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Chapter 1
Posted on Wednesday, 6 July 2005
“It is a fair prospect, I suppose.” Darcy surveyed the land with a sharp eye. It was not as beautiful as Derbyshire, he concluded, but there was a hint of wilderness that he liked.
“I think it suits me quite well.”
“Then you might as well lease it, Bingley.”
His friend grinned. His own estate in the country. He nudged his horse with his knees and galloped toward the house, emitting a holler. Darcy followed, leaning into the wind. He was soon ahead of his friend and stood up on his stirrups. With his left hand holding the reins, he pumped the air with his right fist in mock triumph.
From Oakham Mount, a lone woman stood, watching the pair on the field below. They seemed so carefree and full of life. They would make very good neighbors indeed!
Elizabeth was reflecting upon the two riders she observed but a month ago. She knew the one on the brown mare had been Charles Bingley, the current owner of Netherfield, but could the other one possible be Mr. Darcy? It was hardly credible to think the man she saw riding so blithely across the fields was the arrogant and proud Mr. Darcy! Surely, the man she saw on the dark stallion matched Bingley’s amiable personality.
“Well, it would make perfect sense to assume it was another friend and not Mr. Darcy. After all, Bingley is the type of person to have many friends.”
“Lizzy," Jane gently whispered in her ear. “Are you quite alright?”
Elizabeth blushed, realizing she had voiced her musing out loud. “Oh, I'm fine, my dear. Just thinking. That is all.”
“Oh, why there’s Denny!” the youngest Bennet daughter cried. She and sixteen-year-old Kitty crossed the street and waved enthusiastically at the officer.
“What inappropriate behavior! I am horrified that my cousins would act in such a manner. Why if my dear patroness, Lady Catherine de Bourgh, were here-” Mr. Collins began twittering.
Elizabeth rolled her eyes. Despite the lack of decorum exhibited by her younger sisters, she was not willing to suffer through a quarter hour speech by her toady cousin. She linked arms with Jane and pulled her along, leaving Mr. Collins to catch up with them.
“Lizzy! We have left our cousin behind.”
“Exactly, Jane, exactly.”
Captain Denny smiled and nodded politely, though he was actually quite frightened by Lydia. She batted her eyelashes at an alarmingly quick rate. Sometimes, he wondered if perhaps she had an ailment in her eye that made her do so. Of course, he was too much of a gentleman to ask.
“Miss Bennet. Miss Elizabeth. How good it is to see you both,” Denny said with a bow upon perceiving the eldest Bennet sisters. "I was just about to introduce my new friend here.” Denny nodded toward a tall gentleman with a long, slightly hooked nose, sparkling green eyes, and a welcoming grin that became his countenance very well. “Mr. Wickham, these are the Bennet daughters of Longbourn.”
He proceeded to introduce them and Mr. Wickham was all politeness in greeting each and every one of the beauties. He was particularly interested in Lydia. She was in full bloom even in her young age and bubbled over with excitement and silliness. Kitty was of considerably less interest though her large blue eyes were particularly striking. He had a weakness for beautiful eyes. Wickham was told there was a middle child named Mary and nothing more. Next, there was a petite brunette. This one might be worth the trouble of seducing... Elizabeth smiled warmly and received a wink in return. There was something about her that Wickham delighted in, though she was not significantly prettier than the first sister he met. The last one, Jane, was a classic beauty, an angel with cool blue eyes and blond hair swept up. He did not like her at all.
“Cousins! Cousins!” A breathless Mr. Collins reached the group and Jane was obligated to introduce him.
After several minutes of conversation in which Lydia found herself quite neglected, she interrupted them by saying loudly, “It is a shame that you are not an officer, Mr. Wickham. You would look very handsome in a red coat.”
Wickham had the courtesy to blush before saying, “Well, Miss Lydia, I am happy to tell you that I shall be joining the militia here in Meryton. You shall see me in a red coat after all.”
“La! How wonderful!” Lydia then commenced to invite the pair to her Aunt Philip's home for a gathering that night.
Elizabeth wanted to pull her youngest sister aside and scold her for her highly improper behavior, but at that moment, Bingley arrived, riding on his brown mare. He greeted the Bennets and their cousin before looking earnestly at Jane.
“And your family, are they well?” he inquired.
“They are in the best of health. And what of your family? And Mr. Darcy?” Jane replied politely.
Out of the corner of her eye, Elizabeth saw Mr. Wickham flinch. His countenance had become quite pale and he was squinting at Bingley, as though he were trying to remember him.
Chapter 2
Later that evening, Elizabeth found herself sitting with Mr. Wickham. He charmed her with his conversation; yet, she desperately sought the reason for his reaction earlier that day. To her surprise, he brought up the subject foremost on her mind.
“Has Mr. Bingley been in town long?”
“For about a month. He has let Netherfield, which is a few miles from Meryton. Do you know him?”
“Yes and no,” he answered slowly.
“I apologize, sir. I do not follow.”
“I know of Mr. Bingley but I have not had the pleasure of his acquaintance.”
“Oh, tis a shame. He is a very amiable man,” Elizabeth said sincerely.
“So, I have heard," Mr. Wickham replied. He looked about him to see if anyone was attending their conversation. When he saw that most of the room’s occupants were consumed by the lottery tickets, he leaned forward and asked with caution, “Tell me, is Mr. Darcy in Hertfordshire as well?”
“Indeed he is.”
“Is he...is he well-liked in this area?”
“I would say not,” Elizabeth replied, warming to one of her favorite subjects.
“That does not surprise me,” he retorted, sitting back.
Elizabeth inclined her head, encouraging him to continue. She delighted in speaking about Mr. Darcy’s proud demeanor and was disappointed that her two closest confidantes, Jane and Charlotte, did not share her sentiment on the matter. She smirked, thinking it would be a fine thing to laugh at Darcy’s arrogance with such a handsome officer as Mr. Wickham.
“I have known Darcy my entire life,” Wickham said quietly. “The late Mr. Darcy was my godfather.”
Elizabeth's eyes widen in astonishment. Wickham, realizing that he had captured her attention, leaned forward again and launched into his story. “My father and old Mr. Darcy were great friends. In fact, my father was the steward of the Darcy family estate, Pemberley, until he died several years past. It was their hope that their sons would be friends as well and though, from early on, we were playmates, there was always this undercurrent... You have to understand, Miss Bennet, old Mr. Darcy always held me in the highest esteem, probably more than he should have, and it caused his son to become quite jealous of me. We...” Wickham paused and looked at Elizabeth apologetically. “Miss Bennet, I forget myself. You would not be interested in my story. Anyway, I have too much respect for my godfather to say such things about his son.”
“Oh, Mr. Wickham,” Elizabeth replied sympathetically. Her composure remained intact though her mind was racing, wanting to know more, wanting to understand the connection between this handsome officer and that arrogant snob.
I have her where I want her. Wickham smiled softly and continued, as though he were reflecting upon a childhood memory. “After my father died, it was Mr. Darcy who took care of me, who provided for me. He even went so far as to pay my way through school. He thought it proper that I be educated. But that is a story for another time. I would not want to get into the mess with the will.”
“The will?” Elizabeth asked in all curiosity.
“Yes, the will,” he sighed. “Apparently Mr. Darcy left me a living and his son refused to honor his father's dying wish. I suspect, old Mr. Darcy loved me like a son and Will could not deal with that. We were always in competition, but it was not the inheritance that bothered me. You see that I am doing just fine without it.” He spread his arms wide, palms up, indicating that he was very much in good health and good spirits.
“I think it is very noble of you not to begrudge Mr. Darcy. Especially since he is the one who has cost you what is rightfully yours,” Elizabeth said with feeling. Her anger towards Mr. Darcy could not be properly put into words. She recalled with full force how he stood about at the Meryton Assembly, disdaining their country roots and refusing to dance with anyone outside his fashionable London party. She had thought him above his company but to find that he was dishonorable as well! She shook her head, trying to focus on Wickham’s words.
