Beginning, Section II, Next Section
Chapter 10
Elizabeth related to Jane the next day, what had passed between Mr. Wickham and herself. Jane listened with astonishment and concern; it was not in her nature to question the veracity of a young man of such amiable appearance as Wickham-- but neither could she believe that Mr. Darcy could be so unworthy of Mr. Bingley's regard. -- Yet the slightest possibility of Wickham having really endured such unkindness, was enough to interest all her tender feelings; and nothing therefore remained to be done, but to think well of them both, to defend the conduct of each, and throw into the account of accident or mistake, whatever could not be otherwise explained.
``They have both,'' said she, ``been deceived, I dare say, in some way or other, of which we can form no idea. Interested people have perhaps misrepresented each to the other. It is, in short, impossible for us to conjecture the causes or circumstances which may have alienated them, without actual blame on either side.''
``Very true, indeed; -- and now, my dear Jane, what have you got to say in behalf of the interested people who have probably been concerned in the business? -- Do clear them too, or we shall be obliged to think ill of somebody.''
``Laugh as much as you choose, but you will not laugh me out of my opinion. My dearest Lizzy, do but consider in what a disgraceful light it places Mr Wickham to be maligning his Godfather's son in such a way. His charges really are impossible. No man of common humanity, no man who had any value for his character as Mr Darcy certainly has, could be capable of it. If this were the case his most intimate friends could not be so excessively deceived in him? oh! no.''
``I can't easily imagine Mr Bingley's being imposed on either, but why Mr. Wickham should invent such a history of himself as he gave me last night; names, facts, every thing mentioned without ceremony, I would truly like to know. -- If such a story gets abroad it may be difficult for Mr Darcy to contradict it. Mr Wickham has such an appearence of truth in his looks.''
``It is difficult indeed -- it is distressing. -- One does not know what to think,'' Jane answered, still unwilling to pass any judgement, but Elizabeth felt certain that she knew what to think!
The two young ladies were summoned from the shrubbery where this conversation passed, by the arrival of some of the very persons of whom they had been speaking; Mr. Bingley and his sisters came to give their personal invitation for the long expected ball at Netherfield, which was fixed for the following Tuesday. The two ladies were delighted to see their dear friend again, called it an age since they had met, and repeatedly asked what she had been doing with herself since their separation. To the rest of the family they paid little attention; avoiding Mrs. Bennet as much as possible, saying not much to Elizabeth, and nothing at all to the others. They were soon gone again, rising from their seats with an activity which took their brother by surprise, and hurrying off as if eager to escape from Mrs. Bennet's civilities.
The prospect of the Netherfield ball was extremely agreeable to every female of the family. To the younger two it was simply an opportunity to dance, Mary foresaw that she might have the chance to perform, but Mrs Bennet chose to consider it as given in compliment to her eldest daughter, and was particularly flattered by receiving the invitation from Mr. Bingley himself, instead of a ceremonious card. Jane pictured to herself a happy evening in the society of her two friends, and the attention of their brother. Elizabeth also looked forward to the social aspects of the evening but hoped too, that she might perhaps have her curiosity regarding Mr Wickham and Mr Darcy further sated. She didn't really question why matters pertaining to Mr Darcy were of such fascination to herself.
Elizabeth's spirits were high with the prospect of the ball, and though she did not often speak unnecessarily to Mr. Collins, she could not help asking him whether he intended to accept Mr. Bingley's invitation, and, if he did, whether he would think it proper to join in the evening's amusement; and she was rather surprised to find that he entertained no scruple whatever on that head, and was very far from dreading a rebuke either from the Archbishop, or Lady Catherine de Bourgh, by venturing to dance.
``I am by no means of opinion, I assure you,'' said he, ``that a ball of this kind, given by a young man of character to respectable people, can have any evil tendency; and I am so far from objecting to dancing myself, that I shall hope to be honoured with the hands of all my fair cousins in the course of the evening, and I take this opportunity of soliciting yours, Miss Elizabeth, for the two first dances especially, -- a preference which I trust my cousin Jane will attribute to the right cause, and not to any disrespect for her.''
Elizabeth felt herself completely taken in, and though she had no pleasure at the prospect, Mr Collins's proposal was accepted with as good a grace as she could find.
She was not the better pleased with his gallantry from the idea it seemed to confirm her suspicion that she was selected from among her sisters as worthy of being the mistress of Hunsford Parsonage, and of assisting to form a quadrille table at Rosings, in the absence of more eligible visitors. The idea soon reached full conviction, as she observed his increasing civilities toward herself, and heard his frequent attempt at a compliment on her wit and vivacity; and though more astonished than gratified herself by this effect of her charms, it was not long before her mother gave her to understand that the probability of their marriage was exceedingly agreeable to her.
Elizabeth, however, did not choose to take the hint, being well aware that a serious dispute must be the consequence of any reply. Mr. Collins might never make the offer, and till he did, it was useless to quarrel about him.
If there had not been a Netherfield ball to prepare for and talk of, the younger Miss Bennets would have been in a pitiable state at this time, for from the day of the invitation to the day of the ball, there was such a succession of rain as prevented their walking to Meryton once. No aunt, no officers, no news could be sought after; -- the very shoe-roses for Netherfield were got by proxy - and nothing less than a dance on Tuesday, could have made such a Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday endurable to Kitty and Lydia.
The evening of the ball did eventually arrive, and Elizabeth entered the drawing-room at Netherfield and scanned the guests to see if she could discern Mr Wickham among the cluster of red coats there assembled. She was not surprised when the absolute fact of his absence was pronounced by his friend Mr. Denny, to whom Lydia eagerly applied. He told them that Wickham had been obliged to go to town on business the day before, and was not yet returned; adding, with a significant smile,
``I do not imagine his business would have called him away just now, if he had not wished to avoid a certain gentleman here.''
This part of his intelligence, though unheard by Lydia, was caught by Elizabeth, and it assured her that she was right to be suspicious of Mr Wickham, particularly as she remembered his boast of having no fear of seeing Mr Darcy -- that Mr Darcy might leave the country, but that he should stand his ground. A little smile came to her face as she again discerned the inconsistency between his actions and his professions.
She found Charlotte Lucas, whom she had not seen for a week, she was able to transfer her thoughts to the oddities of her cousin, and to point him out to her particular notice. The two first dances, however, brought distress; they were dances of mortification. Mr Collins, awkward and solemn, apologising instead of attending, and often moving wrong without being aware of it, gave her all the shame and misery which a disagreeable partner for a couple of dances can give. The moment of her release from him was ecstasy.
Elizabeth had been too much distracted by her situation to notice that once again a pair of dark eyes had been following her almost from the moment she had entered the room. Darcy, who had spent much of the last week convincing himself that he should not be enamoured of Miss Elizabeth Bennet, found all his hard work undone within minutes of her arrival. He had watched her first two dances with a sense of contempt for Mr Collins, mingled with an astonishment that he would be presumptuous enough to believe he was equal to stand up beside Elizabeth.
She enjoyed the next set of dances with an officer, unaware that with each smile given, Darcy's feelings were bending toward jealousy. When those dances were over she returned to Charlotte Lucas, and was in conversation with her, when she found herself suddenly addressed by Mr. Darcy, who took her very much by surprise in his application for her hand. Elizabeth found herself accepting his invitation with a - somewhat nervous - pleasure.
``I dare say you will find him very agreeable," Charlotte whispered to her as he walked away, misreading Elizabeth's nervousness as she not yet aware of her changed opinion of Darcy.
Elizabeth simply smiled at her friend as she recalled her earlier determination to hate the man.
"You needn't worry for me Charlotte. I've found Mr Darcy does improve on acquaintance. I'm sure I will find him agreeable, but I do not wish to find him too agreeable, because there has been enough in his manner to make his awareness of the disparity of our positions, very clear indeed.
When the dancing recommenced, and Darcy approached to claim her hand.
Elizabeth took her place in the set, amazed at the dignity to which she was arrived in being allowed to stand opposite to Mr Darcy, and reading in her neighbours' looks their equal amazement in beholding it. They stood for some time though, without speaking a word; and she began to imagine that their silence was to last through the two dances, so she made some slight observation on the dance. He replied, and was again silent. After a pause of some minutes, in which she began to observe that he might be as nervous as she, Elizabeth addressed him a second time with:
``It is your turn to say something now, Mr. Darcy. -- I talked about the dance, and you ought to make some kind of remark on the size of the room, or the number of couples.''
He smiled, and assured her that whatever she wished him to say should be said.
``Very well. -- That reply will do for the present. -- Perhaps by and by I may observe that private balls are much pleasanter than public ones. -- But now we may be silent.''
``Do you talk by rule then, while you are dancing?''
``Sometimes. One must speak a little, you know. It would look odd to be entirely silent for half an hour together, and yet for the advantage of some, conversation ought to be so arranged as that they may have the trouble of saying as little as possible.''
``Are you consulting your own feelings in the present case, or do you imagine that you are gratifying mine?''
``Both,'' replied Elizabeth archly; ``for I have always seen a great similarity in the turn of our minds. -- We are each of an unsocial, taciturn disposition, unwilling to speak, unless we expect to say something that will amaze the whole room, and be handed down to posterity with all the eclat of a proverb.''
