The Object of Her Choice

Posted on Tuesday, 24 August 2004

"Elizabeth, still more affected, was earnest and solemn in her reply; and at length, by repeated assurances that Mr. Darcy was really the object of her choice, by explaining the gradual change which her estimation of him had undergone, relating her absolute certainty that his affection was not the work of a day, but had stood the test of many months suspense, and enumerating with energy all his good qualities, she did conquer her father's incredulity, and reconcile him to the match." - Jane Austen, Pride & Prejudice, Chapter XVII of Volume III (Chap. 59)

Part 1- Cool Hands, Warm Heart

It was a cool fall day, the sky still filled with clouds from the previous night’s late rainstorm. Elizabeth Bennet rolled over in bed and lazily stretched. Gray-soaked sunlight had invaded her sleep. She regretted that the invasion of light had ended the lovely half-remembered dream, but smiled as she thought of her fiancé coming to see her in person later in the day. She blushed as she thought of the dream becoming reality. His arms about her, his body against hers, his low and gentle tone as he spoke words of love and leaned down to kiss her... She rolled to her side and clasped her arms about herself. Amused with her fanciful dreams and imaginings, Elizabeth laughed and leapt up from the bed.

The floorboards were cool against her bare feet. She grabbed her shawl and moved quickly to the door. She laughed in surprise when she opened the door to find Jane standing immediately on the other side, hand poised to knock; then Elizabeth smiled brightly at her sister.

Jane said, "I was hoping you might be awake, Lizzy."

With an exaggerated gesture, Elizabeth invited Jane into the room. Then she closed the door firmly, turned and leapt back on the bed. She arranged the covers a bit so that her sister might have a seat as well. Jane brushed an errant curl from before her eyes. It was then that Elizabeth saw the shadow in those eyes. The smile fell from her face. Concerned, she asked, "Jane? Whatever is the matter? Are you unwell?"

Jane shook her head and clasped Elizabeth’s hand. She said, "I am well, Lizzy. It is only..." She looked down and whispered, "Are you afraid?"

Elizabeth’s brow furred in puzzlement. She replied, "Afraid? Of what?" She looked at her sister carefully, reading her body language as much as her tone and words. Jane obviously was afraid of something. Her skin was splotchy about her chest and neck. Her hands were like ice. Elizabeth rubbed Jane’s hands between her own, offering warmth and reassurance.

Jane looked up at Elizabeth with wry amusement. "I suppose that you fear few things. I envy your bravery, Lizzy. I am not so brave. I was up half the night thinking." Here her words came more slowly, tinged with dread. Elizabeth watched the way that Jane bit her lip, the way she trembled. Jane took a deep breath and continued, "I’m afraid of what I’ve done!" Her eyes grew very wide and round. "On such brief re-acquaintance I’ve agreed to accept his proposal!" Elizabeth leaned forward and embraced her sister comfortingly.

Jane began to cry. "He believed me indifferent to him, he says, but he left me! How can I know..."

As the tears fell to her shoulder, Elizabeth felt her heart ache. It seemed that all the emotion that Jane had held in over the past year was finally coming to the surface. It had now been over three weeks since Jane had agreed to marry Charles Bingley. Only days before, Elizabeth had followed suit and accepted his best friend, Fitzwilliam Darcy.

Jane continued, "How could he have believed me indifferent?" The sobs wracked her body. Elizabeth felt tears come to her own eyes as well. Knowledge of her fiancé’s role in Jane’s misery was a weighty secret on her heart.

Jane pulled back and forced herself to stop crying suddenly. She jerked to her feet and moved quickly to the window. When she turned back, her face was very pale, but her tears had stopped. She asked, "Do you think that I am capable of love, Lizzy?"

With an anguished cry Elizabeth ran to her sister and hugged her. Jane remained stiff, her arms by her sides. Elizabeth cried, "Of course you are, Jane! You are the kindest and most gentle and most loving person I’ve ever known!" She pulled back and looked at her sister in confused concern. She led Jane back to the bed.

Jane sank down weakly, half-sitting, half-leaning against the bed. She whispered, "Charles kissed me last night. I was so frightened and… unsure. I know that he was disappointed. He must think me very unfeeling!" She put her head in her hands and resumed crying.

