Section I, Next Section

Chapter 1

Posted on Thursday, 11 July 2002

As Mr. Darcy slammed the door to the cottage Elizabeth sunk into tears of despair and regret. She knew that she had been unkind but Mr. Darcy had shocked her with his proposal in such a way as could not be described. Mr. Darcy, in love with her? The prideful, arrogant Mr. Darcy that deemed her too plain to dance with? Her heart washed with questions and anger when she heard another knock at the door. "Could he be back?" Elizabeth wondered. Panic now filled her mind. Her heart raced "What should I say?" She quickly wiped her tears aside and attempted to seem unaffected. She heard the door open and turned her face toward it. Yet instead of seeing bold, brooding Mr. Darcy, she saw her kind friend Colonel Fitzwilliam.

"Colonel, it is a pleasure to see you. I hope you have not come all this way to see my headache and me. Will your Aunt not be dismayed at your absences?" Elizabeth probed at his reasoning for being there. She was suddenly struck with the fearful though, that he could possibly be assisting Mr. Darcy in his proposal. She took a deep breath to fortify herself against the worst.

The Colonel finally spoke letting out a sigh as he crossed the room to her side.

"Miss Bennet, I have come to inquire of your health. You do not look well, would you wish me to call a doctor?"

"That will not be necessary Colonel it is but a headache. I will be revived in the morning, I think I was out in the sun too long."

"I am sorry, this my fault, do forgive me for being the cause of your ailment." Colonel Fitzwilliam sat on the chair next to Elizabeth and gently took her hand.

Elizabeth was a bit taken back. The Colonel was not acting like his usually jovial self; she knew something must be amiss. She softly put her hand on his.

"Colonel I beg you not to worry but now I am worried about you. You do not seem yourself tonight, is there something wrong at Rosings?"

Fitzwilliam looked at her delicate white hand that so gently rested on his. He took a deep breath and gazed into Elizabeth's eyes.

"Dearest Miss Elizabeth, my only ailment is that of undying admiration and love for you."

Elizabeth had to restrain herself from gasping, Colonel Fitzwilliam in love with her? This is what she thought she had hoped for but had thought unimaginable, yet here he was divulging his undying love. He continued in his address as these thoughts flew through her mind.

"I have truly enjoyed your company here and have grown to adore you. I was not aware of how deep my emotions lay until I heard of you being ill this evening. The thought that I might not be able to see you again before I left tore at my heart. I knew then that I wanted to see you everyday for the rest of my life. Money, land and rank mean nothing to me because I love you. Dearest Elizabeth, please say you will give me the honor of being my wife."

Fitzwilliam had gone to his knees during his speech, still holding his beloved's hand. Elizabeth's heart was then in turmoil. She had thought of this moment, she could not deny, but she had never been sure of its occurrence. Her mind screamed, "Yes, tell him yes" but her heart burned at the pain this would cause Mr. Darcy. The pause extended and Fitzwilliam became worried. He lightly squeezed her hand.

"Elizabeth, please tell me if I have room for hope or if I shall never be blessed with your hand." The earnestness in his voice touched Lizzy's heart. She knew she could not turn such a man away. After all, she did care for him, didn't she? As renewed tears came to her eyes she softly touched the eager face in front of her.

"Yes Colonel, I will marry you."

At these words the Colonel was resorted to his old jovial self. Leaping to his feet he grasped Lizzy's hands dramatically.

"Who would have ever know I would have found my bride on this torturous trip! My bride, how good that feels to say! I feel like dancing I am so happy. Come my dear, dance with me!"

Fitzwilliam pulled her to her feet and twirled her around the room in a flourish of twirls and spins. Elizabeth felt like a little girl-playing ball with her friends. His joy made happiness rise inside of her as well. They continued to sweep around the room, hearing their own music until Fitzwilliam suddenly stopped and looked down at Lizzy's flushed face. They were both breathing heavily from their reel around the room.

"Elizabeth" Fitzwilliam sighed, "I know I have made the right choice. I do love you so."

As he spoke these words, he bent his head closer to hers until his lips rested lightly on hers. A feeling of peace swept over Elizabeth and she too felt she had made the right decision. After a brief kiss, Fitzwilliam elegantly sat his lady down and gathered his hat and gloves.

"Well my lady, I must be back to the horrid castle before they miss me too much. I cannot wait to tell Darcy, he will never believe I am actually going to settle down."

At the mention of Mr. Darcy's name Elizabeth dropped from her euphoria and back into reality.

"No you must not!" Elizabeth shouted, rising from her seat before catching herself.

"Why not my dearest, he is my cousin after all and my best friend. I assure you he will not leak the news."

Elizabeth collected herself and responded coolly "Well my dear, I was hoping that we could wait a few days before we told anyone, just our little secret until we are both on our way from Rosings and toward the consent of my father. Would you agree to this little request my dearest?"

Though he did not quite understand her reasoning Fitz could not say no to Elizabeth when she looked at him with her glistening brown eyes.

"I give in my sweet, I shall wait to tell him till we are in town. I cannot say no to you! I do promise that I will not be in town long for I wish to ask your father for permission as soon as I may. I shall try to see you in the morning before I go, if not I shall steal one last memento to help me survive the time I am to be without you." At this Fitzwilliam stole one last, tender kiss from his betrothed and walked out the door leaving Elizabeth alone with her thoughts.

Lizzy collapsed on the nearest sofa. Her mind was moving even faster than before. Two proposals in one night, was it a dream or a nightmare, she could not decide. She was relieved that the Colonel had agreed to put off his announcement until London. That would save her the pain of seeing Mr. Darcy's reaction. She only hoped that Mr. Darcy did not betray their earlier discussion to his cousin. She was ashamed of how she had spoken to her future cousin, the pain that she saw in his eyes. Yet anger still bubbled inside of her at his coarse and insulting words. As she mentally reran both scenes in her mind when she heard the stomping of hooves. She had lost track of time, the Collins were already home from Rosings. Elizabeth dashed up the stairs, afraid that Charlotte would be able to decipher the events of the night just by looking at her face.

Chapter 2

Darcy sat at his desk writing a letter feverishly to Elizabeth. He wanted to explain himself to her; he did not want her to think of him as the evil cruel man she portrayed in their conversation earlier that evening. Darcy was putting his soul onto the paper in front of him. His chest burned with pain and his eyes stung with the tears of dreams broken. He could not believe that she did not want him. Not just that she did not want him but that she HATED him. He could not bear to think of it for too long. As his thoughts surrounded him, the door opened and in walked cheerful Richard.

"My dearest Darcy, what a beautiful evening it is. It was a regret that Miss Bennet could not have joined us but the night air is refreshing and I am a happy man."

Richard strode confidently toward Darcy and threw himself on his bed. Darcy was not in the mood for cheerfulness.

"Richard do you have a reason for being here or have you just come to annoy me?"

Darcy growled at his cousin. Richard was taken aback; he could not remember the last time his friend had spoken to him in such a way.

"Darcy, what is going on, is there bad news from Georgina? Please tell me what is the matter."

Concern filled Richard's voice as he tried to help his forlorn cousin. Darcy knew that unless he wanted to spill his soul to Richard he had better act more gentlemanly.

"Richard I am sorry, it is nothing of the sort. I think I am just in a bad mood from being around Aunt Catherine for so long. I am ready to leave."

"I do agree with you on the annoyance of Aunt Catherine but I do have to say that this visit was more enjoyable than I had expected. It was a nice surprise to have the company of the Collins, Miss Lucas and Miss Bennet, don't you think?"

At the mention of Elizabeth's name Darcy's heart sunk, he could not continue in this line of conversation, he wanted to finish his letter.

"Yes, yes Richard I guess it was but none the less I am ready to leave. If you do not mind I have some last minute business to deal with before we leave in the morning, so if you would please excuse me."

"Oh yes Darce, I am sorry to have bothered you. We will always have time to talk while we are in London."

Richard winked to himself as he quietly left the room. He mentally started planning his method of announcing his engagement to Miss Bennet. Darcy turned his attention back to his letter as he tried to decide the best way to deliver it to her.

Chapter 3

It had been but two days since he and Colonel Fitzwilliam had arrived in London. He still had so much to think about. He had given Elizabeth his letter and now hoped that she believed its contents. He could not stop thinking about her. He tried all he could but her words; her face and her voice clouded his mind and haunted him constantly. He wished to escape these thoughts so he had invited his friends for dinner that evening. He was expecting them at any moment. He so hoped that having them around would distract him from the beautiful ghost that refused to leave him in peace.

At that moment the study doors swung open and in trounced his closest friends, Mr. Bigley and Colonel Fitzwilliam. Following the two good-humored men was Mr. Darcy's sister Miss Georgiana Darcy. She was a quite but beautiful girl that always warmed his heart when he saw her. His friends gathered around him, both speaking at once.

"Darcy, old man, it is good to see you again. I hope you are well. Fitz here tells me you have been a bit dark since Rosings. I guess good ole Lady Catherine could do that to any man, huh?!"

Fitz and Bingley laughed as Darcy forced a smile on his face.

"It is good to see you again Bingley. Come and sit please. You too Richard. Georgiana you can come sit by me." Darcy was determined to be his old self again.

" So what is new in the lives of my dearest friends?" Darcy leaned forward in earnest.

"Well not much in the Bingley household. I am just trying to stay sane living in the same house as Caroline. I know she is my sister but at times she can get a bit irritating."

"You have never spoken so wisely my friend" piped in Fitz.

Bingley breathed deeply "She is still my sister you know Fitz, I cannot be too harsh" Darcy and Fitz smiled at Bingley's loyalty to his family.

"So what is going on with you lately Fitz, no beautiful women to tell us tales of?"

Darcy shot both men a look that reminded them that his sister was still in the room with them. They understood and the Colonel decided this was the chance he had been looking for to inform his friends of his engagement.

"Well I do actually have some news for my dear friend and my cousins. Don't worry Darce, this is the kind of information your sister will enjoy hearing."

"Well what is it man, don't keep us waiting." Bingley reassured his friend.

"Alright, it is big news so lets try not to laugh because I am serious. Are you ready? Well the news is that I, Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam, am engaged!" Bingley and Georgiana were caught speechless. Their friend and cousin to be married, he must be kidding with them.

"Cousin who is the lucky young woman?" Georgiana found her voice and asked.

"I think your brother might be able to guess who my future bride is to be."

Darcy looked Fitzwilliam in the face "I should know? Well let me think- she must be very rich, right Richard?"

" Oh dear cousin you are wrong on this point. For me love has out weighed the desire for money. Try again my friend."

Darcy was confused; this was so out of character for his cousin. To marry without money never seemed to be an option in his position but he had recently learned that what is expected of a person can change because of love.

"Well then my friend I do not know, please fill us in on who this lucky, beautiful (I assume I am correct with the beauty) woman might be. Please do not tell me it is Aunt Catherine's maid, she was charming but Fitz really..." Darcy joked as he waited for Richard's announcement.

"Dear cousin you are right about her beauty. I think you also once said she was beautiful and accomplished. I cannot believe you have not guessed correctly. Alright then I will just have to tell you, but I had planned that you would have guessed. I am flexible. I have asked and have been received by the most beautiful Miss Elizabeth Bennet."

As the name was spoken Darcy's face fell from that of excitement to despair. He thought to himself "No it cannot be. Not MY Elizabeth. He cannot, she would not, this cannot be!"

Darcy felt as if he was going to fall into hysterics, he wanted to reach out and grab his cousin and make him declare it a joke but as the others in the room swarmed around Richard offering congratulations Darcy realized that this was not a cruel joke, but reality. The pain he felt was indescribable. His mind was swimming and his heart felt as if it would burst. He thought it would be bad living with out her, but now he knew it would be worse living with her right in front of him with another man.

As Darcy's mind spun nearly out of control one thought came to his mind. It seemed that Richard knew nothing of what had passed between him and Elizabeth. His casual, friendly attitude seemed to convey that message. Darcy decided in that moment that he wanted it to stay that way. He felt as if it would be easier without him knowing, it would be less awkward. As hard as it was to be, he resolved that he must let no one suspect his pain. While Darcy was lost in these thoughts Bingley was offering congratulations.

"Congratulations old man, she is a wonderful girl. Have you spoken to her father yet?"

"No I am headed there on the morrow."

"Well where are you meaning to stay? I assume it would not be proper to stay with the Bennets if you are engaged to Miss Elizabeth."
"Well Bingley I had not even thought of that too deeply. I think I might just stay at the inn for my interim there. It should not be too inconvenient and it would keep any talk from starting."

Bingley's eyes brightened as he got a refreshing idea.

"Oh dear Fitz, you do not want to stay at the inn, it is not quite up to your standards. Well, I have just had the most wonderful idea. Why don't you stay at Netherfield? It is a wonderful place and so close to the Bennets?!"

"That is kind of you Bingley but I would hate to impose on your house, especially if I am there alone. I will stay at the inn, have no worries."

"No no no my dear friend. I think I have decided. You will stay at my home and I think I will come with you to Netherfield. Yes, that is right. We shall go together. Darcy and Georgina, why don't you come too. It would be so fun to relive those exciting times we had there last year. Please say you will all come."

Richard looked to Darcy and Georgiana. Darcy did not want to go, he did not want to relive those times he spent last year in the presence of his now lost love. Yet when he looked at Georgiana, and saw the expression on her face of excitement and expectation, one that had been missing for too long, it was too much for the weakened Mr. Darcy. He knew he would have to see Elizabeth in the future anyway; she would be his cousin, the wife of his favorite cousin. He would just have to get used to it, no matter how painful it might be for him.

Bingley looked to Darcy for a finally response.

Darcy let out a soft sigh, "Yes, we shall go, but not until Richard has sent word of Mr. Bennet's approval."

Darcy stepped toward Richard "And allow me to finally offer you my most sincere congratulations."

Sighing to himself again he used all of his will power to offer his hand to Richard in congratulations, vowing to forget that he ever cared for the woman that would now be his cousin.

Chapter 4

Richard had noticed a difference in Darcy that night. He had expected surprise and excitement, even a little kind hearted jesting but he had instead found a very quite, subdued man that in no way resembled the cousin he knew so well. Richard knew that there was something bothering Darcy.