“Money is no matter to me. It is...” Wickham looked towards the ceiling, trying not to laugh. He finally choked out, “It is almost too much to speak of it.”
Elizabeth moved closer. “Oh, what other awful thing could this man have done?”
“It is not my place to say, Miss Bennet. But...I do feel that it is my place to warn you. Mr. Darcy is a blackguard,” Wickham declared, his eyes and lips hard. “He has sullied...”
Elizabeth was on the edge of her seat. She was about to fall off when he stopped. She looked around in surprise and noticed that Mr. Collins was passing.
“Your cousin has much high praise for Lady Catherine de Bourgh.”
“So he does,” Elizabeth murmured with a slight roll of her eyes.
“Did you know she is Mr. Darcy's aunt?”
“No, I did not,” Elizabeth replied, surprised by the coincidence.
“Her daughter, Lady Anne, and he have been betrothed since their infancy.”
Poor Caroline! Elizabeth almost snorted before composing herself and asking, “What sort of girl is she?”
“A frail thing really. She might have been handsome like the rest of the Fitzwilliams if she were not ill so often. Horrible temper, just like her mother. And quite condescending.”
“Mr. Darcy and Lady Anne seem perfect for each another then,” she said with no small amount of triumph in her voice. He shall get what he deserves after all!
“Miss Bennet, you and I are of similar minds,” Wickham said with a grin. “Poor thing. She does not know what she is in for.” He shook his head sadly. “I trust you, Elizabeth. I want you to know the truth about Mr. Darcy.”
He reached over and placed his hand over hers. Elizabeth blushed and broke eye contact. The sensation of his warm hand over hers was overwhelming. Coupled with the use of her given name, Elizabeth was too flustered to think very much about the indelicacy of the situation. She felt flattered that he would share such intimate information with her and wondered idly what made her more than ‘tolerable’ to a man so engaging in his manners and so compassionate in his mien.
“Please do not think less of me for revealing this secret…there was this girl.” Wickham paused, inhaling slowly. “She was the most beautiful creature in the world.”
Elizabeth smiled wanly at this. The feeling of Wickham’s hand on hers diminished in its initial power but she squeezed it lightly nonetheless.
“You must think me a pathetic, love-sick imbecile!” he said with a short laugh. “But, you see...there was something in her eyes that always made my heart ache. Perhaps it is true what they say, the eyes are the windows to our souls. Perhaps, not. But, Winter...she had the most exquisite pair. They were a stormy blue, framed by these long thick lashes. I used to swear that I could drown in them.”
“You sound like you were very much in love with her.”
“And I was.”
“Might I...” Elizabeth did not know what to say. His story sounded quite personal and she felt it was not proper for her to inquire. Yet, the curiosity was swiftly cutting through her with each passing moment.
“You are probably wondering what this is all about. How Winter plays a part in the rift between Darcy and I.” Wickham twisted his mouth into a bitter smile. “I was in love with her and she with me. But her father was dying, she had no place to go and I had little to offer. Darcy knew I loved her, he knew I wanted her as my wife and that is why he did it. That is why he offered his hand to her.”
Elizabeth gasped. Her eyes were riveted to the hand that held hers and she saw nothing of Wickham's expression as he spoke. “She saw through his scheme. I know it. There is no doubt in my mind that she was not fooled by him. I also know that she was quite insulted by it, that she was ready to refuse him and marry me instead. Only...if only, Darcy had not been so determined to hurt me. He threatened her father, he threatened to turn them out. And he had the power to do it. That is why she accepted. She trapped herself in a loveless marriage for the sake of her father.”
“This cannot be! How could he have done this to you? Just because of some childhood jealously!” Elizabeth’s eyes sparkled with rage.
Wickham nodded gravely at her. “I have thought that for many years myself. I never thought it was possible, that someone could be so purely...evil.”
“I never knew Mr. Darcy was married,” Elizabeth commented, not knowing quite how to respond.
“He is not married. He used to be. She died about a year after the wedding. Broken heart, I suppose.”
Placing her other hand on top of Mr. Wickham's, Elizabeth leaned in and stated quite simply, “You are truly a wonderful man who does not deserve such torture. Thank you for telling me your story and for giving me such a warning. I assure you that I shall never be fooled by the likes of Mr. Darcy.”
“Right...” Wickham replied somewhat distractedly as looked down the front of Elizabeth's dress.
Chapter 3
Posted on Sunday, 10 July 2005
“And what is there to see in Hertfordshire, my dear, Mr. Lucas?”
“My family...but you shall keep your distance from my sisters.” William Lucas threatened his friend in jest.
“Do you not want us to be brothers?”
William shook his head. “The way you are with women, Harold? You shall break the hearts of all the Lucas women and the crying will never cease.”
His companion laughed in reply, shifting his luggage on his shoulder. “I suppose I shall have to find other distractions outside Lucas Lodge.”
“Depend upon it, you do not have to look far. The Bennet ladies can keep one very occupied.” A dreamy look crossed William Lucas’s face and it cost Harold all his naval skills to keep from laughing.
“Indeed?” Harold said, lifting his sandy eyebrows in anticipation.
“It has been some years since I have last seen them but trust me, friend, Jane Bennet is the jewel of the county and her sister was quite promising as well.”
“Well, I have seen my share of beautiful women and we shall have to see if this Jane Bennet is all that one makes of her.”
“You will not be disappointed my friend,” Lucas said with a wide smile.
“Was this the girl you used to write poetry to?”
“The one and only but then, I was shipped off. Who knows if she was even affected by it or not.”
Harold looked at his friend. Whether this lady was affected by William Lucas or not, it was clear that William Lucas was affected by her.
“My dear boy!” Lady Lucas greeted her son with a loving hug. She then kissed his cheek for enough moments as to have him blush with embarrassment.
“Mother, please.” Lieutenant Lucas disengaged himself from his mother before introducing his companion to his family.
All of them were quite impressed by Captain Harold. He was not a handsome fellow but he was by no means not pleasant-looking. He was rather tall and thinly built but did not seem to lack in strength. His hair was a mixture of dark yellows and light browns and his straight nose was adorned with freckles.
“It is a real pleasure to have you here, Captain,” Sir Lucas said, shaking his hand enthusiastically and thinking what a great thing this could be for his Charlotte.
“The pleasure is all mine, I assure you,” Harold replied, wary of the glint in his host's eye.
A young Geoffrey Lucas came up to the pair and titled his head back in order to look at this gentleman. “Are you going to save my sister from 'insterhood? That's what Mother says. If no one comes around, then she will be an ole maid!”
Captain Harold did not know how to respond to the boy. He was slightly amused and slightly embarrassed. Sir Lucas looked as though he were suffering from apoplexy, his eye twitching dangerously at his son, and his cheeks puffing in and out like a fish he once saw in tropical waters. Charlotte, whom Harold assumed was the plain, slightly overweight, girl next to Lady Lucas, went quite pale though she still remained marginally composed. Lady Lucas was red in the face and most of the Lucas children were trying hard not to laugh, including the Lieutenant.
“I must say, I am not sure if I will do just that. I had intended to vacation here and not much else,” Harold finally replied.
“Alright,” Geoffrey replied with a shrug. It looked like his sister was destined to be an old maid.
Chapter 4
“Oh, Lizzy, how can you smile like that?” Jane admonished, making a very valiant effort not to smile herself.
“I know it is awful, Jane, but I cannot help it,” Elizabeth replied before she burst into giggles.
“She must have been so humiliated.”
Elizabeth acknowledged this but she could not abate her laughter. “All those emotions and thoughts that must have occurred when Geoffrey said that! I wonder what went through each person's mind.”
“Why must marriage be such an issue as it is?” Jane sighed, her tone carrying a slight melancholy that her sister could not miss.
Elizabeth instantly sobered. “Oh Jane, are you worried about William Lucas?”
