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Part I

Posted on Tuesday, 15 November 2005

Darcy handed Elizabeth a letter and said, “I have been walking in the grove some time in the hope of meeting you. Will you do me the honor of reading that letter?” She instinctively took the letter he held out, but did not speak to reply. He bowed slightly and would have walked away from her were it not for the sudden sound of voices coming near. Instead he stayed still, looking at Elizabeth.

Their eyes met and each of them was apprehensive of the awkward appearance they presented. Elizabeth looked at the letter in her hand with panicked dismay. Neither wished to meet anyone else and offer explanation in that moment. So, without further consideration, Elizabeth stepped closer to the large tree in hope of avoiding detection. Darcy did not move away as he’d intended. While he was not given to hiding, he was concerned that Elizabeth might judge that he wished to expose her to awkwardness. She looked up at him with anxiety plain in her features and he thought he also saw blame in her gaze, blame for exposing her to potential censure. Her expression stilled all restlessness in him. His expression grave, he nodded silent agreement that they would attempt to remain undetected until the others passed.

Elizabeth looked at Mr. Darcy’s face and saw his reluctant agreement. There was murmuring about spreading out a blanket and the sounds of fluttering cloth. Darcy looked surprised as they both heard Anne de Bourgh say, “I thought we would never find the chance to be alone again. It has seemed ages! Every time I tried to leave the house my wretched cousin was either coming or going. I vow he has hardly stayed still at all throughout his entire visit. I am sick of him! Either he has been mooning around the parsonage, staring at Miss Bennet like a lovestruck pup, or he has been stalking the halls of Rosings, trying to convince himself he doesn’t care for her.” Darcy dropped his eyes in embarrassment. Elizabeth did much the same. Then they both looked up again at each other in uncomfortable surprise as they heard the sound of kissing and some fairly distinct moans of pleasure.

Darcy knew that as Anne’s male relative he ought to stop the proceedings and briefly considered revealing himself, but could not. Hiding had made things worse and he could not think of a way to explain his and Elizabeth’s proximity or the fact that they were alone there in the grove. He remembered once telling Elizabeth how he abhorred disguise of any sort. Their current experience deepened his convictions. He cautiously leaned a bit to the side to peer around the tree and gauge how likely it was that they would be discovered. He saw Elizabeth’s hand fly to her mouth in an obvious gesture of anxiety. Anne and her lover were some distance away, and so long as he and Elizabeth stayed behind the tree it was unlikely that they would be found. The lovers seemed intent upon each other. He tried to discern the identity of the young man, but could not. Elizabeth’s growing concern emanated loudly through her silence as she shifted about.

Darcy finally drew back behind the tree again and carefully sat down at its base. From what he’d seen and what he heard, it was obvious to him that his cousin’s virtue had long since been compromised and that his speaking up at this moment would not protect her. He could not help but smile grimly as he imagined Anne’s reaction were she to find him alone here with Elizabeth, even as he could not help but enjoy being near to Elizabeth this last time for a bit longer than he’d hoped. He looked up at Elizabeth.

He saw her eyes grow wide as the sounds of carnal delight increased. Her face flamed with a rosy blush as she heard passionate murmuring and sounds that were obvious to Darcy, but unfamiliar to her. Her brows went up and then narrowed as she puzzled over the noises of the unseen lovers. Darcy was by turns amused by this and horrified on her behalf. Finally, after shifting uncomfortably from one foot to the other for far too long, Elizabeth quietly sank down to the ground, her legs curled close beneath her. She nearly lost her balance as she adjusted one leg. Darcy reflexively reached out and steadied her. She was both startled and appreciative. He quickly pulled his hand back from her arm and looked away.

He realized that the lovers were not determined to be quick about their assignation. While it was obvious that some satisfaction had been achieved, it was also obvious that they were eager to find additional pleasure in each other. He closed his eyes against their cries and wondered how Anne had ever come to take an illicit lover. He dared not consider how Lady Catherine would act regarding this situation. He felt shame at the current circumstance. He wondered if the man cared for Anne so much as her inheritance and what would become of the pair. He opened his eyes and unintentionally met Elizabeth’s gaze. He saw curiosity mingled with mortification. He did not wish to react inappropriately, and he could not but wish that Elizabeth were to learn of passion and lovemaking in a different manner. He saw her innocence and found it exquisitely beautiful. He tried to carefully guard his expression as he treasured her.

He saw her look around, obviously wishing to avoid his gaze. Her eyes dropped to the letter in her hand with some curiosity, but when she again looked at him it was with an expression of such alarm that he could not but feel pity. He realized she must wonder about what he had written, but also knew that she did not think on him happily at all. The prospect of reading what he’d written while she was in his presence must be horrifying to her.

She saw his eyes follow hers. And in that moment the noises in the grove became even more lascivious and pronounced. Elizabeth put both hands over her ears for a moment. Darcy offered what he hoped she would understand to be a sympathetic smile. But he realized quickly that she misunderstood and thought he mocked her. Her gaze hardened. She sat back slightly. Finally, with deliberate slowness, she opened the pages and began to read.

Watching her, Darcy’s breathing grew shallow and he felt as though a thick darkness filled his mind.

Part II

Posted on Thursday, 17 November 2005

Darcy searched his memory for the exact words he’d written; praying he’d expressed himself well. He saw Elizabeth’s expression continue to contain doubt as she perused the letter. He feared he’d written to her in a spirit of anger and disappointment and fought the urge to tear the pages from her hands. As he sat and watched her, he admitted to himself that he’d hoped not only to acquit himself of her accusations, but had hoped the letter would cause her to regret her refusal. That looked so unlikely in the light of day!

Elizabeth snorted lightly and glared at him. Her glare was exciting to him, he realized. He assumed she must have just read of his part in separating Bingley from her sister. He considered his motives there and compared them with the disdain he saw in Elizabeth’s face. She continued reading. He began to puzzle over the many times he’d misunderstood her expressions of dislike as intriguing challenge, berating himself for a fool. Sunlight fell on them lightly through the canopy of green.

He began to see a change in her expression. She grew slightly pale and one hand moved to her throat. She looked at him with an expression of horror. He saw her reread a passage. Tears came to her eyes. He closed his own eyes, knowing that she now knew of what had occurred between Wickham and Georgiana. The horror of that narrow escape would haunt him for the rest of his life. He remembered the look on Georgiana’s face when she told him that she was in love, the shy joy of a woman-child. He remembered Georgiana’s dispirited tears after his outburst when she’d named the man she loved. He tried not to dwell on her low spirits since that time.

When he opened his eyes again he was caught by the emotions he saw in Elizabeth’s face. He saw sadness, sympathy, pity, self-recrimination and confusion. He did not see the hardness of moments before. He did not see loathing. His heart seemed to relax as he realized that she credited his assertions and his professed goal was accomplished. There was helplessness to her gestures as she waved a hand and then wiped tears from her face. He pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and handed it to her. She hid her eyes behind it for a long moment and then pressed it to each cheek before returning it. He knew he would treasure her tears and keep them close for the rest of his life.

Anne and her young man mercifully talked now instead of making love. Darcy heard his cousin laugh and could not recall when he’d last heard the pretty sound. He smiled slightly as he searched his memory. His smile faded when the conversation turned to discussion of him. The man asked, “So, may we rejoice? Will your cousin propose to the young lady?”

Anne replied with a mean-spirited laugh, “Oh! I only wish he would lower himself so, for she is strong willed and might even dare to refuse him! You should hear her talk with Mother.” Again she laughed, “It would never occur to him that she doesn’t care for him, though it is obvious to any observer. He is so accustomed to ladies throwing themselves at him that he could make quite a joke of himself if he so forgot his all-consuming pride as to make her an offer. What a spectacle he would be!”

Darcy’s wounds were fresh enough that he could not even smile in self contempt. He started when he felt Elizabeth touch his hand then. He reluctantly looked at her. He could not bear the pity he felt from her, though he appreciated the kind look she bestowed as she shook her head firmly. His only clear and unconfused emotion was disappointment. It threatened to overwhelm him. He blinked hard. Then he shook his head in disbelief as the lovers’ laughter subsided and the moaning began again. He was impressed with the young man’s resiliency.

He saw that Elizabeth read his letter again. She now looked thoughtful as she read all of it. After some time she shifted her legs up in front of her and leaned her head down to her knees as she hugged them close. He saw that her back was shaking and realized that she cried again. Her anguish seemed to last an eternity. He wished that it was his right to offer her comfort and debated for some time whether to offer his handkerchief again or to even simply touch her shoulder in a comforting fashion. With a struggle, he resisted the temptation. So when she finally looked up again, he was staring at her with urgency. He silently mouthed the words, “I am sorry.” And for the first time since he’d met her, he was truly sorry for his harsh assessment of her family. He had immediate proof that his own family did not always shine as an example of propriety. And as he saw her sadness he truly thought of her feelings.

He wished he’d dwelled on the merit of her behavior and bearing, as well as that of her elder sister, with more force. He’d done a poor job of explaining his admiration for her. He did not know how clearly his regrets showed or how deeply his heartfelt emotions impressed Elizabeth.

Elizabeth smiled in watery fashion as she saw Darcy’s unselfish kindness and his sadness, took a deep breath and then smiled more sincerely. She straightened her back and shoulders and wiped her tears away with her hands. He thought that she also looked fatigued and that perhaps she’d not slept well since they last spoke either.

For a half second he wished that she regretted her refusal, but then he remembered her words of the previous evening and realized starkly that her dislike of him was profound. This perversely, he thought, heightened his esteem for her as he considered their exchange from her point of view. She was open and artless. He, who professed to disdain disguise, inadvertently maintained a constant disguise of his feelings. Though he’d been brought up in good principles, he’d kept too much to himself and not acted as he ought to others. His cousin had just described his pride as all-consuming. As he saw that his pride had cost him any chance at the best of happiness, he could only agree.

The young man said with feeling, “Ah, my Anne, how I love you!”

Anne laughed shortly and replied, “Me or my fortune?” There was a moment of silence between the lovers. Darcy sat straighter, surprised by his cousin’s bluntness.

The man rasped, “I fairly despise your fortune. It keeps us apart. Were it not for it I could ask for your hand in marriage. My estate is nothing to yours, but is respectable. Were it not for your fortune you would not be expected to marry a man you despise!”

Darcy rolled his eyes and shook his head. He was too tired and cross to hide his exasperation. He did not wish to marry Anne, but had not thought that she disliked the idea even more than he did. Until recently he’d not considered the idea of any woman not wanting to be his bride. He saw Elizabeth smile slightly. He felt transparent, more exposed than he’d ever felt before. His only consolation was the trust he could expect of Elizabeth.

Anne said, “I do not hate Darcy, Andrew. I only wish not to marry him. He doesn’t care for me, certainly not in the way that you do!”

Darcy smiled to himself and raised his eyebrows as he considered the understatement of Anne’s words. He saw that Elizabeth looked amused. He did not bother to give her a dissemblingly polite look, he simply shrugged and laid his hands open in a gesture of mocking agreement. Elizabeth’s amusement increased and she gave him a smile that was almost friendly then.

The young man, now known to the eavesdroppers as Andrew, laughed and suggestively asked, “How shall I love you now, my Anne? Won’t you tell me?”

Darcy saw Elizabeth’s expression change to one of true alarm as Anne began to direct her lover’s actions in a very specific manner. Anne directed him in varied ways to be very attentive and soon began to moan again in ecstasy. Elizabeth put her hands over her eyes, unable to look at Darcy at all now that every action was being explained so completely. Darcy was astonished to hear his cousin begin to keen with loud delight. He reflected that he had underestimated his cousin’s capacity for passion.

