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Chapter 36

Posted on Sunday, 3 August 2003

The skies of Derbyshire were clear once again that next morning and despite the need for some time alone, Elizabeth found herself obliged to be up early and breakfasting with her relations by eight o'clock.

'Lizzy, we are to meet the Smiths at ten down by the stables. They are going to show us through the village. I was a great friend of Mrs. Smith when she was Miss Lewis,' began Mrs. Gardiner.

'I look forward to meeting them, aunt,' replied Elizabeth.

'Is my company necessary, Mrs. Gardiner?' asked Mr. Gardiner. 'I would rather see to some angling.'

'You cannot return to Pemberley this morning dear. Mr. Darcy is expecting his party.'

'I do not intend to intrude on his party. He instructed me to see his gamesman when I returned. I will not disturb the man himself.'

'It still must not be done. Lizzy, do you not agree?'

Elizabeth was quite uncomfortable about her uncle returning the very next day after their initial intrusion into Mr. Darcy's life.

'I...perhaps it might be best another day. I suspect that all of Mr. Darcy's household might be busy this morning,' she said, 'and uncle, we do so like your company.'

'Such flattery Lizzy Bennet. You have convinced me. But tomorrow I will be about my sport.'

'Lizzy, perhaps we can look at the new haberdashery shop while your uncle is fishing.'

'I would rather stay within sight of the inn tomorrow, aunt.'

'Are you expecting company, Lizzy?'

'Mr. Darcy wishes to introduce his sister to me and I suspect that they will come tomorrow.'

Mrs. Gardiner looked across at her husband who appeared just as interested in the topic despite his penchant for crisp bacon.

'Lizzy, you did not tell us this yesterday,' said Mr. Gardiner.

'There was ... I thought...'

'Lizzy, this is indeed an honour from such a great man,' said Mrs. Gardiner.

'I am sure Mr. Darcy attends to every propriety,' replied Elizabeth.

'But to bring his sister into Lambton to introduce her is something indeed. Lizzy, you have barely spoken of him since yesterday but surely there is more that should be said.'

'There has been little to say. You were with me when we met.'

'We certainly were but his attention was faultless and I am sure that was not for our benefit. He must respect you a great deal, Lizzy, to take so much of his time to escort us at his home.'

'I am sure it is nothing more than he would do for similar acquaintances. I really must prepare for our walk, Please excuse me.'

Elizabeth hurried quickly to her room leaving her aunt nodding knowingly to her husband who shrugged his shoulders in that manly way, indicating that she could be right but at this point it was of little consequence.

Mr. Darcy ate his breakfast alone in his room, supposedly because he was tired but actually to avoid Mrs. Reynolds. She had been in the household since he was a small boy and although he was now master of Pemberley, Mrs. Reynolds continued in her way, instructing him and frustrating him. He knew the fault lay in his father's lack of desire to run the household after the death of his mother. He had simply let her have her head in all things domestic and now the son was suffering the consequences. He too often felt like that small boy again when he was home and although he would never reprimand her, he knew that his only escape was a new mistress. On that subject he was reluctant to think. The closeness of Elizabeth, the sight of her on the lawn, haunted him at every turn. It was too much to consider her there with him forever.

As he sipped his coffee he began to contemplate his level of patience because that was what he felt was needed right now. Patience had never been something he had needed to refine, as his life and all associated with it had always been under strict control since his birth. He was used to doing what he wanted when he so desired but with Elizabeth that dictate had proved his undoing. So now he must learn the art of endurance in its highest form. And to begin this he made calculations as to the expected arrival time of his party. Ten o'clock sounded right. They were to leave early after their rest day in Derby and the journey was only fifteen miles. Yes, ten o'clock. If he could secure Georgiana immediately, he would be with her before lunch.

It had now been almost a day since seeing Elizabeth and his anxiety at their separation was intense. He had spent the previous afternoon finding ways to stop himself needing a visit to Lambton and this morning was no different. If only he could see her again it might give him some reason to hope again. During her visit, his aspirations had soared but the afternoon had brought back all his torment. She would never want him. He must accept that. Her manner was simply politeness.

He took his bath before his man shaved him and then he dressed in the chosen clothes. He had already sent word for the curricle to be aired and cleaned after its many months unused and he had heard the stable boy running the horse through its paces at dawn. He now had nothing to do but wait, a pastime that Mr. Darcy found less than comfortable. He tried reading but the words remained glued to the page. He tried a little business but decisions were not to be had. Thus he had no choice but to resort to pacing, his very favourite pastime in such circumstances. He had no thought than to be with her.

Ten o'clock came and there was no sign of the carriages. He called to the servant for any news but none was to be had. He had almost decided to ride out to meet them when the rattle of livery was heard through the library window. He hurried to the main door just in time to see the first carriage move past the gate. Mr. Bingley was first out, immediately turning to assist Miss Bingley while Mr. Darcy waited for his sister. Miss Darcy almost jumped down in excitement to be home, the place where she felt most herself. She hugged her brother while he attempted a formal greeting to his friends.

'Bingley, Miss Bingley, safe journey I see. And is Hurst far behind?'

'He should be over the ridge in minutes, Darcy. My goodness it's good to be in the country again. I say Pemberley has never looked better,' said Mr. Bingley.

'Marvelous. Mrs. Reynolds is inside with assistance to your rooms. The east wing Bingley.'

'Oh, I do prefer the north.'

'Not cleaned and aired apparently. You will have to content yourself with the east. Miss Bingley, please enter. Mrs. Reynolds will see to you. There is breakfast prepared.'

'I cannot thank you enough Mr. Darcy. And Charles, I think it is quite wrong of you to complain. The east wing is superb.'

She swanned inside leaving a trail of dust from her dirty hem, something that would no doubt have brought her mortification for soiling the carpets of Mr. Darcy, if she had bothered to look behind. Mr. Darcy followed her with Miss Darcy, leaving Mr. Bingley to greet his sister and her husband.

'Georgiana, I must speak with you.'

'Fitzwilliam, I wish to speak to you but please give me time to rest and change. I feel quite hot and dusty. Miss Bingley did nothing but praise you and Pemberley during the whole journey and I need some little time to myself.'

'This is very important.'

She turned to him and saw in his eyes the urgency of his request and his plea was answered with a soft smile.

'You could talk to me from my sitting room while I rid myself of these travelling clothes.'

'I shall indeed. I have much to tell you.'

They walked together to her rooms and upon entering Miss Darcy exclaimed in surprise. The whole suite had been refurnished with a new secretaire, a high dresser of mahogany with onyx inlay surrounding fine parquetry drawer fronts. The drapes were made to match the new upholstery giving the room a feel of new spring in the North. She placed her arms about her brother and squeezed him tightly.

'Fitzwilliam, you are far too kind to me.'

'A brother can never be too kind to his younger sister. Anyway I have something to ask of you.'

'Then let me change while you speak. I cannot bear these any longer.'

She moved to her dressing room leaving the door slightly ajar as her lady assisted her to change.

'Please, brother, tell me, what is your news?'

For Mr. Darcy this was indeed a moment. He had spoken to no one of Elizabeth's presence at Pemberley and now to have his sister eager to listen was something else indeed. Then as he tried to form the words, he realised the difficulty they presented.

'I ... we ... have had a visitor.'

'Have we another guest?'

'No ... well not staying at Pemberley. In Lambton.'

'Why would our visitor stay in the village? You must ask them here, Fitzwilliam.'

'That is not possible, my dear. But I would like to take you to meet ... them this morning.'

'I really would rather not travel again so soon, brother. Can you not ask them here, please? And I am a little hungry. We had little before leaving for Pemberley.'

'I think you should know the name of ... it is Miss Bennet.'

She moved to the doorway in her robe frowning at him.

'Did you say Miss Bennet? Miss Bennet is here.'

'She is in Lambton,' his face flushing with the words.

She moved to him and placed her hand on his arm.

'Fitzwilliam please sit. You look unwell. Oh what pain this must have brought you. Dear brother, why ... how is Miss Bennet in Lambton?'

'She is touring Derbyshire with her aunt and uncle.'

'How ... have you ... did you happen to meet her? You could not have. We never frequent Lambton.'

'I ... she was here at Pemberley.'

'Here! How could she be...'

'She was touring the estate.'

At this Georgiana sucked in her breath. Although she was of youthful years, she was not unaware of the intrigues of young ladies. In fact it was a topic often discussed in town. She looked across at her brother. For the first time in over two months he looked happy and excited and she could not destroy that by expressing her thoughts.

'Miss Bennet was touring Pemberley. Oh Fitzwilliam, did you see her, meet her again? I cannot bear to think of your pain upon seeing her.'

'Only last week I would have said the same but it was not to be. There was no awkwardness, well some ... we neither of us could forget.'

'Brother, it is my turn to help you. I will stand by you as much as I can.'

'There is no need to protect me, dear. There ... please may I introduce you to her?'

