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Chapter 15 ~ continued

Elizabeth allowed Darcy to usher her into the waiting carriage, and when the door closed and it began to move down the street, he gathered her onto his lap that her legs rested upon the seat. He kissed her with all the fervor he had restrained during the evening. She responded in kind. Finally, when he pulled his lips from her, he whispered, “I thought the evening would never end. How do you feel, Mrs. Darcy?”

“I am fine, Fitzwilliam, a little tired, but otherwise fine.”

“No pains or dizziness?”

“No, my love, just tired, the kind that is at the end of a lovely evening. Thank you for allowing this. I know you did so only to please me.”

“I was also able to enjoy the opera, whenever I took my mind off you.”

She teased. “Pray tell me, just how many minutes of the four hour opera did you truly enjoy?”

Darcy’s voice became serious. “I admit I was worried. I always worry with regard to your health.” He took her hand and kissed it and gazed into her eyes. “I promise to allow you as much freedom as I feel comfortable, Lizzy, but you must obey me when I feel you have overtaxed yourself and need to rest.”

“I promise,” she whispered back.

He kissed her forehead and held her to him. By the time the carriage turned on Grosvenor Square to arrive at their townhouse, she had fallen asleep. He carried her up to her room without awaking her, and laid her gingerly on her bed. Betty gently unbuttoned and removed the pelisse with Elizabeth barely stirring, and then removed her jewelry, placing it in the velvet box on her dressing table. Darcy thought to allow Elizabeth to remain asleep, and asked Betty to not to remove Elizabeth’s clothing but only her shoes and loosen her dress clasps and her corset lacings.

When he returned to her after making himself ready to retire, he gently lay beside her within the covers, pressing himself next to her as he enclosed her in his arms. All he could think was how much he loved her.

Chapter 16 a

Since Pemberley was too far for one day’s journey, Darcy had arranged in advance for an overnight stop half way with rooms at a comfortable inn on the outskirts of Northampton. By the time they had arrived it was evening, with the journey being tiring for Elizabeth and her queasiness more pronounced. Although stiff with being so long in the carriage and the wish to stretch her legs, Elizabeth found herself too exhausted for more than the short walk from the coach station to the inn, leaning heavily on Darcy’s arm. The fires in their rooms had already been lit and the warmth greeted them.

At his insistence, Elizabeth lay down on the bed while Darcy went downstairs to see to dinner and make sure that rooms on the lower floor had been made available for the groomsmen and servants including his valet and Elizabeth’s maid following in the second coach with the trunks. Finding Betty in the lobby, Darcy asked that she go up to the mistress room to see to her needs while he finalized his arrangements with the proprietor.

Elizabeth had consumed but a little of a muffin that morning, so little that Darcy wondered how it would keep a bird alive. Elizabeth had tried to eat more than a few bites, but the ride in the coach had caused her more unease that up came what she had consumed. Upon Darcy’s returning to their rooms, he heard that awful sound of Elizabeth’s inability to hold down even what little she had eaten that day. This followed with Betty’s consoling voice. “There, there, mistress. I know, I know.”

Darcy was dismayed but thankful that both he and Mr. Bennet had agreed that Betty accompany Elizabeth from Longbourn. True the Bennets had not wished to relinquish such a faithful servant, but when Betty had agreed to the position with excitement, both men realized this would be the only familiar face either she or Elizabeth would see upon their journey. With Darcy knowing he was taking Elizabeth from everything she had ever known, he was grateful to her father who knew Betty would be able to comfort Elizabeth during her trip with this confinement in ways that even her husband could not yet know.

Elizabeth tried to stay optimistic with her stomach now unwilling to pass even the smallest amounts of food to leave her in a weakened state, trying all the while to tease her husband from his brooding expressions. “At least you are blessed by not having a wife so rotund she has difficulties getting through doorways.” He tried to be more like her father as he quipped, “I thank you for that for indeed you are good to think not to tax the horses too much.” They smiled at one another. He offered his arm. “Are you well enough to try to eat some small amount at dinner?” She nodded and rose to take his arm.

At the table in the dining area Darcy had to be content at her eating but teaspoons of food for now, just to keep her strength up. He watched as she consumed one bite at a time, pausing to feel if what she had consumed would be accepted. When she began to ingest more, he stayed her hand. Not wishing her try to eat more only to have it be rejected he gazed into her eyes. “Do not try to overeat on my account, Elizabeth. I know you are aware of my concerns that you eat more that you keep your health, but we might regret what the results of that could be.”

In a voice so reminiscent of her youngest sister, Elizabeth whined, “But I am so hungry! Lord, but I could eat everything on this whole table!” Darcy jaw dropped open in stunned silence as he gazed at his wife as though she had transfigured into someone else entirely. It was apparent she was exhibiting another of the most common traits of a woman carrying a child that Darcy wondered how soon any others signs would appear. Before he thought the better of it he began to chuckle, “that would be a sight to behold.” She slapped his arm at such an insensitive statement before she too gained her own equilibrium back, and likewise began to giggle at the thought of the entire table of food being left in shambles by her excess.

“Just one more bite, please!” She ate some more of a truly delicious muffin covered with creamy butter. “Hmmm, this is so good.”

“It is one of those from our delightful Andre at the townhouse.”

After tea, he took Elizabeth to her rooms, and then removed to his own while Betty aided her mistress into her nightclothes. Darcy joined her some little time later, holding her throughout the night as she slept contentedly against his warmth. His worry never truly left him, but at times like this, he marveled at her sweet serenity within his embrace making him feel as though he could keep them safe. He wished his own father were yet alive that Darcy might discuss with him the best ways to care for someone being with child, a Fitzwilliam child, now a Darcy child with all the infirmities that came along with it.

What could father have told me about coping with such feelings of helplessness in her time of need?

He hugged Elizabeth tighter and tried to sleep. Smelling her wonderful lavender scent and hearing her sigh against him gave him the relief he needed to drift off into slumber to sleep through the remainder of the night.

At dawn Darcy awoke, arising only to re-stoke the fire that Elizabeth awake to its warmth. He had again dozed off beside Elizabeth’s form when he heard her soft moan. Gazing down at her face in the growing light, he wondered if she was dreaming or if she was in pain. He kissed her temple softly to gently awaken her. She heard his soft voice. “Lizzy? What is wrong, Lizzy?”

“My stomach…I…”

He gently began to massage her midsection with a circular motion as he whispered, “Shhhh, it’s all right, try to think of something…pleasant.” He kissed her temple again while his hand continued rubbing her tummy.

She smiled, her eyes still closed. “Hmm, Pemberley.”

He chuckled at her not thinking first of him, but rather his home, their home. Kissing her cheek softly he whispered, “that will do,” still continuing his massage and hearing her sigh contently as she rolled onto her side, returning once more to slumber. He pulled her to his chest, his arm holding her against him, his face nuzzling her neck. Soon he too fell back to a pleasant sleep.

Having awoken later, he left her to dress and go settle the bill noting that all those of his party were finishing their breakfast and readying to leave. Betty went up to attend her mistress. When Darcy entered his adjoining room to complete his packing, to his dismay he heard the sound of retching coming from Elizabeth’s room followed by Betty’s soft voice. He hung his head at his own helplessness in this matter.

Thank the Lord her maid seems able to aid her through these bouts.

He wondered how long this malady would last. Would it plague Elizabeth all through her confinement that she will be, like his mother, too weak at the end? He also wondered at the wisdom of disallowing her to eat whatever and however much she pleased if only that some small amount be retained. He vowed to have a more extensive talk with Mrs. Reynolds about what he should expect as she seemed very knowledgeable of it

When they reached Pemberley, Darcy instructed all the staff to abide by his wishes to aid him at keeping the Mistress abed or at least at rest. This was immediately inferred to mean that she may already be with child, and the servants were quite delighted if it be the case, and acted accordingly. It was confirmed when Darcy told Mrs. Reynolds the herbal remedy to be readied each day for Elizabeth which the housekeeper recognized as False Unicorn and Capsicum.

However, Elizabeth bristled at the sudden further curtailment of her freedom to roam the grounds of Pemberley, something she had so looked forward to since she had first come to visit with the Gardiners. Thinking that she had not experienced a repetition of her pains Elizabeth saw no harm in some walking and so refused at first to obey Darcy’s edicts, oftentimes removing from the house at all hours of the day to see the wonderful views from the hills beyond the mansion.

Whenever Darcy was informed that the Mistress was not about the house, he would go out in search for her usually finding her on paths nearby and gently admonishing her. “The doctor has advised both of us that it be unwise to have you exert yourself much.”