Everyone in the grove stilled as Colonel Fitzwilliam cried out, “Anne! What are you doing?!?”

Part III

Darcy winced and closed his eyes against the sounds of recrimination, self-defense and furor in the grove. He saw that Elizabeth looked distraught as she heard the Colonel abuse the young man. She inched closer to the tree and Darcy, likely worried that the Colonel’s position and lack of happy preoccupation made it more likely that they might be discovered. He inhaled her scent and savored her closeness while blaming himself for his weakness and for their predicament.

Finally, the Colonel escorted Miss de Bourgh and the young man to the house. When they were gone, Elizabeth sat back and breathed out loudly in relief. Their eyes met, but it was several seconds before either could speak.

Darcy managed to say, “I am sorry, Miss Bennet.” Elizabeth cocked her head, looking quizzical. He continued, “I am sorry that in approaching you here I created a situation which could have compromised you. I am mortified by my cousin’s actions and sorry that you were exposed to such lasciviousness. I would not have had you hear--- such behavior.” His assumed guilt was plain in his face.

She stood, brushed grass and leaves from her skirt and said good naturedly, “Please do not take too much upon yourself, sir. Their behavior was not of your doing. I thank you for the mortification you bore for my sake. I know that you despise disguise of any sort.” She looked at him evenly, willing the blushes of the past several moments away.

As he stood, he pursed his lips and muttered, “With good reason!”

Elizabeth laughed slightly and said, “So, again I thank you for not exposing me to censure.” She looked down.

Darcy said, “I would never bring you harm.” He saw her look at him and nod. He gestured towards the letter and said, “I am sorry that my words brought you tears.” There was anguish apparent in his tone.

Elizabeth replied with forced evenness, “Your observations of my family were true.” Her voice trembled.

Darcy said dryly, “It would be just to note that my own family’s behavior is not always above reproach.”

Elizabeth looked away towards the house and the path the others had taken. She said, “I would not judge you by the behavior of your family any more than I would wish you to judge me by the behavior of some of mine.” She looked him in the eye and said warmly, “We are each ourselves, unique.” It was obvious that for the first time she was considering his merits in a friendly way. He shivered with apprehension as he wondered if he would again be found wanting.

He responded with feeling, “You are all that is charming and vibrant and lovely.” His color was high. He knew he had no right to speak so, but feared that he might never have opportunity to convey his admiration adequately again if he did not do so now.

She looked alarmed and avoided his gaze.

Darcy sighed and said, “I apologize again.” He bowed and said, “I believe my presence will be wanted at the house.” He looked down and spoke quietly, “Thank you for reading that letter. I hope you will burn it. I am sorry for any harsh sentiments or judgments that appear therein, or any that I have uttered at any time during our acquaintance.”

Elizabeth clutched the letter close and said, “I will burn it if you wish, but first I wish to read it again and consider your words fairly. Part of my pain today is the realization that I allowed prejudice to blind me. I feel as though I did not know myself until today. I hope that you understand that I would like to consider your perspective thoroughly before destroying the letter.”

His feelings were so strong in that moment that he could hardly speak. He spoke quietly, “I understand and I thank you.” He glanced towards Rosings. Reluctantly, he bowed to Elizabeth and walked away from her. She watched him go. He was sorely tempted to look at her again, but did not.

Part IV

Posted on Tuesday, 22 November 2005

Darcy was surprised to find that all was quiet within the house on his arrival. He was greeted by a butler who quietly informed him that Lady Catherine wished to see him. Darcy noted that the butler looked at him a bit oddly. With no little trepidation, he went to his aunt. He found her alone. She seemed very calm as he came into her presence. She looked at him steadily, assumed a cheery tone and inquired, “Did you enjoy your walk, Nephew?”

Darcy only said, “Rosings Park is lovely at this time of year.” He waited and watched as Lady Catherine cleared her throat and offered him refreshment, asking that he sit with her. He noticed that she did not eat from her plate and that her hands trembled.

Finally, Lady Catherine said, “Darcy, my dear boy, I feel that the time has come for us to discuss your future.” Darcy did not respond. She continued, “When you were very young your dear mother expressed her loving wishes for your happiness and prosperity to me.” Darcy sat back, anxious for what was to come. Lady Catherine attempted a sweet smile, but the resulting expression was rather gruesome. She said, “Darcy, your mother wished that when the time came you would add to your prosperity by taking Anne as your wife.” She cleared her throat. “I believe that time has come.” Darcy stared at Lady Catherine, horror struck as she continued in rushed fashion, “You are above seven and twenty. Georgiana is at a tender age and needs feminine guidance. Pemberley needs a mistress. With Pemberley and Rosings together, your fortune will be immense. It is a very eligible match, all that your mother wanted for you, and all that I want for you as well.” Again Lady Catherine attempted and failed a sincere and motherly smile.

Darcy sat back and struggled to form a response. He looked at Lady Catherine and said evenly, “Lady Catherine, I have perceived no partiality for me on my cousin’s part.”

Lady Catherine shook her head and spoke vehemently, “What do you mean? You are mistaken! Anne thinks very fondly of you! With all that you are and all that you possess, what young woman would not?”

Darcy stifled a derisive sound in response to this statement and politely said, “I appreciate your concern, but do not agree that a marriage between Anne and myself is best for either of us.” Lady Catherine’s silence was ominous. Finally Darcy said, “I have even wondered if Anne’s affections might be engaged elsewhere.” His look to his aunt gave her great unease.

Lady Catherine’s voice was tight and shrill as she said, “Darcy, you speak nonsense! Anne has been engaged to you since she was born, engaged according to the wishes of her mother and yours.” She sounded desperate.

Darcy sat back and looked at his aunt, angry at her willingness to deceive him. He asked quietly, “Where is Fitzwilliam?”

Lady Catherine ignored this and chose a different tack, saying, “Do not change the subject. I will not be gainsaid in this matter. I have allowed you enough time to see your responsibility and come to the decision on your own. Now it is time for me to help you to do what is best for our family. Marry Anne, Darcy. Please, give me your word right now that you will marry her.” Her lips were pursed anxiously.

Darcy was disgusted that his aunt was willing to attempt to dupe him. To urge him to pledge an engagement before he could discover that his intended had thrown herself away on another man, to risk his unknowingly raising another man’s child as his heir, was beyond insult! He could only console himself that Lady Catherine acted from a mother’s concerns. As he looked at her he realized that he ought to be able to forgive much of Mrs. Bennet’s silliness, especially as it seemed far more benign than his aunt’s. He forced himself not to allow his mounting anger to show. He looked at his aunt and in an utterly calm voice said, “I will not marry Anne.”

Lady Catherine huffed, “Of course you will! It is your duty.”

Darcy said, “I do not see that marrying Anne is my duty.” He stood and paced back and forth before the windows. “I am sorry to pain you, Aunt, but I know what has happened to cause this matter to become such an urgent concern for you. I will not make her my wife.” He held up a hand to still Lady Catherine before she could express outrage. “The duty to marry Anne lies with the man she cares for, the man whom she met secretly today.” As Lady Catherine sputtered on about duty and prosperity and equal alliances, Darcy quickly took his leave. He heard her struggling to her feet to follow him.

In the hallway he met Fitzwilliam. Fitzwilliam looked terrible. He said tentatively, “Where have you been, Darcy? I’ve looked for you everywhere. I cannot say why, but we cannot leave today.”

Darcy, whose hold on his temper was frayed, bit out, “I know why!” Fitzwilliam blanched. Darcy asked, “Where is Anne?”

Fitzwilliam said in a subdued voice, “She has retired to her chamber. She does not feel well.”

Darcy snorted derisively. “Well, she has certainly had a more active day than we’ve been given to think usual for her!”

Fitzwilliam asked, “Why so angry, Darcy? Surely you don’t nurse wounds of disappointment for yourself over Anne?”

Darcy’s anger deflated as he replied, “No, cousin. Anne has not disappointed me, except as I care for her soul and her lack of moral behavior.” He shook his head and reflected, “The only person I have to blame for my disappointment is myself.” He turned and took the stairs quickly, leaving Fitzwilliam behind looking at him with confused concern. Lady Catherine also stood in the hallway. She and Fitzwilliam looked at each other, both puzzled by Darcy’s words.

Part V

The next morning Elizabeth expected at every moment that a message would arrive from Rosings telling the Collinses and their guests that the evening’s dinner invitation must be cancelled. So, she allowed that her headache was gone and her health much improved. Mr. Collins’ concern was alleviated greatly. While he knew his benefactress to be generous beyond measure, he worried that she might take offense if his cousin refused her invitations repeatedly. He professed to be pleased for his cousin’s sake, too. In deference to Charlotte, Elizabeth thanked him and accepted his assurances of concern for her with outward graciousness, keeping her sharp-edged amusement to herself.

She walked slowly with them to the nearby village, quiet as she thought about the events of the previous days and her dreams of Mr. Darcy from the previous night.

In her dreams she and Darcy had been the ones lying on blankets in the grove. The sun had played across her naked skin along with Darcy’s hands and lips. She vividly remembered the warm sensations. They had stayed with her since she had awoken before the sunrise from a particularly intense dream. She blushed again as she remembered dream sensations and desires.

Such thoughts were of no help in untangling all that had passed between them! She’d read his letter several times and was in fair way to having it memorized. She had not resolved on burning it yet, excusing her reluctance without understanding. As to the principle accusations he’d refuted, she fully believed his account of Mr. Wickham and was sickened by the manner in which she’d accused him of wrongdoing there. As to Jane’s sadness, she believed he did not maliciously cause it, but still held him to blame. She felt his interference had been officious. Yet she knew that Jane’s proper reticence and their family’s ill conduct bore a greater share of the blame.

Beyond these concerns she’d found herself remembering the way he’d looked at her, and changed her recollection of his finding fault with her to one of much more flattering attention. She was amazed at how easy it was to see his behavior differently based on the honor of admiration rather than the assumption of dislike. She did not hold either him or herself blameless in the whole affair. He had been guilty of expressing himself badly. She had been guilty of quickly condemning him after he’d mortified her pride. Such self-comprehension was uncomfortable.

While waiting for Charlotte outside of a shop in the nearby village, Elizabeth heard a familiar voice. She turned quickly to see, but tried not to stare. He was young and dressed nicely, in the apparel of a gentleman farmer. His features were plain, but pleasant, and his figure was that of an active person who worked hard with his hands every day. When Charlotte came out, the man spoke pleasantly to her before taking his leave.

During the walk back to the parsonage Elizabeth inquired about him. Charlotte looked surprised and replied, “I am sorry that I did not introduce you, Lizzy. I had no idea you would want the introduction, else I would have.”

Elizabeth felt a sudden pang as she asked, “Charlotte, why would I not want the introduction?”

Charlotte smiled and replied, “Well, you have always been particular about your friends and acquaintances in my experience.”

Elizabeth asked, “Is there something amiss about him?”

Charlotte replied, “I do not mean to infer such. You miss my meaning. He is just not the sort of man I would expect you to find interesting. He is not particularly well-informed, except perhaps regarding farming. He is not handsome. He is not wealthy. He is neither charming nor witty. He seems a decent fellow though he does not distinguish himself in any way I would think intriguing to you.”

Elizabeth felt a slight sense of alarm as she said, “You make me sound quite singular, Charlotte.” She felt the similarity that this gave her to Darcy. She also tried not to think that Darcy answered most of those requirements of someone who would interest her.

