Jane Bennet
The sun was shining brightly on Jane Bennet, birds were chirping in the trees, and the flowers smelled sweetly of, well... flowers.
"What a beautiful day!" said Jane, smiling up at the sunshine around her (though it appeared to be raining heavily everywhere else in the garden). "I feel sure something lovely will happen today!" She wandered out into the garden, where a happy bluebird perched on her finger. She smiled at it, and it trilled at her happily before flying away to its happy little nest in the happiest tree in the garden.
"Jane, dear!" came the voice of her dear Mama from inside. "It is time to come in! It is high time you were getting ready for the ball!" Mrs. Bennet turned away from the window and bustled about the parlour, humming a happy tune. She was so glad that her eldest daughter had such a pleasant suitor in Charles Bingley! His five thousand a year was nice, of course, but her daughter's happiness was the most important thing. She always looked out for her daughters, whom she loved equally, of course, having no favorites.
Jane dutifully turned her steps towards the house, bidding farewell to the baby fawn that had tried to nuzzle her hand, and to the pair of doves cooing at her nearby.
Lydia and Kitty came down the staircase in their usual youthful high spirits, which they fully intended to curb as they grew older, to become genteel young ladies. "That is my dress, Lydia!" said Kitty politely, sure that her sister must have made a mistake, and wanting to correct her gently before anyone's feelings were hurt.
"It suits me far better anyway," said Lydia, knowing that Kitty would never want to be seen in a less than perfect gown, and that Kitty with her kind heart would want her own sister to have the dress if she herself could not wear it.
The two sisters smiled happily at each other and entered the parlour where their mother was waiting with Mary.
Mary looked up from her book, her plain features nonetheless displaying what would surely become her own special sort of beauty in a few more years. "A ball is always an ideal environment for studying the faults and frailties of the human condition," she said, managing to be helpfully instructive without sounding at all pedantic. "We should all endeavor to undertake more self-study on occasions such as these."
Jane came into the parlour just as her dear sister Lizzy came in from the front garden, where she had been enjoying nature's beauties while remaining perfectly ladylike.
"Lizzy, where have you been?" exclaimed Mrs. Bennet, worried about her daughter's welfare. "You will never catch a husband if you persist in behaving like a hoyden!"
Jane smiled gently at her mother's joke. Mrs. Bennet was always teasing Lizzy this way. She took her sister's arm, and the two proceeded upstairs to dress.
"Hill! Never mind Miss Lizzy's hair, make sure to concentrate on Jane!" Mrs. Bennet joked again. Her voice was so shrill, she almost sounded serious! Dear Mama!
"Oh," sighed Jane, slightly less happy than was her wont. "Miss Bingley's note says that the whole party have left Netherfield by this time, and are on their way to town; and without any intention of coming back again." She would rather the party had stayed at Netherfield longer, but if it pleased them all to go to London, she would try to be happy for them. Lizzy, however, did not seem so inclined.
"Jane, Miss Bingley is only following her brother to town to keep the two of you apart!" Jane knew that Elizabeth liked Miss Bingley, of course, how could one dislike such an elegant and gracious young lady? But Lizzy did have a slight tendency to possibly have an inkling of a thought that Miss Bingley might not be completely what she seemed. Jane was sure Lizzy was mistaken.
Still, her mind was less than serene. Even the family of baby chipmunks that had taken up residence in her lap could not completely restore her usual happiness.
"Louisa! I have wonderful news!" exclaimed Caroline Bingley at their London townhouse. "I have just received a letter from Jane Bennet! She is in Town at this very moment and will call on us soon!"
"That is lovely news, Caroline!" said her sister, smiling. "I know how worried you were that you had not received word from her before! We must be sure to welcome her when she calls!"
"I felt so sorry that we all had to leave Netherfield so suddenly last fall," said Caroline, hastily writing a reply to Jane. "I hated to leave her society, but you remember how distressed we all were at that family emergency!"
"Indeed," agreed Mrs. Hurst. "And you were upset for weeks, worrying about poor Jane missing us!"
"Oh, Louisa, do you think I did right in telling her about Charles and Miss Darcy?" implored Caroline, suddenly worried. "I was so thrilled about the prospect of seeing Miss Darcy again that I never once thought about how my words might sound to dear Jane!"
"You were perfectly right, Caroline," comforted Mrs. Hurst. "After all, even if Jane did have feelings for our brother, would she not be happy to know that he might find happiness with such a lovely and accomplished young lady as Miss Darcy?"