``This is no very striking resemblance of your own character, I am sure,'' said he, allowing himself a little smile. ``How near it may be to mine, I cannot pretend to say. -- You think it a faithful portrait undoubtedly.''
``I must not decide on my own performance," she cheekily replied.
He made no answer, and they were again silent till they had gone down the dance, when he asked her if she and her sisters did not very often walk to Meryton. She answered in the affirmative, and, unable to resist the temptation, added,
``When you met us there the other day, we had just been forming a new acquaintance.''
The effect was immediate. A deeper shade of hauteur overspread his features, but he said not a word, and Elizabeth, though blaming herself for her own weakness, could not go on. At length Darcy spoke, and in a constrained manner said,
``Mr. Wickham is blessed with such happy manners as may ensure his making friends -- whether he may be equally capable of retaining them, is less certain.''
``I wondered if that might be the case," Elizabeth confided. "He would have me believe he has been so unlucky as to lose your friendship, and in a manner which he is likely to suffer from all his life.''
Darcy made no answer, and seemed desirous of changing the subject. At that moment Sir William Lucas appeared close to them, meaning to pass through the set to the other side of the room; but on perceiving Mr. Darcy he stopped with a bow of superior courtesy, to compliment him on his dancing and his partner.
``I have been most highly gratified indeed, my dear Sir. Such very superior dancing is not often seen. It is evident that you belong to the first circles. Allow me to say, however, that your fair partner does not disgrace you, and that I must hope to have this pleasure often repeated, especially when a certain desirable event, my dear Miss Eliza (glancing at her sister and Bingley), shall take place. What congratulations will then flow in! I appeal to Mr. Darcy: -- but let me not interrupt you, Sir. -- You will not thank me for detaining you from the bewitching converse of that young lady, whose bright eyes are also upbraiding me.''
The latter part of this address was scarcely, heard by Darcy; but Sir William's allusion to his friend seemed to strike him forcibly, and his eyes were directed with a very serious expression towards Bingley and Jane, who were dancing together.
He was brought back to earth though, by an exasperated comment from Elizabeth.
"I wish people could be content to hold their conjectures to themselves. I can see Jane retreat further into her reserve with every misapplied interference!"
She suddenly blushed on realising to whom she had addressed such a personal comment.
Darcy's surprise at Sir William's supposition was quickly supplanted by a comprehension of Elizabeth's words and an accompanying feeling of blindness in having not discerned Jane's shyness himself. He felt a little ashamed at this realisation, thinking that if anyone might understand reserve, it should be him.
Recovering himself, however, shortly, he turned to his partner, and said,
``Sir William's interruption has made me forget what we were talking of.''
``I do not think we were speaking at all. Sir William could not have interrupted any two people in the room who had less to say for themselves. -- We have tried two or three subjects already without success, and what we are to talk of next I cannot imagine.''
``What think you of books?'' said he, smiling.
``Books -- I am sure we never read the same, or not with the same feelings.''
``I am sorry you think so; but if that be the case, there can at least be no want of subject. -- We may compare our different opinions. What was the novel you read whilst you were nursing Miss Bennet?''
Lizzy blushed again, this time in remembrance of what had passed between the two of them in the library, and she quickly answered his question in order to divert attention from her discomposure. She was surprised to learn that Darcy had actually read the novel himself, and they were able to have quite a lively and interesting exchange regarding the plot twists and character developments. What Darcy neglected to tell Elizabeth was that he'd only read the book during the past week, and he'd taken it from the shelf simply to satisfy a curiosity as to what had interested the fair Miss Elizabeth Bennet.
They moved down the dance in silence once more and Darcy, having enjoyed the last few minutes of conversation very much indeed, was completely taken aback by the totally unrelated question with which Elizabeth now addressed him. Still, he was not unwilling to answer.
``I remember hearing you once say, Mr. Darcy, that you hardly ever forgave, that your resentment once created was unappeasable. You are very cautious, I suppose, as to its being created.''
``I am,'' said he, with a firm voice.
``And never allow yourself to be blinded by prejudice?''
``I hope not.''
``It is particularly incumbent on those who never change their opinion, to be secure of judging properly at first.''
``May I ask to what these questions tend?''
``They tend to the illustration of your character,'' said she, endeavouring to shake off her gravity. ``I am trying to make it out.''
``And what is your success?''
She shook her head. ``I believe I begin to comprehend the essence of your nature Mr Darcy, but I hear such different accounts of you as puzzle me exceedingly.''
``I can readily believe,'' answered he gravely, ``that report may vary greatly with respect to me; and I could wish, Miss Bennet, that you were not to sketch my character at the present moment, as there is reason to fear that the performance would reflect no credit on either.''
" Oh... do not think that your character is in danger from me Mr Darcy, but I feel it might be right to warn you there is another who is laying charges against it."
"What has Mr Wickham had to say of me Miss Bennet?" Darcy asked with a sigh.
"That you have dishonoured the intentions of your father's will in denying him a living which was intended for him," she said simply.
"He did not also happen to mention that he firmly resolved against taking orders, and received three thousand pounds in lieu of his claim to further assistance in the church?"
"No," Elizabeth answered with small smile. "That aspect of his story seemed to have quite slipped his mind. He's a rather smooth character this Mr Wickham of yours."
Elizabeth laughed aloud at the expression on Mr Darcy's face upon her calling him his Mr Wickham, but went on seriously enough.
"Thank you for telling me of this Mr Darcy. Next time he tries to importune me with such tales I shall let him understand that I know what he is about."
Elizabeth found herself much lightened upon hearing Mr Darcy's very adequate explanation, though she continued to wonder at the depth of enmity there seemed to be between these two men, which seemed somehow out of proportion to the circumstances. Still, she asked no further questions in that regard, and they moved down the other dance in discussion of other more trivial and light-hearted matters.
They separated at the end of the set, on each side satisfied, but not to an equal degree. The pleasure Darcy felt over his time with her was diluted by the continued awareness that it would be inappropriate to try to further this relationship with someone as socially inferior as Miss Elizabeth Bennet. He now had more reason to rue his weakness in asking her to dance, because rather than sating his desires, it had simply caused an increase in the power of his feeling toward her, and that would not do!
Chapter 11
Elizabeth was pleased to find Jane by herself for a moment after the dance, and was able to pass on what she had learned of Mr Darcy's innocence.
"Yes, I broached the matter with Mr Bingley too," Jane replied, "and though he did not know the whole of his history, and was quite ignorant of the circumstances which principally offended Mr. Darcy; he vouches for the good conduct, the probity and honour of his friend, and is perfectly convinced that Mr. Wickham has deserved much less attention from Mr. Darcy than he has received."
Elizabeth could not help but smile at how easily the uninformed assurance of Mr Bingley had carried so much weight with her sister, and she then changed the discourse to that of Mr Bingley himself, a subject even more gratifying.
Elizabeth listened with delight to the happy, though modest hopes which Jane entertained of Bingley's regard, and said all in her power to heighten her confidence in it. Whist listening to her sister's longings though, she was vaguely becoming aware of her own. The more time she spent with Mr Darcy, the more alert she became to his superior qualities, and the more her awareness of his pride receded in significance.
On their being joined by Mr. Bingley however, Elizabeth withdrew to Miss Lucas; to whose inquiry after the pleasantness of her last partner she had scarcely replied, before Mr. Collins came up to them and told her with great exultation that he had just been so fortunate as to make a most important discovery.
``I have found out,'' said he, ``by a singular accident, that there is now in the room a near relation of my patroness. I happened to overhear the gentleman himself mentioning to the young lady who does the honours of this house the names of his cousin Miss de Bourgh, and of her mother Lady Catherine. How wonderfully these sort of things occur! Who would have thought of my meeting with -- perhaps -- a nephew of Lady Catherine de Bourgh in this assembly! -- I am most thankful that the discovery is made in time for me to pay my respects to him, which I am now going to do, and trust he will excuse my not having done it before. My total ignorance of the connection must plead my apology.''
``You are not going to introduce yourself to Mr. Darcy?'' asked Elizabeth, horrified by the idea of her cousin imposing on him in such an inappropriate manner.
``Indeed I am. I shall intreat his pardon for not having done it earlier. I believe him to be Lady Catherine's nephew. It will be in my power to assure him that her ladyship was quite well yesterday se'nnight.''
Elizabeth tried hard to dissuade him from such a scheme; assuring him that Mr. Darcy would consider his addressing him without introduction as an impertinent freedom, rather than a compliment to his aunt; that it was not in the least necessary there should be any notice on either side, and that if it were, it must belong to Mr. Darcy, the superior in consequence, to begin the acquaintance. -- Mr. Collins listened to her with the determined air of following his own inclination and when she ceased speaking, replied thus,
``My dear Miss Elizabeth, I have the highest opinion in the world of your excellent judgement in all matters within the scope of your understanding, but permit me to say that there must be a wide difference between the established forms of ceremony amongst the laity, and those which regulate the clergy; for give me leave to observe that I consider the clerical office as equal in point of dignity with the highest rank in the kingdom -- provided that a proper humility of behaviour is at the same time maintained. You must therefore allow me to follow the dictates of my conscience on this occasion, which leads me to perform what I look on as a point of duty. Pardon me for neglecting to profit by your advice, which on every other subject shall be my constant guide, though in the case before us I consider myself more fitted by education and habitual study to decide on what is right than a young lady like yourself.''
