Beginning, Section II, Next Section
Part 14
After exchanging a few looks, Caroline and Richard saw Darcy's physician before he left. She would have taken her mother-in-law, but Lady Matlock did not know anything yet, so she did not want to give her false hope. All this was based on Mrs. Bennet's assumptions, and Caroline would feel very stupid if anyone heard that she had had enough faith in Mrs. Bennet's words to consult a doctor if it then all turned out to be a false alarm.
It was not, however, and Caroline was pleased that Richard even smiled at the idea. He seemed to have recovered completely. The doctor spoke to Richard privately about things that were not meant for delicate female ears, but as soon as the man had left Richard proceeded to repeat it word for word to Caroline.
"I am glad I have you," she said when they had talked about it. "Somebody else might keep me uninformed, and I should hate to feel uninformed." Caroline smiled at him. They were standing in the hall again and they were dangerously close to crossing the border of propriety, which was not so bad if this happened at Matlock, but this was not their home, and therefore it was not surprising that they heard a little warning cough.
It was Lady Matlock. "Children," she said admonishingly.
"Yes, Mama?" Richard smiled charmingly.
"Nothing," said Lady Matlock. "Yet. But behave yourselves. Do not give me that smile. You know what I mean. As my son, you are by no means stupid."
Caroline giggled. "Now I know where you get your ideas, Richard," she teased him.
"And you," he countered. "Are your children not exceptionally clever?" he repeated her words of the day before. "You have it from Mother as well. She influences us a great deal. We have everything from Mother."
Lady Matlock wagged her finger. "Do not think you can blame me for all your behaviour. Your father and I never misbehaved the way you two do."
Richard snorted. "There you go, Caroline. It is obviously a Bingley thing. My mother says so, and as my mother, she is by no means stupid."
"I had never dreamt of misbehaving until I met - until a good while after I met you," said Caroline.
"And the same holds true for me, so it is still because of you."
"Richard," his mother interrupted and he smiled at her. "Do not give me that look."
"I have found out," Caroline whispered to her. "That it works to fight fire with fire -- not blank stares, because then he will try even harder, but returning the smile very often flusters him."
The two ladies stared at Richard, who was beginning to feel uncomfortable, especially when they started whispering and smiled at him. He was sure they were talking about him. "What are you saying?" he asked.
"This is mother-business, my dear," said Lady Matlock. "We were talking about our sons."
"I have one too," he protested. "Why can you not say it to me?"
"Because you are one of them. We cannot reveal our strategies in dealing with you lot. You would take advantage of that. Do you think the children would enjoy seeing the baby?" Lady Matlock asked.
"They had better enjoy seeing a baby." Richard's eyes sparkled.
"Indeed!" Caroline added. "They will not be able to escape the sight in a few months."
"Who will have one? You?" Lady Matlock asked incredulously, and when Caroline nodded, she kissed her. "That is wonderful. And for you too, Richard." She kissed him as well.
They all went upstairs and collected the twins from the nursery. "That is a baby," Richard said, as he showed her to the twins. "Baby. Does she have a name yet, Darcy?"
"Victoria Anne Elizabeth."
"Oh, Mr. Darcy!" Caroline exclaimed in dismay. "A name with a V?"
"I see you stuck nicely to your side of the alphabet," Richard commented with a grin. He knew Darcy had chosen regardless of his teasing, but it was a nice coincidence he could not pass over.
"I hope you did not listen to Richard," Caroline said to Darcy, who looked a bit concerned that she did not approve of Victoria. "You do not know what you are doing to me. I have to live with the man."
"To our mutual satisfaction," Richard countered.
"Yes, but - oh! He tells you to stick to M to Z, and you do it! I would have --"
"You would have given it an A to L name," said Richard. "That is why I would tell you the opposite from what I want."
"I am not that easily figured out," Caroline protested. "By the way, I do like Victoria."
"She is very pretty," said Darcy, who was still holding the baby.
"I have hardly seen her yet," Elizabeth smiled. "William has been keeping her to himself all the while."
"I did not know it had been that long," he said immediately. "You should have said so. Of course you must hold her. Oh!" he said delightedly. "She yawned."
Several people in the room giggled, Georgiana especially, because she had often been reprimanded for yawning in company.
Part 15
While all Darcys and Mrs. Bennet remained upstairs with the baby, the Fitzwilliams descended and had supper downstairs. After supper they played a round of cards, hoping that somebody else would come down. Nobody did.
"Had you wished to continue?" Lady Matlock said after they had finished the first round.
"Does that mean you are giving up?" Richard asked.
"Yes, I am tired. I am sorry if I am spoiling your game."
"Do not worry. We are quite apt at playing two hands," Caroline said. Lady Matlock wished them a good night and went to bed.
"Would you like some wine?" Richard asked.
"Yes, please."
Richard rang and asked for a bottle of wine to be brought to them. Meanwhile, he shuffled the cards and dealt them. "We will most likely not be disturbed," he smiled. "Darcy has it bad."
"Indeed he does," said Caroline, looking at the way he dealt the cards.
The wine was brought in and the game could begin. "Why would you not have liked it if Darcy had really listened to me?" Richard asked.
Caroline took a sip of wine. "Because you would not have stopped talking about it."
"He did not listen to me and I am still talking about it."
"Are you saying that you would not have stopped talking about it in either way?"
"I do not know that. It has not worked out both ways."
"Why do you play that card?" Caroline exclaimed. "I do not like it at all. You are obstructing my path to victory."
"Have you been reading dictionaries?" Richard asked suspiciously.
"Not in the past few years."
"Madwoman." He refilled their glasses.
"Thank you for the compliment, Lord Matlock," Caroline said graciously. "To be classed among the likes of your own mad self. I must be in good company."
"You are very welcome. I am indeed very accomplished in all matters of madness."
"Perhaps it is not good manners to say that you are," Caroline suggested. "At least, that is what I have always been told. You ought to be modest about it."
"Only verbally. But you were right, I suppose. I should make veiled suggestions to you to compliment me on my accomplishments, should I not? And you should be modest too, when you accept compliments. Let us start over. You are a madwoman, Lady Matlock," he said in an admiring tone.
"Thank you for the compliment, Lord Matlock," Caroline said with a demure giggle. "But I am sure I am not! I always see so many ladies who are so much more insane than I am. I am sure I do not deserve the compliment," she battered her eyelashes furiously.
Richard played his cards while he thought of a suitable rejoinder. "But you do, Lady Matlock!" he said fervently. "You are indeed very accomplished in all matters of madness."
"I am not nearly as accomplished as you are, my Lord."
"Oh, I am not at all accomplished," Richard said modestly. "That is merely an ill-founded rumour."
"But I have it from a very reliable source! And my source cannot be but right," Caroline said with her eyes open wide while she refilled their glasses for a second time. "You are! You are insane! But I find it very admirable in you to be so modest about it. You are truly a gentleman."
"Bows and grows," said Richard.
"It is not very gentleman-like to be so cryptic."
"The gentleman bows, and his self-esteem grows. Now what? What does the manual for gentleman-like behaviour say next?"
"I have no idea. I have never read it, since I never really aspired to become a gentleman," said Caroline apologetically.
"Good! Because you complement me, as a lady."
"I compliment you, as a lady?" Caroline echoed while she counted her points and wrote them down. "Do you mean you deserve compliments because you are a gentleman? Oh, Richard!" she sounded a little disgusted. "Really! I have never thought gentlemen in general deserve too many compliments. I usually find a lot lacking in random gentlemen. How many points?"
