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Chapter Twenty-five
Lady Matlock returned to her husband and sister. They looked at her expectantly and she shook her head with a deep sigh. "It is as you said, Catherine. Besotted. Richard is doing his best to behave properly, but she is becoming frustrated with it, I could see. We are lucky that she seems ignorant of what he is avoiding and that he refuses to tell her, but it is a matter of hours rather than weeks." She addressed her husband. "Frederick, I think you need to see Uncle Percy and fast. You must leave directly after dinner."
"My parson would be delighted to perform the office if I ordered him to," Lady Catherine commented. "But it might be better if Uncle Percy could be persuaded to come to Rosings to handle the matter discreetly. I am not sure my parson could be trusted with a family secret. Uncle Percy would have to, since he is family."
"Do I get to give my blessing beforehand or am I merely a messenger?" the Earl wondered. As usual, the ladies were handling everything among themselves. It was strange that Catherine was his sister and not Honoria's.
"I told them we would be holding office in the billiards room, Foggy," said his wife. "If Catherine does not mind terribly we shall not dress for dinner, but shall make ourselves available for private consultations while enjoying a good game. I sensed that both are plagued by questions that cannot be asked."
"You do mean a good game of billiards, Nolly?" the Earl asked warily. "Not a good game of taking youngsters for a spin?"
"I might be dissuaded from that by your presence."
"Hmph."
They removed to the billiards room and the Earl arranged the balls to start a game. The Countess leant on her cue. "Do you want to take a wager?"
"Be a lady, Nolly."
Richard had pulled on a clean shirt, waistcoat and coat, and Caroline had changed likewise. When she had done her hair and put on her jewellery, she observed herself in the mirror. Her gown was rather simple. She had when she had packed for the trip not counted on dining at a place like Rosings, but this was the best she could do.
She had been thinking about Richard's mother as she was dressing and she felt she had to go downstairs to speak with her, but when she went to Richard's room, she found he was gone. He had been here minutes ago, before she had gone to dress -- which currently took her around fifteen minutes. She had left him here, combing his hair.
This very likely meant that he had beaten her to his parents. It made her wonder what he was uncertain about. She had thought he was firmly in control of things and not at all confused. But if he was talking to his parents, she would not disturb them.
"Son," said Lord Matlock when he perceived Richard. He gave his son a pat on the shoulder in passing, before returning his attention to the placement of the billiard balls. "Your mother has been telling me you have found yourself a woman."
"Yes, Father. I have not greeted you properly, Mama," Richard said, kissing his mother. He had been too stunned upstairs.
"What about the woman, Richard? You had requirements the last time I asked you about women."
"I still do."
"And this woman?"
"I have not thought of her in connection to my requirements," Richard answered evasively.
"Do so now," his father ordered, stepping away from the billiards table to allow his wife better access. "Is she pretty?"
"Yes, Father."
He glanced at his wife for a second opinion. "Honoria?"
"Yes, Frederick."
"Is she clever?"
"Yes, Father."
"Honoria?"
"I have my doubts, Frederick." That response won her an offended look from her son and she smiled. "She is very naïve."
"I did not know that kind of girl was still around," the Earl commented. "But I am not sure that kind is good for Richard. He would fare better with an opinionated little thing."
"I assure you, Father, that the not so little thing is very opinionated and despite the fact that Mama seems to think she is naïve, she is very curious and she keeps insisting that I enlighten her."
"We cannot have that, now can we," his father muttered. "To have you ruin her reputation by enlightening her." He pocketed a ball. "I have the solution."
"Mama will do it?" Richard asked eagerly.
"No, son. That would be foolish."
"Why? Mama could tell her from a woman's point of view."
"Richard, how clever are you?" Lord Matlock said to him. "I am not sure your mother will be able to discourage her adequately from engaging in such activities under my sister's roof while you are still not married."
While Richard digested his father's words, he saw that his mother was not going to disagree. That was a small disappointment. He had hoped his mother would take Caroline under her wings to take the pressure off himself.
The Earl continued. "You should have been wiser. This is not a common girl you have there. This is a lady who is well-known in the higher circles, a lady whose good name will be sullied and whose reputation will be irreparably damaged by your thoughtlessness and pursuit of your selfish desires. You should have behaved appropriately and ensured her reputation and her safety, even if she unwittingly invited you to take advantage of her. I know the temptation will have been strong. Your mother thinks she is innocent, but for an unmarried lady and gentleman to be found in their bedchambers in a state of considerable undress points to a certain loss of innocence and a rather more intimate relationship, does it not, Richard?" He looked his son directly in the face.
Richard stood frozen. "No, it does not." His own voice sounded strange to his ears. It pained him that his father should assume that he had taken advantage of Caroline.
Lord Matlock seemed not to have heard that. "This kind of rakish behaviour is not what I encouraged in you. I did not raise you to be a cad who only cares about satisfying his own lustful desires. I taught you to respect a lady's good name and feelings and not to use their bodies to your own advantage."
It was clear that this was a serious reprimand, for his parents had both abandoned their game of billiards. Richard had not received such a severe dressing-down in years. He was stunned.
"A man of your age and position should have been more prudent and careful with a lady he did not want to marry and it is obvious you do not want to marry her, or else you would either have done so already, or you would not have compromised her so disgracefully with so little regard for her reputation or feelings. I am disappointed that a son of mine should have conducted himself with so little propriety. You are causing our family no small amount of distress."
"Have you finished, Father?" Richard asked when his father paused.
"Was that not enough?"
"I am appalled that you appear to have such a low opinion of me as to accuse me of...of..."
Lord Matlock was not averse to repeating himself. "Ruining a lady's reputation to satisfy your own desires."
"I will concede that you have a point, even though the only desire I satisfied was my desire to tease."
