Part 1

Posted on Monday, 28 March 2005

Elizabeth sat on the small, faded chair by the sitting room window, staring out into the yard. The rain blew in sheets against the window, obscuring the landscape of the Hunsford area. She was thinking of Hertfordshire, Jane, and her home. Everything here was cold and harsh. She missed everything about home, but home was the reason she was here.

She folded her hands in her lap and reclined her head against the back of the chair. As she scanned the tackily decorated sitting room, her eyes rested on her husband, Mr. Collins. He was, as usual, rambling on about his new patroness, Lady Catherine de Bourgh. She continued adding the occasional “yes” or “ of course” into the conversation. Not that she minded his attention being away from her, but sometimes his voice was unbearable.

Most of his time was spent visiting Lady Catherine, preparing sermons to impress her, or visiting those that Lady Catherine told him to. At least she could be alone most of the time and dream of home. Home, Longbourn, the reason she was married to Mr. Collins. In order to keep the estate in the family, her mother had demanded that one of the girls marry Mr. Collins. When it had came down to her or Jane, Elizabeth had not been able to force Jane into the marriage, so she had accepted it herself. That was two years ago. Elizabeth sighed. At least at the beginning of their marriage, she had been in the company of the Knightly family, the patrons of Mr. Collins’ former church, very often. But, two months ago, Mr. Collins had accepted a new position under Lady Catherine de Bourgh, a woman Elizabeth could not tolerate. At least now her home, Longbourn, would always be available to her mother and sisters.

Oh, how she missed Longbourn. Her home, a place to run, a place to be free! She had not felt such happiness since her marriage.

“Mr. Collins,” she interrupted, trying to stop the constant praise of Lady Catherine. “Do you hear the rain? Doesn’t it sound almost musical?”

William Collins looked at his wife as though she was crazy. “My dear Elizabeth, what is the sound of rain when compared to a discussion of the many attributes of Rosings Park? Now my dear, just imagine having such fireplaces…” Elizabeth sighed as she once again tuned him out. She hated when he called her “dear” or even “Elizabeth”. She glanced around the small room and repressed the urge to scream. She was tired of staying in a house all the time with only chores to occupy her time. She longed for a ball, even if it meant dancing with her husband. However, he continued singing Lady Catherine’s praises and Elizabeth held her tears and her screams inside.

She excused herself a few moments later and retired to her chamber, her sanctuary from the rest of the world. Thankfully, Mr. Collins rarely wished for her to perform her “wifely duties” and normally left her alone. She often wondered why he had even married her, although she certainly did not mind. She did not enjoy anything about the whole process. She changed into a nightgown and lay down on the bed, burying her face in the pillows where she finally released her built up tears.

Elizabeth awoke the next morning and changed into a simple, yet pretty lilac dress. She arranged her hair in a simple style and headed downstairs to fix Mr. Collins’ breakfast. Just as she was placing it on the table, Mr. Collins walked in and immediately began stuffing his face. She turned around to straighten the counter and felt his eyes on her. As she turned around, she recognized the look, it was the look he had worn as she walked down the aisle, the look he had on their wedding night, and the look he had when he wanted her in his bed. She quickly excused herself as she pushed down the nauseating feeling that arose when she even thought of his touch.

She went back to her chamber and sat in a chair by the window. She knew that she was very attractive, but she also had a mind. She had wanted to share her life, her whole self with someone and those dreams had been shattered the day she became Mrs. Collins. She scolded herself as she felt the tears forming in her eyes. She had chosen this life, now she had to live it. Elizabeth glanced out the window and noticed that the sun was shining brightly. It was almost April and Elizabeth was rejoicing in the warm weather. Beautiful weather seemed to warm her very soul.

Elizabeth twirled around as she walked through the woods surrounding Rosings Park. The sun sparkled on the steam beside her path. The sky was clear and blue, the rain clouds from two weeks before nowhere in sight. Elizabeth watched two small rabbits playing on the other side of the stream.

Suddenly, a noise on the path behind her startled her and she spun around to see the intruder. She held her hand on her heart as it beat rapidly against her chest. “Sir, you should not frighten people like that!”

The man faintly blushed. “I am sorry. I was not expecting to encounter anyone. I do apologize.”

Elizabeth’s breathing had returned to normal, so she smiled at the man. “It is alright. No harm was done.” Her chestnut eyes scanned the man’s body. It was obvious from his fine suit that he was a very rich gentleman. He was tall and very muscular, as she could tell from the fit of his clothing. His hair was a dark brown and it curled attractively around his face. He wore a shy, embarrassed smile on his face and for a moment, Elizabeth felt as though her breath had been knocked out of her. He was quite possibly the most attractive man she had ever seen. The sun shone around him and he seemed to be a ray of sunshine sent to brighten her day.