Elizabeth, for her part could barely tolerate his censure now, but with a silent nod of agreement she disallowed her resentment to show toward his now controlling her every movement. She thought he would understand her desires to view his magnificent park that was now hers.

Over time Fitzwilliam will see that no harm has come to us and see the wisdom of allowing me this enjoyment.

Darcy’s worry did not diminish, however, but mounted each time she disobeyed. When she wandered further than he deemed a safe distance his stern and sometimes heated objections would greet her upon her return. Elizabeth always capitulated with remorse that appeared sincere, and of her promise to never again venture further than the gardens near the house. All was forgiven…until the next time she disobeyed him.

After an exceptionally trying morning with his steward, Mr. Withers trying to resolve a dispute between two of his tenants, Darcy’s mood was frayed. Darcy wished to discuss the matter with Elizabeth to see if she had any insight into an equitable settlement only to be informed of her not being about the house.

“Where has she got to, Wilkins?”

“I believe she took a stroll up the path from the back gardens, sir.”

“How long has she been gone?”

“I last saw her when she departed at half past nine, sir.”

Wilkins knew by the piqued face of the master that he was terribly out of sorts at the news that the mistress had been gone almost two hours with no one knowing of her whereabouts.

Darcy kept his voice even through his growing unease. “Thanks you, Wilkins. That will be all.”

“Sir, very good, sir.”

The butler went about his business but not without some trepidation of what was to come when the Mistress returned from her stroll.

I fear another verbal altercation is about to occur.

Wilkins went so far as to ask several of the servants to find out which direction the mistress had gone this day, knowing that the master was retrieving his top coat in order to comb Pemberley.

With little more information Wilkins pointed the master in the general vicinity of the mistress starting point, and then watched as he mounted his horse to ride off. After searching an entire hour without success, he returned his horse to the stables to retrieve a fresh one, but not knowing which direction to take he decided to return to the house to ask if Elizabeth had returned of her own accord. His worry was now rising to the point of panic. Elizabeth finally made her appearance known when she entered the parlor where Darcy turned from the mantle fuming.

Even Mrs. Reynolds held her breath as she tried to retreat from the room to carry on with her duties. As their discussion began, however, she stopped in mid stride, her mouth agape. The master’s tone was sterner than she had ever heard him. Likewise the timbre of the mistress’ voice was strained in anger.

“Madam, what have you to say to me?”

“What is there to say? I went for a walk. You chose not to go with me.”

This day he had worried himself into a frenzy of her lying injured somewhere in the great park, and suddenly he could no longer abide her defiance of his wishes. Before he knew what he spoke the words tumbled from his mouth. “I now forbid you to go out onto the grounds without escort, Elizabeth. Someone must always accompany you, someone who will keep you aware of the duration of your walks.”

Elizabeth could not but rise to such intimidation, her own anger peaked now. “You forbid it?”

“Yes, in fact I now forbid you to go out at all until Dr. Smith has given you permission.”

“But…you informed me of his being called away to London soon, and will be there for an entire month!”

“Yes, that is so,” Darcy acknowledged with the air of certainty that he would now prevail.

She could no longer allow his censure with merely a reply of her feelings on the matter to again promise to curtail her activity. “I can not abide being captured in this manner without being able to feel the fresh air upon my face, or stroll the paths close to the house.”

He was not listening to her expressing her now honest opinion on the matter, knowing she would only make another pledge he knew now she would not obey. “I will open a window if you desire fresh air, and you may stroll all the hallways about the house if you have the need to walk, but not alone, never alone.”

She was so angry at these unreasonable demands put on her by so controlling a man that she whispered to him in her spite, “I will do as I please, and you will not stop me!”

With her own ultimatum she spun around to depart the room and from his presence. Darcy followed close behind to further the argument.

He did not know what she intended when she stopped abruptly and merely stood before the closed door, her hand frozen in mid-air. At her side now he noticed the frightened look upon her face as she turned and gazed at him and raised her arms. Scooping her up, he felt her trembling, and her face contorted as she felt her pains had returned.

He laid her on the couch shouting for Mrs. Reynolds whom he knew was about.

“Yes, sir?”

“Have you prepared the doctor’s herbal tea for Elizabeth today?”

“Yes, sir, it is right here on the tea tray.”

“Bring it to me at once! And have the doctor sent for. He should yet be at the Lambton Inn.”

“Yes, sir. At once, sir.”

“Here, Lizzy. Drink this, all of it.”

Dutifully Elizabeth drained the entire cup almost in a single breath, and waited with Darcy to see if her pains would subside. He made her lie down again and sat beside her holding her hand. She saw such worry on his face that tears flooded her eyes at what she had put him through, vowing that she would never do so to him again.

“I am sorry, Fitzwilliam. I truly did not see the harm-” she began, but he would not hear it. He kissed her hand.

“No, no. I am to blame for my irrational fear and unreasonable demands on you that left you with no choice but to rebel. Your desire to see this place which is now your home is natural and it is my own worries for you that did not avail my mind to see alternatives to allow you to have that enjoyment.” He kissed her hand again, and then leaned in to kiss her cheek, as his thumb was gently caressing her forehead; gazing into her eyes, he saw such remorse in them now.

It had taken another ten minutes before she noticed that the pains had indeed begun to subside, and she sighed with relief. She opened her arms to have him hold her and both tried to keep their tears at bay.

Why had this defect in my family line not been overshadowed by the Bennet’s robust character traits?

Suddenly Darcy understood his father’s moodiness during his mother’s illness. When she died, how his father must have also died with his beloved. He must have only held on to life until he deemed his son ready to take the reins of Pemberley from him. Robert George Darcy was but a shell when he finally answered death’s call. Darcy tried not to think of how he would survive if Elizabeth did not.

After this spell that had so worried her husband and her physician, Elizabeth finally realized the risk she was taking, completely surrendering her favorite activity, obliging both in her adherence of all their wishes. It was not long after giving up her exercise that she lost much of her stamina and tired more easily. Darcy could not see how to keep her robust with exercise while remaining abed. His worries for her never left his mind as he watched Elizabeth turn more fragile each day like his own mother during and after Georgiana’s birth.

Elizabeth dutifully contented herself with embroidery Jane had sent her to complete, and with Darcy’s extensive library, much grander than even her father’s that gave her great solace. Mary sent her letters discussing essays that Darcy had suggested. Georgiana, who the Colonel had returned to them before he was sent off on an assignment, showed her music she wished Elizabeth to learn. With letters to Longbourn Elizabeth sketched little illustrations in the corners of some of the flora about which Kitty adored to encourage Elizabeth’s efforts. Darcy hired a master to teach her the basics and Elizabeth found she had a talent for painting, preferring watercolors to oils. The arboretum and solarium gave her many subjects to pass the hours.

Some days she would sit beside Darcy on a couch both reading, with his arm about her waist, and she leaning into his chest. Darcy, having been so reserved and aloof all his life was astonished that he found such contentment at having her so near his person, reveling in her lavender scent that was always about her. He kissed her head and his hand caressed her forehead. When he felt her sigh and snuggle closer against him, he closed his eyes.

How I love you, Elizabeth. How would I ever live without you?

Knowing her wish to view Pemberley, he thought of ways to give her this amusement. While the winter had remained unseasonable mild with the air crisp but not yet too cold, he had the enclosed barouche readied that would take them for a ride each day around the differing paths of the perimeter of the house. Elizabeth would begin very excited, pointing to various trees and shrubs that drew her interest with Darcy telling the history of several of the sections, some of them centuries old.

One morning as the coach rounded a curve in the path he remarked, “See the section along the lower stone wall? My great-great-grandmother, Daralis Aldora Howard Darcy had them cut into the wilderness because of her love of the color blue. She planted the Bluebells and then later Hydrangea along with several varieties of Delphiniums to have their color dominate the bed no matter the time of year.”

“Was her husband equally partial to the color?”

Darcy smiled. “Not that I am aware, however, Derwin Fitz-Gilbert Darcy was partial to her and so he had the matching bed cut to accommodate other flowers in that same shade beyond the next bend.”

“Do all the gardens and flowerbeds have so romantic a story behind them?”

Darcy thought a moment before replying. “Most of them do, yes, except for the ones closer to the house.”

“What is different about those?”

“They keep changing over the years as each new mistress places her mark upon the land to have her become a part of Pemberley.”

