The Beginning, Next Section
Chapter 1
She could not think of Darcy's leaving Kent without remembering that his cousin was to go with him; but Colonel Fitzwilliam had made it clear that he had no intentions at all, and agreeable as he was, she did not mean to be unhappy about him. While settling this point, she was suddenly roused by the sound of the door bell, and her spirits were a little fluttered by the idea of its being Colonel Fitzwilliam himself, who had once before called late in the evening, and might now come to enquire particularly after her.
She was not disappointed, for moments later, in walked the Colonel. He bowed and in an hurried manner he immediately began an enquiry after her health, imputing his visit to a wish of hearing that she were better. She smiled and said that she did feel much improved, and had merely been reading through some old letters. He seemed somewhat agitated, and she was unsure of how to react to him. She invited him to sit down, and set the example by sitting down herself. He paced around the room a bit more, sat down briefly, then rose again. He looked at her from across the room for several seconds, then took a deep breath and approached her.
"Miss Bennet, do you recall that this afternoon I said to you that the second son of an earl cannot marry where he likes?" Elizabeth blushed; did he think her headache was caused by disappointment over him?
"I do sir," she replied confusedly. He studied her carefully, then suddenly dropped to his knees in front of her and took her hand.
"I have been trying to convince myself of the truth of that statement since I first met you. However, with each passing day, I find it more difficult to justify losing you in order to live a life of luxury in a marriage of convenience. When I am near you, I get a glimpse of what my life could be with you by my side, and the strength of my feelings for you have overcome every objection. I cannot offer you an estate in the country, a townhouse, fine gowns and carriages, but I can offer you a comfortable home and my undying love and devotion. Miss Bennet ...Elizabeth, please be my wife." This was a surprise indeed to Elizabeth, who had already prepared herself to forget him. She looked down at his handsome face, a look of apprehension giving it an irresistible charm. Before opening her mouth to reply, she examined her heart.
She did not love him as she had always hoped to be able to love her husband. However, she did feel very warmly towards him; she was certainly quite attracted to him, and they did complement each other well. And then there were more material concerns; as much as she hated to admit it, Mr. Collins was right: she may never receive another proposal. If she married into such a noble line, the chances of her sisters finding husbands were greatly increased, and perhaps Darcy would even allow Bingley to court Jane again. Still, she felt a nagging feeling, like something was missing. The question was, would the benefits of this marriage balance or outweigh that one negative? She considered Fitzwilliam's good qualities, and decided that in time she could probably learn to love him, for she was pretty much on her way to doing so anyway. She took a deep breath and spoke.
"Colonel Fitzwilliam, I thank you for your proposal and would be happy to accept your hand." He closed his eyes and breathed a sigh of relief. Her long silence had made him nervous, but he had been rewarded by the answer he wished to hear above all things. Smiling, he fervently kissed her hands.
"Thank you, Elizabeth! You have made me the happiest of men!" He rose to his feet and lifted her up with him. "I go to London in two days, but when you return to Hertfordshire I will follow you and apply to your father, if that meets your approval." She consented to the plan, and he gave her the direction for Darcy's townhouse, where he would be staying, so she could write to inform him of her arrival at Longbourn. For the sake of propriety, he left soon after, but not without first giving her a lingering kiss to seal the engagement. It left her with a light head and a silly grin long after the door had closed behind him. Any concerns momentarily forgotten, she sat down to write a joyful letter to Jane.
Fitzwilliam mounted his horse and galloped all the way back to Rosings with a smile stuck on his face. When he reached the stables, he gave the horse over to one of the hands (I say one, for there were several) and whistled his way to the library where he knew he would find Darcy. Sure enough, his cousin was there hiding from his Aunt's attentions and Mr. Collins' idiocy. Darcy looked up and saw Fitzwilliam looking almost Bingley-like the way he was grinning foolishly. Oh Lord, what has he done this time? he groaned inwardly, thinking of Fitzwilliam's many practical jokes of the past.
"You seem bursting to tell me something Fitzwilliam," he said dryly. "May I ask what it is?" Fitzwilliam smiled even more widely and slapped Darcy on the shoulder.
"I will tell you what you can do, Darce. You can congratulate me; I am engaged to be married!" Darcy nearly choked on his brandy. ENGAGED?! No, this cannot be, please tell me it isn't so...
"And who is the lucky lady?" he asked cautiously, fearful of the response.
"Miss Elizabeth Bennet!" Fitzwilliam replied joyfully. Darcy's heart sank to the pit of his stomach, and he thought sure that he would be ill. Quickly, though, the nausea turned to anger, and then rage, and before he knew what he was doing, his fist connected with Colonel Fitzwilliam's nose.
"What the-? What do you think you're doing man?" Fitzwilliam yelled. Darcy stared at his own fist with an open mouth.
"I'm ... I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me," he replied in a daze. The anger was gone, and in its place was a look of pain and longing. Suddenly Fitzwilliam had a realization.
"You love her don't you?" he asked quietly. Darcy's head snapped up.
"What?" he snapped. "Excuse me," and with that, hurriedly left the room. Fitzwilliam shook his head sadly.
"You will forgive me Darcy ... but this time I will not place others ahead of myself. This time I will act in a manner that will constitute my happiness!"
Darcy, meanwhile, was already in his chamber thrashing everything in sight. How DARE he? Elizabeth is MINE, I was to propose to her, WE are to live happily ever after! She is meant to be MY wife! Not his ... not his ... For the first time since his father's death, Fitzwilliam Darcy wept.
The following day brought Colonel Fitzwilliam back to the parsonage to visit Elizabeth, but unlike his usual habit, he did not bring Darcy with him. This was soon explained by the news that his cousin had left suddenly for town, an urgent matter of business having come to his attention. Elizabeth thought it strange, but did not care to dwell on it since Mr. Darcy's absence was a welcome relief to her. Fitzwilliam seemed somewhat more serious than usual, so Elizabeth proposed a walk to try to discover why he was out of spirits. He accepted, and the two of them headed towards the grove, her hand on his arm. When he placed his other hand atop of hers, she felt a tingle down her spine.
"You seem out of spirits today, sir," she said light-heartedly. "I hope you are not displeased with your company." He smiled warmly at her.
"You know very well that the company is more than pleasing," he replied. "I just have a few things on my mind, that is all." He seemed hesitant to speak, so she did not pry more, but soon he broke his silence again. "I do not quite know how to ask this, Elizabeth, but I must... were you expecting a proposal from my cousin?" Elizabeth colored and looked at him confusedly.
"Mr. Darcy? Why would you think I expected a proposal from Mr. Darcy?"
"He did not seem thrilled when I shared the news of our engagement. I was afraid that perhaps I had breached a previous understanding between you." Elizabeth laughed at the absurdity of it.
"I am sure that his displeasure was of a different sort entirely sir. He does not think highly of my family and position in society, and after having worked so hard to separate his friend Bingley from my sister, it must have been quite distasteful to him to discover that he will soon be related to a lowly Bennet." An embarrassed blush covered Fitzwilliam's cheeks.
"You mean ... yesterday, when I told you of Darcy's ... that was your sister? I am so sorry for having spoken so lightly of it! I see now why it upset you so!" She placed a reassuring hand on his arm.
"Do not concern yourself over it, sir. I already had reason enough to think ill of your cousin; this was just another log in the fire. As I told you when we first met, Colonel Fitzwilliam-"
"Richard," he corrected.
"Richard," she blushed, "Mr. Darcy and I are not the best of friends." He smiled and changed the subject. He was more at ease, for at least he knew that if Darcy did love her, it was unrequited, and he did not feel quite so guilty. She seems to abhor him! It's not as if I am disrupting one of history's great love stories! Content, he allowed himself to relax and enjoy the company of his future bride.
Chapter 2
Darcy was in a state of turmoil such as he had never felt. It had been hard enough to deal with his feelings for Elizabeth Bennet; he had just come to terms with the fact that he could not live without her, and now he found himself in that exact position. His cousin was going to marry her. She had accepted him. It was unbearable, absolutely unbearable. He tried to tell himself that it was better this way, that she was below him, no good for him, but as always those rational thoughts melted away at the thought of her bright eyes... her bright eyes that would now belong to Colonel Fitzwilliam. The envy was unbearable, and he forced himself to stop thinking about her, be happy for his cousin, and worry about more important things than a nobody from Hertfordshire ... no matter how beautiful.