'Fitzwilliam, are you sure? I cannot but think this will cause ... I can see your improvement. To meet Miss Bennet would ... might ... cause more pain. I cannot bear to see you again as you were after Kent. It cannot be.'

'Georgiana, she is ... you saw me at my worst, of that I will admit. But Miss Bennet ... please, meet her and then you may tell me how I should proceed.'

'Oh Fitzwilliam, how silly you are. You know I will do as you ask. When do you wish...'

'Now, I have the curricle ready.'

'Now, this morning? Oh brother, can we not wait until tomorrow?'

'I would rather it today.'

'And how can I refuse you after I see what you have done in my absence. The room is worth any request.'

He smiled broadly and her eyes softened to see the joy in his whole being.

'Bribery is always my first ploy,' he said.

'Are you telling me that you knew of her tour before buying so many new things for my room?' she laughed.

His face and tone became serious.

'I could never have hoped for such fortune, my dear. But she is here and it is my greatest desire to have you meet her.'

'Then so I shall. Although I am sure you would prefer me to finish dressing first and may I have a little breakfast?'

'Of course. Would half an hour be sufficient time?'

'I shall meet you at the north door.'

'Half an hour. Thank you, my dear.'

He strode quickly from her rooms and along the hall, managing to avoid any contact with his other guests who seemed just as busy as his sister in ridding herself of the soil of travel. Miss Darcy was ready in just under half an hour and had just reached the top of the stairs when Mr. Bingley joined her.

'Miss Darcy, you must be as eager as myself to enjoy the delights of Pemberley.'

'Oh Mr. Bingley, I am indeed. But first my brother wishes to introduce me to a...Miss Bennet who is staying in Lambton.'

Mr. Bingley's whole body stilled. Miss Darcy's concerned look forced him to breathe and eventually speak.

'Miss Bennet is in Lambton. I ... had no idea she was in Derbyshire. And you are to visit her now?'

'Yes, my brother is waiting for me.'

'I shall accompany you to the carriage. I wish a word with your brother before you leave.'

He assisted Miss Darcy down the stairs and along to the north door where Mr. Darcy was waiting beside the curricle.

'Darcy, why did you not tell me as soon as we arrived that Miss Bennet was in Lambton?'

'Bingley, it is Miss Elizabeth Bennet who is in Lambton. I am to take Georgiana to meet her now.'

'I must come with you, Darcy. I would like some news of Hertfordshire.'

'Bingley, I have only the curricle. There is no room.'

'Then I shall ride. Be off and tell Miss Bennet I desire to see her also. I will see you in the village.'

He hurried towards the stables, leaving Miss Darcy somewhat surprised at his response to their journey. Mr. Darcy helped her into the curricle and took the reigns himself for the short journey.

'Brother, why is Mr. Bingley so eager to meet with Miss Bennet? Does he know her also?'

'Yes he does. She stayed at Netherfield while her sister was ill.'

As he began to explain the relationship to his sister, he began to consider his interference. He had done no wrong. He had protected his friend from an unsuitable match. He could never have lived watching him caught in a marriage devoid of true affection. Yet this meeting would prove difficult and perhaps take his friend back to moments of pain.

Elizabeth and her relations met Mrs. Gardiner's friends in perfect time and took at least an hour wandering the narrow street of Lambton. They had talked to many old faces that remembered Mrs. Gardiner in her youth and she had great delight in pointing out her favourite childhood haunts. Elizabeth had managed to remain quite interested throughout the tour although it took some concentration as every part of the village brought fresh thoughts of his proposed visit in the morning. The party had just returned to the inn in order to change for lunch when the sound of a carriage on the street below caught their attention. Elizabeth looked out the window and saw a small curricle with Mr. Darcy's livery clearly marked. Beside him was a young lady.

Elizabeth was flushed with embarrassment, anguish and excitement and she had no choice but to disclose to her relations what she felt was about to happen. They were no less at ease as the timing of this visit could mean that their random thoughts earlier in the day must be correct. A man of Mr. Darcy's status would never come so soon unless he felt much more than friendship for their niece. Elizabeth immediately began to pace the room, all the while assessing her dress knowing that there would be no time to change into the frock she had put aside for this visit. She brushed her skirt to smooth out the fine creases, arranged the curls at the side of her face as best she could, took deep breathes to calm her nerves. No doubt Miss Darcy would expect perfection. In thinking this, she gave little thought to the reason. She had already accepted that his praise of her would be tinged with the exaggerations of love. For indeed, she felt that he did still love her. In fact, she had rarely lost that thought since his offer. In all of that painful time, she had never doubted the sincerity of his affection.

Within seconds, it seemed, the door was opened and he was there, looking at her with such zeal that it was difficult to lose his eyes and look at his sister. The break brought his attention to the reason for his visit.

'Mr. Gardiner, Mrs. Gardiner, Miss Bennet, this is my sister, Miss Darcy. Georgiana, this is Mr. Gardiner, Mrs. Gardiner and Miss Bennet.'

Miss Darcy smiled softly to her toes leaving Elizabeth with no doubt as to Miss Darcy's shyness in public and no place for herself to look but at Mr. Darcy.

'Mr. Gardiner, Mrs. Gardiner, Miss Bennet, I am very pleased to meet you,' replied Miss Darcy.

'My sister arrived a short while ago and I thought it best to introduce her this morning while the weather was so suitable for travel.' As he spoke, he had eyes only for Elizabeth and his meagre excuse for the prompt visit was lost as her relations saw his admiration for their niece.

'I am so pleased to meet you, Miss Darcy, your brother has spoken often of you,' answered Elizabeth.

Still looking somewhat down, Miss Darcy replied. 'My brother is all devotion.' She looked up on finishing and began a quiet and reserved observation of Elizabeth. She was not so tall as she expected and her hair was dark, perhaps a little untidy but then perhaps she had no idea they were to call this morning. Her frock was a simple walking dress in cream and she could see her bronze bonnet on the table, with her gloves. She had an open face, devoid of very much reserve and although she was not looking directly at her, Miss Darcy could see that everything that was Elizabeth was revealed in her eyes.

There was a short interlude of silence as Elizabeth's relations took in the vignette and very soon Mr. Darcy was reminded of another reason to speak.

'Miss Bennet, Mr. Bingley has also arrived and is on his way to Lambton as well. I had already secured the curricle so he chose to ride. He is very anxious to meet with you once more.'

Georgiana watched with interest as Mr. Bingley's name brought heightened colour to Miss Bennet and also to her brother. They glanced quickly at each other again and again but seemed unable to secure the intensity of their previous gaze.

'Oh I would be so happy to see Mr. Bingley again,' said Elizabeth although Miss Darcy had distinct doubts on that score.

The sound of footsteps taking the stairs two at a time brought no doubt that Mr. Bingley had already arrived and he burst in the room, smiling brilliantly at Elizabeth. She looked across at him and immediately smiled just as broadly. Despite her reserve regarding his behaviour to her sister, one greeting and she could see that he held no disfavour for her family and that he was as affable as ever. Miss Darcy watched all this with extreme interest, as it was obvious to her that both were initially awkward. Could it be that Miss Bennet had some care for Mr. Bingley and that was the reason she had refused her brother? She pondered this for a few minutes as they conversed but soon became aware that neither was involved in feelings other than friendship. She looked to her brother who had withdrawn slightly and she could see in his eyes that this meeting of Mr. Bingley and Miss Bennet had also affected him. She could not help but wonder what had caused such discomfiture between these friends and Miss Bennet.

'Miss Bennet, I am so glad to see you again. What a surprise when Mr. Darcy told me you were in Lambton. And how is your family Miss Bennet?'

'They are very well, Mr. Bingley. May I introduce my aunt and uncle to you? Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner, this is Mr. Bingley.'

Elizabeth's relations had heard much of Mr. Bingley and her aunt in particular took it upon herself to observe him in detail. However his demeanour and charm allowed her to have no ill feeling towards him despite her sister's constant ramblings about his neglect of her niece. Mr. Darcy, meanwhile, had taken it upon himself to speak to Elizabeth's relations, relieving himself of the need to find somewhere else to look and the overwhelming desire to tell his friend to leave Elizabeth all to himself. Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner also had other things to think of. Their observation of the parties continued to draw their attention leaving no doubt as to Mr. Darcy's affection for Elizabeth. He was endeavouring to speak to them but Mrs. Gardiner could see his eyes glancing towards her at every moment possible with a softness and yearning that she thought impossible in such a man. He was simply besotted. Elizabeth was not quite so lost. She had yet to fight off the depth of anxiety of being in his presence before she could feel the gratification of true love.

