Posted on Sunday, 2 September 2001
This is insane! Those Crawfords are ruining the peace of Mansfield! Maira, Julia, and Edmund are all dupes of those Crawfords! And blasted Tom needs to get his butt into gear and live unselfishly!
Those were Fanny's thoughts as she paced the East Room, discovering words that she did not realize she knew. Had she stopped to think about them, she would have been shocked to realize how vulgar she was becoming. Never mind how she knew them; she had never spent any time around drunks and cursing men (her father had never cursed in her or her siblings presence).
There must be something I can do to stop those Crawfords and save my family!
Suddenly, an idea hit her. All the time I've been here I have been told to stay in my place. Well, I am going to show all those who said that their places. And this should teach Edmund a lesson. Never again shall he or anyone else think of me as the weak relation. And she would also do so much more than that...
She looked down at her simple dress. First, she thought with a smile, I am going to get out of these clothes forever. Where to go...?
She grabbed a hairbrush before leaving her room. Her feet took her to the room belonging to Edmund. After all, lately he had done the most injuries to her. She opened the door, locked it, and went to his clothing. He does not need all of this, and it is punishment time, after all. What shall I take from here?
Half an hour later, she had pulled some choice articles out, literally torn off her clothing (including those oh so itchy undergarments), and gotten into a whole new outfit. She checked herself in the mirror. Now she was in male clothing, and it was too loose on her, but it felt good to be out the stupid tight outfits women were supposed to wear!
Next, she pulled out the things holding her hair up, and let her long, straight brown hair fall below her waist. Hey, I am changing everything else about me. Why not this? Then she thought about it. She did like her hair, but she did not want it to hinder her plans. So she grabbed a ribbon and tied it all back. Why should that label me as weak? I sure will not let it do so.
She started walking out of the room, and found herself sighing in delight at how comfortable this felt. "Freedom!" she cried.
Grabbing Edmund's riding stick, she unlocked and exited the room. No servant who saw her dared to approach or say anything to her; they were too scared.
Julia was pacing, fuming over Henry Crawford's rejecting her. How can he do such things as he is? Does Maria not feel any sense of duty to Mr. Rushworth? Who does she think she is? The Prince of Wales?
Then the door burst open. Julia spun around, and froze. "Fanny!"
"Come on, girl! What are you doing moping around for that ugly bastard? He doesn't even have two eyebrows, for Heaven's sake! Join me in my quest to rid Mansfield of the Crawfords forever! And so much more! Think of what we can do!"
Little, meek Fanny? Aunt Norris is wrong again, Julia numbly thought. "What are you doing in male clothing? What quest?"
"Why, this is so much more comfortable than those tight dresses! Think of it, Julia: never having to wear things because society forces you to; the right to be independent, and freedom for all ladies! We shall have people be promoted on merit rather than connections and favors. Women being equal to men, and will not have to depend on men for their security, but," she added with an evil grin, "we'll keep them because they are so nice to have around, and serve good uses. People will learn to be useful, and those who only think of themselves shall find their paths blocked."
Fanny turned back to see Julia's eyes shining with glee, and a huge smile adorning her face. "And we can put away or send away all those who should not be allowed to run free?"
"Yes. Mr. Crawford falls under this category, but I am willing to allow Miss Crawford the chance to utterly humiliate herself in public."
Julia let out a cheer. "Let's do it!" She laughed. "Oh, lord, I feel free! But let's get Maria into this, and maybe even Tom. Both need a good shock to make them come around."
The girls hurried into the sitting room, where they found Maria alone (oddly enough). Maria noticed someone there, but did not look up until both girls grabbed her and turned her to face them. She gasped, but couldn't say anything; Fanny prevented that.
"Now listen, cousin: break the engagement with Mr. Rushworth. He's a dumbbell and you'll regret marrying him. And forget the one-eye browed jerk; he doesn't care three straws for you. You had best join Julia and me in a plan."