A few days later, Colonel Fitzwilliam tore himself away from Elizabeth's side to join Darcy in London. He was a bit apprehensive about this meeting, as he was still unsure how his cousin would react to him this time, but was relieved to find him much calmer. Perhaps distant, but at least not throwing punches.
"Darcy! I hope you are well," he said tentatively. Darcy forced himself to stay calm and NOT stare at what appeared to be the lacy corner of a lady's handkerchief sticking out of his cousin's pocket.
"I trust you had a good journey?" Darcy asked, ignoring Fitzwilliam's question.
"As good as anything could be that takes me away from Lizzy," he replied with a look of longing. "The last few days have been like a dream; it was difficult to leave her, but the sooner I could begin to arrange my business affairs, the sooner we can marry!" Darcy turned under the guise of pouring himself a brandy, but really only wanted to hide his cringe of pain from his cousin.
"How is Miss Bennet?" he asked hesitantly, partially from politeness and partly from curiosity. After the first ten minutes of Fitzwilliam's description of her beauty and virtues, he wished he had kept his mouth shut.
"Oh, and her lips, Darcy ... they are like rosebuds, soft and pink, so lovely! She allowed me to kiss her goodbye, and it was ecstasy! I am no innocent schoolboy, you know, but I felt as if it were the first time I had ever been properly kissed!" On and on he went, describing every sensation, from his arms around her soft curves to the feel of her breath on his cheek. Each moment that passed threatened to drive Darcy closer to madness. At last, when Fitzwilliam stopped for a moment to breathe, Darcy interrupted.
"Yes, well, as thrilling as it is to hear about each second that has passed since I last saw you, I believe I get the idea Richard," he said sternly, the use of his given name clearly implying that he would hear no more; the point was taken.
"Sorry Darce! Here I am tittering like a debutante at her first ball, and I have not even told you why I am here!"
"And why are you here?" Fitzwilliam approached his cousin with a more serious look on his face.
"Darcy, you know I value your friendship very highly, and I may even venture to say that you are my favorite relative. Would you do me the honor of standing up with me at my wedding?" Darcy blanched; he stand up for Fitzwilliam at his wedding to Elizabeth? It seemed too cruel to be possible.
"Why I ... had not ... I thank you, yes," he found himself saying, unable to think of a reason to say no. Fitzwilliam slapped him on the shoulder.
"I knew I could count on you old man! Come, pour me a brandy as well; this calls for a little celebration!" With a heavy heart, Darcy poured the drink and toasted to the happiness of his rival with the woman he loved.
Elizabeth left Kent soon after Fitzwilliam, and upon her return discovered that she was the talk of the town. This came as no surprise, of course, but the congratulations were becoming quite fatiguing. Kitty and Lydia were green with envy when they learned she was to marry a colonel, and not just of the militia, but of the regulars, and would likely be constantly surrounded by a whole camp full of soldiers at all times. The thought drove them into a tizzy, and they promised Elizabeth that wherever she lived, they would visit her quite frequently. Though touched by their obvious sisterly devotion, Elizabeth did not wish to talk of redcoats all day, and much preferred the company of Jane, who was still out of spirits despite the amount of time that had passed since Bingley's departure. The only thought that heartened her was that Colonel Fitzwilliam was to come into the country soon to speak with her father, who had already told her that he was planning to consent. Just two days after her return, her intended arrived as they were all sitting in the drawing room sewing and Mr. Bennet was in the library.
"Colonel Fitzwilliam, ma'am," introduced Hill with a hint of a flutter in her voice. He smiled and bowed, immediately causing Kitty, Lydia, and Mrs. Bennet to swoon. Elizabeth, herself a bit affected by the sight of her handsome fiancé, stood to greet and introduce him.
"Mama, Jane, Mary, Kitty, Lydia, this is Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam. Sir, these are my mother and sisters; my father is in the library." He gallantly kissed her hand, then went round the room bestowing the same kindness on each Bennet lady.
"It is a pleasure to meet you; I have heard much of all of you," he said as he sat down with Elizabeth by his side. His affability soon had them all won over, particularly Lydia, who had been inching her seat closer and closer from the moment he sat down. She and Kitty stared at him as though he were a god, even though on this particular occasion he had wisely taken Elizabeth's advice that he not wear his regimentals- otherwise they may have attacked him outright. Jane was particularly content for Elizabeth's sake, for Colonel Fitzwilliam obviously cared for her a great deal and would no doubt be a wonderful husband.
"Oh! Where are my manners?" Mrs. Bennet cried shrilly at the first pause in conversation. "I have not even rung for tea! Hill! Hill! Please bring the tea! Oh, and tell Mr. Bennet to come meet Colonel Fitzwilliam, if you please!" Hill carried out her orders, and within only 20 minutes (for Fitzwilliam was obviously a guest of some importance, and requiring early attention) Mr. Bennet joined them for tea. The younger gentleman quickly stood to meet his future father-in-law.
"It is a pleasure to meet you sir," he said with a broad smile and vigorous handshake. "Miss Elizabeth has told me so much about you that I have been anxious to make your acquaintance for some time." Mr. Bennet chuckled to himself at the young man's eagerness.
"The pleasure is mine sir. Now, let us not waste each other's time; I understand that you wish to speak to me about something particular, so why do we not retire to the library for a moment?" Fitzwilliam glanced quickly at Elizabeth over his shoulder before leaving the room, and she gave him an encouraging smile and nod. As soon as they were gone, the squeals began.
"Oh Lizzy! You fortunate girl! You have caught yourself such a handsome and highborn man! I am sure this will throw your sisters into the paths of other rich men!"
"He is the handsomest soldier I have ever seen! Imagine if he had worn his regimentals! I believe I would have died! Does he have any brothers?"
"Lizzy, you will not keep him all to yourself while he is here, will you? Kitty and I would like to speak to him too! Will he not wear his regimentals to dinner? Perhaps we could invite the officers and have a whole houseful of soldiers!" cried Mrs. Bennet, Kitty, and Lydia (respectively) at the same time. Elizabeth sighed and rolled her eyes.
"No, he has no single brothers. No, he will not wear his regimentals while he is here." This caused disappointment, but Mrs. Bennet liked the idea of inviting the militia, and immediately bustled off to tell Hill to prepare for a large gathering the next day. Several minutes later, the gentlemen returned, Fitzwilliam looking relieved and Mr. Bennet looking amused.
"Well, I suppose this will not come as a surprise to anyone, but all the same we will make it official. Lizzy, I have given Colonel Fitzwilliam my consent in his application for your hand. Congratulations my dear," Mr. Bennet said, his eyes slightly misty as he kissed her forehead. Embraces, congratulations, and talk of weddings filled the rest of the afternoon at Longbourn.
The following day, Fitzwilliam awoke early in the hopes of catching Elizabeth for a private morning walk. She was happy to oblige him, and arm in arm they walked toward the garden.
"I hope yesterday was not too overwhelming for you sir," she said with a laugh. "I know my sisters can be very ... persistent in their attentions."
"I understand ... I am a handsome devil, after all," he joked. "I am glad you warned me about not wearing my regimentals; I believe my life would have been in danger!"
"Ha! Just wait until this evening when the officers come. Poor Wickham and Denny have been putting up with this attention since October!" Fitzwilliam suddenly stopped, a look of angry shock on his face.
"Did you say Wickham?" he asked tensely. She looked at him in confusion, then recalled that he was Darcy's cousin, and was probably acquainted with Wickham.
"I did," she said with a hint of defiance.
"This isn't Mr. George Wickham of Derbyshire, is it?"
"Yes, the same Mr. Wickham who grew up at Pemberley. I know all about it," she confirmed with a definite challenge in her voice. Fitzwilliam looked slightly relieved.
"Ah, so Darcy told you the whole story?"
"No, indeed, I heard it from Mr. Wickham himself."
"Oh no," he groaned. "Please tell me you are joking." She put her hands on her hips indignantly.
"Why would I joke about that poor man's misfortunes?" Fitzwilliam looked at her in disbelief.
"His misfortunes? Yes, his misfortunes have been great indeed!" he said sarcastically.
"How can you treat his misfortunes with contempt and ridicule, when it was your cousin who reduced him to his present state of poverty?" she cried angrily.