Elizabeth sat back and looked at her sister in surprise. She asked, "When did he kiss you?"

Jane avoided her gaze and replied, "After dinner, in the hallway."

Elizabeth struggled to recall the previous evening. Immediately after dinner the gentlemen had gone to join Mr. Bennet in his library. Jane had gone to get her shawl as the gentlemen left. She had returned moments later and had not said two words together for the rest of the evening. Elizabeth had been content and their mother had been so verbose... Then the gentlemen had rejoined them and she had enjoyed sitting next to Mr. Darcy. A pang of guilt washed over her. She’d been so caught up in her own thoughts that she’d not noticed her sister’s distress.

Elizabeth curled one cold foot under her leg, warming it. She leaned towards Jane, "What makes you think he was disappointed?" She felt a strange mixture of emotion. She felt keenly out of her depth and even a bit envious of her sister. Darcy had not kissed her. He’d not tried or looked as though he might wish to. And Elizabeth had apprehensions of her own when it came to ‘marital duties.’ She and Jane had been avoiding their mother’s attempts to enlighten them on the subject since they had become engaged.

Once again, Jane dried her tears. She took a deep breath and searched for the words to express her feelings and her fears. Elizabeth took her cold hand and gave it an encouraging squeeze.

Thus it was that Mrs. Bennet found her two eldest daughters on the morning that she gathered her courage once and for all and shared with them her knowledge of the duties of a married woman.

Part 2- The Birds and Bees in Mrs. Bennet’s Bonnet

Elizabeth looked up with horrified apprehension as the door to her room flew open. Mrs. Bennet swept in and shrilled, "My dear, dear girls! Well thank goodness I’ve found you together. We have so much to do to prepare for the wedding! The seamstress will be here again this morning. And your Aunt Gardiner is coming tomorrow. I only hope she brings the right lace with her. I am sure that she won’t and we shall be in such a state! There are so many other things that can go wrong. But before it all happens I must explain some things about being married." She waved her handkerchief nervously and moved towards her daughters.

Jane moved toward the door, muttering something about getting ready for the day. Mrs. Bennet stopped her with a small shove back to the bed. She said, "No, Jane. Stay. We must talk about it. You will be married women in just two months. There are so many ways I need to guide you before then and not enough time! Oh, my nerves! How shall I bear it all?" Mrs. Bennet sat down heavily on the bench before Elizabeth’s vanity table. She pressed her hanky to her mouth as she sought the best way to begin.

Elizabeth looked about the room, wishing she could think of a way to distract her mother. Not finding any, she resignedly focused on her mother’s lace hanky as it was waved about. The errant hanky was far easier to attend than her mother’s expression.

Again Jane made to leave and again her mother directed her to sit, "Sit, Jane! Girls, you are engaged to be married women. That means that you are going to be living with your husbands." Elizabeth’s eyes moved up and down, following the motions of the nervous handkerchief. Mrs. Bennet continued, "It also means that from time to time..." Here she paused and took a deep breath. "From time to time you will even share a bed with your husbands." Mrs. Bennet paused again and looked to see her daughters’ reactions. Jane seemed very pale. Elizabeth only looked bemused... and somewhat distracted, her eyes shifting about here and there.

Mrs. Bennet frowned and spoke to the reaction she thought she understood. "Jane! Don’t look so frightened, my dear!" She cried in alarm. She patted Jane’s arm and continued, "Once you are married your husbands will... want to... share your beds, but not very often. It is perfectly all right. You don’t have to worry about it until the wedding night. After that tell him that the pain is such that you are unwell. That will be true enough. Then, you only allow it as much as is necessary. Soon enough you will have children and then he will leave you alone. You will have rich husbands, of course, so perhaps they might even keep a mistress or two and spare you such trouble!" Elizabeth gasped and her eyes left their pursuit of the handkerchief to meet her mother’s bubbly gaze, but Elizabeth found herself unable to form words or gather enough breath to speak. Mrs. Bennet smiled happily as she continued uninterrupted.