Maris was shocked, and could only mutter, "What plan?" Julia gleefully explained what Fanny suggested, and Fanny herself added more. Once they were through, Maria was smiling and joyful. "Yes! I am so in this plan! To be free of all that I have dreaded and that man shall be most wonderful! Oh, let us change, Julia, at once!"
They raced to Edmund's room, unaware that servants had overheard their conversation, and excitedly went to spread the news.
"Julia, does this look too stupid?"
"Yes, Maria." A groan. "Why do men need such stupid hats?"
"What about Mary Crawford's taste in hats? Don't you think those look more stupid?"
"Oops. Sorry, Fanny. I forgot that few can top that elongated bonnet look she loves."
"Now, Julia, Fanny, why should we dwell on them? Haven't we got work to do? There's a lot to be done, but, as Fanny said, think of the possibilities when we succeed!"
Julia glanced at the clock, and gasped. "We have been here for over an hour!" She turned to Fanny. "Where do we begin?"
Before Fanny could start explaining her plans, a knock interrupted them "What now," Fanny hissed. She unlocked the door, and opened it to find several smiling servants, with Tom standing in front of them.
"Tom?" said all three girls.
He looked just as excited as the girls and the servants. "Baddeley and several maids overheard your conversations. They have been spreading the news to the other servants, who are in turn spreading the news around the county. Fanny, your ideas have huge support. Who you and my sisters are is making the people rise to your cause. The people are ready for change, and they see you three as their heroines."
"But what do you want with it, Tom," Maria asked. "After all, your behavior has been the worst of all of us."
Shame filled his face; Fanny did not know a man could turn such a shade of red. "A few servants, when they told me about your plans, made me feel that I have a lot to make up for. If I can be a part of a crusade to right many wrongs in England and the Isles, then I will be truly a changed man. Please," he fell to his knees before his cousin, "let me join you and help make your mission a success."
Julia and Maria watched as Fanny thought it through; long enough to make Tom sweat. Finally, she smiled. "Okay, you are on the team."
Tom's smile was a as big as Mansfield itself. He took Fanny's hand and kissed it. "Thank you so much."
"Well," said Julia, "what are we waiting for? Let us start at once!"
Cheers erupted. But Fanny quieted them with a raised hand. "Where are Edmund and the others?"
"Out in the gardens with Lady Bertram and Mrs. Norris," answered Baddeley. "Shall we all go with you on your mission, and shall we start with the Crawfords?"
Some more cheering started, but Fanny again held up a hand, this time with a smile. "Some should stay here to keep them from going out of line. We can deal with the Crawfords later. Right now we must fight for The Cause!"
The servants and the leaders, plus their male relation (as a high-level assistant), all cheered as they hurried down the steps, taking what they needed for the mission. The cheering quieted as they rushed to the stables to get horses for Fanny and others. For the girls, it was the first time they ever rode like males did, and it give them even more control. As they departed Mansfield, the crowd following grew and grew...
Meanwhile, back at Mansfield...
"Maria?" screamed Mrs. Norris. "Where are you? Mr. Crawford is ready to rehearse that scene with you!"
Posted on Sunday, 17 March 2002
It took several hours for the other residents of Mansfield Park to realize just how many people were missing.
Mrs. Norris went ballistic.
(For the sake of the sensibilities of my dear readers, I shall not repeat even one word of what was said in front of those still at Mansfield, let alone what she said in private.)
Lady Bertram was dreadfully alarmed. Her life since becoming Sir Thomas' wife had been one of comfort after comfort. Her children had never done anything to concern her (at least that she was aware of; she never heard from Sir Thomas how badly Tom had behaved), and she had never had anything bad happen to her before becoming Lady Bertram. Her disposition allowed her to handle the deaths of relations with a surprising calm, which is why I say she had not had anything bad happen to her.
But where had they gone? And Fanny! "How was she to do without her?" was her loudest cry.