He smiled that wonderful smile again. “It is good to see you again Miss Bennet. I have often wondered when I would see you again.” Elizabeth struggled to keep her composure as she tried to place this man who knew her name. “I’m terribly sorry sir, but I cannot recall making your acquaintance. Could you tell me when we met?”

“I believe it was a little over two years ago at a ball in London given by Lady Smithson.”

“Oh,” Elizabeth breathed out. “It’s nice to see you again Mr. Darcy. I am sorry I could not place you.”

“It is quite alright. Obviously, I did not make the impression on you that you did on me, Miss Bennet.”

Elizabeth blushed slightly. “Actually it is Mrs. Collins. I was married a few months after the ball in London.”

Mr. Darcy seemed to blanch. “Mr. Collins is your husband?”

“Yes, do you know him?”

“I just came from Rosings Park where my aunt introduced us.”

“Your aunt is Lady Catherine de Bourgh?”

“Yes.”

Somehow during their conversation, Elizabeth and Fitzwilliam had begun to walk and as they made their way back to the parsonage, they began to talk about their lives since they had met. Much too soon for her liking, the parsonage came into view. Mr. Darcy walked her to the gate and kissed her hand as she tried to ignore the fluttering in her stomach.

“Good afternoon Mrs. Collins.”

“Good afternoon Mr. Darcy.”

She made her way inside and walked to the window to watch him walk back to Rosings Park. He turned around and waved once and she waved back. She did not realize how much she had enjoyed having someone to talk to and she did not realize that she hummed while doing her chores that afternoon.

Mr. Collins noticed her good mood when he returned home and imagined himself to be the cause of it. When Elizabeth told him she had met Mr. Darcy on her walk, Mr. Collins only began to praise Lady Catherine, leaving Elizabeth to wish she had never said anything. She focused on her plate and tried to tune Mr. Collins out for the rest of the meal.

Several days later, Elizabeth was in the sitting room finishing a letter to her sister, Mrs. Jane Bingley. The sun was shining through the window and she felt pulled to the outdoors. Just then a Mr. Darcy was announced and he walked in a moment later. This time his breath was caught in his throat, for the morning sun illuminated Elizabeth and she looked enticingly beautiful.

After a few moments of small talk, Mr. Darcy got straight to his point. “Mrs. Collins, would you care to accompany me on a walk on this beautiful day?”

Elizabeth felt almost guilty about accepting his offer because she had been so happy after spending time with him. She momentarily hesitated before answering. “Thank you Mr. Darcy. I would love to accompany you.”

Soon they were on their way, discussing everything from Darcy’s stay with his aunt and cousin, to Elizabeth’s sisters, to their love of books and music. Elizabeth had never felt so comfortable with anyone and it was wonderful to have someone to talk with, someone who cared about what she had to say.

They stopped in a particularly beautiful spot of the forest. Elizabeth glanced around, almost mesmerized. “It’s beautiful here. I feel like I could come here everyday.”

Fitzwilliam smiled. “Good. Now I know I have someone to walk with again.”

“I would like that,” Elizabeth answered.

Suddenly she realized what she had said and how easily she had been talking with him. She had only known him for a week, but it felt as though she had known him her whole life.

“Meet me here on Thursday,” he said.

“Thursday?” she stalled, half-heartedly trying to come up with an excuse.

“Yes, Thursday.”

Unable to come up with anything, she accepted and tried to cover up her awkward feelings.

“Are you this friendly to everyone you meet?”

He chuckled lightly. “No, only those that impress me. I will see you Thursday.”

“Goodbye.”

“Goodbye.”

Elizabeth decided on her way back to the parsonage not to tell Mr. Collins of her outing. He was not the jealous, possessive type, but she was unsure of how he would respond. She did not want to lose her time with Mr. Darcy. It was too precious.

As Elizabeth walked to their meeting place Thursday, she wondered why Mr. Darcy was so interested in her. However, the beauty of her surroundings soon distracted her and occupied her mind until she reached their meeting place. Mr. Darcy stood with his back to her and once again she realized how handsome he was.

Fitzwilliam turned as she approached and smiled at her. “You look more lovely than ever Elizabeth.”

She giggled as he kissed her hand. “You have seen me four times Fitzwilliam. Can you really make such an assessment?” Inside, however, she was floating. She had worn a lovely white dress and taken extra care with her hair.