“Am I expected to do likewise? I have no objection to any of the abundant gardens I saw while here last summer. I would not wish to change anything that I experienced that day.”

They were both suddenly aware of the dual meaning of her words. His gaze upon her was so intense she tried to look away, but his hand drew her face back. Leaning down he kissed her cheek. "Nor would I,"he whispered as his gaze fell on her lips. Lifting her chin he kissed her softly but with a longing for more. “The only flower in this garden I cannot pluck is the one beside me, my Elizabeth Rose.”

Caressing his brow against hers, he sighed, trying to hold on to his control. He smiled. “This is your home now, Elizabeth, as surely as if you had been born here. You may do whatever you wish to the gardens to mark them as your own. It is a tradition.”

“If you wish then I would need your aid to know what is best to plant.”

“Anything, my love.”

“Very well then. I will think on the task.”

She settled against his chest as his arms tightened about her to enjoy the remainder of the ride this day, the gentle rocking of the carriage lulled Elizabeth into complacency to gradually succumbing to slumber beside him. Darcy smiled as he gazed lovingly on her serenity at being in his arms. He had felt the same serenity from that fateful day when he had come upon her in the gardens and embraced her, as if he knew she was at home within his arms. He kissed her forehead softly.

Oh, my love, never leave my side.

Settling next to one another in her bed one night, they had just completed some of Elizabeth’s changes in the flower beds close to the house that in spring Darcy would have implemented to add her touch upon the land. He smiled as he gazed upon her face bright with finishing a task they both had enjoyed sharing. He kissed her so deeply that he left them both breathless. He sighed touching his forehead to hers to calm. “Lizzy, I think your were destined to be here at Pemberley. I sensed it somehow during our early meetings to have me so drawn to you.”

She gazed at her husband and knew the truth of his words, for she had felt Pemberley’s pull on her that day she had entered its grounds. Nodding, she confessed, “I am only worried that I am not capable of the challenge of being its mistress. I have never had such responsibilities. Little at Longbourn has prepared me for so large an undertaking. I do not wish to disappoint all those who now see me as above them.”

“You are doing fine, Elizabeth. No one has alleged any deficiency on your part, rather the opposite in fact. Everyone approves of you, and believes in you even if you do not yet have the confidence to believe in yourself.”

“Mrs. Reynolds is very patient with me each morning as she instructs me of the many and varied tasks of which I am to be responsible. I think how little I knew of what was in store for me by being your wife . It is quite a daunting undertaking, Fitzwilliam.”

“One in which you will excel as you continue. Mrs. Reynolds has told me of your natural abilities of organization and efficiency. She has every faith that you will persevere and exceed even her expectations, as do I.”

“I only hope your faith in me is not misplaced.”

“It is not, I assure you.” His thumb caressed her forehead and he lay beside her. “With each day I can see subtle changes in you, at how your mind works through the task at hand, striving to invent ways to improve our lot.”

“You do?”

“Yes, you are now a part of us, and I think in some ethereal form always were. I believe Pemberley was waiting for you to arrive to set things right, that you were always meant to be here… with me.

His kisses were gentle as she willing fell under his spell, allowing him to give her what pleasure he could that she was satisfied. Resting in his arms she was not long in falling into a deep slumber in his secure embrace. He continued to gaze upon her, aroused but with such worry for her safety now that his own passion soon abated. He began to understand the depths of his father’s feelings as a husband to an ailing wife.

Father, how you must have suffered all those years.

Darcy fervently prayed that he would not be likewise made to suffer. He tightened his hold of Elizabeth, her sweet scent giving him peace for the time being, enabling him to drift off into sleep with her warmth beside him.

When Darcy ventured into his study where he had always encouraged her to come, he found Elizabeth sitting on the couch by the fire, her head resting in her hand propped on the couch arm apparently reading. As he neared her about to ask what had so engrossed her, Darcy realized she was in fact asleep, had dropped off amid a scattering of books of varying subjects strewn about her. First gazing for a long moment at her contented form, he then noted which books had caught her attention. He picked them up one by one, world history, geography, animal husbandry, agriculture, essays, poetry, Shakespeare, Bacon, Carew, Burn, Dunne, and Cowper. His brows rose at her varied interests, remembering her father’s words to him of Elizabeth’s eagerness to learn even as a young child.

He gently lifted her arm to retrieve the book from her lap that had obviously bored her enough for sleep, and almost laughed when he read the title, Fordyce’s sermons.

“Yes, that would certainly do for insomnia.”

Kneeling down beside her, he viewed her contented face, never tiring of watching her in sleep. “I love you, Lizzy.”

He leaned in, gingerly taking hold of her about the arms. Supporting her head, Darcy laid her upon the couch, gently lifting her legs with her sighing but not awakening. Kissing her cheek, he saw her smile in her sleep as he slowly drew a cashmere rug about her for warmth. Seeing that she was comfortable he decided to allow her to continue here with him rather than carry her above stairs. He retreated to his desk to answer several of the business correspondences he had neglected of late. Every few minutes he glanced up to see that she was still in repose and smiled before returning to his work.

One morning after being called away for but a quarter hour to talk to Mr. Withers, Darcy returned to the breakfast table to find Elizabeth eating a kidney broth mounded with marmalade. Silently sitting beside her, he watched her consume the sweet concoction, noting that the entire jar of marmalade was empty. His eyebrows rose in wonder. When finished Elizabeth lightly dabbed her mouth with her napkin while Darcy continued to watch, dubious that she would be able to keep down so sugary a meal.

Over the course of the day when she seemed to tolerate her breakfast, Darcy smiled as he stole a kiss in the parlor. Darcy made his way into the kitchen to personally address the cook, Jean Claude, something he had very seldom done. The scullery maids stood in shocked silence as well.

“The mistress has taken a delight of the marmalade you served at breakfast.”

“Oui, Monsieur, je me surveille le faire de lui dure la chute. I-”

Darcy nodded and continued. “You will have marmalade at every meal, regardless of the menu.”

“Monsieur?”

“You will also have marmalade available to the mistress whenever she desires it.”

“Monsieur?”

Darcy stood silently before the astonished cook, waiting for an affirmative reply he had come to expect as a master.

Jean Claude finally found his voice for the unusual request by Mr. Darcy. “Oui, Monsieur D’arcy. “Mais bien sur, j’assurerai que la marmamade est sur la table avec chaque repas, et quand Madame le souhaite…Monsieur.”

“Very good, Jean Claude. Carry on then.”

Darcy swept out of the kitchen without taking note of the shocked expressions of those he left in his wake. Jean Claude sighed and asked one of the scullery maids, “rapportez plus pots…retrieve more jars of le marmalade du garde-manger…from the larder, si vous plas, et comptez…count le number that remain.”

“At once,” peeped little Phoebe as she disappeared out the door to the pantry.

Jean Claude then told the rest of the kitchen staff, “nous pouvons avoir besoin de faire plus…we may need to make more.”

Chapter 16 b

Posted on Monday, 31 January 2005

Bingley, Darcy’s groomsman, had set the date of his marriage to Jane for two months subsequent to that of Darcy and Elizabeth’s. The time that for Bingley had seemed incredibly lengthy but for Darcy and Elizabeth extremely short as they struggled through her first stages of her confinement. The Darcys had been at Pemberley for nearly that entire time when Elizabeth began to ask when they plan to depart to Longbourn for Jane’s nuptials. Darcy had agreed to stand up with Bingley with Elizabeth doing the same for Jane, but now Darcy was reluctant to permit Elizabeth to travel to attend Jane’s wedding even though the weather had remained mild and the roads passable still.

Darcy even contemplating the possibility of moving the site of the wedding from Longbourn to Pemberley; the cost meant nothing to him when weighed against the ease to Elizabeth. He finally gave up on the scheme when he realized how stressful it would become for Elizabeth to play hostess to all those people about the house.

Knowing how much Elizabeth desired to be witness to her sister’s happy day, Darcy conferred with her doctor with both finally relenting on the condition that the stay be for but a day or two and that she not over extend herself. The journey required two days travel with an overnight stop at one of the many carriage inns along the way. Finally they arrived at Longbourn.

Jane was elated at the news that Elizabeth was to attend her in one of the letters her sister sent. “Oh, Lizzy is to come.” However, when Jane viewed her sister emerging from the carriage after the two days travel, she became frightened for Elizabeth, for although she had regained some of her coloring she was even thinner. Knowing Elizabeth would have been as far along as nearly 3 months there was but a small thickening about her waist.