"Well what a night! I cannot tell you how it has worn on me to keep this secret from you. Even for a few days. It was Elizabeth's idea, you know- to keep it a secret. I wanted to run home announcing our engagement from the rooftops but she asked for restraint. I see now that she was wise. Aunt Catherine would have been very rude I am afraid, but now she is miles away and I have no worries!"

Richard leaned back in his chair elated but paused for a moment as his eyes rested on the slouching form of Darcy.

"I take it back, I do have one worry and my dear friend it is for you. You have not seemed yourself tonight, are you displeased with my decision? Do you not approve of my Miss Elizabeth?"

Darcy kept his eyes glued to the floor, not wanted to let his expression of pain and hurt be conveyed by them. He searched for an acceptable answer to Richard's question.

"Well, it is not that I do not approve of Miss Bennet" her name was almost too painful to speak aloud. " It is just that I am concerned for you and for her welfare. I care very much about you, my dear cousin, and in your eagerness to marry Miss Bennet I am afraid that you have taken on a burden that might become tiresome after Miss Bennet's beauty and vivacity fails as a result of a difficult life. I do not want to see your spirit broken by a weighty marriage and I do not want to see Miss Bennet, a friend of mine, in the same position."

Having said this Darcy lifted his eyes to meet those of his cousin expecting a fierce rebuttal. Yet Richard had always had a way of doing just what Darcy did not expect. Richard rose to his feet and took the seat next to Darcy, silently but purposefully.

"Darce, you are my dearest friend and my favorite cousin. I am touched by your concern for my future wife and me; it shows me that you care deeply for us. It is because of this that I wish to reassure you that I know that life will not be as easy and carefree as I am used to but I also know that I am willing to make those sacrifices for a woman that lights up my life in a way I have never experienced before. I love Elizabeth and I will live every day of my life in service to her and our future family. This I promise you."

These strong words hit Darcy at full force. Richard did love Elizabeth. This was much more painful than Darcy's previous ideas of Richard. Thinking that he was merely infatuated with Elizabeth, as he had been with so many other girls. If that had been true, he still would have had hope but now... He was not tricking himself into love, it seemed real. As a result of this discovery Darcy turned to his cousin with a renewed attitude. He reminded himself of his earlier resolve, Richard must never know of his feelings.

"Oh Richard, I am acting like I am Miss Bennet's father. You must excuse me. I think I have been carried away. I am...happy for you and I wish you... both the most wonderful life together. You should be on your way to bed if you want make it to Longbourn and your Miss Bennet tomorrow. It is quite a ride."

Darcy attempted a weak smile. Richard looked at Darcy intensely still sensing something was wrong. He nodded and slowly walked out the large doors of his library. When the door shut Darcy let the façade drop and placed his weary head into his hands. He knew he would get no sleep that night.

Chapter 5

Elizabeth sat in her room preparing for the day to come. She had received a letter from Richard informing her that he would be arriving that day in order to gain the permission of her father for her hand. He also added in this letter that he had disclosed their engagement to Mr. Darcy, Mr. Darcy's sister and Mr. Bingley. All of who would be joining Richard at Netherfield as soon as he could convey her father's permission for the engagement.

The thought of Mr. Darcy discovering their engagement brought a pain to Elizabeth's chest. She thought of the injustices she had placed on Mr. Darcy, injustices that had been explained in the letter he had given to her the day after his proposal. She knew it would be most difficult to see him again and she felt that if she ever wanted to feel comfortable around him again she must apologize for her unladylike actions. Knowing this she felt jittery. She knew that her father would approve and that would mean that Mr. Darcy would be with in a few miles of her soon. She was frightened and excited, a strange combination of emotions that she had never experienced before.

What she could not understand is why her mind had been clouded with thoughts of Mr. Darcy for the past few days. She would start thinking of her fiancé and end up thinking of Mr. Darcy. These thoughts only brought her pain and regret. Though she still thought ill of his interference in the affairs of her sister and Mr. Bingley, she also shuddered at the way she had spoken to him. If he was truly a man in love, she could only imagine the pain she had put upon him with her words, and now even more so with her actions. Elizabeth could not deny she cared for Colonel Fitzwilliam, but she hated that her care for him could cause pain to another. As Elizabeth was lost in her thoughts a knock came to her door.

"Yes, come in."

Hill slowly opened the door. "Miss Elizabeth, there is a man here to see you. A Colonel Fitzwilliam. He is waiting in the drawing room, do you want to see him?"

Elizabeth's heart jumped in her chest. Could it be possible that he was here already?

" Uh, yes Hill, please let him know that I will be down shortly."

Hill nodded and shut the door. Elizabeth crossed to her mirror, checked to make sure she looked presentable, pinched her cheeks and put on her best smile. She vowed to be cheerful. After all, she had no desire for Richard to know what had passed between her and Darcy.

Elizabeth made her way gracefully down the stairs and approached the drawing room. As she walked through the open door, she saw the man she was to marry. Richard was alone in the drawing, a surprise to Lizzy. She decided that her mother and sisters must be out of the house or she was sure he would have been mauled by now. Upon hearing Elizabeth enter the room Richard stood breathless, looking upon the woman he loved. They both stood frozen on opposite ends of the drawing room as a slightly awkward silence passed. Richard was first to break the frozen scene.

"My dear Elizabeth, it is so refreshing to see you again." Richard crossed the room quickly to where Elizabeth stood transfixed.

" I have missed you these past weeks. I am excited and to be honest, a bit nervous to talk to your father. I need your reassurance my dear." Richard gently took Elizabeth's bare hand and kissed it lightly.

Elizabeth's tongue was loosened and she spoke jovially to her betrothed.

"I have thought of you often too, Richard. I am glad you are here. I regretfully must tell you that I cannot reassure you very much in the task of talking to my father for I would wish it upon no man. He can be quite difficult when he wants to be but I do believe he will give in to your request, if you are persistent that is."

A coy smile rested on Elizabeth's lips. Richard could not resist the temptation. He pulled Elizabeth into his arms, where he had longed for her since they had parted. He leaned his head down toward that coaxing smile and placed a light, tender kiss on her smiling lips.

As if rejuvenated Richard stepped back and took a deep breath.

" I am ready to go into battle. I shall not return until I can claim victory!"

Elizabeth laughed lightly

"As long as both you and my father come out of this battle alive and well, I wish you luck and valor! He is in the library if you wish to see him presently."

Richard put on his best knight in shinning armor face and bravely marched off to face the man in the library. Elizabeth sat down on the large overstuffed chair that Richard had just been sitting on, waiting for the news of that would change her future.

Chapter 6

As Darcy looked out the window the scenery was starting to become familiar and as time progressed, almost painful. He knew it would take much self-mastery to make this a successful visit, but Darcy prided himself on his self-mastery. Soon the rumbling carriage turned up the familiar path to Netherfield Hall. Memories came flooding back, but a dam was being built inside of Darcy's head to restrain them. As the carriage came to a hault, Darcy gently awoke his sleeping sister.

"We are here Georgiana. Wake up, we are here." Georgiana slowly came to her senses.

"Oh William are we really here? I am so pleased! I hope we are to meet Miss Bennet soon. I wonder what she is truly like!"

Georgiana gushed as she gathered her small traveling parcels and prepared for the decent from the carriage. Darcy was surprised by her vivacity on the subject of Elizabeth. Georgiana's desires would not be postponed long for out the great front door came the familiar face of her cousin, Mr. Bingley and the striking features of a lovely woman wearing a light yellow dress, Miss Bennet.

Georgiana urged her brother out of the carriage. Mr. Darcy descended slowly, reminding himself to push down the feelings of nervousness, panic and jealousy that he was feeling so vividly inside of him. He helped Georgiana from the carriage and they turned together to greet the awaiting figures. Colonel Fitzwilliam spoke first.

"Oh it is a pleasure to see you both again" Richard greeted Darcy with a hearty handshake while he tenderly kissed Georgiana on the cheek. After finishing his formal greetings Richard stepped back to introduce his future bride.

"Georgiana, this is Miss Elizabeth Bennet. Soon enough she is to be your cousin. I know you shall both get along so well, you have much in common. I am sure your brother will agree."

Mr. Darcy just nodded his head, trying desperately to refrain from making eye contact with Elizabeth. He felt he could control himself best if he was not to speak at this moment.

Miss Darcy nodded toward Elizabeth and quietly responded, "It is my pleasure to meet you Miss Bennet. I have heard wonderful things about you from my cousin and my brother."

Elizabeth hesitated slightly after Miss Darcy's last comment. Could she have spoken correctly? Mr. Darcy has spoken well of her?

Elizabeth pushed the slight comment to the back of her mind as she stepped forward to Miss Darcy and offered her hand.

"Miss Darcy, I must insist that if we are to be cousins, you must call me Elizabeth. That will only do!" Georgiana smiled and lightly laughed. Mr. Darcy was impressed already at the effect this vivacious woman was having on his shy sister.

"Well Elizabeth then you must call me Georgiana. You are right, if we are truly to be cousins, it would not do for us to be calling each other by such formal names. Thank you." Miss Darcy spoke with utmost seriousness in her voice.

Elizabeth was struck by Georgiana's sincerity. She truly did appreciate such a small gesture toward kindness. Elizabeth took note of this for she felt she could assist this shy girl in the future.

"Thank you too Georgiana, I look forward to our time together." Both women smiled.

Richard elbowed Darcy and gave him a look of pride over his fiancé. Darcy felt pride for Miss Bennet too but the smile on Richard's face reminded Darcy that she was not his to be proud of. Hurt and slightly annoyed Darcy dropped his smile and looked away.

"Well" the Colonel exclaimed to Georgiana "don't let us keep you outside for too long. We want you to be able to settle before dinner. Lizzy will be staying with us for dinner, so you two can get to know each other better then. For now Georgiana, why don't you go to your room and get settled. You too Darcy. We shall meet in the dinning room at 7."

The party slowly dispersed. Mr. Darcy was shown to his room, it was the same one he had occupied during his last stay at Netherfield. It was spacious and well decorated but there seemed to be a chill in the room that reminded him of the past, he did not like it. Darcy turned to the servant.

"Please light a fire for me. This room needs some warmth." The servant was a bit startled as it felt pleasant to him in the room, but he knew that what Mr. Darcy wanted Mr. Darcy should be given. He bowed to Mr. Darcy.

"Yes sir, I will see too it while you are at dinner, sir."

"Thank you. Now if you will leave my things I will get ready for dinner."

The servant carefully placed Mr. Darcy's bags down and closed the door to his bed chamber. As Darcy heard the door shut he lay himself on the bed. His mind was racing a mile a minute.

"What could I have been thinking. I cannot believe I thought I would be able to survive this situation. It is too soon, too soon. I cannot deny that I still love this woman. It cannot be right for me to be here."

These thoughts chased around Darcy's head as he forced himself to rise and change for dinner. He considered excusing himself and claiming sickness but he knew that this would upset Georgiana and he did not want that. He would just have to try to pretend that Richard's fiancé, Miss Bennet, was not the woman he once thought of as his Elizabeth.

Chapter 7

"Oh here I go again. I need to keep my thoughts off of this man. Why can I not stop thinking of Mr. Darcy constantly? I will just have to try to be friends with him and perhaps my guilt, and these thoughts, will depart."

Elizabeth was startled from her thoughts at the sound of the library door opening. She turned to see who had entered, expecting her fiancé. Instead she saw the taller, more striking form of Mr. Darcy. Dressed for dinner he looked very handsome. For the first time ever, he seemed to be at ease. Miss Bennet did not wish to disturb this man she had already caused so much pain to but she knew she must speak or risk much embarrassment when he discovered her. She quietly cleared her voice to gain his attention. Mr. Darcy turned at the distinctly feminine noise he had heard. His heart jumped.

"Just my luck! I should have stayed up stairs and I knew it. What am I to do now? How do I excuse myself from this situation? "

Before Mr. Darcy could say anything to excuse himself, Miss Bennet had already stood and decided to start on her crusade to clear her conscience and regain her thoughts.

"Mr. Darcy, it is a pleasure to see you again."

Miss Bennet approached him with a friendly smile. Darcy bowed and turned to leave the awkward situation but Elizabeth would not allow it.

"No please do not leave Mr. Darcy, I do not mind your company. Please come and sit with me."

Mr. Darcy was shocked. He turned back to Elizabeth with surprise in his chest. This was the most friendly Elizabeth had ever been toward him.

"Has Richard encouraged her to take pity on me? No, Richard did not even know I needed pity."

Mr. Darcy slowly made his way over to the couch Miss Bennet had been sitting on. He took the armchair next to her seat. There was an awkward silence.

"Ok Elizabeth, this is going to be harder than you thought. What do you say now 'Sorry for breaking your heart and then getting engaged to your favorite cousin?' That will not do."

Elizabeth faltered and fell back on the safest form of conversation she knew "How was your ride, Mr. Darcy?" She cringed at hearing the formality of her tone.

"It was fine. Georgiana enjoyed seeing this part of the country. She has never been this way before. She found it remarkably lovely for this time of the year." Yes these are safe topics. I will do well speaking like this. Thank you Miss Bennet.

"Oh, that is wonderful. I am quite prejudiced to this area but I have heard that Derbyshire is lovely as well. Richard speaks of it all the time. He says that Pemberley is an estate to be envied by kings. I often tell him he must be exaggerating but I thought I would come to the source on this one."

Elizabeth smiled at Darcy as she spoke lightly. She thought this was a safe topic but she could not have guessed the pain she was giving Mr. Darcy at that moment.

The mention of Richard brought Darcy back to reality. Elizabeth cared about Derbyshire and Pemberley because it was a part of her future husband's family history, not because Mr. Darcy lived there.

"Why did she have to go and bring Richard into this?" Darcy took a slight breath and decided the best way to respond.

"Of course I think that Derbyshire is the most lovely part of England. As for Pemberley, I don't know if kings envy it but I know Richard does." Darcy forced a laugh and was surprised at the laugh he heard from Miss Bennet.

"You and Richard seem to be such good friends. That is wonderful. Goodness knows that the cousin nearest my age from my family is what one might call a "toad" (if you do forgive my language). I cannot imagine spending more time with him than I must in order to see my best friend. I consider you two men lucky to have each other. I hope nothing ever comes between that bond you have."