“I never lie,” he replied as he took her arm. Neither really noticed that they had called each other by their first name. They talked for a while and enjoyed each other’s company. Fitzwilliam cleared his throat after a few moments of companionable silence. “I leave for London on Saturday.”

“Oh,” Elizabeth tried to ignore the sinking feeling in her stomach. “Will I see you again?”

“Do you want to see me again?”

“Yes, well, that is, if you want to see me again. I would like to say goodbye. It is too bad that you have to leave so soon. I feel like I am losing my best friend.”

“Then I will stop by on Saturday morning to say goodbye. I feel privileged to be a good friend of yours and I would not want to disappoint you.” He kissed her hand before continuing. “Do not worry. I am sure I will be back to visit Aunt Catherine before long.”

Fitzwilliam stopped by Saturday morning to say goodbye and as suddenly as he had entered her life, he was gone. The one wonderful thing in her life vanished. She tried to cheer herself up, but even walks lost their appeal without him. She craved the conversation and interaction she had with him.

Slowly, her life returned to normal and only then did she realize how boring and tedious it really was. Even Mr. Collins noticed a change in her. He thought that she had been becoming happier, but then her mood had darkened. She did everything she had always done, but something was missing. Elizabeth just did not want to admit to herself what it was.

Part 2

Posted on Tuesday, 29 March 2005

One bright day in early June brought a wonderful surprise. Fitzwilliam Darcy was unexpectedly announced one afternoon.

“I just could not stay away,” he joked as he sat down.

“How was London? How was your trip? How long are you staying?”

“Calm down, Elizabeth. One question at a time,” he laughed.

They spent the rest of the afternoon in friendly conversation before Fitzwilliam had to leave for Rosings Park. “After all, we both know how horrendous it would be if I was not punctual for Lady Catherine.”

For the next two weeks, Elizabeth and Fitzwilliam met for a walk almost everyday. He brightened her dull life and even though she did not realize it, she brightened his.

Occasionally, she mentioned to her husband that she had met Mr. Darcy on her walk. He only used that as an opening to praise Lady Catherine. Elizabeth knew she was being dishonest, but she did not feel like she was lying.

Fitzwilliam stopped at the parsonage on the end of his two-week trip. He wanted to say goodbye before he left for Derbyshire. When he entered the sitting room, he was carrying a neatly wrapped package.

As Elizabeth stood to greet him, she looked at the box and questioned him.

“What is that?”

Fitzwilliam grinned. “A symbol of my affection.” Elizabeth giggled. He was always making jokes like that, as if he was in love with her. But, she knew he was just trying to make her smile, especially today when she felt like dissolving into tears.

They sat beside each other on the sofa. “Are you not curious about what I brought?”

Just then a strange noise came from the box. Elizabeth scooted a little away from him and they both laughed.

Fitzwilliam slid the box closer to her. “Go on. Open it.”

Elizabeth cautiously undid the bow and glanced inside. She gasped as she saw what it was.

“Oh my,” she exclaimed. She looked at Fitzwilliam as she lifted the tiny puppy from its box. “It is beautiful,” she whispered as she caressed its tiny head. After she had nuzzled it against her, she held it back so she could look at it. Its fur was black and brown and its little ears pointed upward. Two dark eyes smiled up at her and a tiny pink tongue reached out to lick her face. “A puppy? It’s precious.” Her voice cracked as her eyes filled with tears.

“Yes, a terrier from Yorkshire. I thought you could use some company while I was gone,” he answered while smiling kindly at her. “Do you like her?” he asked as Elizabeth rubbed the puppy’s belly. She glanced up at him and eagerly nodded her head.

“I think the two of you will become good friends,” he observed while sitting the empty box on the floor.

“I think so too,” Elizabeth added while sitting the puppy between them. She walked over to Fitzwilliam and climbed on his lap, where she curled up and lay down her little head.

Elizabeth giggled. “It looks like she is fond of you.”

Fitzwilliam smiled back. “Yes, I guess she is.”

Fitzwilliam stood and handed the puppy to Elizabeth. She stood as well and stared at him, wondering how he could be so kind and generous to her.

Instinctively, she leaned over and kissed him on the check, while adding, “Thank you so much.”

She looked down suddenly in embarrassment, because the look he was sending her made her feel things she knew were not right.

“Well,” she continued, looking down at the puppy, “What should I name her?”

“Anything you wish,” Fitzwilliam answered, appearing to have regained his composure.

“I shall have to consider it very carefully. Names are very important.”

“Yes, it must fit her personality.”

Elizabeth nodded in agreement, while patting the puppy’s head. “She is so beautiful. I can hardly believe she is mine.”

