of course they would abuse the bell pull and call servants at every little whim. "The dilemmas of parenting," he sighed.
"What is the dilemma?" Darcy saw none. A father had nothing to do with hungry children. That was why there were mothers -- or even servants.
"Do you not see it, Darcy?"
"Not at all."
"Oh, why not?"
Now that Darcy was a parent himself, he felt he could speak with authority on the subject. "They should not be fed outside meal times. They should be taught that. That is one thing. The other…" He hesitated. They were bound to disagree with him in this house. They always did. "I think their mother should take care of it."
"When they are a little bigger that is no longer necessary," Richard lectured in case Darcy did not know. "Eventually they want to drink from cups like ordinary people. Once they get the hang of drinking they can do so without emptying the cup over their clothes."
"That is not quite what I meant."
"Some notions are highly impractical. Where is their mother?" He looked around himself. "She is not here." He knew where she was, but Darcy did not. "She might be a while. What am I supposed to do with these two then?"
"Tell them you have no food."
"They know that, or else they would have taken it from me already," Richard said dryly. He was now being pounded on by four little fists and he quite enjoyed the determination in their eyes, but it became less when he looked back at them. All they wanted was attention.
James pointed at the door. It was not entirely clear what he meant or wanted. Darcy could not tell, at any rate.
Richard looked at his watch. It was nearly time for something to eat. They were quite right about that. He expected Caroline any second now and he became rather shifty, as her arrival might prove Darcy right. She had gone to the kitchen, after all, for some mashed bananas for the baby twins, but she might bring back some for the others as well.
Ever since his childhood he had not been able to let Darcy get away with being right, because he was younger. While their ages did not matter anymore, Darcy's being right still did. Richard frowned. He could not let that happen. "Watch her for a moment," he said as he got up and handed Lucinda to his cousin.
Darcy was hopeful of giving the baby to his aunt, but the other two children climbed onto her after either a gesture from her or a word from Fitzwilliam. He had missed what it had been. Before he could say anything, the eldest twins were on their grandmother's lap and Fitzwilliam was out of the room. He had forgotten that the Matlocks tended to do this and he resigned himself to the fact that it would happen many more times during his stay. He had better become acquainted with all the little Fitzwilliams, so they would not begin to cry after Papa or Mama had dropped them in Darcy's lap. "Which one is this?" he asked his aunt.
"I think I heard him ask you to watch her. It must be Lucinda."
"Oh, of course." Darcy felt silly. He tried to make it up to the baby by smiling at her. She smiled back at him tentatively. That was a good sign, he supposed.
"Hungry," said Julia to her grandmother, in case it was not yet clear to everyone that she wanted some food.
"Me too," James added.
"You will be given something to eat very shortly," Lady Matlock promised. "But first we must entertain Uncle Darcy. Shall we sing him a song?"
Darcy wanted to say that was really not necessary, but they had already started. To Darcy it appeared that for the twins singing was merely a permission to hum very loudly out of tune, because he did not recognise any sounds as actual words. He was very glad when his cousin returned, followed by a servant with two plates.
"No singing, please," Richard requested. The servant set the plates on the coffee table and disappeared, while the twins looked confused that the singing had stopped. "Eat," he told them and they slid off their grandmother's lap with cries of joy. He retrieved the baby from Darcy and sat back down again. "What is taking the ladies so long?" he asked, as if he had not just encountered Caroline in the kitchen.
"They probably ran into each other in another part of the house and consequently forgot all about us," Darcy predicted.
"Caroline would never forget about me," Richard was quick to reply. He was grateful to his cousin for giving him this opportunity and he grinned widely. Darcy was still as easy a victim as ever.