Posted on Monday, 22 September 2003
Lizzy awakened this morning to reflect upon the lack of future possibilities in her life, never knowing that this day would prove to be one to bring her quite the opposite.
When Lizzy awoke on the morning of her twentieth birthday, she reflected on her life as it had thus far befallen. She was still living in her father's house, still with her four unmarried sisters, and still without any prospects of marriage. All her life she and her older sister, Jane, had talked of and envisioned what they had expected each year on the anniversary of their birth, and somehow had always expected to be married long before this time. Lizzy had indeed expected it to be so especially for Jane, who was the classic beauty with an inner refinement, which was part of her personality, and not learned from books or schooling. Everyone loved and adored her as she could think ill of no one, and was kindness and graciousness personified. The fact that she was still unmarried when it was her heart's desire to be married meant only two things to Elizabeth as she reflected this day. The first was that there were too few or even maybe no eligible bachelors of means in the neighborhood to be entranced by such a lovely creature as Jane. And the other thing Elizabeth decided with a degree of regret was if Jane could not find someone to love enough to marry; then there was absolutely no hope for any other of her sisters including Elizabeth.
She raised her eyebrows and sighed with resignation, and rose from her bed to sit at her dressing table. Taking the hairbrush and beginning to comb out the tangles from her thick dark locks, she decided that even if there had been an abundance of suitors enough for all her sisters, she still would have probably remained single. Unless she found someone extraordinary, someone whom she could respect beyond reason, trust beyond her self, and love beyond measure she vowed never to marry. And to find someone of that stature was well beyond reality, for that person did not exist, never would exist, and if he did exist, she would never find him in this small village of Meryton.
How wrong her ideas would prove to be in a short duration of hours. Just at that very moment the Fates were orchestrating a meeting that would stand every notion she had regarding the perfect man on end. It took the form of a carriage coming down the lane just a few miles from the near obscured entrance of the drive to Longbourn.
Elizabeth had dressed and donned her bonnet and gloves for an early walk in the crisp autumn air. She slipped out the back of the house, and into the vast expanse of lawn toward the paths she had trodden all her life, now so familiar she could travel each in the dark, and know each footfall and dip.
She followed the path along to the main road that led to other estates, and onward to the village of Meryton. So pleasant were her meanderings on the side of the lane, and deep was her reverie of the wonders all around her filling her senses, that she did not at first register the sound of hoof beats signaling the approach of a carriage from behind her. Likewise, the carriage riders took no note of their surroundings until a most distinctive "CRACK" sounded loudly, and the carriage lurched, spilling possessions and passengers about the inside of the carriage amid cries of surprise and fear.
Elizabeth too had been brought from her daydreams by the ominous sound so fierce that she knew something was terribly amiss. She turned round to see the carriage sliding on the three remaining wheels with the front crossbeam scraping a rut in the road, and the driver desperately trying to bring the carriage to a halt without upturning it. Pulling on the reins with all his might he tried to keep the frightened horses under control.
Frozen in place for a few seconds Elizabeth watched with dreadful fascination as the carriage careened towards her. Finally having the presence of mind to see the coachman's frightened face at the thought of running her over, she bolted up the embankment, a steep slope, and she managed to reach safety, tripping over a tree branch in the process.
With a monumental effort the driver, with the aid of the coachman and the grace of God, brought the carriage to a halt barely ten feet from Elizabeth. Both she and the men exchanged silent relieved looks before her legs began to quiver, and she had to kneel on the slope of the road, panting from delayed fear. The driver and coachman immediately jumped down to calm the horses so they would not to pull the carriage any further while the occupants remained inside. The door opened and a tall man jumped out. Then another two men emerged from the carriage and busied themselves with aiding the two ladies to exit.
Since the other men were rendering assistance to the ladies, the tall gentleman looked about surveying the entire situation. That was when he spied Elizabeth still on the side of the road with a frightened look upon her face. He went up to her calmly so as not to frighten her more, and said quietly, "Miss? Miss? Are you injured, Miss?"
When Elizabeth didn't respond, her mind focused on the now still carriage, he bent down beside her, and touched her arm lightly. She looked up to him finally able to pull her eyes away from the carriage; she blinked several times and stared at him as if only now realizing he was before her.
He held her arm and noted her continued daze, and repeated as she allowed him to aid her to rise. "Miss, are you injured?"
"Yes...no...I mean..." stammered Elizabeth. "I am unharmed, sir."
"Are you certain, Miss? You seem unaware of your surroundings."
As he still held onto her arm, he could feel her trembling. But as he watched, her face took on a most serene expression, showing none of the fearfulness he had just seen in her eyes just moments before. He knew, however, that it was merely a mask she had assumed because he could still feel her trembling beneath his touch.