Both girls stared at their mother, dumbfounded as she continued her explanation of marital duties in more detail. Elizabeth’s glass-eyed gaze moved from her mother to the waving handkerchief and back again. Occasionally she merely closed her eyes against a particularly stunning part of her mother’s discourse. When Mrs. Bennet finally had told them all she felt they needed to know, she gave each girl a hug and left them, saying, "Now get dressed, girls! The seamstress will be here at any time. And your husbands-to-be will arrive in time for tea! You’ll put on your blue gown, Jane!"

Mrs. Bennet swooped from the room, calling for Hill and for Sara to assist the girls. Elizabeth looked at Jane. Jane looked at Elizabeth. The phrase "enormous manly part" yet ringing in their ears, neither girl was capable of speech. Jane went to her room without a word.

It seemed to Mr. Bennet that his two eldest daughters were uncharacteristically quiet throughout that morning. And that they both blushed profusely whenever they looked at him. In typical fashion he dismissed any concern he felt and adjourned to his library.

Mrs. Bennet did not really notice that only the sound of her voice entirely filled the morning. She never had before, and this day was no different. Kitty, one Bennet girl without mortified sensibilities, was quite capable of responding to her mother’s tirades. The morning passed quite pleasantly by Mrs. Bennet’s reckoning.

What Jane’s thoughts and feelings were, Elizabeth could not even guess. Her own thoughts were a mishmash of confusion and apprehension. She was roused from her reverie as her mother shrilled to the seamstress, "And did you know that Lizzy’s fiancé has ten thousand a year?! So rich!" Mrs. Bennet squealed as she had every time she’d said the same thing since Elizabeth had told her she was to be married. Mrs. Bennet chortled with greedy glee.

The seamstress looked up from where she knelt next to Elizabeth and said quietly, "That’s quite a reason to marry, ma’am." Elizabeth blushed in embarrassed anger. Jane looked at her in a quiet and reassuring way.

It occurred to Elizabeth in that instant that there would be many, even among her acquaintance, who would think money her reason for marrying Mr. Darcy and Jane’s reason for marrying Mr. Bingley. They would concede that the men were handsome, to be sure. But many would think the girls no better than fortune hunters. An image of Miss Bingley came to her mind. She thought of the contempt with which she had regarded that young woman’s tactics with Mr. Darcy. Then an image of George Wickham came to her mind. She felt nauseous as she thought of being regarded in the same light as her new brother.

After the seamstress’ departure, Elizabeth went to her room to rest. Despite all her efforts to regain her composure, as the many new thoughts of the morning grew in her mind she found herself less and less content. She finally rejoined the company shortly before tea time.

Part 3- A Tempest of a Tea Time

When the gentlemen arrived, it was the beginning of one of the most awkward visits they’d ever paid to Longbourn. On entering the parlor, Mr. Bingley ventured a shy glance at Miss Bennet. Miss Bennet, who was very pale, only looked at the ground. Mr. Bingley felt another pair of eyes upon him and looked to the curious gaze of Miss Elizabeth. On meeting her gaze, his face was overspread with the deepest blush.

Mr. Darcy, always the most reticent of the group, looked about him as his companions reacted to each other in ways he did not understand. He noted that Elizabeth seemed to be studying her sister and Bingley intently and that they both seemed out of spirits. He was made uncomfortable by the additional attention Bingley’s silence brought to him. Mrs. Bennet, always one to fill any silence, began to talk to Mr. Darcy when she found his friend unresponsive. Darcy heard little that his mother-in-law to be was saying, but nodded and murmured agreeably to her as he studied the company about him. Before he knew what she was about, he discovered that he had encouraged Mrs. Bennet to share a letter from Mrs. Wickham with the company.

Darcy glanced at Elizabeth and saw an expression of genuine horror overcome her visage. Elizabeth had also received a letter from her sister, and in it she had read such sentiments as she would hope to never acquaint Mr. Darcy with. Her reply to Lydia had been designed to end such entreaties in the future, but of course had not reached Mrs. Wickham before her latest letter to their mother. Mrs. Bennet began to read:

"Dear Mama,
I am so excited to hear about Lizzy and Jane’s engagements. It is time they both married, especially Jane! I always thought Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy very handsome, even if Mr. Darcy was rude to everybody. They are so rich that I know they will be able to provide very nicely for me and dear Wickham. I have written to both of my sisters asking that they convince their husbands to help us out. Do all that you can to make them! I know that once they are married they will be able to convince their husbands to do anything."

