Posted on Thursday, 8 December 2005

Elizabeth looked out her private sitting room window at Pemberley. The snow that started only three days ago had continued without ceasing. Now, quite an accumulation lay on the ground, coupled with howling strong winds and ice covering anything untouched by snow. The forbidding landscape made the roads all but impossible for travel.

A small sigh escaped the lady as she looked over the lavish furnishings that surrounded her. Everything about Pemberley was elegant and grand, without the ostentation of Rosings Park. It struck her as droll that even her dress matched the décor of the house. The royal blue dress, made of a finer material than any she had previously owned, had been commissioned for her immediately after her wedding; along with several other dresses of the latest fashion that her husband insisted would be befit her new station in life.

Elizabeth leaned back against the windowpane again and contemplated what had happened over the past month that had brought her to the current situation.

Mr. Bingley had been hosting the most wonderful ball at Netherfield. While Elizabeth had been momentarily disappointed that Mr. Wickham was not in attendance, her disposition was such that would not allow her to be in such a state for long. After all, it would be foolish of me to develop too much of an attachment. He is a soldier and could never afford to court someone without dowry or land.

The evening had progressed splendidly, although Elizabeth had more than one moment of anguish caused by her mother's mercenary comments and the foolishness of her younger sisters. Of course, the Bingley sisters were as snide as civility would allow, but that was to be expected. In the end, it mattered not to Elizabeth. Her consolation was that Jane seemed to be the belle of the ball, rejoicing in the particular attentions of Mr. Bingley. Yes, everything was almost perfect, until Mr. Darcy had petitioned for her hand for the next set of dances. Being caught off guard, with no way to politely refuse him, Elizabeth could only accept. I may have to dance with him, but I do not have to be anything but civil.

As the dancing commenced, and her partner did not seem disposed to make conversation, Elizabeth decided to question Mr. Darcy's relationship with Mr. Wickham and make it known to him that she understood what he was about. She cited their chance meeting in Meryton a few days before. "When you met us there the other day, we had just been forming a new acquaintance."

The effect was immediate. A shadow overspread his features, and she could easily make out the anger that flashed violently in his eyes. Yet, he said not a word. Elizabeth, made uneasy by the observation of his countenance, decided she would not continue to question him, though scolded herself for such a weakness.

After a few moments, Mr. Darcy replied to her surprise. "Mr. Wickham is blessed with such happy manners as may ensure his making friends - whether he may be equally capable of retaining them is less certain."

Angry by his arrogance, Elizabeth replied with much venom, "He has been so unlucky as to lose your friendship, and in a manner which he is likely to suffer from all his life."

"You take an eager interest in that gentleman's concerns," Darcy's tone suggested anger not far below the regulation with which he spoke.

"Who that knows what his misfortunes have been can help feeling an interest in him?"

"His misfortunes!" Darcy's contempt could no longer be hidden. "Yes, his misfortunes have been great indeed."

"And of your infliction," cried Elizabeth with energy. "You have reduced him to his present state of poverty. You have withheld the advantages, which you must know to have been designed for him. You have deprived the best years of his life in that independence which was his due. You have done all this! And yet you can treat the mention of his misfortunes with contempt and ridicule."

The dance had ended, and Darcy, seething with anger, took a firm hold of Elizabeth's elbow, and guided her from the floor. Rather than releasing her as she expected, he continued his hold on her until he had safely led her out of the ballroom and into a small room that seemed more apt for storage than for a conversation. At the last moment, propriety reclaimed part of Darcy's mind and he left the door ajar, just enough for someone to see in, and it wouldn't seem they were in a darkened room alone together.

Elizabeth, quite put out by being so handled, was about to quit the room when Darcy spoke again. The intelligence he offered rooted her to the spot.