Jane placed her hands on her lap and looked evenly at her sister. “I am worried about a lot of things, Lizzy. Yes, I am worried that Lieutenant Lucas may still harbor feelings for me and what will occur when we finally meet again. But I am also worried about how I shall act around Mr. Bingley and whether he shall ask me for the first two dances or not. And I am worried about the way our family will behave during the ball. What if they make a spectacle of themselves?” she asked, her eyes closing momentarily in frustration. “But most of all, I am worried about the way you have taken Mr. Wickham's word for truth when you know nothing of this man except what he has told you.”
“Well,” Elizabeth breathed. “You are worried about a lot of things, my love.”
“Lizzy...”
“Don’t you fret about William Lucas, my dear. It has been five years! A lot has happened since then and hopefully, he has improved upon his poetry writing.” The sisters laughed at this while Elizabeth continued, “You have already charmed Mr. Bingley so just smile and enjoy yourself. He will be too busy with you to notice our family and I will be there to help if required. As for Mr. Wickham, Jane...there was truth in his looks.”
“There must have been a misunderstanding between him and Mr. Darcy.”
“A misunderstanding like that is hardly possible.”
“You have not even allowed Mr. Darcy to explain himself.”
“What is there to explain? He would deny it all anyway,” she replied with conviction.
“JANE! JANE!” Mrs. Bennet's voice pierced through the house. “Four hours till the ball is to begin! Have you begun yet?”
The sisters beheld their mother climbing the stairs at a hurried pace.
“Four hours, Jane. We must get you ready,” Elizabeth said with a smile.
“If it takes me four hours to prepare for a ball, Lizzy, I must look quite a fright.”
“Miss Bingley must begin a week in an advance then.”
“Lizzy!” her sister admonished but this time, she could not help but smile.
Chapter 5
“Do you not find this company tiresome?” Caroline Bingley hissed into Darcy's ear, her black feathers flapping above her head.
“Indeed,” he replied through clenched teeth. Yourself included, madam. He eyed the feathers momentarily, idly wondering how the ton could consider a poor bird’s tail fashionable.
“I do not understand how Charles can tolerate these country bumpkins,” she yawned, edging closer to the gentleman, her feathers now hitting him in the face.
I do not understand how he can tolerate YOU, Miss Bingley. Darcy was gritting his teeth now. He pushed himself against the wall, trying to avoid Caroline’s headdress.
“And that one over there,” she sneered, her gaze focused on a petite brunette. “I believe you said she was barely tolerable, did you not?”
“I say many things,” Darcy snorted and walked away. He could not deal with her this evening, not when it was so close to...
So preoccupied was Darcy that he paid no mind to what, or who, he was walking into. “Oh, my apologies, Miss Bennet. I did not see you there.”
“No, I am too blame, Mr. Darcy. I was preoccupied.”
Darcy smiled ever so slightly at her response. “Please, do not distress yourself. The fault is entirely my own and I, as a gentleman, take all blame for it.”
“Well, if you so insist,” she said with a curtsey.
“Has Bingley secured you for the first two dances?” he inquired, politely.
“Um, no, he has not.”
Darcy was surprised at her response and even more so by the brief flutter of disappointment that crossed Jane Bennet's face. “Oh, that is quite singular. Who could he be dancing with?” he asked more to himself than of her.
“Julia Long...um, I think.” Jane hoped her discontent was not too evident though she feared it was written all over her.
“Miss Jane!”
Both Jane and Darcy turned at the call. A Naval officer was walking towards them and Mr. Darcy was all astonishment to hear Miss Bennet groan.
“I gather that that gentleman is not a favorite of-“ Darcy cut himself off as this man came within hearing range.
“Miss Jane! It is so good to see you again! You look very well.” Lucas cried enthusiastically, grabbing one of Jane’s white hands and pressing a kiss to it.
Jane blushed at his forwardness under the scrutiny of Mr. Bingley’s good friend. This was not how she imagined her evening would unfold.
“Thank you, Lieutenant Lucas. Mr. Darcy, I would like you to meet the Lucas' eldest son.”
William Lucas looked at the man standing beside Jane. So consumed was he by the sight of Jane, he did not initially notice the gentleman whose very mien screamed wealth and nobility. He was a tall man though not of towering height. He had a strong jaw, straight nose, and slight tan. His eyes were dark though possibly hazel and his hair was straight and near black. Impeccable clothes too, Lucas considered with a raised eyebrow, not wanting to pay too much attention on Darcy’s rather striking features.
“Mr. Darcy, if you will excuse me, I would like to secure Miss Bennet's hand for the first two dances.”
“I am afraid that is not possible.”
“Excuse me?” Lucas managed to choke out.
“I have already been promised those dances that you refer to by Miss Bennet before you arrived.” Darcy offered Jane his arm as the music began. “Shall we, Miss Bennet?”
“Thank you, Mr. Darcy,” Jane mumbled, half-stunned by the entire situation. She took his arm and nodded to an equally shocked Lieutenant Lucas.
“I hope you do not find me presumptuous for offering myself as...” Darcy began as they were out of earshot.
“As a savior?” she offered.
Darcy chuckled lightly. “Well, I would not go so far as that unless he is in fact so troubling to you.”
“No, it is not that.”
Jane and Darcy took their places in the set and so engrossed in their conversation were they that they did not notice the stares that were directed in their direction.
Mrs. Bennet was prepared to fall out of her seat. Mr. Darcy! Mr. Darcy! Why is she standing up with that...oh, ten thousand a year! Possibly more! Good job, my girl!
Bingley, on the other hand, was not so happy about the circumstances. He had not only been manipulated to dance the first two sets with Julia Long but the next two with Penny Long. It's nothing, Bing. C'mon, Darcy knows where your interest lays. He would never...but he despises dancing! Why is he dancing?
Lieutenant Lucas was simply fuming. Who was this man?
Caroline was beet red. What traps did this girl lie to get herself dancing with her Mr. Darcy? To think, I called her a sweet girl! I even pretended to be her friend!
Luckily, Elizabeth was too busy avoiding the clumsy feet of her cousin, Collins, to note this odd arrangement of couples. She simply took for granted that Jane was dancing with Bingley.
“Oh, it is nothing,” Jane was saying.
“Are you certain? By the tone of your voice, it does not sound like nothing,” said Darcy, slightly concerned at the unease that disrupted her usually serene face.
Jane was on the verge of replying, of letting her carefully held angst out, but held herself back as she thought of how improper it would be for her to do so. Could she really find a confidante in Mr. Darcy? At this thought, she laughed.
“May I ask was is so humorous, Miss Bennet?”
“Mr. Darcy, I hope you shall not be offended but could you imagine yourself as my confidante?”
He did not say anything for some moments but finally, he replied gravely, “As a matter of fact, Miss Bennet, I can.” His expression soften as he explained, “You remind me of my sister. I suppose I have inhabited the role of a protective older brother, or as she would say, I am sure, overprotective older brother, for far too long and too well.”
“Oh! How old is she?”
“But sixteen.”
“I suppose, as there are only two of you, that much is shared.”
“Indeed.”
“Has she ever come to you with affairs concerning young men?”
“A few times. I had hoped my wife would be the one to deal with it but...” Darcy paused. He had not mentioned his wife in a long time. He could not comprehend how he had let it slip so suddenly.
They were quiet for a full ten minutes. When they turned towards one another again, Jane looked into Mr. Darcy's eyes, the pain swimming in its dark pools, and stated simply, “I am sorry about your wife.”
“What do you know of it?” Mr. Darcy asked curiously.
“I must say, I have a lot to confess.” The mirth of such a situation caused her mouth to twist in a slight smile.
“I never thought Jane Bennet would have so many secrets,” he replied with arched brows.
Jane laughed heartily at his expression and drew the attention of many, including Elizabeth who gasped at 1) Jane dancing with the hated Mr. Darcy, 2) Jane enjoying herself with the hated Mr. Darcy, and 3) Mr. Collins stomping on her foot.
Bingley, watching the happy couple, ran into his neighbor whom he apologized to in a vague and careless manner. His sister, meanwhile, turned away from the scene in search of Mrs. Hurst and ran into a decorative pillar.