"WHAT? That is the most preposterous-! Elizabeth, have you ever spoken to Darcy about this?"
"Of course not! You know that would show a total want of propriety!"
"But it was proper of Wickham to tell you his tale?" he said with a raised eyebrow. Elizabeth opened her mouth to reply, but then it hit her that he had a point. Wickham had only known her a very short while, yet he had revealed so much to her. Slightly humbled, she shook her head.
"I suppose not. But it only confirmed what I already thought of Mr. Darcy, regardless of how appropriate it was for me to know it."
"Oh Elizabeth ... you do not know anything about it. If you will listen, I would be more than happy to tell you the real story." Elizabeth eyed him suspiciously, but nodded her acquiescence. "Mr. Wickham is the son of a very respectable man, my late Uncle Darcy's steward. We all played together as boys. However, as we got older, Wickham became more dissolute in his habits, taking up gambling, drinking, and especially womanizing. Darcy hid all this from his father, who was very fond of Wickham, as he did not wish to distress him. When my uncle died, he left the intention that a valuable family living should be his as soon as it was vacant. Mr. Wickham, however, declined any interest in the church as a profession, and asked for, and was granted, the sum of £3000 instead of the living." Elizabeth's jaw dropped. "I believe he told Darcy that he intended to study the law. Ha! Breaking the law is more like it. How he lived over the next four years I know not, but last summer our paths crossed again under the most painful of circumstances." His face grew dark with anger.
"My cousin Georgiana was taken from school to Ramsgate under the care of a Mrs. Younge; unfortunately we were deceived about her true character. She and Mr. Wickham were friends, and he followed the ladies to the seaside with the intention of seducing Georgiana into an elopement. He made her believe that he loved her, and she was persuaded to believe herself in love with him. His object was her fortune of £30,000, and the fact that she was but 15 years old did not deter him at all." Elizabeth's eyes were now wide with shock, unsure of how to take this news, but knowing that it must be true. "Fortunately, Darcy went to Ramsgate to surprise his sister only a few days before the intended elopement, and was able to save her. Wickham left the place immediately, and Mrs. Younge was dismissed. You will recall that I am her guardian along with Darcy, so I know every detail of these affairs. It was a difficult time, and poor Georgiana still has not recovered from the disappointment. She has a very trusting nature, and to have her heart broken at such an impressionable age has been terrible for her."
Elizabeth was grave and silent, digesting the information he had just given her. The more she thought about it, the more fault she found with her own behavior. Mr. Wickham had flattered her, taken advantage of her attraction to him and her resentment towards Mr. Darcy to spread his lies, and she had fallen right into the trap.
"I do not know what to say... this is shocking indeed. I feel like such a fool for believing him!" Fitzwilliam stepped closer and put his arms around her.
"Do not berate yourself too much my dear. We have all been deceived by him, even Darcy and myself." She leaned against him, enjoying the feel of his arms around her.
"Thank you for telling me Richard. Do you think we should inform my general acquaintance of his vicious character?" He barely heard her, no longer interested in talking about Wickham.
"I would rather consult with Darcy before saying anything. Since most of this concerns him, I think it should be his place to decide." She nodded in agreement. "Now that we have cleared up that misunderstanding..." he began as he leaned down to kiss her cheek, "perhaps we can talk of more pleasant things." She looked up to smile at him, and he rewarded her with a lingering kiss. "Mmm, yes, that is much better. This is my favorite topic of conversation."
"Truly? I will be sure to tell my sisters! They will be happy to have this intelligence," she said with a giggle.
"Allow me to rephrase that: this is my favorite topic of conversation with you and you alone!" he clarified before leaning in for another kiss. The stimulating discussion that ensued delayed their return to the house for quite a while.
The officers arrived at Longbourn that afternoon, and to Elizabeth's surprise, Wickham was among them. She had thought sure that he would not dare show his face with Colonel Fitzwilliam around. It became quickly evident, however, that he was unaware of the situation.
"Miss Bennet! I am so happy to see you!" he said, oozing charm and kissing her hand in greeting. "I have been in town this last week, and only just returned a few hours ago. I barely had time to prepare myself to come here!" Elizabeth forced a smile but pulled her hand away.
"I hope you had a good journey," she said blandly.
"I did. But enough about me! I wish to hear about your trip! How did you find Kent?" Elizabeth grinned.
"Very interesting. Lady Catherine is a very... strong woman." Wickham laughed.
"I have heard much about her strength. I hope you did not lack for amusement though."
"No indeed! Colonel Fitzwilliam was there with Mr. Darcy. Are you at all acquainted with the colonel?" she asked, struggling to hide her amusement. Wickham looked uncomfortable.
"To some extent, yes, in former years. A very gentlemanly man. How did you like him?" Elizabeth could no longer contain her laughter.
"I suppose you could say I liked him very well indeed; we are engaged to be married!" Wickham could not disguise his shock.
"I... Well, I suppose congratulations are in order!" he said with a smile fake enough to make Caroline Bingley proud.
"Thank you Mr. Wickham. Ah, there is Richard! If you will excuse me," she said archly, and walked to where the colonel was waiting.
"Were you just talking to Wickham my dear?" he asked with a wary look in that gentleman's direction.
"I was. Apparently he has been in town, and did not return until today, so he had not yet heard. He was most surprised, to say the least!" Fitzwilliam laughed.
"Perhaps I should go say hello," he teased. Elizabeth slipped her hand through his arm.
"No, I think he has had enough of a shock for one day. Besides, you leave tomorrow and I wish to keep you to myself today." He smiled down at her with an affectionate gaze.
"I love you Elizabeth," he whispered in her ear.
"Colonel Fitzwilliam! Have I congratulated you yet on carrying away the brightest jewel in the country?" Sir William cried out jovially, saving Elizabeth from having to reply.
Chapter 3
Colonel Fitzwilliam left for London the next day with the promise that Elizabeth would soon follow to begin arranging her wedding trousseau. She was also to meet his mother and father, and together they would all set the date of the wedding. Fitzwilliam hoped to have the wedding in mid-May, before he had to rejoin his regiment in the north. Elizabeth had at first seemed tentative about such a short engagement, but had soon agreed to its logic. Things were almost ready; there was just one thing that still weighed on Fitzwilliam's mind.
He had noticed Darcy's strange mood when he had last been in town, but had been so caught up in his own emotions that he had barely cared. Now he felt guilty for being so callous, especially if his cousin were envious of his situation with Elizabeth. Darcy had certainly reacted very strongly when told of the engagement. Though he was steadfast in his plan to marry Elizabeth, he did not wish to cause his cousin pain, and if Darcy did not wish to stand up for him at the wedding, he would certainly understand. With trepidation, he rang the bell of Darcy's townhouse.
"Hello sir!" welcomed the butler. "Is Mr. Darcy expecting you?"
"No, this is a spontaneous call," Fitzwilliam replied. "Is he available?"
"I believe you will find him in the library sir. Shall I announce you?"
"No, thank you Reid, I shall announce myself." The butler nodded and left Fitzwilliam to fend for himself. He entered the library directly without knocking. "Darcy!" he cried out to the form that was hunched over at the desk busily writing. Darcy stood and whirled around.
"Fitzwilliam! What are you doing here?" he asked with a tired voice that matched his haggard face.
"I have come to speak to you. Good God, you look like the devil! What have you been doing to yourself?"
"Nothing ... I have had a good deal of estate business, that is all." Fitzwilliam knew his cousin well enough to realize that when Darcy threw himself into his work, there was a deeper trouble to blame. I wonder if this is because of me... or rather, Elizabeth. I suppose I should just go to it.
"Darcy," Fitzwilliam said with a sigh, "I asked you this when we were still at Rosings, but you never answered me and just ran back to town. It is important for me to know: do you have feelings for Elizabeth Bennet?" Darcy stiffened at this unexpected question.
"Does it matter? Are you afraid of competition?" he asked lightly, hoping to keep his cousin at bay. Fitzwilliam persisted.
"It matters. Tell me," he replied firmly. Darcy sighed in a way that suggested irritation rather than sadness.
"I may have perhaps had a passing attraction for Miss Bennet," he admitted. "But it was trifling, and is quite done, I assure you." It was a lie, but both of them wanted so badly to believe it that they both pretended that they did.