"Four. What do random gentlemen lack?" he asked curiously, trying to suppress his laughter. I said complement, not compliment!
"I shall not tell you, since you will then only try to convince me that you do possess all the character traits and accomplishments and habits that I enumerated, or the opposite of them if they happen to be negative."
Richard filled up their glasses again. "I can see why you would rather not have me do that," he grinned. "For if I say that I do possess all that, and taking into account that I complement you, it follows that you do not possess it."
Caroline kicked him. "Next round," she said briskly and began to deal the cards. Richard laughed and loosened his cravat while he drank a little more of his wine.
Part 16
"Oh! I do not know which card to play," said Caroline with a frown. "Will you advise me?"
"If you show me your cards I will," Richard grinned.
Caroline held out her cards, but then realised that showing her cards to her opponent was not very wise if she wanted to win, so she pulled her hand back. "No, no, you cheat."
"You asked my advice!"
"I know, but if I show you my cards in good faith, you will take advantage of it."
"I am not like that!" he protested.
"Alright. I shall show you only the relevant cards." Caroline showed him a 9 and a 10.
"Hmm," Richard said pensively. "That is a difficult choice. There is of course absolutely no difference between playing one or the other. Therefore we must concentrate on the side issues."
"Side issues," Caroline repeated flatly.
"Such as aesthetics. Which one is the prettier card?"
Caroline looked from one card to the other. "I cannot decide."
"So we cannot determine which ugly card you would want to get rid of first. Hmm. Which do you prefer, even or uneven?"
"Even, I think."
"So that would mean you could play the 9."
Caroline played the 9 and Richard ordered a new bottle of wine. "Excuse me for a minute," said Caroline. She took a few steps towards the door and then returned and took her cards with her. "You will look into them," she explained.
When she returned, Richard got up. "And now me," he announced and took his cards with him as well. As he came back into the room he saw that Caroline had placed a few bronze statues on the table. "Have we got company?" he asked.
"I was feeling lonely."
"But this one is undressed," Richard pointed at a Greek goddess. "How very cold she must be." He wrapped his handkerchief around the statue.
"You would have made a very bad tailor," Caroline said critically, and giggled.
"I think it looks very fashionable." Richard adjusted his cravat around a bigger statue. "I wish we had marbles," he said.
"What for?" Caroline asked curiously as she tried to guess whether the Queen of spades was in Richard's right hand or his left. Only his right hand still had to play.
"We could play until one of us has lost all his marbles."
"Oh, how?"
"We start with an equal amount and every time you lose, you pay me a marble. You are actually supposed to play this with money, but this is the children's version of it."
Caroline decided to risk it and played the 9 of spades, but she had been unlucky, because Richard had the Queen, which he played triumphantly. They had no marbles, but perhaps something else would do just as well. "Would you object to hairpins?"
"I am principally against hairpins, except when they are in your hair during a ball. On all other occasions I object."
"Instead of marbles?" Caroline started to pull them out of her hair and one by one the strands of hair started to fall.
Richard watched, fascinated by the large number of pins that came out of her hair. "It looks like it will be a long game before one of us loses them all. Some more wine?"
"Yes, please." Caroline divided her hairpins into two piles and pushed one towards Richard.
Half an hour later Caroline was playing so very stupidly indeed that she played cards at random, and it was not very surprising when she was the first to lose all her hairpins. "Wait," Richard said suddenly. "I am two people, but I am only one person. I cannot play against myself. You must come and sit here to play one of my hands."
Caroline placed one arm around his neck and sat down in his lap. She frowned at the cards she had place face up on the table so she would not have to hold them. "Play a spade," Richard suggested and Caroline's finger hovered hesitantly over the Queen of Hearts. "No, a spade. This one." He pushed the 7 of clubs towards the middle of the table.
"That is clubs."
"No, it is spades."
"Clubs!"
"You cannot tell anymore. You have had too much wine."
"I had just as much as you," she pointed out. "And this bottle is nearly full. We did not have so very much at all."
"I suppose not," Richard said in a tone so cheerful that it drained the last vestiges of energy out of him. He suddenly felt very tired, but his bedchamber was so extremely far away. And the stairs! Oh! The stairs! His chair was very uncomfortable and he could not lean back in it. He stood up and dragged Caroline to a couch because she seemed unable to walk by herself. He sat down heavily, placing Caroline next to him.
"Tired," she mumbled and fell against him. "Can you carry me upstairs? I do not think I can walk."
"Walk? Carry you?" He moaned. "One minute. I must gain some strength first." He closed his eyes.
Part 17
Mrs. Reynolds made her customary early morning round and looked if the house was in good order before the family came down. The cook and the kitchen maids were already at work in the kitchen, and she stopped briefly to oversee things. All went well there and she moved on to the breakfast parlour, where the breakfast table was set to her satisfaction.
"Mrs. Reynolds?" one of the footmen asked.
"Yes, Frank?" She wondered what he was doing up so early. Frank had been on evening duty yesterday and so was he today.
"Could you some to see this in the drawing room, Mrs. Reynolds? I'm not sure what to do with it."
"What is this?" Mrs. Reynolds asked as she followed him.
"I should have done something about it last night, but I didn't know what," he apologised. "So I waited until you were up." Mrs. Reynolds was always up early, but that also meant she went to bed early.
Mrs. Reynolds smiled when she saw the clothed statues. Is this what Frank needed me to see? "Who did that?" Her eye fell on the embroidered initials on the handkerchief. "Stupid question."
"Should I...undress them, Mrs. Reynolds?" He was a little amazed that she had not seen the couch, and that was really the most important thing.
"You do that, Frank." She looked at the other items on the table. Apart from the half-empty wine bottle and two glasses it was scattered with hairpins and cards, and the scores had been written down in an increasingly untidy hand on a sheet of paper. "And all because of wine!" she remarked, touching the bottle.
"A bottle and a half," Frank replied, folding up the handkerchief and the cravat.
"A bottle and a half?" Mrs. Reynolds cried, taking the cloths from him and wrapping them around the hairpins. "What else happened?"
"That," Frank nodded discreetly towards one of the couches.
Mrs. Reynolds swallowed as she took in the man sleeping while seated on the couch with his feet on the table, and the woman seated in his lap with her head on his shoulder and her hair hiding her face, probably asleep as well. "Did they spend the night here?" They were wearing their evening clothes.
"I believe so."
"Get Cook to make that special brew for inebriated young men and have it sent up to their room. I think it might be useful," Mrs. Reynolds ordered. As Frank left the room she moved closer. They could not stay here. The rest of the family would soon be down, and they were not fit to be seen, because they looked quite dishevelled. "Master Richard," she said sternly. He did not stir, so she gave his one free shoulder a hearty shake. It did not accomplish anything, and neither did shaking the young Lady Matlock. They were fast asleep. She walked to the kitchen for a bucket of water and emptied it above their heads.
This worked better, for Caroline pushed her hair out of her eyes and Richard moaned. "My head."
"I feel sick," Caroline announced and reached for the bucket.
While Caroline was making use of the bucket, Richard looked around himself wonderingly. "Oh! Are we still here? Caroline, you are making me sick too, stop that."
"I feel bad," said Caroline, resting her head against Richard.
"You have had too much wine, Lady Matlock," said Mrs. Reynolds. "Cook has made you a special brew, but before you take it I think it is wisest to get you out of here."
"Oh, I cannot walk, I am sure." Caroline attempted to stand up and swayed. "Bucket!" she gasped.
"I am never going to drink again," Richard grimaced.
"Me neither! Cursed wine."