"Mr. Wickham is the son of a very respectable man, who had for many years the management of all the Pemberley estates; and whose good conduct in the discharge of this trust naturally inclined my father to be of service to him and on to George Wickham, who was his godson, his kindness was therefore liberally bestowed. As for myself, it is many, many years since I first began to think of him in a different manner. My father supported him at school and then later at Cambridge. My father was not only fond of this young man's society, whose manners were always engaging; he had also the highest opinion of him, and hoping the church would be his profession, intended to provide for him in it. My excellent father died almost five years ago; and his attachment to Mr. Wickham was to the last so steady that in his will he particularly recommended it to me to promote his advancement in the best manner that his profession might allow, and if he took orders, he desired that a valuable family living might be his as soon as it was vacant. Unfortunately, against my father's wishes, Mr. Wickham wrote to inform me that, having finally resolved against taking orders, he hoped I should not think it unreasonable for him to expect some more immediate pecuniary advantage, in lieu of the preferment by which he could not be benefited. He had some intention, he added, of studying the law. I rather wished, than believed him, to be sincere; but at any rate, was perfectly ready to accede to his proposal. He resigned all claim to assistance in the church, were it possible that he could ever be in a situation to receive it, and accepted in return three thousand pounds. Now, free from all restraint, his life was one of idleness and dissipation."

Mr. Darcy paused to see how Elizabeth fared with his information. She had lowered herself on a chair and looked at him in disbelief.

"There is more to my interaction with Mr. Wickham, but before I relate them to you, I wish you to know that they are of the utmost confidence, and I trust you not to relate them to anyone."

Elizabeth, aghast already from the information she was receiving, could only nod her head in confirmation.

With a sigh, Darcy turned from her and continued to pace the length of the room, "How exactly he lived, I know not. But, last summer he was again most painfully obtruded upon my notice. Having said this much, I feel no doubt of your secrecy. My sister, who is more than ten years my junior, was left to the guardianship of my mother's nephew, Colonel Fitzwilliam, and myself. Little more than a year ago, she was taken from school, and an establishment was formed for her in London. Last summer, she went with the lady who presided over it to Ramsgate; and thither also went Mr. Wickham, undoubtedly by design; for there proved to have been a prior acquaintance between him and Mrs. Younge, in whose character we were most unhappily deceived; and by her connivance and aid, he so far recommended himself to Georgiana, whose affectionate heart retained a strong impression of his kindness to her as a child, that she was persuaded to believe herself in love, and consented to an elopement. She was then but fifteen, which must be her excuse. I joined them expectedly a day or two before the intended elopement, and then Georgiana, unable to support the idea of grieving a brother acknowledged the whole to me."

It was too much, Elizabeth could hear no more. Such treachery! Darcy paused as Elizabeth jumped from her chair and took two steps backwards out of the emotion of the moment, and grabbed her hands, perhaps fearful that she would flee in the face of the truth of her former favourite. Elizabeth, hoping to offer some type of support in what must have been a painful memory to share, allowed him to retain hold of her hands as he finished his story.

Darcy continued as if pleading for her to understand, "You may imagine what I felt and how I acted. Mr. Wickham left the place immediately, and Mrs. Younge was of course removed from her charge. Mr. Wickham's chief object was unquestionably my sister's fortune of thirty thousand pounds, but I cannot help supposing that the hope of revenging himself on me was a strong inducement."

Elizabeth squared her shoulders to meet Mr. Darcy after he finished his narrative. "I must apologize, sir, for my behaviour. I should have known better than to take the word of a stranger for the truth."

"It is not your fault," Darcy quickly replied, "Mr. Wickham has open manners that could easily recommend himself to anyone."

"But I have prided myself on my discernment. Had I been in love, I could not have been more wretchedly blind. But vanity, not love, has been my folly." Elizabeth spoke more to herself than to her partner.

"You were not in love with Mr. Wickham then?"

"Good gracious, no! I confess I was pleased by the preference of Mr. Wickham. I'm sorry to give you pain, but I was offended by your comment from very nearly the first moment of our acquaintance, and for that, I have courted prepossession and ignorance, driving reason away where either of you were concerned." Elizabeth chastised herself, mindless of her audience. "Till this moment, I never knew myself."

Mr. Darcy, still weighed by earlier emotions of the evening, could not allow her to continue abusing herself. Looking back, he would never be able to lay blame on the impulse that made him do it, but suddenly, he gathered Elizabeth into his arms and bestowed upon her a most passionate kiss.