"Then you will still stand up for me at the wedding?"
"Of course Fitzwilliam. I wouldn't miss it," Darcy replied, shaking his cousin's hand with a forced smile. "When do you plan to marry?"
"I hope by the third week of May." Darcy started.
"So soon?"
"I'm afraid I must return to my regiment the first of June, and I certainly wish to be married before then. My father is to obtain a special license."
"I see," Darcy replied pensively. He had not counted on losing Elizabeth so soon. Not that she has ever been mine... "And where will you live?" Fitzwilliam furrowed his brow.
"That is uncertain as of yet. We certainly cannot live in the barracks, but I don't know what else is currently available." You are marrying her and cannot even put a roof over her head?! Bad form Fitzwilliam! I could give her Pemberley...
"Is the encampment still in ----?"
"Yes, why?"
"I will make inquiries and see what I can find." Fitzwilliam's eyes brightened.
"Thank you Darcy! That is very good of you." Darcy waved him off, and they moved on to other subjects.
Elizabeth arrived in London with more than a little trepidation. She was to meet Colonel Fitzwilliam's parents on only her second day in town, and as one does not meet an earl and his wife everyday, particularly when one was soon to be their daughter, she was a bit nervous. Jane, who had accompanied her, attempted to calm her as best she could, but nothing was as soothing to Elizabeth as the discovery that Lord and Lady Fitzwilliam were nothing at all like his lordship's formidable sister, and were exceedingly friendly and welcoming of her. Lady Fitzwilliam was especially impressed with her son's good taste, and began to see why he gave up marrying for fortune in favor of a marriage of obvious affection. After getting acquainted over an excellent dinner, the business of the wedding took over conversation. It was decided that they would be married from Longbourn on the 14th of May and tour the Lakes before returning to Fitzwilliam's regiment.
When Fitzwilliam returned Elizabeth to her uncle's that evening, she was feeling much better than she had before. She even felt that she was truly falling in love with her husband-to-be, which gave her great comfort. He stayed to chat briefly with her aunt and uncle, who discreetly left them a few minutes alone when he took his leave.
"I can hardly believe my good fortune," he said as he stroked her cheek. "In only a few weeks you shall be mine." She smiled up at him with true affection, inducing him to lean down and kiss her ardently. Elizabeth wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing back with more eagerness than she had ever done. Fitzwilliam liked the change, and took it as encouragement to run his fingers along her arms in a tender caress. He at last pulled away for the sake of his composure. "I do so love you Elizabeth," he whispered.
Elizabeth closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and replied, "I love you too Richard." His joy at hearing her say those words at last was overflowing, and he could not control the impulse to pick her up and spin her around with glee. Her delightful laughter filled his ears and his heart, and he knew that he would be happy for the rest of his life.
The following day, Elizabeth and Fitzwilliam were to dine at Darcy's house accompanied by Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner and Jane. Elizabeth was hardly satisfied by this, for although she was no longer deceived by Wickham's tale, she did still think Mr. Darcy to be a most proud and disagreeable man. Jane did not say much at all, but her anxiety over meeting with Mr. Bingley's friend was evident.
Darcy, meanwhile, was still wondering why in the world he had invited his cousin to dine with him, his fiancée's entire family in tow. He would not only have to suffer through seeing his cousin and Elizabeth, but also have to spend an evening with Elizabeth's relations from Cheapside. Shaking his head at his folly, he nonetheless realized that he could not take back the invitation, and so awaited them in dread until the bell rang to announce their arrival.
Their reception was just as Elizabeth had expected; Darcy was formal, of few words, and just as polite as the situation required but no more. He managed to hide his distaste at having his house so polluted by residents of Cheapside, but Elizabeth could tell he was uncomfortable by his aloof manner of address. All this only served to strengthen her opinion of him as the most unpleasant man of her acquaintance.
It was true that Darcy began the dinner determined to think ill of the Gardiners, but found himself enjoying Mr. Gardiner's lively conversation and obvious intelligence and taste. They spoke of common interests such as fishing, and he found that for a city-dweller, Mr. Gardiner was very knowledgeable on the subject. By the time the gentlemen had retired for port, Darcy was quite pleased with the opportunity to speak more with Elizabeth's uncle. He was most displeased, however, with what he saw in Jane. Even he could not deny that she looked pale and tired as if she had seen great disappointment. His conscience began to nag at him when he considered that perhaps she was as broken-hearted as Bingley, and that he had been wrong to separate them. He quickly disregarded the thought, however, for no matter how pleasant her aunt and uncle may be, Mrs. Bennet was still reason enough to keep Bingley away from Jane for good.
Though happy that Darcy seemed to accept her uncle despite his lowly station, Elizabeth was still bristling over his obvious discomfort each time he looked at Jane. It reminded her that he was at fault for breaking Jane's heart, and this offense magnified every other one that she perceived in him. By the time the gentlemen returned, her temper was so raging that she asked Fitzwilliam to speak with her privately to vent her anger.
As he looked around the room telling himself over and over again NOT to stare at Elizabeth, his eyes came to rest on that lady speaking to his cousin in what looked to be a very agitated manner. He knew that if he stood near the doorway of the next room, he would be able to hear what they were saying, but of course, this was highly improper. He tried to focus his attention on other things, but eventually his curiosity got the better of him, and he excused himself on the premise of fetching a book on fishing from the library. He hastily grabbed the book, then went to listen in on Elizabeth's conversation.
"I know he is your cousin, Richard, and I am sorry, but every time I have met him, his behavior has only confirmed my dislike of him." Darcy started. Was she speaking of him?
"Come, Elizabeth, Darcy is not as bad as you make him out to be," Richard replied. "He is just very reserved, and uncomfortable in social situations." Yes, yes, defend me Fitzwilliam! Elizabeth gave a short, bitter laugh.
"That may be true, but it is no excuse for the way he treats people. Did you know that before we were even introduced, he insulted me? Let us see, what were his exact words... ah yes, 'She is tolerable, I suppose, but not handsome enough to tempt me.' And this was in response to Mr. Bingley simply suggesting that he ask me to dance as I was without a partner." Darcy cringed, realizing that she had in fact heard him that night at the assembly. "And speaking of Mr. Bingley, how can I not hate the man who has been the means of ruining, perhaps forever, the happiness of a most beloved sister? You told me yourself that he took pride in having done it!" Darcy's eyes widened with fury; Fitzwilliam had told Elizabeth of his interference? "And then there is his pride... I don't think I have ever met a man who is more conceited and with such a selfish disdain for the feelings of others!" Elizabeth's voice was soft, but impassioned, and he could almost see her fine eyes blazing with anger as she spoke.
"I am very sorry that he has given you that impression. I promise you, Darcy is really a very generous, gentlemanly man."
"Ha! If he is such a gentleman, he should not have behaved in such an ungentlemanlike manner on so many occasions!" Elizabeth had more to say, but he did not hear the rest of her words; the ones she had already spoken had cut him to the core. Did she really think so poorly of him? Elizabeth, the woman he admired so ardently, seemed to absolutely despise him! A pain greater than he had ever felt, greater even that at the news of his cousin's engagement, seared his heart like a hot poker. The emotions were too much for him; he rushed back into the drawing room and thrust the book into Mr. Gardiner's hands, then excused himself claiming a matter of urgent business. He told Fitzwilliam to take over hosting duties, and said he would return as soon as possible. The moment he stepped into the library, he broke down, torn apart by the realization that even if his cousin had not gotten there first, Elizabeth would never had been his.
Chapter 4
The changes did not begin immediately, and even when they did, they were not noticeable at first. It began with small things: he thought more carefully on how his words and actions may affect the feelings of others; he was more polite with people who were not of his class and who did not work for him; his address softened. It was not easy for Darcy to come to terms with Elizabeth's characterization of him, but the more he thought on their acquaintance, the more credit he had to give her. He had never even paused to consider what others had thought of him, and it had cost him the good opinion of the person whose approval he most desired.
But that was the past. He knew now what needed to be done. He was determined to win her over, not for love, he knew it was too late for that, but at least for friendship; they were to be cousins after all. He shuddered at the thought of it. Cousins... it seemed so ridiculous, so wrong, so unnatural to call Elizabeth his cousin. Elizabeth Fitzwilliam was grating to his ears, while Elizabeth Darcy seemed to roll off his tongue. Still, he had long since lost any choice in the matter, and all he could do for her now was to make up for his past behavior. He decided to start by correcting his most damaging mistake: the separation of Bingley and Jane.
