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She was able to hit and kick the bag in a mindless way, venting her frustration, but the next song betrayed her resolve to forget about what George had said to her. Soon, thoughts about what happened earlier found their way into her mind.
Don't let it go away,
This feeling has got to stay.
Don't let it go away.
This feeling has got to stay.
And I can't believe I've had this chance now.
Don't let it go away.
She was never one to let what other people said affect her. That's why her behavior towards George troubled her. She had been provoked by various people in the past, but she never took her anger out on any of them, no matter how out of line they were. What also troubled her was what William thought about her behavior. She reasoned with herself that she was a guest in his house and her behavior was totally unacceptable. To exhibit such a violent tendency and William had witnessed it no less, she was afraid that this incident effected his opinion of her.
New, you're so new.
You, you're new.
And I never had this taste in the past.
New, you're so new.
Things had been going well between them. She felt they were making some kind of progress, but after what happened earlier, she wondered how far this incident set back their progress. William was a refined and reserved gentleman. She was sure punching someone because you did not like what they said was seen as barbaric, and in a woman, highly improper. Would he look down on her?
My normal hesitation is gone.
And I really gravitate to your will.
Are you here to fetch me out?
'Cause I've never had this taste in my mouth.
You're not old,
And you're not familiar,
Recently discovered and I'm learning about you.
She realized she did not really know William. She had to admit that there was a growing familiarity between them, but she did not even know him well enough to know whether or not he would be angry or embarrassed by her behavior.
New, you're so new.
You, you're new.
And you're consuming me violently,
And your reverence shamelessly tempting me.
Who sent this maniac?
She remembered his concern for her after it happened. He seemed worried and like he genuinely wanted to help her. He was gentle with the way he handled her bruised hand and the soothing way he talked to her. . . It reminded her of how he treated her behind the column at the foot of the steps to the veranda. With great force, Elizabeth spun around and kicked the bag. Focus. You shouldn't be thinking about that.
'Cause I never had this taste in the past.
You're different, you're different from the former.
Like a fresh battery I'm energized by you.
Elizabeth was unaware she was being watched. William knew he should make his presence known, but he was intrigued. He watched Elizabeth pound on the punching bag with an agility and strength that surprised him.
He was also drawn to the intense focus she put on beating down the punching bag. The perspiration that collected on the back of her work out top made his mind wander. I wonder if she puts this much . . . energy in. . . He shook his head. Now's not the time to be thinking about that. He stared in wonder while Elizabeth continued her assault on the bag.
Don't let it go away.
This feeling has got to stay.
Don't let it go away.
This feeling has got to stay.
And I can't believe I've had this chance now.
Don't let it go away.
Elizabeth was indeed not like any woman of his acquaintance. After being in her presence and witnessing the glory in front of him, there was no way he could ever settle for anything less than her.
Why am I so curious?
This territory is dangerous.
I'll probably end up at the start.
I'll be back in line with my broken heart.
Wickham's words echoed in Elizabeth's mind. Do you really think you have a chance with William? The question reminded her of that night when she first met William. She had overheard Caroline talking to her sister and she said the same thing as Wickham. She was outraged that Caroline had implied that she did not stand a chance, but now, being here in his house . . . she had not really considered the consequence of being with a man like William. Could she live the kind of life he lived? She certainly could not go around punching every person who questioned her integrity and character. Elizabeth did not like what Wickham had implied about the kind of person she was, but what upset her more was the assumption that she could be treated in such a manner. It was evident with Wickham, Caroline, and she believed with Aunt Catherine that they did not think much of her.
Never in her life had she been treated with such disrespect and Elizabeth was not one to tolerate such treatment, regardless of who dished it out.
New, you're so new.
You, you're new.
And I never had this taste in the past.
Don't let it go away.
This feeling has got to stay.
Don't let it go away.
This feeling has got to stay.
And I can't believe I've had this chance now.
Don't let it go away.
She wondered how many other people perceived her in the same way. Memories of the ball drifted in her mind. Certain aspects of the evening that seemed trivial to her at the time, now took on a more serious meaning. She remembered the hushed conversations about who she was when she first arrived. Then when she thought about the first dance with William and how much attention they drew. It was no ordinary fascination.
The incident of this afternoon caused an uneasy feeling to stir at the pit of her stomach. What if those people found out about what I did to George? That would certainly give them something to talk about and help cement her character as a person who obviously did not belong, especially with someone like William. When Richard said William's family was a primary source of gossip, she did not really understand the weight of those words until now.
And I can't believe it.
Can't believe it.
Can't believe it.
Can't believe it.