"Richard, my point still stands, even if all you wanted was to tease. The fact is that you did not give any thought to the lady's good name or future."
"I did. I suggested that we pose as a married couple to protect her from other people's opinions." He felt that was not likely to convince his father of his good intentions, however.
"You could under the circumstances just as easily have posed as brother and sister. Do you take the wedded state seriously at all, Richard? Is it something that can be feigned by any two people intent on having a good time, or is it a union reserved for two people who have taken the conscious and irreversible decision to share their lives together?"
"It did not occur to me to pose as brother and sister."
"No, of course not!" his father cried sarcastically. He was warming to his topic now. "I know what was guiding you and it was not your head! Did you never heed my words? Do you not think it despicable to mislead a naïve young lady that way? What else did you convince her to do for appearances' sake?" He made the last two words sound very sarcastic.
"Nothing --"
"Tell me she is not with child."
Richard looked at his mother pleadingly. "Why did you not tell him what you heard her say?"
"That is not conclusive. If she does not know what could make her pregnant, she does not know what to avoid."
He wished his mother would support him, instead of speaking the truth.
"I agree with your mother," said the Earl. "Supposing she really does not know -- an impossible and dangerous lack of knowledge for a society lady with all these rakes running around -- who says you did not tell her what you did to her was an innocent thing without effects?"
"I did not do that to her." He would never do anything to her. He would only ever do something she wanted.
"But you might have done and who would dare to ask you directly except your parents? It does not matter whether you actually did it or not. It matters that you might have done! And if you come away still continuing the charade, pretending to be married, seeing each other half naked, it is not so much a matter of maybe having done it, but of inevitably succumbing to it! Not. Being. Married."
The thought of giving in shocked him. "I would never," he said automatically.
"Look me in the eyes and swear you would never succumb."
Richard did not even have to try that. "I cannot." He was afraid of the realisation. Given enough time he would do what his father despised and he would succumb to temptation and ruin the life of a woman he valued.
"She would be shunned by polite society. She would only be approached by men thinking she was amenable to the sort of thing that ruined her reputation. She --"
"Enough!" Richard's head was pounding from all these accusations and images. He wanted to go out into the fresh air, to ride out and ride fast.
"You have given him much to think about," the Countess said thoughtfully. "Go and get your uncle as soon as possible. We do not want any untoward actions to occur as a result of Richard's heartfelt apologies."
"Do you think they might?"
"It wants only a spark. In the meantime I shall act as chaperone. She will not leave my sight."
Thus no gentlemen were present at the dinner table. Lord Matlock was said to have urgent business and Richard's absence was not excused. Lady Catherine and Lady Matlock conversed, but the three young ladies and Anne's companion Mrs Jenkinson were silent.
Caroline wondered where Richard was. He had disappeared after talking to his parents. At least, she had assumed he was talking to them, but his mother gave no information about his whereabouts. However, if Lady Catherine did not inquire, no excuses were necessary and Lady Catherine did not ask after Richard, as if she knew where he was. It stung Caroline that Lady Matlock would have told Lady Catherine and not her.
She was too wrapped up in her own concerns to pay attention to the conversation at dinner and she was surprised when Richard's mother took her elbow after dinner, leading her to a corner of the drawing room. At the other end, Lady Catherine ordered Anne, Georgiana and Mrs Jenkinson to play a game of cards with her.
Georgiana was still lamenting the grave injustice done to her darling George by everyone. She did not really care for playing cards, but at least it prevented her from having to talk to the other person not playing. She was as uninterested in their concerns as she was in being interrogated about her own -- and her cousin and Caroline made her sick.
She had said so to her uncle when she had seen him leave. Well, she had not phrased it quite like that. She had said some people's sense of propriety made her sick. Her uncle, who had only politely inquired whether she was well, had looked odd at this remark. She supposed he was offended, but she did not care. They were all mean.
Chapter 26
Richard rode like a madman to lose some of the tension that had built up with him, not only during his father's speech but also in the days before. He paid no attention to the time and he simply rode on until he had had enough. Then he gave his poor horse some rest and he turned back at a more civilised pace. That he had missed dinner was of no consequence.
His parents did not approve.
That was something that kept going through his mind. In this case, his parents' approval mattered more than he had expected. Once he was ready to analyse the situation rationally, he could see they were right. He had behaved abominably to Caroline. He could see how his fondness for teasing might have ruined her forever.
There was only one way out. He would have to marry her.
That would not be a punishment. Like he had said to his father, he still had his requirements, but Caroline met them all. He had only realised that later. It was a good thing, he supposed, that he had never thought of his requirements in connection to her.
He could talk to her and he enjoyed doing so. She was not dull. Her company was stimulating. She was such a good person, too. He could not find any upsetting flaws in her character. And then he had not even considered her appearance yet -- those eyes, that face, that body. He was not supposed to know anything about her body, but he had kept his eyes open nevertheless.
It pained him to think he might have harmed her reputation, even if neither of them had thought of it as such. She had only been a reluctant accomplice at first, if she had been reluctant at all. She had never really protested against his company and later she had even seemed to enjoy it.
It made him wonder how she would receive his offer. She was clever enough to realise it was not entirely spontaneous. Perhaps she would think he was acting on his father's orders and that he did not mean it sincerely, but he did. Even if his parents had not come he would have realised that he wanted to continue living with her -- if that was what she wanted as well.
He reviewed her behaviour for clues as to how she felt about him. Must I marry you to get an answer? He could still hear those words. Which woman would cry that if she was going to be absolutely revolted by a positive answer? His mother had called it a proposal, but he knew his mother well enough to know that she sometimes embellished the truth for mischievous purposes. Still, which mother would do that if she was going to be absolutely revolted by having Caroline as a daughter-in-law?