A great sadness swept over him as he realized that he might lose his good friend because of his arrogant presumptions. Of course, he had done what he had thought best at the time, based on his observations of Jane's countenance, but he could not deny that Elizabeth was a more reliable source on Jane's feelings. His former arguments against her family's place in society also could no longer stand, for was her sister not about to connect herself to his own family? The deficits of the marriage no longer outweighed the benefits, and he would now be hurting his friend even more if he did not tell him the truth. He knocked on Bingley's door fully aware that his friend could toss him out onto the street within a few minutes.
"Darcy! What a pleasant surprise! To what do I owe this pleasure?"
"I have a very important matter to discuss with you Bingley. Can we speak in private?"
"Of course, come with me." The gentlemen went to the library, but before Bingley could even offer him a drink, Darcy began his well-rehearsed apology.
"Bingley, I have done you a great wrong. Before I confess all to you, however, I wish you to know that I acted only in what I thought were your best interests. I have since learned that I was terribly wrong, and I apologize."
Bingley was now thoroughly confused, for he could not image anything in which Darcy may have ill advised him. His questioning look encouraged Darcy to continue. "When we left Hertfordshire, I told you that I thought Miss Bennet did not care for you." Bingley paled at the mention of her name. "I have since discovered that I was very wrong."
"What? But ... how? Where? You were wrong?" Bingley jumped up, eyes wide.
"As you know, her sister Miss Elizabeth is soon to marry my cousin. It came to my attention that Miss Bennet has bee ... out of sorts since our departure, and she is in fact very much in love you." Bingley's eyes began to glow with a hope that had not been there in months. Darcy considered stopping there, but he knew that the whole truth needed to be revealed. "But there is more ... Miss Bennet was in town for three months and your sisters and I concealed it from you. We thought you were not yet strong enough to see her and decided not to tell you. It was very wrong of me, Bingley, and I apologize with all my heart."
"You mean she was in town all those months and you concealed it from me?" Bingley repeated in anger. "She must think I am a cad, to show her such attentions, then leave her without another word and never visit her when she was in town! How dare you! I am not a child!"
"I know that, Bingley, and I wish to make amends. Miss Bennet is at this moment in town with her sister helping her prepare for the wedding."
"She ... she is in town? Now?" Darcy nodded.
"I was planning to call on them today. Would you care to join me?" Bingley smiled widely, the anger gone, and embraced his friend.
"Thank you for telling me Darcy! I shall prepare at once, and we can depart in a quarter of an hour!" This turned out to be a lie; Bingley was ready in under five minutes, and moments later they were on their way to Gracechurch Street. Darcy had to contain his laughter at the sight of Bingley fidgeting about like a schoolboy sitting through a tedious class. When the carriage finally stopped, Bingley jumped out with an "At last!" and bounded towards the door. As he was about to ring the bell, he froze.
"Oh Darcy ... what if she hates me after all this time of neglect? I do not deserve her!" he whined with a sudden attack of nervousness. Darcy placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder.
"Come Bingley, I am certain that she will be happy to see you. She is of a very forgiving nature." Bingley smiled dreamily.
"Yes, she is an angel, isn't she?" He stood up straight and gave a resolute nod. "Very well. I shall ring the bell." He extended his hand to do just that when the door swung open and Jane herself quickly stepped out, practically falling into Bingley's arms. She had been looking back at Elizabeth at the time, and had not even noticed the gentlemen until she had collided with them. Bingley was helpless; Jane was in his arms, and he was in no hurry to let her go. She looked up at him with embarrassment, and when she realized who it was, her mortification was complete. Much to his disappointment, she stepped away from him.
"Mr. Bingley! P-please excuse me, sir," she said with a shaky voice, and covering her mouth to stifle a sob, she ran back into the house. Elizabeth gave Bingley an apologetic smile.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Bingley, I'm afraid I called for Jane's attention just before she opened the door, and she did not see you there. We were just on our way out for a walk. How do you?" she said warmly, effectively hiding her shock at seeing him on her uncle's doorstep. She did not do as well when she turned her head and saw Mr. Darcy standing beside him. Her brow furrowed in confusion. "Mr. Darcy, this is a surprise. Good day to you as well." He bowed crisply.
"Good day Miss Bennet. I hope you are well. I was coming to call on you today and thought Bingley would like to renew his acquaintance with you and your sister as well," he replied, making it quite clear that Bingley's presence was his doing. She stared at him in surprise for a moment before turning her attention back to Bingley.
"We are very pleased to see you Mr. Bingley. It has been so long since we last met. Won't you come in?" Bingley had been craning his neck to look behind Elizabeth into the house, so it took him a moment to realize what she was saying.
"Hm? Oh, yes, thank you! But it is I who should be sorry, for I was in Ja ... Miss Bennet's way," he stuttered. "It is lovely to see you again Miss Elizabeth. I hear that I am to congratulate you on your upcoming wedding." Elizabeth smiled.
"Thank you sir. Please, come in." They followed her into the parlor, where a concerned Mrs. Gardiner was waiting.
"Lizzy, what is wrong with Jane? She ran through here just a moment ago and..." she stopped when she realized that Elizabeth was not alone. "Oh ... hello."
"Aunt, this is Mr. Bingley, and you know Mr. Darcy of course." Mrs. Gardiner curtseyed, a look of understanding coming over her face. "Gentlemen, please sit down. I am going to speak to Jane, we shall return in a moment." Mrs. Gardiner sat down anxious to satisfy her curiosity about the famous Mr. Bingley.
Elizabeth, meanwhile, went to Jane's room, where the poor girl was crying into her pillow. The shock of seeing Mr. Bingley again, combined with the embarrassing position she had found herself in (despite the pleasantness of being in his arms) had caused her to break down after so many months of quiet despair.
"Jane, dear, won't you come speak to Mr. Bingley? He has come particularly to see you," Elizabeth said soothingly. "He apologizes for what happened at the door."
"He has nothing to apologize for! I was the one who fell on him! Oh, what must he think of me?"
"He thinks you are the loveliest woman in the world, Jane. Come, let us freshen you up and go speak to Mr. Bingley." Jane nodded and allowed Elizabeth to dab her face with a wet washcloth. "You are so fortunate Jane! When you cry your countenance is only more glowing and angelic. Mine just becomes red and swollen!" Elizabeth teased. After a few moments more to gather her composure, Jane indicated her readiness to rejoin the gentlemen. The instant she walked in the door, Bingley jumped to his feet and practically ran to her.
"Miss Bennet, I am so sorry for my clumsiness at the door. I do hope you are not hurt," he said compassionately.
"No sir, I thank you, but you are not to blame. I am the one who did not pay attention and fell upon you. Please forgive me." She still could not bring herself to look at his face, and her cheeks were a deep crimson. Bingley thought she had never looked more beautiful. Without realizing it, he took her hand and tenderly kissed it.
"You are an angel, Miss Bennet; there is nothing to forgive." She looked up at him with teary eyes, her face completely betraying her emotions. Even Darcy could not deny that this woman was indeed very much in love. Bingley saw it too, and his heart leapt with a joy he had not felt in months. He smiled warmly at her, eliciting a smile in return. They merely gazed at each other for several moments, until Darcy cleared his throat to remind them that they weren't alone.
"Shall we sit down, sir?" Jane asked quietly. Bingley nodded, and, never letting go of her hand, led her to a sofa where they sat side by side. Mrs. Gardiner left to see to the tea, leaving the young people to themselves for a few minutes. Darcy shook his head with amusement; the rest of the company would now be forgotten for the duration of their visit. He ventured a glance at Elizabeth and saw a becoming smile brightening her face as she looked at her sister and Bingley speaking quietly together. His heart caught in his throat in a desperate desire that she would one day smile on him this way. She seemed to realize that he was looking at her, and turned in his direction. The look on her face belied her confusion.
"I believe Jane has you to thank for this visit, sir?" she whispered. Darcy nodded.
"I do not like injustices, Miss Bennet, and there is nothing more unjust than to allow a friend to suffer, or to separate two people who are meant to be together." Elizabeth felt a peculiar warmth at his words, but could not comprehend its meaning.