Mrs. Reynolds escorted them upstairs and saw to it that they safely reached their room, where they immediately fell on the bed heavily and looked at her pathetically. She placed the cravat and the handkerchief on a table and poured them a drink. "Here, drink this. It will make you feel better."
While they were swallowing the foul-tasting liquid, two small pair of feet dribbled into the bedchamber. "Mama!"
Caroline groaned.
Chapter 18
"How do they manage to escape every time?" Richard asked incredulously. "How did you get out of bed, young lady?" He grabbed Julia and set her on the bed, only to see her fall off again very expertly. "Ahh. Problem solved."
James wanted a bit of Caroline's drink, which she was sipping with a disgusted expression on her face. "No," she said.
James stamped his feet and waved his arms. "Dwing!" he whined.
"No. Mama's drink."
"Will you be requiring breakfast?" Mrs. Reynolds asked. She highly doubted that. Lady Matlock's face had a sickly colour, and anything going into her stomach was bound to come out twice as fast.
"Not me, no," said Richard with a shudder. Breakfast was not the first thing on his mind. "But I think he does," he nodded at James who was still whining at the unyielding Caroline. "We shall change and take them down for breakfast.
"That does not seem very wise to me," Mrs. Reynolds cut in. "Lady Matlock seems to suffer far more than you and perhaps it would be better if she rested a bit." She never had much sympathy for the drunk, but this was the first time she witnessed the effects of too much drink on a lady, and she pitied her a little.
"Of course, I am not pregnant," Richard frowned. He wished James would stop whining. It was splitting his head in two.
"It will be over soon," Caroline said bravely. "I have had it before."
"Was that twice as bad?" Richard asked.
"No."
"Oh. So it does not follow that twins make you twice as sick?"
"I do not think so." Caroline pressed her hands to her stomach.
Mrs. Reynolds felt decidedly more sympathy for pregnant women than for drunk women and when she concluded that Lady Matlock must be pregnant, she looked at her with compassion. "I shall take them downstairs until you are ready, Master Richard," she offered.
"They are not changed and dressed yet," Caroline protested in a weak voice. " I do believe everybody would want them to be changed."
Caroline began to change a nappy, but Richard soon sent her back to bed and took over, much to Mrs. Reynolds's great surprise. "Yes, I can do this too, Mrs. Reynolds," he informed her. "Do not tell anyone, though. It might do serious damage to my image. If you do tell somebody, please tell them that I do it very badly, like a real man, when the truth of course is that if you are competent enough to tie a cravat, you can also change a nappy, since both involve a piece of cloth." When Richard had done both he sent them to Mrs. Reynolds, who grasped their little hands firmly and took them away.
Everybody looked at Richard when he came into the breakfast parlour with the twins. He was well-dressed as usual, but he looked unusually pale. He seated the children next to one another and sat down to their right so he could keep an eye on them both.
"Do they eat here?" Mrs. Bennet asked interestedly. She would have had an attack of nerves from any other child, but she could stand James very well, and Julia too, because she was his sister.
Richard said nothing. He was afraid he might be too rude. His headache prevented him from being tactful, but he thought it was a stupid question to ask when she saw quite clearly that they were handed a piece of bread.
"They often do," said Lady Matlock. "It livens up the breakfast table."
Richard groaned. It livened it up a little too loudly to be comfortable. A sharp pain shot through his head every time he had to pick up James's piece of bread from the floor. James seems to be turning into a cruel little fellow. He never drops anything and now that I cannot bend over, he does it on purpose.
"Are you not eating anything?" his mother asked.
Richard eyed the food. The thought alone made him sick. "No."
"I know you like to share in Caroline's circumstances, but do you not think you are taking matters a little too far?"
"No."
"You must at least drink something," Lady Matlock urged.
"I had something to drink already. Mrs. Reynolds brought it up."
Darcy looked up attentively. Mrs. Reynolds never brought any drinks up, unless it was for people who were drunk or ill. To ask whether Fitzwilliam had been drunk or ill was a little too blunt, he thought. "Was it green or brown?"
Richard frowned. "It was disgusting."
"Yes, but which colour?"
"Indefinite. Brown." He observed Darcy nod knowingly and realised that Darcy was well aware of the uses for the different special brews that came out of his kitchen.
"I have not had that pleasure in years," Darcy commented.
"It was your wine, Darcy. Nothing is withholding you from trying it."
Georgiana gasped at this insult of her brother's wine cellar, but Darcy merely laughed.
Part 19
Caroline recovered after a while, and decided to pay a visit to Elizabeth, who was still confined to her rooms. The others were probably still at breakfast, or going about their morning pursuits. If Richard wished to get rid of the children he would bring them to her, but she was not going to volunteer yet by going downstairs.
Elizabeth was awake and reading. Little Victoria was silent, for which Caroline was very grateful. "Good morning," she said.
"Good morning," Elizabeth greeted her. "Are you not at breakfast or have you finished already?"
"Oh," Caroline waved with a sigh. "I shall have it later, perhaps. How is your daughter this morning?"
"She is very well."
Caroline walked over and looked at the baby. "She is sleeping. Very good."
"Would you mind if she was awake?"
"If she cried, I would. I have a slight headache," Caroline explained. "I have no objections to children who are awake quietly this morning."
"Where are yours?"
"With their father, unless he passed them onto their grandmother, or to someone else."
"Why, does he have a headache too?" Elizabeth teased and Victoria began to cry. "Oh dear. She must be hungry." Caroline lifted Victoria out of her cradle and carried her to Elizabeth so she would not have to get out of bed. By the time she got there, the baby was already quiet. "I am not sure I could have handled two of them! One of them puzzles me enough as it is. Why was she crying now?"
"Their crying always puzzled me extremely too," said Caroline. "In the first few days especially, when I was all alone with the nurse -- and my mother-in-law, but she could not spend whole days with me, of course, so I was practically all alone with the nurse, and I took care to recover very quickly so I could move about freely again. I do not like being confined and asking for this or that to be brought up."
The ladies shuddered in unison. "I hope I shall recover soon, too," said Elizabeth.
"At least you have more people with you."
Elizabeth laughed. "That is true. I am very grateful for Georgiana. And my mother of course, although she cannot help looking for suitors for Victoria already."
"I...noticed," Caroline said dryly.
"And Mama Caroline will never give her consent."
"Well," said Caroline rationally. "Although I understand your mother's motives perfectly well - having been guilty of having similar ones in the past -- I do not think James is quite old enough to spring an engagement onto him, and what if he turns out to be a sort of Richard, but then worse? You might regret ever planning your daughter's union to a wicked little Fitzwilliam. Besides, we would become a very isolated family if we only married amongst ourselves. I know I set a bad example by marrying my brother's wife's brother-in-law's cousin, or my brother's sister-in-law's husband's cousin, but at least we shared no blood ties."
"You got what you always wanted, however," Elizabeth remarked archly.
"Yes, I have always particularly wanted two crying babies," said Caroline in a dry tone.
"I was referring to your titled husband," Elizabeth giggled.
"Oh, him! Yes, that was quite ironic, although I liked Colonel Fitzwilliam just as much. He was quite dashing in his regimentals once I learned to appreciate colonels. Probably when I found out that 'Colonel' was as good a title as any."
Elizabeth had never found the Colonel as dashing as Darcy and she giggled again. Caroline sounded extremely silly.
"Do you not agree with me, Elizabeth?" Caroline asked seriously.
"Umm...well..."
"Do not tell me you think he is ugly!"
"No, I do not, but I prefer dark haired men."
"Oh. I do not."
"You used to," Elizabeth pointed out.
"Yes, but that was before I realised that I did not," said Caroline.