Don't let it go away, this feeling has got to stay.
Don't let it go away.*
Elizabeth could not help feeling a little affronted by the thought, because of where she was from, she had to prove she was a person of good character. She never had to go through anything like that before.
The music faded and a peaceful silence occupied the gym. She stood in front of the punching bag, hands to her side, regulating her breath. She was collecting her thoughts, figuring out the best way to handle things. However, she heard someone cough. When she turned around and saw who it was, she realized that she would not have enough time to formulate what she was going to tell him.
"William."
A small appeared on his lips. "I take it your hand is better?"
She forced out a laugh and looked up at him. "We need to talk."
The seriousness in her expression made William shift in his spot. "Alright." Elizabeth looked down at her hands. She still had the gloves on and decided to take them off, trying to buy time to organize her thoughts.
William watched her struggle to take off the gloves and was about to offer some help, but she managed to get one off and was now in the process of taking the other off. Of course, she doesn't need help. While she took off the other glove, William said, "I wanted to apologize for this afternoon."
Elizabeth ceased her attention on the glove and looked up at him with astonishment. "Apologize? I don't understand why you should be apologizing."
He returned her look of astonishment. "Well, my father and I are ashamed that this happened-"
"You and your father?"
"Yes."
"Your father knows what happened?"
William nodded.
She let out a deep sigh. "There's no reason for you and your father to apologize or feel ashamed." She looked down at the gloves she held in her hands. "If anybody should be apologizing or feeling ashamed, it should be me."
"Elizabeth, the fact that it happened in this house and that George is. . . a close friend of the family. . . those facts can't be overlooked." He walked towards her. "My father said he should've dealt with George's behavior a long time ago."
Elizabeth shook her head. "There's no way that you or your father will be held responsible for this. I know what kind of relationship he has with your family, but George is a grown man. He knew exactly what he was doing." She threw the gloves next to the boom box.
William saw the troubled expression on her face and reached out and stroked her cheek. "He deserved what he got."
Elizabeth shook her head and turned away from William. She knelt down next to the boom box, taking out her CD. "No one deserves to be hit, even if they're a jerk." When she put the CD away, she stood up and faced William, making sure to keep her distance away. "I'm sorry that I let my temper get the best of me. I'm also sorry that your father found out about what happened."
He could not believe she was apologizing. He reached out for her, but she walked towards the punching bag. He looked at her with a curious expression. "I don't think you have any reason to apologize, but. . . is there something else that's bothering you?"
Elizabeth turned around. She crossed her arms and looked down at the ground. "I've been thinking. . ." She took a deep breath. "What would happen if more people knew about what I did this afternoon?"
"More people? You mean like the Fitzwilliams and the Gardiners?"
"Well, yes, but what if other people knew? Like the other people who were here today for tea." She could not remember all the names, but she recognized some of the faces from the ball.
"Hmm. . . they'd probably be surprised. Maybe a little shocked too." William studied her face. There were deep creases in her brow and her usually bright eyes were clouded with concern. "May I ask why you're asking these questions?"
Elizabeth tucked a stray curl behind her ear. "I. . . I was afraid that what I did would embarrass your family."
He smiled. "That's hardly the case."
The creases on her forehead deepened. "What if something like that were to happen again?"
One of the corners of his mouth was upturned, causing a dimple to appear. "Are you planning to get in another scrape with George?"
She looked at him. "No."
William was surprised by the serious tone of her voice and her demeanor. "What's this all about?"
Elizabeth looked at him for a moment. "These past few days have been. . . wonderful. I had no idea things would be so great." William smiled and she looked away, trying to stick with what she was resolved to do. "But, being here has also made me realize. . . how different we are."
William remained silent, his gaze fixed on Elizabeth.
She swallowed hard, gathering the strength to continue. "I'm a good person. I've put myself through school and now I have a good career. I've worked hard to get where I am. But, for the first time in my life, for a brief moment, I was ashamed of that. I shouldn't be."
"What did George say to you?"
Elizabeth faced the punching bag and gave it a gentle push. "Nothing." She pushed the punching bag again. "I was more upset about the fact that he thought he could talk to me in that way."
William swore under his breath.
Elizabeth continued her gentle assault on the punching bag. "I can't change who I am and I don't want to. And I wouldn't want you to change."
His anger was quick to subside. He was bewildered by her comment. "I never said anything about you changing. I think you're. . ." He took a step towards her. "I wouldn't change a thing."
Elizabeth shifted in her spot. Although she felt William near her, she did not turn around to face him. "I know at this point you like who I am, but I couldn't bear the thought that one day you wouldn't. That one day you'd regret being with me."
