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Chapter 1 Posted on Monday, 25 September 2000
"Three days he has been here and still he shuns us!", exclaimed Mrs. Bennet in frustration.
Elizabeth, Jane and Kitty were passing their afternoon in the parlour with their mother and were more or less tired of her constant whining, when they suddenly heard her scream out loud joyfully:
"He has come! He has come! Lizzy, come to look! Jane, you must go and change your gown immediately!"
But when Jane started to make her way out of the room, Mrs. Bennet had already changed her mind: "No, stay where you are!", she exclaimed.
Elizabeth went at the window to please her mother and she saw Mr. Bingley arriving on horseback, alone. She hadn't really expected that his friend would have accompanied him to Netherfield, let alone Longbourn, but she couldn't help a little feeling of disappointment creeping into her mind.
What did I expect? That he would come here and renew his proposals, not caring about the fact that I already have refused him once and that marrying me would make Mr. Wickham his brother-in-law? How could I even think of that? Lizzy thought, and to turn her mind from Mr. Darcy she turned her attention to Jane and Bingley, who now stepped in and was greeted warmly by Mrs. Bennet (a little bit too warmly as Elizabeth noticed in mortification).
Bingley seemed to be happy to see Jane again and he looked at her a great deal, but Elizabeth saw that there was something wrong. Bingley wasn't as cheerful as usually and, in fact, he looked almost sad.
Maybe he is still uncertain about Jane's feelings , Elizabeth thought Or maybe he doesn't have his friend's permission.
Before she could go any further in her thoughts she heard her mother ask: "And your friend, Mr. Darcy", she said coldly, "He didn't choose to come here to shoot with you?"
Mr. Bingley turned grave and the smile that seeing Jane had brought to his face vanished when he replied,
"No, Mr. Darcy is at the moment very ill. He caught a scarlet fever when he had some business in the lower part of the town, and I understand that he is in a very bad shape right now. I wouldn't have left his side had I had the scarlet fever myself, but as I have not, the doctor gave me very strict orders to stay away."
Elizabeth turned pale at Mr. Bingley's words and for a moment everyone sat in silence. Even Mrs. Bennet didn't seem to know what to say. She didn't, after all, want to displease Mr. Bingley by going on with her joyful chatter.
Finally Elizabeth managed to compose herself enough to ask how dangerous it was and was there a chance that Mr. Darcy might...die. The last word was merely a whisper that could hardly be heard.
Mr. Bingley tried to reply cheerfully, but failed miserably. He had the doctor's words too clearly in his memory,
"We will see. If he survives this week and the next he might have a chance.", had the doctor said and left, shaking his head.
Soon after this Mr. Bingley left. Elizabeth excused herself and run upstairs to her room.
Posted on Friday, 29 September 2000
Elizabeth sat down on her bed to recollect what she had just heard. Mr. Darcy was very ill and could die...without knowing that she loved him.
And it is all my fault. , Elizabeth thought. If I had not told him about Lydia's elopement, he probably would never have found out about it and would not have gone to London to find Wickham....and he would never have taken ill.
Before she could go any further in her self accusations, Elizabeth heard a light knock on her door and then Jane's gentle voice: "Lizzy? Can I come in?"
Elizabeth quickly dried the tears that had filled her eyes and then invited her in, trying to sound as normal as possible.
"Are you all right?", asked Jane as she opened the door and stepped in, taking a seat beside her sister.. "I saw your reaction when Mr. Bingley told us about Mr. Darcy's sad condition."
She hesitated a moment and then continued. "Is there something you want to tell me? I thought you were not very close to Mr. Darcy."
"No, not at all....I just...."Elizabeth started and then fell silent. She considered a moment and then went on. "I mean, yes, there is something....It is just that I feel guilty abut what has happened."
Jane looked at Elizabeth questioningly. "But, surely, there is no reason for you to feel guilty. You refused him, that is true, but I don't think that has anything to do with his illness."
"No, it is not that. I really am guilty...I am the one to blame." Elizabeth started and then told Jane about the part Mr. Darcy had played in finding Lydia and Wickham and making them marry, and how she was the one who had told him about the elopement in the first place.
It took a while for Jane to take in this new information. She was amazed and felt even more sorry for poor Mr. Darcy than she had felt before.
"Oh, Lizzy, I had no idea.", she then spoke. "Why did you not tell me before? Does father know?"
"No, he doesn't, I haven't told him. Aunt Gardiner wrote me in her letter that it was Mr. Darcy's and very likely also Wickham's wish that it would not come out." Elizabeth explained. "But Jane, what am I to do? If something happens to Mr. Darcy..."
"Hush...nothing will happen. And it was not your fault. It was Lydia's thoughtlessness and Mr. Darcy's own goodness that led into this. It was not as if you had asked him to go." Jane tried to comfort Lizzy. "But tell me...is there something more to this? Is it mere quilt that you are feeling?"
Elizabeth blushed and would not give a direct answer: "I - I only think that he is a very good man and does not deserve this. Why it could not be Mr. Wickham to take ill? He would have deserved it, not Mr. Darcy."
A teardrop came down Elizabeth's face, but Jane pretended not to see it. She did, however, start to get a clearer picture of her sister's feelings. "Yes, Mr. Darcy is a very good man and I am sure he will survive." Jane smiled at Lizzy reassuringly. "But perhaps a little change would do you good. What do you say of going to London to visit our aunt and uncle for a few weeks?"
Elizabeth smiled and hugged her sister. That was exactly what she had wanted, to go to London and be as near Mr. Darcy as possible.
When Jane left the room, Elizabeth started immediately to make preparations for the trip. The sooner she would be in London, the better. The only thing she regretted was that Jane could not accompany her. As long as Mr. Bingley stayed at Netherfield there was no chance of Mrs. Bennet letting Jane go.
Elizabeth sighed and then took a piece of paper and wrote to Mrs. Gardiner.
Darcy's townhouse, London:
Mr. White shook his head as he closed the door of the master's bedchamber behind him. The good old doctor had been in the Darcys' service for years and had seen many colds and little illnesses, but never had he been so worried as he was now. Mr. Darcy showed no signs of making any quick recovery. The only turns his condition had taken during his illness had been for worse.
Mr. White sighed and proceeded to the music room where he heard Miss Darcy practicing a sad tune.
When the doctor stepped, Georgiana stopped playing and stood up to greet him and to inquire after her brothers condition.
"Mr. White", she said and curtsied." I hope you have good news about my brother."
"Good-day, Miss Darcy", the doctor bowed. "As much as I would wish to ease your anxiety, I'm afraid I have no good news. Mr. Darcy's fever is very high and he is delirious."
Mr. White hesitated and then continued. "I cannot make out what he is saying, but it sounds like he keeps repeating a name. I am not quite sure what is it, but I think I heard something like... El...Eliza- something....perhaps Elizabeth." The doctor shook his head. "I am not sure. Is there any Elizabeth in you acquaintance?"
Georgiana looked concerned when she heard how ill her dear William was, but the mentioning of Elizabeth made her face clear for a while. "Yes. William met a Miss Elizabeth Bennet when he was visiting Hertfordshire with his friend, Mr. Bingley, last year. And I had the pleasure of meeting Miss Bennet at Pemberley"
Georgiana sighed and continued silently. "And then William suddenly left to London and took ill."
"I see", said the doctor and started pacing around the room. "This Miss Bennet seems to be important to your brother. It seems as if he wanted to say something to her..."
Mr. White stopped pacing and looked at Georgiana. He was just about to say something as they heard the doorbell ring.
A moment later a servant came in, bowed and announced:
"Miss Caroline Bingley."
Posted on Friday, 13 October 2000
Darcy's townhouse, London:
"Dear Georgiana!", cried Miss Bingley, a fake smile on her face and arms wide open, as soon as she had made her way to the music room where Georgiana and Mr. White were having their conversation.
"Miss Bingley", said Georgiana and curtsied with much more restrain.
Mr. White bowed and looked at Georgiana questioningly. Who was this woman?
Georgiana noticed the doctor's inquiring look and blushed as she realised how lousy hostess she was. What would William think of me?, she thought and then collected herself to make the introduction.
"Oh...Miss Bingley, this is doctor White. He is taking care of William." Georgiana said and then turned to the doctor: "And Mr. White, let me present you Miss Bingley. She is Mr. Bingley's sister. I am sure you remember Mr. Bingley, a very good friend of William.."
Caroline's smile widened as she turned to the doctor and curtsied. "Mr. White. It is a pleasure to meet you. I do hope you can tell me that Mr. Darcy is better. I have been so miserable ever since I heard about his illness."