“Do you recall that conversation about poetry you had with my sister?”
Darcy lifted an eyebrow.
“It was the day my mother had come to Netherfield. Lizzy told me that the two of you debated on the merits of poetry, of whether it was the food of love or rather, the force that drives it away.”
“Yes, your mother mentioned that a man once wrote lovely verses for you,” he teased.
Jane blushed at this. “It was five years ago, before William Lucas went off to the Navy.”
“Ahh,” Darcy replied with understanding. “Was there anything between you two?” Darcy bit his lip at his own forwardness. He had not been so open with a woman, other than his sister, for a long time. He had even closed himself off to his other female relations.
But Jane seemed far from offended. She looked intently at his eyes and said, “There had been some feelings expressed on his side, but I had no inclination towards an old family friend. Do you ever...oh, never mind.”
“How shall I become a proper confidante if you are not completely honest and open about all?” Darcy stated in mock horror.
Jane smiled. Lizzy, you are wrong about this man... “Do you remember that first night, when I was ill at Netherfield and you sent me that chicken broth?”
“How did you know it was me?” queried Darcy, increasingly astonished at all the things this quiet woman knew.
“Because the maid expressed her surprise at your request!”
“And I thought the servants could be trusted,” Darcy said with a sniff.
“They were quite impressed with you.”
“And annoyed at bothering them at that unholy hour, I suspect. Anyhow, you were keeping me up with at that dreadful coughing. I was about to sleep in the library if I did not think I would hear you still.”
Jane emitted a giggle at his forlorn response. “I knew, at that moment, you were a friend of mine. Just like I knew the instant I read one of William Lucas' verses that I could not return the feelings he felt for me.”
“And what of your feelings when you first met Mr. Bingley?”
“Mr. Darcy!” Jane blushed profusely.
“Well?” he said challengingly.
“I knew that I would like to know him very well indeed.”
“Fair enough,” Darcy said with a nod. “And my wife? How did you...”
“I am afraid such news would make you rather unhappy.”
“I would rather have the truth,” Darcy replied, feeling a familiar ache rise in his chest.
A troubled look settled on Jane's face and confusion soon enveloped Darcy. She was silent for a few minutes before she spoke again. “Could you trust me in holding this off for a while?”
The dance ended. Darcy nodded and then bowed formally. “Of course, Miss Bennet. I am at your service.” He then escorted her off the dance floor where she was accosted by Lieutenant Lucas. Darcy smiled sympathetically and stationed himself as far away from the dance floor as he could for the rest of the night.
The Glass Swan - Revised Chapters 6-10 Posted on Friday, 15 July 2005
Chapter 6
“Jane certainly charmed a great many men last night!” Mrs. Bennet cried, clapping her hands together in excitement.
Jane suddenly found her breakfast to be of particular interest.
“My dear daughter, I do not believe you have ever looked so intently at eggs before!” Mr. Bennet said with a slight grin.
“Well, it is too often that I eat eggs without giving them a proper inspection. I thought I might as well do it today.”
Mr. Bennet chuckled at her response. Jane rarely displayed her wit in front of her mother and younger sisters. He decided to provoke her further.
“What say you of Mr. Darcy? Do you think you prefer him to Mr. Bingley for he does have advantages that the other lacks...” Mr. Bennet trailed off.
“I am sure Mr. Bingley has advantages that Mr. Darcy lacks,” she replied neutrally.
“Does that mean you prefer Mr. Bingley then?”
“I have stated neither case, Papa. All I have done is present you with a fair argument of both.”
“Well, child, what do you think? To be sure, Mr. Bingley is very nice young man indeed, but compared to Mr. Darcy’s value, he is nothing!” Mrs. Bennet twittered excitedly.
“Is that what you said yesterday before the ball? Your declaration is not remotely familiar but perhaps, I am mistaken.” Jane quickly left her seat, leaving an amused Mr. Bennet and a most stunned entourage of female relatives behind.
Elizabeth came down the stairs two at a time and landed with a solid thud. She had not slept well, thinking of the odd occurrences of last night, including Jane's reluctance to speak of the ball.
“Well, someone slept the morning away!”
“My apologizes, Mother,” Elizabeth replied with a roll of her eyes. “Where is Jane? I would like to speak to her.”
“I cannot quite say. Your sister stormed out of the house in the middle of breakfast. It was quite disturbing!”
Stormed out of the house? Jane? It was hardly credible! Elizabeth turned to her mother in order to protest such a ridiculous statement but found herself face-to-face with the greasy Mr. Collins.
“Ah, Cousin Elizabeth, I see that you have awoken from your beauty sleep. It is apparent to me that you are in need of lots of it!”
“How gracious of you to say that,” Elizabeth replied sardonically.
“Lizzy, my dear girl, Mr. Collins has requested a private audience with you this morning,” Mrs. Bennet said with a smile before she stated very sternly, “So, sit down and listen.”
Elizabeth Bennet had never been so glad to miss breakfast in her twenty years. She did not trust the heaving of her stomach as Mr. Collins knelt before her.
“Mr. Collins, my feelings in every respect forbid it!” Nothing that Elizabeth had said could dissuade her cousin. He believed himself in love with her. And worse, that she welcomed his advances. It made her shudder with disgust.
When Mr. Collins moved to embrace her with his sweaty hands, Elizabeth stormed out. Where was Jane? She climbed the stairs to find her sister's room empty. She made quick work of the climb down and headed outdoors.
Jane was nowhere to be found. She was not in the gardens and Jane would not walk to Oakham Mount without first informing her. Elizabeth turned in every which way, undecided upon her destination. She finally spun around with her eyes closed and when she stopped, she was facing the direction of Lucas Lodge. And there she was to go.
“Ahh, if it is not one of the famed Bennet daughters of Longbourn.”
The approach of Captain Harold made Elizabeth pause and administer a quick curtsey.
“Famed, sir?” she queried as she lifted her head.
“For beauty, madam. For beauty,” Harold said formally though a warm smile soon suffused his face.
“Your words are of no good to my vanity,” she replied with a slight blush.
“Are you accusing me of mere flattery, Miss Bennet?”
“Miss Elizabeth. I am only the second eldest.”
“My apologizes. I hope I have not offended you by complimenting you and then addressing you erroneously.”
Elizabeth found she very much liked the way he smirked at her. She tried to avert her gaze but it was captured most readily by Captain Harold's blue eyes.
“Um, Miss Elizabeth?”
“Yes?” she replied, somewhat dazed.
“Are you here to visit Miss Charlotte?”
“Charlotte? Oh, yes! But, actually, I think I should be returning home,” Elizabeth mumbled before turning abruptly.
“Would you allow me to escort you?” He held out his arm.
She took it with a smile. “But of course.”
Chapter 7
Darcy plucked a rose from its bush. He pulled off the thorns by habit, not really putting much consideration into what he was doing.
He remembered doing this for Winter. He flung the rose to the ground and continued with his morning walk. It was always there, in the back of his mind. His wife, his wife....
He no longer had a wife.
“Mr. Darcy!”
Darcy, startled from his thoughts, looked at the source of this intrusion with considerable malice. Jane Bennet backed up in astonishment. She never saw anyone emanate such strong emotions before.
“Miss Bennet.” He blinked with care and when he opened his eyes, all of the hardness had dissipated.
“My apologies, sir. I did not mean to disturb you.”
“No, Miss Bennet. I was just...thinking..." He offered Jane his arm and they took a casual stroll about the gardens. "And how are you doing this morning?”
“I—am doing well,” she replied, hesitant to lie to him. “And how are you?” she queried.
Darcy smiled feebly in response. He had rather much be alone with his thoughts but he graciously asked about her family.
“Oh…they are getting on well enough, I suppose.”