“Well, she is all yours. You must take wonderful care of her while I am gone. I will not be able to check on her, but I promised her that you would be her friend and protect her,” Fitzwilliam joked while dazzling her with his smile.

“I will love her with all I have,” Elizabeth promised. “I will have her named before you return. When do you think that will be, just so I know how long I have.” Elizabeth tried to keep the eagerness for his return out of her voice.

“I really do not know, hopefully within a few months. I want to spend some time with Georgiana.”

Elizabeth stroked the puppy as she answered, “She will have grown by the time you return.”

Fitzwilliam moved toward the door reluctantly while checking his watch. “I really must leave now.”

Elizabeth followed him to the door as a lump rose in her throat and her eyes clouded with tears.

“Smile Elizabeth. I can not bear to see you like this.”

“I’m sorry. It is just that the puppy and I shall miss you.”

Fitzwilliam’s whole face shined as he smiled at her. “I shall return soon. Do not worry. Goodbye Elizabeth.” He kissed her free hand and was gone.

“Goodbye,” Elizabeth whispered. She watched him leave through the window while she kissed the puppy’s head and formulated a plan to explain her precious puppy’s presence to Mr. Collins.

“A puppy?” Mr. Collins asked as he watched it pouncing around the sitting room floor.

“Yes, I found her right outside the gate. I do not know how she got there, but I am going to keep her. I think she is beautiful,” Elizabeth lied with ease and Mr. Collins seemed to accept it.

“As long as it does not interfere with your duties,” he carelessly replied.

“She will not interfere with anything,” Elizabeth replied irritatingly.

“Good night Mr. Collins.” Elizabeth retired to her room and prepared for bed. She placed the puppy beside her and tried to go to sleep.

The next morning, Elizabeth rolled over to see the rain pouring down outside. She shuddered as her thoughts returned to last night. Mr. Collins had entered her chamber and demanded entrance to her bed. He had almost been forceful with her and Elizabeth felt used. Now, she truly believed that he had only married her for her body. The truth had always been there, but she had tried to ignore it. She quickly dressed and petted her puppy, before carrying it downstairs for breakfast and preparing to face her husband.

Over the next month, Elizabeth carried on with her life. She played the part of the dutiful wife and tried to face each day happily. More and more, she became convinced that there was more to life than what she had.

Her only source of happiness was her puppy, Adrienne. She had decided on the French name Adrienne because it meant dark. Adrienne was a very dark colored puppy, but she also brightened Elizabeth’s dark life. Adrienne was her constant companion and Elizabeth even found herself talking to Adrienne often.

The anticipation of seeing Fitzwilliam also helped Elizabeth pass the time. She realized that he was one of the few true friends she had ever had. She wished that he lived at Rosings Park instead of Pemberley, so that she could see him more often. Hopefully he would return soon.

Just as he had promised, Fitzwilliam returned in mid-August, but only stayed for one week. Elizabeth was worried because he seemed very distant during this visit. He only came to see her twice and their walks were very short. Both times, Elizabeth mentioned his mood, but he quickly changed the subject.

After Fitzwilliam said goodbye and left, Elizabeth burst into tears and cradled Adrienne close to her. Fitzwilliam had told her he did not know when he would be able to return. She grew restless as she thought of not even knowing when she would see him again. “Oh, I just wish I could go with him,” she screamed.

The statement seemed to hang in the air and surround her. She wished she could take it back, but now it was said forever. She pushed the thought away because it raised feelings she was not ready to deal with yet.

Over the next month, the more Elizabeth thought about it, the more she realized that she needed to get away for a while. She wrote a letter to her Aunt Gardiner on a mid-September morning asking if she could visit with her for a few weeks in October. She also wrote to her father telling him that she would be in London if her Aunt and Uncle Gardiner accepted her plan and requesting that he come to visit her.

After she was done, she gave Adrienne a kiss and set off for a walk. Without even realizing where she was going, she walked to the place she called “their spot”. After a few moments she heard a noise behind her, so she turned around.

“We must stop this Elizabeth,” he laughed while kissing her hand.

“Oh, Fitzwilliam!”

“Yes, it is I. I can not seem to stay away from you.”

“I thought you were not returning. I guess you were not even going to visit me this time.” Elizabeth was torn between happiness and anger at seeing him.

Fitzwilliam only smiled. “Actually, I am only here to see you. I have no business with Aunt Catherine, but I missed you.”

“Well, why did you act so strange last time? I thought you were angry with me?” Elizabeth glanced down at her feet as she finished.