Charlotte smiled and looked away, and did not reply to this. Instead she said, “Since you asked I will tell you that he is Mr. Andrew Sumner, owner of Rosemount house and farm, worth perhaps 1000 pounds per annum. His family has been in this parish for several generations. He is neither married nor engaged. I know that he is kind and helpful. I remember one time a few months ago when he assisted Miss de Bourgh. Her phaeton gave her some trouble while she was exploring the countryside. Mr. Collins, of course, recounted the incident as an emergency of the first order!" She laughed. "And if we meet him again I will be happy to introduce you. He is an eligible match and I should be glad to have you comfortably situated and so near.”

Elizabeth looked at Charlotte with alarm. “How quickly you have settled on a marriage from a simple inquiry as to a name! Do not behave in that way, Charlotte. You remind me of my mother.”

Charlotte replied, “I do care for your well being.”

Elizabeth shook her head, knowing that her well being would not be secured by marriage to Anne de Bourgh’s lover, as she believed Sumner to be. He would be the last man to please her! A man lacking honor! A man who would compromise a lonely maiden! She shook her head again.

As the day grew long Elizabeth’s sense of puzzled anxiety increased. She alone of the Hunsford party suspected the truth, that Lady Catherine was too preoccupied with her concerns to remember the party, even to cancel her invitation. No message came and Elizabeth, unable to voice a reasonable excuse, felt constrained by her cousin’s wishes to go to dinner at Rosings.

As she walked up the lane to Rosings, she could only hope that Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam had left Kent as they’d previously planned. She did not feel equal to meeting Darcy again so soon. Yet at the same time, she almost hoped to see him, if only to gain more understanding of the man.

She saw that their party was unexpected from the expression on the butler’s face as he opened the door. Charlotte also felt a difference in the man’s greeting, though she had no idea of why he behaved differently. She looked at Elizabeth in a puzzled way. Elizabeth only shrugged. After several moments the butler came back and invited them in. Elizabeth saw that Lady Catherine looked quietly angry, high of color and with a resentful expression. Anne looked so frail that Elizabeth could hardly believe that she beheld the girl of passion she’d heard. She blushed, remembering. Anne looked as though she’d been crying, Elizabeth thought. There was no sign of the gentlemen.

Lady Catherine looked at her guests appraisingly and rang a bell. She told a servant to inform Colonel Fitzwilliam and Mr. Darcy that the party from the parsonage had arrived to join them all for dinner. Then she sat back and allowed Mr. Collins to carry conversation’s weight upon his own desire to flatter her. He murmured about her fine reputation and her generosity.

Elizabeth thought that Lady Catherine looked as though she was preoccupied, hardly hearing the clergyman celebrate her beneficence, though she did mutter thoughtfully the word, “…reputation…” as she nodded her head. When the gentlemen entered the room, Lady Catherine lifted her chin and her countenance held an expression that nearly terrified the uncomprehending Mr. Collins. Her look to Mr. Darcy was resentful. Elizabeth wondered what disagreement Lady Catherine had with Darcy.

The Colonel greeted everyone politely, though Elizabeth could see that he was surprised to find guests at Rosings this evening. Darcy’s expression was inscrutable. He turned away once minimal greetings had been politely made and moved over by the window, intent on the scenery without. Elizabeth saw that he twisted his pinkie ring. She wondered if the gesture indicated some disquiet on his part, thinking she’d seen him do it before. She realized that she’d been staring when he glanced at her. She smiled. He nodded to her and then returned to his contemplation, though he seemed more conscious of her.

Mr. Collins fell silent from his raptures on the merits of the noble parties present for a moment. Lady Catherine seized from this silence an opportunity. She cleared her throat and spoke loudly, for all to hear. “I am happy for the opportunity to share good news with you, Mr. Collins, Mrs. Collins, Miss Lucas, and of course Miss Bennet.” She nodded to her audience, who were now rapt with attention. “I have tidings of the best kind to share.” She smiled triumphantly.

Elizabeth saw Darcy suddenly turn from his reverie, a look of dismay on his face. From the corner of her eye she saw Anne de Bourgh lean forward and whisper, “No!” as she shook her head vehemently. Elizabeth’s heart began to pound more quickly as she dreaded Lady Catherine’s next words.

Lady Catherine continued, “It seems that we are to celebrate a wedding! My nephew Mr. Darcy has proposed marriage.” Anxiety caused Lady Catherine to draw breath as she noted the reactions of the members of the company.

Elizabeth saw that Lady Catherine hoped to force Darcy to marry Miss de Bourgh by publicly ‘granting her blessing’ to their union, whether Darcy intended such action or not. From his expression, and considering recent events, Elizabeth did not believe that Darcy wished to marry his cousin. That lady’s current grief and earlier protestations of love for Mr. Sumner added to the dilemma. But Lady Catherine obviously believed that Darcy would prefer marriage with Miss de Bourgh to seeing her, and thus his family, possibly ruined by a scandal. His sense of decency could trap him as neatly as any shackles.

Abruptly Elizabeth stood and said, “This announcement is precipitous. Mr. Darcy has proposed to me, Lady Catherine, but he has not spoken with my father to receive his blessing.”

Part VI

Posted on Tuesday, 29 November 2005

Anne de Bourgh leapt from her seat, “Oh! I am so happy! I am delighted!” She hugged an astonished Elizabeth and then an even more astonished Darcy. She had to wipe tears of joy from her eyes. She laughed and cried at once.

Lady Catherine’s mouth hung open as she stared at Elizabeth. Mr. Collins, dully believing his patroness favorable towards the match, stepped towards Elizabeth and gushed, “Cousin Elizabeth, I am all astonishment! I must congratulate you on such an illustrious match. With your lack of dowry I never would have expected such a thing!” Here, Mr. Collins realized he’d erred. He glanced at Darcy and simpered, “Of course, I mean your lack of dowry other than your charming wit and beauty.” He drew himself up and continued, “I have always said that you are a remarkable beauty, fair cousin. I even offered for you myself, though of course that was doomed by your fate with Mr. Darcy. I now see why you refused me! You are indeed clever! Such a flower of femininity!”

Darcy stared at Elizabeth fixedly, his eyes only leaving her for a second as he absorbed the thought that she’d refused Mr. Collins, too. He saw that her color was high and that she looked nearly as surprised as he felt. She searched for words to reply to her cousin and failed to find any. She moved her hand up before her mouth as though she could not believe the words that had just escaped her.

Mr. Collins bowed and scraped before Darcy as he fairly ranted about Elizabeth’s numerous charms. His wife looked at him without any visible and outward sign of the distaste she felt for him, only a small smile.

Colonel Fitzwilliam slowly moved towards Elizabeth and leaned over to kiss her hand. He spoke quietly, “I will be happy to welcome you to our family, Miss Bennet.”

Lady Catherine sputtered, “You, you…”

Before she could form coherent and likely insulting words, Darcy spoke. Haltingly and with measured effort, he said, “Yes. As Lady Catherine says, I have proposed marriage to Miss Bennet. However, she has yet to accept my proposal.” His look to Elizabeth was full of gratitude and caution. “She has only agreed that I might call on her and attempt to gain her acceptance and that of her family.” Elizabeth could see that Darcy trembled.

A multitude of emotions flowed through Elizabeth. She felt a small sense of disappointment as she realized that Darcy had pulled them both back from the brink of marriage. She was amazed that she’d spoken to commit herself to him and she was happy that Lady Catherine’s plan had been foiled.

Finally, Lady Catherine managed to choke out a word, “Nonsense!”

Darcy replied coldly, “The only nonsense is your presumption in making such an announcement.” Elizabeth looked at him with admiration. He noted this, but was uncertain as to its meaning.

Lady Catherine yelled, “But, Anne!” Mr. Collins looked overwhelmed by confusion at his mistress’ discomfort and the obvious undercurrents of friction in the room. Charlotte looked at the others with interest, analyzing and measuring levels of emotion and response.

Anne de Bourgh coughed and said merrily, “Oh! Perhaps my information was inaccurate, Mother. My error is easy to understand. I imagine, however, that Darcy will acquit himself well as he endeavors to win Miss Bennet’s affections through a proper courtship.” She giggled.

Darcy reflected to himself that his cousin was making good use of her newfound talents of deception. He looked at her evenly, and dryly said, “Thank you for your comments on proper behavior, Cousin Anne.” She looked somewhat abashed, though still happy.

Lady Catherine was apoplectic and for the first time in her life utterly at a loss for words. Her fists balled at her sides, she glared at Anne as Darcy censured her. Then she looked at Mr. Darcy’s seemingly controlled expression and then Elizabeth’s blushing countenance. As Mr. Collins began again to speak compliments to Mr. Darcy and assurances that his illustrious suit for Elizabeth’s hand would be accepted gratefully, the great lady stood and stalked from the room. Anne de Bourgh smoothly said, “I believe that my mother is overwhelmed.” Again she giggled, full of relief.

Mr. Collins looked alarmed. He sputtered, “Do you think we ought to send for the apothecary?” He went even more pale than usual.

Charlotte looked around at the others and said, “Perhaps we’d best go for him ourselves, my dear. In such an important matter as Lady Catherine’s well being, who else could we trust?” She moved to leave the room and gestured to her husband and her sister. She then whispered quickly to Elizabeth, “I think it might be best if you wait here and talk with Mr. Darcy.”

Elizabeth nodded and stayed behind.

Mr. Collins ranted, “We must make haste! Her health must be safeguarded at all costs!” He did not even notice that they left Rosings without his cousin. As his frantic cries faded down the hallways, the others looked at each other.

Colonel Fitzwilliam said, “Could someone tell me what just happened?”

Anne let out a long sigh. She sat down and let her hands fall limp in her lap.

Darcy stepped forward and said quietly, “Miss Bennet, would you do me the honor of taking a turn about the room with me? I would speak with you.” The others stared.

Fitzwilliam smiled grimly, “We will act as your chaperones, Miss Bennet. Fear not.” He glared at Anne, still angry about the events of the previous day. Miss de Bourgh nodded weakly. Fitzwilliam looked at Darcy sharply, suspicious that he’d been somehow duped.

Elizabeth nodded her thanks to the Colonel and her assent to his cousin. She and Darcy walked side by side to the farthest windows. Darcy looked back at his cousins and noted loudly, “The prospect from these windows is quite fair; wouldn’t you agree?” Elizabeth only nodded.

There was a long silence between them. Finally Darcy said, “Thank you for your kindness.” Then he was again silent. He did not look happy.

Elizabeth said earnestly, “Her intent seemed unjust. You do not deserve to be forced into an unwanted marriage because of someone else’s bad behavior.” Now that the heat of confrontation was past her heart beat rapidly and her fingers trembled with cold.

He looked at her sharply. “Neither do you, Miss Bennet!” Darcy looked angry and yet thoughtful. Finally he said, “The only course open to us is a courtship. And, if at the end of a decent interval your feelings remain unchanged, then I will stand down.” He could not meet her eye as he said this last. She heard bitterness in his tone.

Elizabeth confessed, “I felt such anger that I did not think clearly.” She was too confused at the moment to decide how she felt about being courted by Mr. Darcy.

Darcy nodded and awkwardly offered, “As I said, you are very kind. I have always admired that quality in you.”

Elizabeth looked up at him. His posture was stiff and utterly correct, but as she looked in his eyes she saw pain therein. She realized from his words that he was making a tentative beginning at courting her. Yet he was unsure whether or not he could claim that right. She gave him the slightest of smiles and asked wryly, “What of kindness have you seen from me, Mr. Darcy?”

His brows came together and he urgently said, “Your attentions to your sister when she was ill at Netherfield were kindness itself!”