William shook his head in disagreement, but Elizabeth prevented him from saying anything by continuing, "You should be with someone whose background people wouldn't doubt. You should be with someone who you would never grow to resent."
With his eyes, he traced the outline of her neck. "I could never resent you. Never."
"I can't take that chance."
"What are you saying?"
Elizabeth took in a steady breath. "I don't think we should see each other anymore."
He blinked several times. "Wait. Can we talk about this? I don't see why we have to stop seeing each other."
"I think we should stop before . . ."
William shook his head. "I-"
"I don't belong here."
"Elizabeth-"
She turned around and faced him. "And what happens if things between us were to get more serious? This is your home, I would never expect you to give it up. And I don't think I could give up what I have. I've worked too hard for it."
"Why do we have to give up anything? We could find a way."
"The last two days have been very special to me. I'll always cherish them. But, I've also realized that you come from a different world. It's been only two days-two days I wouldn't change, but if this is two days, then. . . I don't think I could handle . . . Can you imagine how people would treat us? How many times people will question our relationship?"
William looked at her for a moment. "I don't care what other people think."
"You say that now. . ."
"And I'll always mean it." He walked to her. "Do you really think I care about things like who your family is and how much money they're worth?"
"I-I- you haven't even met them yet."
"I hope too." He reached out and touch her face. "If you'll let me."
Elizabeth blinked back tears and shrugged off William's touch. "Don't. That's not fair."
"Not fair? You've decided our future without even consulting me." He looked down. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"
"No, it's alright. I suppose I deserved that."
"No, you didn't. I just, I think you're being hasty in this decision."
"I don't want things to get very serious between us and then . . . I don't want to hurt you."
"Elizabeth, you-the idea of not having you in my life. . . I can't-" He searched her face for any sign of hope. He was then hit with a sudden realization. "You've already made up your mind."
She nodded with a serious expression that was so unlike her.
Their silence was interrupted by Mrs. Reynolds. She cleared her throat. "Dinner will be served in an hour."
William looked up. "Thank you."
Mrs. Reynolds looked at the couple for a moment before she walked out the gym.
Elizabeth bit her lower lip. "We should. . . I need to get to get ready for dinner."
He did not look at her. "Right."
She went over to the boom box to get her CD. When she stood up, she looked at William. She was not sure what to say. After a moment, all she could say was, "I'll see you at dinner."
She turned to walk away, but William took hold of her arm. Elizabeth looked up at him. She let herself indulge in that look that made her skin tingle. This would probably be the last time. The thought that she would not allow herself this pleasure again, caused her to look away. "I have to go."
He released her and watched her walk out of the gym with the steady look he had given her before. William ran his fingers through his hair. He proceeded to walk out so he could get ready for dinner as well. Although Elizabeth was serious about her decision, William was not quite ready to accept it.
*New by No Doubt from The Return of Saturn
Elizabeth breathed out, her breath coming out in white plumes in the morning air. She managed to put a good distance between her and the house. She did not sleep well, so she was awake unusually early. Instead of trying to go back to sleep, or waiting for the inevitable arrival of someone coming to bring breakfast in her room, Elizabeth dressed and decided to take a walk on the grounds.
She walked through the grounds with no particular purpose, but to have the solitary confinement a person needs when they are faced with numerous things to contemplate. Although the discussion she had with William in the gym was difficult, it was nothing compared to having to face everyone at dinner. She was glad for Jane's and Charles' engagement. Although she was thrilled for her sister, she had hoped the news would provide a distraction for her disappearance earlier that day and also for William's detached manner from everyone, especially her. However, her hopes were in vain. The memory of a conversation from dinner drifted into her mind.
Anne looked at Jane from across the table. "So, is it safe to assume that Elizabeth will be your maid of honor?"
Jane nodded. "I hope she will be."
Elizabeth reassured her with a smile. "Of course, I will."
Richard looked at Charles. "Is William going to be your best man?"
Charles shot a glance over at his friend who seemed occupied with his plate. "I hope so, and if he refuses, I'll enlist the help of the maid of honor to convince him."
Without looking up from his plate, William said, "That won't be necessary."
The table was silent. Everyone's eyes turned to Elizabeth for her reaction, but she also had an unusual preoccupation with her plate.
The silence was broken by one of the children. "Aunt Jane, can I come to your wedding?" Everyone laughed at the sound of Laura's earnest request.
Jane smiled at the girl. "Of course, but I was going to ask if you'd like to be the flower girl." She looked over at her Aunt and Uncle who gave her approving smiles.