Elizabeth had laughter in her voice as she spoke of Mr. Collins but when she spoke of the bond between Richard and Darcy she became serious. She ended by placing her hand lightly on Mr. Darcy's. This sudden physical contact, no matter how slight, had an effect on Darcy. His heart was beating tremendously as he lifted his eyes to meet Lizzy's for the first time since he had arrived. She had such sincerity in her eyes; he knew she was concerned about their past and how it would affect their future. Darcy wanted to reassure her and let her know of his resolve. Her warm hand almost burned as it rested on his. He opened his mouth to reply.

"Miss Bennet I assure you that you have no need to worry about...."

In mid-sentence the door to the library was flung open and in came Mr. Bingley, the Colonel and Georgiana. Bingley was obviously giving the young lady a short tour of his home. Bingley was in mid-sentence when they all realized the presence of Elizabeth and Darcy in the same room.

At the sound of the door opening Elizabeth retrieved her hand from Darcy's. Her heart was beating fast, her head light from the serious topic that was being discussed and the sincerity and hurt she had seen in Mr. Darcy's eyes. Yet she had a twinge of guilt. As if she was being unfaithful to Richard from merely a touch of Mr. Darcy's hand. She tried to shake the feeling off.

As Elizabeth stood and turned to face the party of three she heard Mr. Darcy whisper urgently "We shall speak of this later. It needs to be dealt with." These words struck Elizabeth to the core but she covered her feelings with smiles for her new friend Georgiana and an affectionate hello to her fiancé.

Darcy also stood and faced the group. They all had a slight look of surprise at finding these two together, alone, in a close serious conversation but Richard relieved the curiosity hovering in the air.

"Oh Elizabeth, it is good to see that you and Darce are getting used to the idea of being cousins! It warms my heart to see it. Let us try to have dinner now. We shall have time for talking later! "

He took Elizabeth's arm and lead her out of the library. Elizabeth could only smile at Richard's good heart. Darcy on the other hand felt a pang of guilt at the love he still held for Elizabeth and a stab of jealousy that Elizabeth was to be his cousin and not his wife.

Chapter 8

Elizabeth and Darcy had no time alone together during these two weeks in which to finish their discussion. Both were feeling quite hesitant about this important interview and both shrunk from initiating it. Thus they acted in cordiality and friendliness. Elizabeth was coming to enjoy the company of Mr. Darcy almost as much as she enjoyed the company of her new dear friend Georgiana. When he was open, friendly and witty she could think of no better company.

Georgiana was not looking forward to departing from her friend, even for a few days. Elizabeth was to come to Derbyshire a week after the Darcys and Colonel Fitzwilliam had returned there. It was necessary that she meet Richard's family, her future in-laws. Georgiana had insisted that during her stay in Derbyshire that Elizabeth would stay at Pemberley. Darcy hesitated at this request at first but soon gave in to his sister. If he had been able to restrain himself at Netherfield and Longbourn, he should be able to be even more comfortable in his own home.

Before he knew it, Darcy was home preparing for the arrival of his unrequited love, Miss Elizabeth Bennet. Fitz was over, waiting impatiently for his fiancé.

"Oh Darce, I have missed her. She is lovely, and sweet, and such good company. I cannot explain man, she smells so intoxicating! I long to feel her in my arms again. Oh you must think me such a fool in love to be saying and thinking such things. You will understand one day my friend. I know you will." Fitz said all of this with a smile and excitement tinting his words. But of course these words still pained Darcy.

He was fully aware of the fragrance Miss Bennet carried with her. It haunted him in his dreams. He felt that he understood longing more than any man ever could but he was teaching himself well on how to act around Elizabeth, how to speak, how to look at her and how to be near her. He was learning well that he needed to just enjoy her as Elizabeth, the fun, light-hearted, witty woman that she was. He was learning well how to push thoughts of romantic love and physical love far into the back of his mind. Thoughts he only let escape in his subconscious and in his dreams.

Darcy approached the nervous and excited man. Darcy put his hand on Fitz's shoulder. "She will be here soon enough, my good man. She will be just fine I am sure."

"Oh Darcy, you are a good friend. Thank you for everything you do for me. I do have a question to ask you. I was wondering if you would mind being my best man? The wedding is in two months, which should give you enough time to prepare. Would you do this for me and Elizabeth?"

Darcy was grateful that Richard had thought of him. He was feeling so sure of his control that there seemed no doubt in his mind to his answer.

"Of course, of course, why would I ever say no?! I will be there for your wedding if it was this week or in ten years. I am honored. Thank you Richard." Darcy took Richard's hand and shook it meaningfully. Georgiana rushed in.

"I think she is here. There is a carriage coming up the road, it must be her."

Georgiana, in her youth, flew out of the hall and to the front steps of her grand home. The carriage met her as the men walked more composed toward the approaching carriage. Yet as the horses came to a halt it became clear that it was not a carriage that carried the lovely Miss Elizabeth, it was just the mail. The small man that had been guiding the horses jumped down.

"I have an express here for a Colonel Fitzwilliam."

"I am Colonel Fitzwilliam but why is my mail coming here?"

" It was to be delivered to your home, sir, but I was sent here. I could not leave it in any hands but yours."The small man covered in dust from the road handed the letter to Richard and bowed.

"I will be on my way now."

Richard turned the letter over in his hands and saw the seal he had been afraid of. He did not want to open this here, it could only be bad news.

"Well what is it Richard? What could be so important?" Georgiana innocently wondered.

"I, well, I think I will open this inside. Darcy may I use your study?"

"Of course Fitz, you are always welcome to any part of my house. Is there anything I can do to help?"

Richard nodded slowly. "Yes, you can come with me Darcy. I will need your advice. Georgiana would you mind waiting for Elizabeth. When she comes will you have someone inform Darcy and I in the study?"

Georgiana seemed confused but agreed. Darcy and the Colonel headed over to the study. Once within the safety of the walls Richard collapsed into a chair.

"I cannot read it Darcy, I can't. I know what it is and I don't want to go. You must do it for me." Richard held the letter out to Darcy, covering his face with his other hand. Darcy took it in his hands.

"Alright Richard. I will read it for you." Silently Darcy perused the letter.

May 25, 1815

Colonel Fitzwilliam-

I regret to inform you that your time of leave is to be shortened. Your services are required immediately. We are to sail from England in two weeks. You are to report in London on June 12. This matter is most urgent. You will be briefed when you arrive.

Sincerely-

Colonel Vines

Darcy completed the letter and looked at Richard. Richard had his head down, waiting to hear his fate.

Without lifting his head he asked "So how long do I have? A week right, or maybe two. I hate it when they do this! Elizabeth was just coming today. I shall have no time with her and we will have to put off the wedding. What am I going to do?"

Darcy stepped forward and put his hand on his friend's lowered head.

"Richard, you do not have two weeks or even one. The letter is late. You are to be in London in two days. I am sorry."

Richard lifted his head, his eyes filled with confusion and anger.

"Let me see that letter!" He snatched the letter from Darcy and read through it furiously.

"No, no, no, no, no, NO! This is not how it was supposed to be. Oh what am I going to do. I cannot get married in two days. I will have to send Elizabeth home and see if she will be willing to wait for me. Oh I don't know if she will, who knows how long I could be gone. A few months to a year I am sure of it. Darcy what am I to DO?"

He looked to his friend with pleading eyes.

"Richard" Darcy said softly as he knelt to the floor putting himself eye level to the distraught man. "Richard, it will work out. Elizabeth is a good woman; she will not desert you because you have been commanded into service again. She does not have to go back to Longbourn. She can stay here with Georgiana. Georgiana needs a companion, a woman that is worth to teach her how to be a lady. Without a mother around she needs a strong female influence. I think Elizabeth would be good for her. You should have no worries. We can ask her what she wants but I am sure of her understanding and support."

Richard let himself relax a little. "You would do that Darcy? And you think she will wait? This does give me more hope. You are right, she is a rational woman, I am sure she will understand."

Darcy nodded as a knock was heard at the door. The butler stepped in.

"Sir, Miss Bennet is here and is requesting your company. Should I show her in?"

"Yes, show both Miss Bennet and Miss Darcy in if you would" Then looking at Richard with a smile, "we will settle this now so we can have a peaceful evening."

Chapter 9

"Richard, what is going on? Is there a problem?" Elizabeth looked deeply in Richard's eyes searching for an answer.

"Please my dear, sit down. I have some news to tell you." Richard gestured to the closest chair, Elizabeth sat and looked intently at Richard. He knelt to the floor in front of her and took both of her hands in his.

"My dear, sweet Elizabeth. I have just received a letter, an order actually. I am being called back into service. I must report to London in two days. I know this is a shock but I must be honest with you. I don't know how long I will be gone. It could be only weeks, it could be months or it could be up to a year. I will understand if you do not want to wait that long for me, I do not want to leave you here feeling that you are obligated to wait so long. I just need to know your decision before I leave."

Elizabeth was feeling very self-conscious. She did not understand why Darcy and Georgiana were in the room still. She did not know what to say. Though Mr. Darcy and his sister were whispering at Mr. Darcy's desk, she did not want to say the wrong thing. She took a deep, fortifying breath.

"Richard, I said I would marry you and I will. I would be a very weak woman if I could not wait a year for my fiancé. I will send you off with that reassurance. I know I will miss you but letters will keep us in touch."

A bright smile came over Richard's face. He lunged forward to kiss her tenderly. Elizabeth blushed profusely but not just from the affects of the kiss. She saw the eyes of Mr. Darcy flash over to her and Richard following their kiss. She knew she should not care but for some reason she did. Darcy was now her friend and she did not want to cause him any more pain. Quickly she tried to turn her thoughts back to the topic at hand.

"Richard, I will wait for you but I must request something of you before you go."

"What is it my dear? Anything I can do for you I will?"

"Will you arrange for my departure on the same day as yours. I do not know if it would be right for me to stay here when you were the whole reason I was invited in the first place."

Richard shook his head. "That is why I have Darcy and Georgiana here. Darcy, in his kind heart, has requested that you stay here, if you wish, as Georgiana's companion. It is your choice but I thought it might be one that you would enjoy. What do you think?"

Darcy and Georgiana waited for her response, both with hope rising in them but for different reasons. Elizabeth looked to them both.

"This is really what you would want? You would like me to be your companion? To stay here? Mr. Darcy, I do not wish to impose on you just because I am marrying your cousin. Please let me know honestly"

"No, Miss Bennet there would be no imposition. Georgiana enjoys being with you. You are a woman of class and education. I think you would be a wonderful companion for my sister. As for myself, I do not mind your company - most of the time..." Darcy added his handsome smile at the end of his lighthearted statement.

Elizabeth could not help but be affected. Georgiana wanted her to stay, Richard wished it and Mr. Darcy had praised her highly. He wanted her to shape the woman that his sister would become. How could she say know to such a proposal? She looked at the three faces of the people she was coming to love in so many different ways.

"Yes, Yes I will stay. BUT you must promise that if you tire of me you will wish me farewell without hesitation! Is it a deal?" Elizabeth put out her petite hand.

Darcy smiled as he encompassed her tiny hand in his " It is a deal. I am sure there will be no use for the stipulation in that deal. I don't think Georgiana and I will want to let you go when Fitz returns."

Elizabeth's heart fluttered at this statement. Suddenly his strong grasp was getting too intense to handle. She gently pulled her had away and returned to her spot by Richard. She knew after that handshake that her stay at Pemberley would be an interesting one.

Chapter 10

"Georgie, Miss Bennet, I thought that perhaps tomorrow I could take some time off from my business matters and we could take a walk around the grounds. Miss Bennet has never seen our garden or the river. Georgie, I thought you and I could attempt to brighten Miss Bennet's spirits by giving her a taste of the outdoors. What do you two ladies say to that?"

Georgiana was very excited, and glad to share the beauties and the history of her home with her new dear friend. Elizabeth was glad to get out of the house and into some fresh air. They decided to meet at 8am the next morning after breakfast, before it could get too hot and discourage them in their quest.

Elizabeth was the first one ready in the morning. She gazed at the faces in the portraits that lined the grand front hall. She searched their faces for likenesses to Georgina, Richard and Mr. Darcy. Soon Mr. Darcy and Georgiana met her. Mr. Darcy offered his arm to his sister and Miss Bennet. They both accepted as they headed off from the house.

It was a beautiful summer morning. The dew was just starting to dry off of the grass and the flowers. Elizabeth was enthralled by the beauty around her. No one had spoken a word since they had left the house. They were all entranced by the calm of the morning. The only noises to be heard were the birds singing in the trees and the crunch of the stone walk beneath their feet. The charming group was suddenly pulled off balance as Georgiana suddenly tripped on a stone in the path. Mr. Darcy reacted quickly to catch his falling sister, cushioning her fall. Elizabeth stumbled in the process but regained her balance without mishap. Darcy knelt next to his fallen sister. Deep concern clouded his face.

"Georgie are you ok? Do I need to carry you back to the house? What has happened?"

Georgiana let out a little giggle.

"Oh William I am fine. I just tripped on a rock. You saved me from injury but I do not think my slipper can say the same. I have broken the strap. I shall have to go back to the house, I cannot go on a long stroll in a broken shoe." Georgiana had made her way to her feet with Miss Bennet's assistance.

"Oh don't worry, Mr. Darcy and I will wait for you, you go change." Elizabeth smiled reassuringly.

"Oh, no, no, you two go on. After all, I have seen the tour before. If you wait too long the sun will become too hot and you will not be able to complete the tour. Go on without me. I don't mind." Georgiana took a few steps toward the house, proving herself unhurt.

Mr. Darcy hesitated and then spoke. "If that is what you want Georgie. Miss Bennet and I should be back by lunch. We will see you then. Though I hope you know we do not mind waiting for you."

Georgiana stopped walking and turned to face Darcy.

"William! I told you already, go on without me. I will see you at lunch." Georgiana stomped her damaged shoe for effect with a giggle rising in her throat.

"Mr. Darcy, I think we have no choice but to comply, we had better go on our walk before she throws her broken slipper at us!" Miss Bennet laughed and took Mr. Darcy's arm

"That is right William, you had better go, I have a slipper you know!"

Darcy smiled at his sister and her high spirits. He decided that it would be alright to leave her alone for the morning, after all , it was Miss Bennet that the walk was for in the first place. He raised his free hand to wave to his laughing sister.

"Alright Georgie, you had better get inside before this gets ugly. Miss Bennet and I should get on our walk before you get violent. We will see you at lunch."