There seemed nothing else Elizabeth could do to forestall such an ill-conceived venture, and with a low bow he left her to attack Mr. Darcy, whose reception of his advances she watched with discomfiture and unease. His astonishment at being so addressed was very evident. Her cousin prefaced his speech with a solemn bow, and though she could not hear a word of it, she felt as if hearing it all, and saw in the motion of his lips the words ``apology,'' ``Hunsford,'' and ``Lady Catherine de Bourgh.'' -- It vexed her to see Darcy exposed to such a man. Mr. Darcy was eyeing him with unrestrained wonder, and when at last Mr. Collins allowed him time to speak, replied with an air of distant civility. Mr. Collins, however, was not discouraged from speaking again, and Mr. Darcy's contempt seemed abundantly increasing with the length of his second speech, and at the end of it he only made him a slight bow, and moved another way.
Mr. Collins then returned to Elizabeth. Why he could not go elsewhere she did not know.
``I have no reason, I assure you,'' Mr Collins launched in without thought, ``to be dissatisfied with my reception. Mr. Darcy seemed much pleased with the attention. He answered me with the utmost civility, and even paid me the compliment of saying that he was so well convinced of Lady Catherine's discernment as to be certain she could never bestow a favour unworthily. It was really a very handsome thought. Upon the whole, I am much pleased with him.''
Her embarrassment in being associated with her cousin was acute, and in her humiliation she felt unable to face Mr Darcy any more that evening.
As Elizabeth had no longer any interest of her own to pursue, she turned her attention almost entirely on her sister and Mr. Bingley, and the train of agreeable reflections which her observations gave birth to, made her perhaps almost as happy as Jane. She saw her, in idea, settled in that very house, in all the felicity which a marriage of true affection could bestow; and she felt capable, under such circumstances, of endeavouring even to like Bingley's two sisters.
Her mother's thoughts she plainly saw were bent the same way, and she determined not to venture near her, lest she might hear too much. When they sat down to supper, therefore, she considered it a most unlucky perverseness which placed them within one of each other; and deeply was she vexed to find that her mother was talking to that one person (Lady Lucas) freely, openly, and of nothing else but of her expectation that Jane would be soon married to Mr. Bingley. -- It was an animating subject, and Mrs. Bennet seemed incapable of fatigue while enumerating the advantages of the match. His being such a charming young man, and so rich, and living but three miles from them, were the first points of self-gratulation; and then it was such a comfort to think how fond the two sisters were of Jane, and to be certain that they must desire the connection as much as she could do. It was, moreover, such a promising thing for her younger daughters, as Jane's marrying so greatly must throw them in the way of other rich men; and lastly, it was so pleasant at her time of life to be able to consign her single daughters to the care of their sister, that she might not be obliged to go into company more than she liked. It was necessary to make this circumstance a matter of pleasure, because on such occasions it is the etiquette, but no one was less likely than Mrs. Bennet to find comfort in staying at home at any period of her life. She concluded with many good wishes that Lady Lucas might soon be equally fortunate, though evidently and triumphantly believing there was no chance of it.
In vain did Elizabeth endeavour to check the rapidity of her mother's words, or persuade her to describe her felicity in a less audible whisper; for to her inexpressible vexation, she could perceive that the chief of it was overheard by Mr. Darcy, who sat opposite to them. Her mother only scolded her for being nonsensical.
``What is Mr. Darcy to me, pray, that I should be afraid of him? I am sure we owe him no such particular civility as to be obliged to say nothing he may not like to hear.''
``For heaven's sake, madam, speak lower. -- What advantage can it be to you to offend Mr. Darcy? -- You will never recommend yourself to his friend by so doing.''
Nothing that she could say, however, had any influence. Her mother would talk of her views in the same intelligible tone.
Elizabeth blushed and blushed again with shame and vexation. She could not help frequently glancing her eye at Mr. Darcy, though every glance convinced her of what she dreaded; for though he was not always looking at her mother, she was convinced that his attention was fixed by her.
This at least moved Elizabeth to speak to him, in the vain hope of at least distracting him from her mother's humiliating and precipitous bragging, and when he looked at her she was surprised that among other anticipated emotions, she could also read compassion for her predicament in his eyes.
"Mr Darcy," she ventured, " Would it be too much of an imposition to ask if I might borrow the novel which you recommended to me during our dance?"
" Not at all Miss Bennet," Darcy answered, and in noting a touch of mortification in her face, his concern for Elizabeth momentarily overwhelmed his indignation at the behaviour of the mother, so moving him to suggest they excuse themselves from the table for a moment in order to locate the volume.
Elizabeth accepted his invitation with relief, and made her apologies to her mother and Lady Lucas as she stood to remove herself from her unenviable position.
There was so much of interest and activity in the room that most guests paid little attention to the exit of these two, Miss Bingley though, watched them leave the room together in alarm, particularly as she was unable to immediately extricate herself from the conversation she was having with her neighbour.
Darcy noted Elizabeth's sigh on escaping the room and wondered anew at how this daughter could have such a mother. He almost took her hand in his as an expression of comfort, but remembered himself in time, and turned his thoughts to the promised novel.
"Ah... Miss Elizabeth..." he began, suddenly disconcerted as he realised that being his personal copy, the book was not in the library but in his own room. A fleeting idea that it mightn't hurt to ask her to walk up with him, was rejected as not only highly improper, but also absurd. Still... a recollection of Bingley's comment when the ball was first considered, made him muse that such a proposition was most certainly not what Bingley had in mind when saying Darcy could go to bed during the ball if he chose. He repressed a smile at this inappropriate wandering of his mind, and brought his thoughts back to the task at hand before continuing. "It was thoughtless of me to pull you away from company, as I realise I'll have to leave you alone whilst I retrieve the novel from beside my bed."
"Oh, please don't apologise for pulling me away from the crowd," she nodded toward the room they'd just exited. " A moment or two of solitude is exactly what I'm yearning."
Darcy registered a slight disappointment that she seemed happier with the idea of some space, than with the prospect of time with him, and with a soft "I'll be but a moment", was gone.
Miss Bingley, having expeditiously cut off the conversation with her supper companion, looked from the door unseen, to note Mr Darcy almost to the top of the stairs, and Miss Bennet by herself at a window, simply looking out. Feeling a great sense of relief in the assurance that their simultaneous departure from the room was purely co-incidental, she returned to the party in a happier frame of mind, but still keenly watching for Darcy's return.
Darcy, true to his word was gone for only a few minutes, but on his return found the foyer empty. He was momentarily taken aback by Elizabeth's absence before discerning a far door left slightly ajar. His instinct that Elizabeth had slipped outside proved correct as he espied her not far off, looking up into the heavens. Rather than approach her immediately Darcy took the time to appreciate the image before him. Her skin looked almost incandescent in the soft light thrown by the half moon, and a light breeze played with the loose wisps which had managed to escape from her hair, and pressed the gown against her slender figure. The whole image fitted so well with expression of pure satisfaction in her eyes and the half smile on her parted lips, as she obviously delighted in the wonder of the night sky.
"Sometimes one can become almost too familiar with such beauty, and begin to take it for granted," he spoke quietly, but still caused her to jump at the unexpected sound of his the voice, "but then you take the time to look at it anew, and it again overwhelms."
"I know exactly what you mean Mr Darcy," she answered with a self conscious smile, as she felt he'd noted her start. "Upon looking out the window it caught me by surprise tonight, and just called me to come out for a clearer view."
"You should have told it no," Darcy smiled, "at least until you had a chance to put your coat on. The sky should know better than to entice young women out of doors on such a brisk November night. You'd better come inside now."
Elizabeth didn't argue as he took her arm and lead her to the door, and she appreciated the warmth which greeted her as she re-entered house. Before they could talk further though, a few more guest, no doubt seeking release from the confines of the supper room, began to move into the area, and with a short exchange of words with no great import, Darcy handed her the novel, and watched her leave to place it with her cloak, before he returned to the hubbub of the party. Miss Bingley did not miss his entry, and quickly moved to his side to claim him for what remained of the evening.
After her break and the pleasantness of her exchange with Mr Darcy, Elizabeth had begun to revive. But not long was the interval of tranquillity; for when she returned supper was over and singing was talked of. She had the mortification of seeing Mary, after very little entreaty, preparing to oblige the company. By many significant looks and silent entreaties, did she endeavour to prevent such a proof of complaisance, -- but in vain; Mary would not understand them; such an opportunity of exhibiting was delightful to her, and she began her song. Elizabeth's eyes were fixed on her with most painful sensations; and she watched her progress through the several stanzas with an impatience which was very ill rewarded at their close; for Mary, on receiving amongst the thanks of the table, the hint of a hope that she might be prevailed on to favour them again, after the pause of half a minute began another. Mary's powers were by no means fitted for such a display; her voice was weak, and her manner affected. -- Elizabeth was in agonies. She looked at Jane, to see how she bore it; but Jane was very composedly talking to Bingley. She looked at his two sisters, and saw them making signs of derision at each other, and at Darcy, who continued however impenetrably grave. She looked at her father to entreat his interference, lest Mary should be singing all night. He took the hint, and when Mary had finished her second song, said aloud,
``That will do extremely well, child. You have delighted us long enough. Let the other young ladies have time to exhibit.''
