Beginning, Previous Section, Section XII, Next Section
Posted on Friday, 4 July 2003
She was now less than three weeks from her approximate delivery when she was awakened early in the morning with the first cramp of the day, cramps which had been going on now for at least the last week with no other symptoms. Jane had mentioned them too, saying that her housekeeper, Mrs. Bailey, had told her they were to be expected during this time, and so Elizabeth was not unduly alarmed.
But as she made her way to the dining room Elizabeth didn't seem quite herself. And during an incident at breakfast she experienced some odd mood swing that drove her to distraction. She had finally had enough of Darcy's antics it seemed when they sat down at the table and he proceeded to hand feed her. Elizabeth looked up to Mrs. Reynolds and silently pleaded for her to intercede with some idle task to remove him from the house for a few hours or at the very least have him leave the dining room. The older lady smiled and nodded.
"Master, the steward asked me last night if you could talk to him this morning of a matter he had been struggling with?"
"Now?" asked Darcy reluctant to leave Elizabeth's side.
"He said of it not taking up much time, sir," replied Mrs. Reynolds.
"Very well, then. I shall see him directly after breakfast," he agreed trying again to spoon food into Elizabeth's mouth. Again Elizabeth's eyes pleaded with Mrs. Reynolds.
"He said that he had some business that could not wait, but that he was available at the moment, if possible."
Elizabeth coaxed him with, "William, I shall be fine eating breakfast for the time you are away."
"Everything will be eaten that is before you?" He asked.
"Yes, my love. I promise." She smiled at him sweetly. He put her spoon down and caressed her cheek.
"I am sorry I will have to leave you just now. I shall return directly. He rose and kissed her temple and left the dining room.
She leaned back in her chair watching his departure down the hallway, and when she was certain he had gone Elizabeth whispered, "Rollo, come." The dog approached her as she put her plate before his muzzle and he happily lapped up her breakfast. She sighed and sipped her tea, and smiled up at the older woman. "I thank you, Mrs. Reynolds."
The housekeeper smiled and asked, "I was wondering when you would ask, Mistress. If it were I, he would have been going to London for weeks at a time by now. You have a lot more patience with him than I first gave you credit for."
Elizabeth shook her head returning the plate to the table as she patted the dog's head as Rollo licked his muzzle and went off to the corner to sleep. Elizabeth smiled, "But Mrs. Reynolds, I do so enjoy his company most of the time."
"Aye, and to own the truth, since you have come so do we all. The change you have brought out in him is remarkable after all the sadness in his life. He had become quite adept at hiding his feelings as he grew, but for myself who raised him from the age of four, his mask was never adequate. Now he hides but little from the world. You have made him so happy."
"I cannot begin to tell you how happy he has made me," Elizabeth sighed.
"Be that as it may, Mistress, whispered Mrs. Reynolds. "The steward and I have a few chores to keep him busy for a bit. Do not worry."
"Thank you," Elizabeth said as the older woman squeezed her hand. She had a cramp just then, but it went away directly, and as she waited, it didn't return. She told Mrs. Reynolds that she had been experiencing several of these over the course of the last few days, but Mrs. Reynolds allayed her fears, saying much as Jane told her that such pain was common long before the actual birth took place.
Soon after Darcy returned to her side. After apologizing to Elizabeth for having to leave her for a few hours, Darcy kissed her. Seeing that her plate was empty, he made her promise to take a nap after breakfast, and keep her walk close to the house. She was quite too large to go too far anyway.
But Elizabeth felt too energetic for sleep, and walked down to the stables to visit Sampson. Even though she would not ride, that did not follow that she could not take the horse for a walk with her.
The stable boy had already saddled and bridled him, even though he knew she had not intended to ride. Griffin said to her, "I jest wants for Sampson 'ere to get use to his new cinch, Missus."
She smiled and nodded to the attentive boy, and took the reins and began to walk the paths around the garden. It was a lovely day, for it was still quite early and the sun was not hot, so the walk beside her old friend would be pleasant.
They ventured further a field than normal, well away from the garden paths, and had gone about a mile, just stopping at a crossroads of two paths when the first intense contraction began. She leaned on the horse as she doubled over in pain. Sampson stood motionless to give her support. As the pain subsided she panted trying to catch her breath, and looked at her old friend.
"If I release you to return to the stables alone it will alert Griffin that I am here." Then when she had thought over her statement she added, "But I am too afraid to be here alone for long. Let us try to make our way back."
She pulled on his reins and they began the slow walk back. They had gotten about half way back when Sampson stopped dead in his tracks and he would not budge. Oh, no, she thought as she looked for danger along the path. She didn't see any snakes around.
Just then another intense pain doubled her over again. She gripped the stirrup tightly, holding her breath until the pain finally abated. Sampson had sensed it coming and stood still so she could lean on him for support. As the pain passed she rested her face on his warm neck, trying to begin to breathe normally once more. She noticed as she stood there trying to recover that this incident made her legs quiver.
She could not decide how long a time there had been between this one and the last one, but she knew she needed to be at the house where there was help. She rubbed his sleek neck, and whispered, "if only I could command you to kneel as William did so long ago in the meadow near Netherfield..."
It was then that the great horse did something she had only seen him do that once, had never seen anyone command him to do since. He knelt down before her, first tucking in one and then the other of his front legs. Amazed that he had remembered and obeyed a command from long past, she wondered if perhaps she could alight him. But not seeing how she could manage she asked him, "can you go further down?" Her hand movement as well as the command seemed to have some significance to Sampson for then down came his hindquarters, and he was at a height that she could climb on.
With tears in her eyes, she whispered a "thank you, Griffon" to the stable boy who had seen fit to saddle Sampson knowing full well that she wouldn't be atop him. She put her left foot in the stirrup and with great effort she pulled herself onto his back as men ride, with one leg on each side, her right leg trying to hug the horse's side, and she held onto the saddle, Sampson's mane and the reins. She was almost lying down on his neck so as not to fall off as she whispered, "You can rise and get up," truly not knowing which word if any he would respond to. But obviously one of them was the correct one for he heaved himself into a standing position by straightening first his front legs, then his back ones, and then he stood still.
"I am secure, Sampson,'" she panted. "Please take me home."
Sampson walked leisurely back through the grounds behind the house, but continued passed the stables and through the narrower paths of the vegetable garden never meant for a horse. He strolled up to the kitchen door and whinnied. The cook, at first was wont to shoo him away, but then saw he was carrying someone. "Help me," he heard her whisper.
"Mon Dieu!" He gasped, adding to one of the scullery maids, "Aller recevoir Madame Reynolds maintenant. Aller!" The maid immediately called for the housekeeper.
Mrs. Reynolds ordered the manservant to help Cook gently lift Elizabeth off the horse, to then carry the Mistress to her room, and for the maid to go have someone fetch the midwife. She turned around to the great beast and gently patted his head. "Good horse." Before she rushed back inside, not noticing that Sampson had shied away from a under gardener trying to grab his reins.
Mrs. Reynolds ordered the manservant to put Elizabeth on the bed and then leave the room, but Elizabeth insisted that he set her down to stand beside the housekeeper. When he left the room, Mrs. Reynolds and Martha, the maid tried to get Elizabeth to calm down.
"Is it time?" Elizabeth asked. "I thought it was to be three more weeks or so." Elizabeth looked worried.
"You cannot be sure, Mistress," Mrs. Reynolds said patting a cool cloth on Elizabeth's forehead. "This may not be true labor, or the babe may have decided to come early. We are not sure yet." Just then Elizabeth grabbed the housekeeper's and Martha's arms as she felt a gush of water come out of her.
"Oh, Mistress," Martha replied noticing the puddle forming around Elizabeth's feet. She gave a worried look to the housekeeper.
"Mrs. Reynolds?"
"Mistress," began Mrs. Reynolds. "I think your babe is wanting to be born this day."
"But is it not too early-"
"Now you should not worry about early babies, Mistress," she smiled back trying not to let her face show the uneasiness she began to feel knowing early births were dangerous. "Why, your own husband was about three weeks early himself, and he turned out fine." Mrs. Reynolds didn't mention the fact that his mother almost died after his birth.
"But-"
"Mistress, you need to rest for awhile. It will be a long time before the event."
"But-"
"I have sent for the midwife. She will be here soon to help you. In the meantime you have Martha -"
A slight sign of panic filled Elizabeth's voice. "You will be with me, will you not? You will not leave me, Mrs. Reynolds?"