"See you then. Have fun Elizabeth!" Georgiana waved and turned. Elizabeth waved back and turned toward her sole companion.

"Well it is just you and me Mr. Darcy. I think that this will be a very informative walk." Elizabeth looked up to the smirking man beside her, flashing him a coy smile.

"Why Miss Bennet what ever do you mean?" Could she be flirting with me? No this is just her friendly manner, I have seen her act the same way with Georgiana. We are to be friends and I must get that through my mind.

"Oh nothing, Mr. Darcy. I think I am to learn a lot about the history, form and style of the Darcy's throughout time. You seem to be a wealth of knowledge in this area, seeing that they are your family. Without Georgiana here to distract us from serious discussion of these topics, I am sure we will be able to talk more in depth."

It seemed to Mr. Darcy that Elizabeth was speaking in code. If she was not then she cared a great deal more about the history of his family than he could have ever suspected but the light smile she carried on her lips made him suspicious.

Soon the pair had been walking for nearly an hour and Elizabeth knew almost as much about the grounds of Pemberley as she did of her own home. She was getting warm and a little fatigued. The day promised to be warmer than she had first imagined. She spotted a bench, nicely settled under a grove of trees. She longed for a short rest.

"Mr. Darcy, I am a little worn. Would you mind taking a little break with me on the bench over by the trees?" She pointed toward the comely spot.

Mr. Darcy just nodded and guided her to the bench and let her sit. He stood awkwardly.

"Mr. Darcy, please do sit. I do not mind. You are to be my cousin, there is no impropriety in this action."

Mr. Darcy hesitated but without a word he sat next to Elizabeth on the small bench. They were almost too close for his comfort. He was doing better lately at controlling his emotions but being this close to her so suddenly was almost too much. Thankfully she started to talk.

"Mr. Darcy, I think this is as good of a time as any to finish our conversation that was so suddenly interrupted at Netherfield. If we are to live in the same house for an extended period of time, I do not wish there to be any form of enmity between us."

These words made Darcy's heart jump. He did not feel prepared to rehash all of those feelings again. His dam was getting so perfectly thick and tall that he did not want to let a hole to begin to form. He raised his hand to stop her.

"Miss Bennet, you need not speak further. I have reconciled myself and I am trying to improve myself. You have no need to feel any guilt toward the conversation that passed between us. I regret every word I said and I lay no blame in you for your response. Truly how could I have expected anything less? I asked myself that question everyday for a while but now I determined to be a good friend and cousin to you. Please do not pain me by asking for further forgiveness. It is not needed, you did no wrong."

Elizabeth was startled. She saw before her a man that she had thought so proud and pompous who was now claiming all blame and apologizing for his actions. The shock was almost too much but she quickly regained her composure.

"Mr. Darcy, that is too much. I need to hear that your have forgive me for my unkind words and baseless accusations. The words I said haunt me continuously. I need your forgiveness, I need the slate to be wiped clean so that we can grow in our friendship for each other." Elizabeth placed her hand on Darcy's shoulder, urging him to recognize her fault and grant her the forgiveness she desired.

Darcy turned to face Elizabeth. He slowly raised his own hand to secure hers. He grasped it gently and held it in his own. He cherished the sensation for a moment and then continued with what was racing through his mind.

"Miss Bennet, you are too good and too kind. Since you have been kind enough to offer words of forgiveness toward me, I will utter them to you. I do so reluctantly not because I harbor animosity toward you but because I feel you have not sinned toward me in any way but if it will ease your heart, I grant you forgiveness. I hope this is the last I hear of this issue." He squeezed her hand and released it with those final words.
Elizabeth was silenced. Her heart was more full of joy than she could have ever experienced. She could not contain it.

Grabbing both of Darcy's hands she proclaimed "Oh thank you Mr. Darcy. You do not know what you have done for me. Now that this has been settled we are to be the best of friends. I wish Richard to be amazed at the friendship we have developed when he returns. Oh please say you will be my dearest friend!"

Darcy was taken slightly aback by her out burst but nodded in agreement "Yes, the best, of course."

Elizabeth squeezed his hands with intensity, thousands of thoughts visibly passing through her mind.

"It is settled. One more matter we must address. Just as I could not stand Georgiana calling me 'Miss Bennet' I cannot stand it from you either. You must call me Elizabeth, or Lizzy or anything you like as long as it is not the formal 'Miss Bennet'."

Then feigning seriousness she asked mischievously "Do you comply to my request Mr. Darcy?"

Darcy laughed deeply at Elizabeth's eruption. He was enjoying it greatly. He felt closer to her at this moment than he had ever felt before. He knew he would regret it in the future but he let himself enjoy the touch of her hands and the sparkle in her eye. He had never inspired such emotion in her before. He let himself react unrestricted.

"Well Miss.. I mean Elizabeth (this might be difficult to remember at first so I beg that you be kind) if I am to call you by such an informal name, you must do the same for me. It would not do to have me calling you Lizzy and you calling me 'Mr. Darcy' now would it? It would be as if you were a child or a servant and I will not have that. You should call me William, I would truly enjoy it if you would."

Looking up at Mr. Darcy seriously she nodded in agreement. "Well William I agree. I will call you by your given name as you call me by mine. This is a pact that cannot be broken. Let us shake on it."

At this Elizabeth released William's hands and placed hers forward to him. William took her small soft hand in his. Elizabeth noticed how his hand encompassed hers. With intensity in his eyes William raised her hand to his lips and kissed it gently.

He held it with both of his hands and said tenderly "There, now it is sealed with a kiss."Reluctantly he released her hand and stood with a sigh.

"Well my new dear friend if you are feeling revived we should be on our way. Take my arm, my dear Elizabeth, and I will finish my boorish narrative on the history of my family."

Elizabeth rose to her feet, her heart feeling full, and linked her arm with William's.

"Well William let us be off!"

The two sauntered off on the path, arm in arm, laughing and joking like they had never felt possible. Elizabeth looked at William briefly out of the corner of her eye. His face was calm and friendly. She knew this was a new beginning for them and that things would never be the same.

Chapter 11

Posted On: Friday, 23 August 2002, at 3:10 p.m.

The next week was filled with enjoyment for the little Pemberley clan. William had never seen Georgiana so full of life and happiness and Georgiana had never seen her brother so content and jovial. Elizabeth was enjoying every minute of it, though at times she felt guilty that she was having such a glorious time while Richard was away. She soon overcame these feelings by corresponding with him regularly and keeping herself busy.

After their first week of fun, Darcy knew it was time for him to get back to some semblance of work. He would set aside a few hours during the day where he would retire to his study and the ladies would be on their own. It was difficult for Darcy to willingly leave the two women he was closest to but he must put the priorities of his estate first.

On that Wednesday Darcy decided to visit his tenants. This was a weekly duty that he had learned from his father and mother. When ever they were home the family would spend one morning in the week visiting the surrounding homes, assessing needs and extending kindness. Georgiana usually went with him on these trips but he had decided to excuse her so that she could be with Elizabeth. They were getting along so well, he did not wish to leave Elizabeth in the house alone while they went on their rounds.

Darcy grabbed his coat and hat and headed for the front door. He had asked for his horse to be waiting for him. As he walked out the door, instead of a horse he saw his carriage and his two favorite women sitting in it. He was surprised and confused though fairly entertained.

"Well my ladies, where are you off to today? Did you mean to escape while I was absent? I am hurt to say the least" He jested with a smile touching his lips.

Georgiana replied in all seriousness "OH no William, we were not. Actually- please do not be upset with us- but we were wishing to accompany you on your visits. I was going to tell you but Elizabeth wanted to surprise you with the carriage. Do you mind much brother?"

William tried to feign anger "Why Miss Bennet! You went behind my back and ordered the carriage- this is .... Most ... wonderful! I love the idea. I am glad to have two lovely women accompany me, what man in his right mind could say no. Let us be off."

With that said Darcy jumped into the carriage and ordered the driver on. The air was warm but pleasant. Their surroundings were full of life, birds in the trees, squirrels running about. It could be deemed a most perfect day.

Elizabeth kept her eyes on the scene around her. Letting the beauty of the day soak in. Darcy was trying to do the same, resisting the urge to linger on the face of Elizabeth. He meditated within himself at his predicament.

"I have done well this past week. I have enjoyed being with her and Georgiana but I have kept myself strong. At this point I cannot imagine loosing her as the friend she has become; I would not do anything to risk that, no matter how much I want to. She is lovely in form and in face, but more than anything it is the spirit within her that I want and she is slowly letting me feel it. I must think that it is better than lust, it is better than that physical satisfaction, it is truly her. When I remind myself of that, I am content."

At the end of this thought he realized the carriage had stopped. Jumping down he helped Georgiana down, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze and then turned to help Elizabeth. Her eyes sparkled as she stepped gracefully to the ground, holding Darcy's hand and this time giving him the squeeze of assurance. Darcy could not help but smile. He reluctantly let go of her gloved hand and made his way to the door of the humble abode before him. He briefed Elizabeth on its inhabitance as he walked.

"This is the home of Mr. John Walus, he is elderly and does not hear well. We shall see if he comes to the door, he might not even notice we are here."

Before Mr. Darcy could even raise his hand to knock the door opened. A short old man with white balding hair stood in the door. He looked frail but then he spoke.

"I saw ye Mr. Darcy driving up. We have missed ye around here. I see your lovely sister is with you but who is the lovely young lady? Is she the woman we have all been hearing about? People are saying you are going to be the new mistress of Pemberley, is they right, uh.. Miss?"

Mr. Darcy began to speak but Elizabeth waved him quite. Elizabeth spoke loudly.

"Why no sir, my name is Elizabeth Bennet. I am to join the Darcy family but not as the mistress of Pemberley. I am to be a cousin. I am engaged to Colonel Fitzwilliam. He has been called to duty and I am staying here with my cousins to be as Georgiana's companion."

The old man was silent for a moment and looked at Elizabeth quizzically.

"Well missy that is great for ye but sad for me. I was hoping that such a young, pretty thing could visit me more often but I guess the Colonel will get that honor."

Elizabeth smiled gently "Mr. Walus, that is so very flattering. I can assure you that I will make it a point to visit you every week during my time here. If you get tired of my visits, you let me know but I think I should enjoy it very much!"

Mr. Walus blushed and smiled."Well you little miss you just made an old man blush. I would love ye's company whenever ye would wish. Thank ye, Thank ye."

Walus bowed over and over, smiling at the young woman that had already stolen his old man's heart. Darcy was impressed with the ease at which Elizabeth spoke with the man. He was old, crass at times and not very clean but he could see gentleness in her eyes as she spoke. He knew that many ladies would not even condescend to come near a person such a Mr. Walus, certainly Caroline would not. As Walus completed his tirade of gratitude Darcy excused themselves and they continued onto the other houses.

Elizabeth made an impression at each home with her gentle, natural manner. She promised many more visits to many more homes. Darcy could tell she was not just being polite, she was happy about the chance to visit and help these individuals.

The last home they approached was that of the parish. Elizabeth had seen the young man that occupied this house the two Sundays before. She had been impressed with his vibrancy and articulation. She was sure he was to be nothing like her cousin. As they approached in their carriage, a young man of about twenty three excited the house wearing a dark suit and hat that suited those in the order. He stood on the stone steps that lead to his home. As the carriage came to a halt he rushed forward, not allowing time for the company to descend from their seats. Approaching the carriage he bowed low.

"Mr. Darcy, what a pleasure to see you again! You too Miss Darcy!" The young man paused not wanting to break propriety and introduce himself to the lovely woman accompanying them without being addressed first. Darcy understood this formality and took the initiative.

"Mr. Joseph Mitchell, this is our dear friend Miss Elizabeth Bennet. I am sure you have seen her on Sundays. She is Georgiana's companion and will be staying with us for a while." Then looking at Elizabeth, Darcy continued "Elizabeth this is Mr. Mitchell, the pastor of our parish."

Elizabeth eyed the attractive man quickly and extended her hand with all the confidence that defines her. "Mr. Mitchell, how wonderful to meet you! I have truly enjoyed your sermons each Sunday and have longed to speak with you. My cousin is also a clergyman but has never had the skill that you do."

Mr. Mitchell accepted her hand briefly and bowed his head, disguising a small blush. He had noticed the lovely woman sitting with the Darcy's for the past few Sunday's but had never had the courage to approach them personally. When he saw that she was accompanying the family on their rounds he knew it was his chance to discover who this mysterious woman was. Now he had his chance.

"Miss Bennet, you are too kind. I am just glad that my words can be of some use. If you ever wish to discuss my sermons or if you have any questions please feel free to ask. It is part of my job, after all."

Elizabeth laughed lightly. The confident man that stood at the pulpit each Sunday had disappeared and a shy young man had emerged.

"Mr. Mitchell, I will be visiting many in your parish each week, including Mr. Walus as well as Mrs. Ferrule and all of her children. I may add your home to my list of visits to make if you would like?"

"I would enjoy that very much Miss Bennet." He looked at her with a look of surprise and smiled. Then looking at Darcy "Mr. Darcy I am sorry to have kept you. I just came out to tell you that you need not stop at my home today. I understand you are busy, I will speak to you again in the next few days Mr. Darcy. Thank you for the visit. It was nice to see you again Mr. Darcy, Miss Darcy, and it was a pleasure to meet you Miss Bennet. I look forward to your visits." Mr. Mitchell put weight on his final words toward Miss Bennet. He bowed once again and stepped back from the carriage.

Darcy spoke abruptly "Goodbye Mr. Mitchell. We will see you on Sunday." With these words Darcy ordered the carriage on.

This little discussion between Elizabeth and Mr. Mitchell had bothered Darcy. He could see the effect that Elizabeth had on the young, dewy-eyed man. He did not like it. He also did not like the idea of Elizabeth meeting with this man every week. The thought of another man's eyes following her, another man's heart wanting her. He could not stand it. But as the carriage drove away and Elizabeth talked of the people she had met that day, Darcy realized he had no right to have these protective feelings for Elizabeth. Darcy was also another man looking on Elizabeth with longing. She was not his, even though it was easy to pretend she was.

"William, William, where are you William? Come back to us." Elizabeth patted his knee lightly. "You have not spoken a word since we left Mr. Mitchell. What are you thinking of?" Elizabeth inquired gently.