Mary, though pretending not to hear, was somewhat disconcerted; and Elizabeth sorry for her, and sorry for her father's speech, was afraid her anxiety had done no good. -- Others of the party were now applied to.
``If I,'' said Mr. Collins, ``were so fortunate as to be able to sing, I should have great pleasure, I am sure, in obliging the company with an air; for I consider music as a very innocent diversion, and perfectly compatible with the profession of a clergyman. -- I do not mean however to assert that we can be justified in devoting too much of our time to music, for there are certainly other things to be attended to. The rector of a parish has much to do. -- In the first place, he must make such an agreement for tithes as may be beneficial to himself and not offensive to his patron. He must write his own sermons; and the time that remains will not be too much for his parish duties, and the care and improvement of his dwelling, which he cannot be excused from making as comfortable as possible. And I do not think it of light importance that he should have attentive and conciliatory manners towards every body, especially towards those to whom he owes his preferment. I cannot acquit him of that duty; nor could I think well of the man who should omit an occasion of testifying his respect towards any body connected with the family.''
And with a bow to Mr. Darcy, he concluded his speech, which had been spoken so loud as to be heard by half the room. -- Many stared. -- Many smiled; but no one looked more amused than Mr. Bennet himself, while his wife seriously commended Mr. Collins for having spoken so sensibly, and observed in a half-whisper to Lady Lucas, that he was a remarkably clever, good kind of young man.
To Elizabeth it appeared, that had her family made an agreement to expose themselves as much as they could during the evening, it would have been impossible for them to play their parts with more spirit, or finer success; and happy did she think it for Bingley and her sister that some of the exhibition had escaped his notice, and that his feelings were not of a sort to be much distressed by the folly which he must have witnessed.
That his two sisters however, should have such an opportunity of ridiculing her relations was bad enough, without the more personal shame she felt on Mr Darcy seeing such a display by her family. She could not determine whether the silent and steady gravity of the gentleman, or the insolent smiles of the ladies, upset her more.
The rest of the evening brought her little amusement. She was teazed by Mr. Collins, who continued most perseveringly by her side, and though he could not prevail with her to dance with him again, put it out of her power to dance with others. In vain did she entreat him to stand up with somebody else, and offer to introduce him to any young lady in the room. He assured her that as to dancing, he was perfectly indifferent to it; that his chief object was by delicate attentions to recommend himself to her, and that he should therefore make a point of remaining close to her the whole evening. There was no arguing upon such a project. She owed her greatest relief to her friend Miss Lucas, who often joined them, and good-naturedly engaged Mr. Collins's conversation to herself.
Mr Collinses perseverance though, seemed enough to deter Mr. Darcy's farther notice; though often standing within a very short distance of her, quite disengaged, he never came near enough to speak. She also was beginning to feel an whisper of uneasiness, when upon looking across to Darcy, she as often found him looking at Jane as herself.
The Longbourn party were the last of all the company to depart; and by a manoeuvre of Mrs. Bennet, had to wait for their carriages a quarter of an hour after every body else was gone, which gave them time to see how heartily they were wished away by some of the family. Mrs. Hurst and her sister scarcely opened their mouths except to complain of fatigue, and were evidently impatient to have the house to themselves. They repulsed every attempt of Mrs. Bennet at conversation, and by so doing, threw a languor over the whole party, which was very little relieved by the long speeches of Mr. Collins, who was complimenting Mr. Bingley and his sisters on the elegance of their entertainment, and the hospitality and politeness which had marked their behaviour to their guests.
Darcy said nothing at all, but seemed immovably grave and distracted by whatever he was going over in his mind. Mr. Bennet, in equal silence, was enjoying the scene. Mr. Bingley and Jane were standing together, a little detached from the rest, and talked only to each other. Elizabeth preserved as steady a silence as either Mrs. Hurst or Miss Bingley; and even Lydia was too much fatigued to utter more than the occasional exclamation of ``Lord how tired I am!'' accompanied by a violent yawn.
When at length they arose to take leave, Mrs. Bennet was most pressingly civil in her hope of seeing the whole family soon at Longbourn; and addressed herself particularly to Mr. Bingley, to assure him how happy he would make them by eating a family dinner with them at any time, without the ceremony of a formal invitation. Bingley was all grateful pleasure, and he readily engaged for taking the earliest opportunity of waiting on her, after his return from London, whither he was obliged to go the next day for a short time.
Mrs. Bennet was perfectly satisfied; and quitted the house under the delightful persuasion that, allowing for the necessary preparations of settlements, new carriages, and wedding clothes, she should undoubtedly see her daughter settled at Netherfield in the course of three or four months. Of having another daughter married to Mr. Collins, she thought with equal certainty, and with considerable, though not equal, pleasure. Elizabeth was the least dear to her of all her children; and though the man and the match were quite good enough for her, the worth of each was eclipsed by Mr. Bingley and Netherfield.
Chapter 12
If Elizabeth had reason to feel uncomfortable at the Netherfield ball, the new day brought no relief. Mr Collins made his declaration in form, and Elizabeth was left to deal with all the unpleasantness of making her refusal of marriage understood, over the man's inclination to believe such a response impossible. As if this had not been enough to deal with alone, her mother added to her mortification through also refusing to take no for an answer, leaving Elizabeth's only refuge in the, albeit somewhat eccentric, protection of her father, who soundly denied permission for such a marriage.
Not yet, however, in spite of her disappointment in her husband, did Mrs. Bennet give up the point. She talked to Elizabeth again and again; coaxed and threatened her by turns. She endeavoured to secure Jane in her interest but Jane with all possible mildness declined interfering; -- and Elizabeth, sometimes with real earnestness and sometimes with playful gaiety, replied to her attacks. Though her manner varied, however, her determination never did.
With the family in this state of confusion, Charlotte Lucas came to spend the day with them. She was met in the vestibule by Lydia, who, flying to her, cried in a half whisper, ``I am glad you are come, for there is such fun here! -- What do you think has happened this morning? -- Mr. Collins has made an offer to Lizzy, and she will not have him.''
Charlotte had hardly time to answer, before they were joined by Kitty, who came to tell the same news, and no sooner had they entered the breakfast-room, where Mrs. Bennet was alone, than she likewise began on the subject, calling on Miss Lucas for her compassion, and entreating her to persuade her friend Lizzy to comply with the wishes of all her family. ``Pray do, my dear Miss Lucas,'' she added in a melancholy tone, ``for nobody is on my side, nobody takes part with me, I am cruelly used, nobody feels for my poor nerves.''
Charlotte's reply was spared by the entrance of Jane and Elizabeth.
``Aye, there she comes,'' continued Mrs. Bennet, ``looking as unconcerned as may be, and caring no more for us than if we were at York, provided she can have her own way. -- But I tell you what, Miss Lizzy, if you take it into your head to go on refusing every offer of marriage in this way, you will never get a husband at all -- and I am sure I do not know who is to maintain you when your father is dead. -- I shall not be able to keep you -- and so I warn you. -- I have done with you from this very day. -- I told you in the library, you know, that I should never speak to you again, and you will find me as good as my word. I have no pleasure in talking to undutiful children, -- Not that I have much pleasure indeed in talking to any body. People who suffer as I do from nervous complaints can have no great inclination for talking. Nobody can tell what I suffer! -- But it is always so. Those who do not complain are never pitied.''
Her daughters listened in silence to this effusion, sensible that any attempt to reason with or soothe her would only increase the irritation. She talked on, therefore, without interruption from any of them till they were joined by Mr. Collins, who entered with an air more stately than usual, and on perceiving whom, she said to the girls,
``Now, I do insist upon it, that you, all of you, hold your tongues, and let Mr. Collins and me have a little conversation together.''
Elizabeth passed quietly out of the room, Jane and Kitty followed, but Lydia stood her ground, determined to hear all she could; and Charlotte, detained first by the civility of Mr. Collins, whose inquiries after herself and all her family were very minute, and then by a little curiosity, satisfied herself with walking to the window and pretending not to hear. In a doleful voice Mrs. Bennet thus began the projected conversation. -- ``Oh! Mr. Collins!'' -
Before she could continue however, a long, proud, but somehow obsequious speech followed from Mr Collins, the content of which finally laid all of Mrs Bennet's hope to rest.
THE discussion of Mr. Collins's offer was now nearly at an end, and Elizabeth had only to suffer from the uncomfortable feelings necessarily attending it, and occasionally from some peevish allusion of her mother. As for the gentleman himself, his feelings were chiefly expressed, not by embarrassment or dejection, or by trying to avoid her, but by stiffness of manner and resentful silence. He scarcely ever spoke to her, and the assiduous attentions which he had been so sensible of himself, were transferred for the rest of the day to Miss Lucas, whose civility in listening to him, was a seasonable relief to them all, and especially to her friend.
The morrow produced no abatement of Mrs. Bennet's ill humour or ill health. Mr. Collins was also in the same state of angry pride. Elizabeth had hoped that his resentment might shorten his visit, but his plan did not appear in the least affected by it. He was always to have gone on Saturday, and to Saturday he still meant to stay.