Then he remembered that his mother had very little choice. The only thing to do would be for him to marry Caroline. His father would not accept anything else. That was quite clear. He had not spoken the words, but after such a speech there was no doubt as to what his father saw as the only honourable course of action.
It was good that this course of action was quite acceptable to Richard. It felt like a push he had been needing, to have it happen before he subjected Caroline to disgrace in the eyes of the world. Left to their own devices they might not have got married in time. He was not married yet, but he knew he had to work up the courage to ask her. Even if she had no choice, she would have to be asked.
But what if she preferred disgrace? What if she resented him for having forced her into this position? That would not make for a very happy marriage, he was sure. He would only like it if nothing changed between them.
Caroline found herself in the company of Richard's mother all of a sudden. She had not counted on that and wondered if she was going to be questioned now that she had not come downstairs for a private consultation.
"Do you play?" Lady Matlock inquired. "I hope you do." She wanted to have the opportunity for an innocent tête-à-tête with the girl.
"I do."
"Excellent. I hope you would not mind playing for me."
Caroline, with nothing better to do, could not refuse that request. It would prevent Lady Matlock from interrogating her.
Lord Matlock had also set off on his horse, but he did not encounter his son. He was on his way to persuade Uncle Percy to come to Rosings directly. This was potentially difficult, as Uncle Percy had always been a little disappointed that Richard had not gone into the church. The Archbishop was bound to say that a situation like this would never have occurred had Richard followed in his footsteps, instead of joining the army.
Richard first went upstairs to put on another set of clean clothes when he returned. After that, he considered joining the ladies, but to have all eyes upon him was not an attractive prospect. He did not want to have to explain himself at all. Missing dinner when he was not hungry was one thing, but missing dinner and then ordering a meal anyway was guaranteed to lead to questions.
He went to the kitchens first to have something to eat. He had it brought to the library, so that he might eat without informing the ladies of it. From Lady Catherine's drawing room he had heard the sound of music. It appeared as though nobody was discussing his absence at all. Surely his parents would have understood and made excuses for him? Then again, at his age he could no longer expect them to do that.
He thought of Caroline. She would not know where he was. As his alleged wife that might come across as a little strange and she might feel hurt that he had not told her. He finished his meal quickly, suddenly eager to rejoin the rest of the family.
As he entered the drawing room he was relieved to see his aunt was keeping people occupied by playing cards. A quick survey of the room told him that his mother and Caroline were seated behind the pianoforte. He directed his steps towards them.
Caroline looked up when he entered the room and she almost forgot to continue playing. "Where has he been?" she asked Lady Matlock.
"I do not know."
"I thought you did, because nobody asked me." There was no chance to say more, because he was coming towards them.
Lady Matlock wondered if she was going to witness a public proposal, but it did not happen. Richard paused on Caroline's side of the instrument and looked at her with such a clear desire to be alone with her that his mother felt sorry for him that she really could not leave them alone.
Caroline gave up playing and half rose from her stool. "Where did you go?"
"Sit," said Lady Matlock, pulling her back by her gown. She would not have public embraces yet. After Uncle Percy's visit she might be more lenient.
"I needed some exercise," Richard answered. He wondered what Caroline had wanted to do. She had seemed more relieved than angry, which was a good thing.
"At dinner time?" Caroline turned to Lady Matlock. She was not pleased with the order to sit. "But he wants to say something important to me."
"Nothing can be so important that his mother is not allowed to hear it."
When Caroline looked again, the urgency had disappeared from Richard's eyes. He did not have to fear her reaction. "I should like to offer my apologies for not informing you that I was riding out," he said. "I needed to think."
"Riding out because you needed to think?" Caroline frowned. "I suppose nothing has been resolved then. You think in other places."
"My thinking abilities are by no means restricted to those other places," he answered, meeting a curious glance from his mother. "As you well know."
"Yes, but you were funny in France when --" she broke off, realising his mother was also listening. "Oh well, you were just funny."
"Thank you." Before Caroline could do any damage, he looked at his mother again. "Mama, will you give up your seat?"
"You had much better ruin my playing than Caroline's," Lady Matlock replied. "He cannot read notes well enough to turn your pages and he cannot play more than a simple tune. But very well, Richard, if you want to impress the lady with your skills, ask her to give up her seat to you." She smiled at him charmingly.
That was not quite what he had in mind, but he smiled back sourly when Caroline stood up with a grin. She was eager to hear him. He touched a few keys when he had settled himself on the stool, pretending that this took some time. Then he played some scales up and down, which was really all he was capable of.
Caroline rested her elbows on the top of the pianoforte and laughed.
"Do not laugh. I know a tune." Richard painstakingly produced something that resembled a tune.
"Are there words?" She tried not to laugh too hard. That would be cruel, but he had no idea how funny he looked. "Can you sing?"
"There are words," he said with a frown, trying the tune again. "But it is an army song."
"What does that mean?"
"That it is generally sung by drunk officers."
"You must never be drunk if you cannot play it," Caroline commented. It was best not to ask about the words to the song. They were very likely not appropriate for a female audience.
Richard's mother was watching their interaction very closely, even thought she appeared to be just as amused. They got along well enough for them to laugh at each other, although the poor girl would be somewhat mistaken if she thought he never got drunk.
"That is a compliment I do not deserve. I cannot play because I do not have the talent." Richard had got the hang of the tune now and he played it over and over again, proud of his accomplishment.
It attracted Lady Catherine's interest. "Fitzwilliam, your fingering is atrocious! What are you pounding on those keys for?" she exclaimed from the other side of the room. "Do you want to break the instrument?" She left her card game in her indignation. "You must touch them lightly and with feeling! I cannot play with this travesty going on in the background. Who put you there? The instrument is not for men. They have no sensibilities."