She looked dismissive of this and said, “Who could act differently to Jane? She is everything good and kind, not me.”

He looked down, his expression even more grave now, and said, “I see. My treatment of her is such an impediment that I cannot presume to call on you without first rectifying my error.”

Elizabeth’s eyes widened briefly. Then she considered his words for some time. Finally she said, “Mr. Darcy, I cannot be pleased by the part which you acted in that matter, but it is to your credit that you admit your error and I do not believe that you acted with malice. I would hope that your understanding, regardless of any selfish considerations, would lead you to good behavior.” He looked taken aback but said nothing. She continued, “However, I think that we have both said too much before our family and friends to allow such considerations.” She paused and then said, “I would be honored if you would call on me and my family.”

Darcy’s astonishment was plain to see. He had questions, but they were too many and his feelings too strong for him to put into words. Finally, he bowed to Elizabeth and said simply, “Thank you.”

Part VII

Posted on Thursday, 1 December 2005

Thus it was that the following fortnight saw Fitzwilliam Darcy calling at Longbourn to speak first with an acerbically skeptical Mr. Bennet and then to wait in the hallway as Elizabeth spoke with her father alone. All Darcy could hear of their exchange was Mr. Bennet’s laughter, which did little to alleviate his anxiety. He could not know that Mr. Bennet had received a steady stream of communications from Hunsford Parsonage since Elizabeth had returned home that had at first entreated him to grant her hand to Mr. Darcy immediately, ending Lady Catherine de Bourgh’s suspense and worry; and then dramatically changed to beg Mr. Bennet to restrain Elizabeth and her wiles from bringing Mr. Darcy to ruin.

Elizabeth’s incomplete explanations had only given Mr. Bennet more to sport with. Indeed he found the whole situation delightfully entertaining. That the formerly disdainful Darcy should come to beg him for anything was beyond astonishment. Elizabeth’s acceptance and increasing interest in the matter were equally amusing. It wasn’t often that Mr. Bennet saw his second daughter at a loss to command a social situation. He saw much to observe and enjoy.

Finally the library door opened and Mr. Bennet came out. He said, “Very well, Mr. Darcy. You may call upon Elizabeth and spend time with our family. And God have mercy upon you, sir!” With this, Mr. Bennet laughed and returned to the quiet sanctity of his library, urging his second daughter to leave him.

Elizabeth came into the hallway and closed the library door behind her quietly. She saw that Darcy looked even more grave than he had when he had first entered the drawing room. Elizabeth glanced that way, knowing that her mother and sisters awaited them there in suspense. With a small smile to Darcy she walked past him and said, “Mr. Darcy has expressed a desire to see the park. Who will join us?”

Darcy could hear Mrs. Bennet speaking sotto voce. “No, Jane! Do not go. They do not need you about. Let the gentleman have some time alone with Lizzy if he has decided to condescend so generously as to want it! No!”

But Jane did exit the drawing room and take her spencer from the maid. She smiled sweetly to Darcy and said, “Shall we walk outside now, Mr. Darcy? Lizzy?” Elizabeth touched Jane’s shoulder affectionately as she also took a spencer from the maid and thanked her.

Following Elizabeth’s example, Darcy thanked the maid for her assistance. The sisters’ amusement was plain for him to see when he dared look at them. Nonplussed, he gestured for the Bennet sisters to precede him out of the house. They all walked for some time in companionable quiet before Darcy felt compelled to note, “You have a pretty park.” He then looked at a loss for words.

Elizabeth again looked amused. Jane pitied Mr. Darcy and replied, “You are too kind. We have heard that you have a truly spectacular estate to the north.”

Darcy clasped his hands tightly behind his back, tension evident in his manner. He replied, “I am honored with the responsibility of Pemberley, but that does not mean that I can not appreciate the beauty to be found in other places.” Jane smiled encouragement as Darcy continued, “Longbourn is a fine estate. From what I have heard, your father’s management of it is a credit to him.” His voice trailed off as he again caught sight of Elizabeth’s smile.

Jane replied, “That is very kind. I do believe that he tries to maintain it well for our sakes as well as that of the neighborhood. His jovial manner much of the time is at odds with the effort he makes in that quarter.”

Darcy only nodded in agreement.

At that moment, Kitty Bennet came out calling, “Jane! You are wanted by our Mother!”

The sisters looked at each other, Jane looking distressed and Elizabeth rolling her eyes. Jane replied, “Coming, Kitty!” and turned towards the house.

Elizabeth was pleased to see that Kitty stayed out in the garden, playing on the swing. She said, “Let us stay out here and enjoy the fine weather, Mr. Darcy. We can watch my younger sister there.” She gestured to a nearby bench. They both sat down. She found that she was pleasantly aware of his nearness, and in fact had to school herself not to show too much pleasure. Her dreams had continued to place them together in the grove at Rosings Park, most intimately engaged. She blushed slightly and banished that thought as best she could.

Darcy noted the rosy color of her cheeks, sighed and said, “I think I should tell you that I have written to Bingley to let him know about my coming here.”

Elizabeth raised her eyebrows and said, “Oh?”

Darcy continued, “I also related in that missive the truth of my actions over the winter. I do not know how Bingley will act, but his actions will be of his own design and not based on misinformation.” He looked down at the ground as he spoke.

Elizabeth said, “I hope you have acted from your own convictions, Mr. Darcy.”

He nodded and said, “I have. You helped me to see that my interference was officious.” He shook his head, “I saw no way to fulfill my intention of calling here without letting Bingley know of my error as well as my intentions.”

Elizabeth thought on this for some time. “Well, it is up to him now, as it ought to be. He must grow to be his own man, don’t you think?”

Darcy smiled tightly and said, “I have a propensity to protect those I care for. I understand that I misapplied it in Bingley’s case before, but it shall be a challenge for me to curb the instinct.”

Elizabeth teasingly offered, “Even with my encouragement and censure?”

Darcy did not understand her tone. Seriously, he replied, “Your censure has made a lasting impression on me as I hope you will see.” He caught her eye and plaintively said, “And I can only hope to receive your encouragement.”

Elizabeth was slightly unnerved by his vulnerability, but laughed lightly and teased him, “Then you will have to learn to laugh more, I think. You are very serious, Mr. Darcy!” She was warmed by the intensity of his gaze. She realized then that beneath his politeness to her lurked an intense physical desire. She had never before felt the pull of being so wanted. It made her feel breathless in a way that was new to her.

Darcy struggled for a reply and puzzled cautiously over her looks to him. He had foolishly convinced himself in the past that she received his attentions with pleasure. He feared that he was deceiving himself again, but did not quite believe his fears. She smiled more and seemed to look at him more than before, and indeed more warmly. As he stared at her they both became aware of the sound of an approaching coach. As the coach stopped before the house, Kitty ran over to greet the new arrivals. The sound of hearty laughter within the coach brought a pretty smile to Elizabeth’s face. Darcy managed to say, “Laughter does become you, Miss Bennet.” Her smile grew as she turned to look at him. Then, it suddenly faded as Mr. Wickham exited the coach and handed Lydia down. Wickham kissed Lydia’s hand with exaggerated gallantry, and indeed for longer than he ought. Lydia’s pleasure in this was obvious for all to see. When Wickham straightened up and turned to Elizabeth and Darcy he looked surprised to see Darcy, but after a moment’s hesitation, he bowed to them both before returning to the coach.

Lydia and Kitty both boisterously shouted to the occupants of the coach, Mrs. Forster, another lady and Lieutenants Denny and Wickham. Then the girls ran giggling together into the house as the coach drove away.

Once again silence hung in the air between Elizabeth and Darcy. After a moment, Darcy offered quietly, “I believe I must speak again with your father, Miss Bennet.”

She replied with evident concern, “Thank you. I would appreciate that.” He nodded to her reassuringly.

On returning to the house, they found that Mr. Bennet was not available and the ladies were making ready for an evening of entertainment at the Phillips’ house. Mrs. Bennet asked expectantly, “We hope that you will come with us this evening, Mr. Darcy. My sister Phillips is hosting an evening of cards and social time. Elizabeth is a great favorite of her aunt’s, for of course she is possessed of such a lively and sweet disposition.” As an afterthought, Mrs. Bennet added. “Mr. Bennet does not always accompany us, but has agreed to tonight.” She looked from Elizabeth to Darcy, questions and hope in her gaze.

Darcy bowed to Mrs. Bennet and politely offered, “If it would not be an imposition, I would be glad of the opportunity to know more of your family, Mrs. Bennet.” Mrs. Bennet was nearly overwhelmed by this civility and giggled and squeezed Elizabeth’s shoulder in a manner Elizabeth found utterly embarrassing. Darcy made plans to meet them at the Phillips’ house and returned to the Inn at Meryton to rest and prepare.

When he arrived there he was surprised to find that he had a guest. After the maid closed the doors to the inn’s parlor, Bingley said, “What have you to say for it, Darcy? How can you dare to call at Longbourn after all you said of the Bennet family to me?”

Part VIII

Upstairs at Longbourn, Elizabeth sighed to Jane, “I must say that spending time with Mr. Darcy in the presence of our mother is nearly more trying than pleasurable. I worry so over what she will say or do.”

A shadow crossed Jane’s face as she said, “I understand, Lizzy. I have borne her enthusiasm in similar situations. Please know that I will do my best to relieve your suffering as I can.”

Lydia came bounding into the room, half dressed. She held up a gown and asked, “Is this not nice?” Jane assured her that her gown was lovely. Lydia asked, “What on earth was Mr. Darcy doing here today, Lizzy?”

Elizabeth’s cheeks went pink as Jane kindly answered for her, “Mr. Darcy has asked Papa’s permission to call on Elizabeth, Lydia.”

Lydia gasped and then yelled, “Kitty! It is true! Mr. Darcy is courting Lizzy!” She burst out in a fit of giggling. Kitty came bounding in the room and joined Lydia. Elizabeth watched them with a mild look of disgust on her face. She looked out into the hallway and saw Mary standing nearby, obviously listening.

Jane admonished, “Lydia! Kitty! Whatever is the matter with you?”

Lydia stopped giggling long enough to say, “Well, I don’t care how rich he is! I don’t like him. He’s treated poor Wickham abominably. Say! Maybe you can make him give Wickham the living he kept from him, or even better, a fair settlement.”

Elizabeth replied sharply, “Mr. Darcy has been most fair with Mr. Wickham already.”

Kitty said, “Oh, a settlement would be better. Wickham is not dull enough to be a clergyman!”

Lydia giggled again and said, “Indeed he is not so dull! He is the handsomest man we’ve ever met and the most charming, too. And you need not take that tone with me, Lizzy. I know you prefer Wickham and are just putting up with Mr. Darcy’s attentions because he is so rich!” There was a pitying look on Lydia’s face for a moment.

Elizabeth shook her head and said, “Nothing of the kind, Lydia. Mr. Darcy is an honorable gentleman, good and kind. He is respectable. Mr. Wickham sorely lacks those qualities.” Elizabeth realized also that she was drawn to Darcy, but could not put such feelings into words.

Mary interjected, “A man need not be the handsomest you meet to be worthy of your friendship.” She looked startled as the others turned to stare at her. She stammered, “He may have other qualities of merit despite lacking that attribute.”

Lydia sniffed, “All Wickham lacks is money and that is Mr. Darcy’s doing!” She flounced out of the room. Kitty followed her. Mary watched them go by without saying another word. Slowly she walked back to her room, a book in hand.

Jane said, “Do not mind them, Lizzy. They will see in time that Mr. Darcy is a good man.”

