Posted on Friday, 30 June 2006
My cousin shifted from foot to foot disapprovingly, his somber presence the only flaw in an otherwise perfect wedding day.
“I’m supposed to be the anxious one,” I whispered. “How can you serve as best man if you’re so nervous you can’t stand still?”
Richard shot me an annoyed glance, but stopped fidgeting. I gave him a grin before turning to look across the crowded nave of the Meryton church.
Brightly colored decorations met my eye in every direction. Bouquets of flowers graced the end of each aisle and elegant floral arrangements sprouted on either side of the narthex door. Colored ribbons hung in arcs, fluttering faintly above the heads of the well-dressed crowd. The pews were rapidly filling with more people than I could recall ever seeing here for holy services. All of Hertfordshire society was on display, hardly surprising under the circumstances. It’s not every day that a local girl marries so well.
If asked, any resident of Hertfordshire would have told you how lucky the young lady was to be marrying a man like me. They would have said she was blessed – and her entire family with her! – to have captivated the attention of a man so far above her. By the calculation of society, the match was extraordinary. She was marrying a man of means, of sense, of elegant appearance and stately manner, come young into his inheritance and now wanting only a wife to establish his family and gain an heir for his estate. That a man of such quality should choose a wife so far beneath him (in society’s view) was certainly the greatest possible luck for the bride, who had gained a very advantageous marriage with only her charms to recommend her.
The only man likely to disagree with the prevailing opinion was myself.
As you have doubtless heard, I possess a good estate, a worthy income and an educated mind, but unknown to the gossips of Meryton, there is one thing I lack. For much of my life, happiness has eluded me.
When my father died unexpectedly almost five years ago, control of the family estate and the welfare of our tenants fell upon my ill-prepared shoulders. Learning my new responsibilities occupied nearly all my time. After the first couple years, once I had learned the necessary skills and become comfortable with my duties as landholder, the work became less time-consuming, but I still remained mostly at home, choosing to deal with affairs of business rather than with my friends and neighbors. I had never been comfortable in social settings – dances and society dinners are my particular punishments – and my estate gave me ample excuse to decline such invitations. Over the years, without realizing it, I gradually became unsocial and taciturn, hiding from the world within the walls of my library. Thus I might have remained but for the enthusiasm of a good friend who dragged me to social events against my will, thereby exposing me to a pair of captivating eyes in the face of a pretty woman; the same woman I would marry today.
My cousin looked out across the pews, nearly filled now with the eager residents of Meryton, and I knew that he was awaiting the arrival of my bride with trepidation rather than joy. “Are you ready, William?”
“I’ve been ready for two months,” I told him, unable to stop smiling.
Richard didn’t reply. He didn’t approve of the marriage, but knew it was far too late to argue. He had done all his arguing two months ago, when I had horrified him with my choice.
“You’re thinking of marrying this woman? William, have you gone stark raving mad?”
I was taken aback, but sought refuge in quiet sarcasm. “No need to be so shy, Richard. Don’t let your sense of propriety prevent you from expressing yourself.”
“Oh, never fear, cousin! I’ll express myself more than you’ll like!” Richard had always had a quick temper and was having trouble restraining himself given such provocation. “For heaven’s sake, man, you cannot ally our family in such an infamous manner! This woman and her family move in a lower sphere than ours! We have a family name to uphold. You cannot marry a woman with nothing but a pretty face to recommend her!”
“She has more to recommend her than just a pretty face.”
“Like what? Is her dowry equal to Miss Fairbairn’s?”
“Not even close,” I replied cheerfully.
“Is her family titled?”
“No.”
“Do they have useful connections? Can they introduce you into the first circle of society?”
“Well, they can introduce me to some very respectable tradesmen who live near Cheapside,” I told him, slyly watching the expressions on his face. I must confess that taunting Richard is an old habit from my childhood and I have never entirely weaned myself of the pleasure.
“Tradesmen? Cheapside?” he sputtered, nearly incoherent. “But that’s – you cannot – you must be joking!”