Elizabeth did not know how to respond. Though proper behaviour dictated that she should angrily push him away, a small voice in her head told her to hold him closer. Before she got the chance to decide which voice to heed, a loud gasp interrupted their interlude. Looking away from Mr. Darcy, Elizabeth espied her mother just outside the door with Mrs. Long.

With a horrified glance at the pair, Mrs. Bennet hurried away to find Mr. Bennet. She found him in the corner of the ballroom, watching the crowd enjoying themselves. "Oh! Mr. Bennet, you must come quick and make him marry her."

"Make whom marry who, my dear Mrs. Bennet?" Mr. Bennet looked curiously entertained by his wife's semantics.

"Mr. Darcy and Lizzy! Mrs. Long and I just saw them quite alone outside the ballroom, and...oh Mr. Bennet! They were kissing! "

Mr. Bennet did not wait to hear the rest of Mrs. Bennet's tale, for he quickly quit the ballroom and found Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth standing sheepishly in front of Mrs. Long.

"I have heard a rumour that I would very much like you to tell me is the greatest falsehood. Lizzy, please," begged Mr. Bennet.

"You can be assured of the veracity, Mr. Bennet. I, too, saw them locked in the most passionate embrace," nodded Mrs. Long.

"Thank you, Mrs. Long, that is all I need to know," sighed Mr. Bennet. Undoubtedly, this news has reached or will soon reach most of the residents of Meryton now with the help of my wife and Mrs. Long. Oh Lizzy! I had such high hopes for you... Now, to be stuck in a loveless marriage with no respect, I pity you and will pray for the best.

Elizabeth looked from her father to Mr. Darcy and lowered her head. She couldn't believe what she had been thinking. Now, she was upon the mercy of Mr. Darcy. Her reputation would be ruined if he refused to marry her.

Mr. Darcy, unsure of what possessed him to take advantage of Elizabeth, still knew his duty. He had compromised her, and now, to keep her from public scorn, he would have to marry her. "Mr. Bennet, I suppose now would be an excellent opportunity to ask for your permission to marry your daughter."

"Yes, I suppose it would be. I am sorry, Lizzy, but I have no doubt that your mother and Mrs. Long will not rest easily before all of Meryton is aware of this scandal. I am afraid my only course is to give him your hand in marriage."

Elizabeth, resigned to her fate, agreed.

Within two weeks, a special license was granted, wedding preparations made, and Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy were wed and on their way to Pemberley. Darcy had offered to Elizabeth that they could stay near Longbourn for the Christmas season, but anxious to be away from the whispers about the circumstances of her marriage, Elizabeth declined, saying she would prefer to spend Christmas at Pemberley.

Mr. Darcy, quite pleased with the idea of introducing his new wife to his favourite place in all of England, agreed to the plan. Their short time so far as newlyweds had been spent getting better acquainted with one another. Their evenings were filled with conversations sharing each other's preferences, likes, dislikes, and hopes for the future. Mr. Darcy instructed Elizabeth on the basics of being the Mistress of Pemberley. And, slowly, Elizabeth brought out in Mr. Darcy a liveliness that had been sorely missing.

Christmas was but just a few days away when an express had arrived. There had been several problems with a property owned by the Darcy family many miles north of Pemberley that called for Mr. Darcy's immediate attention. Not one to put off his duties, he quickly prepared for a short journey north.

Elizabeth knew how important being the Master of Pemberley was to Mr. Darcy, so she did not try to influence him to stay, despite her reservations about the incoming inclement weather and the fact that Christmas was fast approaching. She understood that with her elevation in station came responsibilities not to be ignored.

Facing her first Christmas without her family as well as the absence of her husband, so soon after their wedding, brought Elizabeth to her present state of melancholy, sitting on a window seat, leaning against the windowpane, looking for some sign that her husband was returning to her. She comprehended well now that Mr. Darcy was truly the best of men, and the most generous of husbands. But, even more, she now knew that she loved him with every fibre of her being. She just wished she could have told him that before he had to depart for the wilds of the north.