“I am sorry about that. Please forgive me. I was very distracted because I had a lot on my mind,” he answered sincerely.

“What was wrong?”

“Now is not the time to talk about it. But, know this Elizabeth, you are one of my closest friends. I could not imagine my life without our secret talks,” he whispered.

Elizabeth giggled. “So, you were not angry with me?”

“Goodness no,” he answered, while she accepted his offered arm. They made their way through the woods back to the parsonage.

“So tell me Elizabeth, what have you been doing today besides enjoying nature?”

“I have been writing a letter to my Aunt Gardiner requesting a visit.”

“She lives in London, correct?”

“Yes, she does.”

Talk soon turned to Adrienne and Fitzwilliam asked to see her.

“Of course, she has missed you.”

“Tell me, are her eyes as beautiful and dark as yours?”

Elizabeth smiled as a flirtatious mood overcame her. “Her eyes have darkened, but they still are not like mine.”

Fitzwilliam smiled as he replied, “No one has eyes as beautiful as yours. I have looked.”

Elizabeth giggled. “Oh, Fitzwilliam, you delight in teasing me. What do you mean you have looked?”

“I mean you are unique Elizabeth. I seem to compare everyone to you. It is almost a disease.”

They both laughed as they continued walking.

Part 3

Posted on Wednesday, 30 March 2005

Over the next week, Elizabeth and Fitzwilliam walked together every day in the mild September weather. Fitzwilliam helped her with the travel arrangements of her journey, including her travel by post. He behaved normally again, not like he had on his last visit.

Elizabeth told Mr. Collins her idea of visiting her Aunt and Uncle Gardiner. At first he was only worried about what Lady Catherine would think.

“Well Mr. Collins, think of how important family ties are to her. Why, look at how often her nephew visits her.” This soothed Mr. Collins and he agreed that it was a wonderful idea for her to visit her aunt and uncle.

She wrote the necessary letters informing her Aunt and Uncle and father that she would be arriving at the Gardiner’s home on October 17 by post. Later that week, as she was walking with Fitzwilliam, she could hardly contain her excitement for the visit.

“Thank you so much for helping me. I can hardly believe I get to visit my family. I only wish it was sooner.”

He smiled. “I am sure they are just as excited to see you again.”

They walked along in silence for a few minutes. Elizabeth suddenly noticed Fitzwilliam looking up at the sky. Her eyes followed his and she noticed how dark the clouds were. Fitzwilliam cleared his throat. “I did not notice how dark the sky was today. Oh well, we are not afraid of a little rain, are we Elizabeth?”

“No, I am not afraid, but I should get back to the house if it is going to storm. Adrienne will be scared.” Elizabeth tried to walk faster, but Fitzwilliam held her back.

“We will return in plenty of time. It is probably only a morning shower,” Fitzwilliam said calmingly.

“Oh no, I just felt a drop of rain,” Elizabeth squealed. “I think I did too. I guess I did not predict the weather very well,” Fitzwilliam chuckled.

Suddenly, the sky seemed to burst open as rain poured down upon them. Elizabeth tried to find a place of shelter, but Fitzwilliam was already pulling her towards something. They ran under a large tree with thick foliage that blocked most of the downpour. When they stopped, Elizabeth took several deep breaths to regain her composure, but she truly felt more alive than she had since before her marriage.

“I’m soaked completely,” Elizabeth laughed before adding, “so are you.”

Fitzwilliam glanced at his ruined suit. “I’ll survive.”

Elizabeth shivered. “I hope it does not thunder or Adrienne will be terrified.” Suddenly a streak of lightning flashed and thunder boomed causing Elizabeth to jump while giggling, “Oh no!”

Elizabeth’s hair was soaked, so she pulled the pins out of it and let it fall loosely against her shoulders after wringing it out. She leaned against the tree. “When do you think it will end, Fitzwilliam?”

She turned to look at him while he replied, “You are absolutely beautiful.”

Elizabeth felt her whole body shaking as he drew closer to her. “What...What did you say?” She shivered as he brought his hand to her face and caressed her cheek. Then, he moved his hands down to her shoulder and pressed her gently against the tree, while lowering his lips to hers. Elizabeth knew this was wrong and she raised her hands to push him away, but somehow they found their way into his hair. She felt his hands on her back, pressing her to him. She was almost dizzy from the brand new passionate feelings coursing through her whole body.

Suddenly a clap of thunder sounded and rang through the air. Elizabeth pushed Fitzwilliam away and slapped his cheek. He brought his hand to his cheek, but never broke eye contact with her.