Elizabeth herself was very confused. She knew that she wanted to speak only to Mr. Darcy but to even think that way was to invite further thoughts she was unable to consider. She also wished to please him in everything but his constant assault on her senses made it difficult to concentrate and she felt that she was neglecting his sister and indeed, his friend. His friend, however, was far too lost in the sensation of being with Jane's sister to notice any disregard from Elizabeth. There were too many reminders to absorb. The occasional upturn of her chin, the small crease near her mouth and the tone of her voice all enveloped him as reminders of Jane. As Mr. Darcy tried to maintain his strength of purpose with her relations, Mr. Bingley felt compelled to ask if the whole of Elizabeth's family was at Longbourn. She smiled to herself and replied in his favour. Yes Jane was safe and well at Longbourn. She was then rewarded by his accurate and detailed record of the last time they had all been in the district. Yes, he had not lost all his affection for Jane, of that Elizabeth had no doubt. As she was thinking on this, Mr. Darcy once again turned to his sister.

'Georgiana, I am sure you join me in securing Mr. Gardiner, Mrs. Gardiner and Miss Bennet for dinner at Pemberley before they return to town.'

Miss Darcy, though reluctant to speak to all the party at once, did manage to agree.

'Oh yes, my brother and I would be delighted if you would join us for dinner.'

Elizabeth could no longer look at him and turned away, afraid of showing too much attention and wary of what the desire to do so meant to her heart. Mrs. Gardiner looked therefore to her husband but he too seemed only too willing to accept what she had to reply.

'Thank you Miss Darcy, Mr. Darcy, we would be most happy to attend,' said Mrs. Gardiner.

'Ah, then...' replied Miss Darcy, unsure of how to arrange such things.

'Georgiana, I am sure that the day after tomorrow would be perfect,' said Mr. Darcy.

'Would that be convenient, Mrs. Gardiner?' said Miss Darcy.

'We have no appointments that evening. I am sure it would suit us all,' replied Mrs. Gardiner, glancing once more to Elizabeth who was still unable to face him.

'Marvelous,' said Mr. Darcy, in a tone so friendly and forthcoming that it could have come from his friend.

'Marvelous indeed, Darcy. I will await your presence with much excitement, Miss Bennet,' said Mr. Bingley. 'Good day, sir, madam, Miss Bennet.'

'Good morning Mr. Gardiner, Mrs. Gardiner, Miss Bennet,' said Miss Darcy with a small reverence to each.

'Mr. Gardiner, Mrs. Gardiner, Miss Bennet, thank you for receiving us all this morning. I hope your afternoon is pleasant and I look forward to seeing you at Pemberley the day after next,' said Mr. Darcy.

Elizabeth's mind was filled with so much already but to hear his pleasant tone, his sheer joy in being with them and his desire to see more of them, overtook all her normal wit and vivacity and all she could manage was a slow turn towards him in reply. He caught her eye instantly and despite a more than polite farewell and bow he saw no other and felt no other. She was only his.

He moved last from the room, reluctant to take even one step from her but anxious to attain the opinion of his sister. Elizabeth could not watch him depart. Her mind had already moved to her heart where there were so many questions to be dealt with. As the door closed she hurried to her room, muttering a desire to change quickly for lunch.

Mrs. Gardiner's friends were naturally requested for information on the family at Pemberley and in this Elizabeth could hold no part. She listened as Mr. Darcy was pronounced extremely proud but nothing more and having seen the man himself twice now and seeing very little of uncalled- for hauteur, her relatives found it not extraordinary. Mr. Wickham had to be mentioned also and gossip of his dealings, very similar to those Elizabeth already knew of, were bandied about. Miss Darcy was then spoken of, and was found, along with her brother, seldom visitors to Lambton and quite remote from dealings with those in the village.

The topic of conversation for Mr. Darcy on the ride home was set in stone, or more pleasantly in the eyes of Elizabeth and he wasted no time in requesting his sister's opinion.

'Well, you must tell me dear, did you like her?'

'I did like her, Fitzwilliam. I did indeed. However...'

'Yes?'

'I cannot but help feel some ... concern about her tour to Derbyshire so soon after ... after your meeting in Kent. It hardly seems unplanned.'

'It seems that her uncle was planning The Lakes but his business prevented them travelling that far.'

'But to come to Pemberley, brother.'

'Mrs. Gardiner grew up in Lambton but had never visited the estate. It is only natural that on her return she would wish to.'

'But surely Miss Bennet would have ... would not have desired to be there.'

'She assured me that they enquired of my ... our absence before venturing forth. Miss Bennet was indeed mortified when we met.'

'I am sure she was. I did find her quite delightful but please take care Fitzwilliam. I have never seen you suffer so.'

'My heart is firmly in place, I assure you.'

'Oh Fitzwilliam, I have never heard you exaggerate so!'

The ride was short and by one o'clock they were pulling into the gates at Pemberley. Mr. Bingley followed some ten minutes later and wasted no time in securing his friend in private.

'Darcy, are you to your library? I think the party has eaten.'

'They are still at lunch. I have been neglectful in my duty as host. I hope your sisters will forgive me.'

'For sure. I will tell them that it could be no other way. May I join you in the library? We could lunch there as I have much to enquire.'

'You know it all, Bingley. I really must be about some business. Since my arrival, my time has been elsewhere.'

'You may avoid me this afternoon, Darcy, but you will be mine eventually. I will lunch with my sisters and Hurst. He is desirous of shooting this afternoon.'

They separated and Mr. Darcy ate alone in his library, not aware of what passed his lips. He had only thoughts and feelings to wallow in.

Elizabeth spent a similarly distracting afternoon and was grateful that the evening meal was over early. She had no desire to be with others. She lay on her bed, trying to understand herself, hoping it would bring some resolution to her feelings and as each minute passed so did her disapproving opinions. She could not hate him. She could hardly remember why she hated him. Her opinion of his pride had moved to respect and that left the overwhelming feeling of his enduring love. For he did indeed still love her and when she relived his manner and his desire to please her, she could only feel the merit of it all. He had every reason to rid himself of her presence forever but instead he chose to solicit it, wish for it, even seek it out. And that returned her to his first words to her that night. He loved her, he ardently loved her and he had not wavered from that in any way. And then his request to end his torment was listened to again and she spent the remainder of her night wondering what a change in her answer would bring to them both.

Mr. Darcy endured dinner with his party, satisfying them with talk of upcoming activities and all the while he was watched by his sister who had yet to accustom herself to her brother's admiration of Miss Bennet. She had seen him pained beyond reason because of loving her but this change in him, the constancy of his distant looks, the reflection in his eyes, was new to her and despite wishing for him what he most desired it left her feeling one tiny mind step behind Miss Elizabeth Bennet.

Mr. Darcy spent time with the gentlemen, returned to the ladies, read a little, drank a second brandy and retired after his guests, leaving them with no reason to question him. His bed was no less tumultuous than Elizabeth's as he questioned her in everything. She did not hate him of that he was sure. She still watched his manner, was still aware of his pride but he hoped she had seen how much in check it had become. She knew of his love. Of that he was also sure. His Elizabeth had senses too keen to neglect his ardency. And she had felt the rush of his return with Georgiana. So he lay tossing and turning in the torment of his request to her that evening, his heart anticipating a change in her reply upon its renewal and deluding his mind into a world founded on its happening.

Chapter 37

Posted on Sunday, 10 August 2003

The turmoil of such a night as Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth endured could never be treated lightly and thus they both saw the sun rise with more questions than they had retired with. Mr. Darcy wanted to accept that her feelings had changed. Elizabeth thought she might want her feelings to change. He spent his time dreaming dreams meant only for lovers, filled with colour and detail and unimaginable frustration. She lay and stared through the dark hoping for light to guide her away from uncertainty. The one thing she did know was that her previous decision no longer felt definitive and that she would be grateful to see more of him.

Mr. Darcy had managed to avoid Mr. Bingley most of the previous afternoon. He simply could not deal with questions yet. He was so filled with anxiety that any sensible conversation had to be avoided. So it was with some trepidation that he encountered Mr. Bingley after breakfast.

'Darcy, I must speak with you,' said Mr. Bingley as he joined Mr. Darcy on the lawn.

'I am sorry Bingley. I have been quite busy. It is the house guests you see.'

Mr. Bingley smiled. 'Indeed. Now tell me, did you know of Miss Elizabeth's visit? I could not ask her myself.'

'I did not know of it. I happened upon her while she was touring Pemberley.'

'Darcy, how delightful for you. I know how you felt at Netherfield. It must have been delightful to find her so willing to see your estate.'

'Actually I was extremely surprised.

'Of course, but to have a lady...a lady I might add who has your interest, visit your estate, well any man would be intrigued.'

'I should tell you Bingley, that I saw Miss Bennet while in Kent. She was staying with her cousin, Mr. Collins, and his wife.'

'You saw her in Kent and you only now mentioned it. Darcy it seems the lady follows you everywhere. I wish I had your charm. It seems I have none of your luck. However, in some ways time does help to heal one. I find myself quite happy again these days.'