Darcy shook his head and forced a smile "Oh nothing Elizabeth, I was just pondering what my tenants might be in need of." He lied. " I often try to do that after our meetings are fresh in my mind."

He could not look her in the eye. He was feeling strangely toward her. He did not like the feeling of anger rising in his chest. He wanted to order her to not see Mr. Mitchell ever again. He wanted to tell her that she was his, but he just did not look at her. That was his solution to the problem, to just not look at her. It was working for now.

"Oh well I am very interested in this topic. I have quite a few ideas for your tenants...."

Georgiana's heart about stopped. This was not a good topic to discuss with William. She knew that he was very sensitive to any advice and usually took it as criticism to his present services and sometimes as a personal insult. As a result he usually kept all the decision making to himself. Georgiana put her hand on Elizabeth's, giving her a gentle squeeze hoping she would get the message but Elizabeth just babbled on about her ideas for improving Pemberley for its tenants.

Meanwhile Darcy's eyes darted to Elizabeth's face, the object he had been avoiding. He did admit that he was sensitive on the topic of his tenants, he had never shared decisions with anyone, not even Georgiana and at this moment he did not feel like sharing them with Elizabeth. He spoke with sharpness and cut Elizabeth off.

"Miss Bennet, I appreciate your care for these people but I do believe that I am more aware of their needs than you can be after one day of friendly visits. Just because you have made friends with these people that does not mean you know them. Perhaps this method of meddling is something your mother taught you but it will not be endured here!" He snapped these words and then looked away, trying to abate the burning inside of him.

Darcy's reaction hit a bitter chord inside Elizabeth. She could not hold back her painful rebuke.

"William, how could you be so uncaring and cruel!" Tears gathered in her eyes as she looked into his eyes. " I thought that we had decided to be friends and I was just trying to be a good one to you. I am sorry if I have offended you but I can see nothing wrong in my statements or my actions today. Whatever I have done, we can discuss it civilly but please do not say things that you might regret in the future. We all know what can come of that William." Elizabeth looked deep into Darcy's eyes as she said these last words. She wanted to hurt him a little, just like he had hurt her. Calling her Miss Bennet, and insulting her in front of Georgiana, it hurt her more than she understood. She turned her head away and encompassed herself in silence.

Georgiana was confused. She did not understand what had caused William's personal attack on Elizabeth. She knew that he did not like interference in his duties but she did not expect his formal, bitter retort. Then Elizabeth responding with such emotion and pain, it was uncharacteristic of them both. She knew better than to get involved so she waited for their responses.

Elizabeth's heart felt words struck Darcy deeply. He had not meant what he had said. He wanted to make her hurt like he was hurting. The pain she cause him by her very presence, by seeing her with other men, by thinking of his future without her. He was trying to push her away but now he only wanted to pull the crying woman closer to him. He knew he must apologize. He leaned forward, aware that whatever he said would be in the presence of Georgiana.

"Elizabeth" he took her limp hand in his, she was still looking away. "Elizabeth, please look at me." Elizabeth slowly turned her tear stained face to him. The pain in her eyes was obvious.

"Elizabeth, I ... I am so sorry. You are right, I am wrong. I don't know why I said those things. I don't want anything to come between our friendship, especially something so minute. It pains me to give you pain. Please, I would love your assistance in some of my business matters, if you are still interested. You have a good mind and a kind heart that would help me in many ways I cannot help myself." Squeezing her hand tighter he inched forward till their knees touched. With his free hand he wiped the tears that poured down her face. She let him caress her face, enjoying the comfort it was giving her. "Please Elizabeth, say you will forgive me."

At his touch Elizabeth shivered. She knew she was being stubborn. She knew she should just drop it and accept his offer. He was apologizing to her, he was sorry, he wanted to be her friend still. These thoughts warmed her heart. A small smile brushed her lips. As she reached up to grasp the gentle hand touching her cheek she spoke.

"Well William, I am torn. In one way I think I should make you feel bad for what you have done, I should be evil and torture you with silence, that would be the womanly way but I have chosen the other path. I have decided that I could not stand it. Though I may not be the best example to your sister in this area of womanhood I accept your offer. Lets not fight again. This was not fun."

Relief washed over Darcy. He squeezed her hands and returned to his seat revived. Georgiana was stunned at the sight that had just passed in front of her. It was as if her brother was...no it could not be possible. Could it be that her brother was in love with Elizabeth? Georgiana searched William's face. He was smiling, watching the passing scene. Georgiana decided that she would have to take this idea seriously, and watch her brother very closely. William in love with Elizabeth? It could be a dream come true or a nightmare waiting to happen.

Chapter 12

Over the next few weeks Georgiana kept a watchful eye on her brother and Elizabeth. After their argument in the carriage they did not fight seriously again. In fact they became closer than ever. Almost everyday all three of them ended up in the drawing room or in Darcy's study. Georgiana often found herself working on embroidery or reading a book while spying on her brother and best friend at the same time. Elizabeth and William would sit together for hours discussing estate business, planning together, and just enjoying each other's company in general. After several weeks of spying and embroidering Georgiana came to two realizations. Fitzwilliam Darcy was most defiantly in love with Miss Elizabeth Bennet. This became so incredibly clear in every look he gave her and word he spoke. Georgiana wondered how the thoroughly observant Elizabeth could miss this. Her second discovery was that if Elizabeth shared the same feelings of love for Darcy, she was not aware of it yet herself. Yet deep down Georgiana felt that she detected more than just cousinly affection between Elizabeth and Darcy.

Georgiana was amazed with what ease Elizabeth took on a pseudo position of running the household. Of course she had Georgiana involved in everything. They were learning together about handling such an estate but Elizabeth's open and kind manner made her a natural. She planned meals with ease and dealt with household matters with such delicacy that the staff had become to love her as well.

After working at Pemberley with Georgiana for two and a half months Elizabeth declared that she felt it was time for Georgiana to have the experience of holding a small private party to exercise her new found skills. Darcy agreed, as he almost always seemed to agree with Elizabeth. So Georgiana and Elizabeth went about preparing for a small party at Pemberley.

First they made out their guest list. The Fitzwilliams of course, a few close family friends and Elizabeth added Mr. Mitchell to the list. He had not yet been invited to Pemberley and Elizabeth felt it was about time that the timid young man should have the company of others besides her and his parishioners.

The night of the party was set, the invitations sent out and the menu planed. As the evening approached Elizabeth and Georgiana sat together preparing for the arrival of their guests. Georgiana wore a delicate blue gown that complemented her light complexion and blue eyes. Elizabeth wore a gauzy white gown that simmered when exposed to the light. It had been a gift from Georgiana and Elizabeth could not think of a better time to wear it. Both ladies looked stunning as they descended the stairs to await their guests arrival.

Darcy was of course prepared for a lovely sight. He had gotten used to seeing the lovely Elizabeth looking beautiful whenever he saw her. When he saw her and his sister the all too familiar feelings of longing and love surged inside of him again. He stepped forward taking his sister's hand first and kissing it.

"Georgiana, you look so lovely. I am glad that this is to be a small familiar gathering or else I may have reason to worry about you. You look lovely my dear sister."

With these words Georgiana blushed and smiled. Darcy then turned his attentions to Elizabeth. He took her bare hand in his and looked up at her on the stair.

" Elizabeth, you too look beautiful tonight. You look like.... like royalty."

He raised her warm hand to his lips and kissed it gently. He enjoyed the warmth of her skin and the sweet smell she carried with her. After taking all of this in and committing it to memory, he forced himself to rise, letting go of her hand. Yet as he released his grip hers became stronger. She held him in front of her, one hand grasped in hers, smiling mischievously.

The brief kiss he had given her had a strange effect on her senses. It was so tender and kind, she wanted to return the gesture. She looked him in the eye and spoke.

"William, you look quite handsome as well. You look quite like a knight I would say. So I feel it only proper that as a lady of nobility" she curtsied slightly "I should give my knight a kiss as well."

Before William could think or say anything Elizabeth had released his hand and taken his face in her hands. She bent down from her elevated perch on the step and placed a tender kiss on William's cheek. As her lips pressed against his skin William closed his eyes and could feel his pulse quicken. He hoped that she could not sense this. He wanted this sensation to last forever but he also had the panicky desire to pull away and run as fast as he could. He was so torn. Yet the blissful torture soon ended. Though he had felt the kiss to be an eternity it had been but a few seconds. When Elizabeth finally pulled her face away she lightly patted his cheek and smiled brilliantly.

"There you go Knight Darcy. We are even. Now if you would escort your fair ladies into the parlor we would be most grateful."

Without saying a word Darcy nodded and offered each of his arms to the fair ladies by his side. All three were silent, each thinking of the same occurrence that had just passed. He was frustrated that Elizabeth could be so unaware of the pain she put him through when she did things such as that. Needless to say Darcy was thrilled with Elizabeth's kiss but disappointed in the result. He had thought that just maybe she had felt something inside of her, something like he felt. Yet when she released him she had been so light and jovial that those hopes, no matter how dishonorable, had been shattered.

Elizabeth was also recovering from their intimate moment. She had disliked how his kiss had affected her and had wanted to gain revenge but it had had a different effect. His musky smell and soft cheek had been more enticing that she had thought it could be. But what was the worst of all was the look that she thought she saw flash in Darcy's eye as she pulled away from him. Was it love? Was it caring or just friendship? What disturbed her most was not the specific look he gave her but that she actually took enjoyment from it. She hoped for his friendship, his caring and then it struck her, she took enjoyment from his attentions. She felt horrified. How could she, an engaged woman take enjoyment from the attentions of another man, her future cousin and a man that had once professed love for her?

Suddenly her actions from the past few months flashed before her. Had she been unkind to William by treating him in such a familiar manner? Was this a painful thing for him? Elizabeth realized that she was so caught up in her own life and feelings that she had not taken any heed of Mr. Darcy's. She made a mental resolution; she would sit down seriously with William and sort out all these problems. The last thing she wanted to do was to give him pain while she gained enjoyment out of the relationship between them. It would be another awkward conversation but one that needed to be had.

Georgiana on the other hand just smiled. The scene that had just passed had confirmed her prior suspicions about her brother and reveled more on Miss Bennet's feelings as well. Georgiana was not dim witted, though she would have loved for Elizabeth and William to be in love and married she did realize that there were many that would be very upset by this arrangement. Her dear cousin would be devastated and the Fitzwilliam's offended. She knew this a very unlikely outcome for her brother but enjoyed the dreaming and thoughts there of.

Soon the handsome group reached the entryway and broke their threesome. Elizabeth attempted some discussion to break the silence.

"Well Georgiana, I think that tonight shall be a success. Just be yourself and things will go fine"

Georgiana smiled at her dear friend and squeezed her hand " I could not have done it without you my dear Elizabeth."

Elizabeth smiled and was about to speak as their guests started to arrive. The Fitzwilliams arrived first, cheerful and talkative. The rest of their guests arrived one by one. Finally it looked about time for the hosts to retire to the drawing room with their guests when a final guest arrived.

Mr. Mitchell walked confidently through the door. He was dressed in a gentlemanly manner, so very different from his usual dark uniform. His eyes immediately searched for Elizabeth. Elizabeth turned and smiled at the young, jittery man. He bowed at Mr. Darcy and turned to the ladies.

" Miss Darcy, Miss Bennet, it is wonderful to see you lovely ladies both this evening. I have to say that you both look stunning." Though these words were addressed to both parties Mr. Mitchell's eyes lingered on the shimmering Miss Bennet. Elizabeth did not seem to notice his decided preference to her and simply thanked Mr. Mitchell. Mitchell offered his arm as Elizabeth showed him into the drawing room.

Darcy took Georgiana's arm and stormily followed them. He was very annoyed at the obvious attention that this man was giving to Elizabeth. It galled him that she seemed completely unaware. Could it be possible she had no idea this man fancied her? Darcy's mind flashed back to Rosings. He had thought that she must be aware of his attentions during those torturous weeks at Rosings yet she had been completely ignorant of them. He knew that Elizabeth noticed to little for her own good but Darcy dared not do anything about it.

Chapter 13

As the party progressed the company became more friendly and talkative. Dinner was fantastic and the guests raved at the menu. Georgiana quietly thanked them for their praise.

Darcy did not enjoy dinner and ate little yet it was not the food that displeased him. It was his full view of the ogling Mr. Mitchell. The man had not taken his eyes off of Elizabeth the whole time they were at the table. The more wine he drank the more obvious his adoration for her became. It was becoming quite an awkward situation. Darcy was glad when dinner was finally over. The men went into Darcy's study and the women to the drawing room. Darcy made a point to stay away from the inebriated Mr. Mitchell as he downed another beverage.

When the men finally joined the women back in the drawing room Darcy sat alone on a large couch in the corner. Elizabeth was engrossed in a conversation with Lady Fitzwilliam and Georgiana on wedding plans and other womanly things. Darcy made no qualms about watching the group silently. After only a few minutes of undisturbed observation Darcy noticed someone take the seat next to him. He turned to his guest only to see the annoying Mr. Mitchell, once again watching Elizabeth. Darcy wished he could pull Mitchell's eyes out for punishment but he knew the night would be over soon and he would go about the business of finding another pastor for his parish. As Darcy was lost in his thoughts Mitchell spoke in a low wavering voice, without taking his eyes off of Elizabeth.

"Mr. Darcy, I have to tell you that I find Miss Bennet to be one of the loveliest women I have ever had the pleasure to lay my eyes on. I mean she is so sweet and beautiful. Her face, her eyes her figure... they are simply enticing. Sir I truly envy your cousin as he is to be her husband and I envy you for being with her so often. My heart aches when I see her but it is broken when I do not."

This is not the type of conversation Darcy wished to have. His blood was boiling at this improper attention this man was giving his Elizabeth. Between clenched teeth he responded.

"Mr. Mitchell, I fear you have forgotten who you are speaking to I ask you to check your words."

Mitchell was oblivious to the meaning behind this remark and continued on his tirade.

" Oh no, I realize you are Mr. Darcy and that you have the lovely Elizabeth Bennet under your roof continuously. I must ask you man, how do you do it. How do you resist her and her loveliness. She is so.... tempting. When she is in my home just once a week I crave to touch her, hold her, to be with her. I cannot imagine resisting if she was living and sleeping in my own home, no matter whose fiancé she might be..."