I bet you have, thought Georgiana, wishing she could just order Caroline to go away.
"It is..eh...a pleasure to make your acquaintance too, Miss Bingley.", said the doctor, not quite sure what to think of this new acquaintance. "I believe I have indeed met your brother, Mr Bingley, a few days ago. I remember telling him to stay away from here as he hasn't had the scarlet fever."
"Oh yes, Charles was so sad he couldn't be there for Mr. Darcy. They are such great friends ", said Caroline in an anguished voice. " I dare say Charles would be more than delighted if I visited Mr. Darcy for him."
Caroline then turned to Georgiana: " Would you be so kind as to show me to Mr. Darcy's chamber? I am sure the poor man will be happy to receive visitors and hear from his friend."
Georgiana could barely hide her disgust. Her brother was lying sick in bed, so sick that he could die, and Miss Bingley had nothing but her own interests in her mind. At a moment like this to try to secure her own future well-being! Georgiana would not have it. There was no way she would let Miss Bingley to go to see William and use his sad situation to achieve her own goals.
Helped by her anger, Georgiana collected all her courage to tell Caroline to go away as firmly as possible.
"Dear Miss Bingley", she started "I am very much touched by your concern, but I am afraid you haven't quite understood the nature of my brother's illness. He is very ill indeed and, therefore, in no condition to have any visitors outside his very nearest family. I am sorry, but I cannot let you meet William right now."
Caroline looked a bit taken aback. She had not expected this from Georgiana. She had been sure of her success.
The moment of confusion didn't, however, last long for Caroline. Soon her fake smile returned and she tried again: "I understand that, but surely, there can be no harm if I sit by his side a minute or two."
Georgiana looked at the doctor pleadingly. Someone had to tell Caroline that she could not just come and expect to be let to Darcy's room in a triumph.
Mr. White caught Georgiana's glance and as he already had decided to dislike Miss Bingley, he cleared his throat and came to Georgiana's rescue: "Indeed, Miss Bingley, I am sure you mean well, but I am afraid I cannot let you to meet my patient now...his situation is very critical. It was very nice of you to come to inquire after his health and I dare say I appreciate your gesture as much as Miss Darcy, but I must remain in my decision. No people, apart from Mr. Darcy's closest relations, are to visit him at the moment."
Miss Bingley looked from Georgiana to the doctor and from the doctor back to Georgiana. She realised she would not be allowed to visit Mr. Darcy. She had to admit her defeat and forget all about the plans she perhaps had entertained.
Georgiana, seeing Caroline's disappointment, was relieved, but remembering her duties as a hostess, asked Miss Bingley to have some tea with her. Caroline, however, was in no mood for tea or friendly conversation anymore. She suddenly seemed to remember an important appointment and after excusing herself, she turned around and headed out of the door, leaving Georgiana to sigh in relief.
After a short silence Georgiana smiled at Mr. White and thanked him for his help: "I am very grateful to you doctor. I do not think Miss Bingley would have given up so easily had you not come to support me."
"I understand", said the doctor "I have seen many people of her type in my life. They are of no good to anyone. I am glad you didn't let her deceive you."
Georgiana smiled. She liked Mr. White. He had always cured her colds when she had been little and he was always very nice to her. He was one of the few people she felt herself at ease with.
Georgiana was quite sorry when the doctor after a while took his leave to go and see his other patients. He promised, however, to come back shortly to see if there were any changes in Mr. Darcy's condition.
"Call for me at once if anything happens while I am away" he said as he stepped out of the room "And don't trouble yourself with too much worry or I shall soon have two patients here, let the nurses do their jobs." With that the doctor was gone
Georgiana moved back to her pianoforte and finished the song she had started. Then she stood up and headed to her brother's bedchambers.
Longbourn:
Shortly after sending her letter to Mrs. Gardiner, Elizabeth received and invitation from the Gardiners for her to stay with them in London.
Elizabeth didn't want to lose any more time than she already had lost and so she went directly to the library to see Mr. Bennet and tell him about her plans to go to London.
"To London?", asked Mr. Bennet surprised "Whatever for? You have only just returned from Derbyshire and now you are going again. And, you know, as Mr. Bingley is here it is only a matter of time when he will propose to Jane. You can ask your mother." He winked at her daughter. "Do you not consider that diverting enough? What better could London possibly have to offer?"
Elizabeth tried to smile and answer cheerfully "Oh, I am sure there can be no fun, but the Gardiners have invited me and I would like to see my young cousins again."
No fun, thought Elizabeth sarcastically, That, at least, is true
Mr. Bennet raised an eyebrow and looked at Elizabeth searchingly "But you know they are all coming here for Christmas, and that is not so very far away."
Elizabeth avoided her father's glance when she replied "I know they are coming, but...I think a little change would do me good and Christmas is not yet so very close..."
Mr. Bennet didn't look quite satisfied. There was something bothering his dearest child and he would have liked to know what it was. Yet Elizabeth would not tell. It seemed, however, that for some reason it was very important for her to get to London.
Mr. Bennet sighed and said "Elizabeth, I know you, and I can see that there is something you are not telling. I won't ask you what it is, but if you want to tell me I have no objection to hearing it."
Elizabeth turned to face her father: "I would rather not say...it is quite...personal, if you don't mind."
"Very well", said Mr. Bennet "I will let you go if it is so important to you"
Elizabeth smiled and kissed her father on his forehead. Then she ran back upstairs to finish her packing.
Elizabeth left for London early the next morning. Later that day she reached Gracechurch Street and was warmly welcomed by the Gardiners.
Posted on Thursday, 28 December 2000
London, Cheapside:
"Lizzyyyy!!!! She's coming!!!", shouted young Edward enthusiastically, when he finally saw his cousin's carriage arriving from a distance. ( He had been at the window waiting for Elizabeth since breakfast and his mother was quite shocked to learn that he actually was able to sit still so long.)
"Is she indeed?" asked Mr. Gardiner and put down the newspaper he had been reading. "Are you sure? Last time when you thought she was coming, we all rushed outside just to see an empty carriage going nobody knows where." he said smiling at his son.
"But, this time it really is Lizzy!", insisted master Edward, "Look, the carriage is slowing down."
Mr. Gardiner stood up and stepped across the room to see if his son had been right this time and he soon had to admit his own error. It was Lizzy and the carriage had already stopped before their front door.
"My love!" He called his wife, who was playing somewhere with the rest of the children. "I think we have visitors!"
Mr. Gardiner had hardly finished his sentence, before the doorbell rang. Young Edward jumped up and rushed through the hallway to open the door.
Elizabeth couldn't help but smile and forget about Mr. Darcy for a while when Edward opened the door and drew her in, his face beaming like the sun (or like Mr. Bingley on a good day). Her smile grew even bigger when after a moment all the other Gardiner children ran down the stairs to meet their cousin and Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner wished her warmly welcome.
Dinner was served shortly after her arrival and the evening was so full of laughter and happiness that Elizabeth was able to forget her own sorrow for some time, but when she finally retired to her room and shut the door behind her, she sat down on her bed and sighed. She knew the night would be long and sleepless, the short moments of sleep filled with dreams of someone so dear to her.
The next morning Elizabeth woke up more tired than she had been when retiring. She had hardly slept at all, but had finally made her decision: she would learn more about Mr. Darcy's present condition as soon as possible, otherwise she could not have a moment of rest. Whit that in her mind Elizabeth soon stood up and dressed herself up for breakfast.
Posted on Thursday, 4 January 2001
When Elizabeth entered the breakfast room she realised she was early, even earlier than she usually was. The servants were only bringing receptacles to the table and it seemed like everyone else in the house was still asleep. Elizabeth stopped one of the servants to ask what time it was.
The girl looked surprised to find someone awake at the time of day: "Why, it's 6 a.m. ma'am. Can I do something for you?"
"No, I don't think I need anything." Elizabeth replied, "It seems like I'm just a little bit too early this morning. Can you tell me when the breakfast will be served?"
"Not before 7, I'm afraid. That is when the master comes to have his breakfast before starting his day's business."
"Yes, of course," Lizzy smiled, wondering how she could spend this hour she now had to wait.
If she had been at home there would have been no problem at all; she could have gone out for a walk. But now it would not do. She could not go to walk around the streets of London alone, at six a.m. in an area like Cheapside. That would have been too improper and unsafe for any respectable young female.
Elizabeth was about to turn around and go back to her room, when suddenly a thought crossed her mind. She turned back to face the servant girl, who still was waiting in the room.
"Excuse me..." Elizabeth started, trying to remember the girl's name. She seemed to be new in the house, because Elizabeth was almost certain that she had not seen her before. "Can you tell me your name?" She then asked.