Elizabeth chewed her lip and said, “Though it gives me concern, I forgive their trust of him easily, Jane. I was just as deceived in Mr. Wickham. As Mr. Darcy once said to me, ‘Mr. Wickham has manners that enable him to make friends readily.’”

Jane asked, “Did you enjoy your talk with Mr. Darcy?”

Elizabeth laughed shyly, “I did, but I cannot say why. He is very quiet and very serious, but I have learned to think that he likes me very much.”

Jane said, “Don’t you mean that he loves you?” She smiled happily.

Elizabeth blushed and said, “That may be possible. It was difficult for me to think that previously, for he did not really know enough of me to feel love.” Then she laughed at herself, “But after a few civil conversations and an expression of interest on his part I am quite ready to make myself silly over him!” She laughed at herself.

Jane smiled mildly. “Lizzy! There is nothing silly about his admiration. He seems a man who feels deeply. And he has the good taste to admire you, so I am determined to think well of him!”

Elizabeth replied with laughter in her voice, “Well, if you say so then I shall think well of him, too.” She was too shy of her admiration of his form and the many exciting dreams she’d had of him to share those feelings with anyone, even Jane.

Jane answered teasingly, “You said that you regret speaking with so much force of how much you disliked him previously. Yet you have not repented enough to speak with equal force of his virtues.”

Elizabeth’s smile was unlike any Jane had seen from her before. She walked over to the window and looked out for a moment. Finally, she turned to her sister and said, “I have thought of little else over recent weeks. I have read over his letter to me and considered the events of our acquaintance in a new light. And I have come to the conclusion that he is a good man of intelligence and integrity.” She paused and then said tentatively, “Also, I would not do my feelings justice if I did not admit that I find him very handsome.” She quickly changed her tone to one of playfulness. “I would not allow even that he was handsome when I was determined to vilify him, you see.” Finally she looked serious. She said, “I do like him, Jane. I believe that I could come to love him.”

Jane took her sister’s hands and said, “I think that you are happier than I have seen before, Lizzy.” She shook her head, “While I still cannot understand the risk you took when you nearly promised yourself to him, I think you may yet be glad of it.”

Part IX

That evening there was quite a stir among the neighbors when Mr. Darcy entered the Phillips’ home. For not only was the news that he courted Elizabeth Bennet blazing its way through the populace, but Mr. Darcy did not arrive unaccompanied. He came into the house followed by Mr. Bingley. As they entered the room, Jane grasped Elizabeth’s hand tightly but did not allow any emotion to show on her face.

Mr. Darcy stood stiffly as he greeted Mrs. Phillips. “Madam, I thank you for extending your invitation this evening to include me. I hope you will forgive me for bringing an additional guest. Mr. Bingley arrived in Hertfordshire this afternoon and was most eager for the chance to become reacquainted with his neighbors.” He glanced at Mr. Bingley and allowed amusement to cross his face as he saw his friend nodding in effusive agreement.

Mrs. Bennet stood next to her sister as Mrs. Phillips welcomed the gentlemen. Mrs. Bennet said, “You are quite in my debt, Mr. Bingley. You had accepted an invitation to dine with my family before you were called away so abruptly.”

Mr. Bingley looked a bit silly, and only said, “I am very glad to see you again, Mrs. Bennet.”

Mr. Bennet spoke from behind his wife. “Quite right. I’m sure you’ve been counting the seconds until you could see Mrs. Bennet.” At this, Mr. Bingley turned crimson and was rendered speechless.

Mr. Darcy bowed and spoke, “Mrs. Bennet, Mr. Bennet. It is a pleasure to see you. I hope you are well.” Mr. Bennet laughed shortly and took a sip of his drink.

Mrs. Bennet smiled broadly and said, “My dear Mr. Darcy! Of course we are delighted that you were able to come.” She watched Mr. Bingley closely, noting with approval how he seemed to seek out Jane with his eyes. She called, “Jane, Elizabeth! Come greet the gentlemen!” The feathers in her hat bounced and swayed as she broadly gestured to her daughters.

Jane’s hand clasped Elizabeth’s even more tightly. When Elizabeth began to move, she was delayed by the fact that Jane seemed unable to follow. She leaned closer and whispered, “Courage, beloved. I am with you.” With this, Jane relaxed her grip on her sister and smoothly glided forward. She curtsied gracefully, eyes downcast.

Elizabeth said, “Good evening, Mr. Darcy.”

He bowed and replied, “Good evening. You look lovely this evening, Miss Elizabeth. And how are you, Miss Bennet?” The gaze he turned to Jane was full of understanding.

As she glanced up into Mr. Darcy’s eyes, Jane felt the concern for her that emanated from him. She did not feel that it was partnered with derision or pity; instead she felt as though he looked upon her as a sister he would protect and encourage. She straightened her posture slightly and smiled sincerely, “I am well. Thank you, Mr. Darcy. I hope that you are, too?”

He replied, “I am well. Thank you for asking.”

Mr. Bingley moved closer to Jane, and stammered, “Good evening, Miss Bennet.” He looked abashed, yet delighted to see Jane. After only a few seconds he collected himself enough to add, “And Miss Elizabeth, it is indeed a pleasure to see you all again!”

Elizabeth was spared the necessity of an immediate reply as her younger sisters pushed past, Lydia yelling, “Wickham! You promised to sit with me!”

Jane called, “Lydia! Kitty! Please behave!” and followed them. She murmured, “Please excuse me,” to the gentlemen and moved away.

Seeing that this left Elizabeth standing with Mr. Darcy and his friend, Mrs. Bennet claimed Mr. Bingley’s attention, saying, “You have been missed Mr. Bingley! You must tell me and my sister Phillips all that you have been doing all this time.” Bingley reluctantly followed Mrs. Bennet back to Mrs. Phillips' side.

Elizabeth let out an audible sigh. Mr. Darcy turned quickly to her and said, “Please extend my apologies to your sister. Bingley was unusually persistent in insisting that he come here tonight. I tried to persuade him that it would be unfair to her to have their first meeting be so public, but he swears that he will never be advised by me again and would not brook opposition to the idea of accompanying me.” Elizabeth noted that Darcy’s tone turned a bit wry as he finished this speech.

She replied, “Well, I did express hope that Mr. Bingley might begin to think for himself, did I not? Perhaps this evidence of his 'wisdom' makes me even more inclined to forgive your former actions!” She laughed awkwardly, adding “Thank you for considering her feelings, Mr. Darcy.” She directed his attention to the other side of the room, where Mrs. Bennet had managed to draw Jane and Bingley into conversation together again.

Softly, he replied, “If I may receive your forgiveness then I will be inclined to bear with all manner of foolishness.” His whispered tone caused her to shiver with pleasure.

She smiled brightly and noted, “Then we are both fortunate. Hearing of your willingness to endure foolishness will put me more at ease when we must spend time together with some of my family.”

She glanced around the room. Kitty and Lydia continued to flirt shamelessly with officers. Her eyes grew wide when she thought she saw one of her uncle’s clerks holding Mary’s hand, but when she looked again he was not. Mary met Elizabeth’s gaze with a look that somehow reminded her of Darcy’s cousin Anne when they’d last met. She shook her head uneasily to rid it of that thought.

Darcy leaned forward and whispered urgently, “Please do not distress yourself, dearest Elizabeth. I hope that we have both learned that we may trust the other not to look for the worst in those we must call family.” She started at his use of her Christian name. He said, “Please forgive me, Miss Bennet. I did not mean to be presumptuous.”

She smiled faintly and confessed plainly, “You are only presumptuous if you think I did not like to hear you speak to me with such honest fondness.” Again she felt the force of the attraction she’d come to feel for him.

He stared at her and breathed, “I hope you recognize my feelings for more than fondness.” Her coy smile left him breathless.

Mr. Bingley came up to them then. He said, “Miss Elizabeth! How are you? You look well.” He stopped and looked at the two as though he realized he’d blundered into a private moment.

Elizabeth responded, “I am well, thank you, Mr. Bingley. And you and your family? I hope that you are all well.”

Mr. Bingley nodded, saying, “My sisters visit family in the north at the moment. I have been attending to business in London.”

Elizabeth smiled slightly and said, “We were sorry that your business kept you from Netherfield.”

He looked hopeful at her words. “I have missed being here, thank you. I don’t believe that I’ve ever been happier than the months I last spent here.” He looked around; obviously following Jane’s every move.

Elizabeth found she could not resent him. The most she could find him culpable of was over-reliance on his friend and sisters. And she hoped that perhaps Darcy’s revelation would help Mr. Bingley to mature. She said, “Well, we are all surprised to find you here this evening. Mr. Darcy had not mentioned that you had any intention of returning today, nor had there been word that you had ordered Netherfield opened.”

Mr. Bingley laughed, “I confess that my housekeeper was caught unawares! But as it is just me, and now Darcy since I’ve convinced him he must stay with me and not at any inn while calling here, it will not take long for the staff to make all to rights.” He shrugged and admitted, “I’ve always been a creature of impulse. I suppose that my people must learn to accept that.”

Elizabeth smiled, “I am sure that you are correct. If you have no intention of altering your impulsive habits, then those around you will have to learn to expect the unexpected from you.”

Mr. Darcy finally joined in, “Or perhaps you might follow Miss Elizabeth’s suggestion and check your impulsiveness, Bingley?”

Mr. Bingley bowed to Elizabeth and said, “I will always consider Miss Elizabeth’s excellent advice.” He glared slightly at Darcy. Darcy met the glare evenly, with the mien of one who has apologized and knows himself somewhat forgiven.

Elizabeth felt that next to her Mr. Darcy moved away slightly as though he’d sighted someone with whom he wished to speak. She asked, “Mr. Darcy, is there something I can do for you?”

He looked at her, his expression one of determination. “I must ask you to excuse me for a moment, Miss Elizabeth. Bingley? Would you introduce me to Colonel Forster? I wish to make an appointment regarding an important matter.” He looked again at Elizabeth as if appealing for her understanding.

She nodded and said, “Of course you are excused, Mr. Darcy, Mr. Bingley.” And she moved away from them, towards Jane.

On her way she was stopped by Lieutenant Wickham. He said, “Good evening, Miss Elizabeth! How are you this evening?” He bowed to her and she politely curtsied. From the corner of her eye she could see Darcy stop in mid-bow to Colonel Forster as he watched her and Wickham. She was very conscious that he observed her interaction with Wickham.

She murmured, “I am well, thank you, sir.” She attempted to move away, but Mr. Wickham followed. He stood more closely to her than she liked. From the stormy look she saw on Mr. Darcy’s face she thought that he felt much the same.

Mr. Wickham said, “Well, you are one lady whose company I shall miss when we are sent to Brighton! I have heard that Darcy is courting you. I offer both congratulations and condolences!” He laughed as he leaned conspiratorially closer and whispered, “I suppose you leave me so quickly now to avoid jeopardizing your status with him, though you and I have always been good friends.”

She resented the presumptive intimacy of his whisperings. Her look to him was cool as she stepped back.

He looked at her with raised eyebrows, “Oh, ho! Miss Elizabeth, have I displeased you? Has your time together so improved your opinion of him? Dare I to hope that he has improved in essentials?”

Elizabeth smiled with a trace of mockery. “I believe that Mr. Darcy is much the same as he ever was. But, yes, I would say that on knowing him better I like him better. He is a truly good man.”

Mr. Wickham looked surprised. Mrs. Forster called to him. He bowed to Elizabeth and said, “Well, then I offer wishes for your happiness. It has always pained me to think ill of him. Perhaps you will bring out the best in him.” He smiled and leaned over to kiss her hand. She pulled it back as quickly as possible, now repulsed by him. He followed her gaze to Darcy, prepared to mock that man, and saw that Darcy spoke to his commanding officer. Concern plain in his features, Wickham forgot even to take his leave as he walked away from Elizabeth.