Darcy, alerted to the disquiet on Jane’s usually serene face by her strained voice, said frankly, “Please interrupt me if you find me presumptuous in making such a comment, but you seem out of sorts. I do not pretend that I am an expert in judging character. In fact, I do believe I am quite horrible at it, but...you do not seem yourself today. In the month that I have been here and have taken morning and evening walks amongst the grounds of Netherfield, I have seen your sister involved in such activity but you never.”
Jane did not reply, surprised at Darcy’s perceptivity or perhaps, her own transparency.
Darcy, fearing he might have offended her, added in hopes of gaining her confidence, “You are not like the women with whom I have become accustomed to in society. As you may recall me telling you the other night, I thought you quite like my sister. Gina is shyer than you are but she has the same tendency to be,” and here he smiled in an arched manner, “sickeningly sweet and always thinking well of others.”
“Sickeningly sweet?” Jane asked with a smile, marveling at the ease with which he teased her.
“What ails you, Miss Bennet?” Darcy inquired with a tenderness that quite unnerved Jane.
“Nothing more than having to deal with my family so early in the morning,” she sighed as they continued on with their walk.
Chapter 8
Both Jane and Elizabeth returned to Longbourn with daydream clouding their eyes. They practically ran into one another on the lane leading up to their home.
Before either of them could say anything, the cries of the household caught their attention.
“What troubles the women of Longbourn this time?” Elizabeth muttered with a roll of her eyes.
“Elizabeth Bennet! This is all your fault!” A crying Lydia screeched when they entered the foyer.
Mrs. Bennet tried to comfort her youngest daughter but it was to no avail. “This is the way it must be, my love. You have to do this for our family! Just think, once your poor father dies, Mr. Collins will-”
“I do not care what that toady Mr. Collins will do to us when Papa dies! I will not marry him!”
Jane gasped while Elizabeth stared at the scene before her. Lydia, to marry Mr. Collins! It was preposterous, even more so than she marrying their awful cousin herself!
“Lydia, enough of this. Mr. Collins has chosen you as his wife and so it will be,” Mr. Bennet said firmly. “Now, be quiet so I can read my book!”
“He chose Lizzy first!” Lydia pointed a trembling finger at her elder sister. “Do you forget so easily Papa? You will not allow your favorite daughter be taken away by Mr. Collins. But Lydia, Lydia whom you have never loved, whom you would never miss, she can have her fate sealed by such an odious man!”
With those words, she ran upstairs. Lizzy shuddered in horror at the fate her youngest sister would have to face but could not bring herself to sacrifice her own person even for her family. She looked at Jane and she knew that even dear sweet Jane could not do the same.
The ale shot out in a great splutter from Denny's mouth.
“What's the matter with you?” Wickham growled, wiping himself distractedly.
“It's Miss Lydia.”
“What about her?” His interest was slightly piqued but not overtly so.
“She's engaged.”
“Oh,” he replied. Well, there are plenty of other girls… He eyed a well-built serving girl over Denny’s shoulder. Like that barmaid…
“To Mr. Collins.”
“What?!” This time Wickham was the one who nearly choked on his ale.
“My thoughts exactly.” Denny looked at the announcements again. “What a shame! I must admit, she was no favorite of mine, but it's not right. A lively girl like that marrying such a fool.”
The news of Lydia's engagement traveled throughout Meryton within hours of its announcement. The officers mourned her lost while matrons breathed a sigh of relief. Most sent the young girl their condolences.
“Miss Lydia Bennet!” Caroline giggled. “Oh, I can barely contain myself.”
“Poor girl,” her sister sighed. She looked at her prostrate husband. Already drunk at ten in the morning. “Poor girl.”
“I think it is such great fun. Such a shame that he could not procure the hand of Miss Eliza Bennet instead.”
Darcy tightened his fists under the table. He was hard pressed in making Caroline Bingley shut that squawking mouth of hers.
“What do you think of it, Mr. Darcy? Do you not find amusement in such news?”
“Not at all, Miss Bingley.” He stood up and bowed. “I am of the same sentiment as Mrs. Hurst. Good day.”
“Darcy!”
“Yes, Bingley?” He swiveled around easily though he had been in mid-stride.
“I am quitting Netherfield.”
Bingley could almost see the wheels pause within Darcy's head. He was silent, contemplative, before he pierced his friend with his dark eyes.
“Do not look at me like that,” Bingley replied uncomfortably.
Darcy blinked at Bingley's blonde curls. “Look at you like what?”
“Oh, never mind.”
“Is this a permanent move?”
“Yes. I believe so.”
“Your lease-“
“Oh, who cares about the lease?! I want to leave,” he declared impatiently.
“If that is your wish,” Darcy replied slowly. “When?”
“By the end of this week, if possible.”
“What about the wedding?”
“And what of the wedding, Darce? I barely know the girl. I have only been in the area for a little over a month. I will never see these people again. What of the wedding?”
Bingley was almost red with frustration. Darcy had rarely ever seen his friend in such a mood. It greatly unsettled him and more so when he thought of Jane Bennet's reaction to their quick departure.
“I would like to stay...for the wedding, if you do not mind.”
“Of course. Of course.” There was a cryptic tone in Bingley's voice as he walked off.
Chapter 9
“You seem rather quiet today, Miss Elizabeth.”
The said lady smiled wanly at Captain Harold. She truly enjoyed his company, even more than Wickham's. Though he was not nearly as handsome as the other officer, he provided her with infinitely better conversation.
“Perhaps, if you would like to share your pains...it may ease the burden.”
“Captain Harold, you are too good,” she replied with a slight laugh. “Oh, do you think my sister will ever forgive me?”
“I shall assume that you believe Miss Lydia shan't be happy as the wife of Mr. Collins.”
“I doubt that anyone could be.”
“It is not very uncommon for people to marry in order to better their circumstances in some way,” Harold reasoned.
“But Lydia has no possibility of being happy,” Elizabeth replied sadly.
“You never know. She has all the happiness that one could ask for in a suitable marriage. To be sure, Mr. Collins does not cut a dashing figure in a red coat, but he is not an evil man. He will treat her well, if not love her, and he will give her a good home. They will learn to live together and they could very well learn to respect one another. Love can even grow from this,” Harold said. Then added, “if you are romantic enough to believe in it.”
“I do not believe anyone could be that romantic,” she laughed.
“It is good to hear you laugh, Miss Elizabeth. Laughter helps with many things. And you must concede, there are worst things in life than such a marriage.”
“Yes,” cried Elizabeth suddenly. “You could be separated from the one you love by the one you hate.”
Harold was surprised by her vehemence but only nodded in reply.
Long after Elizabeth and Captain Harold separated, he was thinking of her hearty and bitter statement: You could be separated from the one you love by the one you hate. Was this a misfortune that she had suffered?
“Where have you been Captain? Courting the lovely Elizabeth Bennet?”
Harold turned at the voice of his subordinate. He saw him cutting across the field with his elder sister trying desperately to catch up.
“Is that how you treat your family, Lucas?” He walked pass William Lucas to offer an arm to Charlotte. “Good day, ma'am.”
“Captain Harold,” Charlotte replied heavily.
“May I escort you back to Lucas Lodge?”
“Of course, sir,” she replied, bowing her head.
“Will you not come to the wedding?” Elizabeth asked as she walked with Wickham in Meryton a few days later.
“If you have extended the invitation to me, then I would be delighted to come,” Wickham smiled, all the while trying to look down her dress.
“Good, for I am in need of a friend. Captain Harold will be leaving us for finer pursuits in London and so will be unable to attend.”
“Captain Harold?” Wickham halted suddenly.
“Do you know him?”
“Um, no, I do not. He sounds rather familiar.”
“He arrived the day prior to the Netherfield Ball with Lieutenant Lucas. Are you familiar with the latter?” Elizabeth continued when he replied in the negative. “He is the eldest son, Charlotte's brother. He once had some strong feelings for my sister, Jane, for which, I allow, is of no great astonishment. But I digress; Captain Harold is Lieutenant Lucas' superior and particular friend. He has been vacationing in Hertfordshire but I am afraid we shall lose his company very soon.”
“I am sorry to hear that,” Wickham said with as much sincerity as he could muster.