"Yes, sir. I am sufficiently calm again, I assure you," she said with confidence of someone used to being taken seriously.
She looked down at his hand, which was still gently on her arm, but for some odd reason beyond his own comprehension he simply didn't wish to remove it and walk away from her. Instead he suggested, "Would you come with me, down to the road, Miss?"
She silently hobbled down the embankment with both her hands in his as he helped her down the slippery slope to gain the level of the road once more. He then walked her over to the rest of the party, noticing that she must have sprained her ankle in trying to avoid the carriage, but it did not appear too serious. Her face showed no discomfort, but he felt her tenseness in the gentle touch of her hand on his arm. How odd, he thought that he could read her mood by such a light touch, something he thought he only had the ability to do with his sister from their being so close to one another.
As they neared the others who were gathered in the road beside the tilted carriage, the gentleman proceeded to make introductions.
"I am Mr. Darcy, and this is Mr. Bingley, his sister Miss Bingley, Mr. and Mrs. Hurst," Darcy said formally.
"My name is Miss Elizabeth Bennet, and-"
"Girl! Surely there is some water here abouts," the taller thin lady interrupted, her regal dress swishing under the heavy pelisse. She had the air of the haughty rich, used to being waited on hand and foot. She looked at Elizabeth with such distain, and asked again, "Girl is there some water near? Go fetch me some, and be quick about it."
Elizabeth's eyebrows raised and her mouth opened with an expression of one who was not used to being ordered about like a maid, and had she been this woman's maid, she would have quit to search for a better position.
From her expression of surprise the other two men realized at once that Elizabeth was not a person in anyone's service, although her dress was by no means grand, she had the demeanor of that of a gentlewoman. The fair-haired gentleman who had been introduced as Mr. Bingley smiled saying, "Excuse me, Miss Bennet? My sister is in some distress. Is there a stream near where I can get her some refreshment?" His smile disarmed the tense situation, and Elizabeth could not but return his gentle friendliness.
"Yes," replied Elizabeth responding at once to his generous nature. "Just beyond the slope there is a small brook that runs through the trees parallel to the road. The water is clean and cool there." She pointed the way.
"You are most kind," he said and smiled again bowing before returning to the carriage to retrieve a cup. Having made sure his sister was comfortably seated; he went over the slope to search for the brook, and returned in very little time. Caroline drank some and then poured some water to wet her handkerchief to apply to her face and neck. She then offered and remaindering water to her sister who thanked her. Neither of them showed Elizabeth the least consideration, which made Elizabeth merely arch her brows and remain silent.
The taller gentleman could be seen with a wry expression as he noted how Miss Bennet handled herself against the obvious slight of Miss Bingley. How well she must think of herself to feel able to deflect such a cold reception from ones higher than she in society. "Do you live near since you are afoot, Miss Bennet?
"Yes," replied Elizabeth focusing on him now, her gaze steady, but not haughty. "I live quite close from our present location."
At first Darcy thought perhaps they were mistaken about her nobility, that perhaps she indeed was part of the working staff trying to make ready the opening of Netherfield for the Bingley's. "Is that estate where you reside called Netherfield?"
"Indeed not, sir," she laughed, and his heart skipped a beat when he heard such a bright musical sound, so full of lightness and mirth. As she continued to speak he found he had to concentrate on her words. "My father's estate is adjacent to Netherfield, and is called Longbourn. There are but three miles between the two estates. We are only a few miles from Longbourn's entrance, well within walking distance for you to receive help."
Finally registering what she had said he stared intently at her until she had to avert her eyes. "We are that near to aid? Why did you no say so before?" He accused, his haughtiness returning.
She stared at him again with a mischievous expression. "You, sir, had not yet thought to ask," she chided back, not at all intimidated by his sudden air of superiority.
With her gentle reprimand, he realized his tone was one of impatience and immediately softened it when he next requested, "If we go by horse, we would be there in a few moment's time. Can you tell my coachman where the entrance is located?"
"It is quite hidden now from the summer growth, sir, but I can show you if you care to walk."
"Can you not ride that we might receive aid much sooner?"
She hesitated at his suggestion, not wishing to make him aware of any weakness on her part. "I...would rather walk, sir," she finally replied meekly.
His intense gaze was even more disconcerting until he reasoned that all in his party were strangers to her and she might be distrustful of them. But since he had been the main spokesman for their party conversing with her, perhaps she would feel more comforted if he accompanied her. "If I were the one to accompany you to your father's estate, would you be more trusting, less fearful?"