Mr. Darcy looked across at his friend wanting to tell him what he knew of Miss Bennet. But it seemed almost impossible to approach. Elizabeth had not mentioned her sister to Mr. Bingley so it seemed that he should not. He could never disclose his offer to Elizabeth and to have the subject of his friend and Miss Bennet discussed between he and Elizabeth would seem extremely brazen and quite ill mannered. And then there was the actual connection of the two. Mr. Bingley did seem happy and who knows what Miss Bennet was feeling now after all these months. If only he could ask Elizabeth but judging from her comments on the family, all was well in Longbourn. Perhaps Miss Bennet's affections had mellowed along with his friend's. He could never swell the hopes of his friend without some proof. He had endured so much pain himself over unrequited feelings that he knew that he could never put his friend through anything like that. Until there was some opportunity to further discuss it with Elizabeth he saw no way to proceed on the subject.

'I see you are, Charles. I wish I could join you.'

'Darcy, you have it all. She is here.'

'She is here simply because she thought I was not! She had no qualms in telling me that she would never have come had she known I was at home. I cannot but think it bodes ill.'

'But her mood in Kent, that must have told you much. No doubt it is what brought her interest in Pemberley.'

'I doubt that very much. We did not get on well in Kent.'

'Were you being impossible again, Darcy?' said Mr. Bingley with a laugh.

'I will not have impertinence from my house guests, Bingley.'

'Then I had better leave. I will not allow you to turn inside yourself now, Fitzwilliam. She is here and you will behave. I must have you with Miss Elizabeth.'

'Bingley...Charles, have you hopes that any connection between Miss Elizabeth and myself might lead to some...knowledge of Miss Bennet?'

'Do not be afraid for me Darcy. I have resolved my feelings for Miss Bennet and I will not have you influenced by me in your decisions. One day I would like to see her again but for now I am content.'

'Are you really Charles?'

'As content as any man. I have spent many months thinking over your words and not hearing from her has made me resigned. If she had cared as I thought, she would have written to Caroline at least.'

'I am sure she would,' said Mr. Darcy quietly. He had no knowledge of the letter received by Miss Bingley soon after his talk with his friend. His only knowledge was from Elizabeth and that was now long passed. How he wished to speak to her on this again and get her assessment of how to proceed. He would wish no pain for his friend or Elizabeth's dearest sister and to speak of what he knew of some months ago would be irresponsible.

'Are you angling today, Darcy?'

'Yes, Mr. Gardiner is coming by noon. I thought we could make a party of it.'

'Fine weather for it. Very little wind. Hurst is up for it as well.'

'Then let us gather the tackle. I must show you my new reel.'

They wandered to the rear of the house and onto the gamekeeper's cottage where attached to it was well-equipped storeroom of various sporting equipment.

Mr. Gardiner left Lambton just after eleven o'clock and was met at the river by Mr. Darcy and his party. By noon they were all in full cast, contentedly watching the flies float with the stream. The bites were random but then midday was never the best time to fish.

At Lambton, Elizabeth had dressed very carefully in preparation for her return visit to Miss Darcy. She had chosen her pale pink frock, the one she had in mind for their first meeting. With it she wore a straw bonnet trimmed with a slightly wider than normal upturned brim and a deep burgundy ribbon. Her gloves were also burgundy and she had a matching spencer. She fussed more than her usual self during the drive to Pemberley, knowing that Miss Bingley and her sister were also there. Her knowledge of Mr. Darcy's affection for her now made every move of Miss Bingley's crystal clear. She was jealous and she was not a lady to hide that emotion. Elizabeth could not help but feel some apprehension at them meeting again. Knowledge does not always lead to peace of mind.

Miss Darcy and the other ladies were waiting in the northern saloon to greet the guests. Mrs. Gardiner and Elizabeth were met with much civility from Miss Darcy who had with her a companion, Mrs. Annesley, whom Mr. Darcy had chosen to accompany his sister. Miss Bingley and Mrs. Hurst could do no more than curtsey upon seeing the visitors. Neither of them chose to speak at all.

'Mrs. Gardiner, Miss Bennet, how wonderful to see you again,' said Miss Darcy.

'It is our pleasure to see your beautiful home again,' replied Mrs. Gardiner. 'Mr. Gardiner was also quite keen to partake of his favourite sport.'

Elizabeth sat with her eyes lowered somewhat although quite able to take in the surrounds. The room was even more elegant than she remembered of the rest of the house. Large French doors opened directly to the lawn allowing an extended view of the hills and woods behind the house through the random oak and Spanish chestnut trees. Elizabeth noted that Miss Darcy seemed much quieter in the presence of so many ladies and had retreated to her shyness. Her companion took over the part of hostess when the gaps in conversation became awkward.

'Miss Darcy tells me you were born in Lambton, Mrs. Gardiner,' said Mrs. Annesley.

'I was indeed. Although it has changed so much since I left. Though it is Miss Bennet's first visit and I have been so happy to show her my favourite places.'

Elizabeth looked up at hearing her name and felt obliged to speak although her mind had moved to the lawn and the whereabouts of Mr. Darcy. He must be angling with her uncle, which was some relief. The coldness and hauteur of Mr. Bingley's sisters were enough to deal with at this moment and she needed some time adjusting to Pemberley before thinking of seeing Mr. Darcy as well.

'It is a lovely village. Do you visit there often, Miss Darcy?' said Elizabeth.

'Oh no, not at all. I mean ... my brother and I rarely visit,' said Miss Darcy.

'Mr. Darcy is not such a great visitor at any time,' said Mrs. Annesley, obviously choosing to assist Miss Darcy in conversation. 'He has so much business to deal with here at Pemberley.'

'It is a large estate,' replied Mrs. Gardiner.

'Nearly ten miles around and that is only the main park. The surrounding property extends much further,' said Mrs. Annesley. 'It is beyond fifteen miles, is it not, Miss Darcy?'

'Yes ... it is.'

'I believe you play a great deal Miss Darcy,' said Elizabeth. 'Mr. Darcy has said you practise diligently. I wish I practised more.'

At that comment, Elizabeth felt the eyes of Miss Bingley boring through her. She had still not uttered a single word but the looks between her sister and herself were enough for the whole room to understand her feelings.

'I do love to play. My brother had sent up a new pianoforte for me. It was here when we arrived.'

Miss Darcy was also aware of Miss Bingley's silence and rudeness. Knowing of her brother's affection for Miss Bennet, she could only surmise that Miss Bingley's actions were the result of jealousy and although she had still to fully understand Miss Bennet, she was more than happy to see Miss Bingley censured. The conversation continued on topics which surrounded the thoughts of everyone present and rimmed the room with tension. Miss Darcy wanted to get to know Elizabeth and she wished it similarly. Miss Bingley wished to rid Pemberley of Miss Bennet and Mrs. Hurst wished to assist her in that, while Mrs. Annesley and Mrs. Gardiner seemed responsible only for keeping some form of conversation in the room even it if was about nothing. Elizabeth sat in some mortification knowing that her presence and hers alone was the cause of all this confusion and awkwardness when suddenly Miss Bingley spoke.

'And how is all your family, Miss Bennet? I am sure Hertfordshire is as quaint as ever.'

'They are very well, Miss Bingley,' retorted Elizabeth in a tone quite as flat as Miss Bingley's enquiry. Neither of them had any need to communicate further. Elizabeth looked across at her and felt a strange sense of power which in the presence of Miss Bingley was never a bad thing. The room then went silent once more which added to the discomfort of Miss Darcy as Mrs. Annesley gave her pointed looks regarding her duties as hostess. By now Elizabeth was as unnerved as she had ever been. She was in his house, she was trying to talk to his sister, was faced with the presence of a woman who wanted her gone and all the while she desperately wished to see him and just as desperately hoped he would not appear, at least not in the presence of others.

She noticed Miss Darcy address one of the servants very quietly, and thankfully within only five minutes, the doors opened and three servants walked in carrying platters of food. The first was covered in layers of finely cut cold meat, fanned out across the silver. The second was carrying the most delicate cake stand Elizabeth had ever seen. It was of five tiers, each linked with a filigree chain of silver and each containing an array of petit fours, miniature decorated cakes and pastries filled with crème patisserie and coated with fondant. The fruit platter was no less extravagant with its selection of peaches, nectarines, oranges and even grapes. The display was so diverse that Elizabeth quickly concluded that they must all come from a hot house somewhere on the estate.

As on any occasion, the arrival of food brought a change in pace, as it was impossible to ignore the aromas of such a medley. Each of the ladies moved to the table and stood as their plate were filled with the delicacy of their choice. Coffee was available at the end of the table along with a light wine and cordial. Elizabeth found herself hungrier than she had expected but then realised that since the previous day she had eaten little as her mind had too much to consider.

At the stream, the gentlemen were having no luck at all. Mr. Gardiner had two bites, Mr. Bingley had managed to lure one carp but lost it in the reeds while Mr. Hurst had decided the servant could hold his rod while he partook of some fruit that Mr. Darcy had brought for this guests.