Elizabeth hugged her sister assuring Jane that she was actually feeling much better, whispering, “and I am no longer being plagued by nausea.” Continuing in a normal voice Elizabeth stated, “I am merely a bit tired from traveling so long in the coach.”

Jane saw Darcy’s stern expression soften into a small smile to attest to the validity of his wife’s statement. After many hugs from the entire family at the door they were ushered into the warmth of the house where Elizabeth was taken above stairs. Being given the rooms they had occupied before their wedding, Elizabeth sat upon her old bed despondently when there came a soft knock.

“Come.”

Darcy entered and gazed around at the relatively empty room, a small trunk still unopened on the floor.

“Mama has asked Betty to aid Jane today and tomorrow else she would have already had my trunk unpacked.”

Her husband frowned that his wife was not being taken care of but she assured him, “I am in no rush to unpack, Fitzwilliam.”

Darcy nodded. “You should rest for now.”

She looked at the bed once more realizing it was hardly large enough for two grown women when she and Jane shared it talking late into the nights. There was no way it would do for Darcy and her to share. They both realized that each would sleep alone tonight; something neither had done since their wedding. He pulled up a chair to the side of the bed and took her hands in his.

“Will you be all right? I know I promised never to abandon you in the night. I could ask Charles to make up a room for us at Netherfield but-”

“No, he is getting his house ready for his bride. I would not wish to impose. This will do for now.”

He aided her lift her legs upon the bed, pulling the soft blanket over her. Sitting in the chair beside her, he held her hand and watched her fall asleep.

After resting for some time Elizabeth rallied at being with her dear family once more, she was swept up in the excitement of the wedding plans to show her exuberant nature that women exhibit when talking of gowns and lace and bonnets which gentlemen have no interest. Mr. Bennet took pity on his son-in-law and invited him into the quiet solitude of his study where more serious conversations were had.

“So, how are you both holding up during this interim?” Mr. Bennet offered Darcy a glass of port which was kindly accepted as both men retreated to chairs by the fire.

“As well as can be expected, I suppose, sir. It has been difficult.”

“Yes, I would have assumed so with Lizzy’s nature of always being active only to suddenly be required to remain still.” Taking a sip of wine her father quipped, “Have you yet been forced to tie her down?”

Darcy shook his head and chuckled at her father’s humor. “No, fortunately, I have not had to resort to such extremes though we have had several heated discussions on the subject with my once forbidding her to go out alone.”

“Forbidding her.” Mr. Bennet stared at the young man with a surprised expression. “Pray tell, how did that work for you?” Mr. Bennet knew full well from past experience what the answer would be.

Darcy confessed, “not well at all. My demand only made the situation worse. She can be so stubborn at times.”

Mr. Bennet smiled sipping his port. “A common trait you both share, I fear, that could have dire consequences it one of you does not relent.” With Darcy’s sudden frown, her father inquired, “Is she well though? And she is still…?”

“Her pains returned for a brief time, sir, but, yes, she still increases. The scare brought us both to a new understanding of what our behaviors had wrought, making us reevaluate our priorities. She sacrificed her walks while I allowed her to view the park in the safety of a carriage. The compromise seemed equitable at the time.”

Seeing how amiable this young man seemed with regard his daughter, Mr. Bennet smiled. “You seemed to have handled the situation admirably, son. Many a rich man would have little patience with an obstinate wife while you feel finesse is the order of the day. No doubt that is why you negotiate successfully in business ventures as well.”

Darcy sighed, “That is a poor analogy, sir, for in business ventures there is no emotional attachment. With Elizabeth I cannot keep those feelings at bay when I wonder if my decisions are the correct ones. I wish I knew what I was doing.”

Mr. Bennet chuckled. “As do we all, son. Marriage is like a book, with each reading more is discerned, but it takes years for the beginning of true understanding. We all make mistakes along the way, most of which can usually be rectified with kindness along with a firm hand if one feels the need is great.”

The two men had a longer discussion of Mr. Bennet’s experiences and observations he had of his wife’s five confinements to give Darcy some inkling of what to expect over the months to come. Though not with complete understanding, it was enough to give the young man some confidence in his abilities to cope with his wife’s oft time unusual demands of him or their staff. Mr. Bennet seemed to have quelled most of Darcy’s fears. The ones he had no control over continued to burden his mind.

Rising, the elder gentleman ushered him out the door with, “you seem capable of negotiating the maze we called married life. Just remember to allow Lizzy some freedom when she seems able to handle it. You both will be happier for it.”

“Thank you, sir.”

“Off with you now. Find my Lizzy and see what mischief she has gotten into with all the preparations of this wedding. I shall remain here in safety and solitude of my library.”

Upon departing Darcy likened Mr. Bennet to that of a leader who designated authority of his orders to those under him, only stepping back into the fray when there was need, preferring to remain on the sidelines in silent observation of the action. Darcy knew that he, on the other hand, was more of one who actively gave orders while staying constantly close to the action in order to belay or alter orders instantly when actions called for them. He wondered which attitude was best in marriage, hoping he could discern it without too much time elapsing.

The dinner that evening gave Darcy evidence that Elizabeth had indeed reverted back to her old self for much of the day, being excited and involved in all the preparations of the coming nuptials, smiling at the discussion of the flowers and the dishes planned for at the wedding breakfast. Her pallor had improved over the last few weeks, and her appetite had returned much to his relief. He squeezed her hand under the table as she stared at him with an imperceptible nod of permission.

Waiting until there was a small lull in the conversation Darcy offered up, “We…have some news to relate.” Darcy had everyone’s attention. “There is a chance…that we are to become parents in early summer…if all goes well.” There was complete silence at the table with even Bingley at a loss for words. Both Darcy and Elizabeth waited for the barrage to come. Mrs. Bennet, of course was the first to speak.

“Oh, Lizzy, this is so soon after your nuptials,” her elated mother chirped continuing with the tasteless comment to Darcy. “Sir, you have wasted no time in attempting to secure an heir much as Mr. Bennet and I did only to have a girl.”

Darcy wisely made no reply to such a crass statement as the rest of the table erupted with congratulatory comments and hugs for their other sibling. Elizabeth’s sisters were now doubly excited with wedding conversation and now to being aunts. Jane smiled at Elizabeth from across the table and nodded that this might be the correct course of action at the time, and did not begrudge her in the least for making the announcement on the eve of her own wedding.

The men were quite left out of all further speech and Bingley and Mr. Bennet could only raise their glasses in salute to Darcy who merely nodded.

Mr. Bennet knew all did not appear well with his favorite, and had taken it upon himself to ask for Dr. Bell to call on them that evening after the dinner hour. His arrival seemed a cordial one of merely passing by to be surprised at the additional house guests.

“And how is my celebrated tree climber these days?”

“Very well, I assure you.”

Mrs. Bennet chimed in, “Please, Dr. Bell, you are most welcome. Would you care for some refreshments?”

“I thank you, Mrs. Bennet. Yes, coffee would be delightful, thank you.”

“Lizzy, you did not tell you him your news? Dr. Bell, since her marriage Lizzy has just informed us that she is now with child.”

“No, you do no say? Congratulations, Mrs. Darcy. That is wonderful news.”

Dr. Bell stared at the couple and sat down by the fire to sip from his cup as he continued his conversation. “I have just been into Meryton to care for the mercantile shop owner’s ailing mother. He told me her age to be…well, I know ladies do not wish anyone to know their age, but I must say she is quite spry for one who is as old as she…have you met the lady, Mrs. Bennet?”

The conversation was congenial and enjoyable, with Dr. Bell entertaining the party for nearly an hour with many antidotes of his experiences.

“Good, good. Well, Mrs. Darcy, while I am here would you care to oblige me with a cursory exam that I may ease my mind to all your accretions of good health?”

“Of course, Dr. Bell,” Elizabeth readily agreed to an examination with a wary glance at her father who merely nodded that it was he who had needed assurances. Darcy too had gathered that it was Mr. Bennet who had been the most upset at his daughter’s appearance when they first arrived and must have been he who had sent word for the doctor to pay a visit. Both Darcy and his father-in-law exchanged understanding glances as he and Elizabeth excused themselves to go with Dr. Bell.

Upon entering her father’s study, Dr. Bell had her sit beside him asking, “I think it was wise to inform your family now of your condition.”

“Yes, sir, although our announcement might be some weeks off the mark.”

“You appear well, however thin.”

“I have only lately had stomach enough for anything more than mild foods.”