Laura's brow wrinkled. "What does the flower girl do?"
Her mother explained. "The flower girl sprinkles flower petals on the floor for the bride to walk on when she walks to the alter."
Laura's features brightened. "I think I'd be a very good flower girl." The young girl's response was met with good-natured laughter. Then Laura turned to her favorite Aunt. "Elizabeth, can I be the flower girl for your wedding?" Laura looked at William. "But, you probably want Georgiana to be the flower girl."
Everyone waited for their response. Elizabeth's cheeks burned and her mouth opened several times, but nothing came out. However, William had looked up and smiled at the little girl.
"I think you'd make a lovely flower girl." William's response caused Laura to grin. The conversation continued, however with very little participation from two particular people at the table.
His first comment to Charles affected her more than she was willing to admit. It was obvious by the edge in his voice that what she had said to him earlier hurt him very much. She did not want to hurt him, but she believed what she had decided was for the best. However, when she heard William's response to Laura, she was surprised by the sincerity in his voice. This was the William she knew. When her eyes met William's, she recognized the look of gentle determination she had become familiar with that evening after the ball.
She stopped in the middle of a grove of trees. Thoughts crowded her mind about William's determined expression at dinner. What was he thinking about? Does he still think . . . Does he still want. . . She did not know what to think. She shook her head and continued walking.
"I'm sorry to keep you waiting, Mr. Darcy. If I had known you were going out for a ride this morning, I would've had your horse ready."
William shook his head. "It's alright." He mounted Truffle with ease. "If anyone asks, I'll be out riding, checking the estate." He pulled on the reins to point Truffle towards the exit. "I'll be gone for most of the morning."
When the stable hand nodded his understanding, William took off at a trot. He had been awake since the crack of dawn. Since it was a Monday, normally he would be getting ready for work. Anne would be on the conference phone, briefing him on his schedule for the day. However, since he knew Elizabeth would not be leaving until that afternoon, he had his appointments rescheduled for Tuesday.
He dug his heels into his horse causing it to quicken its pace. Now, he regretted making such a change. Things had not turned out as he had planned. He did not think he could get any work done with the knowledge that Elizabeth was present, but now he wished for any distraction that could help him forget she was there.
He looked around at the trees he passed on his horse. There was no doubt, he was angry. He let his horse navigate while he sorted out his feelings. Was he angry at Elizabeth? If he had asked himself that question last night, it would have been met with a resounding yes, but some time had passed and now he really could not be angry at her. He also came to realize that it was not anger he was feeling.
His grip on the reins tightened which caused Truffle to whine. He mumbled, "Sorry." And let the horse continue on its way.
William was hurt. This type of pain cut more deep than the pain Isabella inflicted on him. With Isabella, it was easy to move on. It was different with Elizabeth. Was he ready to move on? He could not answer that question. A part of him did not think so. Knowing a woman like Elizabeth existed, and what a life with her would be like, could not be ignored. Another part, the part that saw reason in Elizabeth's point, could not dismiss it so easily.
Do you really think I care about things like who your family is and how much money they're worth?
Although William meant what he said to Elizabeth, he never really thought about the consequence of those words. His parents never encouraged him to date women within their own social circle, but then, they never encouraged him to date outside of it either. He could not help wondering if his parents had done this on purpose. He had a faint memory of when his mother was alive and she and Aunt Catherine would talk about their hopes for their children's' future. Aunt Catherine was sure Anne would marry William. His mother simply wished for her children to be happy.
William wondered if his mother would have liked Elizabeth. He was sure she would have, but would his mother have accepted her as someone who was more to him than an acquaintance? He shook his head. His mother was a loving and devoted parent and wife, but she also knew the importance of being a Darcy. It was not to be taken lightly. Was it fair of him to expect Elizabeth to undertake such a responsibility?
His attention was distracted by the grove of trees Truffle was trotting through. A small smile spread on his lips and he bent down and gave the horse a hearty pat on the neck.
"You know the way by heart, don't you?" The horse snorted in response. William chuckled and let the horse continue on its journey. Soon, his mind wandered to a conversation from dinner last night.
If he could, William would have skipped dinner. He did not trust himself to act civil around people tonight, but he knew, especially with who the guests were this evening, it would be very rude not to make an appearance. Then Anne would start asking him questions about why he could not come down to dinner, and he did not think he could tolerate any questions, especially from her.
He was determined to be civil, but when the conversation turned to Jane's and Charles' wedding, William focused his attention on what was before him on the table. He could not begrudge his best friend happiness, but he had a difficult time sharing in that happiness at the moment. Then he heard his name mentioned.