'I think you must come another day Mr. Gardiner. My trout and carp seem to be resting.'

'I am not an angler who requires a catch every time, Mr. Darcy. I quite enjoy the anticipation just as much as the prize.'

'But I am sure the ladies will be expecting a catch, sir,' said Mr. Darcy.

'No indeed. They will have more interest in seeing your sister again, sir. They are to return her visit today.'

Mr. Darcy looked across at Mr. Gardiner.

'Mrs. Gardiner and...Miss Bennet are to visit today.'

'Yes, sir. In fact I would suspect that they are at the house as we speak.'

Mr. Darcy suddenly felt his face flush. She was here. He must see her but how could he leave his guests. He stared at the slowly moving water, planning his move when Mr. Bingley came to his rescue.

'Did you say Miss Bennet was at the house, Mr. Gardiner? I say Darcy, you cannot allow the ladies to visit without seeing them. You'd best be off to play host. I am sure we can all continue our sport without your company. What say you gentlemen?'

They all nodded, with Mr. Hurst in particular saying that he felt Mr. Darcy should return to the house. Mr. Darcy smiled across at his friend who gave him a quick grin before returning to his fly.

'I think you are right, Bingley. I should greet the ladies. If you will excuse me gentlemen.'

He left his tackle and strode off towards the house, entering by the side door and after crossing the entry and hearing that the party gathered in the saloon did indeed include Elizabeth, he hurried to his rooms to change from his sporting clothes. Ten minutes later, he opened the doors of the north saloon.

Elizabeth had just returned to her seat when the door opened again. He stood poised for a moment before proceeding, his eyes captured by her presence. The light was subdued as the room faced north and her face was slightly shadowed. He had not uttered a word but she seemed to sense his presence and lifted her eyes directly to him. And he was lost. He had no wish for awareness of anyone else. His sister looked up and watched as her brother looked at the woman he loved. She looked back to Elizabeth and saw a woman flushed with the advent of new emotions. He slowly became aware of the room watching them and managed a few steps into the room towards Elizabeth.

Miss Bingley was first on her feet, moving to greet him like a long lost friend. He gave her a tertiary bow and moved immediately to stand in front of Elizabeth. She saw him enter with a flush of excitement but as he moved to her, she panicked, her feelings too recent to ignore her surroundings. As he approached, her excitement wilted to regret as every pair of eyes in the room observed them. She had no choice but to lower hers as his voice resonated through the silence.

'Mrs. Gardiner, Miss Bennet, I only just heard of your visit and felt I must return to the house to greet you.'

'That is most kind, Mr. Darcy. And has Mr. Gardiner been successful?' replied Mrs. Gardiner.

'I am afraid my fish have yet to make an appearance, ma'am.'

'Oh, Mr. Darcy, I am sure it has something to do with the weather,' stated Miss Bingley. Mr. Darcy completely ignored her and turned to Elizabeth, causing the other occupants to not only look at he and Elizabeth but also between themselves.

'Miss Bennet, I hope you are still enjoying your stay in Derbyshire.'

'I am indeed, sir,' she said looking up at him. As their eyes met, she once again regretted his appearance. It was quite impossible to think clearly.

'I see my sister has brought out the best of our fruits. I hope you find them enjoyable also. The peaches are particularly sweet this year.'

'I have yet to taste a peach, sir. The grapes though are quite delightful. You have your own hot house sir?'

'Yes, we do. It was built some twenty years ago by my father. Derbyshire is a little far north for transport of some fruits so he thought it best to grow his own. My mother was particularly fond of entertaining and the hot house allowed her a wider choice of fruits and vegetables.'

'Do you entertain much, sir? Pemberley is far too beautiful to hide.'

'And far too large to hide, I suspect, Miss Bennet,' said Mr. Darcy with a smile. 'I do not entertain as much as I would like. A single man has...my sister and I have guests during the late summer and again at Christmas.'

'But this year we have been absent until now, dear,' said Miss Darcy.

'You are right. We must endeavour to make better use of Pemberley.' He turned back to Elizabeth, determined to continue speaking, afraid that if he ceased, he might never have the courage to begin again. 'Has my sister shown you through the house Miss Bennet?'

'No sir. We have been enjoying the rest here.'

'Georgiana, you must show Miss Bennet the pianoforte. I am sure you both have an equal interest in music.'

'And I am sure we do not,' replied Elizabeth, just as determined to allow words to form breaks in her emotions. 'I could never hope to be as proficient as your sister undoubtedly is. I cannot bring myself to practise sufficiently. I am always about walking.'

'And there is still so much to see of Pemberley. Perhaps your visit to the district might allow a further tour. I am sure my sister would assist you on further walks,' he said looking to Miss Darcy.

'I ... I would love to show you about the grounds, Miss Bennet. Perhaps my brother could accompany us.' She looked up and smiled at Mr. Darcy who only chanced upon it from the corner of his eye as his direct vision was for no one but Elizabeth. The lady herself was too overawed to look at anyone. His attentions were now for all to see including Miss Bingley, who despite holding a stilted smile felt a great degree of unease. However, not wishing to appear desperate she decided to speak to Elizabeth herself and in the process ensure that Mr. Darcy was reminded of Elizabeth's associations.

She began by asking Elizabeth if the loss of the regiment from Meryton was proving a great loss to Longbourn. The room stilled with the reference as the unspoken name of Wickham ricocheted around them and Elizabeth knew that for Miss Bingley to speak so in front of his sister, meant that he had never spoken of the incident to anyone other than herself.

'It has brought little change in the district, Miss Bingley,' replied Elizabeth, hoping that her response would end the topic.

Hearing a slight stirring from Mr. Darcy, she braved a quick glance and found him nervous and with a slight blush. Miss Darcy was even more flushed but looking down. He looked at Elizabeth with an earnestness that she had never seen before and it instilled her with the strength to continue.

'We are all quite content at Longbourn, Miss Bingley. I think a district is always best with its own occupants.'

Mr. Darcy's apprehension lessened gently as he listened to her quiet and resolved tone. She had once again proved herself the very best of ladies and his love rushed to his face with a guise of absolute adoration. She smiled back but could not hold his look. It was too new, too raw and she needed to still her own heart before she could possibly feel herself.

'I feel it is time we departed, Miss Darcy. It was most kind of you to entertain us so delightfully,' said Mrs. Gardiner.

Mr. Darcy's heart stopped. She could not leave, not yet.

'Perhaps you would like to stay and return with your husband, Mrs. Gardiner,' he said, his voice tinged with desperation.

'I am afraid we would be a long time waiting for him to finish his sport, Mr. Darcy. He seems to have no end to it. Thank you once again but we must leave.'

Elizabeth stood with her aunt, barely three steps from Mr. Darcy. She looked closely at his waistcoat but felt that previous inability to look at his face while standing beside him. Thankfully, Mrs. Gardiner began to move to the door giving Elizabeth a reason to move away from him. As she passed, she inhaled the scent of him, an occurrence that she was yet to grow accustomed to. He in turn, looked for her scent, longed for it, as it saturated his body.

The small procession moved to the entry and then outside where the sunlight caused them all to squint. Mr. Darcy moved passed Elizabeth to assist Mrs. Gardiner into the carriage. He then turned to her and almost in unison she lifted her hand to his. As his fingers wrapped around hers, he felt nothing but the need for them to continue up her arm, around her body and he strengthened his grip slightly as if in protest to his thoughts. She glanced quickly at him, sensing more than she knew of his touch and stepped into the carriage, managing to hold his grasp until the last. He said goodbye quietly, needing only her to hear his words. His bow was also only for her before he tapped the carriage to move it out. He stood until it had passed through the gate then returned to his sister.

Inside, Miss Bingley and Mrs. Hurst had been discussing Miss Bennet in terms not likely to engage Mr. Darcy. Miss Darcy sat in silence as they proceeded and was a little surprised to find that they did not change the subject when he returned.

'They will be back tomorrow, brother,' said Miss Darcy on his return.

'Heh, yes.'

Miss Bingley saw her chance and began with a précis of Elizabeth's apparently changed appearance including her deeper colour and blowsy hair.

'A somewhat deeper colour is expected in all travellers in summer,' he replied.

Not gaining quite what she was after, Miss Bingley decided to enhance her description with details of Elizabeth's other seemingly detrimental attributes. She began with the width of her face and proceeded through her lack of bloom, her non-descript nose, her ordinary teeth and her malicious eyes. The adjectives were all her own and had she seen fit to at least attempt some reasonably fair portrayal she might have helped her case much more but such a biased account could only bring down the wrath of her host.