"I shall be here as long as you wish, Mistress," she reassured her, patting Elizabeth's hand.
"And William," panted Elizabeth still clinging to Mrs. Reynolds arm. "You will have someone sent to fetch him as well?"
"We will take care of everything," promised Mrs. Reynolds although she was hesitant to have the master fetched just yet. He may cause more stress to this young Mistress than she needed at present. And in fact she decided to send a note to the steward to keep the master occupied for several more hours at least.
Martha sopped up the puddle and helped Elizabeth change her clothing while Mrs. Reynolds ordered the birthing chair brought in and readied. Towels and blankets were carried in as well as water and a basin. The fire was lit, and a large kettle of water was put on the crane arm and moved into the firebox to boil.
After awhile, the day dragged on, settling into a kind of routine. Elizabeth had more contractions but few intense ones. She felt well enough to get up and walk about the room. She wondered where William had been sent to that he had yet to return. She tried not to worry too much about it yet, but wished he were at least at the house.
The midwife finally arrived, to make her own determination. Mrs. Knolls had met Elizabeth one other time when she was not very far along, and of course at Jane's confinement,
and felt her to be a sensible girl who would follow directions when the need arose. Now that her time was near, Mrs. Knolls bent down and began a more hands-on examination of Elizabeth, silently feeling from one place to the next to get a clear picture in her head of just how the baby had positioned itself inside. Her hands were very slender, but had a strength to them that allayed Elizabeth of some of her discomfiture of this first time birth.
"When did you begin to gain the added weight, Mrs. Darcy?" Asked the elder woman finally straightening up to a standing position, and looking into Elizabeth's eyes.
"Within the last few months," she answered adding, "even though I have had little desire for food."
"And has your baby been quite active of late outside his usual routine of activity and rest?"
Now Elizabeth was attentive, and her eyes locked onto Mrs. Knolls wishing to know the reason for her questions. "Indeed, yes. I have had little rest from his antics of late-"
Just then a major contraction doubled Elizabeth over. Mrs. Knolls smiled and held onto Elizabeth's arms to give her support, and acknowledged what they all now knew.
Yes, Elizabeth was in true labor, and would probably have the babe within the day. Yes, she wanted her to keep walking about the room as the exercise does the process good. Yes, Have some broth sent up for Elizabeth to sip laced with small doses of motherwort to gently aid the progress of her delivery.
Elizabeth obeyed, and kept walking about the room trying to read a book in between time. Cowper, Shakespeare, nor Sterne could hold her interest long. She even tried Fielding, a suggestion from Charlotte, and found his works quite diverting for a time, but soon couldn't abide them either. Mary had given her a copy of Fordyce's sermons that were dry enough to hold her thoughts calm as well as give her new passages from the Bible to entreat the Lord with during some of her contractions.
She tried to keep her mind off the small table Mrs. Knolls had set up beside her birthing stool and the satchel beside it with several bottles of herbs and elixirs. Atop the table were several bottles, one of oil of lilies used for massages and another of oil of almonds, which was supposed to help with the birthing as a lubricant. Elizabeth had heard of those, but was disconcerted by some of the other items Mrs. Knolls had laid out during Jane's lying-in. There was laudanum, a bottle of wine, a glass and spoon for mixing the two, as well as a bottle containing bella donna. Elizabeth had heard it also called nightshade, and knew that both of those were used as sedatives. There was a bottle labeled as 'motherwort', which Mrs. Knolls used for Jane and now her to increase her mild contractions along. But there were other herb bottles Elizabeth was not familiar with on the table and still inside Mrs. Knoll's satchel by the table. Her eyes came back to the tabletop to view a large pair of scissors, of course, and a cord of rope as well as towels and a basin and a box of what Elizabeth thought was snuff. But then her eyes were drawn to a menacing looking tool, which she stared at with trepidation. Not remembering it at Jane's delivery, Elizabeth stared at this strange looking appliance, and had a sudden imagine its use; a tiny head in its grip, and covered her mouth to hide her gasp. Mrs. Knolls touched her arm gently.
"Mrs. Darcy, having never delivered a child before, I would like to tell you how things will proceed." Elizabeth nodded thankful that she could pull her eyes away from the table.
"Now, then, Mrs. Darcy. Let me just say that no birth is the same for even the same mother, so you must trust me when I say that in general this is the way the birthing progresses. You will have pains throughout the day and maybe into the night. I have some herbs that will aid in your pain, and some to aid your labor along. Mrs. Reynolds is instructed to have a bath readied for you as well to aid you if your discomfort becomes extreme."
Elizabeth nodded, but otherwise remained silent as Mrs. Knolls continued. "After I have made certain that you are ready to deliver we will help you to the chair, and I will instruct you on when to bear down. But if I tell you not to, you must obey me. Do you understand?"
Again, Elizabeth nodded without comment. "Good. I use the oil of Lily there to help with my outer examinations, and sometimes oil of Almonds when I examine you to see if you are ready for the birthing, and will also massage you to aid in your delivering more easily. Do you understand that as well?"
"Yes, Mrs. Knolls. I am familiar with certain herbs and their benefits, and I remember many from when I witnesses my sister's delivery, but as to the other items on your table."
"I understand your concerns, Mrs. Darcy, and I will explain them all to you. These herbs there are used only when necessary if the birth if so prolonged that I feel both you and your child are in danger. Only then will I administer them."
"And is that truly snuff, Mrs. Knolls? For what purpose is that used?"
"Sometimes it is used as an aid in sneezing and coughing, which is to help both in the delivery and to expel the afterbirth."
Elizabeth closed her eyes and swallowed and whispered, "And the last item? I do not remember seeing it at Jane's laying in. What is its use?" She did not wish to guess.
"They are called forceps. Again, I will only use them if it becomes necessary. And I will also tell you that I have been well trained by students who were trained by Margaret Stephens of London in its use to safely deliver the child."
There was a silence as the two women exchanged looks before Mrs. Knolls asked, "Is there something else you wish to ask me?" Elizabeth swallowed.
She pulled her eyes away from the table, trying to ignore whatever Mrs. Knolls had said about the instrument, whatever it was called, and tried to concentrate on her other concerns at the moment. "Why...why were you asking me those questions before about the added weight and the increased activity of my baby? Is there something wrong?"
Mrs. Knolls looked at Elizabeth again trying to size up her mettle. "No, there is nothing wrong. It is just that the baby may be quite large and if so you may have a more difficult birth." The older woman failed to inform Elizabeth of her other suspicions for the moment. Time will tell, she thought to herself.
"And the baby is fine otherwise?" asked Elizabeth.
"I assure you, Mrs. Darcy," the midwife said beside her. "Everything is progressing normally." Then she smiled and added, "And you look to me as if you have the hips to deliver perfectly well on your own."
"I thank you for I know you mean to give a complement, I think," Elizabeth said uncertainly. Mrs. Knolls patted her hand, and helped her stand again ordering her to walk about the room more. Elizabeth sighed.
By late afternoon the contractions were back and had an intensity that even Elizabeth didn't know if she could survive. She had been in labor almost eight hours, and kept wondering why William had not come to her. Surely he would have been summoned. Mrs. Reynolds had said she would.
Good as they were, Elizabeth wished that Mrs. Reynolds and Mrs. Knoll would leave her alone for a while or perhaps with Jane who she knew had gone for a visit to a neighbors this day. The one true wish she had was that William would return.
She desired the quiet and the solitude of the glen that had meant so much to all the Darcy's. She closed her eyes and envisioned herself there with William lying on a blanket in the shady spot next to one of the trees. He was reading a book to her as she reclined sleepily. Everything was peaceful and calm. She sighed contently at her vision.
Then another contraction hit in a wave of intense pain that Elizabeth cried out aloud as she gripped one of the four posters of the bed. She held onto the women's hands and bit down on a towel to muffle her screams.
She didn't know how much more of this she could take. Mrs. Knolls kept saying that she was doing fine, and progressing nicely, but Elizabeth didn't think so. She felt so exhausted and spent. This was only slightly similar to Jane's delivery. She began to cry uncontrollably as Mrs. Reynolds held her in a motherly embrace as both sat down onto the bed. Afterwards as she calmed, Elizabeth was embarrassed that she couldn't stop her tears. Mrs. Reynolds smiled as she used a handkerchief to dry Elizabeth's eyes.