"Is William going to be your best man?"
Charles shot a glance over at his friend who was occupied with his plate. "I hope so, and if he refuses, I'll enlist the help of the maid of honor to convince him."
"That won't be necessary." When he realized the words had left his mouth, he grimaced, but was quick to erase the expression. He was relieved when the silence was broken by Laura.
"Aunt Jane, can I come to your wedding?"
"Of course, but I was going to ask you if you'd like to be the flower girl."
"What does the flower girl do?"
"The flower girl sprinkles flower petals on the floor for the bride to walk on when she walks to the alter."
"I think I'd be a very good flower girl."
William could not help looking up when he heard the little girl's response. Her eyes were bright. It amazed him how much she looked like Elizabeth.
"Elizabeth, can I be the flower girl for your wedding?" Then she flashed those eyes at him. "But, you probably want Georgiana to be the flower girl."
William blinked several times. He waited for Elizabeth to respond, but by the expression on her face, she was just as surprised as him. Again, he responded without thinking, "I think you'd make a lovely flower girl."
Another rush of relief overcame him when Laura smiled at him and everyone resumed their conversations. His eyes betrayed his resolve to stay on his plate and they wandered towards Elizabeth. She had a pink glow on her cheeks and she was looking at him with her dark eyes. William looked at her, not quite ready to accept the fact he lost the privilege to look at her whenever he pleased.
He was jerked out of his thoughts by Truffle's increased pace. William looked up to see that they were approaching their destination. He smiled to himself when the white marble dome came into view.
Elizabeth stood at the base of the hill in quiet admiration of the monument before her. She felt like an intruder, but was also compelled to take a closer look. She hesitated at first, afraid that at any moment someone would ask her what she was doing at a place so sacred to the Darcy family. However, she continued walking towards it, drawn to it for some reason.
The shy morning light peaked over the domed roof of the mausoleum. Elizabeth stopped in front of the steps that encircled it. The entire structure was white marble. It had double colonnades that supported the dome. The effect gave the mausoleum a light and airy quality. This place was so unlike what she had experienced in the past with death.
She walked on the first step, staying on its path that led around it. When she passed a few colonnades, her eye was caught by a sculpted panel. She shifted in her spot to get a better look and saw three other panels and in the center a tomb. Elizabeth hesitated before she walked up the steps to get a better look at the panel.
She marveled at the carved details of the two figures. One of the figures was an angel holding a lit lamp and the other was a lady holding a baby. The folds in the robes and the waves in the hair of both figures were captured with amazing detail. Underneath the sculpted picture were the engraved words:
HEAVEN LIES ABOUT US IN OUR INFANCY
From Wordsworth's ode "Intimations of Immortality" from "Recollection of Early Childhood"
Elizabeth breathed in before she walked around to the other panel. This time it was a man with a staff, kneeling. The other figure, a lady was sitting, turned away from him. In between them, grew a plant that looked like a fern. She read the words underneath this scene.
AND EVERY SHEPHERD TELLS HIS TALE
UNDER THE HAWTHORNE IN THE DALE
From Milton's L'Allegro
The man had a dove in his hand which was clasped near his chest. Elizabeth's breath got stuck in her throat. She looked down, bracing herself for the next panel.
Again, there were two figures, a man and a woman. They were in the same position as the previous figures. The man kneeled behind the lady with grapes in one hand and a pumpkin in the other. The lady was holding fresh wheat. In between them was a grapevine. The words for this panel were from Thomas Moore's poem, "Spring and Autumn".
YET THE VINEYARDS RUBY TREASURES
BRIGHTEN AUTUMNS SOB'RER TIME
With a light touch, Elizabeth traced the grapes and its leaves that the men held in his hand. It reminded her of when she climbed the grand stairway up the house and encountered William's door. She smiled to herself and moved on to the last panel.
The scene in the panel caused the smile on Elizabeth's face to fade. There were two figures in the panel, but one was an elderly man with a long flowing beard. His head was bowed down, reading a book. The angel from the first panel was behind him, facing away from him. The angel held the lamp, but extinguished the flame with his other hand. She looked underneath the scene for the inscription.
SO TEACH US TO NUMBER OUR DAYS
THAT WE MAY APPLY OUR HEARTS UNTO WISDOM
Psalms 90, Verse 12*
A heavy feeling overcame her heart. She peaked around the panel to see a corner of the tomb. She could not bring herself to look at the entire mass in the center. It had been a couple of years since her father had died and she had not even visited his grave since they buried him. Elizabeth backed away. She had thought this walk would help clear her mind.
