Posted on Monday, 13 December 2004
Once upon a time there was a young lady who married a sailor by the name of Price to disoblige her family, and thus Waived her Personal Jurisdiction (R. 12(b)(2); R. 12(h) of the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure), and possibly subjected herself to Admiralty Jurisdiction. This Transaction or Occurrence was especially disappointing since she had one sister who had married very well indeed, to Sir Thomas Betram of Mansfield Park, and another who had married very respectably, to the Reverend Mr. Norris. And for a while it seemed as though even Minimum Contacts between them would be severed (International Shoe v. Washington), for there was not the slightest inclination on her part to Relate Back to them (R. 15(c)). But Sir Thomas was a dutiful man, and when at last Mrs. Price wrote for help, he could not help making amends for that Same Transaction or Occurrence by offering to adopt the Prices' oldest daughter, Fanny. Indeed, it was Mrs. Norris who volunteered to take her under her Jurisdiction, but as it happened she could not admit the burden of a child into her home, and to Sir Thomas's surprise, it was under his Jurisdiction in Mansfield Park that she was situated.
Thus it was that Fanny Price Purposefully Availed of all the facilities and privileges of Mansfield Park, and grew up as a poor relation to her cousins, Maria, Julia, Tom, and Edmund (Worldwide Volkswagen). The girls undermined her, and Tom ignored her, but it was Edmund who took her under his care, and ensured that the Balance of Inconveniences were not against her (International Shoe v. Washington). Fanny Price grew up to be everything that was right and proper and obliging, and for this reason her spiteful aunt Mrs. Norris, and her inert aunt, Lady Bertram, could impose upon her in any way they liked.
And one day, when the young people were all grown up, Sir Thomas left for Antigua to administer his properties there, and his children, and Mrs. Norris, took advantage of his absence to assert their Jurisdiction, in personam and in rem, over everyone and everything within Mansfield Park (Pennoyer v. Neff). They and their new friends, Henry Crawford and his sister Mary, and Tom's friend Mr. Yates, had the run of the house. Maria took the opportunity to engage herself to Mr. Rushworth (the only man in Jane Austen who was richer than Darcy and perhaps even less sensible than Mr. Collins) to Purposefully Avail herself of his £12,000 a year and his beautiful estate Sotherton, which Sir Thomas approved via a Long Arm Statute. Henry Crawford flirted with every woman in sight, but showed no sign of Doing Systematic, Continuous, and Substantial Business (Helicopteros), or even establishing Minimum Contacts. And Edmund Betram grew fascinated by Mary Crawford, despite his Lack of Subject Matter Jurisdiction over her because of the Diversity of their interests. As always it was to Fanny Price that he Automatically Disclosed (R. 26(a)(1)) all his Well Pleaded Complaints, but though Fanny had always loved him as more than a cousin, she adopted a Judicial Passive Approach, and did not intervene in his affairs.
Under Mr. Yates's auspices, the young people, excepting Fanny Price, decided to put on a play called Lover's Vows. Fanny Price Summarily Judged the play to be inappropriate (R. 56), and entertained no Metaphysical Doubt about its suitability as a form of entertainment (Matsushita). Although he did not have the Slightest Doubt that the play was rather risqué (Arnstein v. Cole Porter), and in fact had Substantial Evidence to the contrary, Edmund still decided to go along with the play for Mary Crawford's sake. The others thought that Fanny was undermining their Work Product, and did not appreciate her Mental Impressions (Hickman v. Taylor, R. 26(b)(3)), and Mrs. Norris wanted to Sanction her for Willfulness, Bad Faith, and Fault (Cine 42nd) But Sir Thomas suddenly returned from Antigua, and was shocked to see what the young people had descended to. Tom and his siblings undertook the Burden of Persuading Sir Thomas to their point of view, but they failed miserably. It was at this time that Sir Thomas's Traditional Notions of Fair Play and Substantial Justice suddenly emerged, and he took special notice of Fanny Price for her steadfast values (International Shoe v. Washington).
Sir Thomas favoured Fanny Price so much that he lit fires in her room, invited her brother, and threw a ball in her favor. She rose still further in his favour when Henry Crawford Claimed loved her and would marry her. Fanny Price, however, Denied his suit, and, on being asked her reasons, Counterclaimed that she was suspicious of his character, and hence would not have him (R. 13(a)). She relied on the relaxed Notice Pleading standard, and desired to obtain Discovery to shed light on his flaws. She hoped that Sir Thomas would Construe her Pleadings So As To Do Substantial Justice (R. 8(f)). She also contested Jurisdiction, claiming that the Balance of Inconveniences overcame Purposeful Availment of Mansfield Park (Asahi Metal). However, Sir Thomas felt that her Purposeful Availment was a Sufficient Condition to find Jurisdiction (Burger King v. Rudzewicz), and held that she had Failed to State a Claim upon which Relief May be Granted (R. 12(b)(6)). He insisted that he allow Henry himself to Serve her with Notice so that she could not argue Insufficiency of Process (R.12(b)(4)) or Insufficiency of Service of Process (R. 12(b)(5)). He also argued that since she was alleging Fraud, she would have to Aver her Complaint Specifically, and held her to a more Stringent Fact Pleading Standard (R. 9(b)). He claimed that he had already Conducted an Inquiry Reasonable Under the Circumstances, and that unless her Allegations had Evidentiary Support she would have to face Sanctions (R. 11).
Rather than allow herself to be Tagged with Jurisdiction (Burnham v. Superior Ct.), Fanny Price opted to Remove herself from the Center of Gravity, Mansfield Park (Mullane), since otherwise Sir Thomas seemed determined to Abridge, (though not Enlarge or Modify) her Substantive Rights (Rules Enabling Act). After many years she returned home to her own family in Portsmouth. She had not counted on the fact that for Henry Crawford, the Focal Point was wherever she was (Calder v. Jones), and he wrote to her in his sister's letters, and even appeared on her doorstep. But although Fanny's Forum Shopping expedition was not a success, she would not allow the Outcome to be Determined by Henry's persistence (Guarantee Trust v. York modified by Hanna v. Plumer). She still said no, and Henry went away.
The next thing she knew, Henry had eloped with Maria Rushworth. When Edmund realized that all Mary Crawford cared about was to Obstruct Discovery of the scandal, the scales fell from his eyes. Of course it was Necessary and Proper for Maria to be abandoned in a cottage in the country somewhere with Mrs. Norris. Sir Thomas learnt that he had acted hastily in assuming the Presumptive Validity of his own actions, since they were Aimed Directly at Fanny Price's Substantive Rights, and did not just have an Incidental Effect on them (Burlington Northern v. Woods). And eventually, Edmund fell in love with Fanny, and Pleaded with her to marry him, and she construed his Pleading with Substantial Justice, and Granted Relief.