"It's Sarah, ma'am.", replied the girl and curtsied.
"Nice to meet you, Sarah. You can call me Miss Elizabeth if you like, I'm afraid I'm not quite used to being called ´ma'am´, Elizabeth said and smiled at the girl.
"Yes ma'am...um....Miss Elizabeth."
"That's much better", Elizabeth laughed. Then, getting serious again, she continued: "Sarah... this may sound a bit strange for you, but I wonder if you know any servant here in London that works for a Mr. Darcy?"
Now it's said, let's just wish that the whole London won't know tomorrow how interested I am in Mr. Darcy's business
Elizabeth new well how all the rumours spread quickly through servants, but she didn't really care if in return she would get some valuable information about Mr. Darcy's condition.
However, the reaction that followed Elizabeth's words was quite unexpected: Sarah blushed deeply and wouldn't say anything for a while. She looked at Elizabeth and seemed to be somewhat scared. Then she finally managed to utter: "H- how did you know...?"
Elizabeth was confused. She had no idea what the girl was talking about. "What do you think I know?" She asked, "I'm afraid I don't quite understand you."
Sarah looked quite as confused as Elizabeth. "So you didn't know? But then why did you ask... ?"
Elizabeth started to grow worried. What on earth was the girl talking about? Was there something she should have known about Mr. Darcy? Was he still alive?
"Can you please tell me what you are talking of?", she finally managed to ask, her voice shaking slightly.
"M- my engagement", muttered Sarah, her eyes cast down.
"Your engagement?" Elizabeth didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
"Yes, my secret engagement to Mr. Dar....."
Before Sarah could finish what she was saying, she was interrupted by Mrs. Cook, the housekeeper, who seemed to be anything but pleased to find Sarah from the breakfast room without anything to do.
"Come here, Sarah! Now! I have a task for you." She said harshly, not even noticing Elizabeth, who was standing in the shadow.
"But..." tried Sarah, pointing in Elizabeth's direction.
"No buts. Come now."
With that Mrs. Cook, dragging Sarah with her, left the room. Elizabeth was left alone, Sarah's last words whirling in her mind:
"My secret engagement to Mr. Dar..."
What can she have meant by that? She can't possibly be engaged to Mr. Darcy himself, can she? No, that is impossible. She probably meant one of Mr. Darcy's servants, but didn't have time to finish her sentence., Elizabeth told herself quite reasonably. But because people in love hardly ever are reasonable, she couldn't stay content for long:
But why would the engagement be secret if she only was to marry another servant?. It doesn't make sense. There must be something more into this.
Elizabeth knew she was being stupid, but she decided to wait for Sarah anyway, if not to ask who she really was engaged to, then at least to inquire after Mr. Darcy, which had been her original intention. If the girl was engaged to one of Mr. Darcy's servants it was quite likely that she should know something of him, at least if he was still a live, and that was all Elizabeth wanted to know.
She didn't have to wait long for Sarah came soon bringing a large bowl of budding to the table. She seemed quite surprised to find Elizabeth still in the room.
"Is there anything I can do for you, Miss?" She asked
"No, I would just like to finish our conversation," Lizzy replied as naturally as she could, "I was going to ask you something before you had to go."
Sarah blushed again. "I don't understand....Why should you want to know of my engagement to Frederick?"
"Frederick?"
"Mr. Darcy's valet, my fiancé."
Mr. Darcy's valet. That is what she was trying to say, Elizabeth thought, letting out a little sigh of relief. Then she started feeling almost irresistible urge to laugh at herself. How could I have been so stupid, that I could, even for one second, think that she could be engaged to Mr. Darcy! I, who always prided my own judgment.
Elizabeth didn't, however, laugh at herself. She had much more important things in her mind, when she continued:
"I assure you I knew nothing of your engagement to Mr. Darcy's valet. I merely wished to know if you knew anyone in Mr. Darcy's service, because...because I have heard that my old acquaintance, Mr. Darcy, is very ill and I was only wondering if you knew anything of his present condition."
"Oh," sighed Sarah somewhat relieved, "Yes, I believe I have heard Frederick talking about his master. A very good man he is, Mr. Darcy, I mean. Always treats my Frederick very well and Frederick's been so worried of him lately. They say he will die..."
Elizabeth turned pale and Sarah shut her mouth. What had she said to upset this nice lady so? She watched Elizabeth taking a seat and staring quietly on the wall.
"Come now, Miss. That is just what I have heard." She continued hastily, when she realised what she had said. "I know nothing of what the doctors say, and I'm sure they know much better. Maybe it's not that bad after all. You do know how all the rumours are usually grossly exaggerated."
"Yes, of course. That must be the case." Elizabeth managed to say, not at all assured. "Thank you for telling me this. You may go now." She then continued, when she realised the girl was still standing there.
Sarah took one more look at Elizabeth's pale face. Then she turned around and hurried back to kitchen, where the housekeeper was waiting for her.
Elizabeth found herself sitting alone at the breakfast table that now was almost ready and she realised she would have to compose herself before everyone came to eat breakfast. She decided to get up and take a little turn in the house before facing anyone.
When Elizabeth returned 10 minutes later were Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner already sitting at the table and waiting for her.
"Good morning, Lizzy!"
"Good morning!" Elizabeth replied and even managed to smile. (a reaction that seeing the Gardiners always caused.)
"I hope you slept well after a long journey," asked Mrs. Gardiner.
"Yes, thank you, very well." Lied Lizzy. She didn't want her aunt to worry for her.
But Mrs. Gardiner wasn't so easily deceived. She looked at Elizabeth and noticed that something was wrong. "You look a bit pale.", she said, "are you sure you are all right?"
"Quite so. All that matters me is that I missed my morning walk." Elizabeth replied
Mrs. Gardiner smiled. She knew her niece and wasn't convinced, but decided to drop the question. Lizzy would speak when she was ready, if there was something she wanted to talk about. So, instead of making any more questions, Mrs. Gardiner continued as if she had believed what Elizabeth had said:
"You can never get enough of walking, can you?", she said teasingly. "Well, don't worry, we can go out for a walk after breakfast and maybe do some shopping as well."
"That sounds good," replied Elizabeth, who could hardly spare a thought for shopping, absentmindedly. Then she sat at the table for a while, barely touching her food and not paying much attention to the conversation. When Elizabeth thought she had sat there long enough, she excused herself and said that she would go to her room to prepare for the walk
When Elizabeth was out of sight, the Gardiners exchanged worried looks and made a silent decision to find out what was troubling their niece.
Darcy's townhouse, London:
At the same time in another part of the town, where almost everyone was still asleep, was one house fully awake and in a terrible uproar:
"Miss Georgiana, Miss Georgiana!" Came a worried voice that belonged to the housekeeper, through Georgiana's bedroom door. "Wake up! The master has taken turn to worse. He is sleeping very restlessly and the fever is rising again!"
Georgiana woke up and was out of her bed before she even realised. "Where's the doctor?" She asked, while hurriedly dressing up.
"Mr. White has been called for. He is on his way, but he may come too late. What shall I do, Miss?"
Georgiana, who now was dressed, opened her door and quickly followed the housekeeper, Mrs. Hammond, to the master's bedchamber.
As soon as Georgiana entered the room she hurried to her brother's side. She sat down and touched his forehead and after realising how hot it was, she quickly ordered a servant to bring some cold water and a towel to be put on his head. This was done in a minute, but it wasn't much of help. Georgiana had little idea about how she should act if the doctor wouldn't arrive soon.
A teardrop fell down Georgiana's face as she watched his beloved brother. He didn't seem to recognise her or anyone else around him.
"Will...?" Georgiana whispered, "Can you hear me?"
No answer.
"Will, please don't leave me. I don't have anybody else in this world. What will I do if I lose you?" She tried again, tears falling down her face.
Still no answer.
Georgiana felt hopeless. She could do nothing before the doctor's arrival and it looked like he would never make it in time.
Posted on Monday, 8 January 2001
"Just tell me, Miss, if there is anything I can do for you or the master." said Mrs. Hammond, who had been watching Georgiana from the other end of the room.
She was a good woman and been on the Darcys' service as long as Georgiana could remember, but she had little experience on nursing and usually whenever any member of the family had been ill, she had been the first one to be wanting to call a doctor. When the doctor came Mrs. Hammond would show him to the patient's room, but would then stay out of way. Now, however, when her excellent master was fighting for his life and the doctor was nowhere to be seen, she found it impossible to continue her normal routines; She felt she had to do something, but hardly knew what.