Elizabeth snorted. "Will you go to London for the Season?"
"Oh, I think not."
"That is a pity, because Georgiana wanted to go and I do not think I shall be going. Why are you not going? Did you not like it last year?"
"I amused myself tolerably well, but I rather suppose I shall be busy with the children."
"You were not too busy last year, and they were younger then," Elizabeth said with a puzzled look on her face. "Are they growing more ungovernable as they grow older?"
"That too. But it is mainly because number three will announce itself around that time."
"Oh!" Elizabeth cried. "Number three! I am very happy for you. Can you see it yet?" Caroline pulled her gown tight. "Yes, you can."
Caroline laughed. "I thought I had been eating too much over the past few weeks. I never suspected... Perhaps Georgiana could go with Lady Catherine?"
"Can we do that to her?"
Part 20
Both of Georgiana's guardians had sent off missives with regard to her Season to their aunt when the Fitzwilliams had returned home to Matlock. Their wives had put them up to it. A reply was so long in coming, however, that Caroline feared that her Ladyship felt herself quite unequal to the task of chaperoning Georgiana. An exchange of letters with Elizabeth told her that the Darcys had not received any tidings from Lady Catherine either, and Caroline wrote to Rosings in order to obtain more information. Anne and Colonel Marsden were happily settled there and they kept up a regular correspondence with their cousins in the north. And it was Anne who had some interesting news for them.
"My mother and the General shall most likely not leave Northanger Abbey during that period," Caroline read out loud.
"Why not?" Richard asked. "The General will go mad if he is locked up with her for so long!"
"Hush! I have not got to the reasons yet. Due to circumstances..."
"Circumstances?"
"...but it is not my place to reveal the particular nature of those circumstances."
Richard frowned. "A secret Anne cannot let us in on? The General already went mad, and he is now secretly being treated in Bedlam?"
"Richard!" said his mother. "Perhaps one of them is ill. What else does Anne write?"
"Nothing of importance," said Caroline, quickly scanning the letter.
They all thought hard on what could be preventing Lady Catherine from going to London, and though some of them toyed with the correct idea, none of them seriously believed it. It was something to tease about, but not something that would really happen in true life. Besides, would Lady Catherine not have informed them if it really was true?
The next day saw the arrival of a letter from Lady Catherine herself, for Lady Matlock. "Oh dear!" she said in consternation as she read it.
"What, Mother?"
"It is from your Aunt Catherine. It appears that -" Lady Matlock tried to stifle her laughter and to pull a serious face when she imparted such serious news. "It appears that she cannot go to London because -"
Richard and Caroline awaited her next words eagerly.
"-because she is expecting a child. Catherine! A child!"
"I knew it," Caroline cried triumphantly.
"So the General has not gone mad?" Richard asked in a disappointed tone.
"Not yet," said his mother, unable to control her mischievousness. "He will, though. He seemed to have outgrown small children and he will need some time to get used to it."
"But who shall take Georgiana?" Caroline asked. She looked at Lady Matlock.
"Somebody who has not been felled by the baby fever," said Richard.
"It shall not be me," said Lady Matlock. "I am staying here. Depending on when your baby comes I might even go to Catherine, but I shall not go to London. I could ask one of my friends to chaperone Georgiana." She had many friends in Town.
Caroline suspected that the ladies who had done the same for her had been paid quite handsomely by her father for introducing her and Louisa to proper society, but she knew Lady Matlock was not going to pay her friends for it.
"I shall discuss it with Georgiana when they come here next week," Lady Matlock nodded as if she approved of her own idea very well.
Many of their relatives were coming to Matlock for Christmas and Caroline and Lady Matlock were very busy arranging matters beforehand so they would not have to do it when everybody was there. They usually worked together, because that worked best. Lady Matlock still felt useful now that she was training her successor, and Caroline could avoid those awkward moments such as Elizabeth seemed to have now and then. Caroline knew she could have run the house without assistance, but she also knew that she had had to learn how to go out and deal with the tenants. If Lady Matlock had not taken her with her and done what Caroline was supposed to do, she was sure she would have made a terrible mess of it. The fact that she had two babies made a great difference in their attitude towards her, although the tenants did not get to see them very often because the Lady Matlocks were afraid that they children might catch a disease. It was not that their tenants were always spreading diseases, the Dowager Lady Matlock had explained, but the risk was greater, especially with such small infants.
The next week, Catherine, Philip, and the two boys were the first to arrive. Robert now had a little brother and although he was very disappointed that Edward could not do anything yet, he was also very proud of him. "I have a brother, I have a brother!" he shouted as he perceived his grandmother, uncle and aunt.
Lady Matlock had been there when little Edward had been born - she was beginning to feel as if her whole life was revolving around the younger generation's lying-in - but Robert seemed to have forgotten that. Richard had also seen him, and only Caroline had not, because the twins had been recovering from an illness at that time. "Where is he then?" Lady Matlock asked.
"In there," Robert pointed at his mother who was carrying a white bundle. Everybody admired the baby when they were all inside, because it was very cold outside, and the baby began to cry. "Mama, he is hungry!" Robert cried expertly, but nobody was looking down at him, so he looked around himself and noticed the twins, hidden behind Caroline's gown. "Who are you?" he demanded of Julia. He had not seen her for several months.
"Julia," said Richard when she said nothing, and Julia looked up at him curiously.
"Julia," Robert said and Julia, who was in the habit of repeating every word that did not sound too difficult, repeated him, and James after her. "Robert," Robert introduced himself formally with a bow.
"Wobert," she repeated, trying to bow too, and again James did the same and they both giggled at the funny Robert.
If they always repeated everything he did, that could be fun, Robert thought, and his naughty mind immediately conjured up things he could get them to do.
Part 21
They were all sitting down and having a cup of tea while Catherine and Philip were telling them what had happened in town. "There was an enormous scandal when Miss Rose eloped with one of the footmen, and..."
James's crying distracted Caroline, and she turned her head to see what was wrong with him, but he only appeared to be upset that Robert had taken his ball, so Caroline returned her attention to Catherine's story.
"...was understandably distressed..."
She did not want everyone to think that she was indulging James too much, even if he was definitely the 'little one' of the two. It is not so much development as attitude, she reflected. He likes to play baby.
"...new fashions, ridiculous..."
Caroline knew she ought to pay attention to new fashions and so she tried to listen, but she was distracted yet again by a book that was being dropped in her lap. But he is no baby. He knows very well what he wants. I must read to him. She pulled James onto her lap and he smiled happily. See? she told herself triumphantly. I understood him. I feel so clever now! A detached part of mind commented that it was very strange that she found this infinitely more satisfying than listening to descriptions of new fashions. Julia climbed onto her other leg and they began reading and watching the pictures.
Catherine noticed that Caroline was no longer reachable, even if she was sitting within hearing distance, and she continued to her mother alone, while the two men went out for a ride and Robert asked permission to play outside. To his great relief he discovered three boys there who were able to speak and play, and they had a great time throwing snowballs.
When Caroline finished reading she noticed that the room had emptied. She had not really paid attention to the others leaving so it surprised her a little. James was turning back the pages to the beginning for a second reading of the same book, but Caroline felt this would be a little too much. She already had to read this book to them several times a day, and they were improving greatly, because they were able to point out anything in the images that she told them to. After the mental exercise they needed a little physical exercise, she thought, and it was nice that it had begun to snow, because they had never seen snow. She dressed them up warmly and took them out. At first they were a little afraid of these white things falling from the sky, and of the world beginning to look different, but when they were not hurt by it they dared to walk through it, holding firmly on to Caroline.