Mitchell was showing no sign of stopping his horrific rampage. By this point Darcy forgot all restraint he had ever had inside of him. He let those emotions he had dammed up flow out in his reaction to this man. Before Mitchell could finish his sentence Darcy had jumped to his feet, grabbed Mr. Mitchell in his strong hands, lifted him from his seat and shoved him against the wall.

With rage burning in his eyes he growled "So help me God if you ever, EVER touch her you will die by my hand, with so much pain, you cannot even fathom it. Do you understand me?" Then much louder "DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?"
Mr. Mitchell shrunk in the grasp of Darcy's hand. He lowered his head and whispered a submissive "yes". Darcy released him, and pushed him away.

" I hope this means I will never see you near my home again! I think it is time for you to leave."

Darcy grabbed Mitchell's arm and was forcefully leading him to the door. As he turned he saw the room of stunned faces staring back at him. Without saying a word he pushed his way out with the detained man, still fuming from his encounter.

Elizabeth had been startled when she saw Mr. Darcy's sudden movements in the corner with Mr. Mitchell. She did not hear a word he said until Darcy's booming voice filled the room with "DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?" As suddenly as it had begun it was over and recovering from her shock When Darcy and Mitchell exited the drawing room Elizabeth stood, made her excused and followed them into the main hall.

When Darcy saw her following he spoke forcefully, not even stopping "Elizabeth, do not come any further. You must go back, now. I insist." He continued on his path assuming she would listen to his demand but Elizabeth could not stand being told what to do and followed out of concern and spite.

Darcy turned swiftly and almost yelled "Elizabeth, go back to the room NOW. That is not a request."

These words struck Elizabeth hard , she rushed up and grabbed Darcy's free arm.

"Excuse me? I don't care if it was not a request. I am not leaving until I know what is going on. Anyway you have no right to tell me what to do. You are not my father or my husband so I will stay where I will."

Too preoccupied with the situation at hand with Mr. Mitchell Darcy pulled his arm away and continued walking.

" Follow if you will but I will not be disturbed and I will not explain my actions to anyone. After all Miss Bennet you are not my sister, my mother, and you are definitely not my wife." The last word he spit out at her with a look of pain in his eye. As they reached the front door Darcy grabbed the handle , opened the door swiftly and shoved Mr. Mitchell out.

" Mr. Mitchell I do not wish to see you ever again, goodbye." With that he went to close the door but Elizabeth caught the handle and forced herself between the door and Mr. Darcy. She spoke in a sugary sweet voice.

"Mr. Mitchell I am not aware what has happened this evening but perhaps you can enlighten me when I see you on Wednesday. Till then!" She waved, smiled and closed the door genteelly. When she turned to face Darcy she could see rage in his eyes. Perhaps mentioning visiting Mitchell was not a good idea but she had felt it should twist whatever knife that Darcy had lodged within himself. Yet as she looked at these fiery eyes she became frightened. He came forward and grabbed her wrists tightly but not violently and held her against the door. The intensity in his eyes told her to keep her mouth shut. Darcy soon spoke.

"Elizabeth, what are you thinking? You are never to see that man again, NEVER, do you hear me? Do not go out alone any more either, it is not safe. Please believe me and do not ask why."

Elizabeth pulled her hands away, rubbing her wrists. "You actually expect me to blindly say I will never see Mr. Mitchell again and that I cannot go out alone any more. This is silly William, please just tell me what is going on. I know you have never liked Mr. Mitchell and for the life of me I cannot understand why. He is a quite young man that would not hurt a fly. You embarrassed me, him and your sister in there. What I am going to tell all of these people? You will need to explain this to me William but I need to return to my guests so you will be spared will later."

With that she turned on her heel and walked back to the drawing room where she made the perfect excuses for both Mr. Mitchell and Mr. Darcy. Darcy did not return to the drawing room but went right to bed.

Once in his room Darcy slowly undressed and readied himself for bed. He reran the evening in his head. Had he over reacted? No that could not be, not after what Mitchell had said about Elizabeth, if it had been his sister he would have done the same. So what could be bothering him? He did not care what the silly visitors thought, or even his relatives but.... but he did care what Elizabeth thought. He hoped she would not leave. He settled into bed to nightmares of waking in the morning and finding Elizabeth gone.

Chapter 14

He was awakened from this dream by a noise in his room, it sounded like his door opening. Darcy's eyes flew open. After his confrontation tonight he felt he could not be too careful. He turned toward the door and saw a light entering. He sat upright in bed, squinting through the sudden light. He saw a white form approaching him, he rubbed his sleep filled eyes and finally focused. Before him was Elizabeth, dressed in her nightgown, barefoot, in his room. At first he thought he was still dreaming. He dreaded dreams like this one because they only made him love her more but when the figure saw he was awake she rushed forward and sat on the chair next to his bed.

" I am sorry to disturb your sleep but I could not sleep and I needed to talk to you. There is so much on my mind; I just need to speak with you. Please, will you speak with me?"

Elizabeth moved to the edge of her chair and took William's resting hand as if for strength. Darcy said nothing, still not sure what this random appearance was about. He looked into her worried face. He knew he should make her leave, he knew he should mention the impropriety of this meeting but he did not he just said simply "Ok Elizabeth, we can talk."

Elizabeth took a deep breath and tightened her grip on his hand. "William, what happened tonight with Mr. Mitchell? Why were you so ... angry? It was so frightening. I cannot imagine what he could have done to infuriate you so much. I mean, I know that I did not react in the best way possible but please tell me what is going on?"

Darcy knew it was time for him to make a choice. He could tell her the truth and lay himself out for more pain and loss or lie and spare himself. He weighed these possibilities and decided. He turned to his friend, sitting upright on the edge of the bed facing her. He took both of her hands in his and braced himself.

"Elizabeth, what I am going to tell you is very difficult for me and it might be painful to you as well. I tell you the truth because I respect you and care for you. I ask you to listen and wait till I have finished to respond."

Elizabeth nodded and squeezed his hands.

"Elizabeth, you know that you mean a lot to me and my family. Georgiana loves you, Richard adores you, my Aunt and Uncle are glad to make you their own, we are excited to have you be a part of our family. As you have spent time in this house I have come to respect you in ways I did not know I could respect a woman. I want you to know that it is because of my respect that I reacted tonight as I did. I now have two dangerous holes in the thick armor that I have worked long and hard to create. Georgiana is an obvious one. I love her so much and would do anything to protect her from harm, even give myself as a substitute. When Wickham tried to take her as his victim it was so difficult for me to keep my control. I wanted to harm him so much but I made it. She will always be that way to me. Now Elizabeth till a few months ago she was my only weakness but then my armor developed another hole."

Darcy paused significantly after this point. He looked at the hands he held in his. He gently rubbed her fingers. He slowly turned her palms up. He traced the lines on her hand gently and continued without looking up.

"I told my good friend Mr. Bingley I would come with him to his new estate Netherfield near the town of Longbourn. I expected it to be an uneventful, boring time in the country. Instead I discovered a .. a treasure. I found a woman that I could respect and .... Forgive me for saying this Elizabeth but a woman that I could love. When I discovered this I was lost. I knew that all I truly wanted to do was to be with this woman, to take care of her and to have her love me. I know that I did not do things correctly, we have discussed that and it is in the past but I will always love this woman... What I am trying to say is that..." He pressed his palms against hers meaningfully and looked in her eyes "... Elizabeth I will always love you."

Elizabeth was not surprised or angry at this admission. She had always known deep inside of her that William still cared for her. She did not allow her self to believe it because she knew if she did she would be in trouble of falling in love with him as well. But when she heard these words she held his hands tighter, nodded and did not speak. She just looked at William intently as she awaited his conclusion.

"So Elizabeth, I do not tell you this to ask you for your love in return. I have settled and understand that this is not an option. I will have to be happy taking care of you as you are married to my cousin, loving you as you are with him. But I can do that, I really can. But tonight Mr. Mitchell found the chink in my armor and he stabbed it so hard I reacted like an injured animal. Elizabeth you should have heard the words he spoke about you. They were so vile and lustful. As he spoke these words my shield dropped and I had no choice but to defend you. I don't want you visiting him because he is dangerous. He does not seem it but what he said about you tonight... I shudder to think of what would happen if he were to act upon those words. So I hope I have explained thing sufficiently to you. I understand if you wish to leave my house and never see me again. I deserve that for the way I treated you tonight and for the improper feelings I have just reviled but I ask you not to leave. Georgiana needs you, I will stay away from you both, I promise and I will never speak of this again. Please do not leave."

Elizabeth pulled her hands from the strong but pleading man. Her heart was being pulled in so many ways. She was filled with the guilt of what she had made her dear friend feel. His eyes were full of pain and pleading and she just wanted to make it all better.

"May I speak now William?"

"Yes of course"

"Well you have told me a lot and I now know that I owe you an apology. My actions tonight were childish and inappropriate. I do not want to leave William, please do not think that. As I have come to know you better over the past few months I have come to respect you too. I have never had a friend such as you and never has a man been so open and respectful toward myself and my opinions. I love being at Pemberley and to be honest I dread to leave it. Please do not hide away during my stay here that would be worse for me than being away. I enjoy being with you. I look forward to seeing your face every morning and our conversations throughout the day. The time we spend on visits and walking in the garden. I would miss all of these things, I truly would."

Elizabeth's eyes were brimming with shimmering tears. Her heart was in her eyes. Her goodness shone through them. William was awash with happiness. He had hoped that she had some care for him and now he knew she did. Even if she did not love him, she did care for him and that he could live with. He smiled and gently wiped a tear from her face. He left his hand on her cheek as he spoke.

"Oh sweet Lizzy, please do not cry. I want you to stay, I hope you will.. I am so glad that you are happy here you have no idea...."

"William" Elizabeth cut him off but smiled as she spoke. She leaned into his warm hand "You got to speak uninterrupted Mr. Darcy I believe I should have the same opportunity."

William smiled at her jest and nodded. Elizabeth took a deep breath and rose slightly placing herself next to him on the bed.

"I just have one last thing to say to you. I want to say thank you. Thank you for taking care of me, for watching out for me and most of all William, thank you for loving me like you do. I wish it were not so painful but I thank you for it."

Her eyes were locked on his and his on hers. She took his face in her hands and leaned forward. She kissed him gently on one cheek, the other and then lightly on his lips. William did not move. She released his face and put her head on his shoulder and raised her mouth to his ear. She softly brushed her lips against his ear and whispered gently "Thank you." After a moment of sitting in this manor she quietly stood to leave the room. She picked up her candle and paused at the door. "Good night William, I will see you in the morning." And with that she was gone.

William sunk back into his bed with a heart and mind that were torn. She cared for him, she kissed him, but she belonged to his cousin. He had never felt such bitterness toward one man in his whole life as he did towards he favorite cousin as he was falling asleep that night.

Part 15

Posted On: Tuesday, 12 November 2002, at 3:32 p.m.

Darcy's eyes fluttered awake as the sun warmed his face. He took a deep breath in and relished to comfort of his warm bed. He recalled what had seemed like a dream but he knew was reality.

"Last night! Elizabeth! The kiss, the kind words. It was all real!"

He smiled to himself when he heard the chime of the clock- it was already nine o'clock. William jumped to his feet.
"How could I have over slept?" He wondered. He wanted to see her again to reassure himself that what he had thought, what he could have imagined- was real.

Darcy quickly dressed himself and rushed down to the breakfast room. Pausing to calm his racing heart and breath before he opened the door. When he felt in control he swung the mighty doors open and strode in. He expected to see his sister and his Elizabeth sitting there, eating breakfast. He planned to make a quip about oversleeping or something to excuse his absences. But as he walked into the mighty room he saw no one but Georgiana sitting alone, slowly eating her poached egg.

"Georgiana, good morning my dear!" He briskly walked to her side and gave her a playful, brotherly kiss.

"William, there you are. I about starved myself waiting for you this morning. I am sorry I could not wait any longer for you to come down, I just had to eat breakfast without you."

"Oh my dear it is alright, there is no need to wait. I just had a long night dealing with some important business. It was good to get it finished. Why are you eating alone? Where is Elizabeth this morning?"

Georgiana smiled within. She was wondering when he would finally ask. She knew it must be killing him to know where she was that morning. Georgiana tried to act innocent as she replied.

"She skipped breakfast this morning" William frowned.

" I told her you would be upset with her but she was in a rush. She got an express letter from Richard this morning and I guess she needed some privacy to ready it."

William's heart sunk. So after all they had been through the night before she would run out at a moments notice to read a letter from Richard. Jealousy rose within William.

"Well would you like something to eat? I am sure the cook made enough for us all. Should I ring for the maid?"

William tried to swallow his anger and respond calmly to Georgiana. " No Georgie, it is alright. I was going to go for a ride this morning and I will just go now. I will have lunch with you ladies later today. Thank you for thinking of me as always." William forced a smile on his face, bowed slightly, turned on his heal and stomped out of his sister's presence.

Georgiana smiled openly, hoping that jealousy would be a strong enough incentive to stop the friendship charade with Elizabeth and do what needed to be done.

Part 16

William rode hard through the dark, chilly wood. He urged the horse faster feeling the sting of leaves against his face, and his heart racing faster. His mind had been in turmoil since he had spoken with Elizabeth. He knew that she had not made any overtures of love last night, only he had. He felt like a fool. Now he was running his poor beast ragged. He pulled on the horse's reigns slowing him to a light trot finally to a complete stop by a small stream going through the woods. The horse drank hungrily as William threw the refreshing water on his burning face over and over again and sat on the muddy ground. The horse was still drinking when William heard the rustling of leaves. He looked behind him toward the path he had just left and saw Elizabeth in a lavender gown walking absently down the path. William had no desire to disturb her walk. He was in no condition to pretend nothing had happened the night before and that he was just a friendly cousin. As Elizabeth was about to walk past the opening that lead to the stream William's horse snorted. Elizabeth's head snapped to the side where she spotted William, crouched by the river. She walked to the edge of the path.

"William, hello! Are you sitting in the mud? What would Georgiana say?" She gave him one of her winning smiles and continued. " Come, walk with me if you will. I am sure you recall that lovely bench that is nearby we could sit together there."

William arose silently and reluctantly. He was determined to not pretend everything was ok. He had to stop being a door mat, he needed to be a man. He led his horse from the water and they made their way up the slight slope to where Elizabeth stood.