"I never thought of it that way," mused Miss Bingley. "Louisa, for dear Jane's sake, I do not think we should tell Charles that she is here. I could not bear to have her disappointed, now that Charles and Miss Darcy are so much in company."
"Caroline, you always think of others' feelings first," approved her sister.
"Oh, no, George! Whatever shall we do?" Lydia surveyed the scene with dismay. "Our carriage horse has thrown a shoe, and we shall never be able to reach Scotland to be married as we planned!"
"Lydia, my love, we shall find a way to get to Scotland." Wickham comforted her, kissing her fingers chastely. "I want nothing more than to marry you, dearest Lydia."
"I love you, George," declared Lydia, still blushing at the sound of his given name. His love made her feel so contented, and ashamed now of the wild young woman she had once been.
"Come, Lydia," said Wickham. "We are almost to London-we shall lodge there until we can find a way to get to Gretna Green! I know it is improper, but I shall find us a chaperone as soon as may be. I would never willingly be the ruin of any young lady's reputation!"
"Jane, dear, put on your blue gown!" fluttered Mrs. Bennet, knowing that Jane loved her blue gown the best out of her wardrobe. "Mr. Bingley will be here for dinner soon!"
Jane, having anticipated her mother, was already wearing the blue gown but was grateful to her for suggesting it. "Mama dear, he will be here shortly with Mr. Darcy. I saw their carriage pull up the lane just now."
Mrs. Bennet's screech of excitement was surely only due to her happiness on her daughter's behalf, and if it was vulgar, it was completely excusable on those grounds.
Dinner was a lovely affair, and the cook had outdone herself in culinary excellence. As for Jane and Charles, they spoke little, but their eyes spoke volumes.
His eyes implored: Forgive me, dearest Jane. I have never stopped caring for you.
And her eyes replied: Of course, Charles. I trust you completely.
And his said: I am so happy, Jane my darling-we will be the happiest couple in the world.
And hers: I am happy too, Charles my love. As long as we're together.
His: Jane, sweetie-ookums, I know the kitten on your lap loves you, but could you possibly remove it? It is gnawing on my fingers and I am trying to hold your hand under the table.
Hers: Oh, sorry about that, snuggy-wuggy. Hmm, we'd better start talking soon or someone will notice.
"Miss Bennet, is that a kitten I spy, climbing out from under the table? I do adore cats," said Mr. Bingley loudly, still wincing a bit from the tooth-marks on his fingers.
"Yes, it is our new pet," answered Jane composedly. By the way, Charles, what do you think we should do about Mr. Darcy and Lizzy?
"I do adore cats," said Mr. Bingley, not realizing he was repeating himself. He was too busy using his eyes to communicate a fourteen-line sonnet in iambic pentameter to his dear Jane. From the looks of it, she was enjoying every word.
It was a lovely evening.
"Congratulations, Mrs. Bingley!" laughed Lizzy, radiant in her wedding gown.
"Congratulations, Mrs. Darcy!" smiled Jane, equally radiant in her wedding gown, while butterflies hovered around her, forming a heart-shaped cloud.
"I am so happy for all of you," announced Mr. Bennet, hugging his two favorite daughters and bestowing a paternal glance on his new sons-in-law.
"We are happy that you are happy, Papa," replied Jane.
"Well, I'm happy that Jane is happy that you are happy, Mr. Bennet!" added Mr. Bingley.
"And," Lizzy added archly, "Of course I'm happy that Charles is happy that Jane is-"
"Enough!" Mr. Darcy interrupted (happily, of course). "Suffice it to say that we are all happy!"
And that was that.
THE END
Lady Catherine
Lady Catherine de Bourgh was seriously displeased. She was always seriously displeased. This morning, her displeasure was owing to the fact that her tea had been served a few degrees too cold, and was therefore so undrinkable as to merit being thrown to the floor in a fit of pique.
"Hrmph!" she grumbled, imperiously gesturing to the serving maid to clean up the mess. "Imagine, a servant unable to brew a proper cup of tea! If I had ever learnt to make tea, I would have been a true proficient!" The maid brought her another teacup, the contents of which were practically boiling. Lady Catherine took one look at it and rang for a footman, who promptly appeared.
"John, go to Hunsford and dispatch Mr. Collins to come here. I require his presence immediately, that he might blow on my tea to cool it properly."
"Yes, Lady Catherine." John bowed respectfully and set off for the Parsonage.