“I have wanted to do that since I first met you,” Fitzwilliam said, breaking the tense silence.

“You… You… You pretended to be my friend?” Elizabeth shouted, trying to distance herself from him.

“I am your friend, but after that, I know I am not the only one who wants more.” Fitzwilliam closed the distance between them and grasped her shoulders. “Is now a good time to tell you I love you?”

Elizabeth breathed out heavily. “Please let me go,” she begged.

“I am sorry that you only wanted friendship, but I want more. How could I not? That is why I was strange during my last visit. I know you noticed my behavior. I was trying to forget you. I have never been in love with another man’s wife before. I have never even been in love before. But, as hard as I tried, I cannot forget you. I knew that I would never completely have you, and that is killing me,” he choked out.

“Please, do not…” Elizabeth cried, as her dreams of friendship scattered like the dust.

Fitzwilliam continued as though he had not even heard her. “I thought I could forget you by not seeing you. I knew that you would never leave your husband, even though you do not love him. So, I decided to take what precious time I could spend with you. I swear I never meant to take advantage of you.” He caressed her cheek as he finished and Elizabeth did not have the strength to stop him.

She looked down at her feet. He was being completely honest with her and she knew he was the best thing that had happened to her in a long time.

She slowly lifted her tear filled eyes to his. “You really love me?” she asked.

“Yes, I love you.”

“Why? Why not someone who can be with you?”

Fitzwilliam took a breath. “I never thought I would meet a woman like you. You are everything I have ever looked for in a woman. You see me as I see myself, not as an estate or ten thousand a year, like all the women of the ton. You see me as the man I am. We are meant for each other Elizabeth, I know it,” he said as he turned her face towards him.

She pulled it away. “Please, do not say that.”

Fitzwilliam pushed his hands against the tree. “I wish I had proposed the night of that ball. I should never have let you leave. Every time you walked to the parsonage, to him, after our walk, I wished I was walking with you back to Pemberley. Would you have married me then if I had asked?

“I cannot answer that Fitzwilliam!”

“What if I asked you now? Who would you pick?”

Elizabeth’s mind swirled, not understanding how deep his feelings were. “A marriage proposal? Fitzwilliam, no!”

“I need to know. I will not bother you again, but I need to know,” he pleaded.

“I do not know,” she cried. “Why are you doing this to me. Please let me go.” Elizabeth buried her head in her hands and Fitzwilliam wrapped his strong arms around her, kissing her head. She simply moved closer into his embrace.

Suddenly, Elizabeth felt a warm feeling within her. All of her feelings for him rushed to the surface and she realized how much she wanted to be with him. Fitzwilliam loved her completely and it felt wonderful to be loved for who she really was. It was all she had ever wanted.

They remained in their embrace and watched the sun slowly begin to emerge from behind the clouds. Elizabeth lifted her head to meet his eyes. “I would choose you,” she said and tried to ignore the delighted look that spread over his face, “but we cannot see each other again. I cannot control myself around you.”

“No, you do not have to be scared,” Fitzwilliam whispered. He pulled her to him and placed gentle kisses on her mouth that Elizabeth returned. She wanted him to never leave. Elizabeth finally tore herself away because her resolve was weakening. “I am so sorry Fitzwilliam, but you must understand. Go home. I am so sorry.” She turned and ran back to the parsonage never seeing the heartbroken look on Fitzwilliam’s face.

Elizabeth collapsed on her bed and cried into her pillows. Adrienne nuzzled her mistress’ arm and licked her face. Elizabeth kissed her head, before a wave of anger surged through her. “How could you do this to me, Fitzwilliam Darcy?” she screamed at her pillow. But, a larger part of her wished that she had left with him.

Over the next few weeks, Fitzwilliam was always on her mind. She longed for his company, his touch, and his kiss. She did not see him again and was certain that he had left Rosings Park.

Soon, her trip to London occupied her mind because she was finalizing her plans. On the evening of October 16, she was rereading her Aunt’s letter. She realized that it read that they would see her on October 18, the day after she was supposed to arrive. Her aunt must have misunderstood her letter. ‘Oh well,’ she thought, ‘I will just be one day early and surprise them. Just as she went to bed that night she remembered something. Fitzwilliam owned a house in London.

The next afternoon, a post carriage pulled up in front of Fitzwilliam Darcy’s London home. Elizabeth’s trunk had been sent ahead a few days earlier to the Gardiner’s, so she stepped down from the carriage with only Adrienne in her arms. She glanced around the neighborhood in awe and made her way up the stairs, praying that he had no other visitors. “Everything is so beautiful,” she whispered.