Here, Mrs. Bennet paused and giggled. Elizabeth, mortified to within an inch of her life, leapt from her chair and burst out, "Look! The sunshine has come out from the clouds. Perhaps we might walk into Meryton!"

Mrs. Bennet exclaimed, "But I am reading Lydia’s letter, Lizzy. Hush!" She made to continue, but was interrupted by the more imposing of her daughters’ suitors.

Mr. Darcy spoke up and said, "I would like very much to accompany my fiancée if the others also wish to walk into Meryton, Mrs. Bennet. May we, please?" He stood and looked beseechingly at her as he made the request. Mrs. Bennet nodded in an awestruck manner and agreed to the plan. Bingley and Jane mutely stood and followed Elizabeth and Darcy from the house.

After the two couples left the house, Elizabeth saw Bingley pick a flower along the path and hand it to Jane. They exchanged a tentative smile that seemed to begin easing some of the awkwardness between them. Elizabeth seemed to look carefully to her footing, not meeting Darcy’s gaze at all. This should have prevented her from making a misstep, but she did so anyway, tripping on the hem of her gown. It was a minor misstep, but one that allowed Mr. Darcy to take her arm in the guise of assistance. He asked, "You are not hurt, are you?"

Elizabeth kept her hand on her fiancé’s arm and sighed. She replied quietly, "Only my sensibilities, thank you."

Darcy grimaced sympathetically and waited for her to continue. When she did not, he said, "You refer to your sister’s letter?"

Unhappy and embarrassed, Elizabeth only nodded in reply. Darcy guided her from the path, leaving Bingley and Jane to continue on alone. Bingley nodded appreciatively to his friend. Darcy led Elizabeth to the ample shelter of a nearby tree which afforded them privacy. There, he leaned against the very large tree trunk and guided Elizabeth so that she did the same next to him, facing him. He pulled her gloved hand to his lips and kissed it. He closed his eyes for a second as he did so, but released her hand shortly thereafter.

Standing there, Darcy looked down at Elizabeth’s down-turned face and said, "Do not trouble your self, dearest. I do not blame you for your sister’s actions or her words. I am only sorry that I was not paying attention when your mother suggested reading the missive. I would have known that it could not come to any good. I confess I was not really paying attention to your mother. My rudeness was unpardonable and created a situation which brought you pain. I apologize."

At the sound of the word ‘rudeness’ Elizabeth blanched. Darcy again took her hand and kissed it. He said, "I was not referring to your sister’s assessment of my previous behavior. Though that, I deserved as well. I was referring to the fact that I ought to have been paying heed to your mother’s words to me." To his credit, Darcy even managed a small smile.

Elizabeth still looked unconvinced and pained. Now it was Darcy who frowned. He put a finger below Elizabeth’s chin and upturned her face. He said, "All is well, dearest. Please do not distress yourself needlessly. It cannot be so bad. Your sister’s main request, while impossible to grant, is not altogether unexpected. It is something that we shall have to overcome together."

Elizabeth had already guessed at the amount of pin money she would have on their marriage (from her mother’s comments) and decided that she might easily economize and assist her sister. So, Darcy’s calm reaction to Lydia’s boorishness only strengthened her resolve and increased her respect for her fiancé.

His finger still at her chin, Darcy looked down at Elizabeth seriously for a long moment. He then moved to reclaim her hand in his and moved to put a bit of distance between them. Elizabeth felt an irrational disappointment. She did not realize that it showed in her eyes. As she was not looking at Darcy at that moment she did not see the small, rueful smile that came to his lips. Impatiently, she removed her bonnet and laid it on the ground nearby.

His expression again serious, Darcy asked, "Even before your mother began reading that letter you did not seem yourself. You seemed quite concentrated on Bingley and Miss Bennet. Moreover, Bingley was not at all his usual self this morning. Is there something else which is upsetting you? Did something happen?"

Elizabeth thought over the events of the morning and uttered a sound somewhere between a laugh and a sob. Tears came to her eyes and she wiped them away in embarrassment. Darcy was startled and unconsciously pulled closer to her. He cried out, "Elizabeth! What is the matter? What has happened? Are you unwell?"