Caroline saw four boys busy making a snowman and she walked over. Three of the four boys almost sprang to attention, and she recognised them as belonging to either to coachman or the cook, or both. They were afraid that she would tell them they had no business here. Only Robert dared to speak. "We are making a snowman," he said proudly.
"I can see that. He looks very well-done," she praised. "But you need an old hat and a carrot for his nose."
The three boys still looked apprehensive, but if they kept Robert busy, Caroline was not going to send them away.
"Go ask at the house," she said, but they did not move. "Really."
The three exchanged looks and one ran off very quickly before she could change her mind.
James kicked a hole in the snowman. "James!" Caroline pulled him away. "No." While she bent over to retie the laces of James's boots Julia threw some snow at her and laughed when Caroline screamed because the snow slid down her neck.
All the boys laughed heartily, but pulled their faces straight immediately when she looked at them.
Julia decided that throwing snow was successful, and particularly when it landed on her Mama's head, so she started throwing snow in all directions. James joined her in throwing at Caroline, and so did Robert, but he knew how to make snowballs, making him a worse threat.
Part 22
"Stop that, Robert," Caroline ordered him to no avail when a snowball hit her in the chest, but he merely laughed and bent over to make a new one. The twins would not stop either. She was standing upright so they could not do much harm to her, but James had already thrown snow in Julia's face.
The two gentlemen appeared on horseback and the sight of Caroline besieged by snow-throwing children was enough to make them jump out of the saddle hastily and apply some good old disciplinary spanking to their respective offspring. The three other boys had taken off as soon as they had seen the horses approach.
Caroline had always thought that the twins were surely too young to be spanked, and she did not understand how Richard could have done it, but it was difficult to tell him so with three children crying, and she could not even go to them when they were sitting there on the ground wailing, because Richard would not allow her. When Philip dragged Robert off by his neck the noise level was reduced considerably and it was possible to speak.
"Why did you do that?" Caroline wailed. "Look at them!"
Richard preferred not to. He knew they were probably very pitiful, but it was not very wise to let compassion interfere with discipline, or they would walk all over him. "They are not in pain - they are in shock. They have to learn discipline."
"Already? Could you not just have told them to stop?" She knew that did not work, but at least if she had done the spanking herself she would have known for certain that they would not be in pain. Men are always more rough, and perhaps Richard thinks he spanked them very softly, because he would not feel anything of it himself, but Julia and James are so much smaller.
"Excuse me, but I heard you do exactly that, without any noticeable success. What if you had fallen and hurt yourself or caught a cold because of it?"
"I would not have fallen! They are catching a cold now too!" Caroline said. "They are sitting on the ground." She lifted the hysterical Julia up. "Take James," she ordered Richard and she marched off towards the house.
"No snow at Mama," said Richard sternly to James on his arm. It is of course great fun to throw snow at Mama, but not this year, son. Next year I shall not interfere. Perhaps I shall even join you. "Jamie was being a very bad boy. Jamie must listen to Mama. Papa listens to Mama too."
"Do not cry. Papa is not angry with you, but Julia must do what Mama says," Caroline said to Julia on her arm. "Papa was afraid I might fall, although that would not have happened. You see, Mama must not hurt your little sister or brother by falling on her or him, because that could lead to many nasty things. You are cold from sitting in the snow. Do you want to take a bath?" she asked, and Julia brightened up.
Lady Matlock, who had already seen Robert being dragged in and who had been alerted to the possibility of an argument between her son and daughter-in-law over the spanking, had posted herself by the door so she could assess the situation herself. It did not appear to be as bad as that, because Julia was smiling, although there were traces of tears.
Caroline paused to wait for Richard once she was inside. "Julia is going to take a bath."
Lady Matlock frowned. "But what about dinner?" She could not imagine Caroline bathing Julia in less than half an hour and then have enough time to change herself. They always stayed away for ages when the twins went to have a bath.
"Dinner?" Caroline repeated blankly. She found it extremely annoying that dinner should interfere with this. "Can dinner not be postponed?" The bath has to be filled and the children to be undressed and Richard and I, if we decide to go in with them, and if not, we shall get wet anyway because they splash an awful lot. Richard must change out of those riding clothes anyway, so he might as well help me so I do not have to call a maid, because then he cannot come in to take a peek when he is dressing. Oh! I hope he does not think I am upset with him now.
"Not for those of us who are hungry," said Richard. "However, you may take it in private after you have bathed the children and then everybody will think you are excluded from dinner because you were naughty. Everybody remembers the punishment for mischief at school," he chuckled.
"They must have starved you there. Were you ever allowed to eat dinner at school?" Caroline asked.
"Of course. But never in the dining hall. I had a good understanding with the cook," he grinned.
"Tsk tsk," said Lady Matlock. "Do not overdo it, Richard. I have been notified of 'Fitzwilliam's less than exemplary behaviour' about ten times, certainly not more."
"That was because they got tired of sending you letters all the time." He pushed Caroline ahead. "Do not waste valuable time inquiring about my school years."
"Would those people who wrote home to complain about your less than exemplary behaviour not turn in their graves if they heard you had children?" Caroline asked.
"Their graves?" Richard laughed. "That sort never dies. They are probably still there to torture boys. They seemed very old at the time, but they are perhaps fifty now, and they will still be there when James is old enough."
"If they ever exclude him from dinner I shall go there and tell them," Caroline said with determination.
He laughed again when he imagined that. "If dinner rituals are still what they used to be, it might actually be more agreeable to sneak down to the kitchen to have something to eat at your own leisure, although that would prevent you from throwing spiders around during prayer."
"I am glad you grew out of that," said Caroline when they reached their rooms. She rang the bell for the bath to be filled and started to undress Julia, who pushed her hands away and wanted to do it herself. "Look! Julia wants to do it herself."
"Are you sure you will be done by dinner time tomorrow, Julia?" Richard asked after observing her attempts for a few seconds. "You cannot do that to Mama's reputation, dear. People are going to start wondering what she did that she has to miss so many meals."
After a hurried bath they were still in time for dinner, and everybody expressed their hopes that the other guests would still be able to arrive the next day because of the snow. However, the next day it was all gone and they saw the arrival of the Darcys in the afternoon, and the Bingleys and the Hursts in the evening.
Part 23
"You are looking very well, Caroline," said Bingley, who had not seen Caroline for a few months. "The food in Derbyshire must be agreeing with you." He looked Richard up and down. "But I do not see any effect of it on you."
The room fell silent and looked at Bingley, at Caroline and finally at Richard.
"Oh, Charles!" Louisa cried in dismay. He was making it very easy for Richard.
"Hush," said Mr. Hurst lazily. Fitzwilliam took advantage of every chance that was presented to him, and surely he would not pass this one up if Louisa kept her mouth shut? But Bingley was faster.
"What, Louisa?" Bingley cried back. "May I not compliment my sister's looks? Are you jealous? I shall compliment you too, then!"
"There is nothing to compliment!" Mr. Hurst remarked. Louisa was not expecting a child, he meant, but now everybody was giving him odd looks.
"Thomas, you are so complimentary!" Louisa cried.
"Perhaps you ought to eat more Derbyshire food to be complimented," said Hurst. "But not more than a double portion, please, or I shall be pitied."
Richard choked on his tea and coughed.
Jane explained matters to Bingley in a soft voice. She had of course heard Mrs. Bennet's suspicions, who had returned from Pemberley just before Jane left, and to her it had been quite visible, too. She had not wanted to tell Bingley yet, in case it was not true.