When she turned away from the monument, she was startled by the sight of William at the base of the hill. Truffle was grazing a few feet away from him.
"William." She looked back at the mausoleum, then at him. "I. . . I know I shouldn't be here. . . I'm sorry. . ."
At first he thought he was imagining things. He was so used to having this place to himself that when he saw Elizabeth come around from behind the structure, at first he thought it was some trick his mind was playing on him because she occupied his thoughts so much. However, when he came closer, he realized it was not a cruel trick.
Remembering himself, he said, "It's alright."
Elizabeth looked down.
William searched for something to say. "You're up early."
"I didn't sleep very well."
"Me either."
She looked up at him. She was not sure, but she thought she saw a small smile lingering on his lips.
William walked towards her and climbed a few steps. "How long have you been here?"
"I'm not sure." She looked up at the sun which was now well above the dome of the monument. "A while, I suppose."
"So. . . what do you think?"
Elizabeth was looking at the last panel, so she did not see the slight look of apprehension on his face.
"I. . . It's. . ." There really were no words to describe this place. Elizabeth thought for a moment. "It looks like your father loved your mother very much."
He nodded and then looked with Elizabeth at the same panel. "Each panel represents a season." He snuck a glance at her. "This one's Winter."
Her eyes were fixed on the angel extinguishing the lamp.
"Have you seen the others?"
She looked up at him. "Yes." Elizabeth followed him to the panel representing Spring. They stood in front of it for a moment before Elizabeth reached out and traced the grapes and the leaves carved in the panel. "This reminds me of your door."
"My-" He chuckled when he understood the reference. "Right." He looked at her.
The familiarity she felt from his gaze caused her to shift in her spot. "I should get going. I have to finish packing and I'm sure you. . . you want to be alone."
"No." He stopped himself and looked at the mausoleum. "I'll walk you back."
"It's alright. You should stay."
"She'll understand."
Elizabeth shot a quick look at the mausoleum and raised an eyebrow at him.
"Don't worry. I'll see her later."
She blinked several times. Then when she saw that charming small smile, she knew. "What would she think? Leaving her, just to walk me back."
He took a step closer. "She'd insist that I do."
"I say it's not worth the trouble."
"And I say it's no trouble at all."
William held his gaze with Elizabeth. The critical look she gave him caused him to think that she would hold her ground. He knew her well enough that she had no scruples in refusing his assistance and when she turned and walked away, a part of him regretted that he did not seem to have a hold on or could sway her feelings in any way towards him.
And just when he had almost given up hope, Elizabeth stopped at the bottom of the steps and turned to him. "I thought you were going to walk me back." She was going to say good bye and walk on, but a certain part of her betrayed her and uttered the words she really wanted to say.
He had to stop himself from rushing down the steps. "Of course." William descended the steps in a slow, restrained manner.
They walked in silence. It was neither awkward or companionable. It was an anxious type of silence. Elizabeth was trying to think of what to say, but was distracted by William's riding attire. Although she had seen Georgiana in a similar outfit, her mind did not go to distraction at the sight of Georgiana in tall, black riding boots and khaki riding pants. William was just pleased to share this private moment with her. It almost felt as if that incident in the gym did not happen.
William walked over to collect Truffle by the reins. Elizabeth tried to focus her attention on something other than William's retreating figure.
"The house looks lovely from here."
He walked towards her with Truffle in tow. "My great, great, great, great, great grandfather wanted to make sure that the house didn't have a bad side where ever someone saw it when they were on the estate."
"Really?" She looked at the view again. "That shows a great forbearance of mind to think about such details so carefully."
They continued walking towards the house. "Well, I think it was more of the Darcy pride that motivated my great grandfather."
She raised an eyebrow at him. "Darcy pride?"
"Yes. My great grandfather couldn't tolerate being outdone."
She laughed. "Are you sure it's just your great, great, great, great, great grandfather?"
"Well, it is called the Darcy pride."
She smiled and looked around the lush grounds. "Well, it's not unwarranted, that's for sure."
They walked in silence, this time they were more at ease. William so much at ease, that he let the next slip out with out thinking. "I can't believe you think you don't belong here."
Elizabeth almost stopped in her tracks, but managed to somehow keep moving. "Wha-What did you say?"
"I said, I can't believe you think you don't belong here."
She looked at him. The sincere, warm look in his eyes could not be doubted. She hesitated before she could say anything. "Home to me are houses that sit side by side on one street. Lawns and gardens are maintained with the best of intentions, but are usually the result of an amateur gardener." She waved her hand in the air. "This place. . . people like me think this place only exists in dreams."