Edmund was the most alarmed of the party. A large number of servants abandoning their posts was something to greatly alarm a man who strongly believes in the status quo. The other servants swore that they knew nothing except that the party had gone sometime early in the morning on the day that they were missing. As he took the time to question all of the remaining servants, it was not until two days after they left that he was satisfied of their ignorance.
The feelings of the others can be easily summed up:
Dr. and Mrs. Grant: worried about the group and those remaining. Okay about the play stopping.
Mr. Rushworth: frightened for Maria's safety, worried about the others, concerned for those still at Mansfield, sorry the fun had stopped, yet glad that Mr. Crawford can't flirt with Maria.
Mrs. Rushworth: furious that the servants didn't know their places, concerned for Lady Bertram's family, angry at Maria for leaving her dear son.
The Honourable John Yates: disgusted at the interruption of the fun, saddened by Julia's absence, wondering at Tom and Maria leaving when the fun was just starting, concern about the disruption the escaping servants could cause.
Miss Crawford: sorry the play is put off (she was looking forward to performing with Edmund), concerned for Edmund's family, surprised that the girls would leave her brother's presence, shocked at the servants leaving.
And of course, His Vanity himself,
Mr. Crawford: shocked that Maria and Julia could walk away from him so easily, ticked that the fun was over, pleased at what fun he did get, and mildly concerned about what the servants could do.
Edmund sent inquiries, but all of them seemed to go strangely unanswered...
If Edmund had received any report about what was happening, he would not have believed it.
Had Sir Thomas had any clue, he would have had a fit and died on the spot. For his sake, let us be glad that at the time he was still on the ship headed for jolly old England.
Most had no warning. Fanny and the gang were very good about carefully moving and securing an area without alerting too many people. And how did they secure areas and support? I must leave that to your imagination as to not shock you greatly, but allow me to assure you that none of the girls were ever in danger of losing their virtue, and Tom never took advantage of a girl.
Even the areas that did have warning could not get the word out; the girls of the area and the servants prevented that. All of the girls proved to be faithful allies; they loved the idea of not having marry men they didn't like.
So successful were they that so many elder men and ladies of the old order had strokes and died of the shock. It grieves me to report that Sir Thomas Bertram, Lady Bertram, and Mrs. Rushworth were among them. Mrs. Norris almost had a stroke, but she had been keeping too busy to be kept down for long.
However, by November, Fanny was declared and crowned Empress of the British Isles, Maria and Julia were crowned Grand Duchesses of Ireland and Scotland, respectively, and Tom the Grand Duke of England. William was granted the title of Grand Duke of England, and would be crowned when he returned. Now Fanny and her followers had every important aspect of the isles under control.
Everything, that is, except Mansfield Park and Sotherton.
They first sent word to Portsmouth, requesting Fanny's sister Susan to come join them; Fanny had reason to think her sister would make Tom a good wife, and she was not displeased when she arrived. Tom and Susan seemed to break a record in falling madly in love and wanting to marry.
At last, the group headed to Northamptionshire. They managed to send word to the remaining servants of both houses, and since Mr. Rushworth was visiting with the Bertrams, the Mansfield servants had the task of capturing and binding everyone. Luckily for the victims, the empress and her gang were only a few hours away.
When they arrived, the victims were brought into the Mansfield sitting room. Mrs. Norris was the loudest, but the servants didn't bother to answer any of them. They had heard nothing about the titles that belonged to the former Mansfield youths. So you many imagine their shock when Fanny, followed by her cousins and sister, arrived in the grandest, yet simplest pants suit ever seen.
"What do you think you are doing, Fanny?" cried Mrs. Norris. Fanny and the gang tuned out her rant. Fanny snapped her fingers, and four servants took Edmund out of the room. He stammered questions about what was going on, but the looks in the faces of his siblings scared him so much he could not speak aloud.