Georgiana knew all this and highly appreciated Mrs. Hammond's offer, but unfortunately her own experience on nursing was not much better than that of Mrs. Hammond's. There was nothing Georgiana could think of that could be done for her brother, and this she had to acknowledge to the housekeeper:
"Thank you, Mrs. Hammond", she said "It is very good of you to offer your help, but I don't know what could be done. I don't even know if William knows that we are here."
Georgiana sighed and at the same moment something was heard from Mr. Darcy's direction:
"...Liz..."
Georgiana almost jumped at hearing her brother's voice.
"What is he saying?", asked Mrs. Hammond, who was standing near the door, almost as far away form Mr. Darcy's bed as was possible, and could hardly hear his delirious mumbling.
"I am not quite sure..." Georgiana replied hesitantly, "I think I heard him saying 'please', as if asking us to do something..."
"But what does he want us to do? I would do that at once if I only knew what it was that he wanted." Said the housekeeper, trying to imagine what her master could possibly be wanting.
"I wish I knew", sighed Georgiana, "But, from what I heard, he didn't say anything else, only that one word."
Georgiana looked at her brother with a hopeless expression on her face, when she silently added: "Oh, if I only knew how to help him..."
"And if only the doctor would arrive." added Mrs. Hammond, shaking her head
Mrs. Hammond's remark brought the doctor back to Georgiana's mind. She turned to look at the clock on the wall and realised the should already be there.
"I hope nothing has happened to him." Georgiana said in a worried tone, "He lives but a few blocks away. What can be taking so long?"
Georgiana was about to go look from the window if anyone was coming, when the door was opened and doctor White announced.
"There you are!", exclaimed Mrs. Hammond, when the doctor entered. "We were getting all worried already, I almost thought you would not come at all."
"I came as soon as I could, there is no need to be worried," replied the doctor as he took a seat beside Mr. Darcy's bed. "Now, how is my patient?"
"Not very well. His fever is very high and I am afraid he does not even recognise us." responded Georgiana.
The doctor frowned and turned to have a look at Mr. Darcy. He looked indeed very bad, but this Mr. White would not tell the ladies. Instead, he turned to them and said:
"If you excuse me, I would now examine my patient and see what can be done. You can stay in the room if you want to, but there is nothing you can do right now." Then he continued, now directing his words more to Georgiana: "I would advice you to go and have some breakfast or at least a cup of tea. You look like you needed some refreshment now."
Georgiana did as she was told, but only after the doctor had assured her that she would be called for at once, if anything alarming happened.
On her way out Georgiana suddenly remembered her previous conversation with doctor White:
"I cannot make out what he is saying, but it sounds like he keeps repeating a name. I am not quite sure what is it, but I think I heard something like... El...Eliza- something...perhaps Elizabeth."
Those were the exact words he had used. Was that what William had tried to say? If so, it seemed to be very important for him. Georgiana knew she had to do something about it, but what?
It was almost noon when Elizabeth and Mrs. Gardiner finally left for their intended walk. It had been their intention to leave straight after breakfast, but the Gardiner children had made the plan impossible. They would not let their cousin go anywhere before she had spent a couple of hours in their company, playing games and telling stories.
This delay didn't bother Elizabeth much. She was only happy to play with the children and forget her own worries for a while, even though it was not easy after her conversation with Sarah in the same morning.
What really bothered Elizabeth, was that she had no idea what she should do next: She desperately wanted to do something for Mr. Darcy, but hardly knew what. She longed to see him, but was uncertain if he had any wish to see her. The last time they had met, Mr. Darcy had made it very clear that he wanted nothing but to be out of her sight, that Elizabeth remembered too well. And even if all this could be overlooked, there still remained the fact that it would be quite improper for her to try to contact Mr. Darcy in any way.
But I could call on Miss Darcy. , Elizabeth thought There is nothing improper if I want to renew my acquaintance with her, and my aunt could accompany me...
But still Elizabeth knew she could not bring herself to do that. She did want to meet Miss Darcy again as well as Mr. Darcy, but she did not want to intrude. Elizabeth felt that she, or any other visitors, could hardly be wanted, when the master of the house was seriously ill.
Elizabeth sighed. It seemed to be a hopeless case. She could not think of any way that she could be near Mr. Darcy with being an intruder. After all, it was not likely that he wanted to see her at all. Maybe it would be better for her to return home as soon as possible.
In any case, when it was time for her and her aunt to go out, Elizabeth made a quick decision to enjoy the walk and not think of Mr. Darcy before back in her room again.
It was indeed a wise decision, but very hard to keep, especially when Elizabeth after a short walk realised Colonel Fitzwilliam standing on the street, only a few yards away from them.
"Are you all right?" Elizabeth heard her aunt's voice asking, "You look like you had seen a ghost."
"I beg your pardon?" Elizabeth was forced to clear her mind from all the thoughts that seeing Colonel Fitzwilliam had brought there. "Yes...I am quite all right" she then stated, but did not manage to sound quite convincing, because, instead of giving her aunt a reassuring look, she still kept her eyes fixed on the Colonel, and before she even realised, her thoughts had run back to the Fitzwilliam family.
What am I going to do now?, Elizabeth thought. She wanted to go to talk to him and ask about his cousin, but she was afraid she would reveal too much of her feelings by doing so. She was afraid that she could not hide her anxiety and....if Mr. Darcy's condition again had taken a turn for worse, she did not want to hear it in the middle of a crowded street where anyone could see and hear her reactions. But before Elizabeth could make any further decisions on what to do next, she heard her aunt again calling for her attention. Unfortunately she had again missed Mrs. Gardiner's words and she had to beg her to repeat what she had said.
"Oh, never mind, it was nothing of great importance," said Mrs. Gardiner, but did not sound satisfied. She wanted Elizabeth to tell what was wrong, but she did not want to make her tell it against her will.
Before Elizabeth could find any excuse for her absent-mindedness, she saw the colonel turn his head, and for a moment their eyes locked. Colonel Fitzwilliam was clearly surprised to see Elizabeth, but if anything could be told from the smile that soon appeared to his face, the surprise was by no means unpleasant. With a few steps he instantly moved closer to the two ladies and, before Elizabeth could do anything to prepare herself for the conversation that now had to follow, he addressed her, "Miss Bennet! What a pleasant surprise to find you in town this time of year."
"Colonel Fitzwilliam," Elizabeth said and curtsied. The colonel was all ease and friendliness and of that Elizabeth was grateful. It made the unexpected meeting much easier for her than she had at first believed "It is indeed a pleasure to meet you. I believe you have not yet met my aunt, Mrs. Gardiner." Turning to her aunt, Elizabeth continued, "Aunt, this is Colonel Fitzwilliam. He was visiting his aunt, Lady Catherine, in Kent last April."
"Delighted to make your acquaintance, madam", said the colonel and bowed.
Mrs. Gardiner replied in the same manner and looked at the man approvingly. His kind, easy manners reminded her very much of his cousin, even though he perhaps was not quite as handsome as Mr. Darcy. After the introduction Mrs. Gardiner, however, drew back a little and settled to listen to the conversation between her niece and this gentleman. She had a strong feeling that it might perhaps give her a clue of what was going on in her niece's mind.
"I hope your family is in good health" asked the colonel soon, turning his attention back to Elizabeth.
"Yes, thank you, they are all in excellent health" replied Elizabeth and she knew that it was now or never that she would have to ask the colonel about his family's health if she was going to do that at all. For a moment Elizabeth stood in silence, unable to decide what to say next and when she realised she had to say something, she decided to stay on easy topics and avoid the issue that was foremost in her mind.
"Do you intend to stay long in town?" she asked in lack of anything better to say, but was soon ready to slap herself for such a stupid question, because it lead the conversation to the very direction that she had tried to avoid.
"As long as it is necessary", replied the colonel after a short pause "Last week I received news of alarming nature that called me to town immediately."
"Oh", was all Elizabeth could say. It was not very hard to guess what the news had concerned, but what Elizabeth really wanted to know was exactly how alarming the news had been.
"Yes" said the colonel "And it is most unfortunate that I could not come earlier, because the news were about my cousin, Mr.Darcy." He paused for a moment as if to see if his words had caused any reaction on Elizabeth, but as she stayed silent and kept her eyes fixed on the ground, he soon continued: "You probably have not heard, but he is very ill and has not been able to leave his room for many days."
Mrs. Gardiner raised her eyebrow. This was something she had not expected to hear. Mr. Darcy had been perfectly well when she had seen him at Lydia's wedding. It suddenly occurred to her that this might be the reason for her niece's uneasiness during the past few days. But how could she have learned of Mr. Darcy's illness? Mrs. Gardiner turned her worried look at Elizabeth to see how she was taking the news.