"Oh!" said Bingley, looking at his sister with renewed interest. "I do not see why you have to be so mysterious about it! You could have told me right away." He took it all in good humour and smiled.
"Well, I would have, if you had not started talking about food!" Caroline cried.
"It is more usually food than anything else!" Bingley protested. "And Hurst thought it was food too!"
"Must disappoint you, Bingley," said Hurst. "I did not think it was food."
"Do you really pity me?" Richard asked him. "No more than a double portion?"
"Of course." Hurst turned his way and lowered his voice. "My daughter does not even know what being naughty is, and yet she is a handful. I should think that your children would be infinitely more troublesome with two parents such as you and your wife, and then there are even two of them! I should not have survived it if Alice had had a twin."
"There are five children in the house. You might be going home in a coffin," Richard said.
"Can they read?" Hurst asked.
"Your epitaph?"
"No, the notice I shall pin on the inside of the nursery door. No children allowed beyond this point."
"The ones in there cannot read."
"Well, then it is meant for the person who carries them out."
Richard chuckled. "But you had not thought that my children would wait until someone carried them out, had you? They climb out of bed themselves."
Getting out of bed voluntarily was quite a new idea to Hurst. "Alice never leaves her bed until she is told to," he said confidently.
"I wonder where she got that from?" Richard asked mockingly. He wondered if Alice would stay in bed when she shared a room with James and Julia, who were usually up and about as soon as they woke up. "She might surprise you tomorrow morning."
"I hope not," said Hurst.
Part 24
James knew very well where his mother and father slept, and he felt that when he was awake, they should be too. He slid out of bed and walked to the door that led to his mother's dressing room. He pushed it helplessly but it would not give. It was usually open, but Richard had closed it. "Open!" he ordered and banged on the door. When that did not help he ran back to the bed and tugged at Julia's covers, calling her by his special abbreviation, but Julia did not wake up and James went back to the door to try again, but it was still closed.
Alice looked at him from her bed. She liked it there, but she also liked to show that she knew how to open doors. She got out of bed and shivered, but she opened all doors leading out of the nursery. "Door open!" she said to James.
James clapped his hands and laughed. "Door open!" he repeated and quickly disappeared into Caroline's dressing room.
Julia had woken up too and she did not like being left behind. "Damie!"
There was another closed door here and they paused, waiting for Alice, who did not come. Alice had remembered where her mother had gone to last night, and she was now looking at her parents sleeping. She had never been on their bed and the thought did not enter her mind, but the twins had come after her and all they saw was a bed, so they pulled at the first thing they saw.
Louisa felt her hair being pulled and heard someone say "Mama?" She opened her eyes and saw the three of them there. "Alice?" she asked in surprise. "What are you doing out of bed?"
Julia and James looked rather sheepish that Louisa was not Mama. They had looked so alike from their low point of view. But they knew this woman too, and if they could not get to Mama, they could stay with her. They were cold, and when they were cold, they were always lifted onto the bed. "Up!" said Julia.
"Up!" said James.
Alice did not want to stay behind. "Alice too!"
"What?" said Louisa. "Up? What do you mean?"
"Up!" They held out their arms for Louisa to lift them up.
Mr. Hurst mumbled something in his sleep. "Ssshhh," Louisa said to the children. "Be quiet."
"Up!" it sounded again, more insistent than before.
"Oh, alright," Louisa gave in. She lifted them up one by one and they crawled under the covers. "Now sleep! I do not want to hear anything until at least nine o'clock!"
"Papa?" asked Alice, who lay next to him.
"No, Alice," said Louisa. "Ssshhh!"
"Richard?" said Caroline, who opened one eye and noticed the time. "How on earth did we get to sleep until a quarter past seven? Where are they?"
"Who?" Richard asked. He stretched out lazily in Caroline's direction.
"Wait," she said and lifted her head high enough to scan the room. "Oh! The door is closed," she said in concern and sat up straight with a start. "What happened to that little piece of wood? What if they got their fingers stuck between the door?"
Richard pulled her down because she was pulling the covers away from him. "I closed it last night."
"Why?"
"Precaution," he said sleepily and he close his eyes. "Against noise. I like sleeping."
"So do I, but I am not going to get any more this morning."
"Why not?" he asked. "James and Julia are quiet and I am quiet."
"But this one is not," she replied, feeling her stomach. "Why can all of you not be annoying at the same time? That would be so much more convenient. Be considerate."
"I am!" Richard protested. He reached out his hand and placed it next to hers. "I closed those doors, did I not? Oh dear!" he exclaimed when he felt a lot of movement. "How many of them have you got in there?"
"One, I hope, but considering that none of you Fitzwilliams are at all considerate, there is probably more of them. It is still too dark to read," she complained. "What am I to do?"
"Talk to me?" Richard suggested. "About politics? No, I shall talk to you about politics and bore you to sleep. Shall we place a bet on it? I know you love politics. You fall asleep every single time."
It worked very well and they woke up two hours later. "I find it suspiciously quiet," Richard said, swinging his legs out of bed. He opened the door to Caroline's dressing room and with a frown he saw that the other door was open. He was sure he had closed it the night before. He walked on and stopped in the nursery. The door leading to the passage was wide open and there were no children anywhere. The door to the Hursts' apartments was closed. It did not occur to Richard that Louisa might have closed it, and it certainly did not occur to him to disturb them. He walked back. "Caroline? Get up. They...are exploring the house."
"Do you mean they are gone?" She nearly jumped out of bed and hastily put on her dressing gown over her nightgown. She followed him. "I hope nothing happened!" she said anxiously, pushing visions of them falling down the stairs out of her mind. You go left, I go right."
Meanwhile, Mr. Hurst had a rather disturbing dream. Louisa was eating and eating, four portions of everything, and Fitzwilliam, dressed as a footman kept refilling her plate with an evil grin. "One, two, three," she repeated over and over again to her stomach, articulating very clearly, and giving him seductive smiles in between. It was a veritable nightmare. He woke up with a start, glad that it had only been a dream.
"One, two, three," Louisa said again. "Say one," she ordered.
"One," he mumbled, wondering if Louisa had gone crazy.
"Papa!" cried a voice near his ear and he nearly had a heart attack. He nearly had another one when he opened his eyes and saw three children in his bed. "What is happening?" he cried, blinking, as if two of them would disappear if he saw clearly.
"We have got company," Louisa said cheerfully. "I was teaching them to count."
"You are not expecting triplets?" he asked suspiciously.
"No."
"Whew," Hurst breathed. "What are they doing here?"
"I have no idea. They came with Alice."
"Alice? Alice had nothing to do with it. Fitzwilliam ordered them, probably, so he could sleep peacefully." He got out of bed. "Come!" Julia and James did not listen so he lifted them out and escorted them to the door. "Back to your family." He stared at the door of Caroline's dressing room. It was open, but it would not do to go in. "There," he pointed. "Go in there." Alice had followed them and slipped out into the passage. "Alice! Come back!" He went after her as well as he could. The twins held on to Mr. Hurst's night gown and dribbled after him on their short legs. Suddenly Mr. Hurst found himself in the middle of the corridor with three toddlers hanging onto him.
Part 25
Caroline soon returned, because she realised she could not show herself downstairs dressed like this. "Oh, you found them!" she called out to Mr. Hurst, who had never been so glad to see her.
"Where have you been?" Caroline fell down on her knees to embrace the twins.
"And where have you been?" Hurst asked Louisa, who showed up in the door opening. "I have been calling you for the past ten minutes."
"I am upset," Louisa announced, folding her arms.
"Where were they?" Caroline asked.