Elizabeth pushed forward past the invisible barrier between them and moved into Darcy’s arms. She buried her face in the front of his coat and cried.

Part 4- A Deeper Understanding

Elizabeth cried for several moments. Eventually she calmed down and then she closed her eyes, enjoying the way that Darcy held her close to him. It was the first time she’d been in his embrace. Her head lay against his shoulder, both of her hands grasping the lapels of his coat. He leaned his face down against her hair. His arms were firmly about her, one hand gently stroking her back. She listened to the sound of his heartbeat. It was very soothing. Her breathing became more regular. She felt the breeze ruffle her curls and saw a bird fly by. She idly noticed that Darcy’s hat had fallen to the ground when she’d thrown herself against him.

When Darcy felt that Elizabeth was calm he asked, "What can I do?"

Elizabeth pulled back slightly so that she could look up into his face. When he leaned down and kissed each tear-stained cheek she stopped breathing for a moment. She felt a thrill of anticipation course through her. Trying to reconcile this sensation with her mother’s words of the morning left her confused.

Darcy pursed his lips for a moment and pulled back from her. He reached into his pocket for a handkerchief, wiped her tears and cleared his throat as he looked off into the distance. Stubbornly, Elizabeth drew closer to him. He now looked slightly alarmed, she thought. Again he lifted her gloved hand to his lips and placed a kiss there. He then kept her hand within his own.

He asked, "What has occurred to upset you so, dearest?"

Elizabeth felt tears prick her eyes again at his tone. She smiled through her embarrassment, ducked her head and replied, "Oh, nothing and everything! Have you not been properly cautioned as to the mercurial nature of my moods yet?" Her tone had become self-disparaging, but amused at the same time.

Darcy smiled warmly, a most becoming expression. He said, "I think you are wonderful."

Elizabeth laughed at the simple joy in his words and said, "You, sir, are biased in your thinking."

He replied easily, "It has been many months since I allowed any prejudice to blind me to your charms."

She laughed again, more heartily. She said, "Yet you have proven most reticent where those charms are concerned, sir." She blushed deeply as she realized that the words had been spoken aloud.

Darcy stopped and looked at her in surprise. He quickly looked down and took a deep breath as though preparing himself for an unaccustomed effort. Then, with a look of happy determination, he said, "Have I? Then I... must have thought that as... such ideas flowed through my mind constantly... they were also known to you. For shame! I think on your many virtues most constantly." He blushed as he struggled to find proper words.

Elizabeth bit her lip to keep the sudden uneasy joy from bubbling forth in a laugh that might discourage Darcy from his efforts. She said, "Bravo, sir! I am... almost... entirely convinced." She then gave him a broad, impertinent smile. Again, Darcy looked slightly alarmed behind his contented smile.

Elizabeth turned away from him and threw out her arms. She twirled in a circle ‘til she felt dizzy. Darcy put a steadying hand on her arm and pulled her back against him. She craned her neck and looked up at him. He smiled down at her and wrapped his arms about her middle. He said, "I would that you would share your thoughts with me, Elizabeth."

She nestled back against him and looked forward again. Her look grew pensive. He stayed very still and waited most patiently. Finally, Elizabeth began, "Jane was... worried... this morning. I think that she has held in much over the past year and that she is facing it now."

Darcy asked quietly, "What was she worried about?"

Elizabeth pressed her lips together as she considered both his question and what her answer ought to be. She replied, "I am not certain of all of the particulars. I believe that she worries that Charles will somehow regret his choice of wife."

Darcy replied simply, "Not possible." He sighed deeply.

Elizabeth continued, "I think that she sees accepting his proposal as a... momentous choice. I look forward to my aunt’s arrival. I think that her calm manner will do wonders for Jane’s fears." She looked down at the ground.

Darcy noted the word ‘fears,’ nodded and said, "I am sure that your Aunt Gardiner is of great comfort. But I think that perhaps there are things that we need to discuss." Elizabeth noticed that Darcy put a great emphasis on the word 'We.' As she remained silent, Darcy continued, "Do you think I ought to explain my role in hers and Charles’ separation?" His arms tightened about Elizabeth’s waist.