Elizabeth felt her aunt's eyes upon her and she blushed lightly as she responded to the colonel: "Actually I did hear from Mr. Bingley, when he returned to Netherfield, that Mr. Darcy had taken ill. But I was hoping that he would be better already."
Colonel Fitzwilliam shook his head: "I wish I could tell you so, but I am afraid it is actually the opposite situation. I have not seen him yet as I arrived only late last night, and I do not have the latest information of him, but before I parted from my regiment I received a message from Miss Darcy hurrying my arrival. I understood that my cousin's situation was not very promising."
"I am very sorry to hear it." Elizabeth managed to say. She was in no mood for any further discussion with the colonel, for he had brought her news that she had not wanted to hear. "I feel I cannot hold you hear any longer if you were on your way to see your cousin."
"Indeed I was on my way to see Darcy, but do not be distressed Miss Bennet, this short delay has by no means been unwelcome for me. It is always a pleasure to see you," said the colonel smiling. "But if you excuse me, I believe I shall have to take my leave now. Good-day, Mrs.Gardiner. Good-day, Miss Bennet."
"Good-day, sir."
Colonel Fitzwilliam bowed and then disappeared to the crowd. Mrs. Gardiner and Elizabeth stayed behind in silence. They were both too preoccupied with their thoughts to say anything. Mrs. Gardiner was just starting to realise the reason for her niece's low spirits and Elizabeth was thinking of the conversation she had had with the colonel. She felt miserable because none of the news she had heard of Mr. Darcy during the past few days had given her any hope of his quick recovery.
Meanwhile, at Darcy's townhouse, Georgiana had finished eating her breakfast and was now anxiously waiting for any news of her brother. It was almost noon and the doctor was still with Mr. Darcy. He had not come to speak to Georgiana, nor had he sent any word of her brother's condition. Georgiana had never felt more frustrated in her life. She could do nothing but wait, and so she waited. But time passed without anyone exiting or entering Darcy's room. The entire house was quiet, as if waiting for something big to happen. Georgiana walked restlessly from one room to another, around the house. She sat down for a while and tried to play piano in order to relax, but it was all in vain.
Not knowing what to do Georgiana stood up again and was just about to start wandering around the house again when she finally heard something. It was the doorbell. Someone was coming.
Oh no, not Caroline again, Georgiana thought, horrified. I don't think I could bear her visit right now. What am I to do?
But the visitor was not Miss Bingley. Georgiana's face lit up and she almost jumped of the joy when she heard the familiar voice of her cousin, Colonel Fitzwilliam, from the hall. He had finally come and Georgiana felt like a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Now she would finally have someone to talk to and to share her fears with.
"Richard!" Georgiana cried as she ran to the hall to greet her cousin. "I am so happy that you are here."
The Colonel smiled. "Why, is it not my favourite cousin?", he said playfully, but turned serious when he saw how pale and tired Georgiana looked. "I am so sorry I could not come earlier. Poor girl! How much you must have suffered here all alone."
Georgiana said nothing, but the Colonel knew her well enough to know that this had indeed been the case, and he cursed his regiment for not allowing him to leave at once, when he had first received the news of Mr. Darcy's illness.
"I am here now and I will not let you bear this all alone anymore.", he said reassuringly and then gave her a smile that instantly made the girl feel a lot better.
The colonel then offered his arm to Georgiana and lead her to the tea room, where he spoke again: "We shall now have some tea and you will tell me everything that is troubling you, and then you must go to have some rest. You look tired and it pains me to see you like that...and it would pain your brother as well, if he knew."
Georgiana blushed slightly. The Colonel was so kind to her, and she had almost forgot how it was to be taken care of by someone. Ever since her brother had become ill there had been no one to comfort her, and instead of being advised, she had been the one to give orders to everyone else. But, as much as Georgiana now liked being taken care of by Richard, she did not want to make him worry any more than was necessary.
"You are very kind, Richard, but I am fine", she assured the Colonel. "There is nothing wrong with me. I am just a little tired because I had to wake up so early this morning."
"I am happy to hear it", replied the Colonel, "But I would still like you to rest a little in the afternoon, so that you will also stay in good health."
Georgiana promised to take care of herself, and after this was settled, the two could started discussing about all the matters concerning Mr. Darcy's illness. Georgiana told everything that had been troubling her and the Colonel listened and assured her that everything would turn out to be all right.
When Georgiana had related all her hopes and fears concerning her brother and told of all the changes that there had been in his condition, she finally decided to speak to the Colonel of Darcy's delirious mumbling.
"There is yet one thing that I would like to hear your opinion of", she started, and them hesitated a while. "You see, my brother has been in delirium for a couple of days now, and there seems to be a certain name that he keeps repeating all the time."
The Colonel raised an eyebrow and was seemingly interested. Georgiana decided to go on, "It is all very strange", she continued. "It was the doctor who first noticed it, I believe, and this morning I heard it myself. First I thought William said 'please', but then I remembered what the doctor had said and I am almost sure that it was a name he was trying to say."
"A name?", asked the Colonel. "Have you any idea of whose name he is repeating?"
"I do not know for sure", replied Georgiana. "The doctor said it sounded like 'Elizabeth', and I believe I heard him say 'Liz', which could very well be an abbreviation of Elizabeth."
"Elizabeth?", repeated Fitzwilliam. "Interesting. We have no close relations of that name, so it must be an acquaintance. I wonder if it could be...?", the Colonel trailed off.
"...Miss Elizabeth Bennet?" Georgiana finished his sentence and then blushed for being so forward in her assumption. "I mean...she is the only Elizabeth that I could think of. I had the pleasure of meeting her this autumn at Pemberly and I believe my brother...likes her. I understood that you had met her as well, last April in Kent, when you were visiting Aunt Catherine with William."
The Colonel smiled and did not seem to be too surprised to hear Georgiana's speculations about her brother's feelings towards the lady in question.
"Yes, I had the pleasure of meeting Miss Bennet in Kent, as I had the pleasure of meeting her again this morning, " he finally said.
Georgiana looked at her cousin in bewilderment. She could hardly believe her ears. "Miss Bennet is in London? Oh, how I would long to se her again." Georgiana sighed.
"Then why don't you pay a visit to her?" asked the colonel. "You need to get out a bit, I am afraid you have stayed indoors for too long, and this would be a good chance for you to do so."
"But - I am sure she does not expect a visit from me." Georgiana said, almost horrified. "I do not know how I could dare to go alone. William always accompanied me whenever he could, if I had to pay a visit somewhere. And, besides, I do not even know where Miss Bennet is staying."
Georgiana was more than willing to renew her acquaintance with Elizabeth, who she had so much liked from their very first meeting and who she new to be very important for his brother, but she knew not how to overcome her shyness.
Fitzwilliam, who had known her young cousin from the day she was born knew very well what was bothering her, but as he also was certain that this visit would do only good for Georgiana, he decided to encourage her: "I met Miss Bennet with her aunt, Mrs. Gardiner - I believe you have met her as well - and I assume she is staying with her." The colonel said, smiling reassuringly. "I am sure they would both be very happy to see you again."
Georgiana sat quiet for a while. She wanted to go, especially if she could see the Gardiners at the same time, but she still felt she could not find the courage to go alone. "Will you not come with me, Richard?" she tried.
The colonel smiled. "I do not believe it to be quite proper, my dear cousin", he replied. "I have never met the master of the house, Mr. Gardiner, and I have only briefly been introduced to Mrs. Gardiner. They can hardly expect a visit from me. Besides, now that I am in town, I have some business to settle here, and the spare time I have I would rather spend here to see that your brother will be fine."
"Of course", sighed Georgiana. It was evident now that if she was to go, she would have to go alone.
"But you will be a good girl and go by yourself?" asked the Colonel, as if reading her thoughts.
Georgiana hesitated a moment and took a deep breath before she replied: "I believe I shall. I will pay a visit to the Gardiners and Miss Bennet tomorrow morning, after breakfast."
"I am happy to hear it, and I am sure your brother would be very proud too, to hear that you have been able to overcome your shyness", said the Colonel. "And of course you do not, and must not go quite alone. Mrs. Annesley will of course accompany you," he added.
They sat for a while together and the Colonel finished his tea. After a while he rose and looked at Georgiana. "I believe you should indeed have some rest now", he said "And I had better go to see your brother and meet the doctor."
Georgiana rose too. "I will do as you wish, but only if you promise to dine with me here tonight", she said. "I do not know how I could bear yet another lonely dinner with only Mrs. Annesley sitting across the table. She is very good, of course, but of little company."