Dr. Bell nodded as if this was common. “Which is why you have not gained?” She nodded while laid his hands gently on her abdomen silently feeling the thickening. “Do you still ingest the herbs I proscribed for you? You have no trouble keeping them down?”

“Yes, we have been very diligent in all your and now Dr. Smith’s recommendations.”

Dr. Bell nodded again obviously having heard of the good doctor from London. “You should be able to take in more sustenance now that the first few months have passed, but I still worry over your early pains that could be a sign of some ill event. You have not had any other such symptoms since I saw you last?”

When neither spoke up readily Dr. Bell glanced up at Darcy for an answer who nodded his head. “There was one incident…after we argued…about-”

Elizabeth interrupted, “I had taken a rather lengthy walk. I saw no harm in it since I had never had a repetition of my pains, but the herbs stopped them soon after I had ingested them-”

“Mrs. Darcy,” Dr. Bell said in his kind voice taking her hand to calm her, and then gently admonished her. “You must be sure not to tax yourself much or there might be dire consequences.”

Elizabeth sighed, having heard this same advice from her husband, her father, Jane, Dr. Smith, and now again from Dr. Bell. She nodded, “I know that now, Dr. Bell. The last incident made me aware more than any other of my responsibilities to ensure the safety of myself and my child.”

Darcy spoke up in her behalf. “Dr. Bell, she has adhered to every one of our requests since the incident in question. I assure you she is following all your recommendations to rest.”

Dr. Bell nodded at this testament, and patted Elizabeth’s hand. “All right then, Mrs. Darcy, you are to continue to follow all of Dr. Smith’s edicts, being mindful of staying abed as much as possible.” Seeing that Elizabeth wished to say more, he asked, “Yes, what is it?”

“Jane’s wedding is tomorrow. If I felt well enough…might I be permitted…could I dance for a set or two?”

“Elizabeth,” began Darcy, not wishing to tax her with requiring her to dance.

“No, no,” Dr. Bell spoke taking her request under advisement. “I will allow it if your husband keeps a close eye on you that you not wear yourself out.”

“I promise, Dr. Bell, only two sets.” Elizabeth’s face was radiant while Darcy brooded over the decision.

“Very good, now, Mrs. Darcy, you may return to your family. I have something I would say to your husband before I give him leave.”

“Thank you, Dr. Bell,” Elizabeth chimed as Darcy helped her rise, squeezing her hand before releasing it. She shut the door as she left and Darcy turned back to the doctor who had watched the whole exchange.

“She is a most remarkable young woman, Mr. Darcy.”

“Yes, yes she is.”

“I have cared for this family since bringing the first into the world. I had not thought she would have such difficulties in confinement, sir. Have you neglected to tell me some family trait that would cause such trouble? I am told that your parents are both deceased?”

With a deep sigh, Darcy nodded. “My father died five years ago, my mother…had always been frail, and died some years before.”

“Not in childbirth?”

“No, but after my sister was born, my mother never seemed to recover.”

Both men were silent for a time while the doctor contemplated whether Mr. Darcy’s family history could be the cause of his wife’s current malady, before he voiced his warning. “Regardless, I would not wish for anything untoward to happen to Mrs. Darcy or her child due a careless act by another.”

Darcy frowned, his eyes narrowing at the man’s accusatory tone directed solely at him. “Make your point, doctor.”

“I know as a husband-”

“Sir.” Darcy’s voice though quiet carried an intensity and weight of a master of a great estate to quit the doctor from proceeding further with his sentence. “I am well aware of my responsibilities to my wife and child, and would never put them at risk.”

The clench of Darcy’s jaw and the stern continence on his face before he turned back to stare out the window, Dr. Bell could only admire the young man before him, so young but obviously so in love.

To witness such a love match so rare in this day and age as seemed to be the case of this particular couple, is a testament to the fortitude and integrity of one so young.

Darcy did not turn from the window but merely sighed, “Are we clear on the matter now, sir?”

“Quite,” Dr. Bell replied, pausing before he added, “If I could give you any assurance, sir, I would.”

Darcy kept to the window and merely nodded.

“It seems that Mrs. Darcy is in your capable hands. I commend you, sir, and hope that all goes well.”

With features that softened now, Darcy turned from the window. “As do I, sir.”

The day at the wedding Elizabeth seemed well enough to stand up for Jane at the nuptials, as they both stood next to Jane and Bingley in the same chapel as was their marriage amid a spray of pink and purples blooms that Jane and her mother had managed at this time of year. Jane’s silk gown was of splendid softness to compliment her demeanor as she gazed several times at her ecstatic groom. Both couples smiled at the happiness displayed.

After returning to Netherfield everyone seemed to enjoy the meal at the wedding breakfast, even Elizabeth much to Darcy’s delight. It had taken her almost three months to begin to keep down more than pabulum. Darcy smiled as she ate some few bites of the game pheasant and puddings now without feeling nauseous.

Along with the retention of food came more energy that Elizabeth displayed with her more mischievous sense of humor that both Darcy and her father adored and which carried over into the night and the ball. Darcy, reminded of what her father had said, allowed Elizabeth her amusement while he kept a watchful eye.

Darcy was not looking forward to attending the ball at Netherfield, socializing being something he had never warmed to even though much of the Meryton populace had forgiven him for his refusing to attend his own nuptial ball.

However, a new kind of dance had begun to sweep the country from Europe with many attendees avid to show off their abilities. Darcy himself had witnessed the waltz while on travel to the continent, and he had with a casual observance imprinted on his mind the steps without his even being aware. When it was announced Darcy felt certain he was capable of repeating them. Elizabeth seemed to be enjoying herself, her mood joyful that Darcy suggested they try the waltz. With this encouragement her eyes sparkled with eagerness to dance with him. He offered her his hand only to have her suddenly wary of dancing steps she had never done before.

“I hope that I am more nimble than my cousin, Mr. Collins,” she offered.

Darcy smiled as they walked to the dance floor whispering, “ Just allow me to lead you, dearest Elizabeth."

Blushing at such so private an invitation heard only by her, Darcy guided Elizabeth to their positions, holding one of her hands in his, and placing his other on the small of her back. Had he not had gloves on, Elizabeth was sure this dance would be too intimate for a public assembly.

The music began and Darcy led them off, guiding Elizabeth along the floor in a circular movement and with the larger circle of dancers. His eyes never left hers as he whirled them around to the music. The couple had a grace and elegance about them when they danced, especially tonight. The sight was not lost on many of Meryton society who witnessed them. Sir Lucas was not the only one to remark on Mr. Darcy’s natural abilities.

“It seems that for a man who cares little for the activity; Mr. Darcy is quite an accomplished dancer.” Many around him acknowledged this with nods and “Quite so.”

“It must be that his partner is his inducement.”

Mr. Bennet, who was near enough to hear Sir Lucas’s comments, leaned in to reply. “That is his only inducement, Lucas; else he would be in a corner like Mary reading a book.”

Just then to both men’s astonishment they spied Mary being swished by in the arms of a neighbor’s son, Mr. Greeley, in obvious rapt enjoyment of the dance.

“Well,” Mr. Bennet could only quip, “it seems that perhaps my wife will have yet another wedding to plan and execute in due time if that expression on my middle daughter’s face is any indication.”

Sir Lucas smiled and sighed with equal understanding of children leaving home. “Capital. Capital”

The merriment lasted through the next set with Elizabeth dancing without any ill effect. While watching his wife for any signs of unease, Darcy inwardly rejoiced at Elizabeth’s enjoyment of this new form of dance where he could have his hands be constantly touching her.

I would dance with you the entire night through.

After many pleasant moments, however, Darcy did hear her sigh in just a way that he knew she might be flagging. Retreating to their seats now with Jane beside her, he offered to get her wrap that they may take the carriage back to Longbourn to retire.

Elizabeth clearly was reluctant to leave Jane and Bingley so early in the festivities, and made the request, “could I merely lie down for a few moments’ respite? I could then come back to continue when I revive.”

Bingley sitting nearby was more than happy to accommodate, almost waiting for them to ask. With a kiss on the cheek of his angel and the promise to return to her soon, their host rose to personally have Darcy and Elizabeth follow him above stairs into the hallway of the guest’s quarters.

“You may use these rooms for as long as you wish.”

Opening the door Elizabeth entered only to be confused at finding her trunk from Longbourn in the center and Betty laying out her night clothes. Bingley left her and continued down the hallway.

“Darcy, you will find your rooms adjacent to Elizabeth’s with your valet awaiting you as well.”

“Bingley, what is this about?”