"The children are having some supervised fun, Catherine," said Lady Matlock in an amused voice. "Do you want me to take them elsewhere?" She knew her sister-in-law would rather not have that, curious as she was.
"No! But for heaven's sake, teach him to play -- someone!" Lady Catherine returned to her cards, shaking her head.
Caroline's amusement had endeared her to Richard's mother. She was now prepared to make some concessions to propriety. She drew a chair near and sat on it, vacating her seat behind the piano. "I somehow think he would listen better to you, Caroline."
It did not take Caroline very long to sit down, though she restrained herself well. She began to help him. As long as it only involved touching hands, Lady Matlock saw no reason to interfere. She only had to cough discreetly twice, but her warnings were heeded and though everything was played double-handed, things were nevertheless being played.
"That sounds much better," said Lady Catherine when she came to inspect them after her card game was over and the other ladies were having a last snack before bedtime. "You must be talented, Fitzwilliam."
He smiled sheepishly, since his hands had never touched any keys. They had only been over Caroline's as she played.
"And that was a much better song than that dirty little army ditty with which you were assaulting my pianoforte at first." She turned to see whether Anne was eating enough. "There are refreshments on the table."
"Thank you, Caroline." Richard bowed to her. "I have a much better feel for it now."
"Cheeky boy," said his mother. "Go and eat before Anne eats it all." She held Caroline back to speak to her in private. "After the snacks Lady Catherine will retire. This is as good as an order for us ladies to retire as well. I hope you will not be affronted by what I am going to say, but I think it would be best if I stayed with you tonight."
"Why?" Caroline could not immediately think of a reason why. She could only think that she would much rather stay with Richard.
"To prevent certain things from happening. Tell me, do you like it when Richard is near you? When he touches you?"
Caroline was certain that this was her worst blush ever. She hesitated before answering, wondering which answer was most politic. In the end she decided to be honest, although it came out very softly. "I do."
Richard's mother smiled kindly. "That is perfectly all right, but not yet. Not tonight."
Amazingly enough Caroline's cheeks could burn even worse. "What would happen tonight?"
"Perhaps nothing, perhaps too much. After you are married I would encourage it, Caroline," Lady Matlock said, so as not to give the impression that she was preventing something terrible from happening. "It is quite nice, actually. And after all, I want my grandchildren."
She left Caroline staring after her with a mystified expression.
Uncle Percy had been persuaded that it was absolutely necessary that Frederick's son was married at once so as to avoid a huge family scandal, so he had agreed to accompany Lord Matlock to Rosings Park. This success was worth listening to several hours of the old man's lectures on how he should not have allowed his son to become an officer. This was what had come of it.
Chapter Twenty-seven
Richard observed in dismay that his mother accompanied Caroline to her room. He was not entirely sure what he had wanted to say to her, but he felt acutely that he was being denied the opportunity to be alone with her. Furthermore, his mother did not seem to have any plans to abandon Caroline any time soon, the way she grinned at him. There were times when one was quite ready to have less than cordial feelings to one's parents.
He went to his own bedchamber, taking off his coat and tossing it aside. Then he threw himself onto his bed and stared into space. The more impossible it was to go to her, the more he wanted to. His insides writhed in agony at the evil his mother was inflicting upon him.
Then suddenly he heard several doors being opened in turn, very quickly, as if the person was walking fast between them, and Caroline appeared on the threshold of the door to his sitting room. Her cheeks were flushed and she looked excited. "Quick! Your mother has gone to collect her things from her room."
He sat up looking equally excited, but he did not really know what to do now that he had her here.
Caroline did. She took an unladylike dive onto the bed and installed herself next to him. "There is something I really have to say to you."
"Fire away." Richard looked pleased. This was how it would have been had his mother not interfered. They would have been lying here all night, talking.
"Your mother..."
"My mother is evil."
"No, no, she is not. Do not be so unkind. She is only confusing me." She turned slightly onto her side so she could watch him. "But I have to say that it does not take all that much at the moment, so it is not her fault at all."
"You are too generous. What did you want to say to me?" He wondered why everything was confusing to her. Could he help?
"That I am not avoiding you." It was his mother who was keeping her away from him. She did not want to investigate Lady Matlock's reasons, for she might agree with them rationally.
"I had guessed as much from your lovely dive -- and I always thought you were a lady."
Caroline gave a dignified, but happy little sigh. "I do not have to behave in front of you. I may do as I please."
But she was proven wrong about that when Lady Matlock spoke up. "I somehow knew I would find you here." She stared down at the bed sternly. She could not turn her back for one moment and the girl escaped, not into Richard's arms, but onto his bed to lie on it very innocently. It was so odd she almost laughed.
Richard felt the urge to scramble to his feet guiltily, but then he remembered that it was his own bed and that he was not doing anything wrong. He wondered how long his mother had been standing there. It could not have been very long. Caroline had only just arrived. His mother must have appeared after Caroline had reached the bed. After this he had no longer looked at the door, naturally.
Lady Matlock hesitated whether she should be kind to them or drive them crazy. She decided on the latter. If she gave in now, they were undoubtedly doomed. "Young lady, what did I tell you downstairs?"
"But I really had to..." Caroline slid her legs over the edge of the bed and stood up. She knew she had been in the wrong.
"And you have had time for that now. Come with me. You will thank me for it later."
"G-G-Good night, Richard," Caroline mumbled. She followed Lady Matlock back to her own sitting room, where the elder woman locked the door behind them. She looked at it in consternation. "Surely...there is no need..."
"Perhaps you had best examine your needs, Caroline," said Lady Matlock mysteriously.
Caroline watched as Lady Matlock's maid arranged a few of her mistress' belongings in the room. She did not need to be assisted herself, even though the offer was made. When she was ready to put on her night gown, she could not find it in her trunk.
Lady Matlock frowned as she observed the spectacle. "Have you lost something?"