"Then it is settled", replied the Colonel playfully. "I will join your merry party and try not to spoil the evening."
Then he turned on his heels and went to hear what the doctor had to say of his cousin, Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy.
The room was dark when Colonel Fitzwilliam went in to see his cousin. The doctor was sitting on a chair beside Darcy's bed and was obviously deep in his thoughts, so deep in fact that he hardly even noticed Fitzwilliam's entrance. The patient was lying on the bed, sleeping rather peacefully at the moment, but the doctor had his eyes fixed on Darcy's deadly pale face.
Fitzwilliam remained at the door for a while carefully contemplating both his cousin and the old doctor who hardly seemed to notice his presence. Finally, after making the sad notion that his cousin had never looked so ill and weak in his life, the Colonel stepped in and cleared his throat so that the doctor could hear him.
Startled, the man looked up, and for a while he stared at the Colonel as if he had no idea where he had come from and what he was doing in Mr. Darcy's bedchamber. Then he sighed, shook his head and smiled "I believe you must be Colonel Fitzwilliam. Forgive me Sir, Miss Darcy did mention that you were expected to arrive soon, but with all the other things in my mind, I nearly forgot about that."
"Yes, I am Richard Fitzwilliam." replied The Colonel politely "Mr. Darcy is my cousin and a very close friend of mine. And you - you must be Doctor White?"
The doctor nodded and showed Fitzwilliam the chair he had been sitting on. "If you have come to see your cousin, I believe you can take my place now so that I can safely take my leave for a while. There are some other patients I still have to see tonight."
"Thank you, sir, it was indeed my intention to see my cousin. But would you first be so kind as to tell me how he is doing at the moment?" asked the Colonel, looking at his cousin with great anxiety.
The doctor shook his head as he replied: "Mr. Darcy's fever was very high this morning. I have now fortunately managed to get it down again and I believe he should be better for the rest of the evening, but we have not won the illness yet. Mr. Darcy is very weak at the moment and there has not been very much hope of better so far. In other words, he should be getting better by now, but it looks like he was instead doing the opposite, little by little getting worse."
The Colonel only nodded his head for this piece of information. Then he stepped closer to Darcy's bed so as to better observe him, and what he saw shocked him greatly. Again he had to admit himself that he had never seen his strong cousin so weak, so sick and so pale. Darcy had always been the healthiest in the entire Fitzwilliam family and there had not yet been anything to keep him in bed for longer than a day or two, and now he had been lying there hardly conscious on his bed for days without any sign of getting better.
"What do you think doctor", asked the Colonel finally. "Do you believe that Darcy will get through this?"
The doctor hesitated for a moment. "I do not know," he then said. "Yesterday I was more hopeful than any time previous, but the drawback of this morning has again made me doubt his recovery. I am afraid the fever in the morning had a very bad effect on Mr. Darcy's recovery process."
The doctor then paused for a moment to take breath and to look around the room, as if to make sure there was no one else in there. Finally he continued: "I did not tell this to Miss Georgiana, but it seems to me that Mr. Darcy is somehow loosing his grip of this world. He hardly even notices the people around him anymore. It looks like he is slipping away from us before our very eyes and not even trying to do anything about it. I am afraid he will not hold on for much longer."
"Thank you, sir", said the Colonel quietly and sat down on the chair beside Darcy's bed. "Is there anything at all that I could do for him?"
"I believe sitting beside him and maybe trying to talk to him are the only things you, or anyone else, can do right now", said the doctor, wishing he could give more hope to the Colonel. "Only time will show what will happen. Let us hope for brighter future and believe that he will recover. "
"Yes, let us do that", replied the Colonel when he realised the doctor was waiting for his reply, but he was in no mood for conversation as he needed time to take in everything the doctor had said.
After standing for a moment in silence without receiving any further questions or remarks from the Colonel, the doctor soon excused himself and, after promising to be back later, he bid Fitzwilliam good-bye and left.
When the doctor was gone Fitzwilliam sat on his chair for a while in silence, just looking at Darcy and trying to find some colour or any other signs of health from his face, but it was all in vain. Suddenly he realised the awful truth that he might never be able to talk with his cousin - a cousin that was almost like a brother to him - again. He feared that Darcy would fade away just like the doctor had predicted, without ever getting fully conscious again, and that thought Fitzwilliam could not bear. What would he do if something happened to Darcy? And how could Georgiana bear loosing her beloved brother, after already loosing her both parents at a very young age? For the first time in his life the Colonel felt hopeless and knew not what to do, nor what to think.
It remains uncertain as to how long Fitzwilliam would have continued his questioning had he not suddenly heard a sound, a quiet groan, coming from Darcy's direction.
The Colonel instantly looked up at his cousin. "Darce?"
Another groanish sound from the bed.
"Darcy? It is me, cousin Fitzwilliam.", tried the Colonel, wishing that Darcy would just open his eyes and welcome him as if he had just been taking a nap. But with the doctor's words still clear in his mind the Colonel did not want to give himself too much hope and therefore did not really believe that Darcy would recognise him at all.
The more surprised he was when he soon heard yet another sound from Darcy's direction, and this time he could hear his own name being spoken by his cousin: "F-Fitz...?"
"Yes, Darce, I am here", Fitzwilliam hurried to reply. "Is there anything I can do for you?"
But, as soon as the moment had come, it was gone and Darcy was back to his normal state, before the Colonel had even finished his sentence. It did not help that the Colonel sat beside Darcy for a long a while to wait and see if his cousin would again say something. No - it all seemed to be in vain. The moment of recognition had been short and it was already gone, perhaps forever. After some more waiting Fitzwilliam finally gave up and was just about to leave the room when he suddenly heard Darcy's voice again:
"No, do not go, I beg you. Do not leave me." Fitzwilliam heard his cousin say, and he instantly turned around on his heels and ran back to Darcy's side...only to realise that it was not him that Darcy had been calling for. No, actually Darcy seemed to be totally unaware of the Colonel's presence, and he just continued his lament with closed eyes:
"Elizabeth...please don't go...I...I cannot..." , and thus his voice slowly trailed away. His sleep had become restless again, and Fitzwilliam could see pain written on his cousin's face, and it was not just the pain of his illness, there was something more to it, of that Fitzwilliam was now certain.
The Colonel stood still for a while, looking at Darcy and forming his decision. Determination was evident on his face as he soon knew what he had to do. He leaned gently toward his cousin and whispered into his ear: "Sleep now, cousin. I will bring Miss Elizabeth to you, if that is what you desire." He paused for a moment and then continued: "I will do everything that there is in my power to make you feel better. Just promise to hold on a little longer, will you?"
Fitzwilliam knew not whether Darcy had heard his words or not, but somehow he seemed to relax after the Colonel had spoken, and when Fitzwilliam soon after that left the room, Darcy was sleeping more peacefully than he had done in a long while.
When Elizabeth finally put the letter down, she was smiling, and that was the first genuine smile she had managed since learning of Mr. Darcy's illness. It was also the first time in days that Elizabeth actually felt there was hope. She hardly knew where this feeling had come from, nor did she have any idea of what it was based on, all she knew was that her mind had been at ease all the morning. She had thought of Darcy, but not with the same pain and distress she had felt earlier.
It was with these thoughts and mind that Elizabeth was about to join the others when she suddenly heard a carriage nearing the house. She turned back to the window, and to her great surprise she could see that the carriage belonged to Mr. Darcy, and that it seemed to be slowing down as if intending to stop in front of the house.
Elizabeth hardly knew what to think of and whether or not to believe her own eyes. She knew too well that the visitor could not be Mr. Darcy as Col. Fitzwilliam had only the day before informed them that he was still sick in bed, but neither could Elizabeth believe that Miss Darcy would come all alone to Cheapside, while her beloved brother was so close to death, only to meet people she had not met but once at Pemberley.
Before Elizabeth could think of anyone else who possible could arrive with the Darcys' carriage, she saw how the door was opened and that it was indeed Miss Georgiana Darcy who stepped out of it, followed soon after by a lady, who Elizabeth recognised to be Mrs. Annesley.
Elizabeth hurried to the drawing room to warn her aunt of the visitors and to be ready to meet them herself. Mrs. Gardiner had, however, already made the same notion and, although clearly amazed at Miss Darcy's visit, was already preparing for it. The children were sent away with their nurse and their toys were hurriedly collected from the floor. It was no sooner than this was done that they could hear the bell ring, and only a few moments later were Miss Darcy and Mrs. Annesley announced.