"It's all right, Mrs. Darcy," Mrs. Knolls explained. "It's natural for you to cry. Your body is going through so much change that it must release the tension somehow. You need not worry."
But she was worried. She didn't remember Jane's time as being this long or as intense. She had been in labor from early this morning to now late afternoon without an end in sight, and where was William? She needed him with her now.
"Is William back yet?" she asked again after they allowed her stay seated to rest. She wondered what could be keeping his return, and chastised herself for sending him away on this day of all days. After Jane's ordeal she had made him promised he would be with her. He promised he would be with her. He promised.
"He won't be of any help to you right now, Mrs. Darcy," said Mrs. Knolls. "Men folk just fold up when they see what women have to go through to give birth."
"But William-"
"He's a man like all other men-"
"No. He's...he's not like other men," Elizabeth defended him beginning to pant.
"Well, you will see him after we are done in here." Mrs. Knolls gave her a glass of herb tea to sip, patting her arm.
Elizabeth thought of Mrs. Knolls answer, wondering if William would even be allowed in for a few minutes so she could see him. "When will that be?"
"Soon, Mrs. Darcy. Soon." Mrs. Knolls then turned to see if the room was prepared to her preferences for when Mrs. Darcy was ready to deliver.
"Y-Y-You keep saying that, but nothing is happening." Turning now the housekeep she added, "Mrs. Reynolds, please, I need to talk to W-W-William."
The housekeeper began to feel an uneasiness about the mistress as Elizabeth stared pleadingly into her eyes as Elizabeth repeated her request. "Mrs. Reynolds, I-I-I-I..."
She swallowed and closed her eyes trying to calm herself before she could continue. And holding onto Mrs. Reynolds' arms tightly and looking now directly into her eyes Elizabeth said, "I...truly need...W-W-William." She began to pant.
But it was Mrs. Knolls who replied to her saying, "He shall be right outside the door waiting like all expectant fathers, Mrs. Darcy."
Elizabeth's gaze went from the housekeeper to Mrs. Knolls to register what she had just said, and her hands fell to her lap. Suddenly realizing that William was not to be allowed in to be with her even for a few moments. Elizabeth felt a fear begin to grip her from deep within her being. She looked down at her hands. They had begun to shake. Oh, no, she thought. This can't be happening, not now. Her breaths came out in short shallow puffs.
She closed her eyes, swallowing and tried to calm her thoughts with the phrases William had said when she'd been so afraid once, trying to make them work for her now. Oh what were they?
Breathe, she thought, trying to take a deep breath, but couldn't. Oh, what else?
All is well, yes, she thought, repeatedly whispering the phrase, "All is well. All is well. All is well." Oh, what else? You are not alone, yes, she thought, repeating that mantra over again several time. She was still panting, trying to hold on. "Breathe," she whispered. What else had he said?
There is nothing here that can harm you, yes. But then she looked over at the table Mrs. Knolls had set up focusing on the last item. She closed her eyes beginning to pant, hands balling up into fist to try to keep them from shaking.
"Breathe, Lizzy. Slow deep breaths," she whispered as she panted, trying to remember what else he had said to be of use to her.
You are safe. Am I safe, she thought? How could I be safe? The other phrases rushed into her mind.
I am with you. Her shaking increased.
I will never leave you. The pain in her chest began to ache.
I will always be with you. I promise. Trust me. The roar of an ocean seemed to close her ears so that she couldn't hear Mrs. Reynolds talking to her.
"Babies are born when they decide, not us," Mrs. Reynolds was saying when noticed how pale Elizabeth had become, how she had begun to tremble.
"Mrs. Knolls?" Mrs. Reynolds asked touching the older woman's arm. "Is she-
"She's just scared. There, there, Mrs. Darcy," began Mrs. Knolls sitting on her other side and patting Elizabeth's arm. "You mustn't get too worked up or it won't do for the baby." But even Mrs. Knolls knew instinctively that this was not a normal fear that she could talk Elizabeth out of. This was a spell she had seen but rarely that would have terrible results if it kept up. She didn't want to resort to using any of the drugs on the table unless it was necessary for the baby's sake. She wondered if the doctor should be sent for.
Mrs. Knolls took Elizabeth's head in both her hands and tried to get Lizzy to focus on her. "Mrs. Darcy. Mrs. Darcy!"
Having never seen Elizabeth before in this state, Mrs. Reynolds patted her hand and kept calling, "Mistress. Mistress."
By now Elizabeth couldn't hear either Mrs. Reynolds or Mrs. Knolls anymore. She felt herself falling deeper into that abyss of fear that she thought she had conquered so long ago. But this wasn't a simple fear of horses. This was a terrible abyss that pulled her in so deep and so fast that she couldn't breathe. Both the older women tried to keep Elizabeth from shaking so.
Just then the women heard a commotion in the hallway. It was Wilkins speaking. "Sir, you can't go in."
The master had returned quite unlike himself with shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and a vest without a coat, and his cravat showing obvious effects of wind damage.
"I WILL go in. Stand aside."
"Sir, it isn't proper," they heard the butler say. Having been given his orders from both women under termination of his employment, he knew what he must do.
Then the women heard Bingley's voice trying to calm the master.
"Come, come, Darcy. You know it will be just as it was with Jane. Here, let us go to the study and-"
"NO!" Darcy shouted. "There is something wrong, I tell you. I know it."
Bingley tried to reason with Darcy holding onto his arms to prevent him from entering. "Mrs. Knolls and Mrs. Reynolds are with her, Darcy. If there were something wrong surely they come out and tell us so." But Darcy would not be mollified.
"Charles, you have no idea. I tell you there is something wrong! I am sure of it, and I will not let anyone keep me from Lizzy. Now release me and move aside!"
Darcy's ferocious manner made Charles gaze into his friend's wild eyes, and then he felt a gentle hand on his arm, and looked to see Jane beside them both, holding little sleeping Beatrice. Charles backed from Darcy and Jane stared up into his anguished face full of fear, barely keeping his own fearful shaking in check. Her eyes narrowed trying to read his mind.
She finally nodded and moved away said, "Charles, take Beatrice." She was intent on entering to find out if what Darcy feared was true, turning to Wilkins, "Let me to her."
Darcy now turned to the massive form of his butler standing sentry at the door, barring the way of the master, and anyone else as per his instructions from both Mrs. Reynolds and Mrs. Knolls, and without a very good reason was not to let the master in. He knew that if he opened the door for Mrs. Bingley the master too would rush in.
Darcy stood toe to toe with his butler stating, "Wilkins, you have been a faithful servant to this family for a long time. And so think you know why I wish to be let in."
"Yes, sir," Wilkins said softy.
Darcy leaned so close to Wilkins face that the butler felt the master's breath as he tried to control the rage building up within him he whispered, "Then let me correct your thoughts. My need to be allowed entry is not based on the distant past, but on something that has happened as recently as an hour ago that gives me to believe that your Mistress needs me to be with her."
Wilkins frowned as he tried to understand exactly what the master was telling him, now uncertain as to what to do. He then asked, "but do they want you in there, sir?"
"If you mean the midwife, I don't care. If you mean Elizabeth, then, yes, I have reason to believe she desperately needs me to be with her now."
Again Wilkins hesitated, and Darcy knew the muscular Wilkins would be formidable adversary to breach if need be.
Darcy closed his eyes and let out a shaky sigh to try one last time before he would be forced to bodily remove his butler. "Please, Wilkins," they all heard him beg as he looked into his butler's eyes.
None of those present had ever heard the master's voice sound so fearful. Jane touched Bingley's arm worried for Elizabeth, and was about to ask again to be allowed in. "Charles?"
Bingley put his arm around her shoulder and looked from Darcy to Wilkins, also now thinking something must truly be amiss, and now also wished to help his friend gain access to his wife. "Wilkins!" Bingley's voice seemed to bristle now with impatience. "Let them pass." The butler glanced over to him.
Wilkins too had seen how many expectant fathers behave worried, brooding, and pacing. But in the master's voice Wilkins heard something more. Sensing something must truly be wrong for the master to act so out of character, his wild eyes telling the butler that he would brook no opposition to get into the room. Wilkins finally nodded in agreement.
"Yes, sir," Wilkins said and opened the door.