Her thoughts of Darcy made her reprimand herself for being so foolish as to sit idly like a forlorn lover, pining for her long lost partner, like one of the characters in Kitty's silly novels. What would he say if he saw you acting this way? Georgiana could use some company and the house has yet to even be decorated for Christmas. That's what I'll do! Georgiana and I can decorate the house; he will be so surprised when he comes home.

With that thought, Elizabeth rose and went to her private study. There she rang for a servant and asked for Miss Darcy to be brought to her. As she paced in front of her desk, she began making a mental list of all the things she would like to have accomplished before Mr. Darcy returned home again.

Slowly, the door crept open, allowing Miss Darcy to slip in. Miss Darcy was still somewhat intimidated by Elizabeth, even though the latter was always quick to put the young girl at ease.

"Oh, Georgiana! I was wondering, Christmas is fast approaching and we have yet to do any planning or decorating. Tell me, what does Mr. Darcy normally do for the holiday?"

"Well, it was so long ago, I really do not think I know how Pemberley celebrates Christmas."

"What do you mean? Surely the two of you have celebrated the season before?" Elizabeth could scarcely believe her ears.

"Well, yes and no. The last time we celebrated Christmas at Pemberley, as far as I have been told, was when my mother was alive, so I cannot recall a thing about it. After her death, my father would not allow Christmas celebrations here. I think it made him miss her so much. Fitzwilliam would always ensure that I had a nice Christmas. In fact, Fitzwilliam went so far as to disguise himself as Father Christmas for my benefit when I was young," Georgiana gave a good-natured conspiratorial look at Elizabeth, who chuckled at the image of her husband playing Father Christmas. "Of course, we would go to service and then there would be the tenants to which to attend, and Cook would always serve a nice dinner for just the family, but as far as I can remember, we have never decorated Pemberley or had any outward signs that it was Christmas. After my father's death, we would celebrate in town; we hardly came to Pemberley. I suppose it was because of all the memories held here, and Fitzwilliam already had so much to deal with."

"How would you celebrate while you were in London?" Elizabeth was interested in learning more about the habits of her beloved before she had come into his life.

"The same way we celebrated at Pemberley, I suppose. We would have a lovely meal, and exchange gifts, but that would be all."

"Thank you, Georgiana, you have given me much on which to think. I confess that my family has been given to celebrating the holiday more elaborately. I think I would like to do something a little more for Christmas here at Pemberley. However, I suppose I should wait for Mr. Darcy's opinion on the situation."

"Oh, Elizabeth, I am sure he would be happy with whatever you decide," Georgiana's eagerness made her speak more familiarly towards Elizabeth than she had before. "Perhaps we might ask Mrs. Reynolds about Christmases past here at Pemberley."

With a nod of acquiescence, both ladies rose and went to find Mrs. Reynolds, who was looking over her accounts in her private office. The housekeeper was startled to find the new Mistress and Miss Darcy requesting an audience with her, but was thrilled when she discovered the reason.

"Christmas here was never the same after Mrs. Darcy, the Master's mother, died. Old Mr. Darcy couldn't contain his grief, and all celebrations ceased. Master Darcy did his best with you, Miss Darcy, but it wasn't the same. I do believe that Christmas was Mrs. Darcy's favourite holiday. She spared nothing to commemorate the season; she would always have the entire house was decorated, and the celebrations continued for several days. No child within the estate could help but think of Mrs. Darcy as a true angel."

"Mrs. Reynolds," began Elizabeth, "I would like to begin Christmas celebrations again at Pemberley. Do you know of any reason why we should not?"

"No ma'am. I think it would be a lovely idea."

Elizabeth then became resolute in her decision that this year, she, her husband, her new sister, and the rest of the staff would have a very happy Christmas. "Do you believe we could find some of the old decorations that used to adorn the halls of Pemberley?"

Mrs. Reynolds volunteered that it would be easy to find some greenery with which to decorate on the grounds of Pemberley, and went to send several footmen to help bring down the older decorations that had been stored away these many years.