Some say that trouble comes in threes, and Elizabeth found herself inclined to believe there was truth in this saying, when a distressing letter was delivered to Miss Bennet.
On top of the happenings at the ball and Mr Collins's proposal, it almost seemed too much. As the missive came from Netherfield, it was opened immediately. The envelope contained a sheet of elegant, little, hot-pressed paper, well covered with a lady's fair, flowing hand; and Elizabeth saw her sister's countenance change as she read it, and saw her dwelling intently on some particular passages. Jane recollected herself soon, and putting the letter away, tried to join with her usual cheerfulness in the general conversation; but Elizabeth felt an anxiety on the subject which drew her attention, and she was quick to follow when a glance from Jane invited her to follow her up stairs. When they had gained their own room, Jane taking out the letter, said,
``This is from Caroline Bingley; what it contains, has surprised me a good deal. The whole party have left Netherfield by this time, and are on their way to town; and without any intention of coming back again. You shall hear what she says.''
She then read the first sentence aloud, which comprised the information of their having just resolved to follow their brother to town directly, and of their meaning to dine that day in Grosvenor street, where Mr. Hurst had a house. The next was in these words.
``I do not pretend to regret any thing I shall leave in Hertfordshire, except your society, my dearest friend; but we will hope at some future period, to enjoy many returns of the delightful intercourse we have known, and in the mean while may lessen the pain of separation by a very frequent and most unreserved correspondence. I depend on you for that.''
To these high flown expressions, Elizabeth listened with all the insensibility of distrust; and though the suddenness of their removal surprised her, she saw nothing in it to lament but the absence of Mr Darcy; it was not to be supposed that their absence from Netherfield would prevent Mr. Bingley's being there; and as to the loss of their society, she was persuaded that Jane must soon cease to regard it, in the enjoyment of his. Her own sense of loss concerning Mr Darcy, she did not wish to dwell on.
``It is unlucky,'' said she, after a short pause, ``that you should not be able to see your friends before they leave the country. But may we not hope that the period of future happiness to which Miss Bingley looks forward, may arrive earlier than she is aware, and that the delightful intercourse you have known as friends, will be renewed with yet greater satisfaction as sisters? -- Mr. Bingley will not be detained in London by them.''
``Caroline decidedly says that none of the party will return into Hertfordshire this winter. I will read it to you --''
````When my brother left us yesterday, he imagined that the business which took him to London, might be concluded in three or four days, but as we are certain it cannot be so, and at the same time convinced that when Charles gets to town he will be in no hurry to leave it again, we have determined on following him thither, that he may not be obliged to spend his vacant hours in a comfortless hotel. Many of my acquaintance are already there for the winter; I wish I could hear that you, my dearest friend, had any intention of making one in the crowd, but of that I despair. I sincerely hope your Christmas in Hertfordshire may abound in the gaieties which that season generally brings, and that your beaux will be so numerous as to prevent your feeling the loss of the three of whom we shall deprive you.''
``It is evident by this,'' added Jane, ``that he comes back no more this winter.''
``It is only evident that Miss Bingley does not mean he should.''
``Why will you think so? It must be his own doing. -- He is his own master. But you do not know all. I will read you the passage which particularly hurts me. I will have no reserves from you.''
````Mr. Darcy is impatient to see his sister, and to confess the truth, we are scarcely less eager to meet her again. I really do not think Georgiana Darcy has her equal for beauty, elegance, and accomplishments; and the affection she inspires in Louisa and myself is heightened into something still more interesting, from the hope we dare to entertain of her being hereafter our sister. I do not know whether I ever before mentioned to you my feelings on this subject, but I will not leave the country without confiding them, and I trust you will not esteem them unreasonable. My brother admires her greatly already, he will have frequent opportunity now of seeing her on the most intimate footing, her relations all wish the connection as much as his own, and a sister's partiality is not misleading me, I think, when I call Charles most capable of engaging any woman's heart. With all these circumstances to favour an attachment and nothing to prevent it, am I wrong, my dearest Jane, in indulging the hope of an event which will secure the happiness of so many?''
``What think you of this sentence, my dear Lizzy?'' -- said Jane as she finished it.
``Is it not clear enough? -- Does it not expressly declare that Caroline neither expects nor wishes me to be her sister; that she is perfectly convinced of her brother's indifference, and that if she suspects the nature of my feelings for him, she means (most kindly!) to put me on my guard? Can there be any other opinion on the subject?''
``Yes, there can; for mine is totally different. -- Will you hear it?''
``Most willingly.''
``You shall have it in few words. Miss Bingley sees that her brother is in love with you, and wants him to marry Miss Darcy. She follows him to town in the hope of keeping him there, and tries to persuade you that he does not care about you.''
Jane shook her head.
``Indeed, Jane, you ought to believe me. -- No one who has ever seen you together, can doubt his affection. Miss Bingley I am sure cannot. She is not such a simpleton. Could she have seen half as much love in Mr. Darcy for herself, she would have ordered her wedding clothes. But the case is this. We are not rich enough, or grand enough for them; and she is the more anxious to get Miss Darcy for her brother, from the notion that when there has been one intermarriage, she may have less trouble in achieving a second. But, my dearest Jane, you cannot seriously imagine that because Miss Bingley tells you her brother greatly admires Miss Darcy, he is in the smallest degree less sensible of your merit than when he took leave of you on Tuesday, or that it will be in her power to persuade him that instead of being in love with you, he is very much in love with her friend.''
``If we thought alike of Miss Bingley,'' replied Jane, ``your representation of all this, might make me quite easy. But I know the foundation is unjust. Caroline is incapable of wilfully deceiving any one; and all that I can hope in this case is, that she is deceived herself.''
``That is right. -- You could not have started a more happy idea, since you will not take comfort in mine. Believe her to be deceived by all means. You have now done your duty by her, and must fret no longer.''
``But, my dear sister, can I be happy, even supposing the best, in accepting a man whose sisters and friends are all wishing him to marry elsewhere?''
``You must decide for yourself,'' said Elizabeth, ``and if, upon mature deliberation, you find that the misery of disobliging his two sisters is more than equivalent to the happiness of being his wife, I advise you by all means to refuse him.''
``How can you talk so?'' -- said Jane faintly smiling, -- ``You must know that though I should be exceedingly grieved at their disapprobation, I could not hesitate.''
``I did not think you would; -- and that being the case, I cannot consider your situation with much compassion.''
``But if he returns no more this winter, my choice will never be required. A thousand things may arise in six months!''
The idea of his returning no more Elizabeth treated with the utmost contempt. It appeared to her merely the suggestion of Caroline's interested wishes, and she could not for a moment suppose that those wishes, however openly or artfully spoken, could influence a young man so totally independent of every one.
She represented to her sister as forcibly as possible what she felt on the subject, and had soon the pleasure of seeing its happy effect. Jane's temper was not desponding, and she was gradually led to hope, though the diffidence of affection sometimes overcame the hope, that Bingley would return to Netherfield and answer every wish of her heart.
They agreed that Mrs. Bennet should only hear of the departure of the family, without being alarmed on the score of the gentleman's conduct; but even this partial communication gave her a great deal of concern, and she bewailed it as exceedingly unlucky that the ladies should happen to go away, just as they were all getting so intimate together. After lamenting it however at some length, she had the consolation of thinking that Mr. Bingley would be soon down again and soon dining at Longbourn, and the conclusion of all was the comfortable declaration that, though he had been invited only to a family dinner, she would take care to have two full courses.
Chapter 13
Jane learned of his arrival as soon as might be possible, as he wasted no time in paying a visit to the Bennet household. He was received by Mrs Bennet with a degree of civility that caused her two older daughters to blush, but even Elizabeth was able to put aside her embarrassment, as she watched the increase in animation in her sister's countenance. The fears against which Jane had struggled for the last few days had proved unfounded - just as Elizabeth had said they would be - and the happiness she felt upon the assurance of his company, was too much for her to disguise, even under her usual mask of serenity.
Mr Bingley, though naturally possessed of a unaffected modesty, could not fail to discern that Miss Bennet felt real pleasure at his return, and the recognition of this gave him a great sense of relief. His sisters had just spent two days trying to convince him that Jane held him in no real esteem, simply tolerating his attentions for the sake of his wealth and a desire to be well settled. Despite rejecting their opinion of Jane as mistaken, until he actually experienced Jane's reaction to his presence, he had been unable to feel completely at ease.
He'd received some earlier relief from his concerns though, on talking the matter through with his friend. Mr Darcy had refused to offer an opinion on Jane's feelings, saying he simply did not know her well enough to make such a assessment.
"I'm afraid it is difficult to comprehend the heart of one who is naturally reserved," he had offered. "I believe however, that you know her far better than any of us, and as your decision primarily effects yourself, it might be appropriate to trust your own judgement on the matter."
That simple statement had decided Bingley, and though his friend had gone on to point out the social and fiscal disadvantages of an alignment with the Bennet family, such considerations could mean nothing to him above his own belief that Jane did, in fact, care for him.
The Longbourn party remained a while in the drawing room until Mrs Bennet, wanting to ensure everything would be perfect for dinner, shoed the young people out for a walk. Mary, disliking exercise, took with herself a volume and quickly found a corner of the garden in which to read, the two younger girls spied some officers, and abandoned their sisters just as quickly, leaving Elizabeth, Jane and Bingley to walk alone.