"Alright Mr. Darcy let us be on our way!" Elizabeth walked on with William and his horse following behind.

William was surprised at the silence that the two shared during their short journey to the bench. Elizabeth seemed very distracted but William did not notice as he was still feeling quite hurt and jealous. Elizabeth was preoccupied herself and did not notice William's coldness.

When they finally reached their destination Elizabeth sat delicately on the iron bench that had been the scene of their original treaty. William tied his horse to a near by tree where he could graze and then sat on the opposite end of the bench. Elizabeth very naturally moved closer and put her head on Williams's strong shoulder. William was surprised at the tender gesture. He enjoyed having her near him and acting as though they belonged to each other. Having her so close weakened his resolve, perhaps he had reacted too soon to Elizabeth's need for privacy. William did not want to break the moment. He just sat and listened to Elizabeth's steady breathing, allowing his to imitate hers.

After what seemed like an hour but in actuality only minutes, Elizabeth, with her head still on William's shoulder, put her hand in Williams. William held the offered hand tight feeling for the first time in a long time pure joy. During his revelry Elizabeth timidly spoke.

" It sure is lovely out here. I feel as though I could sit in this manner forever. Don't you?"

William whispered a brief "Yes"

"William, may I ask you a question, one that you must answer honestly?'

William did not want to play games but he did not want to leave this enchanted bench just yet either so he nodded a yes.

"Alright, I have a question for you." She took a deep breath. "When I have to .... When I am no long living at Pemberley will you promise that we shall always remain as close as we are now?"

Elizabeth's question puzzled William. He paused searching for an answer. He did not think much about what would happen when Elizabeth did not live with him any more. It did not seem like a conceivable reality. He could not really picture his life without her now. But he knew that in those darkest moments of the night he had imagined life without her there. The dreadful day she would leave him. And deep down he knew that it would not and could never be the same. How could it be the same with her married to his cousin, with them living together, having children together, and with William alone and unhappy. He could not leave himself open to this kind of pain. He knew that he had to speak honestly but carefully. He cleared his throat and proceeded.

"Elizabeth, I wish we could always remain just as we are now on this bench, at Pemberley, together but I know that in a few minutes we will have to rise from our resting spot and return home. I also wish that we could keep our .... Friendship... when you are gone from Pemberley, a day I don't really like to think of as reality just yet. But my dear when this time comes things will change. You know it, you really do, and I know it. It would mean too much pain for me to stay as vulnerable as I am now. As I said last night, when I am around you my armor is gone. I would not do well with the circumstances you are going into. I would only cause problems for you and your.... Family. Elizabeth, I hope you understand what I am trying to say."

Elizabeth sat silently still leaning on William and grasping his hand. She raised her other hand to wipe away a tear.

"I was afraid that was what you were going to say. Oh William, Why do things have to be so mixed up? I am not ready to leave Pemberley yet. I never thought it would be this hard."

William lightly caressed her hand in his and spoke in a soothing voice.

"Well we can just enjoy the time we have. Who knows, by the time you have to leave you just might be sick of me."

Elizabeth sat silent, no light laugh at his remark. William knew there was something she was not telling him.

"You don't know when you are leaving, right? Is there some news I should know about?"

Elizabeth sighed and lifted her head from his shoulder. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a letter. She looked William in his eyes deeply.

"William, I got a letter from Richard this morning. He has just been given leave for a month. He is on his way home as we speak and should be here tomorrow morning."

The surprise in Williams's features was evident. He held Elizabeth's hand tighter.

"Well a month with Richard, that will be interesting but I am sure we will do just fine. I hope you did not think this would upset me too much. It does not mean you leaving or anything like that. You must think I am quite a fool if you thought I could not handle seeing my cousin, my favorite cousin mind you." William was smiling as he continued to babble in a kind of forced, playful manner.

Elizabeth paused collecting her thoughts and lightly put one finger on his lips to silence him temporarily. William looked confused but stopped talking all the same.

"I do not think you a fool, you must let me finish William. He is coming home tomorrow, as I said but his letter said more. It is not just a visit. He wishes us to be married in a fortnight. He wants me to summon my family and he wishes to have the wedding here, at Pemberley."

As Elizabeth spoke these words she lowered her finger from his lips. Watching helplessly as he struggled with the news. William's grasp loosened on Elizabeth's hand. He sat back on the bench like a broken man.

"Two weeks" he whispered. "Two weeks, that is like a breath, a second and then it will be gone." He spoke as if to himself. He suddenly turned and looked intensely at Elizabeth.

"And so you agree with him then? You are going to go along with this plan? I think it is very inconsiderate of him to thrust this upon you at the last minute, don't you think? I mean two weeks? What kind of a wedding can you have in two weeks. He is being very selfish, very selfish indeed."

Elizabeth saw the pain in William's eye, she could not look at his pain any more. She forced herself to look away. She spoke mechanically, as if she were rehearsing lines rather than speaking from her heart.

"What can I do William? He is my fiancé, these are his wishes. What I need from you right now is your support. You are my dearest friend. I have become closer to you during these past few months than I ever thought possible. Please continue to be my dearest friend. I know that when I am gone we cannot be the same but until then let us pretend nothing will change. Will you pretend with me William, please?"

William placed his warm hand on her blushing face. He lightly turned her face toward him. She would not lift her eyes to meet his.

"Elizabeth please look at me. Please." William's voice was filled with tenderness. Elizabeth had no choice but to let her eyes meet his. As William looked in her eyes they were sparkling with unshed tears. His heart revolted her request, he wanted to say no, get on his horse and mourn her loss. He did not want to be there at the wedding, he did not want to help her prepare for a union he did not condone but he knew he must. He must pull on his façade, he must pretend to be happy and he must pretend not to love her. He took a deep breath, preparing for the best acting he would ever do in his life and took Elizabeth's hand. Not lovingly but in a friendly way. He cleared his voice, wiped away a stray tear from Elizabeth's face and spoke.

"Yes dear cousin I will help. No doubt. I shall make sure we have a new pastor for the church and that the house is prepared for visitors. You should write you family and the Fitzwilliam's. We will have the Fitzwilliam's and Richard over tomorrow evening for a welcome home dinner. There is so much to be done my dear and only two weeks to do it in. I shall be as great a help to you in this venture as you have been to me in all of mine."

He smiled and without waiting for a response kissed her hand lightly, strode to his horse, mounted and said his farewells.

"I am off to get to work at once. I will see you at supper! Don't forget to tell Georgiana about the upcoming joyful event. She will be most excited." And with this he trotted off into the woods leaving nothing but a trail of muddy prints behind him.

Elizabeth was left in a stupor, sitting all alone on the iron bench under the great willow tree. Of all she had thought could happen, of all the things she expected this was the most surprising. She did not know what to feel. She was glad that she seemingly had not broken her dear friend's heart but at the same time she felt a little confused. She had be prepared for a more emotionally violent reaction but none came. She tried to feel relived but she really felt disappointed. She wondered if the night before that had seemed so intense and so love filled, had been nothing but a dream all along.

Part 17

The beating hooves of his horse matched the rhythm of his wildly beating heart. Tears were rising in his eyes as he recalled the scene he had just left. He had feigned control but now was on the edge of loosing it completely. Elizabeth to be married in two weeks, it did not seem real. He knew that there was nothing he could do and this made a frightening rage flood inside of him.

"It would be different" he thought " if I had any thought that Elizabeth cared for me or loved me in any way. If there was even an inkling of attraction other than sisterly affection. If only...."

These thoughts raced through his mind. If she loved him, then he would fight. He would fight to the ends of the earth, perform great feats, put his life on the line -- anything for her. Even if it meant hurting Richard or any other man that came in his way.

But alas he did not have any assurances of her love; he had no clues to her affection so he decided to do nothing. He just rode as hard as he could and let the rage and pain burn in him. He did not even notice the rain beating against his back. He did not notice and he did not care. This was his time to mourn. Mourn for the loss of his love, the loss of his happiness and the loss of his future.

Part 18

Posted On: Thursday, 14 November 2002, at 4:32 p.m.

William arrived home that afternoon worn, drenched and tired. He did not come to lunch. Georgiana and Elizabeth were worried. Each at different times attempted to coax him down stairs but he feigned work and exhaustion. They both dared not to entrench any more upon his privacy.

Yet in the evening as Elizabeth and Georgiana entered the dining room they saw William neatly dressed with a smile, of all things, on his face. They were both surprised but said nothing in case they could break this spell over him. He spoke cheerfully.

"Hello ladies! Now that I have finished my work for today I am free to spend the evening with my lovely sister and my lovely cousin! Come, sit and enjoy!"

Georgiana gave Elizabeth of surprise at the sudden change in her brother's mood. They both decided not to fight it. They had a lovely evening. It was like everything had been for the past three months, before the party the evening before, before the late night discussion, before the letter from Richard. It was enjoyable and Elizabeth began to think that she could forget the strong feelings William had conveyed and the strong feelings she felt but kept hidden inside, or at least push them into the dark spaces of her memory.

Surprisingly enough, William too enjoyed the evening. During his time alone in the afternoon he had mourned and fought against his emotions and finally he gave up. He gave up on hope and on the future he had dreamed. He now found that being with Elizabeth, seeing her laugh, being by her side. It was a lot less painful.

"I should have given up a lot sooner." He thought silently and slightly sarcastically.

Their time together waned deep into the night. The laughter had returned to both Elizabeth and William. All three of them played cards, read to each other and talked for hours. When the clock finally struck 1 am William looked around. The evening had been successful, exactly what he had wanted for his last night with Elizabeth. Well his last night with Elizabeth without Richard standing by, speaking to her, making her laugh, touching her. He shook his head and reminded himself of his resolve.

"Darcy, you don't care-you are over this, you don't care." He shook his head again. He knew that no matter how many times he said it to himself, it could never be true, but he knew he must keep saying it.

He looked around the room. In the past few minutes of silence his beautiful little sister had dozed off to sleep. He was so happy with the changes in her as of late. A happy spirit had returned to her. One that William knew he did not supply. In fact a happy spirit had returned to Pemberley over the past few months. As he thought of these things his eyes rested on Elizabeth. She was reading silently, curled up on the coach as if she were in her own world. Darcy sighed quietly. Elizabeth lifted her head. William cocked his head toward the sleeping Georgiana. Elizabeth smiled at William.

"She must be worn out, perhaps we should get her to bed" Elizabeth whispered as to not wake Georgiana.

"Well it is one in the morning. Tomorrow is a big day. Perhaps we should all get to bed." He smiled gently. Elizabeth closed her book slowly and spoke reluctantly.

"Yes, yes you are right. We should be going to bed. William, thank you for everything you have done for me. Thank you for this wonderful evening. It is so amazing that one night could be so delightful with just three people in a sitting room. I will always remember it as one of my best ever."

William just nodded and briefly said "It was a nice evening. I am just glad you and Georgian enjoyed it. Well I should awake my sister and get her to bed."

"Yes that sounds like a good idea. Well, " she arose from her seat " I will see you in the morning. Good night"

William stood and bowed "Good evening. I will see you in the morning."

As Elizabeth ascended the stairs she pondered the evening. It was pleasant, peaceful and fun. She was glad to have had some quality time with Georgiana and William before... oh she could not believe that she was not looking forward to having Richard there.

"Maybe it is because he has been gone for so long or because things are now going so fast. I don't feel ready to leave this place, to leave Georgiana or to leave William, especially William. I know I can't have it both ways, I know it but... why is all this so difficult. It was so much easier when I hated the arrogant Mr. Darcy but now I ...oh my, I LOVE the tender, passionate William."

This revelation came to her as she closed her bedroom door and stood frozen in the middle of her beautiful room.

"How could I be so... so ignorant, so blind, so insane. I cannot love him, it cannot be, not now. Not when Richard is coming home, not when my family is on the way to Pemberley for my wedding, not when I am supposed to MARRY another man."

Elizabeth staggered over to her bed and sat down, stunned. Never had a piece of information come to her so suddenly and in such an earth shattering way. Her heart was racing, and her mind spinning. All this time she had loved him. When he asked her to stay with him and Georgiana, when he asked for her assistance, when he defended her honor, when he had divulged his love, when he so respectfully and lovingly supported her and her upcoming marriage.

Elizabeth lay back, fully dressed on her bed with tears streaming down her face.

"This is not how things were supposed to happen. I was supposed to hate William, love Richard and live happily ever after but now... now I don't know what to do."

Sobs wracked her body as she let tears flow freely down her face. She found her self thinking of simpler times. The happy, carefree days she spent at Longbourn, when her biggest worry was her mother's "headaches".

"But those days are over and I can never turn back from this path I have taken. If I did nothing but sorrow would come of it. I would embarrass and hurt Richard, I would ruin dear William's reputation and my mother, oh my mother, would never look on me as her daughter again. William would not want me now anyway. After the way I have treated him. I was so careless, so callous to his feelings. I would ruin him and Georgiana if I remained in his life. I could not live with that weight on my shoulders. So it is decided. There is nothing more I can do but go through with my lot. I will pretend to love Richard, I will marry him in two weeks and I will try to endure my life without William. Many women have suffered a worse fate."

Elizabeth curled up on her bed, not bothering to remove her clothing and fell into a fitful sleep. She had horrible dreams of how life could have been with William- wonderful, sweet and full of happiness. She now knew they could never be anything more than dreams.

Part 19

Posted on Monday, March 10, 2003

The bright sun shone against Elizabeth’s closed eyelids. She slowly awoke from the sleep that she had finally attained during her rough night. As she lay in her warm, soft bed she suddenly had a shock go though her heart. Today was the day. Richard will be home in a matter of hours.

Her mind raced as she started to recall the events of the previous evening. The realization hit her again
“I am in love with William! Oh I wish that I could have fallen asleep and forgotten these feelings. Today of all days.”

She began to once again wallow in her self pity when she heard a light knock on the door. She tried to calm her voice.

“Uh, who is it?”

A familiarly feminine voice replied.

“It is Mary mum. I have just come to help you dress this morning if you have need of me.”

“Oh yes Mary, come in.”

Elizabeth rose to her feet, out of necessity pushing aside her feelings and regret. Mary gave Elizabeth a slight look of confusion seeing her still dressed in her gown from the night before. Being a good servant she said nothing.

“What gown would you wish today Miss Bennet?”