"My night gown."
Richard's mother was not able to find it either. She did not comment on the various items in the trunk that were marked R. F., but deduced that her son's trunk must be containing some C. B. items for some unfathomable reason. "Did you pack it yourself?"
"No, I did not."
"Stay here and I will get you a night gown." The Countess gathered up all the R. F. items, marched through the connecting doors, unlocking the one that was locked, and knocked on her son's door. There was no chance she would allow Caroline to go to Richard's room dressed like that.
"Come in," he said hopefully.
She stepped into the room and held out her hand. Richard was lying on the bed, looking miserable when he saw it was her. "Caroline's night gown, if you please." She wondered if she was being taken for a fool or if the two had accidentally mislaid some of their clothes in the other's trunk. It would of course not have mattered had no parents interfered and they could not have known she would be here. That probably meant this was a very innocent mix-up.
"What would I be doing with that?"
"What is she doing with your underclothes?" she asked, dropping them on the bed.
He stared at them in mild curiosity, but not surprise. "She had them washed by the hotel laundry service. I suppose she did not sort them from her own when she got them back."
"French hotels do not do that for you?"
"Apparently not."
"I thought she had not taken a maid to France. Who packed her trunk?" There could only be one answer, but she was curious.
Richard wondered if he should reveal it. Then decided it could not do any more harm than had already been done. "I did."
"Why did you?"
"I thought it was only fair. I had been a little hard on her in the beginning, forcing her to travel without comforts."
Lady Matlock sat beside him on the bed and gave him a hug, ruffling his hair. "She was right, you know. You cannot lose my good opinion, despite the silly things that you do. I am really sorry I have to cause you some temporary grief, but I think you know I mean well."
"Yes, Mother." He did not really sound convinced.
"And so does your father. Tomorrow night you may do as you please. Now, give me the girl's night gown if you will."
He had no time to look for it. There were more important things on his mind. "Tomorrow? I do not see the difference between today and tomorrow. We will still not be married. I have not asked her; I have not gone to get a license; I really --"
To his surprise she smiled. "You really ought to get some sleep. Do you not know what fathers are for?"
"He is...?" Belatedly Richard realised that his father had indeed been absent from the drawing room. He had been thinking too much about Caroline to notice.
"He is. Night gown, son."
In a daze he picked it out of his trunk. "Do you mean that tomorrow by this time I might be married?" Did she mean his father was at this moment sorting out the situation? And how?
"I hope so. I do not really feel like playing chaperone another night." She accepted the night gown and felt the material between her fingers. "She wears some good quality clothing, your intended."
He was not really interested in the fabric of Caroline's night gown. "Do you not think I need to ask her anything first?"
"She cannot say no. Get some sleep."
"I do not want her to feel as if I was forced to marry."
But he was forced to marry! Lady Matlock did not quite understand what the problem was. "The young lady dispenses with formalities awfully easily where you are concerned. What makes you think she needs to be asked?"
Lady Matlock returned to Caroline with the night gown. Then she set about her own toilette, after which she got into the bed. "I hope," she said as she blew out the candle, "that I may depend on you not to visit Richard in the middle of the night when I am fast asleep. It would not do."
"I will not, Madam."
"Is that because you feel no inclination or because you are afraid of me?"
Caroline had to be truthful. "Because I am afraid of you." She had even got into bed quickly so the older woman could not comment on anything she did. Her watchful eyes did not miss a thing and she had no qualms about speaking up either.
"The last person who said that to me was my husband. He got over that as well."
"How?" Caroline inquired.
"By finding out I was not frightening."
"Why did he think you were?" She would agree with him, but if they agreed on the reasons why, perhaps there was hope for her.
"Oh," Lady Matlock said airily. "Because I am usually right and because I never openly voice my mischievous intentions. Because most people have so little insight it would be useless to be open with them. You have to manipulate them. My husband says what he wants to say. He knows the wriggling is sometimes more tactful, but he cannot do it. He makes sure they understand him -- at once -- because he has enough insight to make sense. He does not have the patience to play my sort of games. I actually find him much more frightening than myself because he is much more confrontational. I cannot bring myself to tell you the truth, for instance. I prefer to lead people to their own realisations. They are often much more true. Even I could be wrong."
There was much to think about in those words. She could not address everything at once. "Do you mean that they would otherwise live out someone's else's truth?" She thought of Georgiana. "And that another confrontation would not change their minds because they do not really understand how they came to be where they are now? They can only cling to what they have been told. People who say something different are mean."
"I am glad you see my meaning. You can apply it to many people, not only to the one you are thinking of. The trick is to know when to use which approach. My husband, I think, was quite effective in speaking to Richard earlier. The same approach would not work on my niece."
Hearing that Lord Matlock could be frightening explained why Richard had been absent. "Why did it work on Richard?" She wondered what had been said. He had never struck her as someone who could be frightened.
"Because he knows where he is, really. He got there by himself. He only wanted some confirmation and some prodding."
This raised an important question, if a confrontation was a confirmation. "If you cannot bring yourself to tell me the truth, does that mean that I do not know where I am?"
"I cannot answer that for you. Only you know the answer."
Caroline thought about it. "Since no one confronted me before, it follows that I must also have got here by myself. I mean that Richard did tell me we ought to pose as a couple, but I did not follow him blindly, thinking this was the absolute truth and everything else was wrong. So that could not really have been a confrontation. You are trying to make me realise something, are you not?"
"That comes naturally to me," Lady Matlock admitted. She smiled in the darkness.
"Why can you not just tell me what you perceive the truth to be, if you perceive that I am not quite there yet? I am sure that would be quicker."
"If you were not the questioning sort, I might. But as you seem to be, I am sure you would have some problems with not knowing how you got from A to Z, even though you might know that you are very comfortable at Z. You would want to know."