After having spoken to Colonel Forster, Mr. Darcy returned to Elizabeth’s side. She noted that his color was high. He fairly simmered with jealous anger. She found his apparent protectiveness attractive.

She spoke quietly to reassure him, “I was glad for the chance to let Mr. Wickham know that I no longer will listen to lies of you.” She laughed at herself, “If there were any justice he would have had to bear cutting remarks from me on your behalf while trying to graciously stand up with me at a ball like you had to do previously.” She shook her head. “Do you know how embarrassed I am by that memory?”

Mr. Darcy closed his eyes briefly, then looked at her and said, “As I’ve said before, he is practiced in the art of deception. I am heartily glad to hear that you no longer give him the credit you once did.”

She smiled and said, “Fear not, Mr. Darcy. I prefer to remember the past only as it pleases me. Once I have learned from a mistake I see no reason to dwell on it.”

He haltingly managed to say, “I shall attempt to follow your example and only remember that you were a vision of loveliness that night, and that I found the sparkling of your eyes as you upbraided me to be remarkably enchanting.”

Elizabeth smiled and raised her eyebrows even as she blushed. She remarked lightly, “Oh, Mr. Darcy! I fear you will tire of me now that I have no desire to upbraid you.”

He shook his head and said, “That is not possible.” His look was intense. She smiled, finding that she could only meet his gaze briefly.

Jane came to Elizabeth’s side and said, “May I join you, Lizzy?” Elizabeth gave her sister a hug and said, “Of course! Mr. Darcy and I were just talking of changes in the neighborhood since he was last here.” She was pleased by the small smile he gave her. After a few moments, he excused himself and moved to speak with her father. Elizabeth watched their exchange over Jane’s shoulder. She was interested to see her father’s demeanor change to become more serious as he looked over to where his youngest daughter stood, laughing with some of the officers.

During the carriage ride home Mr. Bennet remarked, “Tonight your Mr. Darcy had quite a different tale to share of his friendship with Mr. Wickham than that we’ve heard previously, Elizabeth. I’m inclined to follow his suggestion and not welcome that man into my home anymore. Happily, the army is saving me from going to any trouble in the matter by whisking him off to Brighton along with the rest of the regiment.” He laughed, but Elizabeth did not join in.

Part X

Posted on Tuesday, 6 December 2005,

Early the next morning, Mrs. Bennet came running through the upstairs hall of Longbourn, shouting, “Oh, Jane! He is come! He is come! Mr. Bingley is here for you, my dear girl!” She fairly pulled the maid away from Elizabeth saying, “Oh, Jane! You’re not even half dressed. What shall we do?!?”

Jane said calmly, “Let Kitty and Lydia go down. They are further along than the rest of us.”

Mrs. Bennet wailed, “What have they to do with it? You must get ready!”

A short time later, all of the Bennet girls joined their mother and Mr. Bingley in the drawing room. Mrs. Bennet contrived to remove all save Jane from Mr. Bingley’s presence with as much alacrity as possible. All were curious when Lydia was called to their father’s library, a rare occurrence. Elizabeth resisted her mother’s efforts to force Jane to see him alone as long as she could, but was eventually made to leave, too.

When she returned a short time later, she stopped, stammered and closed the door again, for she interrupted an intensely private moment. In the instant before she pulled back from the room Elizabeth had seen that Jane’s arms were wrapped about Mr. Bingley’s neck and his were about her waist. He was kissing her neck where it met her shoulder. Jane’s head was thrown back and eyes closed as an expression of bliss covered her face.

Elizabeth stood in the hallway before the closed door, reeling. It seemed to her in that moment that everyone around her was caught up in something that was missing from her life. From what she’d seen she knew without a doubt that Jane must have accepted Mr. Bingley’s proposal. Jane would soon leave Longbourn and begin what promised to be a happy marriage.

Elizabeth’s thoughts turned to her own feelings. She thought for a moment what it might be like to be kissed and held, how she would have to reach up to put her arms about Fitzwilliam Darcy’s neck. He had called her ‘dearest Elizabeth’ and spoken of her as a ‘vision of loveliness.’ He had spoken of feeling more than fondness for her. And as she stood there she desired him. She wanted to be his wife. She wanted to experience closeness of both mind and body with him.

A moment later Mr. Bingley opened the door, excused himself to her with a self-conscious grin and went to find Mr. Bennet. Elizabeth, lost in her thoughts, could not look at him; but when he passed she tentatively stepped into the drawing room. On seeing Jane’s radiant smile, Elizabeth offered her congratulations. Laughing and crying all at once, Jane said, “Oh, Lizzy! I’m so happy! Can you believe it? He has loved me all this time. He only stayed away because he feared I did not love him!”

At that moment, a door slammed open. Lydia ran from the library, pushing past a startled Mr. Bingley and wailing, “Noooooo! I will not stay here. I want to go to Brighton! I want to go to Brighton! Mama, make Papa change his mind. He has said that I may not go to Brighton, after all!” She looked into the drawing room and saw that Mrs. Bennet was not there. Then she screamed at Elizabeth, “And it’s your fault, Lizzy! Why did you have to bring that Mr. Darcy here? He’s ruined my fun, made Papa think that I shouldn’t go to Brighton! Mama!” Lydia turned and ran up the stairs, wailing all the way.

Down the hall, Mr. Bennet peered out the doorway of his library. He saw Mr. Bingley standing there gaping at him and said, “Well? Are you coming in to ask my permission or not?” Wide-eyed, Mr. Bingley nodded and followed Mr. Bennet into his library and closed the door behind him.

Jane looked mortified. Elizabeth said, “Well, Jane. Mr. Bingley has impressed me. Despite such vivid proof of our family’s shortcomings he persists in his desire to join it!” She hugged her sister and laughed.

Though they would often hear Lydia and Mrs. Bennet protesting Mr. Bennet’s decree that Lydia should not go to Brighton, the others had a joyful time together the rest of the morning. As he left, Bingley turned to Elizabeth and said, “My friend asked me to give his apologies for not calling this morning. He had important business in Meryton.” Elizabeth nodded her understanding.

After he was gone, Mr. Bennet kissed Jane’s forehead and noted, “You’re a good girl, Jane, and he’s fortunate to have you. I do believe that the two of you can do well together. However, you’re both so complying and trusting that every servant will cheat you and I daresay you will always exceed your income.”

Mrs. Bennet laughed, “Exceed their income! He has five thousand a year! Only Lizzy will live more grandly than dear Jane.” She hugged Jane and then Elizabeth, laughing and crying all the while.

Lydia pouted, “And I have nothing to look forward to! How could you say that I may not go, Papa?”

Mr. Bennet looked at Lydia briefly and shook his head. “No more, Lydia.” He walked past them all into the house and the sanctity of his library.

Lydia whined, “Mama! You must speak with him and change his mind. Do not let him send that dread refusal letter to the Forsters!”

Mrs. Bennet patted her youngest daughter’s cheek and said, “Don’t fret, my dear. After your sisters are married you’ll have plenty of opportunities. They will introduce you to their husbands’ rich friends.” She turned to Kitty and Mary and said, “You too, girls. Your sisters will see that all of you are advantageously situated with wealthy husbands!” She wept noisily and then murmured under her breath about Lady Lucas and putting on airs. Kitty giggled.

Mary stopped walking and shook her head quickly, alarm plain in her features. She started to speak, but became tongue tied and did not. As was often the case, no one noticed. Her eyes sparkled with unshed tears as the others left her behind.

Lydia stomped her foot and said, “I want no dull friend of Mr. Darcy’s! I want to go to Brighton and dance with all of the officers!”

Kitty urged, “Come, Lydia. Let us go into town and see them now. It will be great fun.” Kitty was in fine spirits now that her younger sister was to be denied pleasures Kitty had yearned for hopelessly.

Lydia nodded and said, “Though I shall cry from the thought that Papa thinks to keep me from them, I would like to go find our friends. Perhaps the Forsters can change Papa’s mind!” With that she ran to get her bonnet and cloak, Kitty trailing behind.

Jane and Elizabeth returned to the house arm in arm. Jane said, “Oh, Lizzy! I do hope that you will be as happy as I am. I hope that Mr. Darcy will propose!” Elizabeth only smiled. Jane gasped, “Oh! Forgive me. I had forgotten his earlier proposal. Do you think he knows that your feelings have changed?”

Elizabeth considered this. She said, “I do not know, Jane. He seems unsure of my regard; though I hope he sees that I now receive his attentions with pleasure.” She thought of how Bingley’s modesty had misled him, and for the first time understood what had kept him away from Jane. And Bingley had not had to face anything like the disappointment she’d dealt Darcy. Her stomach clenched a bit at the thought.

Jane smiled understandingly and said, “Well, he is an intelligent man. While his modesty may prevent his understanding your feelings easily, with time he will learn that you care for him.” She held Elizabeth’s arm more closely, saying, “For I see the way you look when we talk of him, Lizzy. You have always been most conscious of him. Now that you know he loves you and that he is a good man I do think you are falling in love with him.”

Elizabeth smiled demurely and did not deny it.

Part XI

That afternoon Elizabeth worked at her needlepoint and listened without rancor as her mother schemed to turn Bingley and Jane’s engagement to the advantage of her other daughters, Elizabeth first. Mary tried to curb her mother’s enthusiasm and was obvious in her expressions of disapproval. At one point Elizabeth patted her sister on the shoulder reassuringly to communicate that their mother’s exuberance could not endure for long. Mary briefly glanced at her, but said nothing. Mrs. Bennet waxed eloquent in her strategizing. While Elizabeth knew that she would be mortified were Darcy to suspect the lengths to which her mother might go, she accepted that her mother’s fancies were motivated from her particular version of maternal devotion. And, as Elizabeth was discovering a new desire to ensure that Mr. Darcy would feel confident of her regard, she suspected that her mother’s schemes might even be of benefit.

Taking a break from her needlework, Elizabeth decided to go for a walk. As she left the house she met Kitty coming in. She noted that Kitty’s eyes darted away as though she wished to avoid conversation. Elizabeth paused and asked, “Kitty? Wasn’t Lydia with you?” Kitty murmured something Elizabeth could not make out and went up the stairs to her room. Elizabeth shrugged and walked outside.

It was a beautiful day. The wind lightly blew so that the trees all around seemed to sigh. Elizabeth admired the wild flowers as she walked to the top of Oakham Mount in anticipation of the view. She stood up there for some time, simply enjoying the beauty. The day was one of sunny breeziness, near perfection. She smiled when she heard Mr. Darcy say, “Good afternoon, Miss Bennet. I remember you saying that this was an especially fine prospect. You are correct.”

She turned to him and said happily, “I am glad that you are pleased, Mr. Darcy.”

He stopped as he noted her welcoming expression. He continued carefully, “How could I not be?” He drank in her appearance, the rosy hue of her cheeks, the tendrils of her hair that had come loose to frame her lovely face and the way the sun lit her dress to highlight the comely form underneath. He clasped his hands together tightly behind his back.

She turned back away from him and gestured below. “This is my favorite view of Hertfordshire, I believe.”

He murmured, “It is mine, to be sure.”

She turned and smiled slightly at the suspected compliment, saying, “You must come further out here to fully appreciate it.” He moved to stand next to her without reply. She continued to speak, now a bit nervously, while pointing things out, “There I had my first disastrous riding lesson. I am one young lady who most definitely does better on foot.” She laughed.