Mrs. Norris' rant finally got to Fanny. She walked up and slapped her aunt, silencing her with shock. "That is quite enough, aunt. We have had enough of your meddling, but thanks to the work I have accomplished, with the help of my cousins and many of the servants, this land shall be a better place to live. I do grieve for my aunt and uncle, and for Mrs. Rushworth, but we had no way of knowing they would react in such a way.
"But now," and she rubbed her hands in glee, "we get to decide what happens to those who have made our lives such a pain."
"But, first," said Julia, "we'll take care of a few things." She motioned to several servants, who promptly untied the Grants, Yates, and Mr. Rushworth. "You four are free. We apologise for detaining you. Mr. Yates, please leave at once."
He was smart enough to follow her order, but not until after bowing to them all.
"Aunt Norris," Tom began, "for all the pain and suffering that you have brought upon this family, we shall send you to Bedlam, where you can be with your own kind. And one more bad word against Fanny and I'll pop you one."
That seemed to render Mrs. Norris incapable of making any sound. She instead looked like a fish out of water.
Which left the Crawfords. How to deal with them was something they had debated for some time.
Fanny approached Mary Crawford, who was by now very afraid of what could happen to her. "Miss Crawford, since you have not really acted in malice towards others, I cannot be harsh with you, but you have done me wrong. So... since the 'society' girls will have a hard time finding husbands, I'll give you one: Mr. Rushworth."
Gasps escaped all the detainees. Maria turned to her ex and said, "I am sorry, James, but I have realized that we would have been miserable in marriage. Miss Crawford is, however, more obliging and charming than I could ever be. I am sure you will find this an acceptable exchange."
Mr. Rushworth could tell which side his bread was buttered on, so he happily accepted, and wished Her Grace ever happiness in the world.
Mary Crawford also could tell that saying no could be very bad for her. She took a deep breath. "I shall be happy to be mistress of such a fine estate as Sotherton. I am sure Mr. Rushworth and I shall be very happy together." Her smile was forced, but Fanny was satisfied.
"Untie her."
Mary could not hide her relief at being... partly free. And with Tom inheriting Mansfield, Sotherton was a better option for her... even if the man had none of the sense or personality of Edmund ... Still, she was all smiles as she allowed Mr. Rushworth to kiss her hand.
"You will be married tonight," Fanny declared. At the looks of confusion, she added that "it is perfectly legal now." That quieted the room, leaving one last matter to deal with...
Maria walked up to the tied Henry Crawford, who was smiling at her. "You will let me out, won't you, my dear?"
Instead of speaking, she punched him, breaking his nose. "That's for what you've done."
Now Henry knew he was in major trouble. "What are you going to do with me?" he whimpered.
"We are not sure yet," said Maria. "We have not decided what would be appropriate."
Suddenly, Tom snapped his fingers. "I have it! Bring out the tar and feathers! After a good treatment of both, we'll let him loose into the area around Mr. Smith's house. He likes a good drink, and he'll deal with a wild animal that wanders onto his property..."
I cannot begin to describe the feelings of everyone in the room. Between the cheers of the servants and the gang, and the horror on the minds of the others, it was a madhouse.
Mr. Crawford was "tried" before the village, found guilty of meddling with the Miss Bertrams, and give the sentence Tom had announced. After they let him loose, they never heard what happened to him. We can only speculate...
But what of the rest?
Yates became a famous actor.
The Grants returned to the Parsonage, knowing their places in this new order.
The Rushworths left for Sotherton, making it just before dark.
Maria and Julia plotted about how to find the perfect men for themselves...
Tom and Susan thoroughly enjoyed the privacy of the Master's bedroom...
Edmund woke up to find himself tied to a bed and gagged. When Fanny walked in with the most wicked smile he had ever seen on her, he realized three things:
1. He had never really known her.
2. She had never looked more beautiful.
3. Soft, light eyes were infinitely better than dark, sparkling eyes.
I leave it to you to decide how Fanny taught Edmund his place in her world ... But rest assured that the parties that we are concerned about lived very happy lives...