Caroline chuckled. "I think that might be right!"
"We do not know you as well as we know Richard. He was very near Z. It would have done more harm not to confront him. We do not know where you are. There was a large chance that we might frighten you unnecessarily -- possibly back to point A."
"What if I am at B?"
"If you were only at B, which I doubt, then surely this talk must have already pulled you halfway through the alphabet by now?"
Caroline examined her current position. She could not define precisely where she was, but a vague indication sufficed. "All right, I think I might be a long way gone."
"And not yet frightened?"
"Is there anything to be frightened of?"
"So you are, a little," Lady Matlock stated in a gentle voice. "That is all right, Caroline. I should have been surprised had you been without fears or worries. It is merely a sign that you are questioning your situation and what might follow."
"I shared many things with my sister and brother," Caroline mused. "But never everything. How can I want to talk about everything to Richard? Why do I want this? It was not always like that. He mocked me in the beginning and he was usually right and that annoyed me. I was determined not to give him any more chances and then he began to appreciate me for that, I think. But that does not explain..." She paused for a moment. "Why I want to share all these things, even if they are nothing. Why I know he would not let anything happen to me. Why I know he values my opinion -- my opinion, not what I am expected to think..."
Again she paused, a sigh signalling that she was not yet finished. "What if he does not feel the same?"
"Does this worry you?" asked Lady Matlock, who was not at all worried about it.
"Yes, it does."
"Would you doubt the man who liked you so much that he was shocked to admit to his father that in due time he would have succumbed to temptation?"
Caroline had to dissect that question in order to make sense of it. So he liked her very much. That was clear, but the rest was not. "But there we are back to the meaningless word temptation, which Richard said was the temptation to live as husband and wife before marriage, which was not the same as pretending to be married, and which involves kissing, according to Georgiana, and touching, according to you, as well as grandchildren?"
Lady Matlock wondered if she had to be more direct and confrontational. "Oh, Frederick. Help me!" she sighed.
"Why does Georgiana not have a child? Or my sister? They are married." Caroline was still thinking. There was something fundamental still missing.
"Does your sister ever share a bedchamber with her husband?"
"Oh, I do not know. It has never interested me much. At home or in my brother's house they each have their own room. I do not always travel with them. And I do not think Richard would have shared a bed with me if that had anything to do with it."
The sound that Richard's mother made was a mixture of a snort and a cough. "My dear girl, if he had not liked you, do you not think he would have slept elsewhere?"
"What does liking a person have to do with having children? I know plenty of people who do not seem to like each other much, but who are married anyway and who also have children."
"Let us concentrate on his feelings for you. I am trying to give you examples that show that he likes you -- because of what he did and could have done differently. Think of yourself. Would you have agreed to share a bed if you had detested him?"
"Of course not," Caroline said immediately. She even remembered telling him that she would not wrap herself in a sheet for a stranger and if she was not mistaken she had been lying in bed when she had said so -- which was a little funny, now that she thought about it.
"Then does it not follow that the same applies to him?"
"Aaaah," she exhaled audibly. "I suppose that he likes me then if he shares a room with me and never gives me any compliments, but how do I know we are not just good friends and he does not like me as a sister? I do not like him as a brother. I have a brother. I can tell the difference. Now. Now -- oh, why did I tell you that?" She felt pleasantly nervous talking about it.
"Because I wanted you to tell me -- and yourself. How do you know you do not like him as a brother?"
"Oh..." Caroline blushed. She knew she had to go on now, though. Once started, she had to continue, however scary it was. "I sometimes want to do something -- but of course I never do."
"Do you now understand why I cannot allow you to stay with him tonight?" It sounded as if Lady Matlock was quite pleased with herself and she was, having wriggled this admission out of Caroline. Never mind that it was not specific.
"A little...but I still do not know why it would be so bad. Does Richard understand?" If he did not, she would insist that his mother tell him right away. If he understood he might stop feeling so bad.
"Oh yes." Richard would most certainly understand why his mother perceived a danger on his side. If merely being a man was not reason enough, his father's instructions several years ago had undoubtedly enlightened him thoroughly. Lady Matlock was well acquainted with her husband's ability to make himself understood, as well as with his knowledge of the subject.
"But how could he, if I do not even know what I want to do?"
Here, Lady Matlock thought, a little explanation was in order, but knowing herself it would probably turn out to be rather lengthy and not quite straight to the point.
Chapter Twenty-eight
After a while of feeling miserable, Richard pulled himself together. The situation was his own fault. He could lie here and pine, or he could behave like a man. The latter was decidedly a more attractive option.
He did not fear what his mother might say to Caroline. She had assured him that she meant well. There was still something he had to say to Caroline, even though his mother had said it would not be necessary. His own conscience demanded that his feelings were conveyed to her before the wedding and if he could not speak with her before then, he would have to resort to writing. Surely his mother would not mind if he passed Caroline a note.
With renewed energy he sat down in his sitting room. He much preferred action. As many others before him and undoubtedly after him, he quite liked writing down the name of his beloved. He had to restrain himself from writing it all over the sheet, as it would leave too little room for the rest of the message. For a moment he wondered if it was not clear enough if he gave her a letter with only her name in it, but he expected that a lady of her standing would expect some more literacy of a gentleman. He was no poet, however, and he sincerely hoped this would not disappoint her.
Caroline,I hope my mother has not neglected to tell you that you cannot escape being married to me. My father has certainly not neglected to inform me of it.
There was no need to trouble her with the pain and embarrassment he had suffered.
I offer you my humblest apologies for my pitiful courtship and for any lectures you have had to suffer as a result. It was certainly never my intention to expose you to such reactions.
What was he going on about? He had not had any intentions at all.