He said, “Perhaps someday I might have the opportunity to change your mind? I love to ride. It may be that you were not matched to a horse of appropriate temperament or that you were not adequately coached.”

She shrugged and noncommittally said, “Perhaps.” She pointed another way and said, “There I learned to swim. Papa taught me. When I was very young he would also take me fishing. He and Uncle Gardiner both like to fish very much.”

Darcy replied, “As do I.” He started to suggest another future opportunity but worried that he would sound desperate for approbation, so he merely nodded politely.

Elizabeth offered, “Perhaps you could join them some time in the future. You would find my Uncle Gardiner to be a genteel, well-informed man. I am proud to call him and my aunt family. I hope you will have the chance to meet them.”

Darcy looked mildly surprised as he replied, “Then I should like to meet them.”

Elizabeth asked, “Did your business today go well?”

He looked cautious as he replied, “I believe so. I do not like to speak of my personal history, but I thought it best that Mr. Wickham’s commanding officer be put on guard. I hope that he may overcome his past tendencies and make the most of his current situation. Perhaps with firm guidance he will. Colonel Forster seems a good man and officer.”

Elizabeth considered this and said, “You are more kind to Mr. Wickham than I believe he deserves after all he has said of you.”

Darcy grimaced faintly, “That sounds like something Fitzwilliam might say.”

Then, desirous to change the subject, he asked, “And what of Bingley? How went his visit to Longbourn? I’ve not seen him today.”

Elizabeth spoke with feeling, “I shall be glad to call Mr. Bingley brother. He and Jane both seem very happy.” She blushed as she thought of the scene she’d interrupted, and the feelings in her it had provoked.

Darcy could not look at her. He replied stiffly, “I am glad to hear it.” Then he asked, “May I accompany you on your walk home, Miss Bennet?”

She nodded and said, “I would be glad to have your company, Mr. Darcy.”

Elizabeth saw how uncomfortable he seemed on hearing of Bingley’s successful proposal to her sister. The hot blush rose in her cheeks as she felt the discomfort of this reminder that she had refused Darcy. She struggled to think of a way to diffuse it. Looking out at the view, she offered in what she hoped was a teasing tone, “Mr. Darcy, I suspect that you are forgetting to only remember the past as it gives you pleasure!” He looked at her attentively. She continued, “This is a day for joyful celebration.”

He nodded soberly. “Thank you. I should not allow selfish concerns to diminish my joy for my friend; you are correct.”

Elizabeth sighed, “I do not always speak to accuse you, sir.”

He turned suddenly to her and said in a tone unfamiliar to her, “Oh?”

She started to reply and then asked incredulously, “Mr. Darcy? Do you tease me?” He smiled slightly and nodded. She said, “Good for you!”

Darcy said, “Truly, I am happy for my friend and for your sister. He is fortunate to gain her hand. She is sweet, good and lovely.”

Elizabeth teased, “Do be careful, Mr. Darcy. You may arouse my jealousy.”

He looked at her fervently, thoughts of her eyes flashing possessively tantalizing him. “I think that I should like that.” She thought that he looked as though he wanted to kiss her. And she was amazed to find just how much she wished he would.

To distract herself and apologize for the past, she shook her head and said, “No. It would not do to anger me. I am given to saying things I don’t mean, or things I come to regret, when I am angered.” Darcy only nodded in reply. She walked a bit closer and delighted in the sensation as her arm brushed against his. As they walked Elizabeth thought of all that had passed between them. They crossed into Longbourn park. She looked up from her reverie to find Darcy studying her. She asked, “A tuppence for your thoughts?”

He paused and then cleared his throat. He asked, “I wonder if you wish for me to cease this courtship or to continue? I do not want to importune you. And now that all is set to right with Bingley…” He looked at her, yearning plain in his gaze. This time she was certain that he wished to kiss her. She slowly turned towards him. Her heart began to pound more quickly.

At that moment they both heard a cry, “Elizabeth! Oh, Elizabeth!” Jane sounded distraught. She came to them with tears running down her face.

Elizabeth gasped and ran forward, “Whatever is the matter, Jane? What has happened?”

Jane threw herself against Elizabeth, still crying. She choked out between sobs, “It is Lydia. She is gone!”

Elizabeth asked, “Gone? What? What do you mean?”

Jane continued to cry and said, “She has left her family and friends, has eloped with Mr. Wickham.”

Elizabeth gave a small cry and said, “What?! How is that possible?”

Jane said, “Colonel Forster is with Papa. He says that he was making some inquiries regarding Mr. Wickham, had discovered debts he owed local merchants and even rumors of gambling debts. When he sent for Lieutenant Wickham the man was nowhere to be found. Further inquiry showed that he left by post this afternoon and that he did not travel alone. Lydia has gone with him! Kitty has admitted the truth in that. She thought they were going to Gretna Green, but others say they go to London. Papa plans to go after them and will seek Uncle Gardiner’s assistance. But whatever shall they do? How will they find them?”

Elizabeth choked out, “He must have been made desperate.” From the corner of her eye, she saw Darcy start. “But I had no idea of there being such an attraction between him and Lydia. Are you certain that they mean to marry?”

Elizabeth saw how pale Mr. Darcy had become. She felt her power with him sinking and realized how very much that mattered to her now. He looked nearly ill as he said, “If you will excuse me I will speak with your father. Perhaps I may offer assistance.” Without another look at her he bowed and went to the house.

Elizabeth began to sob. She saw Darcy’s step falter briefly, but he did not turn back. She and Jane hugged each other. Jane said, “Mama says that we are all ruined. She says that she fears Mr. Bingley will change his mind and seek to end our engagement. I have tried to reassure her that he is constant, but she will not hear me.” Jane quietly added, “I warn you that she says much the same of your courtship with Mr. Darcy. She says that this will put an end to it.”

Elizabeth looked to where Darcy had gone into the house and nodded miserably. For once she and her mother were in agreement.

Part XII

Mrs. Bennet wailed. Jane patted her shoulder and murmured, “Do not fret, Mama. I am sure that everything will turn out happily. Mr. Wickham and Lydia will marry at Gretna Green and we will have word from them shortly.”

Mary’s eyes were tear-filled. She murmured, “She inflicts the most positive misery in this hallowed circle! Such a lack in one reveals the lack in all. All of our hopes go with her.”

Mrs. Bennet wailed more loudly and cried, “Your father fears he does not mean to marry her. You must persuade Mr. Bingley to stand by us and pay him to marry her, Jane! Else we will all be ruined! Ruined!” She wrung her hands and cried, “Oh, why did he feel he had to flee? Why did your father tell Lydia she could not go to Brighton and take all her hopes of pleasure?”

Mr. Darcy then entered the drawing room, his expression somber. He bowed to the ladies, saying, “Mrs. Bennet, please excuse me. I happened upon Miss Elizabeth while out walking and accompanied her here. I am terribly sorry to hear of your younger daughter’s disappearance. I am sure you do not want my company at this time however, so I will be off.” He bowed to them all. Then, looking at Elizabeth, he said in a low tone, “I am truly sorry.” He turned to leave.

Elizabeth struggled to hold back tears. She moved to follow and said in a forlorn tone, “Will we see you tomorrow, Mr. Darcy?”

He shook his head, eyes lowered as though unable to meet her gaze. “I must to London.”

Jane asked, “When will you return, sir?”

He looked at her, shamefaced, and said, “I do not know.”

After he left them, Mrs. Bennet wailed long and loudly of their great misfortune. Kitty acted petulant that she was blamed for not stopping Lydia. Mary looked too disturbed to even read, sitting with a tome in her lap and staring silently at nothing. Unable to bear the company, Elizabeth went up to her room. She sat by her window in silence. After some time there was a tentative knock at the door. She called, “Come in, Jane.”

Jane quietly entered and came to Elizabeth’s side. She said, “Elizabeth, are you well?”

Elizabeth turned eyes that brimmed with tears to her sister and shook her head. She said, “Oh, Jane! I was such a fool. To think that I liked Mr. Wickham and thought myself so clever in disliking Mr. Darcy!” She shook her head and said, “He could not leave me quickly enough. No decent man will want anything to do with us now. Mama was right. We are ruined.”

Jane said, “Lizzy, I’m sure that you are wrong. Mr. Darcy cares for you. Why should our youngest sister’s marriage change his feelings?”

Elizabeth shuddered, “Even if they do marry… brother-in-law to Wickham? How could that be borne? No! Every feeling must revolt against that connection. Mr. Darcy is a good man, but he is proud. You did not hear how he thought of our family even before he had such proof of our weakness. No, Jane. Mr. Darcy will not renew his addresses to me. By this, I have lost his good opinion forever.” Tears ran down her face.

For several moments, Jane held Elizabeth to her, rocking her gently and soothing her tears. Then Jane asked, “You sound as though you think Mr. Wickham does not mean to marry Lydia. Why?”

Elizabeth wiped her eyes and replied slowly, “She has no fortune.”

Jane said, “But she is not defenseless. She is the particular friend of his commanding officer’s wife. She has a father and uncles.”

Elizabeth privately began to wonder how much Mr. Wickham might also know about Jane’s engagement. And she knew that he had been told of Darcy’s coming to call on her. She wondered how much he might hope to rely on those relationships as a source of funds. The thought left her ill with anxiety for Lydia’s sake.

Part XIII

Posted on Thursday, 8 December 2005

That evening, Darcy called at a London boarding house operated by a Mrs. Younge. She was loath to see him and he had to force his way in the door of her establishment. She professed to know nothing of Mr. Wickham’s whereabouts. Darcy told her he would call the next morning. He felt certain that Wickham would contact her. He left one of his servants there to stand watch and let him know immediately if Wickham and Miss Bennet appeared.

That night in his town home Darcy was full of worry and self-recrimination. He paced before the fire, trying not to remember Elizabeth’s cries. But they rang through him. He also remembered her voice as she noted that Wickham had been made desperate. He knew that she was right. When he’d spoken with Colonel Forster he’d likely allowed his own jealous anger with Wickham to drive him to so vilify the man that he’d ended with little choice other than to flee. And his warning to Mr. Bennet that his youngest daughter might be of more interest to fortune hunters with his eldest girls known to be courted by Bingley and himself… again he was culpable. With fresh disappointment in mind she was more vulnerable to Wickham than ever before.

Mrs. Bennet had spoken true, he thought. If Wickham had not felt the need to flee and Lydia Bennet had not felt the force of disappointed hopes, then the Bennet family would not face ruin. He had thought only to undo past wrongs. Yet, somehow he had blundered into new and worse misdoings.

For a fleeting moment he allowed himself to wish that Elizabeth were by his side, encouraging him to laugh at his dramatic imaginings and telling him that he took too much on himself. But he shook his head, knowing she would never be with him now. How she must hate him! He thought of how he would feel towards someone who was at fault for making Georgiana forever lost to him. He had been devastated to find that Wickham was not at Mrs. Younge’s boarding house this evening. Had he taken Miss Lydia Bennet there then Darcy could have gotten her away before irreparable damage was done to her, as well as to the reputation of her family.

But as the hours passed, so did Miss Lydia Bennet’s hopes of retaining her honor. Darcy knew that Wickham was a lascivious man. The young Miss Bennet was a comely girl. Wickham would have no scruples with his willing companion. That she was sister to the woman he must know that Darcy loved would only make the situation more appealing to Wickham. Darcy knew that Wickham ever fancied himself the injured party where Darcy was concerned. Wickham had lied about their history so often that he’d come to believe his own fabrications.