Mr. Darcy, however, chose not to reply. His mood was darkening to such a point that he felt it wise to remain silent. By now, Miss Bingley was feeling all the power of a woman in charge and charge she did, finalising her report with a smart quote about Miss Bennet made by Mr. Darcy on first entering Hertfordshire. If Miss Bingley had been of more astute intellect she would surely have not repeated it, for a man so obviously besotted does not wish to be reminded of his past indiscretions where the lady of his choice is involved. However Miss Bingley saw nothing but her own cleverness and thus could expect nothing but his greater one. Thus as the words left her mouth, they rang in his ears and he retorted boldly that his opinion had changed entirely and he spat back at her that Miss Bennet was now without doubt, the most attractive woman he had ever seen. He marched out of the room, leaving Miss Bingley to wallow in her own stupidity in the presence of her sister and his.

In the carriage, Mrs. Gardiner was almost as desperate as Miss Bingley but in quite the reverse attitude. She longed to discuss the morning with Elizabeth and even more wished to discuss the master of Pemberley with Elizabeth. But neither subject could be broached, Mrs. Gardiner knew not how to begin, and Elizabeth did not wish to begin. She had too much to think of and words could only distract her from her thoughts.

Mr. Darcy returned to his fishing companions and found the catch only improved by one and a paltry one at that.

'Did you catch this Bingley?'

'I did indeed.'

'Paltry effort, sir.'

'Paltry! I will have you know it is the only one caught.'

'And best left in the pond in my opinion,' said Mr. Darcy, smiling.

'Your meeting was successful then, Darcy?' replied Mr. Bingley.

'Quite so, thank you.'

'If such meetings are always to improve your mood so, I think they should be repeated often.'

'In charge of my meetings as well now, Bingley?'

'Someone needs to keep you in check.'

'Mr. Gardiner, you must excuse Bingley. He is quite impertinent.'

'Quite right though,' replied Mr. Hurst.

Mr. Gardiner began to laugh followed quickly by Mr. Bingley and Mr. Hurst.

'I will not be mocked by my guests gentlemen,' said Mr. Darcy in a less than jovial reply. He had never been comfortable as the object of comment.

'My apologies, Darcy. I should not have said it,' said Mr. Bingley sincerely.

'Your apology is accepted, sir. Now if you will excuse me, I have business to see to. Please do not leave without coming to the house Mr. Gardiner.'

'I will do no such thing, sir. You have been a superb host allowing me to fish your waters. I would not presume to intrude on your house sir. I will return to Lambton without further imposition.'

'Then good day, sir. You are welcome back at any time.'

'Thank you, sir. You are most generous.'

Mr. Darcy walked back to the house and his own reverie while Elizabeth avoided her aunt's looks for the rest of the day as they sat quietly together at their work. They were invited to dine with old friends that evening and Elizabeth felt it was most fortuitous. Her uncle had returned at four o'clock and as she retreated to her own room, she overheard her aunt questioning him on his opinion of Mr. Darcy. They had now aroused the interest of all those immediately in their presence and it was impossible to remain objective under such scrutiny. He took no chance to show his love for her and coming so newly to the minds of her relatives meant some explanation was mandatory in their minds. But to her, it was not so resolved and until she was sure of the depth of her own affection, she must remain within herself. Of affection for him she now had no doubt. Her heart had leapt as she saw him and had continued to leap at her every thought of him. Was this love or was it infatuation? No, it was not merely infatuation because that she had experienced before. This was a yearning beginning deep within her and bursting forth at the mere sound of his name. His presence beside her brought an additional flush ending with thoughts that could never be expressed by a lady.

Mr. Darcy enjoyed an afternoon of business, pleased with his concentration in all things not Elizabeth. The evening meal was as expected with Miss Bingley quite reserved and retiring early to plot her next move. By ten o'clock he was left alone with his sister and only became aware of his bliss when she placed her hand on his arm.

'She will here tomorrow, Fitzwilliam.'

'Yes,'

'I am happy for you brother dear.'

'I wish I could be happy for myself.'

'From what I read, a man in love is rarely happy. Is it not your job to be wretched with anguish and anxiety?' she said laughingly.

'Then I perfectly fit the heroes of your novels, my dear.'

'I must retire so that I am rested for tomorrow. I will try to be the perfect hostess, Fitzwilliam.'

'You always are. She is...I am sorry that Miss Bingley...'

'Do not say his name, Fitzwilliam. I cannot bear it. I was so afraid that his name would be said in this house. I did not know how...in front of Miss Bennet and all. I am glad she knows nothing of it. I would dearly love to be her friend.'

Mr. Darcy remained silent. He could not tell Georgiana of his letter and his disclosures. That would always remain between Elizabeth and him.

'I hope you have that chance, more than you could know, my dear. Now to bed. I must accompany you. We both have much thinking to do,'

'You more than me, brother.'

They walked arm in arm to the upper level where he left her in her rooms. His suite was of a comfortable temperature, neat to a pin, nothing extraneous on show, no evidence of anything other than a single man of wealth might possess. He remembered it back when his parents occupied the area and the variety of different objects that scattered the dressers and tables, small, simple and pretty things and all the stuff of a lady. His father had always demanded fastidiousness in all things except his rooms leaving his son to wonder what made that part of the house so special. Such childish thoughts. No man in love could ever wish for the bleak and austere character of his rooms. A man in love would wish to see her things and smell her scents in every part.

He fell asleep quickly and happily, sensing that tomorrow may bring his hopes to fruition. He would know when he saw her. He had no doubt that she would show him if she thought him worthy of a second offer. His last thought was of her hairbrush, glimpsed once at Netherfield and captured in his dream lying in the dressing room that waited silently for her.

Chapter 38

Posted on Sunday, 17 August 2003

He woke with a start, his body jerking as his nerves rebelled against his tension. Instantly he was wide awake, his eyes roaming his room but not allowed to tell his mind what they saw as it dwelled only on her. Elizabeth would come tonight and once again he would have her in his home as well as in his heart. Yet the night would be filled with his guests and her relatives. He would have no time alone with her and that was what he needed more than anything else. It would be impossible to contrive any separation from the party without drawing even more attention to his desire. And until he knew more of her desire, he could not permit his attentions to draw so much notice as had occurred yesterday.

In no more than a quarter of an hour, he had resolved his problem. He would visit her this morning and suggest joining her relatives on a walk through the village. There perhaps he would gain some time with her and judge her wishes. He may even be able to broach the subject of Miss Bennet and his friend and decide on a course of action. He called his man from the dressing room and in the usual efficiency of his household, he was bathed, dressed and breakfasted within half an hour. Word had been sent to the stable and his mount was waiting as agitatedly as his master for the morning ride to Lambton.

In Lambton, things were also off to a somewhat early start, at least from the ladies' point of view.

'You did not tell me of all your conversation with Mr. Darcy,' said Mrs. Gardiner to a very sleepy husband.

'I did not have a conversation with Mr. Darcy.'

'But you were with him at the river. What did he say of Lizzy?'

'He said nothing of Lizzy, my dear. We spoke of fish.'

'But you must have told him we were visiting as he arrived promptly.'

'I did indeed mention your visit to Miss Darcy and Mr. Darcy felt it his duty to call on you during that meeting.'

'I will not have you teasing me, Mr. Gardiner. You must have seen his affection for our niece. I am so happy for her.'

'My dear, you are sounding far too like my sister.'

'And you are sounding like our brother. Mr. Bennet would also choose to ignore any attachment. And I am sure that the gentleman is attached.'

'I must agree. Mr. Darcy is a man showing advanced stages of distraction where our niece is concerned. However I see more shyness in our Lizzy than outright affection.'

'I think she is overwhelmed. She will not speak of him to me but I must think that there has been more to their connection that simply a few weeks at Netherfield.'

'She did say he was in Kent, dear,' Said Mr. Gardiner.

'She did but she spoke of nothing to bring this on. I cannot believe that his affection is something new. He seems quite resolved to please her and yet shows no reserve so common in the newly attached.'

'So you are saying that a man of Mr. Darcy's connections has been in love with our niece for some time.'

'I am indeed. And from what I have seen, he is exactly the kind of man that Lizzy needs. She would not be happy with less, sir.'

'If the attachment continues, less is hardly what she will suffer. The man has extraordinary attributes in his favour.'

'The best of which is that he is in love with our niece.'

'And in that I must agree, my dear. The great Mr. Darcy in love with Lizzy. Quite outstanding. Now will you please tell the lady to be in love with him.'

'What an extraordinary thing to say, sir. I cannot tell Lizzy to love Mr. Darcy.'

'Please Mrs. Gardiner, I have yet to discover all of your favours but those of persuasion are well practised. Perhaps I should say, please tell Lizzy to know she is in love with Mr. Darcy. I am sure it is there but it needs yourself to secure it.'

'And you, my dear husband, are a hopeless romantic.'

'Because you have made me so. Just as Lizzy has made of Mr. Darcy. We mere men must be ever on guard from such strong minds.'

Mrs. Gardiner laughed as she called the maid to assist in her dressing. Mr. Gardiner was almost out the door when he turned back.

'Are we walking this morning?'