“Not a bit of it.”
“You cannot marry her! The family will never permit it!”
“Hm,” I replied, my manner thoughtful. “You really think she’s unsuitable, then?”
“Unsuitable? It’s completely impossible!” he cried. “She must be the worst sort of fortune hunter, using feminine arts and allurements to elevate herself above her station! If you marry her, your name will be a joke; London society will never receive such a woman! Expect a lifetime of seclusion, because the doors of better society will close themselves to you!”
“The scorn of London society? A sad fate, indeed,” I replied, more than a hint of sarcasm in my voice.
He swelled visibly, his face turning an alarming shade of mottled purple, but instead of the anticipated eruption of blistering invective, he turned his back on me and braced himself against the stone mantelpiece. He was silent for several moments, mastering his temper, before he turned to face me.
“You are not the first man whose head was turned by a pretty woman, William. Not even the first man to mistakenly call it love,” he said, his voice strained. “But please consider what you are doing! Marriage is a serious matter. Unless you are careful, the unguarded impulse of one passionate moment can condemn you to an entire lifetime of misery and regret! Once engaged, you cannot break the engagement without dishonor. All I ask – I beg of you! – take some time to consider the decision and fully determine whether this woman–”
“I am already engaged to her.”
Richard stared at me, rendered speechless by mortified amazement. After perhaps half a minute of increasing agitation, he cried out, “Already engaged, and without even telling me! Our family’s honor now irrevocably bound to this idiocy! You fool, what have you done?”
“Secured my happiness! Don’t you see? She’ll make me a better man!”
“But she’s just–”
I cut him off. “Cousin, I’ll not deny that when I first saw her, I thought much the same as you. I was dissuaded by her lack of fortune and the poor connections of her family; but within a week I was captivated by her beauty, her laughter, her sparkling enthusiasm. After years of taciturn withdrawal, with few friends and no society, she has brought light to my life! I have come to see that love requires no businesslike analysis of benefits, but rather a leap of faith based upon deep affection. I grant you that she lacks fortune and connections, but have I not enough for both of us?”
As I spoke, Richard collapsed into the nearest chair, his head in his hands. Finally he looked up at me with wretched determination. “William, I cannot condone what you have done. In a moment of infatuation you have bound yourself for a lifetime to a woman who is beneath you. You say she will bring you happiness, but you are deceived; this marriage cannot fulfill your hopes. However, your fate is sealed and there is nothing further to be said.”
His disapproval pained me but I concealed it as best I could. “You will withhold your blessing, then? Shun my bride and avoid my wedding ceremony?”
“I cannot give my blessing. Neither will my family visit once she enters into your house.” Richard reached for the brandy. “As to the wedding celebration, however, I will not shame you before the neighborhood. If you would have me stand beside you at the ceremony, concealing this unfortunate misalliance beneath a false veneer of family harmony, I will oblige you.”
Swelling music interrupted my thoughts. I raised my eyes and beheld the most beautiful sight of my life, a vision dressed in white, like an angel descended from heaven to stand framed in the church doorway.
Richard sighed quietly next to me; but I would prove all his fears groundless. My marriage would be a union of lasting affection, built upon a perfect mixture of contrasting temperaments. Although he was angry and petulant at the moment, he would relent once he witnessed our conjugal felicity.
My bride reached the altar. Her proud father gave her a kiss, whispered a few words in her ear – doubtless bittersweet for him, giving his favorite daughter to another man – and then placed her hand in mine. I smiled at her and together we faced the parson. The crowd stilled and the ceremony began.
As the parson intoned: “If any man can show cause why they may not lawfully be joined together, let him now speak,” Richard stirred beside me but held his peace. My heart soared as I prepared to marry the woman I would love until the end of my days!
“William Thomas Bennet, will you take Fanny Louise Gardiner to thy wedded wife, to live together in the holy state of matrimony? Wilt thou love her, comfort her, honour and keep her, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, so long as ye both shall live?”
“I will!”