"They were with Louisa," said Hurst.
"I am upset," Louisa repeated.
"I am upset too," Hurst countered.
"Really! Go and be upset together," Caroline waved. "I am not upset and I really do not want to become it either. Oh, there is Richard," she said and Louisa tactfully withdrew into her bedchamber.
"Did it happen?" Richard asked Hurst.
"Yes."
Richard grinned. "I had nothing to do with it."
"Yes, you did. You fathered them."
"But I did not tell them to go. You look a little sleepy."
"I woke up ten minutes ago," Hurst replied. "I missed all the fun, luckily."
"Everybody else is already at breakfast!" Richard's eye fell on Caroline in her dressing gown and he ushered her into their room. "I saw them eating," he grinned.
"Dressed in your night clothes?" she asked curiously. She was glad that he did not wear a night-gown.
"I grew up here. They have all seen me play about the house in night clothes since I could walk," he shrugged. "Now, what shall we do about our little troublemakers? Shall I keep the doors open tonight?"
"Door open," James laughed and ran to the door, but he could not open it.
"He is so clever," Caroline beamed. "Come here and I shall give you a kiss."
"Do you do that to everyone who is clever?" Richard asked interestedly.
Caroline gave James a kiss. "If being clever is difficult for you, darling, I would not object to giving you one for free."
"That is very generous, but being clever is not difficult for me -- it is impossible."
"Aww."
"Indeed. Pity me. I can never say anything that will stun us all into admiration the way James seems to do."
"Poor you. It is not what you say, but what you do," Caroline soothed. "You have even stunned Julia into silence. Is something wrong, Julia?" She pulled Julia towards her and examined her. "She looks a little quiet."
Julia sniffed and hid her head in the folds of Caroline's gown.
"Doowie ow," said James helpfully.
"Where?" she asked, but James did not say. She looked at Julia again and discovered a little bruise on her arm. "Is this it?"
"Damie," Julia sniffed. After Caroline had placed a kiss on her arm, she felt better.
James looked very innocent. "Did you do that?" Richard asked sternly and James's innocent look faded away. His lip began to tremble.
Julia shook her head vehemently and took James's hand. Caroline had tried to teach them to walk hand in hand so they would not run off, but they had never showed any signs of having understood what she meant.
"I do not believe this!" Richard exclaimed. "He pinches her and she will not have him punished!"
Part 26
"You are late," said Lady Matlock to her son when he came in with his family in tow. She had nearly finished breakfast herself.
"Daily inspection took a little longer than usual, because the troops were mutinous," Richard apologised as he and Caroline each placed a child on a chair. He usually occupied the head of the table, except at breakfast when he ceded this place to the twins. It had proved to be the most convenient way of keeping an eye on them.
"Is mutiny not a usual occurrence?" Darcy asked. He had been wondering why there had been two plates at the head of the table, and he had assumed that Richard and Caroline both sat there, which had struck him as very odd indeed.
"Well," Richard said reflectively. "The higher ranks of course do as they please, but not the lower ranks. Against all orders they went on a reconnaissance mission and they neglected to be present at the roll call. And then they were made prisoners of war and we had to negotiate with the enemy for their release."
"It was an oversight on the part of their superior officer --" Caroline began.
"Ha! I am glad you take the blame, Caroline."
"Their superior officer," Caroline repeated. "He was --"
Richard grinned. "She!"
"But officers cannot be women," Georgiana pointed out with a puzzled frown.
"Georgiana, that is only so the men do not get distracted," said Caroline. "They can only do one thing at a time, you know. They cannot even eat and speak at the same time." Caroline herself was eating, speaking, supervising the twins' breakfast and telling them the name of everything they pointed at.
Richard mumbled something with a full mouth.
"See dear? Do not even attempt it," Caroline said. James spat out some food while blurting out something incomprehensible. "James! What makes you think you can do it if even your father cannot do it?"
James said something again and Julia obviously found it extremely amusing. Nobody else understood what he had said, however.
Richard eyed them suspiciously. "That is the second time today that they are forming an alliance. They do not take me seriously at all. I bet they were laughing at me." Julia said a great deal of which they understood nothing, and now James laughed heartily. "Caroline? What are they saying?"
"I have no idea," Caroline shrugged. "They like being incomprehensible."
"That was to be expected," Darcy commented.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, the two of you like doing that as well. They must be imitating their parents."
"I am never incomprehensible on purpose," said Caroline, slapping Julia's hand when she threw her food across the table. "And please do not think she has this kind of behaviour from me."
"Nor from me!" Richard said. Nobody looked convinced. "Ask Mother."
"Mother?" Cathy asked. "He used to do that, did he not?"
"Of course not," said Lady Matlock. "I raised him well. He acquired the naughtiness away from home. It was certainly not bred into him."
"Ha!" Richard said to his sister. "And there is Hurst, finally. It looks like he had to deal with some mutiny too."
"Am I the only one of us who can come downstairs at the appropriate hour?" Bingley asked his sisters. "I thought you were morning people too!"
"I daresay I was awake before you!" Louisa replied.
"That does not count," said Bingley. "Come, Darcy. I have sat here long enough." They pushed their chairs back and rose. Almost everybody followed, and only Richard, Caroline and the Hursts were left.
"Now we have to eat alone," Louisa complained to her husband. "And that is all because you are so slow in dressing."
"But he is well-dressed," said Richard. "Not one crease."
"Did I ask you anything?" Louisa snapped.
Caroline grimaced and placed her hand on Richard's hand warningly. Louisa is upset. Better not say anything.
Richard frowned. Is it bad?
Caroline shrugged. I do not think so.
Is it a Bingley thing? He gave her a teasing look.
Caroline squeezed his hand. She did not actually know what he meant, except that he wondered if she had it too. No.
Richard tried to pull his hand back, but she would not let him. He looked at his plate and back. I need my hand! They exchanged a few more messages until Julia demanded attention by banging her spoon on her plate.
Part 27
Darcy attached a great value to solitude now and then, and he was desperately in search of a quiet place to read his book, but every room in the house seemed to be occupied. During his search he encountered Lady Matlock reading to four children in the library, Mrs. Hurst playing angry-sounding music in the music room -- but he could still overhear that in the drawing room and several other adjoining rooms -- two gentlemen at billiards, and Bingley, Mrs. Bingley and Georgiana were in another room writing letters and talking. None of these people had the decency to be silent, however, and Darcy at long last tried his apartment upstairs, but he quickly withdrew from there upon discovering that Elizabeth and Catherine were bathing Victoria and Edward. He retraced his footsteps back to his cousin's study, from where he had heard no sounds at all. But another man's study is like his bedchamber: one does not barge in. He knocked.
"Come in."
Darcy walked in. "Is it quiet here?" he asked hopefully.
"It is, if you do not mind my yawning," Caroline said.
He walked closer to investigate what they were doing. His cousin was seated behind his desk going over figures and Caroline sat in front of it, studying a moral tract on the upbringing of children. "Is it not interesting?"
"No."
"Why do you read it then?"
"Because I like to know what people can accuse me of not doing."
"Oh. Are you not going to follow the experts' advice?"
Richard looked up from his figures and smiled. "We are following their advice to the letter, except that we anagrammise it."
"Is that word in the dictionary?" Darcy asked doubtfully.
"I do not think so," said Caroline. "I have not come across it yet in here, and the author seems to have studied the dictionary very closely to include as many words of more than three syllables as possible."
"Double-check these for me," Richard said and handed her the figures. He looked at Darcy. "Were you looking for a quiet place? Have we invited too many guests?"