"Elizabeth, this will really feel like a holiday now! I'm sure Fitzwilliam will love it," Georgiana threw her arms around Elizabeth's neck to give her a hug.

Moved by the burst of uncharacteristic burst of emotion from Miss Darcy, Elizabeth began to create a list of all that would need to be done. Miss Darcy requested that she might be in charge of servants' and tenants' gifts, and together they decided on the Christmas meals.

Later in the afternoon, Elizabeth, Miss Darcy, and Mrs. Reynolds again met in the blue sitting room to sort and organize all of the decorations. Gardeners and footmen were commissioned to bring in boughs of holly, pine and firs.

Over the next two days, Elizabeth, with the help of Miss Darcy and Mrs. Reynolds, oversaw all Christmas preparations, from the garlands of fir and holly that graced the banister of each staircase, to the mistletoe hung in front of the fireplaces, to the roasted goose they would eat on Christmas Day.

On the day before Christmas, Elizabeth dressed in her new red velvet dress, and asked her ladies maid to place holly throughout her hair. Gracefully walking down the staircase, now all there was to do was hope that her husband would return to her before the morning.

That morning, Elizabeth reviewed her correspondence and tried to read a book. Tired of such monotony, she sought out her sister. She found Miss Darcy practicing carols on the pianoforte, and together, they amused themselves by playing duets and laughed the hours away. However, as the sun began to set, Elizabeth gazed out the window and began to worry.

"I am sure he will be here soon, Elizabeth. He would never disappoint us," Georgiana was trying to be encouraging to her sister, but the truth be told, she close to despairing as well.

"Who would never disappoint you?" A booming voice from the doorway caused both sisters to jump.

Elizabeth instantly turned, and gasped at the sight of her husband, wet from the snow, and visibly chilled from the weather. Still, outside from his less then perfect attire, he seemed in perfect health, and she was grateful to have him home. Before Elizabeth could react, Miss Darcy had thrown herself into her brother's arms.

"Fitzwilliam! We have missed you so!"

"Thank you, my dear, and I have missed you both as well," Mr. Darcy gazed over the top of Georgiana's head to look deep into Elizabeth's eyes.

When Miss Darcy finally released her brother, he made his way over to his wife. "You look especially lovely this evening, Mrs. Darcy." He brushed a light kiss on her hand, never breaking eye contact.

Without a second thought, Elizabeth threw her arms around his neck and lovingly embraced her husband. "Oh, Fitzwilliam, I am so glad you are come."

Mr. Darcy, overcome with not only this expression of emotion, but of her use of his Christian name, simply closed his eyes and savoured the moment. Miss Darcy, used to seeing her brother and his wife speak to each other with respect and kindness, but not with the obvious affection she was witnessing, slipped out of the room undetected and gave orders that neither the Master nor the Mistress were to be disturbed.

"I see you made some changes to Pemberley while I was away," Mr. Darcy commented good-naturedly.

"Oh! Do you not like them? I can have everything taken down this moment," Elizabeth clasped her hands in front of her worriedly.

"No, no ... Pemberley is your home too, and it has been too long since we have had any celebrations here. I think your first Christmas as a Darcy is the perfect beginning."

"I'm glad you are pleased. I admit I was a little worried that you would not like such attentions during the holidays, since your father did not want them," Elizabeth's words finished softly and she could not make eye contact with him.

"My father suffered greatly because of his misfortunes, but you and I are making a clean beginning. I would like nothing more than to celebrate the holiday with the two people who mean the most to me," Mr. Darcy gazed warmly into Elizabeth's eyes.

Elizabeth smiled, and took him by the hand and led him through the house, showing him all of the decorations. Mr. Darcy, for his part, related to Elizabeth details of his remembrances of Christmases past. Never once did either party relinquish the hold they had on the other. In fact, they stood closer together than was perhaps proper, and it was not entirely surprising that often parts of their bodies would brush against the other person.