There can be no excuse for my lack of intentions in the past. I can only assure you of my intentions with regard to the future. Whatever the circumstances, I sincerely want to marry you and nothing would make me happier than to know you would also be happy to be my wife.Forgive me for failing to express myself adequately, but I miss you.
R.F.
He considered apologising for his poor writing skills, but there would not be any point. After folding the sheet he wrote her name on either side and pushed it under the door into her sitting room, hoping she would find it in the morning. He left a bit sticking out on his side, so he could see if it had been removed. Then he went to bed.
When Lord Matlock returned to Rosings with Uncle Percy, the house was in darkness. He was pleased to find that his sister had ordered a servant to wait up for him, so that nobody would be disturbed by his arrival. It was vital that Georgiana did not get to hear of any of this, either personally or through a servant.
He left Uncle Percy in one of the upstairs drawing rooms with a glass of a fortifying beverage, despite the nightly hour, woke up his sister and then tried to find his wife. She was not in either of their rooms, but then he remembered that she had said she would not let the girl out of her sight. He knew where to find her then.
Caroline woke up to the sound of someone knocking on the door. Lady Matlock did not stir and the insistent repetitions, albeit soft, signalled that it was important. She had better answer.
She peered out through a crack in the door. By the light of a candle she could make out a male figure outside the room. At first she thought it was Richard. "Go away. Lady Matlock will be angry," she whispered urgently.
"But Lady Matlock asked me to come."
"She did not. Please do not make me break my promise. She was nice to me."
"She is always nice, but she still asked me to come."
"Come back in the morning when I am dressed." She tried to close the door, but he had put his foot forward.
"My wife, if you please, Madam," the figure requested politely. The flickering of the candle light suddenly showed him to be an older man. It had to be Richard's father.
Caroline gasped. She wondered why she had not considered that possibility before. "Yes, My Lord. I thought..." She fled before she could finish her apology, shaking Lady Matlock awake with her trembling hands. "Er...there is a gentleman at the door. I think he might be Lord Matlock."
Her Ladyship sat up with a sleepy groan.
"I was trying to send him away because I thought he was Richard. Would you please apologise to him?" Caroline begged. "He had not told me who he was."
"I doubt that he was offended. Get back into bed and enjoy those last few minutes, my dear. It is almost time to get up." She groaned again and staggered towards the door.
Caroline sat on the bed and tried to discern from a distance what went on at the door. There was a chuckle and some whispering, and then Lady Matlock took her husband into the sitting room, or rather the reverse, since she seemed to be supported by an arm around her waist.
She felt miserable. It was very early, she had just insulted the Earl of Matlock and she was still not married -- and Lord Matlock might at this moment be trying to persuade his wife that Caroline was highly unsuitable for their son. The sitting room was no longer dark. She could see they had opened the curtains to let the weak morning light come in.
A maid entered her room. "Lady Catherine sent me to prepare your bath, Madam." She made it sound as if this order could not be contradicted. "It will be in your bathroom." Then she disappeared to finish her preparations.
Lady Catherine was up as well? Caroline glanced at the clock and blinked. They were all worse than Richard in this family. It looked as if she was marrying the best of them. She wrapped something around herself, walked towards the sitting room and peered in. "Excuse me, My Lady, Lady Catherine appears to have sent a maid to prepare my bath. I thought it wise to tell you about it, in case you find me gone and think I had not kept my word." She cast a frightened glance at the gentleman, who had stood up to bow. He was observing her, but she could not see if he was disapproving.
"Excellent," said Lady Matlock. "I should introduce you to my husband, although you have already met. Perhaps we ought to wait until you are ready, but he must go about the preparations and that would be a waste of time should he disapprove of you now."
Caroline, who was afraid of Lady Matlock and who had been told by the lady that her husband was more frightening than she was, braced herself.
"I could never disapprove of a young lady who flatters me by mistaking me for my son," the Earl said gallantly.
Caroline stared at him. She had expected anything but pleasant gallantry.
"Perhaps before taking your bath you should read that letter that has been pushed under the door." He gestured at the door to Richard's sitting room. "It was there when we came in."
She picked up the folded sheet of paper gingerly. Her name was indeed written on it. It was Richard's handwriting, she could tell. His words gave her such a warm feeling inside that she thought she would cry. Failing to express himself adequately indeed! She beamed as she read the words again. There was nothing inadequate about them.
"Good news?" Lady Matlock asked after several minutes.
Caroline sighed deeply and returned to being aware of her surroundings. "Very good. Would you allow me to write a quick reply?"
"By all means answer."
Caroline sat down at the writing desk.
Richard,I regret that I cannot show you my appreciation for your perfect note in person. Remind me to do so later.
Almost C. F.
She pushed it under his door quickly before his mother could want to read it and say she was being improper. Then she went to get ready for her bath, hiding Richard's note away.
Richard was ordered out of bed by his father's valet. His first thought was of his letter and he checked the door to see if it had been taken. After his initial disappointment in seeing a sheet of paper still in place, he realised it was further into his room than he had left it, so he picked it up.
He grinned stupidly at it and then lost himself in a contemplation of how Caroline might show her appreciation in person. Anything would be welcome.
"I am sorry to inform you that the young lady is having all the water that was heated, Colonel," said his father's valet when Richard stepped into the bath without thinking. He cringed in anticipation. "Should I go and ask if her bath is full and if yours may be heated next?"
Richard barely noticed the cold. "What is a little discomfort on the morning of your wedding to the loveliest woman on earth, Price?" he asked philosophically. "At least I will be thoroughly awake." The cold water sent a pleasant shock through his body, followed by persistent tingle.
"Yes, Colonel." Price did not sound as if he agreed.
When Richard washed his hair he let out a gasp, though, but he was determined not to give up. He could suffer this. After a while one got used to the cold.