"I thank you sir," she replied, not quite knowing what to say. Darcy looked at her with an intensity that made her turn her eyes.
"I also do not like to make mistakes, and when I do make them, I try to rectify them immediately. It came to my attention that I was wrong in my actions, so this morning I paid Bingley a visit and told him the truth." Elizabeth was astonished; he seemed to know that she was aware of his previous interference and was telling her that he had taken the information to heart. Not knowing what to say, she said nothing at all. Unnerved by her silence, Darcy spoke again as if desperate to get the words out. "I am not a bad man, Miss Bennet. I make mistakes, but I am not bad. I know my behavior towards you has been reproachable, but I hope to make amends." Elizabeth's eyes grew wide at this unexpected declaration. Did Richard tell him about our talk?
"I'm afraid I don't follow you sir. Has... Has Richard spoken to you about this?" she asked warily. He grimaced slightly at her use of his cousin's Christian name; it was so ... intimate.
"I'm afraid I must confess to one more misdeed; the other evening I overhead some of your conversation with Fitzwilliam. I had not intended to hear it, but when I realized that you spoke of me, I had to hear it all. I am very sorry for invading your privacy, but believe me when I say that it was something I needed to hear. I had no idea that I was so ill-liked, and have strived to tend to the reproofs you so justly applied." Elizabeth was torn between anger at his eavesdropping and gratitude at his respect for her opinion and willingness to change his ways. Anger could not survive long, however, after seeing the look of utter contrition on his face. She smiled compassionately at him.
"Mr. Darcy, I am sorry if my words offended you. I was frustrated that evening and let my mouth run wild. I thank you for being so generous with your forgiveness."
"My forgiveness? It is I who should be on my knees begging your forgiveness El... Miss Bennet!" he whispered passionately. "I have been a selfish being all my life, but with time I hope to become worthy of your respect." She extended her hand with a smile.
"Let us not argue for the greater part of the blame Mr. Darcy. I have made my share of mistakes as well, and would not wish for them to be held against me. Therefore, let us shake hands and be friends. We are to be family, after all." Those last few words caused a slight churning in the pit of her stomach, but she brushed it off as nervousness about her wedding. Darcy paled slightly, but took her hand with relief. Instead of shaking it, however, he raised it and ever so lightly brushed his lips against her soft skin. Elizabeth felt as if she had been hit by lightning; raging warmth coursed through her body, and her heart began to pound fiercely. She quickly withdrew her hand and stood. "Please excuse me, I am going to help my aunt with the tea," she sputtered, and quickly left the room.
Darcy's heart was leaping with joy. The delights of kissing her hand were plentiful on their own, but her unmistakably favorable reaction had surpassed them a hundred-fold. She had felt it too, the incredible electricity between, he was sure of it. Perhaps it is not too late after all! he thought with new hope. Elizabeth reentered the room with a plate of cucumber sandwiches, unable to look him in the eye. He was about to speak to her again when the housekeeper entered.
"Colonel Fitzwilliam to see you ma'am," she curtseyed, and stepped aside to reveal the man himself. Darcy's jaw tightened with jealousy as Elizabeth hurried to his side.
"Richard, I am so glad you came," she whispered as he took her hands to kiss them. The difference between the feeling of his kiss and Darcy's made Elizabeth uncomfortable, but she determined not to think on it.
"Hello my love. I hope you are well. Darcy! What brings you here?" he cried to his cousin jovially. Darcy swallowed his bitterness and managed to mutter something about calling with Bingley. Fitzwilliam looked over at Bingley and Jane, who had not even seemed to notice his arrival. "Ah, I see," he chuckled. "Hello Bingley, Miss Bennet!" he said with a wink to Elizabeth. The two lovers tore their eyes away from each other to see who had addressed them.
"Hello Colonel Fitzwilliam, it is lovely to see you."
"Fitzwilliam! How do you do? Er ... have you been here long?" Bingley asked with embarrassment.
"No, not at all ... certainly no more than half an hour," he teased. "No, no, I have only just arrived. I was hoping to claim my lovely fiancée for a walk in the park on this lovely day, as I have a few particular things to speak to her about. What do you say my dear?" Elizabeth glanced quickly at Darcy before replying that she would be delighted, and they took their leave. Bingley and Jane quickly returned to their private conference, but Darcy could only sit there and curse his cousin for being one step ahead of him yet again.
Chapter 5
"Are you quite alright my dear? You seem a bit flustered," Colonel Fitzwilliam asked Elizabeth once they had exited the house. Elizabeth blushed and shook her head.
"No, I am fine. I am just surprised at the events of the last hour. It was most unexpected to open the door and see Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy there! I believe I am also a bit embarrassed, for Mr. Darcy revealed to me that he overheard our conversation at his house the other night. Fortunately he was kind enough to take them in a way I never intended."
"I'm afraid I don't follow you Elizabeth... I thought your feelings were made very clear," Fitzwilliam replied.
"Yes, indeed they were. But Mr. Darcy is a peculiar sort of man, and instead of hating me as any sensible man would do, he saw the merit of my arguments and has resolved to make amends; he began by bringing Mr. Bingley to see Jane, and apologized to me directly. I was not expecting such behavior at all!" Fitzwilliam frowned slightly; he knew Darcy was honorable, but this was beyond anything he had ever seen in his cousin. It was admirable, yet worrisome at the same time.
"I am glad to hear it. It was about time Darcy heard that he is not all that is wonderful and good," he joked. "You, however," he continued, kissing one of her hands, "are all that is wonderful and good." She smiled up at him with an affectionate gaze that eradicated all his fears. "Oh my love, if only we were not in public!" he whispered, lightly brushing her cheek with his lips as he did so.
"Now sir, don't be greedy ... we cannot have all our wishes come true at once," she teased.
"Indeed. My dearest wish was already granted when you agreed to be my wife." She blushed sweetly.
"Now what are these particular things you wished to speak to me about Richard?"
"Mmm, I love you when you say my name. Oh, yes, um, well, there is one very important detail that we forgot to settle when we spoke with my parents."
"What is that?"
"Where we are to spend the wedding night." Elizabeth's blush deepened. "No offense to your family darling, but I would rather not stay at Longbourn."
"Oh heavens! No, of course not!" she agreed.
"Our other options are my parents' townhouse, Darcy's townhouse, or an inn." Elizabeth frowned with displeasure.
"I wish we did not have to be guests of anyone on our wedding night." Fitzwilliam's heart tightened.
"I am so sorry my dear, that I cannot provide a proper home for you yet," he replied gravely. "It tears me apart that I cannot give you all that you deserve."
"Richard, don't do this," Elizabeth said soothingly, placing her hand on his. "I don't need nearly half of the things you wish you could give me," she teased. "Perhaps we could ask Mr. Bingley to open Netherfield for us. I have a feeling that he may soon wish to return to Hertfordshire anyway." Fitzwilliam smiled with relief.
"That is a capital idea! Let us return to your uncle's and speak to him about it immediately!"
"You do realize that we have only been gone a few minutes. They may think we only left to steal some time alone," she winked.
"Hmm ... what a brilliant idea Lizzy! Come with me!" He grabbed her hand, leading her on a wild run through the small park, the two of them laughing like children. This is why I am marrying this man, Elizabeth said to herself. We are of such like mind! At last he stopped under a little copse with a stone bench surrounded by rose bushes. The relative seclusion of this seat from the rest of the park made it particularly attractive to young lovers, and Elizabeth and the Colonel were but one couple in a long line of sweethearts to sit on this bench with amorous intentions. They sat side by side, Fitzwilliam immediately claiming her hands with his own and covering them with fervent kisses. "I have longed to be alone with you again."
"And I you," she replied softly. "I can scarcely believe that in only a few weeks we shall be married! It seems so soon!" Her statement would have worried him except that she smiled as she spoke, indicating happiness rather than fear.
"But to me it seems still too far away." His fingers brushed against her cheek as he tucked a curl behind her ear, causing her to shiver. Thinking that she was cold, he pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her. Just before leaning in for a kiss, he reminded her, "I love you so very dearly." With a smile, she surrendered to the infinite delights of his soft lips.