"People like you?" He stared at her. "Why do you think you're so different?"
Elizabeth looked at his clothes in an obvious manner. William looked down at his clothes, then at her. Then she walked over to Truffle and patted his neck. "Did you enjoy your ride this morning?"
He knew what she was trying to do, but he would not allow her the satisfaction. "Yes. But, I remember you said you've never been horse back riding before."
Thinking her point was made, she said with a touch of triumph, "You're right. I've never rode a horse before."
"You're in luck then." He walked towards her. "I'm sure Truffle would be more than happy to let you have a try."
Elizabeth blinked several times. "But-"
He handed her the reins. "Truffle can be a bit strong willed, but I think you'll be fine."
She shook her head. "I can't-"
He placed his hand on the small of her back and guided her to the saddle. "It might be hard at first because he can be willful, but you have to be show him that you won't tolerate any nonsense."
"Willful?" Images of Truffle in a fast gallop while she held on for dear life raced through Elizabeth's mind. "I don't know if I can do this. What if I fall off?"
"You won't fall off." He helped her up into the saddle. "Just make sure not to pull on the reins too hard."
William stepped back and watched Elizabeth try to take charge of Truffle.
"Whoa-No don't-Stop-" Truffle had found a luscious patch of vegetation to graze on. "No, Truffle. William!"
"You're doing fine." He held back, suppressing his urge to laugh.
"OK, Truffle. Good." Just when she thought she had things under control, Truffle began walking to another spot. "No, Truffle. Whoa, boy." She looked for William. When she spotted him, she saw that he was a few feet away with his hand over his mouth. "You think this is funny?" Before she could hear a response, Truffle turned in the direction of the pond. "No, where are you going?" She looked back at William.
He put two fingers in his mouth and whistled. The horse's ears pointed upward at the sound and it trotted towards the source. The whole time Elizabeth held on to the reins for her life. "Whoa, Truffle. Not so fast."
When they stopped in front of William, he took hold of Truffle's bridle and gave him a sound pat on its shoulder. "Good boy."
Elizabeth looked at William, her mouth slightly opened.
The look was not missed by William. "That wasn't so bad, was it?"
She opened and closed her mouth several times before anything came out. "Not so bad?"
"Well, at least this is something we have in common."
She looked at him for a moment. "I'd hardly call myself an expert rider."
"No, but I had to learn to ride too."
She looked down. What was he trying to tell her? Even though they came from different backgrounds, there could still be a chance for them? She was quick to discount that notion. By the end of the evening, she would be back home, in her apartment, getting ready for work the next day. There were no horses, no grand gardens to return to.
"Would you like to continue the lesson?"
She snapped back to the present. "Uhm. . . I don't know. . ."
"I promise I won't let Truffle run off again."
It was hard to turn down William, especially when he looked up at her with such a warm look and that charming small smile on his lips. Just when she mustered up her last bit of resolve to refuse him, she felt William's gentle grip on her calf. He looked up at her and said, "It won't be so rough this time."
She swallowed hard. "Alright."
He removed her foot from the stirrup and before Elizabeth could ask what was going on, he mounted the horse and sat behind her.
"What are you doing?" She felt his breath on her cheek. "Are you sure the horse will be alright?"
"Yes. I taught Georgiana how to ride this way." When she was ten.
"Oh."
He cleared his throat and put his hands over hers as she held the reins. "Use the reins to tell which direction you want the horse to go." He gave a firm tug to the right, and Truffle moved to the right. "You try."
Elizabeth pulled the rein to the left. Truffle moved, but returned to the right to nibble on some grass. "It didn't work."
"Here." His hand gripped over her left hand on the rein and he pulled at it, but with a bit more force than Elizabeth had used. The horse yielded to his command and moved to the left.
"I see." She tried to mind William's directions, but was so distracted by the closeness of his presence. However, his next direction soon brought her out of her daze.
"I have to what?"
"If you want the horse to move faster, you have to dig your heels in its side."
"But, that would be like kicking it."
"Well, it's either that or hit him with the riding crop."
"Riding crop?"
"Yes. It's like a whip."
"A whip? So, I either have to kick it or whip it to get it to move faster? I don't think I can do that."
"Well, I don't mind riding like this," Elizabeth was not sure, but she thought she felt his arms tighten around her. "But, I suppose I should tell you, it will take a while to get back to the stables at this rate and you said you still had some packing to do."
Elizabeth let out a deep sigh. "I don't want to hit the horse."
"Alright." He removed his feet from the stirrups and told her to put hers in them. Then he let go of the reins. "Remember, use the reins to guide the horse. Give it a firm dig to make it move faster."