Bingley, feeling a freedom at this release from the more difficult members of the Bennet family gave the older girls a genuine smile and offered his arms to his fair companions. Jane, still feeling a little overwhelmed in her happiness at his return, accepted gratefully, but Elizabeth politely declined, protesting that she did not easily fatigue, and walked a little apart from the couple. She found though that a silence seemed to have fallen over her companions, which she correctly put down to a self-consciousness, and she took it upon herself to ask the question she knew would be burning in her sister's mind, not to mention a question which was pressing in her own.
"Mr Bingley," she began, "the pleasure at you company today is enhanced by it not being totally expected. A letter Jane received from your sister implied that it was improbable that you would return before the end of winter."
"Caroline may have believed she was representing the truth when she was writing the letter," Mr Bingley turned a shade of red upon answering, "but I'm afraid her assumption was incorrect. I did not know she had written to you Miss Bennet."
"Yes, she sent me some correspondence upon leaving Netherfield," Jane replied, feeling distress anew upon recalling what the letter had suggested.
Just looking at Jane's discomfort, Bingley began to have some suspicions as to the content of the letter, and though he knew Jane would be reluctant to inform him of anything his sister may have done to upset her, he hoped that he might be able to find out the purport of the letter from Elizabeth at a later time. Right now though, all he could seek to do was to reassure her.
"My sister has a great enjoyment of he town, and also a tendency to impute her own feelings on subjects to people other than herself," he explained. "She no doubt reasoned that I would desire to remain in London like herself, but I'm afraid that the attractions of Hertfordshire were far to great to make me wish to do so."
He said this with such a meaningful look in Jane's direction that Elizabeth could not but wish herself elsewhere, and she determined that she would make her escape, but not before venturing one more question.
"Is Mr Darcy to also remain in town?" she asked in a manner which she hoped appeared casual.
"Yes, he is pleased to be able to spend more time with his sister," Bingley replied, not knowing he was giving pain, "and I do not expect to see him until..." he stopped himself as he almost said 'my wedding', "... for some time," he finished, a little embarrassed.
Elizabeth repressed the stab of disappointment, and giving the excuse of having promised to visit Charlotte, she left the couple to the most natural and right resolution of their friendship.
~/~
Darcy was breakfasting with Georgiana in his London town house, when the letter he'd been expecting from Bingley arrived. It seemed uncharacteristically long, which Darcy covertly rejoiced in, for though he had deliberately separated himself from Elizabeth Bennet, so much of him still yearned to hear of her spoken of. In a missive of this size, he reasoned, there must be some intelligence of her.
He excused himself from the table and removed himself to the library in order to be free of distractions, and couldn't help but smile as the force of Bingley's ecstasy hit him full on.
My Dear friend,
the letter began, in a hand which, though lacking in uniformity of style, and marred by the occasional blurring of the ink, was really quite intelligible.
I now feel completely satisfied that my sisters were deceived in thinking her indifferent, as I have been able to receive assurances that her regard for me has been growing ever since our meeting on that night at the Meryton assembly, and for some time has been quite fixed. She tells me there were occasions during my short absence where she was quite despondent in missing my company, and I shudder to think of those moments during my time in London when my sisters almost had me convinced she did not love me. The pain I might have inflicted had I not returned, would have been unforgivable indeed, and I want to thank you now for encouraging me to follow my own understanding. You cannot imagine the joy I'm experiencing as I write to tell you that I have been accepted and am in no doubt of Jane's reciprocal happiness and affection. If you believed she smiled to much upon our first association, you had better stay away for the moment, as her beautiful smile is even more open and ever present.
Darcy moved uncomfortably in his seat as he knew how close he had come to taking the part of the sisters. If it had not been for Elizabeth's inadvertent comment regarding Sir William's interruption, he may very well have seen things in the same way as Caroline and Louisa. Being awakened though, to the idea of Jane's reserve, he had taken opportunities over the rest of the evening to observe her behaviour toward Bingley, and had found himself unconvinced of her emotional indifference, or otherwise, and was unable to honestly offer an opinion on the subject. Given too, how freely he had told Bingley of his reservations regarding the inferior standing of the Bennet family, his friends thanks seemed oddly generous... but that was Bingley.
The timing of our engagement too, has provided certain relief and distraction to members of the family, particularly Miss Elizabeth who, my dear Jane informs me, has been the recipient of unreasonable chastisement from her mother since turning down a proposal herself. It seems that the Reverend Collins made an offer on the morning after the ball, and amazingly would not accept that Miss Elizabeth might not want him. I could not help but laugh when I heard the denouement of the situation, with Mrs Bennet apparently calling her daughter before her husband insisting that he make her marry Mr Collins, stating she would never see her again if she did not. Mr Bennet it seems offered Miss Elizabeth an unhappy alternative - saying from that day forward she would have to be stranger to one of her parents, as her mother would not see her again if she didn't marry Mr Collins, and he would not see her again if she did.
Darcy laughed aloud at such a description of absurdity.
The strangest thing is that we have just found that Mr Collins has engaged Miss Lucas to himself, only days after proclaiming undying love to Miss Elizabeth Bennet. My sister-to-be is quite saddened by the situation, not through any sense of loss as regards Mr Collins of course, but through disappointment that Miss Lucas could make such a choice. My Jane, finding it almost impossible to believe that anyone could marry without affection, is ready to believe Miss Lucas must feel something like regard and esteem for her cousin, but I'm inclined to side with the sister in this matter, and believe her friend is making a terrible sacrifice for the sake of being well settled.
This observation of Jane's goodness naturally led to Bingley launching into a full page panegyric on the virtues of his bride to be, which left Darcy both amused and almost jealous. Bingley then followed with an open invitation for him to return to Netherfield, reiterating too, that Georgiana would also be most welcome, and ended with a request that Darcy stand up for him at the wedding.
The letter left Darcy in a turmoil of thoughts. He had to feel happy for his friend because it was now obvious that this match was truly one of mutual affection, and any misgivings in regard to her family must take a second seat to such a consideration. His confusion of mind rather related to the strength of his feelings toward Miss Elizabeth Bennet. The letter had more than answered his hopes of gaining some intelligence of her but, rather than satisfying a curiosity, it had instead stirred the flame of his longing. The strength of revulsion he had felt upon his reading of Mr Collins's proposal, had surprised him, and as he'd felt no corresponding emotion on learning of Miss Lucas's engagement, he knew it was more to do with his attraction to Elizabeth than his disdain for the man involved.
Still, he knew he must fight his feelings, and reminded himself again of the disparity in their situations. He had intentionally removed himself from her company, and he knew he now needed to put her out of his mind. Though he acknowledged he could not avoid the wedding, he determined that his stay in Hertfordshire would be short, and in the meantime - he decided - he would involve himself fully in the London season, reasoning that there would have to be a woman of society somewhere, who could help him leave all thoughts of Elizabeth Bennet behind.
Chapter 14
Sleep had overtaken Georgiana as the coach made it's way toward Netherfield, finally giving Darcy the opportunity for silent contemplation. The last two months spent in London had been full but, paradoxically, very empty. He had entered into the season with an unprecedented openness, which had not failed to attract attention as it was whispered that this very eligible man had obviously decided the time had come to marry.
The whispers became so loud they were even heard by Lady Catherine of Rosings, Kent, who though dismissing them as 'nonsense', could not do so without feeling some pangs of concern regarding her planned establishment for her daughter.
Lady Catherine was not the only one to experience concern at Darcy's behaviour. Caroline Bingley was watching his changed manner with a desperate alarm. The relief she had felt upon his removal from the company of Miss Elizabeth Bennet, had been overwhelmed upon witnessing his willingness to meet with, talk to, and solicit dances from, every young, hopeful and single woman of the ton. She would, in fact, have preferred they were back with the Bennets in Hertfordshire, as she felt an underlying certainty that, unlike her brother, Mr Darcy would never stoop to align himself with this family. She could have no such comfort though, regarding the women of the ton.
~/~
Darcy sighed as he looked back upon his search for a suitable woman over the preceding months. The whole exercise had simply left him feeling hollow, and he was reminded of the words of Solomon, "Vanity of vanities... all is vanity". Some of the women he'd met had impressed him as being self absorbed and grasping; others had come across as overly compliant, too ready to agree, and too quick to please; many had been vacant and insipid; and a few had even been outrageously forward. A number though, had been pretty and pleasant girls with good humour and excellent connections, but Darcy had found himself unable to feel enthused at the prospect of forwarding a relationship with any of them, and though thoughts of another woman tried to intrude into his contemplations, but he pushed them aside.
He may have been more unsettled had he known the woman of whom he refused to think, was currently just 5 miles away at Netherfield, aiding her sister in making some decisions in regard to the décor of certain rooms. Bingley had insisted that his future wife put her stamp on what would soon be their home.
Elizabeth was trying to hurry matters on a little, as she was very keen to depart before the expected arrival of Bingley's visitors. The time she'd spent with Darcy during his previous visit to Hertfordshire, and particularly at the Netherfield ball, had fixed him in her mind as a man she could not only esteem, but as one to whom she could relate on a deeper level. An attraction had formed despite her wariness, and though she had seen, and accepted in her mind, that he would never pursue such an unequal match, she could not help but be disappointed - even hurt - by his making this thoroughly clear through his continued absence.