"You misconstrue my discomfort, sir. I...I...am not proficient...on horse. I..."
He finished her sentence trying not to smile at her honest admission of her ineptness of an activity that he found so easily mastered, "you do not ride...at all?"
"Yes, but very infrequently, sir, and I am merely not proficient at it, sir," she corrected him, her chin rising to gaze defiantly into his eyes. "I find it not a productive use of my time when distances here are so short that walking suffices." He nodded.
"If I accompanied you, would you feel secure enough on the horse, Miss Bennet? The coachman would of course be astride the other horse."
He saw her swallow, thinking she trying to decide if she could trust him enough to share the horse. He leaned close to her so that only she could hear, and added, "You cannot walk so far on your injured ankle."
"How did you know of-" she began.
"I noticed when I helped you down from the slope."
"Oh."
She looked up into his hopeful face, and then at her feet and decided with a nod. He immediately turned to the driver and the coachman, telling them of the plan, and for them to bring down his saddle from the top of the carriage to be placed on one of the carriage horses, and to un-harness the other for the coachman to ride. Then he approached Mr. Hurst who had found a log formed bench to rest on with his wife, and informed him of the plan.
"Sounds like a sensible plan," he agreed having noticed his wife was a bit more shaken up than he would wish. "Go to it, man. The sooner you accomplish your task, the sooner we will all be more comfortable at Bingley's estate."
When Darcy told the Bingleys of the plan, Caroline was not too pleased with the idea of Darcy sharing a horse ride with some country chit. She wished to be the one to ride with Darcy, but knew at the moment how stupid that would sound without knowing which house belonged to this girl. She scowled at Elizabeth and sighed in resignation of the plan that her brother was of enthusiastically agreement to.
"She states that the drive entrance is no more than a few miles back, so we should garner help ere long," Darcy offered his friend.
"Then we shall await your return. I shall endeavor to keep them a merry bunch in the interim and will even obtain additional water from the brook before then. Miss Bennet was correct in that the water is very clean and cool, and quite refreshing, was it not, Caroline?"
"Yes, Charles," Caroline concurred with a disgusting sneer and an eye roll. "It was wonderfully refreshing."
Darcy turned while replying, "I shall return with the utmost haste."
Nearing Elizabeth standing by the horse he asked, "Are you ready, Miss Bennet?"
She took a deep breath and exhaled, feeling some apprehension at being in close proximity to such a large animal, but she nodded. Gathering her skirts, she put her foot in Darcy's interlaced gloved fingers, and he easily lifted her upon the saddle. She seated herself with her best imitation of riding sidesaddle facing forward with her right leg on the hump of the saddle. Putting his left foot in the stirrup he mounted the horse directly behind her, his arms wrapping around her to gain the reins. Her cheeks turned the brightest shade of pink as she felt the warmth of his body next to her back.
The horse, however, unused to carrying riders, pranced around a few steps as Darcy allowed this for a time, using his skills to allay the horse his nervousness at this new burden. Soon both were more comfortable with each other. The same could not be said for Elizabeth, whose face had paled, and she began to breathe in short tiny puffs without Darcy becoming aware of her unease. She was bounced around as the horse pranced, and had to turn more into Darcy's chest to lightly place her arms upon his chest in order not to fall off.
"You had best tighten you hold of me, Miss Bennet, to feel more secure."
Shyly she put her arms tighter around his chest while he quieted the horse. Then they were joined by the coachman riding bareback on the other horse, with most of the harness reins across his lap. They began to travel down the lane at a fast walk. She was silent and he felt her trembling against torso, which he had not noticed at first because he had been too focused on the horse. He tried to ease her mind with, "Miss Bennet, I assure you that I am a well trained rider and will get you home safely."
"I...thank you for the confirmation of your skills, sir. It would be a pity if you had invented your talents merely to impress."
"Miss Bennet," he replied in feigned insult. "You cut me to the quick. Does your lack of trust come from your having yet to see my abilities or of my boast at only owning to have them?"
"I...must admit to your abilities, sir...since we are still atop the horse," she responded lightly, her face serene, but he could feel that her trembling continued without abatement.
He half-teased her with his next reply. "Then trust me, Miss Bennet. You are in safe hands."
"Oh, Mr. Darcy, do I have any other choice in the matter?" she teased back, her tone taking on its usual aplomb, but he still felt her trembling against him.
"You can show a bit of faith, then, Miss Bennet," he teased her again.
"I...am upon your horse, sir," she teased back, but he heard a tiny gasp escape her. "Does that not show...at least some faith?"
"Are you now content then, Miss Bennet?"
"Yes, sir," she whispered as another tiny gasp escaped.