'Yes, and tonight we dine at Pemberley.'

'Of course. We cannot have a day without Mr. Darcy,' he said grinning as he closed the door behind him.

Elizabeth had now been away from home for nearly three weeks and she had yet to accustom herself to the changes that had occurred in her feelings. She had left Longbourn too aware of the frailties of her family and still feeling some reproach towards Mr. Darcy for pointing them out to her. And then he had been there, looking at her across the lawn and immediately she saw the man instead of just hearing his words. He had smiled and she had begun to lose herself with not one moment of regret. His politeness had been first, washing over her reserve leaving her open to his charm. And charming he had been. Not obsequious and fawning like Mr. Collins, but gentlemanly, smart and full of humour. He was everything that she had ever admired in a man and he loved her, And slowly over the last three days, he had seeped into her heart, showing her that his love was not youthful and convenient, but mature, deep and forever. He loved her enough to forgive her cruel words and ignore her background. He loved her for no other reason than that she was Elizabeth.

Smiling to herself, she wished so much that Jane was with her. She was only now one and twenty and she needed her sister to talk with and help her to understand her true feelings. She missed Jane dreadfully at such times and particularly when she had received no letters from her. She had been especially disappointed on her arrival in Lambton at having no post because it was the one village that Jane knew Elizabeth would visit. But there was nothing to be done but anticipate the evening when once again she would be in his home.

She breakfasted at eight o'clock and was about to leave with her aunt and uncle on a morning tour of the village when the innkeeper's wife knocked on their door with two letters for her, one of which had been written much earlier but had been directed mistakenly. Elizabeth was quite desperate to read of word from home and her relatives had no problem leaving her alone to do so. She settled down at the table relishing the thought of reading Jane's letters.

Mr. Darcy set off without a word to his guests. This visit must be his alone and any suggestion of it to them might provoke a desire to accompany him. The morning was clear, the temperature rising quite quickly, and he found the breeze created by the ride a welcome relief. He had no wish to appear flushed in any way when he saw her. He entered the village from the south end and trotted slowly towards the inn. As he approached he noticed her aunt and uncle further up the street and his hopes rose. She was not with them. Just as quickly they sank as he wondered if she was otherwise engaged.

Jane's first letter was sheer delight with her moderate language and wonderful descriptions of the engagements and parties that the family had attended. Everyone was delightful, the weather mild and Elizabeth was just settling back with a smile when she reached the second sheet of Jane's first letter. It seemed that Lydia had left Brighton and not alone. She had left for Scotland with none other than Mr. Wickham. Elizabeth could not believe that Lydia would be so silly but then Lydia was always silly. Married to Mr. Wickham and under such circumstances. And then slowly the realisation of this act began to seep through her. How could she tell Mr. Darcy this and yet how could she conceal it.

She hurried to her second letter, hoping that it was all untrue or some wild exaggeration of Lydia's. Perhaps it was only what she wished rather than what had taken place. However the very first of it only made things worst. Further news had been brought from Brighton. It seemed that they were not for Scotland. Instead they were known to have gone to London. Elizabeth's heart sank. The Mr. Wickham she knew of would never marry Lydia if she had already agreed to go with him to town. No in this Elizabeth had no doubt. And gradually her mind became filled with Mr. Darcy's letter, each phrase leaping at her, leaving no room for doubt. Mr. Wickham wanted only one thing from Lydia and when he had that and was tired of it, he would leave her. It was without doubt the most complete ruin of herself and her family that she could ever imagine. Jane's letter was filled with anguish at her absence and desire to have her with them during this trial and she felt she must escape before it spread to Pemberley and she felt the turn of his affection. For if anything was to turn it, the relation of Mr. Wickham would be it. She must find her uncle.

Mr. Darcy entered the inn determined that she was away and not daring to hope for a lone visit. The appearance of Mr. Darcy twice in the one week brought great interest to the innkeeper and servants and his request about the young lady, again for the second time that week, brought extra attention. He noticed the looks but had no time for village gossip. He must speak with Elizabeth. The servant guided him upstairs and opened the door to the rooms. As it swung back, he saw Elizabeth rush towards it, her face pale, her manner distressed.

She looked up at him, her eyes filled with tears, her hands wringing. He took a step towards her, sure that she would fall, as she begged to leave him even before he had begun. His ignorance of the situation increased his immediate anguish to a level beyond hers as he exclaimed and cried for a reason for her demeanour. He had never seen her so distressed. In fact, he could only imagine that it was the result of the demise of a dear relation. He begged to be allowed to carry out her task for her or to request a servant to do so.

She looked up at him and saw in his eyes the strength she was lacking. He seemed to surround her with his purpose and character and she sank into it, desiring nothing more than to have him care for her. She called the servant back and told him to fetch her relatives, all the while feeling Mr. Darcy encompassing her with his love. As the servant departed, she sank into a chair, Mr. Darcy ready to catch her at the slightest chance. He thought nothing of them being alone there. After all it was what he wished most. and so he stayed, sitting beside her begging to assist in any way.

His kindness, his love once again overtook her as she burst into tears and told him of the news from Longbourn. He listened without comment but his breathing increased at every new revelation and reached its peak as Elizabeth blamed herself for not disclosing what she knew of Mr. Wickham.

He wished to say much to her but he was stunned himself that Mr. Wickham could repeat his act. That he could once again seduce the affections of a young lady. At least in his sister he saw some motive other than the puerile but with Elizabeth's younger sister there was only one reason to be thought. He sat near to her, allowing his finger to gently brush the back of her hand. Improprietous he knew, but impossible to resist. She did not withdraw or start as she felt his touch. It was the briefest suggestion of physical connection and the sweetest she had ever known.

Her self-blame hurt him the most. How could she think that this was her doing when all the while he was the one who knew all of Wickham? Her distress and pain did nothing to clear his own thinking and he exclaimed his shock in such a tone that she felt nothing his loathing for all this and could not help but wonder if it included her. He sort confirmation of it all and in that she was definite. He then sort an idea of what had been done for Lydia and in that also she had word of her father's trip to London and his desire for her uncle's assistance. As she spoke Jane's words, her mood deepened even more as she realised the hopelessness of forcing a man of such low character to stand by her sister. Mr. Darcy also felt the hopelessness of the case and could offer nothing that would lift her spirits or give her hope in any way.

She sank further and further into self-recrimination for her silence and as she spoke he moved away from thoughts of Elizabeth into a mood as dark and sombre as she had ever seen on him. He did not even seem to hear her any longer. Mr. Darcy had indeed only one thought, revenge. Yet there was nothing to be done to secure revenge on such a man. At least not yet. For now he could only think of the degradation it would bring to Elizabeth and her family. That such a man could roam the earth continuing in his amoral manner feeling no disgrace except to others. His mouth straightened and his brow creased and as she looked at him through bleary eyes she saw nothing but his displeasure. She sighed quietly, her love to new to feel anything but timidity in such a situation. She was losing him before she had even realised she wanted nothing but him.

She spread her handkerchief over her hands and spread her face within it, hiding what she could of her humiliation at having him know the wrongs of her family. Her sobbing was lessened to small shudders, engulfing her with a grief that shut him out. He watched with no less grief at her situation, hating Wickham, loving Elizabeth. He was sure that if he confronted the man right now, he would have no hesitation in killing him. His manner remained tense, fighting the impulses of mankind, and it took some minutes before he realised that his presence was causing her even more pain. He could not be in such a mood with her. He must deal with his demons alone.

He leaned once more towards her, his voice strained with emotion and told her that he must be gone, that his presence with her was agony because he could not help her. His voice brought her back to the room again and without looking at him she felt the strain he was under being with her. He expressed his disappointment at not being able to help and although his mind was racing through desperate means to do just that, she heard only paltry reasons for his leaving her. He continued to speak, not thinking of his words as he realised that she would not be dining at Pemberley.

She cried inside at his desiring to leave her yet she could not expect him to stay when nothing could ever resolve their situation. They were lost to each other by events that neither could control. She took a deep breath shaking herself free of her self-indulgence and managing to speak clearly, thanking him for his kindness and wishing him to apologise to his sister for her absence. Without thinking she asked for his confidence in this and without thinking he accepted. They, neither of them, had ever doubted the discretion of the other and neither seemed to realise the intimacy of such a union of thought. His final words were simply those of any departing visitor.

As she stood, he strode towards the door, words impossible to express his feelings. His greatest desire in the world was to hold her. Her greatest desire in the world was to feel his arms around her. But the path of their love was too crossed to allow them to look at each other with more than agony. He had to leave before his emotions took control of his mind and she saw him going with no other thought than his urgency to be out of her sight. As the door closed behind him, she dropped to her chair again and sobbed into her hands. He saw only her family's failure, in that she was sure. She would never see that look of love in his eyes or feel the warmth of knowing that she was everything to him.