The two older ladies moved away from trying to help Elizabeth when Jane and Darcy rushed to her side. He held her to him tightly, her pains having subsided for the moment, but he knew from the glazed look on her face that she was already well into a panic episode.
"I am here," he whispered into Elizabeth's ear, savoring her closeness, trying to get her to respond. Jane had never before seen Lizzy like this, even as a child, and stroked her hair.
Mrs. Reynolds couldn't understand how the master had come to be there. She had not sent any of the servants for him. "Master, who informed you?"
"Sampson," Darcy sighed while he sat next to Elizabeth, looking into at her face, her eyes unfocused.
"What," came from Mrs. Reynolds as she stopped what she was doing to stare at him.
Darcy directed his answer to Mrs. Reynolds, but his eyes never left Elizabeth as he held her, caressing her back, feeling her trembling against him as he and Jane tried to rub some warmth into her back and arms.
"He came to the far meadows that the steward and I had been inspecting for...God knows what reason. He galloped up with Lizzy's saddle upon him; he reared, as I have never seen him do, and then galloped toward the house. Simian was so anxious to follow, that I barely had my foot in one stirrup before he too bolted for home." Darcy caressed Elizabeth's face, whispering to her, "Please, come back to me."
"She seems unable to hear us. I am worried, Master." Mrs. Reynolds acknowledged having never seen the Mistress in this state.
Still hugging Elizabeth, caressing her, trying to ease her trembling, Darcy asked the mid-wife, "Mrs. Knolls?"
The midwife spoke in a tone that belied the worry that she now felt for this young mistress. "She was doing fine, sir. We were almost ready for her to begin, when she began talking of you, asking why you had not returned, and then within moments she became as you see."
"There is nothing else wrong?" Darcy asked, relief flooding his mind as his fear of her having fallen from the horse was put to rest, but now worrying of how unresponsive Elizabeth was even to his touch, his nearness.
"Not that I can tell, sir. She will be fine once we get her to calm down again. You can leave now."
He almost laughed at the woman's audacity. "I am not going from this room," he vowed as his hold on Elizabeth tightened.
Realizing that master or not, he had given Mrs. Reynolds the authority if she thought it best to have him forcibly removed. And by all that was holy, that was what she would have to do. Instead she gently entreated him. "But, sir. It isn't right for you to be here."
Now staring directly into the eyes of the woman who had practically raised him Darcy stated again, "I...am not leaving."
"Yes, you are," ordered the mid-wife.
"No...I am not," Darcy, stated unequivocally, now staring directly at Mrs. Knolls.
Just then a contraction hit Elizabeth so hard that he grabbed hold of her as she writhed in pain. Darcy paled and Mrs. Knolls just shook her head.
"Just like a man. You watch. He'll faint dead away now. He won't be any use. Mrs. Reynolds, you need to send him out."
The glare Darcy gave Mrs. Knolls could have struck her dead it was so intense as his arms tightened around the still unresponsive Elizabeth.
Mrs. Reynolds put a hand on Mrs. Knolls arm and whispered, "I have seen that look before, Mrs. Knolls. You had best let him stay. He is quite determined now."
The mid-wife glared back, arms folded, silently sizing up this young man's mettle. Finally she nodded adding, "The moment I see your uselessness, you will leave!" And she turned away from him to the table she had set up.
Ignoring Mrs. Knolls for the moment, Darcy turned to Jane asking, "Have you any insight into this episode?"
Jane shook her head almost crying now at her own uselessness. "Truly, I have never seen her thus. Oh, William, what are we to do?" She continued to rub Elizabeth's hand.
Darcy removed his cravat and opened his collar, and then he unbuttoned his vest as he said, "When she had the only episode I witnessed, her hands became as ice. This episode is far worse. We need the room warmer, Mrs. Reynolds." With was only his thin shirt cloth and her nightgown between then he held her to him tightly. His heart was pounding and he felt like a fire ablaze beside her cold form.
Focusing all his attention on her, as he held her in his arms, his hand cupped her face. "Elizabeth? I am here. Can you hear me?"
But she couldn't hear him. She was too far away from him. He kissed her on the lips so long that Mrs. Reynolds and Mrs. Knolls had to look away embarrassed. He hugged her tightly as she continued trembling.
Mrs. Reynolds asked Mrs. Knolls, "Should I send for the doctor?"
Mrs. Knolls realized that Darcy seemed to know more about Elizabeth's needs in this matter than she, but she was worried. "Yes, have someone sent for him just in case Mr. Darcy is unable to help her. In the meantime can you stoke the fire to warm the room?" Mrs. Reynolds nodded to Jane who then left the room to inform Charles to have him send for Dr. White.
Darcy's focus was now totally on Elizabeth as he held her to him. "Shhhh," he whispered in her ear. "Calm yourself, Elizabeth. I am here. Shhhh."
When he had helped her before, he knew and controlled the situation and therefore could almost predict the outcome. But this was different. He had no control over anything here, and didn't know the outcome now. He swallowed as he too began to tremble. He closed his eyes and held her tightly to keep her body from shaking so violently. "Shhhh. Hear me, Elizabeth. L-L-Listen to my voice."
But his voice shook with the weight of something he carried with him for so many years now, buried so deep in his soul that it couldn't be blotted out even by Elizabeth's love. Now the threat of losing her, the only person he loved beyond all others forced out his repressed memories the day of his mother's death that he had locked away in order to survive her loss. His mind suddenly opened up to recall his greatest shame. He shuttered as the blackness began to enclose on him, unable now to fight it off.
Remembering now that for all those years he felt the responsibility for his mother's death, knew it was his fault that the connection between them had been broken, why he could never hear her voice again, never feel again the bond they had. His mind told him now that if he hadn't asked for a sibling, if Georgiana had never been born, his mother would not have died. Now those feelings of guilt flooded back into his mind that he had forced himself to forget for all those years. How could his mother who had given her life for Georgiana ever forgive him for wishing that his sister had never existed?
He felt Elizabeth trembling against him, lost in her own terrible abyss, her eyes closed as he held her to his chest, her tears flowing freely. She was the only person in the world that made him complete. She was his life now. She was everything to him and he wouldn't survive losing her too. And the weight of his guilt intensified with the thought of now wishing another infant not have existed was almost unbearable.
He breathed in one long ragged breath, needing the one person that could always ease his mind of any trial. But she was no longer with him. He could no longer call on her. He could no longer hear her voice. How could he help Lizzy out of her darkness when he now couldn't help himself? Time in that empty blackness felt like an eternity as he panted and tried to hold on, tried to hope. "Oh, Lord, help me," he whispered in prayer.
It was then a wonderful lavender scent suddenly permeated the room. Darcy felt a presence about him that was so peaceful. His thoughts turned to the glen and the wonderful contentment of the place. He felt a touch like a caress and the thought entered his mind in a familiar voice, 'William.' He sighed, "Mother."
Mrs. Reynolds stopped her task by the fire, and looked about the room as if expecting to see a familiar face, but she saw no one else there, and so turned back again to Mrs. Knolls busy at the table, unaware of the presence.
Another thought came to him. 'All is well." He felt this overwhelming love engulf him, pour into him. He began to pant, and tears flooded his eyes. And feeling her forgiveness all around him gave him the strength to come to terms with his guilt and finally let it go as he sighed, "Yes."
A final thought very faint now floated into his head. 'Hold her,' and then his mother's voice was gone from his mind and with her all the guilt he had harbored. It was all gone except for the feeling of total love that engulfed him still, and within it Darcy felt himself relax, begin to calm. He smiled, happy that he was able to feel her presence once again, to know her love again. He opened his eyes, realizing only he had heard her, and he felt her love give him an inner strength as he held Elizabeth who he focused on now, knowing he could help her now, and felt her warming up and relaxing against him now, her shivering lessening. And he heard her labored breathing begin to slow, trying to attain a more normal rhythm.
His mind calmed now, knowing he would hold her now until she returned to him, knowing she could hear him now. He finally sensed her coming back as her arms now able, moved and grabbed him around his chest, clinging to him. He smiled and whispered, "You can hear my voice now."
"Yes," she finally panted out. Slowly she felt herself coming up from the abyss. He rubbed her back, willing warmth into it. He kissed her temple and hair, and sighed.
After a few minutes more he spoke again. "Remember...remember when you faced your fear, Lizzy?" His voice whispered in her ear.