An awkward silence followed, during which Elizabeth tried to clear her thoughts and Mrs. Gardiner took one last look around the room to be sure that everything had indeed been cleared after the children. But before Georgiana could start feeling any despair because of her arrival at perhaps too early an hour, Mrs. Gardiner seemed to be satisfied with the room and turned to welcome her guests properly. Georgiana was soon made to feel truly welcome and all the fears which she might have had about the visit, began to vanish.
And Georgiana had indeed had her fears. She had in fact gone so far as to consider turning back when she already was on her way, but then she had thought of Col. Fitzwilliam and how very much he had wished that she would make the visit. In fact, this morning the Colonel had seemed more determined than ever that she should call on Miss Bennet, and as Georgiana believed it had something to do with her brother, she had felt she could not let the Colonel, much less her brother, down.
That was how Georgiana finally had made the decision to go, but it had not made the task any easier for her. At the moment they had entered, Georgiana had wished she could have hidden herself behind her brother's back like she always had before, and when Mrs. Gardiner warmly welcomed her to her house, she found it very hard to find the words to reply as was expected. Fortunately there was Mrs. Annesley to accompany her, and the lady soon replied to Mrs. Gardiner with all the civility and warmth that was needed, thus giving Georgiana some more time to gather her courage.
The visitors were soon invited to sit down and make themselves comfortable while some refreshments were called for. The two elder ladies soon engaged in a lively conversation about various topics, and they soon discovered that they had some mutual acquaintances both in London and Derbyshire. With pleasure Georgiana could notice that Mrs. Gardiner and Mrs. Annesley were fast becoming friends. They seemed to have a lot to talk about and their conversation required little partaking from Georgiana's side. Perhaps this visit would turn out to be an easy one after all.
Elizabeth, too, had been happy to only listen to the two ladies' conversation for a while, but after few minutes she decided to make an attempt to get to know Georgiana better and, even though she would not admit it to herself, also to try to get some information about her brother.
"Miss Darcy," she whispered, not wanting to disturb the others. "It's been a while since I last had the pleasure of meeting you."
Georgiana smiled shyly. She had wished to talk to Miss Bennet, but had not been able to overcome her shyness well enough to address her. Now that Elizabeth had done it for her she was ready to do her best to keep the conversation alive.
"It is indeed," she said, desperately trying to think of something wiser to say. She wished to tell Miss Bennet how much she had liked her at their first meeting and how much she wished that they could become friends, but she could not bring herself to make such a declaration. She did, however, add: "I hope we could meet each other more often now that we are both in London."
Elizabeth smiled. "That would be a pleasure."
A silence fell between the two of them for a while. Normally Elizabeth would have had no problems in finding topics to discuss, but now she found her mind too often wandering from Miss Darcy to Mr. Darcy, to turn it into any conversation. Georgiana, on the other hand, was too shy to start any discussion, even if she had been able to find a topic. Besides, at the moment she too found her mind too preoccupied with the health of his brother to think of anything to say.
Finally Elizabeth, however, decided there had to be some conversation if she wanted to learn to know Miss Darcy as she had intended, and so she picked the first topic that crossed her mind:
"Are you intending to stay long in town this year?" she asked.
"I don't know," Georgiana replied. "I wish we could all return to Pemberley for Christmas but..." Georgiana's voice trailed away.
"...but you don't know if your brother will be back in health by then." Elizabeth finished the sentence with a deep sigh, before even realising what she had just said and how much the way she had said that might have revealed. But Georgiana did not seem to notice anything peculiar about her words. She only sighed "yes", hardly audibly.
"I am deeply sorry for your brother," Elizabeth said, after having convinced herself that the topic could no longer be avoided. "Is he not any better?". She tried to hide her anxiety, but was not so sure of her success.
Georgiana looked at Elizabeth, as if only now realising what she had said just a moment ago. A new thought crossed her mind. Did Elizabeth understand her pain? Could it be that she too cared for William...?
"I hardly know," Georgiana then replied. "Yesterday morning was bad, but ever since last night he has slept more peacefully. The doctor had not yet arrived when I left, so I don't know what he thinks of it, but I believe my brother is better now than he was the day before." Georgiana took a deep breath. She had never believed herself capable of such a long speech, but she soon felt truly rewarded as Elizabeth smiled warmly in response.
Elizabeth did indeed smile, actually she was so happy she could almost have laughed. This was good news indeed! This was the first time Elizabeth had heard anyone saying that she believed Darcy to be better instead of being worse. But she had to remind herself that this was Georgiana's own view and it was not yet confirmed by the doctor's opinion. It was, however, encouraging to hear that all hope was not gone.
"I am very happy to hear that you think so, Miss Darcy," Elizabeth finally said, after composing herself. "It must be quite a relief for you and your family."
"It is indeed. We have all been so worried for such a long time," Georgiana sighed. It felt good to talk about her feelings and fears. She had kept it all to herself for so long. Colonel Fitzwilliam's arrival had of course helped a lot, but Georgiana knew he could never understand her like another female close to her own age could. That was why she had always wanted to have a sister.
If only I could make my brother and Miss Bennet meet each other again Georgiana thought. Then, perhaps, I might get the sister I have always dreamt of, and William would be happy and get better.
"Miss Bennet," she began, but didn't seem to know how to go on.
"Yes?"
"I- I would be very happy if you would call me Georgiana instead of Miss Darcy, it is so formal."
Elizabeth smiled. "Of course, Georgiana, but only if you will call me Elizabeth...or Lizzy, like my closest friends and family do."
Georgiana blushed. She liked the idea of being a close friend to Elizabeth. In her sheltered life she had never before had anyone who she could really have called a friend, no one to share all her thoughts and secrets with. But Elizabeth was exactly the kind of person she would like to call a friend - or even a sister, if that only could be arranged.
"Do you really think you could like me enough to become my friend?" Georgiana asked shyly.
"Of course," Elizabeth replied with a smile. "I think that would not even be hard."
"Then we will meet again very soon?"
"I do hope we will."
Georgiana hesitated. She wanted to invite Elizabeth to spend an afternoon with her, but she was not sure if it would be wise - and safe. "Miss. Bennet...Lizzy...Have you ever had the scarlet fever?" she finally asked
"Why, yes. I had it when I was a child," Elizabeth replied, puzzled
"Then, would you do me an honour and visit me some day, even tomorrow if that is convenient enough?" Georgiana asked with all her courage. "I feel so lonesome when I am alone in such a large house."
Elizabeth could hardly believe her ears. This was something she had been hoping for ever since she had left Longbourn: To be as close to Mr. Darcy as possible. And being under the same roof with him was surely the closest she could get.
"I would be delighted to come...that is, if it will not in any way disturb your brother's rest," she finally replied.
Elizabeth was more than willing to accept the invitation, but she wanted to be absolutely certain that she would not be in the way. Maybe Darcy did not want her near him at all, and her presence would only cause complications. It was a painful, but not altogether impossible idea. The last time they had met at the inn at Lambton, he had clearly wished to be out of her sight. The temptation to go, however, was great, and as Georgiana assured her that there would be no inconvenience of her visit at all, she finally accepted the invitation.
Soon it was settled between the two of them that the following morning Georgiana would send her carriage to fetch Elizabeth, they would spend the entire day together and after dinner the same carriage would take Elizabeth back home.
When everything concerning the following day was settled, Georgiana noticed that Mrs. Annesley was preparing to leave and realised, much to her surprise, that they had already stayed at the Gardiners over half an hour. It was time to be off and so Georgiana soon stood up with Mrs. Annesley, curtseyed and bid Mrs. Gardiner and Elizabeth good-bye.
Once back in the carriage, Georgiana could not help smiling. She was more than satisfied with the outcome of the visit. Tomorrow she would have an entire day to spend with Elizabeth and to become friends with her.
Elizabeth too was happy when she watched the carriage disappear from her sight. This morning had been better than she could even in her wildest dreams have expected. She had heard that Mr. Darcy was slightly better, and the following day she would meet Miss Darcy again and perhaps hear something new of her brother as well.
The following day dawned beautiful and sunny when Elizabeth woke up early in the morning. For the first time in many days she had slept well, and the morning sun that welcomed her when she opened her eyes gave her hope that this would be a good day for her. The promising news Elizabeth had heard from Georgiana the day before had given her new hope of Darcy's recovery, and the day she now was to spend with Georgiana at the Darcys' townhouse would give her the chance to hear again the latest changes in his condition. It was almost too good to be true.
The only thing Elizabeth regretted was that she knew it to be impossible for her to get to see Mr. Darcy in person, as he still could not leave his bed, but she told herself that given the conditions she should be happy to even spend a day under the same roof with him. Besides, she had remind herself, even if Darcy was well enough to receive visitors, she probably would not be on the top of his list of people he wanted to see, not after Lydia's and her entire family's disgrace.