Mr. Darcy quietly closed the door and stopped to gather his sense of reason. He took three deep breaths, refreshing his body, calming his mood. How he wished to walk back into her, to hold her. But it could not be. She would have none of him now. She must despise him for allowing Wickham to behave as he has done. It was all within his power to stop it. One word and he would have been gone forever but his need to protect his sister had allowed the act to be repeated and repeated in the worst and most despicable way. He could not stay with Elizabeth knowing that he was to blame for all of this.

Elizabeth continued to sit in her own desolation, sure that her preference for Mr. Wickham, together with her failure to acknowledge what she knew of him, even to her father. She knew enough of Lydia to be sure that his attentions were not honourable as her charms had been unwittingly distributed amongst whomever she was with at the time with no thought of the consequences. As she contemplated what had become of them all, Elizabeth had a desperate yearning to be at home, encompassed with the calmness of Jane and the vagaries of her family's moods. Despite their failures, they were hers to have forever and she needed each and every one of them at this moment.

Her aunt and uncle appeared so quickly that she thought they could have met Mr. Darcy on the stairs, but no word from them confirmed it. They heard Jane's letters, and knowing less than Elizabeth, thought the matter might be resolved. During the rush of their departure Mrs. Gardiner remembered their proposed visit to Pemberley and said that she had been told Mr. Darcy had called that morning. Elizabeth had resolved to show little of what she felt and simply stated that he had been at the inn and that he was aware they would not be dining at Pemberley. Mrs. Gardiner hurried off to pack repeating Elizabeth's words. How could things be so easily settled unless the man was aware of all the happenings? Yet surely Elizabeth would not have disclosed Jane's information to Mr. Darcy. Such thoughts distracted her from the anguish of their return home as the way in which Elizabeth had spoken suggested a connection between them much deeper than suspected by any.

Mr. Darcy's ride to Pemberley was fast and somewhat reckless. In fact he rode through the gate to the stables without any thought of how he had got there. His thoughts were only on Wickham. Until he had resolved what to do, there could be no thought of anything else and as much as he wished to think only of Elizabeth, in a truly manly fashion, he must set her aside until his task was done. He entered through the side door and was immediately called to the saloon by his friend.

'Darcy, where have you been? We were to ride this morning and it seems you went without me. I do feel I will have to secure a much better host in future.'

'I am sorry, Bingley. I had business in Lambton.'

'Darcy? Business in Lambton? I think not. Now tell me, was she as beautiful as you found her yesterday?'

Mr. Bingley's comment almost brought a smattering of mirth to Mr. Darcy's face.

'She ... she had news from home. I...they are to leave today for Hertfordshire.'

'Today! Darcy, is the news grievous?'

'As far as I am aware, the family is all well. I can say no more Bingley.'

'Do you know more?'

'A little but ...Charles, I cannot speak further. Please, you must excuse me. I have business to take care of. I hope you do not mind riding alone.'

'Of course I mind, and I will not ride alone. Caroline will make a poor substitute for you, Fitzwilliam.'

He placed his hand on his friend's arm. 'She will be safe. Her relatives will always care for her. You need not worry.'

'Indeed I must worry, Charles. Thank you. I shall be about my business. I shall not be at lunch but I am secure for this evening.'

He walked off to his rooms to change, think, and consider what could be done.

Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner and Elizabeth began their return journey within one hour each filled with the various thoughts that such a morning could bring. While Elizabeth could only think of the misery of the morning and of her future life, Mrs. Gardiner looked closely at her niece in the hope that their confinement in the carriage might bring her to speak of her dealings with Mr. Darcy and the ensuing sadness. Mr. Gardiner had more forthright things to think of as he considered the best way to deal with such a situation. He thought it over for some time before saying that he felt that Wickham must have been intending to marry Lydia because to do otherwise was to bring disgrace on himself and his regiment.

At this Elizabeth was surprised as she was sure they were not for Scotland. Mrs. Gardiner felt that they might have gone to town because it would be more expeditious for their limited income. Elizabeth, however, was adamant. He would never marry a lady without fortune and although she wished to think better of her sister, she knew in her heart that she was frivolous and flighty and would think only of the moment. Her aunt and uncle persisted in thinking that Mr. Wickham was not that bad and Elizabeth had to point out the wrong doings he had spoken in Hertfordshire particularly the pride of Miss Darcy which her relatives could only agree with, that he had been very wrong to state it so. As the conversation and musings continued, Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner began to suspect that Elizabeth knew much more of Mr. Wickham than they had ever suspected and wondered why Lydia did not also know.

Elizabeth then spoke of her time in Kent, hiding nothing of her constant companions in Mr. Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam and her resultant choice to keep the news to herself on her return as the regiment was about to leave. They wished to know if the family had any inkling of the attachment of Lydia to Mr. Wickham and in this Elizabeth could only dismay. There had been nothing that she saw to indicate such a rash move.

Mr. Darcy spent the afternoon in his library, thinking only of Wickham. Could he secure safety for Lydia by intervening? Would Elizabeth forgive his interference? He had no right to be part of this but he had no right to allow her to suffer so. It was all his doing. He had thought it was simply to protect his sister but now that these further events had occurred, he knew that it was also for himself. He had wanted to protect his family, his name, from any censure. And yet it was all Wickham's doing. Georgiana had been a pawn in his schemes for revenge. Revenge! How he wished it could be so. His anger built through the afternoon to such a point that he wondered if he could face the evening with his guests. He paced, thought, paced and thought some more and it was with some surprise that he heard the evening dressing bell.

And meanwhile the long day's travel continued, taking Elizabeth away from him as fast as possible with each milestone showing her the physical reminder of their emotional distance. They travelled long that day, wishing to spend only one night on the road and so it was quite dark before Elizabeth found herself once more alone.

She bathed and retired immediately, ready for an early start and hopefully Longbourn by the next afternoon. She cried a little that night, for herself, for Lydia, for her family, but mostly for what had never happened and now never would. As surely as he loved her, she was sure that she would have loved him. In fact she suspected that she had already crossed that blurred line to join him.

Mr. Darcy entered the drawing room last, his guests all ready to enter for the meal. He escorted Miss Darcy to her place and took his own at the head of the table. His guests sat in their usual places, talking merrily and contemplating the arrival of the Sandbys and Dannons during the following week. He had forgotten all of this in the tumult of the day. He must write and ask them to postpone their trip. He listened in that way a man does when words are of no significance, hearing one or two, ignoring dozens. Miss Bingley persisted in calling him out and nothing but a severe frown would stop her.

'Mr. Darcy, we so missed you this afternoon on our ride, did we not, Charles? You simply must ride with us tomorrow, sir.'

'Tomorrow? I cannot.'

'But why sir, surely you have no further business after spending the afternoon alone.'

'I may be returning to town, madam.'

'Town! Oh Charles, please stop him going. After all we have only just arrived Mr. Darcy, and now that Miss Bennet has returned to Hertfordshire, I am sure you will not feel the obligation of past associations.'

He looked up at her and frowned again. 'My obligation to Miss Bennet encompasses much more than past association, madam. I thought I had made it clear that I find her one of the best women of my acquaintance. I would seek her company at any turn.'

The table became silent as his words crept down its length. His sister smiled at him and gently nodded, while Mr. Bingley just grinned. Miss Bingley and her sister attempted to ignore it as they concentrated on the fish. Mr. Hurst simply raised his eyebrows at his wife ensuring their evening would not end well. The gentlemen moved with the ladies to the drawing room, having no need to spend time with each other. Mrs. Hurst played while Miss Bingley tried for whist with the remainder of the party. By ten o'clock and despite constant attempts at distraction, Mr. Darcy had made up his mind. He stood erect and addressed his party.

'I have need to be in town and will be leaving before breakfast. I hope that you will all excuse my absence. I hope to return within a few days. In the meantime, I hope you will take up the duties of host, Bingley, and make sure that your sisters and Hurst are well looked after. Georgiana, I am so sorry to leave like this but it must be done. I will write as soon as possible. If you will excuse me, I have arrangements to make. Good night.'

He strode from the room, taking the stairs two at a time. He bathed immediately in preparation for his travel. He would take his man and send a servant ahead with news to town. He wished all things prepared on arrival. He slept well that night, a result of taking action, although what that action would be was yet to be determined. He only knew that something must be done and if the resolution was not satisfactory or failed completely, then he knew not what he would resort to. He only knew that Wickham would no longer be able to continue after this. He woke without aid from his man, dressed and left without eating.

The carriage jerked forward as soon as the door was closed and he leaned back happy to see the milestones pass as they brought him closer to Elizabeth. Not that he could see her. He had no wish for her to know of his dealings in this matter. He could not bear to feel her obligation to him in any way. If he had any hope with her it had to be as it had always been, on their terms alone. If she was to love him, it must be safe from the actions of either, without favour. It must simply exist between them as palpable as the trace of her scent or the feel of her hand beneath his fingers.

Continued In Next Section