"Yes," she whispered back still hiding her face in his chest. He smiled now, knowing she had at last come back to him. He continued.
"Just as then you can do this now. I have seen how brave you are," he whispered back. "Breathe, Lizzy. Breathe slow deep breaths. That's right. Calm yourself."
Eyes closed, his arms still embracing her, his head resting on her shoulder. She could feel his breath by her ear. Her panting slowing, trying to mimic his.
"Listen to my voice, Elizabeth. Know that from this day forward I will always be with you, without reservation. You will be safe, for I will keep you from all harm. You can trust me completely now." His voice sounded so strong now, and she responded to it, slowing her panting, beginning to breath more slowly, calming her mind.
It was as if they were alone and all became quiet. For the next few minutes, time stood still. The world had stopped spinning, and everything was at rest. Her contractions had ceased. The baby was still. Nothing moved. Elizabeth was in Darcy's arms, feeling his love all around her. Everything was right now. Elizabeth had no fear now that she knew he was with her, and Darcy had at last let go of his guilt completely. They both knew that all would be well.
She put her arms around his neck. When they heard Elizabeth sighed calmly both the older ladies turned from the table where Mrs. Knolls had been preparing the laudanum.
"Praise be," whispered Mrs. Reynolds in relief.
Darcy had done what they could not. He had calmed Elizabeth to a point that she was now ready to continue.
*Source material for herbs, instruments, and procedures from: The Rhetoric of Midwifery-Gender, Knowledge & Power by Mary M. Lay had excerpts from The Midwife's Apprentice by Jane Sharp 1670 and The Making of a Man-Midwifery: Childbirth in England, 1660-1770 by Adrian Wilson
Elizabeth nodded and Darcy helped her onto the birthing chair, which had been brought into the middle of the room. He stood behind her to support her back and his arms held her around her shoulders and chest, her hands holding onto his arms, his head resting on her shoulder. He closed his eyes and sighed. All was calm and quiet now. She leaned her head back against his chest panting slightly and trying to stay calm. Then he felt her body relax against his, and her head came up from his chest and he knew she was ready.
"Sir, you really should leave now-" Mrs. Knoll began. But when she saw now two pair of determined eyes look directly at her, she knew she had lost this battle. They would face this challenge together and dare anyone to defy them.
Mrs. Knolls then smiled at Darcy regarding him with greater esteem now. "You'll do, sir," she said to him as she settled down on the stool in front of Elizabeth and smiled up at her.
Darcy looked over at the small table beside the stool that held several items. His brows knitted in concern as he gazed from one object to another to another finally staring at the forceps. Elizabeth felt his embrace tighten around her, and knew exactly how he felt.
Mrs. Knolls reached over and picked up the bottle of oil of lilies. She opened it and poured a liberal amount in her palm and rubbed some of it onto her hands.
"Now, Mrs. Darcy," Mrs. Knolls said as she began her massaging, "the pains will come very strong soon, but you are not to bear down until I say. Do you understand?"
Elizabeth looked down into Mrs. Knoll's stern face, and nodded as she felt a pain beginning to rise. She held onto Darcy's arms with a grip so tight that he was want to wince. Instead she heard his voice whisper in her ear. "Breathe, Lizzy." She realized that she had been holding her breath, and began to breathe again, panting slightly. He kissed her hair, and held her.
The contractions began in earnest not soon afterwards. Elizabeth pushed when told, and fell back onto Darcy in between. Neither knew for how long; it just seemed like hours later, but with one final push Elizabeth saw the baby born. Both waited breathlessly for the sound of its cry as Mrs. Knolls massaged the tiny unmoving body.
Mrs. Reynolds asked, "Do you want to tie off the cord?"
"No, not yet," was the reply as she continued to allow Elizabeth's body to sustain the baby through the cord while Mrs. Knolls kept the infant on its side with its head downward in her lap, massaging it. Finally, the baby began to show more color and there was a jerky little movement in protest of all the massaging.
"Mrs. Knolls?" asked Darcy, afraid to say anymore. Tears clouded Elizabeth's eyes as Darcy's embraced tightened around her, hoping, praying.
"Wait a moment," was her distracted reply as she focused only on the infant. Finally she nodded to Mrs. Reynolds to hand her the binding to tie off the cord, and helped her to cut it.
The first time they heard their baby's gurgling cry was when Mrs. Knolls gently slapped his backside, wiping the fluid from his mouth, and then placed him in the waiting blanket in Mrs. Reynolds's arms.
"It's a boy," Mrs. Reynolds gushed, and handed him over to Elizabeth.
Crying from joy now, Elizabeth held her tiny infant close to her seeing his wee fingers and face.
"He has your eyes, Elizabeth," whispered Darcy trying to move the blanket to see more of his little face, and his dark blue eyes that his father knew would change to a warm brown.
"He's beautiful," whispered Elizabeth falling totally in love. Elizabeth's hand went back to Darcy's cheek and caressed it. He kissed her temple. Everything was fine now. They were so happy as they watched the tiny boy wiggle and yawn and tremble and cry and try to focus on his mother's face. It was what they had always wished for, prayed for when they had first married, and now they had their precious first baby. In not too many years, as their family grew, they would hear that wonderful laughter of children that they had only just imagined and dreamed about. Everything was wonderful. Darcy kissed Elizabeth again, and touched his little son's head gently.
The door opened and Dr. White entered, and seeing the scene before him smiled, and quietly approached to see the baby that had given Darcy so much worry. He began, "Well done, Mrs. Darcy-" but the special moment was short lived when severe pains much worse than before interrupted it. Mrs. Reynolds took the baby as Darcy held Elizabeth, his worried expression returning.
"The afterbirth must come out too, Mrs. Darcy," began Mrs. Knolls, as she massaged Elizabeth's abdomen. Abruptly she stopped and used her hands to examine her instead. A look of worry crossed her face as she saw how intense the pains became, and knew they were not from the afterbirth. She backed away and the doctor began to examine her too, and they exchanged worried looks.
Darcy noticed their expressions. "Doctor? Mrs. Knolls?" He asked, fear evident in his voice.
"Just a moment," Dr White said still examining Elizabeth. "Did you suspect this?" He asked Mrs. Knolls.
"Not until after I examined here when I first arrived, but I could not be sure, and wanted to see how she progressed before I sent for you," explained Mrs. Knolls.
"If you did not know of this why then was I sent for?"
"She fell into a panic episode that we couldn't get her from. That is when I sent word for you, and began to prepare a drug to calm her. It was her husband who entered and managed to reach her mind, to bring her around without my involvement."
Surprised the doctor asked, "You did not administer the laudanum?"
"No, sir," Mrs. Knolls acknowledged. "I would done so but as a last resort because it would surely have slowed the contractions. Fortunately Mr. Darcy here helped her calm herself to deliver her boy child."
"Indeed?" The doctor said regarding Darcy with a renewed respect adding, "that was fortunate, especially now with this added knowledge."
Another severe pain cut through Elizabeth not five moments after the first as Darcy held her. "What is the matter?" asked Darcy truly afraid now. All the fears of now Lizzy's health flashed before him, and he held his breath to keep him self from panic.
"Sir," Mrs. Knolls looked up at him with a smile. "You had best get another crib."
"What? Are you saying...?"
"Yes, another baby, Mr. Darcy," the doctor agreed.
"Oh, master," gasped Mrs. Reynolds, as she held the one tiny infant, a worried expression crossed her face.
Darcy supported Elizabeth tightly again, and smiled as he whispered in her ear and he kissed her cheek roughly. "Elizabeth, you are always coming up with new ways to astonish me."
She actually laughed for the first time that day as her hand reached up to caress his cheek, as she teased, "This time, my love, I am astonishing myself as well." Everyone in the room knew the eminent danger of twins surviving, so nothing needed to be said, but all were praying that it would turn out well.
The pains increased and subsided for a while just as with the first one before the second infant's birth. As soon as it was free it began to cry and squirm letting them all know of what it thought of these proceedings. This made everyone laugh.
"This one is definitely not shy," joked Mrs. Knolls as she deftly bound and cut the cord of the perfectly healthy infant as the doctor smiled, admiring her as she did the job she was so well trained for. He took the child from her to examine further, and nodded to the midwife and then finished the job of cleaning the tiny baby.