After being shown in, she asked to see Mr. Darcy, but before the butler could inform her that his master was not taking any calls, Fitzwilliam emerged from some room and his shocked eyes met hers. He hurriedly strolled over, dismissed his butler, and showed her to the sitting room.

It was as grand as she knew it would be. A large window let the wonderful sunlight stream into the room. The furniture was exquisitely made. The whole room was beautifully decorated.

“Do you like it?” he nervously asked as he saw her eyes scanning the room.

“Yes, it is very beautiful,” she answered in a calmer voice than she had expected.

They both sat down and Fitzwilliam took Adrienne from her. “How was your travel?” Fitzwilliam began.

“Very nice, thank you. I am glad to be out of the carriage though. I am glad you are in town.”

They sat in silence for a moment with only Adrienne to listen to. Fitzwilliam caught her eyes and questioned, “Why are you here Elizabeth? I did not think you wanted to see me again?”

Elizabeth gathered all of her courage. “I… I am sorry about that. I made a mistake. I miss you and I want you in my life, I need you in my life.”

Fitzwilliam’s face showed his surprise, but it quickly disappeared. “But only as a friend?”

“No, not just a friend. I know what I want and I am not afraid anymore.” The look on her face expressed her love for him better than any words could have.

Before she knew what was happening, his lips were on hers and it was better than she had remembered. He pulled away and held her gaze. “You are sure that this is what you want. I promised myself I would never take advantage of you.” Elizabeth answered him with a kiss.

After they parted, Fitzwilliam gave her a confused look. “What about your family? What did you tell them?”

Elizabeth blushed slightly. “Well, the travel arrangements were misunderstood. They do not expect me until tomorrow.” Fitzwilliam smiled and resumed his passionate kisses.

Suddenly he stopped and broke away from her. “Bring Adrienne and follow me.” He checked the hall and grabbed her arm, pulling her down the hall and up a back stairway. He took Adrienne and placed her on a bed in one of the guest chambers. “She will be fine here,” he assured Elizabeth.

Then, he suddenly lifted Elizabeth in his arms and carried her to his chamber. He locked the door and carried her to the bed where he sat her down on the edge. Fitzwilliam moved slowly, enjoying every moment and her response. Elizabeth hardly knew what to do or think because of the passionate feelings coursing through her body. She had never felt so much emotion or happiness as she did during those first precious moments with Fitzwilliam.

Fitzwilliam twisted a lock of Elizabeth’s dark, silky hair around his finger. She had been resting beside him for a while, but he wanted to make sure that she was all right. “Elizabeth, are you all right?”

She turned over to face him. “Yes, I am fine. It is only that this is all so hard to believe.”

“You do not regret it, do you?”

“No, not at all. It is just that I do not want to lose you as my best friend.”

Fitzwilliam kissed her hand. “I am still your best friend. We are just closer now.”

Elizabeth smiled. “Yes, I suppose we are.”

Fitzwilliam went to collect Adrienne and Elizabeth found one of his dressing gowns to wear. As she passed by a mirror, she was shocked to see that there was a sparkled in her eye and a glow on her face that had been missing for a long time. She felt happy, like her old self again, and she liked that feeling.

Later, during the night, Fitzwilliam held Elizabeth tightly in his arms. She stirred and blinked her eyes a few times.

“Are you feeling more rested now?”

“Yes,” she smiled sleepily, “yes I am.”

Fitzwilliam kissed her forehead. “I wish I could have taken you somewhere nice tonight.”

Elizabeth smiled. “You know we cannot be seen with each other. Besides, I do not want to share my time with you.”

Fitzwilliam chuckled in response.

“Fitzwilliam, this is ridiculous. Give me my dress. I cannot be late.”

“No. I do not want you to leave,” he laughed.

After several minutes, Elizabeth retrieved her dress and locked herself in his dressing room. Once she had straightened her appearance, she reentered his chamber, but Fitzwilliam was gone. “I hope he is not angry with me,” Elizabeth told Adrienne as she picked her up.

As Elizabeth was preparing to leave, the full impact of what she had done hit her like a ton of bricks. She knew her family would be so disappointed in her, but she did not regret anything.

As she was walking towards the door, Fitzwilliam appeared in the doorway. “When can I see you again?”

“I want to spend some time with my family. I will come back in a few days. I promise.”

They shared one last kiss before she left.

Fitzwilliam had arranged for one of his plainer carriages without the Darcy crest to drop her off at her Aunt and Uncle’s house.

After the carriage had driven off and Elizabeth had composed herself, she knocked on the door, which was opened by her Aunt. Madeline Gardiner gathered Elizabeth in her arms and nearly crushed her in a hug.