“Our father-in-law informed me of your sleeping in a chair beside Elizabeth’s bed these past two nights. I thought you both would be amenable to more spacious accommodations. Elizabeth is unwell, I gather?”

“She is still increasing, but has struggled to remain in good health, and is in fact improving over these past few weeks.”

“Though you are still worried for her?”

Darcy shook his head at his friend’s ability to change the subject. “This is your wedding night, Bingley. You needn’t have made the effort to make such arrangements for us. Longbourn would have been adequate for the short amount of time we remain.”

Bingley smiled. “Darcy, over the years you have done so much for me. Your intervention led to the mean to my current happiness with Jane. Allow me to reciprocate in this small way to give you and Elizabeth some greater comfort for but a few days. Consider it…a belated wedding gift.”

“We do not wish to impose.”

“You are not, I assure you. Jane and I will soon be off to the continent for an extended tour. You are more than welcome to remain as long as necessary for Elizabeth to renew her strength for travel back to Pemberley.”

“This is too much, Bingley,” Darcy replied, but Bingley could see he was relenting at last.

“Accept this, Darcy with my blessing…now as one brother to another.”

Darcy stared at the man who had grown into his own with his love and marriage to Jane Bennet while still retaining all his Bingley charm. Finally Darcy nodded in agreement.

Slapping his arm Bingley said, “I must get back to my guests. Have a pleasant evening Darcy.”

“And you also.”

Bingley chuckled. “Oh, I plan to.” He departed down the hallway and back to the ball while Darcy watched him go.

Stifling a yawn, Darcy opened the door to his bed chamber to find James, his valet laying out his night clothes. Shrugging out of his jacket Darcy heard James asked, “Are you ready to retire, sir?”

“Yes, James, I believe I have had enough frivolity for one night.”

Darcy began unbuttoning his vest (dress coat) while James went about unknotting the neck wear that Darcy found suddenly strangling, impatient for James to remove it.

“Did the mistress enjoy the ball, sir?”

Realizing that James must have witnessed at least some part of the waltzing by himself and Elizabeth, Darcy glanced down at James who dutifully averted his eyes to knots in the neck tie. Bringing his own hands to bear to the task Darcy merely said, “She did, indeed, James,” and removed and handed the neck cloth to the valet. “That will be all.”

“Yes, sir, very good, sir.”

James took the jacket and vest with him to hang up in the dressing room.

“I will send for you in the morning, James.”

“Yes, sir, good night, sir.”

“Good night, James.”

Only after his valet departed did Darcy actually smile, his face blushing as he thought of how wonderful it felt to have Elizabeth in his arms, dancing with her, feeling the warmth of her back that even his glove and the fabric of her gown did not disguise. His ardor came alive that he had controlled for all these months. Wanting to find the object of his affections, Darcy headed for the adjoining door, knocking softly. Not getting a response, he slowly opened the door gazing warily from the threshold. Betty entered from the dressing room after putting away Elizabeth’s dancing shoes, and curtseyed when she saw Darcy at the doorway staring at Elizabeth lying on the bed still arrayed in her evening gown fast asleep.

Betty whispered, “she had a mind to return to the dance, sir.”

Darcy thought that dubious at best, but merely nodded. “Thank you, Betty. We will send word in the morning when we will have need of you.”

Surprised at this news Betty offered, “I could remain to aid the mistress into her night clothes, sir.”

“No,” Darcy stated simply and rather terse to have Betty quickly curtsey and turn to leave with a hurried, “Yes, sir, very good, sir. Good night.”

Darcy strode over to the side of the bed, gazing at his lovely wife, a smile playing about her lips. Slowly lowering himself, he lay beside her, gently pulling her to his chest, enclosing her within his arms to hear her sigh. She opened her eyes to stare at her surroundings, then turn her head to stare into his eyes. “Why are we here?”

“Bingley has generously allowed us the use of these guest rooms.”

“That is too much, we must have put him out.”

“No, he was determined to be of use and would brook no opposition.”

“We will stay but a short while, and then go back to the ball.”

“I think even you would have had quite enough dancing these past hours.”

She smiled at the thought of dancing the waltz with her husband. “Never have I had so much enjoyment in dancing as when you held me.”

“As did I, very much.”

His hand cradled her head as he kissed her warmly. “However much you think you have recovered recently, you must allow me as your husband to ask that you obey my request that you not overtax yourself to ensure against a relapse.”

Elizabeth could not help but tease. “You do not wish to dance more with me?”

Darcy responded to her playfulness with a smile. “There are few things I enjoy more than dancing with you.”

His fingers caressed Elizabeth’s jaw to her chin. Leaning in he gave her another slow warm kiss as he gently unclasped her dress bodice, and slowly folded it off her shoulders as his lips trailed soft kisses down her neck to the tip of her now exposed shoulder. Elizabeth pulled her arms through the sleeves to free them, lifting her hand to caress his cheek while Darcy found the knot to loosen the laces of her corset. Darcy’s kisses returned to her neck trailing gentle pecks on her skin, turning his head to kiss her palm caressing his cheek. His hands traveled to her stomach to deftly undo the corset’s clasps so he could remove the garment completely. Now his hands could caress her body that was still encased inside at least thirty yards of fabric with several layers of soft undergarments. Still he felt himself struggle to control his own reactions to her nearness, unable to resist kissing the back of her neck he knew would excite her.

“Fitzwilliam,” she whispered. Remembering Dr. Bell’s words, Darcy’s kisses return to gentle pecks with Elizabeth recognizing his control had returned once more. This gentleness by him calmed her as well to allow her enjoy his attentions as he trailed kisses down her shoulder and back to her neck.

“I could kiss you all night long, Elizabeth,” Darcy whispered kissing her neck beneath her earlobe to have her gasp. She moaned at such an invitation, but then thought of his wellbeing.

“No, just hold me, my love.”

Turning her head he captured her lips while his hands caressed her to have her feel cherished by his touch before he settled her in his warm embrace. Darcy closed his eyes and sighed, exhaustion from the previous nights of restless sleep pulling him closer to slumber within this feeling of such wonderful contentment. Elizabeth first heard his low steady breath upon her shoulder, the warmth of it calming her own ardor. Cradling her tightly against him and with a final kiss to her head, Darcy began to snore softly beside her ear. Both fell into a dreamless slumber while several floors below them the ball continued well into the early morning hours. Darcy and Elizabeth were oblivious to any other care but their own intimacy.

Upon waking the next morning Darcy and Elizabeth decided after breakfast to remove themselves to Longbourn to give the wedding couple as much privacy as possible before their departure on their honeymoon. They also wanted to avoid any unpleasant conversation with the other house guests consisting of Bingley’s nearest relations who had all but avoided them but for the most abbreviated of exchanges.

Instead, Elizabeth remained in the Longbourn parlor with her family telling them of the magnificence of the park at Pemberley while trying not to expound too much on the opulence of the house and furnishings of which her mother was want to hear. After as pleasant a time as they could have with Mrs. Bennet both Darcy and Elizabeth wish for some solitude of their own. Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner deflected her mother’s attentions away while Elizabeth rose to view the prospect from the window.

Without her daily routine of exercise Elizabeth had not regained her strength to wander about the grounds of her beloved Longbourn. Darcy watched as she gazed out the window longingly. Without needing further inducement Darcy obliged her by asking, “the weather is still mild if you would care to join me out of doors on our ritual stroll?”

Elizabeth smiled nodding. Once outside he then unashamedly picked her up to carry her to their bench in the garden.

The winter was upon it as shrubs and bulbs rested beneath the dark earth. The tree limbs, devoid of leaves, clattered against one another in the breeze. This winter had been a mild so far holding off its usual snow filled days, allowing the couple to sit and enjoyed the solitude of the resting garden, asleep now, awaiting the spring thaw to wake it up again.

This brief visit to his in-laws almost went awry, however, when Mrs. Bennet witnessed from a window Darcy carrying Elizabeth to a bench in the garden near the house to have her put in mind of his having done thus on the day of his proposal. Now that Mrs. Bennet’s mind was no longer occupied with wedding details she silently made note of Lizzy’s appearance now that they had been informed of her being with child. Her mother thought back on her own symptoms during her long ago confinements.

“I wonder.” Mrs. Bennet voiced her suspicions to her husband standing beside her, “of Lizzy being with child as early as then.”

Mr. Bennet pursed his lips pondering the wisdom of his wife knowing the truth now that she suspected it, but thinking no good would come of her knowing he merely reminded her, “Such an occurrence would have been impossible, my dear, since Edward was assured at the time of their visit that Mr. Darcy was not about the premises.”