"A girl this time, and a mighty strong child at that," the doctor said. As he noticed the soft wisp of bright orange hair he smiled adding, "You are going to have your hands full with this one, Mr. Darcy."
Mrs. Knolls added, "You have outdone yourself, Mrs. Darcy, if I do say so myself."
Elizabeth smiled tired, but happy. Mrs. Knolls examined her, and nodded that only afterbirth was left now, and began to massage her abdomen to expel it faster, deciding that the snuff was unneeded.
Darcy closed his eyes, and held Elizabeth as she fell against him exhausted.
"I thought my love for you could not get any greater until at this very moment. He kissed her neck and behind her ear.
"None of that now, sir," admonished Mrs. Knolls with a smile. "She needs her rest."
Darcy looked Mrs. Knolls in the face with that stern Darcy stare which told her to keep quiet, but his eyes were bright with joy.
After the women had finished cleaning up, Doctor White examined her again and then asked Darcy to help Elizabeth from the chair to the bed. Darcy wanted to carry her, but she insisted on walking the few feet to the bed. Both the older women smiled. He still wanted to be a mother hen to her, but clearly Mrs. Darcy was back in charge now. The doctor held one of the infants, but watched her progress admiring her fortitude.
Even with Darcy holding her, the ten or so feet to the bed seemed to take Elizabeth forever to reach. This time rising to intimidation seemed to test her very limits. When she finally did reach the side of the bed, she had no qualms about allowing him to help her sit, help her lay down, gently lifting her legs into the bed, and pulling up the covers. He dropped into a chair beside her, holding her hand, stroking her cheek.
She thought her hands were the only part of her body that didn't ache right now, but in a day or two they both knew she would be on her way to a complete recovery. He kissed her hand, and she smiled at him. "I love you so," he whispered.
"I could not have done this without you, William," she suddenly said very seriously.
He laughed, "I should say not. My biology courses say it does require two-"
"You know what I mean," she was still serious. He sighed and nodded kissing her hand again.
"Yes, my love. And I will always be here," he promised kissing her hand again.
The doctor approached the bed, and shook Darcy's hand. "Congratulations, Mrs. Darcy. It seems I was not needed after all, thankfully. You and you infants seem healthy, so I will leave you in the care of your husband's capable hands, and plan to look in on you at the end of a week unless I am needed before then."
"Thank you, doctor," said Darcy as Dr. White turned the knob on the door and left.
Just then Mrs. Knolls came up with one of the infants having a new task for Elizabeth.
"Mrs. Darcy, since you decided on not having a wet nurse, I need to give you some schooling on how to feed your wee ones."
"Of course," Elizabeth sighed.
"Your mind is made up on this?" asked Darcy as he helped her sit up in the bed and putting a pillow behind to support her. She looked at him and nodded.
"I would like to try," she finally said, not sure of anything at the moment, but she was determined.
Darcy brows arched and he sighed, seeing her resolve, and finally nodded and she reached for her son in Mrs. Knolls' arms.
"Sir, I must take your place beside Mrs. Darcy for a moment," Mrs. Knolls told him. "I need to be close enough to instruct her."
Darcy didn't want to leave, and gave Elizabeth a pleading look.
She smiled and teased him asking, "Have you not met your daughter yet, William? I think Mrs. Reynolds may give her up to you if you ask nicely."
A look of astonishment passed over his face at the realization that he had been so focused on her that he had forgotten all else, and then embarrassment filled his eyes. He was definitely not thinking as rationally as usual.
He smiled sheepishly and said, "Of course." Rising from the chair he heard Mrs. Knolls saying to Elizabeth that while she nursed her babes she should refrain from drinking comfrey tea, and would have ask why when Mrs. Reynolds voice intruded upon his thoughts.
"Why do you not come over here, Master, and sit in the rocker," Mrs. Reynolds suggested rising from the chair still clutching the baby tenderly.
Darcy obeyed, seating himself comfortably, and then Mrs. Reynolds handed his daughter to him. At first Darcy felt awkward and fearful.
Mrs. Reynolds smiled to allay his fears and said, "I know it has been a long time since you have held a baby, sir, but just cradle her gently, and support her head. That's right, sir. You're doing fine. Now just relax and rock her. Very good, sir." So it was that both the new parents got instructed for their specific tasks and were less fearful and more confident with each passing moment.
At first Darcy felt nervous, but then began to look in the face of his little infant daughter. She wiggled in his arms, and the corners of her mouth seemed almost to smile at him. He reached his finger down to push the blanket away from her face, and her little hand grabbed it and held it. Darcy inhaled with the joy and wonderment of a new father helplessly falling in love with his daughter. He smiled as he now only remembered the love he felt holding his baby sister in his arms as a boy. Tears welled up in his eyes as he looked down at his infant daughter, eyes just like his mother's staring back at him.
"Oh, God, thank you for that," he whispered in prayer.
Mrs. Knolls and Mrs. Reynolds glanced at the two young people, and then they smiled at each other in a knowing way.
"I think we can leave them to it for the moment, Mrs. Reynolds," stated Mrs. Knolls. "They seem to have everything well in hand. I could use a cup of tea before I leave."
"I will go down and tell the kitchen staff and see to it for you," Mrs. Reynolds replied but before she left the room she turned to Darcy and asked.
"Master, do I have permission to tell the household the good news?" She knew that there were anxious people waiting in the hallway and throughout the house.
Darcy didn't even look up from his baby daughter as he said, "Of course. Tell everyone of our good fortune." Mrs. Reynolds smiled as she left the room.
Mrs. Knolls began to pack up her satchel when Darcy whispered to her, "Mrs. Knolls, come over here a moment."
When she was beside the rocker, he reached for the elder woman's hand and squeezed it, and smiled as he said, "I thank you for all you have done for us today. We could not have managed this without your help."
"You are very welcome, Mr. Darcy-" she began to said, but her interrupted her.
"I know how much you opposed my being present here today, so I thank you for myself as well. Without knowing it, you have given me a gift few men ever get to witness, and I shall treasure it always."
"Mr. Darcy, if more men had your stamina..." Mrs. Knolls started to say, but never finished the sentence.
She realized few men were like this young man who took on such a great responsibility at so young an age and still came out of it whole. It took a special kind of strength to hold up under all that weight, and an unusual kind of upbringing to insist upon participating even at this event. His mother she knew had been a very special person.
Finally, she just managed to say, "You will be fine now, sir." She squeezed his hand and released it and turned away not wanting him to see the tear that had formed in her eye.
But she couldn't resist clucking as she closed the door, "You keep care of that wonderful wife of yours, sir, and I'm sure I will be seeing both of you in another year or two."
Darcy who was looking at his baby girl suddenly looked up startled at the older woman, and saw that she was smiling at him. He smiled and shook his head.
After she closed the door behind her, Elizabeth whispered to him, "William, you may bring our daughter to me now so that I may feed her as well."
Darcy slowly rose from the chair feeling awkward again and froze in step when the tiny infant wiggled in his arms. When she settled down again he brought her over to her mother. There was an awkward moment when the parents didn't know how to switch babies with each other, and then both laughed softly.
"I can see that we are going to have to devise a system for sharing," she quipped.
Darcy took a pillow and placed it on the bed in front of Elizabeth. She gently nestled her son onto it, and reached for her daughter. Darcy reluctantly gave her to her mother, and sat on the bed and reached for his son.
Elizabeth leaned back on the pillows in order to nurse her infant daughter more comfortably. Before long they heard the sound of the little one feeding without fret. Darcy leaned back against the pillows too in order to feel more comfortable holding the other now sleeping baby on his chest.
As he closed his eyes and sighed, he remarked, "Elizabeth, I don't ever remember hearing a sound that gave me so much joy."
"Indeed," she whispered as she turned her head on the pillow next to her husband. He couldn't resist kissing her soft, warm lips, she not caring that his day old beard was scratching her face. His passion was there, but the exhaustion of the day's events was there as well. They both dozed off each cradling a sleeping infant.
http://www.utoronto.ca/museum/virtual/vm/obs14.htm for photo of an English birthing chair
http://www.babyzone.com/dileo/forceps.asp for history of forceps
http://www.gentlebirth.org/archives/herbsbrt.html for some of the herbs used during this time by midwives
Posted on Wednesday, 16 July 2003
The plan had been made for Mr. and Mrs. Bennet and their two remaining daughters to stay at Pemberley for two full weeks complete. Darcy was the first to feel the effects of Mrs. Bennet's presence upon her arrival from the Bingley's home after staying there for but ten days.