In the past Darcy had felt pity for his old friend. He’d wistfully recalled the time when he’d felt brotherly love for him. He remembered how much his father had favored young Wickham. And those emotions had led Darcy to be generous and hopeful that Wickham would somehow live up to his earlier potential. Only after Ramsgate had Darcy felt cold anger, near hatred for Wickham. Until now.

His haste to find Wickham and Lydia had even caused him to leave Elizabeth abruptly, unable to offer more than a weak apology. He wished desperately that he could have spoken a more heartfelt goodbye to her in private. Yet he feared to imagine how she might have acted towards him given the circumstances. Again his thoughts turned to what he might say to one culpable for bringing about Georgiana's loss. He thought of how he despised Mrs. Younge. He imagined seeing such hatred for him blazing from Elizabeth's beautiful eyes.

Darcy had a glass of wine in the hope that it might help him relax. It did not touch him. His hopes with Elizabeth were ruined. If he did not act, then his friend Bingley would suffer public humiliation along with his new family. Wickham’s latest infamy affected Darcy and those he loved on many levels.

He went through his correspondence. He read over some of the letters from his Aunt Catherine and only grew more angry. She still insisted that he marry his cousin. She reviled his suit to Elizabeth in the strongest terms. He threw one of her missives into the fire and watched it burn to ash.

The next day he returned to Mrs. Younge’s establishment. Her demeanor was markedly different. He knew that the game was afoot. She smilingly said, “I cannot tell you what you wish to know, Mr. Darcy. I do wish I could be of assistance. I know the matter is of great import, that it means a lot to you.” She fairly simpered now.

He barely mastered the urge to yell, ‘How much money do you want?’ With loathing in his eyes he instead spoke quietly. “Yes, Mrs. Younge. The honor of a young girl of good family is a matter of great import. I hope that you will be able to tell me what I wish to know very soon.”

She had the grace to flinch at his words, but only a little. She said, “But I cannot tell you now. You will just have to wait.” She walked over and looked out the window. “Perhaps if you come back tomorrow I will be able help you then.” She turned and looked at him, a greedy smile playing about her lips.

He took a small bag of money from his pocket and laid it on the table. Swallowing fury he said, “Thank you for your time and your concern. I hope that tomorrow we will better be able to work together- for the young lady’s sake.”

She nodded and pocketed the bag. “Ah, yes! For the young lady’s sake I hope that tomorrow will be a more profitable day.”

Darcy glared as he bowed and took his leave. He knew that Wickham was making a point. After two nights away from her family there could be no doubt that Lydia Bennet’s honor was compromised. He might have hoped that the excitement and fatigue of traveling had distracted her for one evening, but she undoubtedly lived by different distractions by now. As he was not receiving any visitors, he again roamed the rooms of the town house as if to flee his thoughts.

He remembered the sound of Elizabeth crying. He remembered her expression as she’d described Wickham being made desperate, as she’d blamed him. Then he thought of her refusal of him, their meeting in the grove and her subsequent kindness. He remembered how he’d felt when she’d rashly promised herself to him to save him from his aunt’s machinations how great the temptation had been to pretend she had accepted him. Yet he would never want her as his wife from pity, mere gratitude or any such paltry emotion. He wanted her love.

Before his actions had destroyed her family he’d begun to hope that she might learn to love him. Now he only hoped that someday she might forgive him, might learn not to hate him.

He tried not to dwell on the things that had given him hope; looks from her, the way she’d spoken of liking honest fondness from him, times she’d spoken of regretting her previous behavior to him, when she’d teased about him making her jealous. While he’d been actively pursuing her he’d imagined a thousand instances that her looks to him were altered, and perhaps her feelings, too. He’d felt nearly unbearable temptation to express his feelings, his desires.

But none of that mattered now.

Part XIV

Mr. Bennet was surprised to see the card the Gardiners’ butler handed him. The butler had been instructed that they did not receive visitors. Yet this man had persuaded him to pass along his card to Mr. Bennet.

Mr. Bennet said, “Brother, there is a gentleman here you will want to meet. He is the young man who was calling on Lizzy for a while, Mr. Darcy. Fanny thinks this dreadful business has scared him off. If that is so, then Lizzy is well rid of him. But I must admit that I almost hope she is wrong.”

Mr. Gardiner stood as Mr. Darcy entered the room. Mr. Bennet went to the same trouble an instant later. Mr. Darcy bowed to Mr. Bennet and greeted him. Mr. Bennet replied bluntly, “Yes, good day to you, sir. What brings you here?”

Darcy asked, “First, would you do me the honor of introducing your companion?”

Mr. Bennet said, “Yes. This is Fanny’s brother, Mr. Edward Gardiner.” He nodded. “Edward, this is Mr. Darcy.”

Mr. Gardiner said, “How do you do? It is a pleasure to meet you.”

Mr. Darcy said, “I am well, sir. Thank you. I apologize for the interruption, but I wanted to relate to you both that I have located Mr. Wickham and Miss Lydia Bennet.”

The two older men stared at him. Mr. Gardiner recovered first, saying, “Praise the Lord! How in the world did you find them? Is she well?”

Mr. Darcy frowned slightly and said, “Yes. She is well. I knew enough of his connections to have some idea of how to trace them once you’d determined that they’d come to London.”

Mr. Bennet found his voice. “Where is my daughter?”

Mr. Darcy replied plainly, “She chooses to remain with Mr. Wickham. I failed to persuade her to leave him and return to her friends.”

Mr. Bennet sat down and put his head in his hands. He murmured, “She is well then, only as silly a girl as you’d ever find.” To the dismay of the others, sobs wracked Mr. Bennet. Before either of them could react, however, he mastered his emotions and sat back, wiping his eyes. “May I see her?”

Mr. Darcy replied gently, “Of course. I have left servants with them and arranged for their marriage later this week.” He paused and swallowed hard. “And I told them to expect to receive a visit from us tomorrow morning. She will then return with us to this house to stay until the wedding, if that is to your satisfaction.”

Mr. Bennet eyed Mr. Darcy with something akin to wonder. “You have arranged it all then.”

Darcy only nodded.

Mr. Gardiner said, “Sir, you have gone to incredible trouble, I fear. We must discuss what we can do to repay you. From what my brother says of the young man, he is not well fixed to marry a girl of little fortune.”

Darcy sighed and said, “I have taken care of the matter. It was my doing and so must the remedy be.”

Mr. Bennet laughed at him, “Oh, no! Mr. Darcy, you cannot persuade me that you pushed Lydia into the coach with that scoundrel. Nor are you to blame for the care I ought to have taken with her upbringing.” He looked rueful.

Darcy said, “I ought to have made his character known when I first met him in the neighborhood, sir. My false pride and distaste for sharing personal matters kept me from disclosing what I knew. Thus, he was able to ingratiate himself with good families such as your own. Then when I finally did act, I did so precipitously and carelessly. I allowed my anger to drive me to blacken his character even more than I ought. As Miss Elizabeth noted, I made him desperate; and at the same time my warning to you, while well meant, left your daughter vulnerable to his schemes.”

Mr. Gardiner offered, “I can scarce believe my ears as the two of you quarrel for the greater share of blame in this matter. Wickham is a scoundrel and Lydia, please pardon me for saying it, threw herself away on him. Neither of you is to blame.” Darcy heard the good sense in Mr. Gardiner’s words though his heart could not fully agree. He looked at Elizabeth’s uncle with respect and liking.

Mr. Bennet said, “But they must marry.” He shook his head in dismay and said raspily, “I ought to have laid aside a healthy sum to bribe worthless young men to marry my girls, but confess I did not.”

Mr. Darcy said, “He has agreed that if you will assure your daughter, by settlement, her equal share of five thousand pounds after the decease of you and your wife; and moreover enter into the engagement of allowing her during your life one hundred pounds per annum, he will marry her.” He tactfully omitted mention of the additional payments he had agreed to and looked down to avoid the shocked gazes of the older gentlemen.

Mr. Bennet was speechless. Mr. Gardiner said, “What of his debts?” Mr. Bennet rose from his chair and began to pace the room in agitation, shaking his head.

Mr. Darcy looked at the two gentlemen and saw that Mr. Gardiner had a steadfast look to him. Mr. Bennet’s agitation was great as he fairly stomped back and forth. Reluctantly, Darcy took several pages from his inside coat pocket. He said, “Here is a list of his creditors in Meryton. I will be glad to make good, but if you insist otherwise I will understand.”

Mr. Bennet laughed shortly. “Is this list complete?” He reached for the papers as Darcy nodded.

Mr. Gardiner asked shrewdly, “And where will they live? How will they live, sir?”

Mr. Darcy sighed and looked at Mr. Gardiner again. The older gentleman noted the fatigue in the younger man’s face. Darcy said, “He has expressed his desire to leave the Militia. I have found him an ensigncy with the regulars in a regiment to the north.” Again he sighed. “He promises, and I hope it true, that among people who know nothing of this business and who have not known them prior, he and his wife will be more prudent. They will each have a character to preserve there, you see.” He could not speak these sentiments with much conviction.

Darcy noted then that Mr. Bennet stared at his right hand. He was unable to fit a glove over the bandage. Uncomfortably, he moved it so that it was not visible. Mr. Bennet said, “This is all done with little trouble to her family, sir, too little trouble, even for my taste. How shall I repay you?”

Darcy shook his head vehemently. “The only thing I ask is that my part in this, which might make some uneasy seen in a mistaken light, be kept between us. You owe me nothing, sir. I maintain that my actions played a part in this situation. I have taken the opportunity to rectify my wrongdoing. That is all.”

A smile played about Mr. Bennet’s lips as he said, “How imperious!”

Darcy blinked in surprise, both at the remark and at the resemblance he saw between Mr. Bennet and his second daughter in that moment. He smiled slightly and said, “If my manner is incorrect, I offer apology. But I will not yield on this, sir. Please believe and accept that.”

As his temper cooled, Mr. Bennet’s natural indolence reclaimed him. With a slightly derisive laugh, he said, “Well, then that is all that there is to it. I thank you.” He looked pointedly at Darcy’s right hand and asked hopefully, “But I must insist that you enlighten me as to how you injured your hand.”

Darcy colored and admitted, “I was not able to keep my temper entirely.” He looked stony as he thought of Wickham’s taunt about how as Darcy could only imagine, the Bennet girls were of passionate temperament. Then he remembered the all-too brief satisfaction he’d gained as his hand had connected with Wickham’s jaw and unfortunately the rogue’s teeth. He smiled grimly.

Mr. Bennet said, “Ah! Very good. Then I’ll thank you again.”

Mr. Gardiner asked, “Mr. Darcy? Will you stay for supper with us? I am sure that my wife would like the chance to meet you.”

Darcy thought of his empty house as he nodded. “Yes. I would like that very much.”

Mr. Bennet joked, “We’ll have to pull out all the stops in order to provide a meal that will be worth even one one-thousandth what we owe this young man!”

Wryly, Darcy replied, “I am all anticipation.”

Mr. Bennet laughed and clapped Darcy on the shoulder. He said, “Yes, yes. And I suppose I shall anticipate seeing you again at Longbourn soon.” Mr. Bennet’s smile faded slightly as he saw the pained and wistful expression on Mr. Darcy’s face. As they heard Mrs. Gardiner approaching, Mr. Bennet spoke more quietly, “Mr. Darcy, you have our gratitude.”

Darcy’s eyes were filled with pain as he said, “I wish I had served… you all… better. Please do not speak of it further.” Then as Mrs. Gardiner was presented, he turned away from Mr. Bennet to respectfully bow and speak to her.

Continued in Next Section