After a respectable period of absence, followed by a short time to defluster from their interlude in the park, the happy couple returned to Gracechurch Street to speak to Mr. Bingley. They found him speaking in hushed tones with Jane, and the two seemed very pleased with each other. Darcy was chatting amiably with Mrs. Gardiner while, much to Elizabeth's surprise, holding the youngest Gardiner child on his lap. Fitzwilliam had to call her name several times to avert her attention from gaping at Darcy.
"Ah, welcome back Lizzy, Colonel Fitzwilliam," Mrs. Gardiner greeted. "Would you like some tea?"
"No thank you Mrs. Gardiner. I would like to speak to Mr. Bingley for a moment, though." Upon hearing his name, Bingley turned towards him confusedly.
"Hmm? Oh, hello again Colonel. How was your walk? Er ... you did go for a walk, yes?" he stammered.
"Yes we did Bingley. I am sorry to tear you away from Miss Bennet's delightful conversation, but I have a favor to ask of you. Miss Elizabeth and I were wondering if you would let us rent Netherfield from the fortnight before the wedding until we leave for the Lakes. I shall need a place to stay, of course, and we need a place to spend the wedding night as well." Elizabeth blushed; Fitzwilliam smiled; Darcy felt nauseous. The wedding night. Their wedding night. Elizabeth Bennet will become Mrs. Fitzwilliam ... oh God, I'm going to be ill.
"Abigail, would you like to step outside for a moment?" he asked the child on his lap. "I believe I need some air." Little Abby nodded, and he declared their intention to stretch their legs outside. Elizabeth snuck a glance at them as they walked out hand in hand, he so tall and dignified, holding the tiny fingers of a little girl barely three feet tall. It was an endearing picture, and Elizabeth began to wonder just how deeply she had misjudged this man. Darcy breathed a sigh of relief when they stepped outside.
"You're nice Mr. Darcy," Abigail declared. "You're my friend." He smiled widely at the girl.
"Thank you Abigail. You are very nice as well, and I'm happy to be your friend."
"Did you know that Lizzy is getting married?" she asked as they strolled down the street. "She's gonna marry Mr. Colonel Fizz ... Fizzli ... Fizzmillion," she stuttered. "His name is hard. I like yours better."
"Thank you. But my first name is also Fitzwilliam," he informed her, at which she frowned.
"That's silly. You're really pretty. Mr. Fizz ... Lizzy's gonna be hubsband man is pretty too, but I think you're prettier." He laughed aloud at this judgment.
"Thank you Abby! I think so too," he winked. "But don't tell him, he likes to think he's prettier." She giggled conspiratorially.
"I won't tell. Do you feel better now? You looked sad before." He forced a smile.
"Oh yes, I just needed some fresh air and exercise. But now I am much better. Perhaps we should go back now?" Abby nodded, and they walked the short distance back up the street. Though she could not hear their words, Lizzy had discreetly watched their interaction from the window while Fitzwilliam spoke with Bingley, and marveled at Darcy's sweetness and mild manner with her young cousin. This was a side of him she had never seen, and she realized that she found it most attractive. We would certainly have beautiful children ... HE! He would have beautiful children ... she corrected herself, horrified with the direction her thoughts had taken. Come on Lizzy, don't be stupid ... you love Richard. He's a wonderful man who will make you very happy. With a sigh, she returned to her fiancé's side to hear the rest of his conversation with Bingley, doing her best to ignore the rather adorable reentrance of Darcy carrying little Abigail on his shoulders.
Meanwhile, on the other couch...
"Miss Bennet, I must tell you again how very glad I am to see you, and how very sorry I am to have run into you in such an ungentlemanly way. I fear that my behavior towards you has been ungentlemanly in many ways. Please forgive me."
"Truly, Mr. Bingley, I know not of what you speak. You have not offended me in any way I know." Bingley gripped her hand tightly and spoke in soft but earnest tones.
"Oh, but I have wronged you Miss Bennet. In Hertfordshire I singled you out in such a way as to make you believe I had intentions towards you, and then I left without a word." Jane struggled to hold back her tears. So he is confessing that he does not love me. He is apologizing for making me believe that he was serious in his attentions. Oh God, must I suffer through this? "The truth is, Miss Bennet ... Miss Bennet, are you unwell?"
"No, no, please, continue," she choked out, unwilling to be impolite by interrupting him with her tears.
"Ahem.. well, as I was saying ... truly you look very ill. Can I not get you something for your present relief? A glass of wine?"
"No, no, I am well. Please, go on."
"Miss Bennet, the truth is, that I had every intention of returning to Hertfordshire within the week. Unfortunately, I was detained by..."
"Hello Bingley, Miss Bennet!" a jovial voice boomed to them. The two lovers tore their eyes away from each other to see who had addressed them.
"Hello Colonel Fitzwilliam, it is lovely to see you."
"Fitzwilliam! How do you do? Er ... have you been here long?" Bingley asked with embarrassment.
"No, not at all ... certainly no more than half an hour," he teased. "No, no, I have only just arrived. I was hoping to claim my lovely fiancée for a walk in the park on this lovely day, as I have a few particular things to speak to her about. What do you say my dear?" Bingley did not wait for her reply before he spoke to Jane again.
"As I was saying ... I was detained by the unexpected arrival of my sisters, brother, and Darcy. I declared to them my intentions, and they immediately cautioned me against it. They first said you were not worthy of me, which I immediately refuted, as the exact opposite is true. Then ... they said you did not love me. This was a blow I did not expect. Caroline, as your close friend, I could not doubt, and Darcy, whose judgment I trust far beyond my own, was convinced that you were indifferent. I myself could not believe that I was worthy of you, but thought you had at least some affection for me. Upon hearing their firm assurances to the contrary, I lost the heart to return, and have been in town ever since. I have barely done anything but sit in my drawing room, or my club, or wherever Darcy or Caroline were able to drag me, but all the while I pined for you." His voice was fervent now, and Jane could feel the passion emanating from his eyes; it took her breath away.
"I ... but what of Miss Darcy?" she asked shyly, hoping against hope for a disavowal of Caroline's assertions.
"What of her? She has no role in this that I know of," he replied innocently.
"Miss Bingley led me to believe that ... that you were to be married to her."
"Married to little Georgiana? That is absurd! She is barely older than your youngest sister, and not yet out. Where would she get such a notion?" Jane smiled demurely and shrugged slightly.
"I cannot guess. She must have thought there was some affection for she specifically wrote to me about her." Bingley grunted.
"If I know Caroline, it was only said as a stab to hurt you. I promise you, that you will not have to put up with it when we are ... er, next in company with her," he quickly corrected. He had nearly said when we are married, but remembered himself in time; he did not have her consent yet.
"I am sure she meant well. I cannot imagine that she would be so cruel on purpose. No, it must be some terrible misunderstanding." Bingley kissed her hand again.
"Miss Bennet, you are too good to be of this earth. You are truly an angel among us." Jane blushed prettily, bestowing her most affectionate smile on her suitor. "Now ... why do we not get reacquainted with one another? We have much to catch up on..."
Soon after Bingley's approval was granted to use Netherfield and Bingley himself had admitted to hoping that he would soon be in Hertfordshire as well (with a glance at Jane as he said this of course), Bingley and Darcy took their leave of the party. Before parting, each took the opportunity for a last private word.
"Miss Bennet, if it is not asking too much ... may I ask for a private audience with you ... perhaps tomorrow?" Bingley whispered eagerly to Jane.
"I will be here tomorrow, sir, if you were to call," she replied hopefully.
He kissed her hand and bowed smartly, then with a tip of his top hat, "Till tomorrow then!" and went out to the waiting carriage.
"Miss Bennet, I do hope you have taken my apologies to heart. I truly cannot bear to think that you are alive in the world and thinking ill of me," Darcy said earnestly to Elizabeth in the few moments that his cousin spoke to Mrs. Gardiner.
"I beg you sir, do not make yourself uneasy. You are forgiven, and indeed, I thank you for calling with Mr. Bingley today." She curtseyed to him, lowering her eyes so as not to meet his penetrating gaze. He took her hand and kissed it as he bowed.
"Thank you Miss Bennet. Good day. Mrs. Gardiner, thank you for your hospitality. Fitzwilliam," with a final bow, he joined Bingley outside.
"Darce, she is just as I remembered her ... such an angel! She has consented to a private audience tomorrow!" Darcy chuckled at his friend's giddiness.