From the moment of her stepping foot into the house, Mrs. Bennet had not quieted her shrill voice expressing the elegance of the house, and the furnishings and the number of servants, and upon the master himself until she was forced to cease to take breath.
Darcy with as much graciousness as he could muster and to the amusement of Mr. Bennet bid the servants escort the Bennets to their chambers to rest before dinner was announced and excused himself to inform his wife of their arrival. He knew it would not long before Mrs. Bennet would soon be upon them again.
When William entered the children's nursery he quietly closed and then leaned against the door, eyes closed and sighed. Having consumed her daily Fennel/Milk Thistle tea* at Mrs. Knolls suggestion, Elizabeth was sitting in the rocker beside the cribs nursing their daughter and reading aloud 'A Cradle Song' by William Blake*.
Sweet dreams from a shade,
O'er my lovely infants head.
Sweet dreams of pleasant streams,
By happy silent moony beams
Sweet sleep with soft down.
Weave thy brows an infant crown.
Sweet sleep Angel mild,
Hover o'er my happy child.
Sweet smiles in the night,
Hover over my delight.
Sweet smiles Mothers smiles,
All the livelong night beguiles.
Upon hearing Darcy sigh she looked up at him with an amused expression. She smiled asking, "William, are you hiding from my mother already?"
He opened his eyes and smiled, and pushing off the door came to stand beside her chair. Gathering the second infant into his arms from his crib, he sat in the second rocking chair and smiled down as he witnessed a little yawn from his son who then looked up to his father, watching him with interest.
"Indeed, son," he replied to both the blonde haired baby and his mother. "The master of Pemberley is in fact concealing himself from his own mother-in-law at present." He smiled sheepishly to Elizabeth adding, "this is by far the most pleasant room in the mansion at the moment, but not for long I fear, as I heard your mother already expressing a wish to view 'her grandchildren."
"Can you blame her, William?" She asked marveling at the little girl with the wisps of flame colored hair about her tiny peak.
"No, actually," he sighed knowing the survival of their birth was a miracle in itself. And that their continued survival and thriving he now suspected was wholly due to Elizabeth's decision to sustain them rather than have them sent to a wet nurse; a decision he at first was not fully agreed upon until he witnessed it to see the instantaneous bond between Elizabeth and the twins that filled him with awe of how great and wise was the Almighty to have fashioned mothers with this ability.
"They are a wonder, my love." He gazed into the face of this remarkable woman who daily astonished him with her constancy of courage and strength, her eyes sparkling at the mention of her children, and he leaned over to kiss her sweet lips.
"Will you survive this visit, my husband?" Her tease brought him from his serious mood.
He chuckled and nodded kissing her again saying, "With more such inducements I am certain to keep my sanity."
"I think I can provide them for you then," she acknowledged as he kissed her again. He did, however, remain with her for the next half hour to savor the undisturbed silence and be provided with enough joy to sustain him at presentto endure the visit in the company of Mrs. Bennet.
*http://oldpoetry.com/poetry/9882 for more of 'A Cradle Song'
*http://www.kellymom.com/herbal/herbal-rem_i.html for herbs to increase milk supply
Dinnertime the first night had been trying for both Elizabeth and Darcy due for the most part of their being tired, but happily so. Elizabeth seated her mother and father at one end of the table while she and Darcy were at the other, and the two girls between them, one on each side. They patiently listened to the news of Meryton and some of the neighbors with Mrs. Bennet dominating most of the conversation interspersed occasionally by Kitty and even less frequently by her father and Mary.
"I had word from Mrs. Phillips the other day that Mary King is to be wed to a gentlemen in Liverpool that her uncle approves of, and they are to live in that area. Oh, and one of Mrs. Longs' daughters is engaged to a Joshua Lucas, which was a great surprise to us all, Lizzy. Neither of her daughters are anything compared to you or Jane, Lizzy, and Joshua Lucas, you know had a great liking for you when all of you were young. Of course, that was before Mr. Darcy came and made his offer to you. (Pause for breath) So, now Mrs. Long is in the midst of wedding preparations and I have offered to help as I have quite a bit of experience now with three daughters married and one more this later this year."
Here Mary paused in mid action of eating, and Darcy noticed her cheek blush with a becoming hue that made her actually radiate. He smiled and glanced at Elizabeth who was smiling back at him. Both remained silent as her mother continued her narrative of news.
"But Mrs. Long told me she has everything within her control and does not require any additional help at present. She knows I could have the wedding quite grandly planned if she would but allow me. However, she says will make do and allow the couple to have a hand in the planning of a small ceremony without much of a to do. Have you heard of such a thing, Lizzy, to have the couple plan the wedding instead of the bride's mother? Unheard of, if you ask me."
Finally Mrs. Bennet paused, taking long needed breath and sipping her wine, she returned to her meal. The silence that ensued was deafening after her chatter, but no one felt the need to make reply.
Then Mrs. Bennet began again, this time her commentary was on the meal, of which she was she felt an expert. Cook had made his best efforts to create many delicious sauces for each course, only to have Mrs. Bennet offer to 'help' with a more palatable cuisine of recipes from home.
Darcy remained quiet, choosing to ingest another glass of wine. Mr. Bennet likewise chose to be less vocal, sitting back amused, waiting to see if this presently noncommittal master of Pemberley would once again revert to the aloof and haughty behavior known to most of Hertfordshire, or if he would finally allow the relaxed demeanor appear that Mr. Bennet had before seen emerging during his short visit of last September. Both Elizabeth and Darcy silently suffered Mrs. Bennet her ramblings only commenting in between to Kitty or Mary on various endeavors they were pursuing of late.
Mr. Bennet was impressed with the politeness of especially Darcy, and after the two gentlemen separated from the ladies to the library for a brandy did the elder man complement the younger. "You seem to be better able to endure with aplomb your over-exuberant houseguests, sir."
Darcy finished pouring out the first glass and handed it to his father-in-law, and then proceeded to pour another for himself. He remained silent, motioning toward the chairs before the fire. Finally settling, he quipped, "I hoped by allowing her a free rein soon her energy would lag."
To this Mr. Bennet snorted and retorted back, "You may think that as it gives you comfort."
Both men smiled, each knowing that it would never be so. But Mr. Bennet knew by the remark that this son-in-law had indeed at last revealed a wry sense of humor to rival his own. He sighed and raised his glass, tasting the warm rich flavor of the brandy, and closed his eyes. "Mmmm, this is very good, son."
"Thank you...father." Mr. Bennet's smiled broadened.
One morning less than a week into the Bennets' visit Lizzy and Darcy came into the mansion from the kitchen entrance, returning from their customary stroll over the grounds in the early hours. In the deserted hallway Darcy couldn't resist Elizabeth cheeks flushed from the exercise and eyes that sparkled so brightly. He pulled her into an embrace, his lips barely grazed her temple, his hand on about her neck rested her head onto his chest and he sighed.
''This morning your father wishes to partake in your Uncle Gardiner's favorite pastime."
Elizabeth smiled. "So the two of you are to frighten the fish today?"
He smiled, turned up her chin and kissed her mouth in a manner that belied his enthusiasm of that sport over one of his own favorite pastime activities, but sensing how very tired she still was, thought better of anything beyond his kiss, merely tightening his arms about her, and hearing her sigh.
"You should rest today if possible," he whispered. She merely nodded agreement. Closing his eyes, he still couldn't fathom how he deserved to be this utterly content waking up each day beside this woman. "My love for you increases with each passing day, Lizzy," he whispered and softly kissed her hair.
She smiled and snuggled further into his chest. "You are my heart's desire." They stayed embraced until they heard some noise down the hallway that intruded upon them, and they separated with him kissing her hands. "Until the dinner hour," he said as he watched her disappear into the kitchen, determined to see that she rest by afternoon.
Carrying in Mrs. Knolls' special tea from the kitchen, Elizabeth entered the morning room to find Mrs. Bennet and Mary seated by the east facing windows, the sunshine bright and cheerful. Mary as always with a book in her lap, this one a collection of the Monthly Review articles denouncing the recent publication of Lawrence Sterne's latest attempt at literature. Meanwhile Elizabeth sat beside her sister and undertook to finish the sampler she had begun some months ago, and was only now coming back to it. The men who had decided upon fishing this fine day, and were already to be seen from the window out by the trout stream amiably conversing away.