“It is wonderful to see you. I have missed you so much.”

“I have missed you too Aunt.”

Elizabeth made her way into the sitting room where her uncle, cousins, and father were waiting. She greeted them all and they exchanged stories. They all adored Adrienne, especially her cousins and could not believe that anyone could abandon such a precious puppy.

Elizabeth soon excused herself, claiming fatigue from her journey. Her aunt informed her before she left that they would be dining with her sister and Mr. Bingley tomorrow night and attending the opera afterwards.

The next afternoon, Elizabeth, her father, and her aunt and uncle arrived at the Bingley’s London home. Elizabeth was ecstatic to see her sister and brother again and could barely contain her excitement. She was even happier when Jane pulled her quickly to the side and informed her that she would be an aunt in around six months.

As they entered the sitting room for tea, Elizabeth was surprised to see two other people there. As the introductions were made, Elizabeth was even more surprised to realize that these people were Colonel Fitzwilliam and Miss Georgiana Darcy, Fitzwilliam’s cousin and sister. She tried to maintain her composure when she learned that Fitzwilliam would be joining them. The Colonel had just brought Georgiana back from a one-week visit with her aunt and uncle. Elizabeth was relieved to hear this news because she was afraid that the girl had been at home when she had been with Fitzwilliam.

Elizabeth enjoyed talking to the two of them because she had heard so much about both of them. She greatly enjoyed their company and found them to be wonderful companions. After the tea was over, Jane suggested that Georgiana take Elizabeth out in the gardens since she was there much more often that her. Georgiana readily agreed, so the two of them made their way outside.

They talked comfortably with one another and Elizabeth was impressed by the young girl’s personality. She was also amused by how much Georgiana praised her brother. The two had just sat down on a bench when they heard someone walking up the path. They both stood to see who it was. Georgiana squealed, “Fitzwilliam!” Her brother kissed her cheek sweetly and bowed to Elizabeth.

“Fitzwilliam, let me introduce you to my new friend, Mrs. Coll…”

“There is no need Georgiana. I made the acquaintance of Mrs. Collins while at Rosings Park with our Aunt Catherine.”

Georgiana smiled towards Elizabeth. “You should have mentioned that you knew my brother.”

Elizabeth smiled sweetly back. “We only met once and it was very brief. It is wonderful to see you again though, Mr. Darcy.” As soon as Georgiana turned her head, Elizabeth glared at Fitzwilliam.

Fitzwilliam turned to his sister. “Georgiana, would you go see if dinner is ready?”

Georgiana obediently nodded and turned up the path towards the house.

As soon as she was out of hearing, Elizabeth turned towards Fitzwilliam, “Why are you here?”

“I was invited by your sister and brother.”

“I do not want to argue, but please do not do anything to cause suspicion.”

Georgiana returned soon and the three of them made their way into the house to enjoy dinner and a night at the opera.

The next morning, Mr. And Mrs. Bingley and Mr. Darcy arrived at the Gardiner house to call on Elizabeth. The four of them enjoyed their talk and shared a wonderful lunch before the others had to leave. As Mr. Darcy was saying goodbye his eyes gave away more than they should have and Elizabeth was sure that her Aunt, who had been coming down the stairs, saw something more than she should have.

Two days later, Elizabeth made her excuses after breakfast and told her Aunt she was going for a walk. She arrived at a park near her Aunt and Uncle’s home and was discreetly picked up by another plain Darcy carriage that took her straight to his house.

She practically ran up the back stairway after coming through the back door she had left from earlier and only slowed down to catch her breath outside of his chamber door.

She slowly opened his door and entered the room quietly, finding Fitzwilliam looking out the window. She slowly walked up behind him and kissed the back of his neck. He turned around and lovingly gathered her in his arms. Elizabeth laughed, “I really do not have long before I have to go back.”

Elizabeth stretched her whole body before collapsing back beside Fitzwilliam.

“You are amazing,” he whispered into her ear as she giggled. “No, you are amazing.”

After a few more minutes, she got up and got dressed.

“I have to go now. I have already been gone far too long.”

Fitzwilliam wrapped his robe around himself and stood up. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Her eyes filled with tears. She hated leaving him. Fitzwilliam pulled her to him and squeezed her tightly so that she would not see the tears forming in his own eyes. Saying goodbye had always been the hardest part.

Elizabeth lay down on her bed that night at her Aunt and Uncle’s house. She could not fall asleep. She missed Fitzwilliam, but she knew she would just have to wait and be patient to see him again.