"It is not that there are too many of them," said Darcy, seating himself on a chair. "But they are rather dispersed."
"Which means you cannot avoid running into them."
"Exactly. And half the rooms on this floor are within the range of your pianoforte."
"It is not even me playing, so how bad can it be?" Richard asked. "But you are welcome to stay here if you do not mind our occasional chatter."
"Occasional?" Darcy raised his eyebrows. "Did you not tell me once that the only time you do not talk is when you kiss or when you sleep?"
"Did I say that? I leave it up to you to determine whether our chatter is occasional because I exaggerated that one time or because we are constantly sleeping or otherwise engaged here."
"I suppose you exaggerated," said Darcy and picked up his book.
"They are all correct," said Caroline after a minute. She handed Richard his figures back and returned to her own book, now and then stifling a yawn or asking Richard what a certain word meant.
Lady Matlock had read the twins' favourite book to her grandchildren and Alice again, and once was quite enough as far as she was concerned. "Let us go to the kitchen to see if Cook has some apple pie."
"Apple pie!" Robert cheered.
"Wait out here," said Lady Matlock to the children when they came to the kitchen. "Robert, you are such a big boy now. You can keep an eye on them."
But Robert was far more interested in the possible availability of apple tart than in watching over the three babies who could not even talk properly yet. They started rolling on the floor until their Uncle Bingley passed by and they sat up straight to look at him. "What is going on?" he asked.
"Apple pie!"
"Oh," Bingley said eagerly. "Where? I want some!"
"Here, but you are last," Robert warned him, fearing that Bingley might eat all of it if there was only a little bit. Lady Matlock returned with a plate with four small pieces. "I want a big one!" Robert cried.
The twins did not want any apple pie, so Bingley was in luck. He got two pieces.
Part 28
"Bingley," said Lady Matlock. "Now that I have bribed you with a double portion of apple pie, you are not allowed to object very much to taking the children off my hands. I received a letter that I must write a reply to."
"It will be my pleasure," said Bingley. "Where are their various parents?"
"Occupied."
"Poor little buggers! Uncle Bingley will come to the rescue." They started playing a catching game that involved lots of screaming and running through the hall.
Lady Matlock had to write a reply to Lady Catherine's letter.
Dear Sister,
You are quite right. My two children are very productive and providing me with a new grandchild every half year, and perhaps they ought to practise a little moderation in future, but is this advice not a little strange coming from you? You really must tell the General before you start showing. Is it not his child as well? If you keep silent he might start thinking it is not his. I had a discreet word with Cathy and Caroline and told them you are concerned about their health, nevertheless.
She continued the letter with news about the visiting relatives and folded it with a sigh when she was finished. It was always very difficult to write to her late husband's youngest sister -- Lady Matlock disliked sounding like a mother when she addressed her sister-in-law. She wondered what Bingley had done with the children and hoped that he had not done anything their various mothers would disapprove of, but since two of those were his sisters, he probably knew what he could do.
As she stepped out of the library into the hall, she saw bits of Bingley protrude from under a pile of children. "Children, children," she admonished. "Mind his stomach. It is filled with apple pie and you would not want it to come out."
"They are horse riding," said Bingley.
"On your stomach?" Lady Matlock raised her eyebrows curiously.
"I cannot see if they fall off if they are on my back. They are supposed to stay seated, but I do not know what they are doing now. Sit!" he ordered the crawling mass. "Oh bweh!" he wrinkled his nose when one of the little ones came too close to his nose. "Where is my sister? I think at least one of them has done something!"
"Caroline?" Richard asked when the sounds of play reached his study. "What does that very interesting piece of advice you are reading have to say about noisy children?"
Caroline frowned. "They do not scream if they have been studying edifying material diligently."
"We have no edifying material in the house and we seem to be too late to start using it," Richard commented. "Burn that thing or give it to Darcy if he wishes. He can still implement it from the start. I think this method does not quite suit us."
Caroline held it out to Darcy questioningly. He shook his head. "No, thank you. My method would be even closer to yours than to this one, would you believe that? Have you written a manual yet?" he asked Richard.
"No, not on upbringing. I have written down some comments on Bingleys, however, but that is only a rough draft."
"You have?" Caroline cried.
Richard pulled a small notebook from a drawer and handed it to Darcy, who opened it at a random page and started laughing. "They do not get freckles when exposed to sunlight?" he asked.
Part 29
"What have you been writing about me?" Caroline inquired.
"Nothing but the truth."
"Is that good or bad?"
"Bad of course," Richard answered.
"May I take this with me?" Darcy asked. It looked as if it could prove to be entertaining reading material.
"Go ahead," Richard nodded.
Darcy pocketed the book. "What? No protest from Caroline?" He had expected her to demand a look at Richard's notes first and to censure them if necessary, but instead she allowed him to take and read it without as much as a word.
"I know him and he knows me." She got up and leant past Richard to search the drawers of his desk with nothing specific in mind.
Bingley came in with Julia. He lifted her up by her hands and placed her amid the papers on Richard's desk.
"Bingley, not on my papers!" he exclaimed in horror, lifting Julia off immediately, insofar as that was possible with Caroline leaning across him as well. "What are you doing, Caroline?" He rested Julia on her back.
"Sister, it smells," Bingley complained.
"Charles, I am not a nun!" Caroline tried to wriggle out from her awkward position between Richard and Julia.
"I know. Nuns do not have children." He had left the door open in his usual carelessness and the other children followed him in. "Jolly!" Bingley said cheerfully.
"Not jolly," Richard said icily. "Out! Everyone under twenty-seven, out!"
"But I am not yet twenty-seven!" Bingley cried in surprise.
"I know."
"I am not taking that girl unless she gets a clean nappy!" Bingley protested, pointing at Julia.
"Then give her one," Richard said stoically, straightening his papers when Caroline had finally extricated herself.
Bingley looked confused. "Who, me?"
"Yes."
"I cannot do that!"
"You care very little for your niece and brother." Richard got up and waved them all out of the room, even Darcy although he was past twenty-seven.
Caroline took the twins upstairs and Bingley looked at his brother-in-law who was standing arms folded in front of his study. "Are you upset?"
"No, but sometimes even I can feel disturbed in my little sanctuary. I do not mind Caroline so much because she is -- well, because she is my wife, and then Darcy came, and I minded him a little more, but he had his book with him and he really was no bother, but you and the children really know how to break the silence." He turned back into his room and closed the door.
"Oh," said Bingley and Darcy at the same time. They looked at each other. "I do not know him as well as you do," Bingley said nervously. "What is the matter?"
"Business," Darcy guessed. "I do not like to be disturbed when I am looking into financial matters either."
"Oh," said Bingley, who actually preferred to be disturbed when he was doing business because he found it rather boring. They trudged to the drawing room where they found Louisa. "Have you finally given up on that dreadful piece of music?" Bingley asked.
"I was upset."
"Another one! Fitzwilliam is upset too."
"Which one? Last name or first name?" Louisa asked, glancing at Darcy.
"Richard."
"Did you say his children were backwards?"
"No."
"Did you say something bad about our sister?"
"No."
Louisa thought for a while about what else could have upset Richard. "Then you must have disturbed them while they were locked into a room together?"
"Yes, but Darcy was with them already," Bingley said hastily.
Louisa winced. "So Darcy did the preparatory disturbing."
"Hold on," said Darcy. "They greeted me most cordially. They obviously had no objections to my presence or they would have told me."
"That is because you are so tall," Bingley protested.
"I rather think you did not receive the same welcome because you were accompanied by four noisy and smelly children, and I was not."