Suddenly Mrs. Bennet realized a member of the party was missing. "Where is Kitty?"
"She left quite early this morning for a walk through the grounds to sketch," replied Elizabeth sucking on her just pricked finger.
"Oh, for land's sake! Can she not go anywhere without taking her drawing book?" Mrs. Bennet exclaimed fanning herself with her handkerchief. "I forbade her to bring her paint box with us this time." Then becoming more exasperated she added, "Oh Lizzy, she spends entirely too much time on this activity after she was so encouraged by Lady Matlock. She wanders about the country side around Longbourne instead of using her time on more important issues at hand."
"Such as...finding a husband, Mother?" Elizabeth teased. She heard Mary's exasperated sigh as if it said, not again on this subject, please! But Mrs. Bennet carried on with the topic.
"Yes, Lizzy. For to have her marry well would do my heart good, and give my poor nerves a rest. You don't know how I suffer."
Elizabeth bit her lip to keep from laughing, and tried to reason with her mother as regards her younger sister. "But Kitty 's art is something she has an extreme talent for, mother, and she loves it so. You should encourage her in the attempt."
Mrs. Bennet snorted and said, "Oh Lizzy. Do be sensible. What are her chances of finding an eligible man when she's always scampering about in the shrubbery?"
Elizabeth smiled and sipped her tea and remarked, "You realize, of course, of my affinity to walking about in the shrubbery? And I seemed to have done quite well." She heard Mary's gentle titter as she placed her hand over her mouth, and tried without success to return to her book because the overheard conversation was now far more appealing.
"Oh, Lizzy. Kitty is completely different from you," Mrs. Bennet admonished her with great exasperation. "She has always been so afraid to step out the door without a companion with her. But you! Why even as a child I could not keep you from it. Your father and the servants were forever ordering you from the trees near the house where you had scurried up like some forest creature instead of a little girl. I thought you would never settle to one spot long enough to be dressed properly to be fit to be seen by the neighbors in church. You kept everyone quite busy, and such boyish behavior vexed me greatly. I hoped you would outgrow it when you were older, but unfortunately you never changed. I feared you would surely join Mary and become old maids together."
Here Mrs. Bennet paused to sip her tea and didn't see the silent exchange from Mary to Elizabeth that seemed to say 'old maids'?
"But look at the two of you now," Mrs. Bennet continued. "You have certainly exceeded any expectation I had. And Mary is to be married to your Uncle Phillips' clerk in the autumn."
"So..." Elizabeth cautiously ventured. "There is yet hope for Kitty as well? Even is she chooses while here to walk about to view our wonderful park?"
Mrs. Bennet sipped her tea and shrugged. "Perhaps, but it would do her better to be in attendance at a ball or assembly or gathering here, so she might meet some of the gentry that live here abouts."
"William has several activities in mind to keep you all content, I assure you. Will that do?"
Mrs. Bennet sighed in resignation for the moment. "You are the mistress here, my dear, so we will have to be content. But if you tire and need to rest, you can surely depend on me to take over some of your duties while I am in residence here."
"I thank you, again, Mother, and if the need arises, I will be sure to inform you," Elizabeth said sweetly and applied herself once again to her needlepoint.
"In fact," continued Mrs. Bennet onto another topic entirely. "That puts me in mind to have a chat with your cook to ensure that he is setting in place those ideas I suggested to him the other night. You really cannot have him keep up with preparing such rich sauces for us every night, Lizzy. It is not healthy."
"William has been enjoying Cook's wonderful creations for almost five years. And even you, Mother must admit to his being in excellent health."
"But your father is not so young as your Mr. Darcy, Lizzy, and is not used to all these fancy dishes. Surely you would not want to be the cause of his demise and for me to have to put in his grave to let that odious Mr. Collins take over Longbourne to turn us out to starve?"
"Really, Mother," Elizabeth said exasperated, striking her finger with the needle yet again.
But Mrs. Bennet interrupted her with, "I will just speak my peace to him, Lizzy. I am sure he will be more than obliging."
And before Elizabeth could say another word, Mrs. Bennet rose and departed the room with Elizabeth sucking her pricked finger, dreading the encounter between temperamental Cook and her mother. She sighed. Poor Andre.
Mary smiled, and now without looking up from her book replied, "I will stay here to console her when she returns most likely in one of her vexed tempers. I suggest your removing yourself to the nursery for I perceive that is where you long to be."
Elizabeth stared at her sister in wonder and asked, "Am I so easily read not only by William, but now you can know my thoughts as well?"
Mary smiled and her eyes rose up from her book, and looking directly at her older sister stated, "Lizzy, I have seen and cared for your children this past week, and have also quite fallen under their spell. How can their mother not wish to be at their side every moment?"
She added chuckling, "besides which, you have gotten no further on your sampler than from a few months past with you always looking to the door that leads you to your heart desire."
Elizabeth sighed and smiled at her very astute younger sister, and rose to depart the room. "I shall return in a short time."
When luncheon was announced Darcy went to seek her out first in the nursery where even the infants were missing. He then entered her chambers and through the connecting door between the sitting room and the bedroom, he spied her feet upon the bed. Quietly he approached to see her lying on her side cradling both babies within her embrace, all three sleeping soundly. He leaned down and gently kissed her forehead, and departed the room. When he returned downstairs he sat to dine and informed those at the table that Elizabeth was remaining in her room at present and later he had Mrs. Reynolds tell the servants that the Mistress was not to be disturbed by anyone.
It was a few mornings later when Mr. Bennet happened into the library to find another occupant had arrived before him, that of the ever-calm, collected housekeeper, Mrs. Reynolds. To say he was surprised was an understatement, for he had never known his own housekeeper, Mrs. Hill to venture into the Longbourne bookroom. So he wondered what Mrs. Reynolds was about, standing by one of the shelves, intently reading from a small volume. His curiosity peaked, he was determined to satisfy it, and calmly approached the woman.
"Mrs. Reynolds, what has peaked your interest here in the library?"
Not looking from the page before her, she replied simply, "Sir, the mistress gifted me with this book a few months before the birth of her children, and told me where it was to be housed for future perusal as the need arose."
Mrs. Reynolds, having been forewarned by Mrs. Bailey, the housekeeper at the Bingley's, had readied her defenses for the onslaught of the whims and desires of the mother of her mistress, and would brook no interference no matter how Mrs. Bennet cried, cajoled, whined or commanded. Mrs. Reynolds had the Mistress's full support that whatever she deemed fit to accept or reject by this woman was strictly her decision. Thus armed, Mrs. Reynolds managed in most cases to placate the woman with gentle suggestions much to the delights of her family. She only became annoyed with frustration when Mrs. Bennet either refused the subtle suggestions or kept returning to question decisions already decided upon.
It was at one of those times that Mr. Bennet found the housekeeper reading in the library. Mr. Bennet had the ability to discern book titles upside down, and smiled as he read that of Mrs. Reynolds' tome, supposing his second daughter had given the book to her housekeeper in jest, for it was a satirical recipe book supposedly written by giants entitled 'How to Serve Man - Grilled, Braised, or Roasted'.
"Having a particularly trying day, are we, Mrs. Reynolds?" Asked the amused Mr. Bennet.
"No, sir," replied the housekeeper, keeping her voice steady, her eyes still viewing the page of the book. "I was merely looking up a recipe for Cook for a few days hence."
Mr. Bennet nodded and gently removed the book from her hands and perused the preferred page. Silently he returned it to her hands with the only remark of, "skewering over an open flame is another option, Mrs. Reynolds."
She gazed into his eyes and found they were full of mirth. "Yes, sir," she answered back, the corners of her mouth venturing up slightly.
"Whichever method you suggest to Cook would be sufficient to complete the task. However, the...'ahem'...entree in question is rather old and therefore would it not be somewhat tough to digest?"
The housekeeper sighed, and then smiled back, having now dispensed with her ire from her idle musings, and replied, "Digestion has been difficult of late, sir. However, perhaps now I shall be able to stomach the remainder of the day."
"Let us hope so, Mrs. Reynolds," Mr. Bennet responded. She closed and replaced the book in the library shelf and removed herself from the book room with the elder gentleman watching her departure with amusement, and wondering how many of the other of Darcy's servants had similar designs of his wife.