His wife surprised Mr. Bennet with her quiet admission. “I would not object if it were so. See how sweetly he attends her.”

Both her parents viewed the couple as Darcy held Elizabeth and kissed her forehead. Mr. Bennet leaned over and kissed his wife’s forehead, and at first his wife smiled at him.

“Oh, Mr. Bennet, you old fool.”

“If that be so, my dear, then at least I am your old fool.” She smiled at this tender moment, but it was not to last.

With a mood swing as wild as when she was younger and in her productive years, Mrs. Bennet was off again in her shrill voice expounding on the opulence that Pemberley must be, and how rich their daughter was now as Mr. Bennet rolled his eyes.

Chapter 17a

Posted on Wednesday, 16 February 2005

As their life at Pemberley returned to its normal routine upon their return from Longbourn, Elizabeth’s confinement still worried everyone at the estate from the maids and grooms to the senior staff. Because she was not allowed her usual form of exercise there were few of the servants who remembered seeing her robust, and treated her much the same as they had their former frail mistress. One bright occurrence had been that Elizabeth had finally begun to gain weight as her confinement continued.

Darcy kept a watchful eye to ensure she obey all the doctor’s recommendations. He could not help comparing her now to his own frail cousin Anne, realizing the wisdom in his never seriously considering the idea of their union.

If this could happen to Elizabeth who began in such health, what would it have to done to Anne?

In past unsolicited discussions with his two older cousins from their experiences at Harcourt House* and other like establishments Darcy was aware that there were few ways to prevent an unwanted occurrence which was mostly accomplished by the man. The woman would be responsible for taking care of any troublesome inconvenience after the fact by the use of one of several draughts, all of which could be detrimental to the woman in question, so she would be insistent that a man aid her in keeping anything untoward from happening that should not.

However, if a man and woman wed for the purpose of having children as Darcy was sure Lady Catherine would expect her daughter to, how would Anne’s health and her child’s be threatened? Darcy shuddered at the thought of Anne ever marrying with the notion of her trying to attempt children.

Late one night after Elizabeth had retired but Darcy could not relax enough for sleep to take him, he made his way to the garret where many of his parents’ letters and journals were stored, papers that Darcy had avoided reading, wishing to respect their privacy even in death. Now, however, seeing the need for more insight into his marriage and how to cope with so troublesome a confinement, he finally decided it time to examine what had been lovingly kept under lock and key for all these years. Opening up the trunk, Darcy sat by candlelight pausing to view the papers that had accumulated over the years of his parents’ marriage as well as his father’s journal during and after his wife’s demise. There were clutches of letters written in his hand tied up in ribbons, no doubts love letters written to his wife. Darcy held them, but did not wish to invade so private an exchange. Putting them aside, he lifted out his father’s logs that dated back for almost thirty years. Sitting in an old rocker, Darcy began to read the first of these of when R. G. Darcy began his courtship of the Lady Anne Matlock, and of how her family thought him too common for her to seriously consider. Darcy shook his head.

Some things never change.

In later journals after they had won over the objections of her parents, Darcy noted a change in his father’s attitude. Though still inclined to try for more children after several failed attempts before they had a son, the elderly Darcy seemed resigned to the fact that they would not have the house full of youngsters for which they both seemed to wish. It seemed that it was his wife’s overwhelming desires that pushed them both to keep trying.

Why did you not stop her, father?

Darcy thought of his own marriage, and wondered if he could resist if Elizabeth were as adamant as Lady Anne seemed to be in his father’s journal.

Upon further reading of his father’s words of upwards of ten confinements begun only to end without success and the intervening time to recover, Darcy began to see how determined his mother had been. Her son’s emotions ran a gamut of anger at her for knowingly putting herself at such risk and anger at his father for not being strong enough to curtail his own desires to keep his wife from the course she had chosen for them. But as he continued to read his father’s words, he was enlightened as to the love of this couple to try to create the family that they had so desired more than their own lives. The words of guilt and remorse poured out of the pages that Darcy could relate to them with similar feelings of his trying to cope.

He was just as much at a loss to know what to do as I.

After reading several more diaries Darcy came across the passages where Georgiana was born, and how happy his father had been with his little daughter. ‘She is the image of her mother, so fair, so sweet with eyes that I could lose myself in completely. What a darling child.’ Darcy’s eyes misted.

That is an apt description of her.

Reading on, he knew that his father had tried to keep his wife from wishing for more children. She had never truly recovered from this birth, and R. G. Darcy became just as adamant as his wife by this time to be satisfied with what God had bestowed upon them with these two wonderful children. He wrote of how he withdrew from his wife for weeks at a time, but how they were both unhappy with the rift that had formed between them, and reconciled themselves finally to the prospect. It had been too late for her, Mr. Darcy wrote, for she had become too frail to renew her strength. Like her mother before her, Lady Anne had not the strength to withstand all the rigors she had put herself through, and could not sustain her health thereafter. R.G. then wrote of having to stand by watching his wife’s health sink lower with each passing year while having to endure the vicious admonishments of his wife’s family, especially her sister as to nearly drive a man to drink.

Aunt Catherine, why could you have not seen his anguish?

His father wrote that he had taken the woman’s abuse of him without defense for after a time he realized how much the two sisters had loved one another throughout their lives, and how at his wife’s demise, her sister had no one to confide in and was only lashing out at the one who she viewed caused her sister’s death. As Darcy read, it confirmed that Aunt Catherine had refused Lewis De Bourgh after her own daughter was born, both having nearly died, and lambasted her brother-in-law for putting upon her sister with more trials than she was capable of weathering, not knowing it was mother who had been the instigator. R.G. never made Catherine aware of that fact.

Aunt Catherine blames father to this day for mother’s demise.

R.G. then wrote of how he felt so at odds with all the doctors who were constantly at the house and whose diagnosis was feeble at best, and remedies ineffective at worst. R. G. wanted to take her to a warmer, drier climate, but the doctors said it would do not good. Asking if he should allow her to travel to Bath, the physicians thought even that would be too wearing on her fragile health, and in the end they retreated leaving him without a sliver of hope. R. G. was already a grieving husband with now two children to tend.

Father, how much you must have suffered all those years, and I could not aid you because of my own grief.

In the dwindling light Darcy read on of his father’s despair, of how in the end his wife regretfully accepted that she would not live to see her children grow into adulthood. Making her husband promise to see to that end, she expired in her sleep, leaving her dear husband notes of love and compassion, of her happiness to have shared what little she had of life with him, and how she never regretted her decision to marry and have his children.

Darcy closed the journal, not needing to read more, for he had live through the remainder of his father’s years after his mother’s death, had seen the man wither over time without the comfort of a beloved wife by his side, and understood why his father had never remarried to have someone take up the reins of mistress of Pemberley.

There was no one who could compare to her…until now.

At his thinking of his own wife, Darcy remembered several of his discussions with Dr. Smith who made him aware of the great possibility that even at this stage they may be unsuccessful in a happy outcome. Nothing was certain, Darcy knew. This brought to mind his conversation with his Aunt Catherine whom he had accidentally encountered on his last day in London while he had been out on a business errand before his planned leaving for Pemberley. His aunt was emerging from their shared attorney’s office when he entered the lobby.

“Nephew!”

“Aunt Catherine.” His voice was cool as he stood before her, waiting for the barrage of insults sure to be leveled at him again.

“I would speak with you, nephew.”

Not wanting to have another conversation with his rancorous Aunt, Darcy almost refused until he noted that she made no further demand, but merely stood before him awaiting his reply. Wrinkling his brow at her altered demeanor and not wishing to make a scene in front of those now gathered in the lobby, Darcy sighed and motioned her into one of the front conference rooms his attorney used, which for the moment was unoccupied. After closing the door upon them and aiding her into a chair he began the conversation.

“Aunt, what else could you possibly have to say to me that I would wish to hear after your despicable behavior at Longbourn?”

“I was merely stating the obvious differences in status between you and your…your…”

“Wife, Aunt. Elizabeth is my wife, and you need to acknowledge her as such, and give her the status for which she is now entitled.”

“But not my respect, Fitzwilliam.”

“If you have nothing more to add to your already malicious accusations-”

“She is not entitled to my respect, nor will I bestow it on one so undeserving who would assume to be above her own sphere without money or connections.”

“My family connections excepting for a few have been a bane in my side, Aunt, to embarrass and shame me more so than any of Elizabeth’s family members. As far as money, I do not require additional funds to secure my happiness. My only requirement was Elizabeth to make my life complete.”

