'Til Kingdom Come
Posted on Thursday, 9 June 2005
Author's Note: I do not have a particular tendency to be anachronistic but I felt this song was too befitting. I also highly recommend it as I recommend all Coldplay songs.
Darcy fingered the piano keys, a sad smile playing across his face as he mused on his pain. He took pleasure at the tightening of his chest as he thought of Elizabeth. He felt so desperate that he did not know whether to laugh or cry. It had been so long since he last did either, so long since he did both at the same time, when his father laid on his deathbed and asked him to play, play as he expired from this world and left his son alone and cold and never able to touch the piano again.
“Could you not play something for me?”
His father’s desperate plea caused Darcy’s composure to crumble. He cried openly but silently as he turned to the piano and let his fingers fly across the keys. He did not want to think, he just played. He was afraid if he stopped that he would find his father had already died. Indeed, when he did stop playing, when his fingers ached too much for him to continue, he found just that.
He pressed one finger down on a key and the note rang loud and clear. It came as a solid vibration in the air and suddenly he could not have stopped himself from playing even if he wanted to.
One... two...
He murmured under his breathe, feeling himself becoming lost in the music.
Steal my heart... and hold my tongue
I feel my time... my time has come
Let me in... unlock the door
I never felt this way before
Though his voice faltered as thoughts of Elizabeth intruded, his fingers continued to play. They were a part of the piano and would not be hindered from their aspiration to execute a perfect piece. But what was perfection? Technical skill was nothing without feeling, was it not? He recalled Elizabeth at the piano, how she fudged through the difficult parts but how beautiful it was, her feeling and her passion. He had thought it was perfection. He rued his former behavior to her, his crude comment about her beauty, his refusal to acknowledge her excellence. Everything he did he felt was wrong in regards to her. He should have apologized, he should have knelt before her and begged for her forgiveness.
And the wheels just keep on turning
The drummer begins to drum
I don't know which way I'm going
I don't know which way I've come
Hold my head... inside your hands
I need someone... who understands
I need someone... someone who hears
For you I've waited all these years
Darcy was overwhelmed by the tumult of emotions that gripped him. Guilt and regret, sorrow and anger, directed at himself and for Elizabeth. And then, there was also love, love that tore him in another more ways than he could have imagined. Love of a woman who disdained him and love for an instrument that he once poured himself into but pushed away in fear of the pain of past remembrances.
For you I'd wait... 'Til Kingdom Come
Until my day... my day is done
and say you'll come... and set me free
just say you'll wait... you'll wait for me
Consumed by his thoughts, he did not notice his audience. Charles Bingley had heard the chords pierce the air in technical perfection and knew instantly that Darcy was at the piano. He did not even realize Darcy was singing in a deep but broken voice until he was closer to the room. He had merely wandered in the direction of the sound, leaving his guests to follow him in astonishment.
Jane and Elizabeth had never seen Bingley look so somber and shared a glance of concern as they followed his seemingly absent meander through his own home. When they arrived at the door of the second parlor where the piano had been placed, they were all astonishment at perceiving Mr. Darcy. His eyes were closed and his head bowed, but his fingers caressed the keys so assuredly. His voice was much stronger now and his words were clear but soft in their tone.
In your tears... and in your blood
In your fire... and in your flood
I hear you laugh... I heard you sing
I wouldn't change a single thing
Neither Jane nor Elizabeth ever saw a gentleman much in display. And least of all would they imagine seeing Mr. Darcy doing just that. Elizabeth felt quite embarrassed for having intruded on what was certainly a very private moment. But like her soon-to-be brother-in-law, she could not move. She was entranced, even enchanted, to see this side of him. He seemed so vulnerable. This man she once called proud and disagreeable, whom she turned down without care for his feelings, was pouring his soul out before her. She could not help but see the beauty of the moment even with its trembling pain.
And the wheels just keep on turning
The drummers begin to drum
I don't know which way I'm going
I don't know what I've become
For you I'd wait... 'Til Kingdom come
Until my days... my days are done
Say you'll come... and set me free
Just say you'll wait... you'll wait for me
Elizabeth. The thought again arose in him unbidden. But this time, it did not come with the same turmoil that tore him only moments before. He was too much in peace with the music he himself was creating. Would she wait for him to prove himself worthy of her? He could not imagine that she would. But he did know he could be patient, if need be, with her. He would try. After all, that was why he came back to Hertfordshire, to win her, to earn her.
Just say you'll wait... you'll wait for me
Just say you'll wait... you'll wait for me
He completed the last note and though he both laughed and cried as he placed the cover over the keys, he was content. He splayed his fingers over the wood and placed his forehead softly on the instrument. He would not deny himself any longer.
‘Til Kingdom Come ~ Coldplay