"Miss Bennet, are you sure?"
"I...am quite at ease, Mr. Darcy, I assure you," she said and smiled, but just then the horse sidestepped and she leaned into his chest, and he heard several more tiny gasps, inaudible to anyone further away.
He asked, "Miss Bennet, are you secure?"
He felt her nod against him, but make no further reply, which he found it odd. In light of what she had told him of her minimal skills of riding, he at first did not fully understand what would explain her current behavior, but he began to suspect.
Again he tried to tease her with his cheeky remark, "Keep your eyes sharp now, Miss Bennet, lest we miss the hidden entrance to your estate, and have to travel all the way back to London."
When she still gave him no response, he ventured a glance down to see she had her eyes closed, and felt her trembling increase. He was now assured of what he had suspected, that she was not merely slightly disconcerted at being on horseback, but highly terrified at being so, and was forcing herself to endure this task in order to aid a group of total strangers.
His mind could not fathom why she would put herself through such an ordeal other than her wish to give aid to misfortunate travelers, and a feeling of awe stirred in him about how selfless was her act. He was suddenly reminded of his conversation with his cousin as to the definition of bravery on the battlefield. Both the Colonel and he were in agreement that a true act of bravery was forcing oneself to a task while still feeling one's fear acutely. Darcy knew that he was witnessing just such an act at this very moment with what Miss Bennet was doing for him, and all his party. He wondered if he would ever have the kind of strength to overcome his fears.
His arm tightened around her, trying to gently reassure her as he spoke softly, "I am here, Miss Bennet and will let no harm come to you."
"Thank you, sir," she whispered back not resisting his tighter hold of her. It was then that he breathed in her lavender fragrance sending his mind reeling to thoughts of the gardens at Pemberley. He swallowed and wondered at how easily distracted he had become, and how he must keep his wits about him when around her. He blinked several times and looked about him asking, "Miss Bennet, are we near to your home yet?"
She saw the drive obscured by bush on the left side of the lane, and nodded. "Yes," she whispered so he had to lead his head close to her face, touching her soft cheek. She pointed and felt his arm tighten around her still trembling torso. Her calm voice belied her unease. "My...my father will give you the loan of our carriage after we...you explain you difficulties, sir."
"That is most kind."
"It is the neighborly thing to do," was her only response.
Just before entering the gateway and up the drive, the horse shied again and Darcy used his legs to direct the horse while both his arms now engulfed her in a strong embrace to ensure her safety, but not before she reacted in fright and gasped. He whispered in her ear, "I have you, Miss Bennet. You are safe with me. Do not fear."
As he held her close to his chest, he felt her sobbing softly, trying to regain her composure once more. "Shhhh," he whispered softly, holding her head now. "We are here now. You are safe at home again. Can you not calm yourself or do you require additional time?"
His gentle voice did more to encourage her than anything else, as she attempted to speak. "I...thank you, sir," she managed, controlling her tears as they neared the house.
He gazed into her face and watched as she masked her discomfort once more. Wiping away the last wayward drops she also wiped away the appearance of her fear, and her face was masked with a serenity that only her eyes betrayed. He witnessed her accomplish this in as few as ten seconds, and had he not before witnessed it on the road, he would not have believed she had a fear horses at any time.
The servant took the reins and Darcy alit first, and then reached up for her. She leaned down and put her hands on his shoulders and he placed his hands on her waist to help her alight. For the briefest time their eyes met, before he placed her feet on the ground, and they separated. She turned to the house with only a slight hobble, and he followed, holding her arm.
Before their encounter, he had wondered in the carriage if he would find something of merit while visiting with his friend in this little country village of Meryton. As if the Fates had answered him, he knew in the short amount of time that he had known her; Miss Bennet was a person worth getting to know better. Despite her obvious low connections he would pursue her friendship due in part to her selfless act, which showed such a nobility of her character. He had already noted her beauty and grace, and during their brief conversations he had discerned her intelligence and wit. It seemed this small village did have something of merit after all.
"Mr. Darcy?" She spoke bringing him out of his reverie. "Please come this way. We will mostly likely find my father in his study where you may explain your situation so that he might offer assistance."
He gazed at her, transfixed before her. Darcy had been captured by the light from her eyes, and could only manage saying, "Yes, of course, Miss Bennet."
She too stared at him likewise incapable of moving as she wondered how extraordinary it was that she had trusted this total stranger just now, who seemed respectable, intelligent, and honorable. How could such a man possibly exist, and how could he now be in Meryton? She swallowed and managed to turn from his intense stare to go down the hall to her father's study. And he followed her through the doorway and into...their destiny.