It had taken her some time, but she had resolved she would not be unhappy over him, that she would treat him simply as a friendly acquaintance at the wedding, but not seek out his company otherwise over the few days he was to spend in the area. She might not hold as privileged position in fashionable society as he, but she still had her pride, and she was determined that he discern neither eagerness, nor disappointment in her behaviour toward him.
Finally accepting that Jane seemed unlikely to be finished soon, Elizabeth announced her intention to walk home, using as an excuse that she was needed by her mother. The matter could not be resolved simply though, as Jane expressed concern over Elizabeth leaving her with the Bennet carriage, and Bingley began to offer her the use of his own, and by the time Elizabeth made them understand she would take neither, and was more than happy to walk, more precious time had passed. She finally made it to the front steps with a sense of relief, and happily saying farewell to Jane, she skipped down the steps ready to be on her way... it was only then she discerned the newly arrived stately carriage, only a matter of yards away, with its owner standing alongside.
As they'd pulled into the drive of Netherfield, My Darcy had allowed himself one consolation, which was that his two months absence, and his rational determination, must have at least have given him some immunity to the charms of Elizabeth Bennet. As he stepped out of the carriage, ready to hand his recently awoken sister down, her heard some soft feminine voices and turned to find Lizzy bidding a laughing farewell to her sister whilst almost dancing down the entryway stairs... and he realised he was wrong, very wrong.
Elizabeth felt at a huge loss for the moment, but was given time to compose herself, as Bingley appeared and instantly moved to greet and welcome his friend. She knew that as much as she wanted to leave Netherfield there and then, such an option was no longer open to her, and she resigned herself to the fact that she would have to make the time for a few polite pleasantries before excusing herself.
She stood back with Jane as the men made their initial re-acquaintance, and Darcy gave Bingley his congratulations in person. Darcy then handed out Georgiana, whom both the sisters viewed with interest, particularly given the implications of Caroline's letter. She was a tall girl, pretty, but not as striking in looks as her brother, neither did she appear to have his confidence, something in her demeanour showing an edge of insecurity. She was greeted by Bingley with a brotherly affection, but neither Elizabeth or Jane could discern anything, on either side, that spoke of particular regard.
Mr Darcy soon approached the Bennet sisters, and cordially offered all his best wishes to Jane in regard to the wedding, then moved to Elizabeth with a polite good morning, before introducing his sister to them both; all the while fighting to appear natural before Elizabeth, despite his longing to draw her aside and give her his particular notice.
A short exchange with Miss Darcy soon confirmed her shyness to Jane and Elizabeth, but it the also revealed to them that this young girl had a grace about her, and also an unassuming gentleness and good humour in her manner. They liked her immediately and both, conscious of her discomfiture, set about making her feel more at ease in their company. Darcy watched this exchange, feeling a warmth of gratitude toward these two young women at their care of his sister. The girls chattered on for a few minutes, and Darcy, despite ostensibly conversing with Bingley, had only half his attention on this exchange as he tried to overhear what the girls were speaking of.
Bingley though, lost all of Darcy's notice upon this comment by Miss Elizabeth.
"I'm am glad you have arrived now Miss Darcy," she smiled, "as I'm sure that Jane will not only appreciate your company, but your opinion. I am just now leaving for home, but was despairing of Jane ever making any decisions without the approval of another woman. She is far to diffident about her own taste, though it is, in fact, excellent."
"It is not that am unable to choose," Jane protested with a laugh. "I simply prefer to confirm my ideas with another. My sister is right Miss Darcy, I will be very grateful for both your company, and your suggestions this afternoon."
"You are leaving now Miss Bennet?" Darcy asked of Elizabeth. "I do not see your carriage."
"Oh, it is currently in Mr Bingley's stables," Elizabeth replied, unable to miss what might be disappointment at her departing so soon. "I intend to walk home."
"She has been pressed to take either her family carriage, or my own," Bingley put in, "but she seemed determined not to put anyone to the trouble of sending for the horses and of setting things up again, just for a short trip."
"Well in that case Miss Bennet," Darcy suggested, "you must allow me to offer you the use of my own transport, as it is right here and ready."
"Thank you Mr Darcy, but I'm sure after a trip from London, that both your driver and the horses are looking forward to a rest."
"I'm sure a few more miles would not signify," Darcy said with assurance, " Would they Martin?" He addressed to his driver.
"It would be my very real pleasure to drive you home Miss," Martin replied with a genuine smile, impressed that this young woman would consider his feelings on the subject.
Elizabeth looked around her, and realising her options were to graciously accept the offer, or to go through a rehash of the argument she had not long before finished with Jane and Bingley, gave her assent to the offer. She almost wished though, that she had her insisted on maintaining her original plan, as not Martin, but Mr Darcy himself, came to walk her to the carriage, and personally took her hand to assist her inside, perhaps holding it for that little longer than was necessary. He held her eye as he asked after her comfort, before stepping back to close the door.
The carriage began to move off, and Elizabeth let out a little moan as she lent back against the seat, her eyes closed.
Why? she asked herself, realising her hand was still tingling from his touch, why if he does not want me, does he have to treat me with such solicitous kindness? Why can't he be more like the man I thought he was when he first came to Hertfordshire?
It was going to a difficult few days... for them both.
Chapter 15
Author's Note: One of my biggest peeves with the casting of P&P2 was that of Mr and Mrs Gardiner. In the novel we have a couple whom Darcy can easily mistake for people of fashion, who have four little kids, the oldest of whom is eight, so I don't know what they were thinking when they cast a very, very middle aged couple for the role. It always seems to me very wrong indeed, paricularly when Jane Austen describes Mrs Gardiner as several years younger than her sisters-in-law. Please indulge me by pushing that P&P2 image of the Gardiners out of your mind when you read this, and think of a fashionable younger couple instead.
The following afternoon found Elizabeth, after avoiding a social gathering at which Mr Darcy might be present, sitting in her room, again flicking through the novel he had lent her at the Netherfield ball. It was a beautiful volume, leather bound and soft to the touch. Regardless of its gold edging and the illumination of the first word in each chapter, the volume somehow seemed very masculine - not only in appearance, but in its touch, smell, and substance. It reminded her very much of its owner, immaculately presented, tightly bound, rich without ostentation, and with a content which, though subtle, was also challenging and intelligent.
She had read the volume twice during the past few months, and had picked it up on numerous other occasions to re-read some favourite passages, or simply to hold it. She turned again to the first leaf and ran her finger across the tender inscription hand written by Georgiana to her brother, expressing heartfelt gratitude and love, for all he continued to do, and to be, for her. Elizabeth closed the book quickly as a few tears threatened to form in her eyes, and she placed it back on her night stand.
She was very touched that he would entrust her with a volume so valuable, both financially and sentimentally, and she was also flattered that he'd expected her to understand and enjoy, what might be considered by many, a rather demanding work. She was going to find it difficult to part with that evening, but she knew that the dinner gathering at Longbourn would be the most appropriate time for the book's return to its owner.
A sigh escaped her lips, as her thoughts turned in another direction and she mused on how cowardly she felt hiding away at home, when she could be out enjoying company and the excitement in anticipation of the wedding. Still, she knew staying away from Darcy was the wise thing to do; she liked him too much - was too effected by him - to want to spend any more time than necessary in his company. She was no simpleton, and she knew very well that the prolonged absence, without even a word of farewell, was a clear indication that he could not consider Elizabeth as a potential partner - despite his being drawn to her - and she was not about to encourage false hopes, or make herself appear foolish, through vain attempts at pursuit.
She suddenly stood up from her bed, and chastised herself for moping instead of looking for activity. There was much she could do to be of use in these two days before the wedding, and it would clear her mind of thoughts of this gentleman. She would not be unhappy over him... she would not be unhappy over him...
~/~
Darcy retreated once more to the library, the pleasantness of the preceding afternoon spent simply with Georgiana, Charles and Jane, forgotten as the house had been taken over by the arrival of the Hursts and Miss Bingley, a visit from four of the five Bennet girls, and a group of officers from the nearby regiment. The noise and the effort of remaining civil in such company had become oppressive to him, particularly given the attention that Miss Bingley was again subjecting him to, and her return to her subtle snide comments regarding Elizabeth.
At least the concern which he had felt upon hearing that Charles had invited officers for the afternoon, had been quickly alleviated after asking his friend about Wickham. He had brought Georgiana with him in the belief that he could protect her from running across Wickham in the few days spent a Hertfordshire, and thankfully he found his fears to the contrary quieted upon Bingley assuring him that Wickham would not be one of the guests.
"We see very little of Wickham at all," Bingley had told him. "You know, on first being introduced to him, not long after my engagement, I had the impression that he was rather partial to Miss Elizabeth..."
"What was it that made you think so," Darcy had asked before Charles had a chance to continue, unable to keep a note of apprehension from his voice.