As time for supper drew near, the Darcy family met in the dining room to feast on the sumptuous meal planned by Elizabeth. Rather than retiring to his study, Mr. Darcy requested and was granted the pleasure of listening to Elizabeth and Georgiana taking turns playing on the pianoforte. Georgiana could not remember a more joyous Christmas Eve, the room fairly glowed with affection and contentment from each party. Too soon, it was time to retire. Slowly, each made their way to their rooms. Excited by the prospect of the next day, Georgiana quickly feel asleep, but the two other members of the family were tortured of thoughts of the other.

Alone in her bedchamber, Elizabeth glanced at the door that divided her chambers from her husband's. How easy would it be for me to just walk though the door? Would he welcome my declaration of love? He seemed to be receptive earlier this evening. Maybe I should at least wish him a goodnight and Happy Christmas.

With her alibi firmly in mind, Elizabeth timidly knocked then opened the door to her husband's chamber. He stood watching the fire dance in the hearth. He did not notice her entering until she stood only a few feet away from him.

"Elizabeth? Are you unwell? Is there some problem?"

"Yes, no... I mean, yes, everything is perfect.... I just wanted to wish you a good night," Elizabeth stumbled over her words.

"Oh, well. Good night," Mr. Darcy was unsure how to act.

After pausing to catch their breath, Elizabeth looked deep into Mr. Darcy's eyes and realized that what she saw was her future there. His eyes were dark pools, full of trust, and she finally felt as if she had come home. "I know this may seem sudden, especially since we have yet to be married a month and acquainted for scarcely longer," Elizabeth hesitated to make her impromptu confession. However, the urging in his eyes led to her finish her thought. "I love you," she said, though it came out more as a whisper.

Mr. Darcy thought his heart had stopped the moment she whispered those three little words to him. He could only hold her and whisper into her ear, "I will cherish your love always. I don't know what I would do without it, because I love you so very much."

At his declaration, Elizabeth tightened her hold on him and tears of joy began to seep out of her eyes. "Darling, I have one last request of you." Mr. Darcy hardly dared to ask, not wanting to break the spell of the moment.

"Anything, my love."

"We have been formal with each other since the moment of our acquaintance. Even since taking our vows, we have scarcely gone past our formal names. I should very much like... that is... in my dreams, you have always called me William. Must we always be so formal? Dare I ask too much to have my wife call me as such?"

Shyly, Elizabeth raised her head from his shoulder to gaze into his eyes, "My darling William, hopefully, we shall now feel so comfortable with each other that we will never revert back to our former formal selves." Elizabeth concluded with an intense smile.

Glancing at the mantle above the fire, she noticed the time. Looking back at her husband, she whispered, "Happy Christmas, my love."

"Happy Christmas, my darling," said Mr. Darcy as he leaned down to kiss her again. "I do believe that this will be the best Christmas I have ever had. Many thanks to you, my love, for making that possible."

Elizabeth smiled, and then archly replied, "But, surely you don't mean that for all future Christmases.... What about when we have children? Those will be very happy times as well!"

"Of course, I look forward to those days. However, nothing will ever compare to the gift of your love that you have some kindly given me this evening. I promise you I will cherish the memory of it forever."

"And I will likewise cherish your heart with my entire being. You will never have cause to regret it."

"I know. I trust you implicitly."

They marvelled at their newfound love for most of the early morning until they heard Georgiana declare to the servants "A very happy Christmas!" and giddily made her way downstairs.

"I do believe that it may be time for us to greet the day," Elizabeth smilingly tousled her beloved's hair.

"Must we? Could we not just celebrate here, together?"

"As much as I would wish for that, I'm afraid that Georgiana and I have made several plans for us on this day. Come, let us arise and join Georgie for our Christmas breakfast."

With that, the couple went their separate ways to dress, coming together again to greet the servants and Miss Darcy. The snow had stopped falling, and the three of them donned their warmest clothes after Christmas services, and enjoyed part of the day outside. Elizabeth and Georgiana made snow angels, and the three of them had a lovely time skating upon the frozen pond.

As the years progressed, and children enlarged their family, Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy always enjoyed celebrating Christmas, with revelry that equalled the festivities of yore. However, Mr. Darcy was right in his assessment of the situation; they would always look back and state that their first Christmas together as man and wife was simply the best Christmas they ever had.

The End