Elizabeth inspected her choices. She wanted to look her best. Her best for Richard and secretly her best for William.

“I will wear the burgundy one today, please. And please take extra care with my hair today, it is an important one but you always do such beautiful work.”

“Thank you mum, that is very generous of you to say so. It is not hard to make your hair beautiful. It would be lovely without any style or decoration at all. ”

Elizabeth smiled and let Mary work her magic. The feeling of a clean gown and Mary’s gentle, skillful fingers in her hair helped her relax and recoup for her busy and eventful day. After several minutes of twisting and pinning Mary placed a mirror in front of Elizabeth.

“There you go mum, I put a few small pearls in your hair since it is such a special day and all. I hope you approve.”

Elizabeth examined her upswept hair intertwined with a fine string of dainty pearls.

“Oh yes Marry, it is lovely. Thank you so much.” Elizabeth smiled at Mary in the mirror and then turned to squeeze her little hand. “I think I a pretty much done here, you may be excused if you wish.” Mary curtsied slightly, nodded and walked quietly out of the door.

Elizabeth turned back to the mirror to examine her face in the mirror. She was afraid that the realization from the night before would show in her eyes but as she looked at herself closely she was relieved to see that she looked the same as always. With this reassurance she put her mirror down and with a deep sigh headed down stairs.

Elizabeth stealthily tiptoed down the stairs toward the breakfast room. She hoped that William had already finished breakfast and she could eat with Georgiana in peace. When Elizabeth reached the large doors that lead to the breakfast room she bravely turned the knob and swung the door open. As she entered the room she hesitated for a moment. She was expecting to see Georgiana and perhaps William but all that stood before her now was the quite, smiling features of Fitzwilliam Darcy. Georgiana was no where to be found. Elizabeth forced herself to disguise the disappointment in her heart. She thought it would be difficult to have breakfast with both Georgiana and William but now that she was faced with eating only with William, she was quite distressed. William beckoned to Elizabeth in a friendly manor.

“Elizabeth, it is good to see you this morning. I thought that perhaps you all had abandoned me so I started breakfast alone. Now that you are here to join me, my morning is complete. Please come and sit by me.” William patted the place setting to the right of him at the head of the table. “I will have John bring you a plate. You must eat, this is your big day after all.”

Elizabeth silently followed William’s directions in silence. She was surprised at his casual nature and the nonchalant way he mentioned Richard’s homecoming. “If he is going to be so flippant well then so shall I.” Elizabeth though spitefully.
“Yes William it is a big day. I am so excited I do not think I can eat.” Elizabeth replied sweetly as she started to rise to exit the room.

William’s hand shot out and grabbed Elizabeth’s lightly. With a pleading look in his eye he gently asked “No, Elizabeth wont you please stay? I would truly appreciate it.”

Elizabeth was a bit stunned at William’s reaction. She turned slightly, her hand still in his, and nodded. She could not refuse William when he had that look in his eye. She lightly squeezed his hand and sat down.

“Of course I will stay and to tell the truth I am FAMISHED!” William releases her hand and pounded the table jovially.

“Now that is the Elizabeth I know. A kind heart and a hearty appetite.”

Elizabeth mocked offence “William how could you speak to a lady like that. I believe I should take offence to the comment!”

William laughed winked “Oh no, I adore a hearty appetite. The bigger the better is what I have to say!”

Elizabeth shot him an evil look “Now you have gone too far Mr. Darcy! I am now truly offended. A gentleman should not speak of such things to a lady! I always thought that my figure was pleasing but I guess you have different opinions about that subject. Forget it, I am not eating breakfast after all.”

William sighed and rolled his eyes but still felt the need to rectify the situation “Oh Elizabeth, enough with the ‘Mr. Darcy’ business. You know I am jesting with you and I believe you are with me. Do you really think I find your figure so repulsive? I can tell you that is not true. I do believe you have the most lovely form that I have ever laid eyes on.” William ended his tirade with a nod not realizing what he had just said.

Elizabeth’s breath stopped in her throat and the smile fell from her face. Suddenly William understood what he had just said. A few days ago it would have been a joke between friends but today it had such a different and intense meaning that it hurt both in different ways.

William chastised himself for forgetting his resolve to be distant but friendly. It had been too tempting and she had been so inviting but now he felt that he had overstepped his bounds. He translated Elizabeth’s sullen silence to mean anger.

Elizabeth turned her eyes toward the plate in front of her. She knew that if she looked at William she would cry and confess everything. ‘I knew it was too soon for this, why did I push myself. He must think I am insane’ Yet through it all William did not speak. ‘I should just speak, play it off as the joke it was meant to be.’

Elizabeth buried her face in her hands and suddenly felt the humor in the whole situation. As she thought about it more she started to laugh. As she laughed William looked at her in shock interpreting the strange noise and shaking shoulders to mean sorrow rather that humor. He reached out and put a gentle hand on Elizabeth’s shoulder.

“Oh my dear Elizabeth I am sorry to have upset you so much. I am not used to being so sensitive in my jesting, please if you could find it in your heart to forgive me I would be eternally grateful.” He gently rubbed the shaking back beside him trying to convey to her his apologies without more words.

William’s gentle apology heightened the humor in her eyes. She let out a loud chuckle which William took as a sob. He continued to rub her back trying to ignore the strange sounds escaping from Elizabeth’s enclosed arms. Suddenly it all became too much and Elizabeth knew that she could keep her dignity no longer without harming William in the process so she slowly lifted her face from her folded arms, looking William in the face with tears in her eyes and a smile on her face.

William was taken aback. With her goofy smile and red eyes Elizabeth was more than a sight to see. William retrieved his hand from Elizabeth’s back and fell into peals of his own laugher.

“You naughty girl! You tricked me! I thought that I had hurt you so much and all this time you have been laughing at me! I should be mad but there is too much humor in this situation to not laugh!”

William laughed heartily. He laughed because the whole circumstance was funny and because he was so relieved he had not harmed the fragile friendship between Elizabeth and him.

Elizabeth picked up the napkin from her lap and started wiping the tears that were streaming down her face, trying to calm herself.

“William we must gain control over ourselves. The servants will think that we have gotten into the wine and are drunk off our minds. That rumor kind of rumor about the “Master of Pemberley” will never do!”

But even the thought of the two of them drunk at 8 in the morning, or ever, renewed the laughter between them. The continued exchanging humorous quips for the next few minutes until they heard a loud noise come from the main hall. They both slowed their laughter and tried to regain composure.

“I wonder what that could be?” William had almost gained complete composure with a look of concern in his eyes.

“Perhaps it is a constable come to arrest us for disturbing the peace!” Elizabeth said with a look of mischief in her eyes.

“Elizabeth!” William warned in a jesting voice “You are trying to pull me back into your silly game but this time I will resist!”

“Oh ‘Mister High and Mighty’ you will resist will you? That is so very big of you!” Elizabeth just smiled and looked William straight in the eye as if to challenge him but William could tell she was laughing inside. William was not to be out done. He met her stare as arrogantly as he could. And there they sat, their gazes locked. After a short moment both William and Elizabeth started to guiltily realize what they had been doing. Tough neither one realized it both had been allowing their fantasy of being with the other take over their common sense. The smiles on their faces almost simultaneously dropped but their gazes did not break. William reached out slowly and placed his hand instinctively on the resting hand in front of him. Elizabeth’s heart raced as she mimicked his action by placing her hand on top of his.

Her mind raced “I must do something, perhaps I should tell him how I feel. He deserves to know that he does not love in vain. But he DOES love in vain. I can never be his and had can never be mine. That would be more painful that not knowing of love at all.” Elizabeth’s thoughts were interrupted by the large breakfast door opening. Their gaze was broken as they both looked to see who entered. Both Elizabeth and William expected to see the feminine form of Georgian standing in the doorway but instead they saw the distinctly masculine form of Richard Fitzwilliam dressed in his regimentals. His talk black boots echoed as he entered the great room. No one spoke.

Elizabeth quickly pulled her hands away from William’s, ashamed that the thought of telling him anything had even crossed her mind. She slowly rose to her feet.

“Richard, you are home.” Elizabeth whispered in a trembling voice. A smile broke across the Colonel’s face. He walked quickly across the room to his fiancée. When he reached her without a word he picked Elizabeth up in his arms, moved away from the table and tuned her in circles. When they finally ended their whirlwind Richard looked Elizabeth deep in her eyes and kissed her softly on her lips. When the brief but tender embrace was completed he scanned her face with loving eyes.

“Elizabeth, you have no idea how wonderful it is to see you again. Your letters have sustained me but now your face revives me.” He kissed her once again, this time more deeply. Elizabeth now remembered why she had agreed to marry this tender, loving man. As Richard broke their embrace they both seemed to remember that they were not alone in the room. Richard let go of Elizabeth’s waist and walked briskly over to his cousin.

“Darcy, good old man it is so good to see you again.” He shook his hand heartily like it had been years, rather than months that they had been separated and repeatedly slapped the silent man on his back. “I am sorry about that display back there, thank goodness Georgiana was in the room, my impropriety would have made her swoon I am sure. But surely you don’t mind.” Richard elbowed Darcy in a friendly manner.

Darcy was recovering from the shock of suddenly seeing the man he had sought to undermine for the past few months. The real man that had walked through his breakfast room doors blanched in comparison to the man he had built in his mind during his time with Elizabeth. William had convinced himself that Richard did not truly love Elizabeth, that he was uncaring and wrong for her while he himself was perfect for her in every way. But now with the real Richard thrust before him he was forced to face the reality of his love and devotion to Elizabeth. Though still slightly shaken William forced up his wall of steel, put on a slightly forced smile and replied in the most friendly manner he could.

“Richard, it is good to see you again. I am glad to see you return in full health.”

“Oh I am in better than good health, I am in excellent health now that I am near home, with my future bride and in the company of family. Life could not be better for me right now William. I do think I have you to thank for my present situation though. Without you I do not think my speedy nuptials would have been possible. And from everything I have heard from my lovely Elizabeth.” Richard gestured for Elizabeth to take his hand and join him by William “You have been quite a good host and taken care of my lady well. I tell you William you must have done something right because the lady speaks highly of you. I know it must be a fib but she has even informed me that you two have become quite good friends! Could this actually be true.”

William cleared his throat uncomfortably not knowing how to answer Richard. Not to mention the fact that his head was swimming with the idea that Elizabeth could have spoken and though of him when he was not around. It was more than he could have hoped at that moment. “Oh Elizabeth is too kind I am sure. Yes, we have become friends, as cousins should be. She has been a great help to Georgiana and to Pemberley. Wait till you see the changes in your youngest cousin. You shall be pleasantly surprised.”

“Oh William you flatter me too much. Georgiana is just growing up into a lovely young woman. She does have good blood you know!” Elizabeth teased and they both laughed. Richard was taken a little aback by the familiarity in the discussion between Elizabeth and his cousin. It seemed they had become closer that he could have ever imagined but being the trusting individual he is Richard thought nothing serious of the familiarity and could never have imagined the things that had taken place in his absences.

“You two have become good friends. Well then I am quite a lucky man. My best friend and my fiancée don’t detest each other, which is so often the case. This means more hunting for me and more felicity in the home.” They all smiled and laughed casually.

They moved from the breakfast room to the morning parlor, Richard not releasing his fiancée’s hand the whole duration of the visit. Soon enough Georgiana joined the jolly group and for a few moments William actually thought he could be happy without Elizabeth as his wife and with her married to Richard.

Richard left before lunch. He had not gone home before he visited Pemberley and thought that if he delayed too much longer his mother would send out a search party for him. Richard said adieu to his cousins and Elizabeth walked him to the door. Before Elizabeth could reach for the door handle Richard grasped her hand in his and lightly pressed her back against the large carved door. As she was turned around Elizabeth’s breath quickened when she saw William’s form in the background over Richard’s shoulder. She hoped he would leave, understanding the private moment that Richard was looking. She looked at Richard’s face but he was completely unaware of their intruder.

She tried to look back to the hallway to see if William was still there but as if they were in their own world Richard kissed the back of Elizabeth’s soft white hand and released it slowly. He then raised his hand to caress her cheek with his callused hand letting it wander into the dark curls that surrounded her face. After studying her in that manner for what seemed like an hour but in reality could have been no more than a minute he took her blushing face in both his hands and spoke earnestly.

“Oh my dear, sweet Elizabeth I have waited so long to see you alone again. Waited to touch your face, your skin, and your hair. I never want to leave you again my dearest, I could not bear it. I am sure you think me hasty but I have learned that unless I take the opportunity to make you mine, mine forever, something might come in our way once again.” He gently leaned over and kissed her lightly on the forehead and then on the lips repeatedly leaving Elizabeth breathless. She had never been kissed like this and though she enjoyed it her heart burned to know if William was still there, watching. Soon Richard reluctantly pulled away. Elizabeth took the opportunity to look back toward the hallway that gaped in front of her. She did not see the tall figure any longer but sensed that he was still near. She could almost hear his footsteps echoing in the grand entrance. She felt haunted by his presence.

Richard brought her back to reality. “My dear have you contacted your family and let them know of our upcoming wedding? I would hate for them to miss it because of the short notice.”

Elizabeth drew a deep breath and regained her composure. “Yes I wrote to them as soon as I received you letter. They will be here in two days. William has offered to have them stay here at Pemberley but I think I feel more comfortable with them at the inn in Lambton. It is close but far enough away to keep my mother’s spells from annoying the whole neighborhood.” They both laughed, understanding fully what was being said.

“Yes, yes, I agree. I know that Darcy has come to value your friendship but I do not think that he could bear having your mother in the house for an extended period of time. Well my dear I should go now. My mother will worry. I love you and I will miss you over the next few hours. Farewell.” He kissed her hand and opened the door. As the door closed Elizabeth let out a sigh of relief. It had been nice having Richard back. She could not ask for a more loving, or tender fiancée but her heart still burned for William. What had he seen, what had he heard? She wanted to run and find him. She wanted those passionate kisses she had experience to come from him. She could not control these thoughts that were running swiftly through her head. She just wanted to be alone and to think but she had to prepare for the welcome home party that evening. She could not let herself feel this way. It was not right, it was not proper. She took a deep breath and pushed away from the door she had been resting on. She silently walked up the stairs, renewing once again her resolve to forget William and to love Richard.

Continued In Next Section