Shaking her head in disgust Lady Catherine voiced, “And now it begins anew, the struggle to sire an heir,” Lady Catherine almost spit out her words, her tone as though the words themselves were vile but with such sadness that Darcy easily could construe the true meaning of her words.

“It is what most couples wish for, to have children to carry on when we are gone.”

“But at what cost? I saw her when you attended the opera. She is not well, is she, nephew?”

Darcy looked away from his aunt hoping that she not see the anguish that descended on his expression. “She was not frail like mother.”

“But you have made her so. You have begun the process of her downfall just as your father did my sister.”

“Do not speak so callously of their relationship, Aunt. They loved each other enough to willingly risk themselves for my existence and for Georgiana, just as you did for your daughter.”

Now it was his Aunt who refused to acknowledge Darcy’s stare, a telling sign that the relationship between she and her husband was not the same. “No,” she whispered, “you are mistaken if you assume that, I assure you.”

Lady Catherine’s face turned hard and cold as a wall of hatred at the memory of her dead husband appeared in her mind, her thoughts of him so vehement in her disgust of the man that Darcy could easily see how she now viewed her late spouse. Closing his hand over his aunt’s he silently encouraged her to speak her mind that she diffuse some of her anger.

“He wished for an heir…just as all men do. After the first failed attempt I warned him of our family history and begged him not to continue.” Lady Catherine’s face remained hard when a single tear ran down her withered cheek as she spoke the words that had harbored in her heart all these years. “He…imposed himself upon me for three more attempts, the last resulting in my confinement with Anne. Afterwards, after I finally recovered and Anne was no longer in danger, he again came to me…he said he still wished for a male heir to continue his line. By that time I was livid that his pride would not to even acknowledge Anne after all the dangers and perils we had endured to survive. How dare he!”

“That was when you refused him?”

“I threatened to stab him in his sleep if he ever touched me again! And I would have!...but it was not soon after that he died on his own, his heart gave out while at his club, smoking, and drinking with his cronies, no doubt lamenting his marriage to a wife who locked her bedroom doors to him.”

Darcy handed her his handkerchief which she dabbed her eyes upon, then rose to retrieve a glass of water for her. After a long silence she continued. “I have been with the solicitor renewing my will to have Rosings go to you.” Darcy’s face could not have shown more astonishment at this statement.

“What? Why are you not leaving Anne her inheritance?”

“The entailment is for Rosings to go to you after Anne’s death without issue.”

“But you do not know if that will be the case.”

“Of all my other nephews, you, Fitzwilliam are the only one I will trust to marry Anne.”

“Aunt, I am already married and-”

“Yes…but your wife, who is not well, might not survive.”

“Please do not even voice that, Aunt.”

“Should she not, you must promise to marry Anne.”

“Aunt.”

“You must also promise never to attempt offspring with my Anne. She will not survive it.”

“Aunt Catherine, I am at a loss as to why you would wish me to make such a promise. Anne surely would wish for children as much as any woman.”

Lady Catherine nodded, “Yes, but you would not wish it, and so would placate Anne to the eventuality of a life without. You would not wish to have relations with anyone other than your…Elizabeth, would you?”

Freely Darcy admitted such. “I would not.”

“If she expires, you must promise me to marry Anne, and never allow her to attempt children, and Rosings will be yours. Will you make me that promise?”

Darcy did not know how to respond to such an unorthodox request. If the worst happened and Elizabeth succumbed during this confinement, there would be no one else who would ever take her place. Aunt Catherine’s desperate worry over her only daughter whose frailty marked the defect in their family line curtailed any notion of offspring. Should Anne marry, her husband would surely wish for an heir regardless of her frailty. His aunt’s logic was impeccable in that Darcy would never wish for anyone to take Elizabeth’s place, and his wish to care for Anne compelled him to agree with her mother’s plan.

Finally the words left his mouth as he decided, “I will.”

This placated his aunt as she nodded saying merely she would have the papers drawn up and sent over to him to sign. He nodded, numb at what they had discussed and agreed upon, as well as of what his aunt had revealed about her turbulent marriage allowing him to understand why much of her personality had developed such a hardness and bitterness toward people in general and men in particular. He knew that he would have to discuss all of the particulars of these dealings with Anne when the time arose that she need to know, but for now all seemed to reside in a distance future that Darcy hoped would never occur.

When Lady Catherine made to rise, Darcy stood and helped her into her coat, then opening the door he followed her out to her carriage.

“Thank you, Fitzwilliam, you have eased my mind.”

“Good day, Aunt.”

He watched her enter her carriage noting how tired Lady Catherine seemed, older than he had ever seen her before leaving him to wonder how many years she would survive with such a heavy heart.

The hissing of the candle brought him back to the present, sitting in the garret with his parents’ papers. Sighing, Darcy returned his father’s journals to the trunk, and with the now low burning candle made his way back to the one person who he needed to see, needed to hold in his arms. Upon stealing into Elizabeth’s chambers with the dawn still several hours away, Darcy gently snuggled next to his wife, his arms winding around her soft form.

G-d, please do not take her from me.

Elizabeth awoke feeling his hands gently massaging the little child within her. Putting her hand over his, she smiled as the caress continued. “Fitzwilliam, he likes it when you touch him.”

Darcy smiled. “He?”

“Or she. Would you mind if our first child is a girl?”

Darcy continued to caress the swelling of Elizabeth’s belly. “No, I think a daughter would be wonderful.”

“We can have your heir be the second child.”

He smiled and kissed her head. “Are you not making a grand assumption that this child is definitely a girl, and anticipating that we will attempt to have others?”

Elizabeth stared into his eyes wondering if he was serious as he continued. “Perhaps after this child is delivered you will refuse to have me in your bed again for all the trouble I have brought you.”

A slow smile crept upon her face as she thought surely Darcy was trying to tease her whether or not he was serious. “True, this is a troublesome child, and if I had any notion of your mother having a similar experience at bringing you into the world perhaps I should turn you out of my bedchambers and not allow you even to touch me or-” Here she had to stop for Darcy had begun to tickle her while in his embrace that she could not extricate herself from. “Stop! Oh, please, Fitzwilliam, I beg you, stop!”

“Will you turn me out of your bed?”

Still giggling under his assault she admitted, “No, no, I would never turn you away. In fact I would probably run after you as best I am able should you wish nothing more to do with me after I become fat and-” Again she was reduced to giggles by his renewal of tickling her. “No, no, stop, please!”

“You would chase me down the hallway in your current state while I ran from you?”

“Yes, oh stop! Please, I beg you, stop!”

He did as she bid, his voice becoming serious. “You think you are becoming fat now that you are finally increasing normally?”

“I do not have the same shape as before. The child is-”

“Our baby is taking on his own shape of which you are a part.”

“Yes, and I am no longer the svelte creature you married.”

He laughed. “You were never svelte.”

“Fitzwilliam!”

“You were voluptuous with all the feminine attributes that I enjoyed viewing, instead of those creatures whose forms have none of the parts of the female anatomy by which to hold.”

“You do not wish me svelte and slim?”

“I fell in love with a shapely woman whose shape now holds my future.” He kissed her softly. “I did not think I could love you more, but with each day as you increase, and your body changing as our child grows within, I find I have that capacity as my heart swells with greater love for you.”

“Oh, Fitzwilliam,” she began to sob. He smiled now realizing her inability to keep from showing her emotions must be tied to her confinement somehow, and he kissed her face softly to calm her.

“Shhhh, my love, calm yourself. Try to return to sleep.”

“You will not leave me again?”

“No, I will now stay with you.”

Darcy kissed her brow and cheeks with soft pecks, caressing her face, knowing it would give her ease until she was relaxed and neared slumber once more. He continued his actions until Elizabeth had fallen back to a peaceful slumber. He watched her breathing softly against his chest.

Thinking back on his childhood and his mother’s continuous bouts of illness, Darcy now knew how many of them were related to failed attempts for more children by his parents, weakening her before they were finally successful at birthing Georgiana, only to leave his mother without strength to survive.

I wonder if that were the case, why would my parents continue to attempt more?

He wondered how Elizabeth would endure should their baby not survive as was the case for so many in his family. He kept his fears of this from her, harboring it heavily within his own heart, and hoped that should if it come to pass he would appear strong in order to support Elizabeth in her grief while trying to hide his own.

*Harcourt House was an upscale brothel where rich took their sons to be initiated.

Continued in Next Section