"Mr. Collins, I command you to approach at once and cool my tea."
The clergyman bowed in his servile manner and minced towards the august lady. "Lady Catherine, I am most honored that you would condescend to..."
Ten minutes later, he had not yet blown once upon the tea, but by the time his discourse was finished, it was quite cool enough to drink.
"You may go now, Mr. Collins."
"Yes, Lady Catherine."
"Mrs. Jenkinson, what did you think of Miss Bennet this evening?"
"Well, I thought that-"
"I agree, she was most impertinent. Such decided opinions!" Lady Catherine grew quite animated at the thought. "And never having a governess-are you not shocked?"
"Oh, I am indeed sur-"
"That is just what I thought. And all her younger sisters out-mark my words, thought she may be a lively young lady, she will never be the equal of my Anne."
"You are quite-"
"Thank you, Mrs. Jenkinson, that is all. You may go attend my daughter now."
"Yes, Lady Catherine."
"There, Anne, you see? I was right!" Lady Catherine cried triumphantly. "Your cousin Darcy has extended his visit yet again-clearly he is preparing to make your engagement official!"
"Mother, I have tried to tell you, I do not wish-"
"Soon you will be Mrs. Darcy-I know I have always-er, you have always wished it to be so."
"You do not understand, I have no desire to-"
"Yes, yes, dear girl. Our two fortunes will be united at last!" She looked at her daughter more carefully, noting the deep flush on her reddened cheeks. "Anne, you look feverish! I am sure that you have overexerted yourself yet again! Go to your room at once and lie down!"
Anne made one last effort to speak, then hung her head and sighed.
"Yes, Mother."
"You can be at no loss, Miss Bennet, to understand the reason of my journey hither. Your own heart, your own conscience, must tell you why I come."
Elizabeth looked at her in astonishment. "Indeed, you are mistaken madam. I have not been at all able to account for the honour of seeing you here."
And thus began the conversation we all know and love so well.
Lady Catherine cajoled, demanded, and threatened, but for once in her life her edicts were not assented to in the usual manner. Indeed, Miss Bennet's obstinate refusal to acquiesce was so foreign to her that afterwards, in the confines of her grand carriage, she wondered what exactly had happened. Furrowing her elegant brow, she replayed the conversation as it should have occurred...
"I am almost the nearest relation he has in the world, and am entitled to know all his dearest concerns."
Yes, Lady Catherine.
"Do you pay no regard to the wishes of his friends? Have you not heard me say that from his earliest hours he was destined for his cousin?"
Yes, Lady Catherine.
"If you were sensible of your own good, you would not wish to quit the sphere in which you have been brought up."
Yes, Lady Catherine.
"Unfeeling, selfish girl! Do you not consider that a connection with you must disgrace him in the eyes of everybody?"
Yes, Lady Catherine.
"And will you promise me never to enter into such an engagement?"
Lady Catherine's fingers clenched convulsively on the cushions of the carriage. Obstinate girl! How dare she refuse to see reason? Well, Miss Bennet, we shall see about this...
"Driver! I wish to go to London immediately! The Darcy Townhouse!" And she rapped on the roof of the carriage with her walking stick. Smiling grimly, she settled back into her seat.
"The headstrong girl actually refused to grant my demand! Can you imagine that? Flatly refused!" She glared at Darcy as if it were his fault.
"Aunt Catherine, I can easily imagine Miss Bennet doing just as you have said." The corners of his mouth twitched in amusement, but Lady Catherine was too incensed to notice.
"I was sure that you would want to be informed of what this young upstart has been saying about you, so I came immediately!" She raised her chin proudly.
"You are correct, I am most glad of the information. Rest assured, I will know how to act." And he ushered her into the front hall towards the door.
"You must marry a woman befitting your status! You shall choose a lady worthy of your noble name!"
"I will indeed, Aunt." He opened the door and gently nudged her over the threshold, but she persisted in her quest for assurance.
"You will make your intentions absolutely clear to her? You will ensure she harbors no illusions as to your choice of bride?"
He smiled beatifically. "Yes, Lady Catherine."
"The paper has just arrived, mistress," said John, presenting it to her on a silver tray.
"You may go," Lady Catherine said carelessly, turning to the society columns to read the latest gossip. "Hmm... scandal at Almacks'... long sleeves in fashion... engagements... WHAT?!?!?!?"
Suffice it to say that by the end of the morning, Lady Catherine was once again seriously displeased.
BONUS: The World According to Mr. Collins
Ditto.