"What, propose already?" he teased. "Are you sure you aren't being too hasty?" Bingley looked at him in all seriousness.
"I have already wasted too much time Darcy. I must make her mine as soon as I am able. When you love someone as I love Jane, you will understand."
"Perhaps I shall, Bingley. Perhaps I shall."
"Oh Lizzy! Lizzy! He loves me Lizzy, he as well as said it! He has requested a private audience with me tomorrow! Do you think ... oh Lizzy, do you think he will propose?" Jane gushed between laughs and tears. Elizabeth hugged her tightly, feeling the joy almost as deeply as Jane herself.
"I am sure he will Jane. He obviously loves you as much as ever. You will be so happy!"
"So shall we both be, with wonderful, loving husbands," Jane replied warmly.
"Yes ... exactly. We shall both be perfectly content."
Chapter 6
The wedding day was approaching. Darcy had kept himself in London even after Bingley's post-engagement removal to Netherfield with Colonel Fitzwilliam. He wanted to stay as far away from wedding planning as possible, in the hopes of keeping the depressing truth away from his mind. It was bad enough that in two days time, just three days before the wedding, he would have to go; he would much have preferred to arrive that day and leave right after. Of course that would not do, but he would certainly not remain at Netherfield for the wedding night. The very thought of his cousin and his Elizabeth... no, it would not do at all. He would go before, but there was no way he would stay after.
His solitary reverie was interrupted when Baines walked into the library holding a letter. "Here you are sir. I believe it is from your solicitor."
"Thank you Baines. You may go." The butler bowed and left his master alone to read.
Mr. Darcy,I have found an excellent prospect for what you are seeking. It is just outside the town of ____, which you specified, is just the right size for a young family starting out, and has a lovely garden with a prettyish little wilderness in the back lawn. If you wish to settle on it, the price is __ pounds. Please write me immediately with instructions.
Yours,
G. Markby
Darcy sighed, and with heavy heart, penned his brief reply.
Markby,Purchase it at once and send me the deed express as soon as you are able.
FD
Two days later, Netherfield...
"Darcy, at last! We'd quite despaired of you!" cried Fitzwilliam.
"Is that Darcy? Where have you been?" Bingley yelled out from the drawing room. Darcy rolled his eyes, not quite ready to face his friend's enthusiasm.
"I was detained by some business ... anyway, I am not that late, only half a day. Who are you, my mother?" Fitzwilliam laughed.
"I am glad you are here Darce. Come, will you to the drawing room? Our lovely fiancés are here, and Bingley and I hate to be separated from them for even a moment."
"No, I hope you will excuse me," he replied wearily. "But if you will attend me for a moment in the library, I have a matter of business to discuss with you." The gentlemen entered the library and Darcy handed Fitzwilliam a portfolio.
"What is this?"
"The deed to your new home," Darcy answered nonchalantly. "Consider it my wedding gift to you." Fitzwilliam leafed quickly through the portfolio and stared at his cousin in wide-eyed shock.
"Darcy, you cannot give me a house as a wedding gift!" he replied, handing the papers back.
"Why not?"
"Don't be ridiculous! It is far too much! How can I ever accept it?" Darcy shoved the papers back into his cousin's hand.
"For God's sake, Fitz, just take it," he spat out. "It is already bought."
"At least let me pay you ... you shall own it, and I will let it from you."
"Dammit Richard, why can you not just accept this?" Darcy yelled with frustration. Richard pounded his fist on the desk.
"Because Fitzwilliam..." he boomed, then finished softly, "I do have some pride. I don't want your charity." Darcy sighed and bowed his head.
"Very well ... 100 pounds per annum, not a farthing more. You will need to pay for your servants, after all. I have already had the house furnished."
"Darcy, I ... thank you. I shall be forever in your debt."
"You owe me no debt Richard. Just take good care of your ... house," he stuttered, his hand extended. His cousin shook it gratefully.
"I shall take good care of her Darcy ... She will be very happy." Darcy tried his hardest to smile.
"I am sure she will Fitz, she obviously loves you well. But come, show me to my room. I need to refresh myself and go to bed. I am sure that I have three long days ahead of me." Long indeed ... long days of watching Elizabeth become someone else's wife...
Unfortunately for Darcy, the three days did not go quite so slowly as he would have wished. In fact, he found that when the wedding day arrived, he could barely remember them having passed at all. He recalled calling on Longbourn and seeing her there, looking radiant, stunning, more beautiful than in all his fantasies. She had smiled at him when she said hello, a truly friendly smile, and his heart had melted. For that smile he endured the ridiculous antics of Mrs. Bennet, who tried to throw her other daughters in his path, and the equal silliness of said daughters. Kitty and Lydia still stared lustily at their future brother, almost as if hoping that he would switch sisters at the last minute. Oh I wish he would... Mr. Bennet's dry humor, which he would normally have found amusing, grated on him nearly as much as Mrs. Bennet's screeching, and Bingley's constant mooning over Jane made him just as nauseous as it did the first time round. But what really irked him was the obvious affection between Fitzwilliam and Elizabeth.
If he didn't know better, he would almost have thought that his cousin was flaunting his good fortune and mocking him with it. Look what I have won, Darcy! You shall never have her! This wasn't entirely true. In actuality, Fitzwilliam was more defending his territory than showing it off. He had noticed an inordinate amount of blushing on Elizabeth's cheeks when Darcy first called on Longbourn, and he didn't like it one bit. She had later explained that she was still embarrassed over their previous meeting, but just to be sure, he increased his attentions to her and barely let her near his cousin. It was not so much that he didn't trust her fidelity, but that he himself was insecure; he knew he could not give her half, nay, one-tenth of what Darcy could, and the thought of him stealing her away was unbearable ... he was taking no chances.
But nothing out of the ordinary did occur in those few days, and the day itself arrived with blue skies and fine weather. To Darcy it was the blackest of days, no matter the weather, but he knew his duty. He dressed smartly, pocketed the rings with which he had been entrusted, and successfully evaded all company until they all left for the church together.
Elizabeth arrived at the church on time, taking her future husband's arm at the altar. Her veil was much thicker than she remembered, and it hindered her view. She said her vows, and turned to her new husband; but when he lifted her veil, she saw not Colonel Fitzwilliam, but Mr. Darcy. Suddenly the church doors burst open, and Fitzwilliam came running up the aisle.
"Elizabeth! How could you betray me?" He fell to his knees and wept as Darcy picked Elizabeth up and carried her off to the waiting carriage.
"I am sorry Richard ... but it wasn't right ... it just wasn't right!" she called behind her before looking into the face of Fitzwilliam Darcy, her new husband...
Elizabeth practically jumped out of bed as she awoke. Oh Lord, what a nightmare ... what a terrible nightmare. Me, marry Mr. Darcy? Impossible! Why should I wish such a thing? I don't! I don't wish it at all! I wish to marry Richard, and I shall! Today! With much more courage than she felt, Elizabeth called for her maid to draw her bath. After all, she had to look perfect on her wedding day.
It was all a blur. He stood to the side, but not really knowing what was happening around him. It was as if he was in a fog, a dream, or a nightmare more like. He did his duty, handing Fitzwilliam the rings, signing the books as witness... Then the priest said, "I present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Richard Fitzwilliam." The crowd had erupted in cheers, and he, suddenly realizing where he was, stood gaping at their backs as they walked down the aisle. Perhaps he had expected to wake up all the while, or for someone to call out an objection. He obviously could not, as best man. And what would he say? You cannot marry this couple... they love each other, but I love her. Stop at once! Of course not. Still, he had hoped for something... something that never came. He left the church with the rest of the party, but unlike them, who went on to the wedding breakfast, Darcy mounted his horse and rode hard to London. It was fortunate that he knew the way well and the roads were good, for the tears that clouded his vision fell along the whole path.
It was now Darcy's turn to awake with a start. He was in his London townhouse, half-dressed upon his bed. He sat up quickly, ignoring the throbbing in his head caused by far too much wine the night before; he looked around, thinking, praying, hoping to any God that would listen that it had all been a nightmare. He had almost made himself believe it ... until he looked on the floor and saw his crumpled wedding attire and the trampled flower that had been his boutonnière. It had been real. Elizabeth was Mrs. Fitzwilliam, and he was alone.