Chapter 10
I understand you must be very upset. But she wasn't! She should be upset that Bingley was to quit Netherfield but Jane was more concerned with the loss of Darcy rather than her supposed favorite.
“...can be rash but never like this. I cannot begin to comprehend it! I have meditated upon this situation for quite some time and have yet to make a conclusion that is remotely satisfying.”
“What makes you so concern about his actions?”
“Are you not concerned, Miss Bennet?” Darcy cried in astonishment.
“How do they affect me, Mr. Darcy? Mr. Bingley is his own man. He can do as please.”
“Is he allowed to break hearts as he pleases?”
“He is not breaking any hearts,” she replied flatly.
Darcy was thrown off by the manner in which Jane made her statement. There had been no tremble in her voice, no undercurrent of emotion. She had been completely calm, as though she had made a comment about the weather. Surely he was not mistaken, was he? “Miss Bennet, I do not doubt that you are a woman who does not give away her heart easily. You could have been married by now, to Lieutenant Lucas or any of many other men.” He took one of her delicate hands and held them between his own two. “But you believe in love, do you not? I know there were feelings between you and Bingley once. I have observed the two of you ignore the rest of the world. Yet, since the Netherfield Ball, there has been a change. You do not welcome his company as you did before and he has been different as well. Perhaps it has something to do with his retreat from Hertfordshire. Tell me, Miss Bennet, what has occurred since the Netherfield Ball? What has changed? Has there been a misunderstanding? Has one of your hearts changed?”
“I do believe-” Jane replied in a gasping, wistful voice. “I do believe my heart has changed or perhaps, it never truly belonged to anyone before...until...”
“For a perceptive man such as yourself, Darce, I do not understand how you did not see this!”
Darcy started and turned to look at Bingley. He was staring at Jane with hard eyes. Jane, in the meantime, was avoiding the eyes of both men by casting her own to the ground.
Why did you not see it Darcy? Because you did not want to. He instantly dropped Jane's hand and backed away. He shook his head, looking between the immobile Bingley and the trembling Jane. “No, no, no..”
“So there you have it, Darce. There is your answer.”
“Miss Bennet,” Darcy pleaded. “Tell my friend that he is wrong. Tell him, I beg of you.”
“He is not wrong, Mr. Darcy,” Jane replied, tears falling rapidly from her eyes.
“You do not want her?” Bingley asked with quiet incredulity.
“She is yours.”
Bingley closed the library door and locked it. He knew very well that Caroline tried to listen in whenever Darcy and him were having a discussion but this was a conversation he would not have his sister hear. He walked to stand across from the sullen pensive man sunk in the armchair.
“I beg to differ. She is not mine. She has declared it herself.”
“She is yours. She loved you not so long ago. One cannot forget so easily.” Easily, easily... The word seemed to rattle within his skull.
“Not until you came along and swept her off her feet,” Bingley muttered bitterly, looking away.
“I do not love her.”
“She is a beautiful and sweet creature. She is the most magnificent woman I have ever known,” Bingley declared, speaking to himself rather than to his friend. While he did not want Darcy to take Jane away from him (though it seemed too late), it felt natural for him to defend her.
“It's not enough.” Darcy stood up and looked down at his shorter companion. He opened his mouth to speak but hesitated. He finally took a deep breath before pronouncing, “I was once married.”
Bingley backed up in surprise. “Really?” He had never known this about his friend, though they had attended University together and never separated since.
“Do you know what I married for?”
He shrugged. By the look on Darcy's face, it was not love. “Beauty? Money? Connections?”
“I married her because I pitied her. Charles, I married for no reason of my own. I married out of pity.”
Chapter 11
Posted on Monday, 25 July 2005
Jane could not look into his mournful eyes. To know that she had caused such suffering! “I hope, Mr. Bingley, that this will not be our last meeting.”
Bingley took in a sharp breath. She wanted to meet him again as Mrs. Darcy. He closed his eyes briefly, clinging onto the one hope his friend gave him: the promise that he would not seek a wife in Jane Bennet. “May I...”
“Yes?” She twisted her hands in discomfort.
“If you are still free in a year, could I come back? Would you allow me to come back for you?”
The wind was harsh that morning and it whistled violently through the trees. Jane grabbed onto the ends of her bonnet before reaching out with one hand to grab one of his own. She squeezed it, then turned and ran.
She ran all the way back to Longbourn. She rushed through the kitchen door, breathless. All the Bennets were having breakfast.
“Jane, you look absolutely wild!” her mother cried.
Indeed, she did. She had lost her bonnet long ago and her hair had loosen during the run. The wind left her cheeks red and stung her teary eyes.
“Jane, what is-” Before Elizabeth could finish, her sister ran upstairs. She moved to follow.
“Jane! Jane!”
“Go away, Lizzy!”
“But-”
“Let me be!” she cried as she slammed the door shut.
Elizabeth was all astonishment. Jane had never shouted at her in such a manner. Jane never shouted at all. What had happened? How had the Bennet household become more like a madhouse? She could not even recognize her own sisters anymore.
Chapter 12
The marriage of Lydia Bennet to William Collins was a somber affair.
Mr. Bennet walked his youngest daughter down the aisle. Lydia had flinched when her father had taken her arm but she showed no emotion after that. She was resigned to her fate.
“How could he do this to her?” Jane whispered as she watched baby Lydia walk down the aisle and take her place at the altar, void of all the spirit she was once known for.
The ceremony passed at a slow, agitating pace that ate at everyone who attended it. It finally ended with a slobbering kiss from Mr. Collins to his new wife who turned her face in time for him to miss her lips.
“Well, that was...” Wickham began.
“Horrible,” Elizabeth said miserably, consumed with guilt. She knew Lydia’s accusation was the truest thing ever said in their home and though she loved her father, she found him very much at fault in this case. At the same time, she thanked every created thing that he had not forced her to do the very thing that he had forced Lydia to do. She shook her head. Doomed at the tender age of fifteen.
“I think you need to sit down,” he said, gallantly offering his arm.
“Thank you.” Elizabeth took his arm. Wickham guided her to the gardens behind the church. “The reception will take place in but an hour. After that, she will be gone.”
“You sound as though your sister is lost to you.”
“She is lost to me. She has been lost to me ever since her engagement to Mr. Collins.”
“Cheer up, Miss Elizabeth. You are much prettier when you smile.” He placed a finger under her chin, causing her to take in a sharp breath.
“Mr. Wickham.”
“Shhh...” He leaned in to taste her lips.
“George!”
Wickham stood up. Bloody… ”Why, Will, what are you doing in Hertfordshire?”
“I might ask you the same thing. When I learned you were here, in this very county, in this very place in fact, I had to seek you out,” Darcy said with a thin, harsh smile. “It was so very ill of you not to tell me you were here!”
“Had I known...you were at Netherfield, I would have sought you out,” Wickham replied, trying to resist the urge to flee.
“Is that so, George? How did you know I was at Netherfield?”
“How did...how did I know? Why, Miss Elizabeth Bennet, here.”
Elizabeth, who had been watching the scene with much confusion, stood up. What was this all about? Wickham knew that Darcy was in town.
“Lizzy, Lizzy!” Jane came around the corner in a run. When she saw the two men and her sister, she threw a grateful look at Darcy and a threatening one at Wickham. “Lizzy, we must leave immediately.”
Elizabeth was hard press in leaving the scene but obeyed Jane's command nonetheless. It seemed as though she was the only one who had been left out in the dark.
“What was that about?” Elizabeth hissed in Jane's ear as the carriage took their family, with the exception of Lydia, back to Longbourn.
Jane did not reply but looked out of the window instead.
“Jane!” she cried in frustration.
Again, there was no response. It was clear that Jane did not want to discuss it at the moment, in front of the rest of the family, but did that mean she would not discuss it at all? She did not know what to expect from her elder sister anymore.
As opposed to most wedding receptions, there was little gaiety. It was remarked by Geoffrey Lucas that there "shouldn't have...have, had a celebration at all because no one is a celebrating."