"Oh, nothing out of the ordinary, he'd look for opportunities to seat himself by her, or commend her appearance and opinions... I particularly thought it was the case when he separated himself from our group in order to follow her outside when she left to read in the garden. I'm not sure exactly what went on, but they were not gone long - and the rest of the visit was passed with the appearance, on his side, of his usual cheerfulness - but I couldn't help note that there was no farther attempt to distinguish Elizabeth."
"Did you ever find out any of what was said between them?"
"No, but it's hard not to be curious, because from that day on Wickham seems to have made it point not to avoid the company of the Bennets, and also of myself... I assume due to my close association with that household."
As he sat in the Library Darcy found he had very little attention for his book, and caught himself smiling as he recalled this exchange with Charles, and the pleasure he'd felt in knowing that Elizabeth must have defended him to Wickham; knowing that even Wickham's smooth ways and silver tongue had not swayed her belief and acceptance of his own side of the story... of which she only knew part.
He pulled himself up as he realised he was thinking of Elizabeth yet again. Surely he should be able to find peace from the image of her. If he was this bad when she was not even present, how would he cope with this evening when she'd be in his range of sight and within his hearing. Look at how he'd reacted yesterday afternoon, despite all intentions to remain only distantly friendly. He'd simply not been able to help paying her particular attention, and even in the polite act of handing her into the carriage, he knew he'd held her hand too long. In fact, she was lucky he didn't swing himself into the carriage to accompany her home, as he'd been inclined to do...
Stop thinking of her man! he told himself yet again, and he tried to make himself attend to his book again. He was almost successful until a traitorous little part of his mind recalled that this was just where he'd been sitting that Saturday morning when he'd found himself alone in the library with Elizabeth, and he was once more lost...
~/~
That evening Darcy might have been tempted to stay at Netherfield had not the Hursts and Miss Bingley declined the Bennet's invitation to dine, with the excuse that they were fatigued after their travel from London that day, and apart from this, Georgiana was keen to continue the friendships she had begun to form.
Given his sisters' snide remarks on trade throughout the day, and on the status of Bennet relations who were expected to be in attendance, Bingley was happy to leave them behind. He had met the Gardiners over Christmas, and had found them remarkably good company, and looked forward to renewing the acquaintance.
Darcy, feeling the need to clear his mind and prepare himself to be in the company of Elizabeth, decided that - as the night was well lit by a full moon - he would decline travelling in the carriage and instead ride, using his solitude to steel his resolve, and convince himself to practise an appropriate detachment toward the woman who managed to distract him so severely.
He arrived at the Bennet household with an almost grim determination, and in his manner Elizabeth immediately detected a return to the man she had first seen at the Meryton assembly. He spoke very little, and showed only a cold politeness to those around him. After greeting Elizabeth in no more than a cursory manner, he moved to the other side of the room, where after being introduced to Mr Gardiner, he did no more than simply attend to the conversation between her Uncle and Mr Bingley, adding very little himself, as though the company was beneath him.
On observing his behaviour Elizabeth felt both a confirmation of her understanding of how things stood between herself and Mr Darcy, and a sadness that it must be so, and she determined, once again, to think of him no more. She turned her thoughts instead to Georgiana, who was looking a little out of place, and moved quickly to her side to take her under her wing for the evening, knowing very well that Jane would be more occupied in her position of honour during the evening, and not trusting her younger sisters with the responsibility of sensitively attending to the needs of such a shy girl.
Try as he might Darcy was unable to keep his eyes from being drawn toward Elizabeth and his little sister. He could not hear their conversation, but as the evening wore on he could see Georgiana talking more, and would find himself smiling as he occasionally heard her giggle at something Elizabeth had said. He would then have to remind himself of his determined resolve, and would try and attend again to the conversation of his companions.
Though he added little, he was actually caught by the intelligent discussion going on between Mr Gardiner and Mr Bennet, to whom Bingley had quickly abandoned him as he'd as he'd left to seek the company of Jane. The fact that Mr Gardiner was Mrs Bennet's brother has surprised Darcy no end. His features were handsome in a similar way to Mrs Bennet's, though with a definitely masculine bent. He was obviously far more informed than his older sister, and spoke with humour, and common sense. Darcy felt it was almost a shame that he was a man of trade which meant they would move in very different circles, as he would have otherwise liked to further the acquaintance. Mr Bennet too, was more communicative and less eccentric that evening. He was obviously happy over Jane's match, and enjoying the sound company of his brother-in-law.
It also helped that Mrs Bennet was somewhat restrained that evening. Mr Darcy could not help but notice that Mrs Gardiner managed to have a remarkably calming effect on her. Darcy looked with an increasing respect upon this fashionable woman, not too many years his senior, who seemed to have just the right words or observations to keep the older woman in check.
The distraction of having Elizabeth in the room though, only left Darcy half attention to the things happening around him, and gave the whole evening an indeterminable slowness, as he struggled to hold his feelings in check. He envied his sister's position beside Elizabeth, but feared to join her when the men returned to the women after Brandy. Mr Gardiner had noticed that Darcy had loosened up somewhat when away from the women, and had held a quite an enjoyable conversation with the man, but his aloof reserve seemed to resurface when back in mixed company.
"That Mr Darcy is an odd one," Mr Bennet commented to his bother-in law when they were outside his hearing. "He actually has the power to be quite pleasant, but practises it very little."
"Yes, he does seem a little hot and cold," Mr Gardiner smiled, thinking of the irony of such a statement coming from Mr Bennet, "but I've the impression that he's suffering a little from pre-occupation. Have you noticed how often he looks at our Lizzy?"
"No, I've not noticed..." Mr Bennet replied, suddenly very interested indeed, "but if he is taken by Lizzy he shows remarkably good taste, and certainly has risen in my esteem."
Elizabeth was more successful than Darcy in keeping her mind on her company for the evening. She had enjoyed drawing Georgiana a little from her shell, and had found much to interest her in what the young woman had to say of her home, of her life, and also of her brother. What Georgiana had to say of him though, sometimes seemed incongruous with his behaviour that night, particularly as Elizabeth would look up to find the brother observing them in a grave manner, and as she would note how distant he seemed from her father than uncle.
She knew not whether it was a relief or a vexation that he did not seek out her company, but remembering her own determination to remain separate from him, decided it would be perverse to be irritated. Once or twice in during the course of the evening he did appear to be moving in her direction, but she herself slipped away, only recalling as the Bennets were finally farewelling their guests, that she had not returned the book. It seemed the perfect opportunity to return it at this point, as he wouldn't have time to do more than accept it and leave, so dashing up stairs she grabbed the novel, and arrived back at the front door in time to see her family walk back to the sitting room, and just as Darcy was walking away into the brisk night air.
"Mr Darcy," she called to him, and found her heart skip a little as he turned to come back to her. "I have been remiss in not returning this to you earlier."
"Thank you Miss Bennet," he replied, still impenetrably serious, "I meant to ask how you found it, but we did not have the opportunity of speaking this evening."
Rather than taking the volume though, he took Elizabeth's arm, and led her back into the shelter of the foyer.
"Aren't you keeping your sister and Mr Bingley waiting?" Elizabeth asked in alarm over the sensations again created by his touch.
"Not at all Miss Bennet. I actually rode over tonight," Darcy answered, avoiding the little voice in the back of his mind saying he should leave straight away, and instead listening to the one which told him it couldn't hurt just to talk to her for a few short minutes. "Did you enjoy the book?"
"I did very much Mr Darcy," she answered, wishing that her family had not retreated so quickly into the warmth of the main part of the house. She felt very vulnerable standing alone with this man in the entryway, and the smile he gave her upon her answer, made her feel even more unprotected.
Upon his opening a discussion on certain aspects of the novel though, she forgot much of her insecurity as she entered into the world of the characters, and the circumstances of the book, in a way that could not disguise her interest. As absorbed in the discussion as Darcy was, it was only discerning Elizabeth shiver a little with the cold, that pulled him back to the real world, and on examining his watch he noticed that they had been talking for almost half an hour.
"I'm very sorry, Miss Bennet, that I've been keeping you when you must have been long desiring my departure. I'm afraid I was so caught up in our conversation that I failed to notice how unprotected you are against the cold."
"It is quite alright Mr Darcy," she replied, unaware that a little smile reflected in her eyes as she mused that her discomfort came very much from something quite apart from the temperature, and in fact, until he had mentioned it she had been almost oblivious to the cold. "Though I do believe you should be on your way, or Mr Bingley will be sending out a search party."
Elizabeth thought she heard him curse slightly under his breath at the thought, and he agreed with her, as she put out her hand to pass him the volume she was still holding. Perhaps he was distracted by looking at her eyes, or possibly his mind was on the concern his late return might create at Netherfield, but whatever the cause, he did not fully attend to what he was doing as he accepted the book, and he placed his strong warm hand partly over Elizabeth's petite one.
The fact that Elizabeth did not immediately pull away, neither with her eyes, nor with her hand, momentarily delighted Darcy, but then they both seemed to remember themselves, and Elizabeth dropped her face, as Darcy mumbled an incoherent apology and took the book. It was all he could do to leave when every thing in him cried out take that precious little chin and tilt her face back toward him so he might claim a parting kiss from those inviting lips, even more red tonight with the cold...
A quick farewell and he was gone, very glad of the briskness in the air as he rode away from Elizabeth, and back toward Netherfield.