It occurred to Elizabeth that Mr. Darcy would probably not want any member of her family to have anything to do with Georgiana either, but she could not bring herself to give up the visit. She really wanted to learn to know Georgiana better and more than anything she desired to learn the latest news of Mr. Darcy, and because it was most unlikely that Darcy would know about her visit, Elizabeth decided it was safe to go, even if it was only for this once.
So it was then, that soon after breakfast a carriage sent by Georgiana did arrive and Elizabeth entered it full of anticipation and anxiety of the upcoming day at the Darcys.
The way from Cheapside to the other end of the town was not short, but the ride seemed to be over all too soon for Elizabeth, whose thoughts were still unsettled of the expectations and fears she had. She knew she would be well received by Georgiana, no matter what her brother's opinion of her might be, and she was sure she would greatly enjoy her company. But to be so near to Darcy and yet be unable to see him was something that was not so easy to overlook.
Elizabeth was, however, enough at ease to smile warmly at Georgiana when she stepped out of the carriage to meet her outside. Georgiana had been eagerly waiting for her new friend's arrival all morning, and she had ran downstairs and out of the door as soon as she could see Elizabeth's carriage nearing the house, and the smile with which she was greeted was just the thing to make Georgiana's day nearly perfect. Quite perfect, however, it could not be as long as her brother was not well.
For a while the two of them stood there smiling at each other before Georgiana realised she was expected to say something.
"Good morning Miss Bennet", she finally managed to say. "I hope you had a pleasant ride"
"Yes I did, thank you", Elizabeth replied with a smile "It was quite pleasant, but didn't you yesterday agree to call me Elizabeth instead of Miss Bennet?"
Georgiana blushed. "Yes, I did, but I was not sure if you meant it. I thought you were perhaps only being nice to me."
"Would it have been very nice of me if I had told you to call me by my first name without really meaning it?" Elizabeth, who decided it was best to take a light approach to this, sighed with mock disappointment "I really was hoping you thought more highly of me than to believe me capable of such behaviour."
Georgiana smiled shyly as she realised she was being teased and replied, still blushing a little bit "You know I would not think that of you, Elizabeth."
A silence fell again between them for a short while before Georgiana could remember that they were still standing outside and that it was her responsibility as a hostess to invite Elizabeth in.
"I - I am sorry to have kept you standing here" she said apologetically "Let us go inside before we both catch cold."
The two then entered the house while the carriage was taken to the stables, and once inside Elizabeth could only stand still and wonder at the grandeur of the hall. It was large and beautifully decorated, much in the same tasteful style as Pemberley was, and when Georgiana led Elizabeth through the house to the drawing room, she could notice that the same beauty and taste were evident also in the corridors and other rooms they passed.
Elizabeth was tempted to ask who was responsible for the decorations, but she had not time to form her question before they entered the drawing room and Georgiana spoke:
"This is one of my favourite rooms. My mother made many changes in this house when she married my father, but this is the room she has designed nearly all by herself. This room was totally neglected when she came and she wanted to bring it back to life again. I think she made this one of the most beautiful rooms in the entire house and it is here that I feel I am closest to my mother."
Georgiana looked around and sighed. Then she realised she had perhaps spoken too much and looked at Elizabeth to see her reaction to her spontaneous speech. But she needed not fear: Elizabeth was only very touched that this shy girl wanted to share her deepest thoughts with her and she wanted to reassure her that the attempt of forming a closer friendship was appreciated.
"It is indeed a beautiful room", she said while looking around her and silently admitting to herself that the room truly was uncommonly pretty. "I don't think anyone with any sense could disagree about that."
"Well, Lady Catherine does", Georgiana smiled and rolled her eyes. She was already beginning to feel at ease with Elizabeth. "She says it is not grand enough and that she would never have a room like this at Rosings."
Elizabeth chuckled. "I can well imagine that. But I believe I did say 'anyone with any sense'."
"You did indeed, and I believe that pretty much rules Aunt Catherine out."
They both laughed heartily for a while, both feeling very satisfied about the way their friendship was so quickly forming. Then Georgiana again had to remind herself of her duties as a hostess and, after composing herself, she asked if Elizabeth wanted any refreshments or if she would prefer to take a turn in the house.
The idea of seeing more of the beautiful house was tempting and so Elizabeth soon declined any refreshments, stating: "I think a turn in the house would be more acceptable. I've seen enough of it now to know I want to see more."
"Would you care to see the library then? Or music room? Or perhaps the green room?" Georgiana asked excited. She wanted to show Elizabeth everything, but she was polite enough to ask if she had any wishes herself.
Elizabeth, however, guessing Georgiana's thoughts, replied that she would like to see anything Georgiana wanted to show her, and then gently suggested they would first go see the library.
"I take it you like books then?" Georgiana asked with much enthusiasm.
"Indeed I do. I used to spend a lot of time in my father's library when I was small, and I read all the books he recommended to me."
"Oh, I like reading too", Georgiana said in return. "William always buys me new books to read and he always takes very good care of the library and sees to it that all the new books of any significance will be added there." Georgiana paused, and then added with a deep sigh: "That is, he used to take very good care of it when he was in health."
Elizabeth, who much to her surprise had been able forget Mr. Darcy almost entirely during the merry morning she had had with Georgiana, was now again sadly reminded of him and for the first time it occurred to her to ask how he was doing this morning. She wasn't sure however whether this was the right moment to do so, or if it would be better to try to lift Georgiana's spirits again. But finally the temptation grew too great and she decided she had to find out.
"How is your brother right now?" Elizabeth asked after a short silence. "I believe you told yesterday that he was a bit better.....Is he still so?"
"I don't know", Georgiana replied almost tearfully. "I thought he was better because he was finally able to sleep rather peacefully. He slept quite well last night too, but the doctor was still not quite so sure. He says William might be getting better, but that the peacefulness could be interpreted in another way as well."
"In what way?" Elizabeth asked, scarcely able to draw breath.
"I do not know, the doctor was not very precise, but I fear - I fear he meant that William is so calm because he is....he is d-dying soon." Georgiana stammered out before bursting into tears.
The pain Elizabeth felt at hearing this was perhaps greater than she had ever felt before and she felt her knees going weak, but she tried to fight back her tears for Georgiana's sake.
"Oh, dear Georgiana. I am so sorry I have made you cry", she managed to say, but when she realised that no words would help, she went to hug her and let Georgiana cry on her shoulder while she herself tried to control her own pain.
"No, it is not your fault", Georgiana sobbed. "I am happy that you are here. Without you I would have spent the entire day crying in my room."
Then, getting control of herself again, she pulled back and tried to dry her tears. "It is I who should be apologising. I invited you here and had every intention of having a nice day with you, but now instead I am drawing you to my worries and making everyone miserable." Georgiana said and then paused to take a look at Elizabeth, only to see how pale she had turned. She then decided to swallow her tears, and after a short pause she was ready to continue again, now in a bit lighter tone: "And I really should not have brought that up at all, because I may just as well have misinterpreted the doctor's words. I have been so worried about my brother lately that I have begun to believe all kinds of things. And even if the doctor meant what I thought he did, he still did say that there was also hope that William might indeed be getting better."
Elizabeth tried to find something reassuring to say, but she feared that if she opened her mouth now she would not be able to keep her feelings secret any longer. She was not sure how much her face had already betrayed her, but she knew there was nothing she could do about that.
After a short silence, however, Elizabeth forced herself to speak:
"Let us hope that that is indeed the case." she said in as normal a voice as she possibly could manage. "But if you feel the need to cry, remember that you do not need to be ashamed to do so in my company."
Georgiana smiled "Thank you."
The girls stood still for a while, both wondering how to get their conversation back to the light chatter they had been enjoying before getting to the subject of Mr. Darcy. Finally Elizabeth remembered that they had been on their way to the library, and she suggested they would go to see it now.
"Yes, that would be an excellent idea!" Georgiana exclaimed, happy to find anything new to turn her mind into. "Perhaps we could now get those refreshments as well."
"Very well" replied Elizabeth, who now was most ready to accept.
"Will you go to the library while I go order us something? It is just down the hall, last door on the left. You can't miss it."
"Thank you, I will be waiting for you there." Elizabeth replied with a smile as she turned to go the way Georgiana had showed.
She had already spotted the door leading to the library when she noticed another door nearby that was half open. First Elizabeth intended to pass it, as she knew she had no business there, but curiosity drew her to look what was inside. The room was dark and it took a while for Elizabeth's eyes to adjust to the lack of light, but little by little she could discern some pieces of furniture, and finally a large bed, on which someone was lying, in the other end of the room.