Afterwards, as Elizabeth stood beside the gates of Longbourn, where the Bennets had bid their farewells to Lydia and Mr. Collins, Jane walked to stand beside her.
“Wickham seems to have removed himself from Meryton.”
“Removed himself or forced to leave by that insufferable man?” Elizabeth spat.
“Forced to leave by the accumulation of numerous debts on his head,” she said sternly.
There was a long pause in which they stood in a untenable silence. “Jane...who are you?”
“I am your sister. I am your family. I am trying to take care of you.”
“What do you mean?”
“Elizabeth, I have never attempted to interfere with your life. Even when you made mistakes, I allowed you to do as you please. I have always questioned myself but never you. I thought myself either wrong or assumed that you would see the truth on your own accord, but I was presumptuous to think you the better sister. Neither one of us are.”
“Jane, I can hardly understand you.”
“You were wrong about George Wickham.”
“How do you know?” Elizabeth cried.
“Oh, Lizzy, you barely know who I am. These past few weeks have turned our entire lives around. For the best, for the worst, I hardly know.”
“Jane, what is your relationship with Mr. Darcy? Why is he still here and Bingley not?”
“Lizzy,” Jane cried, taking her sister's hands. She paused and finally said, "I am not mourning the loss of Mr. Bingley. I will, oh I already am, mourning the impending loss of another.”
Elizabeth's eyes widen at these implications. “Jane, he has poisoned your mind! He has turned you against Wickham, he has turned you against Mr. Bingley and he has even turned you against me!”
“Oh, how can you think me such a fool?”
The statement startled Elizabeth. How indeed? Her sister, though generally docile and altogether sweet, was not one to be pushed over. No matter what anyone believed, Elizabeth knew Jane was not one to be swayed easily.
“Tell me everything, Jane. Tell me all.”
Jane nodded. She did not bother wiping the tears from her eyes but suggested a walk to Oakham Mount instead.
“I am in love with him,” she sighed.
“Am I to assume that 'him' is Mr. Darcy?” Elizabeth asked, her stomach tightening in protest to the prospective answer.
Jane answered in the affirmative. “But he will not have me. Before you say anything, let me start at the beginning. I barely know where the beginning as it is. But as I have told you, I had always thought that you would eventually come to the truth when you were wrong in your perceptions. In the case of Mr. Darcy, I have found that you have been adamant in keeping your early picture of him and perhaps, unlikely to clear yourself of this image on your own. Those many weeks ago, when I had caught that nasty cold on my way to Netherfield, I was sent chicken broth by Mr. Darcy.” Elizabeth arched an eyebrow in disbelief. "This information came to me by way of gossiping servants, Lizzy. I must confess, I was quite surprised by this display of compassion. He was a distant man to be sure but always, always polite, with the exception of the Meryton Assembly. He made some mistakes there but I shall explain that later.”
“An explanation for everything, I presume.” The sarcasm in her voice was not lost to Jane but she chose to ignore it.
“I was most strongly affected by him at the Netherfield Ball. Julia Long was engaged for the first two dances with Mr. Bingley. This left me without a partner. It was either Mr. Darcy or Lieutenant Lucas. Seeing my reluctance to dance with the latter, Mr. Darcy kindly offered himself as my partner. He was quite gracious... Lizzy, when you related to me Wickham's story, I knew the same man that helped me during my illness and distress could not be the same man that Mr. Wickham was talking about. I attempted to pass it by as some gross misunderstanding, but you know very well that it could not be. I wanted to discuss the subject with him but feared his reception of such slander.”
“We had a very good time dancing and we spoke on a variety of subjects that night. Suddenly, Mr. Darcy had become my confidante. I even revealed some of my feelings for Mr. Bingley to him! But I soon discovered, as we would walk with one another each morning after the ball, that my fancy for Mr. Bingley was nothing compared to my feelings for Mr. Darcy. I do love him, Lizzy. I can tell by the look on your face that you do not believe me, that you do not think this is possible, but it is.”
“I am not as disillusioned as you think. I have related to him everything that you have related to me concerning Wickham's accusations. Yes, he admits to me that he once had a wife. Her name was Winter Elliot and they were married for a year. He loved her, Lizzy. He did. I can tell by the pain in his eyes. You talk about truth in Wickham's looks. But is it in his eyes? Can you see his face twist up in raw pain when he discusses his misfortunes? When I revealed to him this afternoon, as I have kept it from him, the source of my knowledge concerning himself, he was worried, worried about you, Lizzy. He said that Wickham could not be trusted, he might even go so far as to ruin you. Did he do anything?”
Elizabeth could not believe this tale but she conceded that Wickham did attempt to kiss her.
“Look at the prejudices that you hold! Because of a bad first impression, you have judged him on improper grounds. You trusted Wickham and accepted his story on a mere hour's acquaintance. Even now, I can see you are still ready to defend him though there has never been anything proper in the manner he has acted towards you. Lizzy, alone, behind the church, in the gardens when everyone was leaving for Longbourn, he attempted to kiss you! If Mr. Darcy had not shown up in time, then who knows what else he would have done.”
Elizabeth could discern truth in her words but she would not be defeated so easily. “If I am so wrong in trusting Mr. Wickham, then is it not possible you are wrong in trusting Mr. Darcy?”
“What does he have to gain from it? If he is so arrogant and above his company, he has no need to impress anyone.”
“Perhaps he wants you, my dear sister,” Elizabeth replied desperately.
“If only. Did I not tell you that he will not have me? Not as a wife, not even as a mistress.”
Elizabeth gasped. “You did not offer yourself to him as that, did you?”
“No, but he made it very clear to me that he thought me as a sister. A sister! It is even worse than considering me a friend.”
“Did he ever go into his relationship with his wife?”
“It is no doubt a delicate subject. I did not wish to pry.”
“Then I must remain firm in my opinion of Mr. Darcy, though I shall reconsider Mr. Wickham's behavior. You are clouded by your love for him, Jane, and faulty in your judgment of these men.”
“Then I'm sorry you think that. Your pride is much greater than you will acknowledge.”
Chapter 13
Darcy, having learned that Wickham was in the area, worried over his apparent influence in Meryton and the surrounding countryside. Jane begged him to do something about the situation and he promised her that he would. He went straight to Colonel Forster and the ladies of Meryton would soon enough lament the lost of their former favorite who was too busy cleaning up the mess hall to cause much trouble.
"Do you think you can rid yourself of me so easily, Fitzwilliam?"
"I have no desire to rid myself of you. I simply want to ride alone."
"You know, Will, there is no one around. Anything could happen," Wickham grinned, his eyes glittering darkly.
Will chose not to respond. He continued at an easy trot. After all, he had ridden Polo at a hard gallop in order to, yes, rid himself of Wickham.
"Who would be the future heir of Pemberley if you were dead? Would it pass onto your sister? That I doubt. What about your cousin, Richard?" George teased at the stony features of Fitzwilliam Darcy. "Or perhaps, it will go to your father's favorite?"
"And who would be Mr. Darcy's favorite, George?" The new voice startled the pair.
George eyed the older boy with angry green eyes. "Go away, can't you see I'm having a private conversation with Will?"
"Say, Fitz, is this a private conversation?"
"Not that I'm aware of."
George spat on the ground before turning his horse in another direction, away from the two who were already bantering with one another.
Darcy sat on his horse. He was ready to go, having sent his things ahead of him in the carriage. He did not want to speak with Jane but knew he must for her sake, and perhaps, a little for Bingley’s.
“Thank you for all that you have done.”
“Please, I beg of you, Miss Bennet, do not thank me for anything. I have only done my duty.” Darcy shook his head. He had always done his duty.
“I shall miss you.”
“Miss Bennet, please...”
“I am sorry. I only speak the truth,” she replied, focusing on Darcy's handsome features, trying to store them in her memory.