He had still not seen any family members when he was dressed and ready and he wondered. His father would not have lent out Price for no reason at this hour. Something must be about to happen. "Price..."
The valet appeared to be capable of reading minds. "Yes, Colonel. Ladies take longer."
Lord Matlock came to collect him a minute later. "Let us go, Richard. You do not want to keep your lady waiting."
He rose instantly. "Where is she?"
"You will see her in an instant. We are off to Catherine's chapel. Are we not a useful family?" He beamed and patted his son on the back.
"Father, after your lecture...I had not expected you to look pleased."
"I am heartily amused. This morning when I came to wake your mother, it was your young lady who opened the door to hiss at me that I should go away because Lady Matlock would be angry. She would not let me in until I put my foot in the door and asked for my wife. It dawned on her only then that I was not you."
Rosing's private chapel was not often used, unless it had got into Lady Catherine's mind that the lady of the house should be using it now and then. It was empty save for an old bespectacled clergyman in impressive robes and a young lady sitting with her head bowed and her hands folded. Her devout attitude was deceptive, for she looked up when she heard footsteps and she sprang to her feet. The clergyman looked at her in annoyance, seeing his preparations disturbed by this sudden movement, but the young lady did not notice.
"Richard!" Caroline said softly. She had been feeling very nervous, being left alone here with the old man -- an archbishop of all people -- while Lady Catherine and Lady Matlock had gone to do things. In any other setting, an archbishop would not have frightened her, but he appeared to belong to the family she was marrying into and he was looking at her as if she was desecrating both the family and Lady Catherine's chapel.
"Caroline." He held out his hands and grasped hers. His father could not deny him this small liberty.
What with all the looks going back and forth, Lord Matlock felt decidedly superfluous, but he knew his wife would not think so. He remained next to Richard, studying the girl more closely. There was a considerable difference with earlier this morning, he noted, now that she was dressed up and her hair had been done. Richard could take her places and nobody would frown.
"Did you receive my note?" she asked.
Richard nodded. "In person?" he asked hesitantly.
"He would refuse to marry us, I am sure, if I did that before we were married," Caroline whispered. "He is already not looking upon me very fondly."
"You will have a clever wife, Richard," said Lord Matlock, who agreed that whatever Caroline wanted to do had better wait until later. "And a man should always do what clever wives say, no matter what Uncle Percy is going to make of things."
"Lord Matlock, Lord Matlock," said the old man loudly. "Where are the ladies? I had understood they wished to be present. I wish to start. Women are always such nuisances."
"They will be along shortly, Uncle Percy. Do you still remember what we agreed on? No psalms." He thought it best to check. His uncle was fairly old, after all.
"I shall have to go along with this, even though I ought to protest. They are an integral part of the ceremony."
"The ceremony shall end after the blessing," Lord Matlock decreed.
"Thank you, Father," Richard muttered.
Uncle Percy finished his blessing and looked dissatisfied. He stepped back to signify the ceremony was over, but he clearly had more to say to the young couple. After all formalities and congratulations had taken place, Lady Matlock addressed Uncle Percy. "You will want to speak to them, I am sure." Now that Uncle Percy needed no blunt directions anymore, there had been a smooth change in which of Richard's parents took charge. They had not even discussed it among themselves.
"I thought a short word might be in order."
Lord Matlock had persuaded him not to have this short word before the ceremony, as time would not have allowed it. Uncle Percy's short words were anything but short. A short lecture from him that began at dawn might have lasted until noon, for it would not have been politic to interrupt him if his services were still needed. Now, however, he might lecture and be interrupted as much as anyone would like.
"A more appropriate setting for this would be the library," Lady Matlock suggested. "Catherine can have breakfast served there." She half turned towards her son and winked. "And the chairs are more comfortable there as well. People might doze off. Especially if they have been up all night. Foggy and I will go to bed," she said to her sister-in-law.
Lady Catherine took Uncle Percy into a corner and conferred with him.
Caroline stood a little forlornly. The formalities had not made as deep an impression as she had thought they would. Although it was a tremendous relief to be married, there was an occasion she remembered more fondly. "I still prefer that one time we were looking at the map," she said softly, but she was not sure that Richard had heard her.
Lady Matlock took Caroline's head between her hands and placed a kiss on her forehead. "If you decide to leave for Town, come and wake us." She could not do the same to her son as he was too tall, but she hugged him instead.
Caroline recognised it as the same sort of thing Richard had done to her in France. It made her smile to find out where he had learnt it.
"Nolly..." Lord Matlock coughed discreetly. "That might not be a good idea. Leaving for Town, that is," he added.
"Why not? I think..." But no one became privy to Her Ladyship's thoughts, for she was whisked out of the chapel by her husband and she was for a moment incapable of speech. Down the hall they could hear her speak up again, however.
"Uh?" Caroline said, looking baffled.
"I wish I could do that," Richard said enviously. He wondered if he could risk Uncle Percy's wrath by dragging Caroline away without undergoing a lecture. For all he knew the man might tear up the marriage certificate, or had his father pocketed that? His father had pocketed something, at any rate. He had vaguely stored this action in his memory. "But I suppose it will take a few years before one can get away with that sort of thing."
"A few years of what?"
"Of proving to you that my intentions are good." She might protest otherwise. She had looked strangely at his mother's not protesting. He did not know whether his mother had ever objected to his father's ways, but he had never noticed that she was displeased with how she was removed from boring company. Perhaps she had been different in her younger days.
Caroline stole a glance at Lady Catherine and Uncle Percy, who were still discussing. The clergyman was speaking with great zeal and Lady Catherine was nodding -- nodding, not even speaking. "If the choice were between having to listen to the Archbishop and your bad intentions, I would take your bad intentions. Always."
"Always?"
"Forever," she assured him solemnly.
He took her hand and pulled her out of the chapel.