Elizabeth leaned back against his shoulder and looked up at him. She was surprised that he so quickly grasped the cause of Jane’s confusion, but also comforted to find him so concerned. She blushed and said, "I am uncomfortable talking of Jane and Charles. I think that they need to solve this for themselves. If he chooses to tell her... which I know that he has not up until now... well..."

Darcy kissed Elizabeth’s cheek again. He said, "Very well. Let us discuss your fears, then."

Elizabeth stammered, "M.. my fears?" She stepped away from Darcy and remained facing away from him.

Darcy, continued, "Though I am aware that you bear your sister the utmost affection, I suspect that perhaps you share some of her fears. You have also accepted a proposal of marriage. Has this awakened fear in you?"

Elizabeth whirled around and faced him. She said, "I cannot wait to become your wife, Mr. Darcy."

Darcy smiled tenderly. He said, "Thank you. I share the sentiment." Elizabeth bit her lip. Darcy continued, "Do not doubt my affection for you, Elizabeth." She blushed and looked away. Deliberately, Darcy grabbed her hand and pulled her against him. He wrapped her in his embrace, then ran his hands up her arms and cupped her face in his hands. He looked intently into her eyes. He said, "I love you. I have loved you and... desired you for most of the past year... many, many months." His voice grew husky as he felt her tremble against him. He leaned down so that his face was very close to hers, his lips very close to hers. He whispered, "You are the most wondrous woman in the world. I want... very much... to show you my affection." He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against hers.

Elizabeth’s head swam as she listened to him. She felt tears come to her eyes again as she absorbed his words. She sank against him again and enjoyed losing herself in his embrace. She murmured, "Thank you, Fitzwilliam."

He wrapped her deeper in his embrace and whispered, "You are most welcome." He savored the feel of her close against him and then asked, "What comfort do you expect from your aunt?" As he asked the question, a suspicion formed in his mind. He pulled back and looked down at Elizabeth’s face. Quietly, he asked, "Did... your mother... discuss... anything that has upset you?" From her look of distress and the blush that suffused her face and neck he realized his suspicion must be correct. He kissed her on the forehead and assured her quietly, "You are precious to me, Elizabeth. Please trust me."

She struggled to begin. She said, "I do trust you. I do. Mama means well... but..." She shuddered. He felt the movement and tightened his arms about her again.

He said, "I am glad that your aunt arrives tomorrow." He kissed Elizabeth on the forehead again and muttered into her hair, "She is not only a woman of good sense, but she is happily married..." He tensed, anxious that Elizabeth might be angered by his assessment of her parents’ marriage. She looked at him and nodded in understanding, without reproach.

Then she pulled away and began to pace back and forth, the events of the day simmering to a boil within her. She considered his words and said, "You are correct. Mama did not speak to us of joy or love. Instead she spoke of..." Elizabeth felt very embarrassed, but saw compassion in Darcy’s face. She felt fortunate as she realized that she could trust him completely. She said, "I was left with so many fears!"

He quietly encouraged her, "Please allow me the opportunity to allay them."

She took a deep breath and finally the words poured forth, "Mama cornered us with her explanation of marital duties. It was awful and she made it all sound horrible. She even says you will take a mistress and I should be pleased if you do!" His eyes widened. She shuddered again. "And poor Jane! Mama told us this after I’d just learned that Charles kissed Jane last night and she was frightened by that and worried that she is incapable of expressing her love for him." Tears threatened again. She hesitated, but finally admitted, "And I felt jealous that he had kissed her! What does that make me? Wanton?" She threw her hands up helplessly. Darcy started at the word, looked surprised, and tried to reach for her to calm her, but she paced on quickly and continued her frenzy.

She whirled ‘round and looked him in the eye and continued breathlessly, "When Jane talked of having made such a momentous decision as marriage based on short acquaintance it did awaken like fears in me, I confess. So much emotion! I am deliriously happy, yet I fear losing this happiness." Frustration began to show in her expression and tone. "Everyone thinks that I marry you for your fortune! I had to convince even my father that love was my motive in accepting you! No one knows what you mean to me. It is all so… strange. I love you so very much. Do you really love me? Do you really desire me?" She wrung her hands. She stopped for a moment and looked at him. Then she cried, "Oh! Listen! I’m as overwrought as my mother!" Her look became one of astonishment.