“I do not think you speak the truth. I am sorry if it pains you, Miss Bennet, but I stepped in during a time of distress. I gave you aid in a brotherly fashion, and now you find yourself fancying me. This...it shall pass,” he ended, thinking he concluded rather lamely.
“Is this how you deal with women who do not interest you?” she said with a hint of a teasing smile.
“I ignore women such as Caroline Bingley,” he cried pointedly.
Jane was able to laugh though she could not remain in a humorous mood. “Are you certain that my affections will not last or is it simply a hope you entertain?”
“Miss Bennet, let us not part on such terms as this.”
“What sort of terms do you expect us to part in?”
“I do not know what to expect. I only desire us to be on good terms.”
“We are on good terms.”
The horse began to whine. Darcy adjusted the reins before looking down at the fair Miss Bennet. “You are truly a wonderful person, Miss Bennet. Be happy. Know what it is that gives you happiness and return it to the world. Most of all, Jane, do not confuse love with gratitude. It would be a shame to have your sweetness tried by failure in realizing what your heart truly desires. You may end up spending your entire life being polite and that is a shameful waste of true love.”
The horse whinnied again. Darcy tipped his hat and rode off.
Oddly enough, Lydia was able to bring momentary joy into her former and future home. A week after Christmas, the Bennets received their first letter from her.
Her family smiled at her last remark. Perhaps Lydia Bennet was not entirely lost to them. Her letter continued with wishes for a good holiday season and finished with an invitation for, surprisingly, her two eldest sisters.Christmas Eve
My dear family,
I must admit my motive for not writing earlier was entirely selfish. I wanted to hurt you as you have hurt me but I have come to realize that I was wrong. None of you truly wanted this for me and I would not wish to cause any strife between any of us. (Just listen to me! It's as though Lydia Gnee Bennet never existed!) Perhaps she is gone forever. My writing is much more elegant, is it not?
...I would like very much for Jane and Lizzy to visit me at Hunsford in the spring. I welcome their companionship if it can be spared. Please reply soon so I can ready the household. Oh, I do hope all of you are happy at dear, dear Longbourn!"Why didn't she invite me?" Kitty pouted.With all my love,
Lydia
Before Mary could reply with a lesson on jealousy, Mr. Bennet interrupted. "I'm sure, my dear, that Lydia intends to invite you to Hunsford in the summer, when you can surely spend more time with her and view the grounds of Rosings at its best."
Thus, with the coming of spring and the thawing of the snow, but not the tension, boredom or guilt that pervaded the house, the two eldest Bennet daughters rode to London before heading to Kent.
"My dear girls!" Mrs. Gardiner cried when Jane and Elizabeth arrived on Gracechurch Street in Cheapside.
"Aunt Maddie, it's so good to see you," Jane replied before being accosted by the Gardiner children.
"Aunt," Elizabeth stated simply.
"Is there something the matter?" Mrs. Gardiner asked with concern. For indeed, the strain on the two sisters' countenance was evident. But she could hardly guess that the pair was upset with one another and that, during the journey to London, nothing beyond the acknowledgement of refusing to communicate was exchanged.
"I shall explain later."
But nothing was to be explained. Jane and Elizabeth entertained themselves with their nieces and nephews, avoiding each other as much as possible and refusing to converse on the subject that interested their aunt the most when the other was around. Later, their uncle came home and it was decided that they must go to the theatre that night.
"You girls look lovely!"
"Thank you, Uncle Gardiner, but I doubt this dress was meant for such an event as the theatre!" Elizabeth cried, looking at one of the more elegant dresses that she had brought. It was certainly a dinner dress, crushed dark green velvet, but it was very plain and simply cut.
"Your dress requires no accessory when you wear it, my dear. Your beauty will suffice."
"...a lovely Italian piece. I'm sure you'll love it!"
"Oh, I'm never disappointed by the theatre," Jane smiled.
"Ah, but then you are never disappointed by anything, my dear!"
Jane's lack of response caused Mrs. Gardiner to pause. Have you been disappointed in some way, Jane? And what of your sister?
"Miss Bennet! Miss Bennet, is that you?"
Both Jane and Mrs. Gardiner turned to see a Naval officer with sandy hair and freckles approach them.
"Captain Harold," Jane greeted with a curtsey.
"How are you, Miss Bennet? I hope your family is well."
"They are, sir," Jane replied, purposely avoiding his question. "May I introduce you to my aunt, Mrs. Gardiner?"
"How do you do, ma'am?" he said with a very gallant bow.
"Captain Harold is Lieutenant Lucas' superior. He returned with the latter to Lucas Lodge this past autumn," Jane explained.
"And how did you find Hertfordshire, Captain?" Mrs. Gardiner applied pleasantly.
"The countryside was very beautiful though not as beautiful as other objects to be found there," he smiled. "And it was a welcome contrast to my many years at sea."
"Do you not enjoy the sea?"
"Oh, indeed, I do! Do not be mistaken, Mrs. Gardiner, a sailor could not but love the sea. However, I did not grow up with sea legs. A part of me will always belong to solid ground."
"So it is!"
"If I may be so impertinent to ask, Captain Harold, for what reason are you in London?" Jane interrupted, worried that Lieutenant Lucas would be in the premises and quite put out that there was no Darcy to save her.
"In preparation for my return to the wild blue mysteries of the tide. I was to be reassigned to my very own ship, with Lucas as my first, but there seems to be some complications that must be straightened out so I find myself in London awaiting my orders."
"Well, I do hope you are enjoying your leave."
"It is much more splendid when the company is good," he said with a wink.
Mrs. Gardiner laughed. "You are quite charming, Captain."
"My friend, Lieutenant Lucas, uses the term lethal. May I escort you ladies to your seats?"
"Captain Harold, it is so good to see you!"
"And you Miss Elizabeth. I am sorry to learn from your sister that the two of you will not be in town for long."
"No indeed. We are leaving tomorrow morning."
"Where to might I ask?"
"Kent. We are visiting my youngest sister Lydia. Surely you remember her. She married my cousin, Mr. Collins."
"Yes, what a pity."
"Won't you join us, Captain Harold?" Mr. Gardiner did not see his eldest niece shake her head vigourously.
"No. I wouldn't want to impose."
"It's no imposition at all."
"Well, in such pleasant company as this, I can see why not. But I must collect my subordinate, if you do not mind."
"Of course not."
Jane was quite put out. To spend the night with Lieutenant Lucas when everything was so wrong already!
Captain Harold returned without Lucas. He could not find him anywhere and this cause Jane to smile a little. She even offered him the seat next to herself.
The first act began and it was indeed pleasant. Engrossed in the play, Jane and Elizabeth momentarily forgot that they were no longer on good terms. When intermission began, they turned to one another to discuss what they had seen as they were always wont to do but before either of them said anything, they stopped themselves and looked away. Jane, upon turning away, was faced in the direction of Captain Harold. Naturally, they began to converse.
After several minutes of doing nothing but staring away from Jane, Elizabeth interrupted by saying, "We dearly missed you, Captain, when you left this past autumn!"
"Sound like Lydia," Jane muttered under her breath.
"I am dreadfully sorry for having to leave myself, Miss Elizabeth."
"As you should be!" Elizabeth cried, batting her eyelashes and smiling immensely. This quite confused the Captain for he did note that this was a method of flirtation but he thought he would never see it upon such an intellectual woman as Elizabeth Bennet. "So many people quitted the neighborhood that by winter, we were quite despondent over our lack of company."
"Such as Mr. Wickham, Lizzy?" Jane practically spat. She was really quite annoyed with Lizzy's insistence that she was correct in her judgments while her elder sister was completely disillusioned.
"Wickham?! As in George Wickham?" Captain Harold cried in a horrified voice.
"Do you know him?" Jane asked, jumping up in her excitement and curiosity. Elizabeth also stood up but much more slowly.
"Unfortunately, yes. I did not know that scoundrel was in Hertfordshire. Probably for the best. Otherwise, I would have sought him out and done something to him not meant for ladies' ears."
Jane smiled winningly at him. "Is that so?"