Darcy was amused despite his best intentions. Elizabeth suddenly straightened up, indignant as she realized that her fiancé was stifling laughter. As her eyes flashed at him, Darcy bit his lip, smiling. He leaned toward her, grabbed her arm and pulled her to him. As he did so, Elizabeth’s expression softened and she began to smile. Happiness suited him so very well.

Darcy’s desire to laugh quieted and he pulled her closer. He pulled her against him and ran his hands up her back and to her face. This time he did not stop as he drew near. He leaned his head down so that their lips nearly touched. Then, just as their lips were about to meet, he exerted a measure of self-control. Though he had pulled her to him forcefully, Darcy now slowed as he crossed the last small distance to Elizabeth’s lips. His first kiss shimmered into her. One of his hands left her face. His fingers lightly skimmed down the side of her neck. He barely pulled back, and then kissed her again. With this kiss, Elizabeth felt that Darcy trembled as much as she did. In his trembling she felt a hunger, a need that matched the heat that coursed through her. His hand lightly stroked her neck. She moaned and nestled closer against him. He kissed her again, more deeply, with more apparent hunger.

Elizabeth moved one hand up to his broad shoulder and mimicked his motion, lightly running her fingers up Darcy’s neck above his cravat. A slight moan escaped him. She wished the cravat were not in her way. As it was, she moved her fingers to the back of his neck, up into his hair. The hand that Darcy had kept against Elizabeth’s jaw now slid lightly down her side. She gasped. When his hand reached her waist he held it there. He started to pull back from kissing her, but she would have none of that. Elizabeth pulled his head down and kissed him.

Darcy’s knees were so weakened that he was indebted to the tree’s support. After Elizabeth hungrily kissed him a second time, Darcy released his hold on her and put both of his hands behind him against the tree, pulling back from her as best he could. He struggled to calm his ragged breathing. Elizabeth did the same, swaying slightly where she stood.

Darcy quietly and huskily said, "I do desire you, Elizabeth." She looked at him and nodded. She believed him now. He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it. He held it there for a moment while he downcast his eyes and reasserted self control. Finally he said, "May I respond to your concerns?" Elizabeth, nodded, unable yet to speak.

Darcy shook his head, trying to remember all that she had said; which was even more difficult as he caught himself staring at her lips. He shook his head again. Finally he said, "First, as to... marital duties, we may not approach the topic too nearly until we are married; but I will assure you that it is... my greatest desire... to bring you pleasure." He looked into her eyes and saw that she understood at least some of his meaning. He continued, "I do hope that, in the meantime, you will discuss the things your mother said with your aunt... as you can." He searched to remember the next. "Ah!" He looked slightly offended, stared into her eyes and said, "Know that I will honor the pledge I make before God to ‘honor you and forsake all others.’ There could never be another woman for me, Elizabeth. I love you and my desire for you is such, as I hope you now... believe... that all others pale into insignificance. Please realize that such is my love for you, dearest." Elizabeth looked stricken and apologetic. He kissed her hand again and said, "Worry not, my love. I shall gladly prove my passion for you again and again." He stroked her hair possessively. He searched his memory and continued, "Jealousy that I’d not kissed you..." He smiled and leaned down and lightly kissed her again. He murmured ruefully, "My reticence was due to a fair assumption that once such feelings were... ignited... they might prove more difficult to repress..."

As he pulled back, she smiled and said, "Too reasonable by far, my love! I was right to wish you would, though, Fitzwilliam." Delight sparkled in her eyes.

His eyes smoldered as he savored her response to him. He kissed her again and murmured against her lips, "Your self accusation of ‘wantonness’ is one I wish to explore at leisure once we are properly married. For now, I think it safest that we leave off discussing that point... I shall simply dream of it incessantly." Her eyes widened and she blushed. Darcy closed his eyes and moved away again. He said, "Finally, the ridiculousness of the thought that you would marry for monetary consideration... No one knows better than I that such a thing is impossible. I realize that many people delight in pointless speculations, though. You and I know the truth. Only by the grace of God am I fortunate enough to have found you and finally won your regard. I love you. I love hearing you profess the same. Our understanding is all that matters. I am honored that you have chosen me, my love."

Elizabeth sighed happily and said, "And I am delighted with my choice."

Finis