She nodded her understanding. Elizabeth took hold of the reins and dug her heels into Truffle's sides. The horse did not move any faster.
"You'll have to try harder. He can take it."
She tried again, but this time Truffle snorted.
"Would you like me to show you?"
"No." She said with a bit of indignation. Then she gave a swift and firm dig on the horse's sides and this time Truffle jerked into a trot. However, the quick movement caused a reflex movement in William to grab onto something so he would not fall off.
Elizabeth tried focusing on where they were going, but was very aware of William's hands on her hips. At first, she was startled not only by Truffle's unexpected dash into a trot, but also by William's firm hold on her. It reminded her of the other times his hands had found there way there, but there was a slight difference this time. There was a strength in his grip she had not felt before that he must have kept in check the other times. Without thinking, she urged the horse to go faster, and soon she felt the unrestrained strength of his arms around her. The fact that she could not breath or that she felt herself grow warm did not cause her to slow down or hear William's voice.
It took him a moment to realize where his hands were and when he did, at first he thought to let go, but did not. She did not seem to mind, and he certainly did not have any objections if she did not have any. However, when the horse's pace quickened even more, his reflex was to put his arms around her and say, "Is everything alright?"
When she did not respond, he tried to sneak a glance at her. She seemed to be concentrating on riding, so he was content in just having her in his arms.
They rode like this for several minutes when Elizabeth realized what was happening. She stopped the horse without warning.
"What's the matter?"
"I. . . uh. . . how much further is it to the stables?"
"Not much further. It's just around this turn."
By now he had released her from his hold. She was grateful for it because she had almost lost herself in those arms. When she had regained her composure, she urged the horse to move forward, but this time in a slower manner.
After some time, William spoke. "Did . . . did you enjoy the ride?"
Elizabeth felt the back of her neck grow warm. "It was nice."
Unfortunately, William could not see her neck because her hair covered it, but he persisted. "I was surprised by how fast you let the horse go considering it was your first time."
"I . . . I surprised myself too."
William wished he could see her face. Her voice was almost a whisper and he wondered what she was feeling.
Elizabeth was thankful she did not have to look at William because she knew she could not hide her feelings at the moment. The proximity of his body and how every so often his knee would brush up against her thigh made it nearly impossible to focus on anything. She let out a quiet sigh when the stables came into view.
William was not as pleased. He knew it was inevitable, but he wished they had not arrived so soon. He felt there was so much to say, but nothing came to his mind. He knew the situation was delicate between them and he did not want to ruin it by saying something impetuous.
While deep in thought, he took the reins from Elizabeth who was surprised by the action because it happened without warning. At first she thought she did something wrong while steering the horse. Elizabeth waited for an admonishment, but when none came, she asked, "Did I do something wrong?"
It was sometime before he said, "Uh, no."
She waited for him to continue, but he did not. She looked down at his hand over hers on the reins. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you didn't like where I was taking us." Elizabeth felt the deep warmth of his laughter echo through her body.
"What makes you think that?" He tightened his grip on her hand.
She cleared her throat. "I don't know." Before she could check herself, her thumb caressed one of his fingers.
It took every ounce of his self control not to go into a fast break towards one of the secluded places on the grounds only he was privy to. "Elizabeth. . . "
She shivered when she felt his breath in her ear. "Yes."
He struggled with his thoughts. There was so much to say, but how? "I . . . you . . . Have you had breakfast yet?"
She smiled. "No. Have you?"
"I had some coffee."
"No nutella?"
He chuckled. "No. That's only for special occasions."
"Well, since this is my last day here, would that be considered special enough?"
"Perhaps. . ."
"Perhaps?"
"If you promised to share this time, then maybe."
Elizabeth laughed. A part of William grew sad. I caused that. I won't be able to do it again.
"I suppose since this is your place, I'll have to share."
"Good."
They reached the stables. William pulled on the reins and the horse stopped. He was careful to dismount without disturbing Elizabeth. When it was her turn to dismount, she miscalculated how far the ground was and landed quite off balance. Lucky for her, William was there to catch her.
"I got you."
"Thank you." She was slow to turn around and face him.
He brushed a curl from her cheek.
She shifted in her spot.
He took a step towards her.
She cleared her throat. "I should get back to the house."
"Right." He took a strand of her hair and rolled it between his fingers.
She stood there for a moment, unsure of what to do. She liked the attention, but she knew too well where that attention would lead to and she had resigned herself not to allow herself to indulge in such attention.
Elizabeth's brow furrowed. "William."
He let his hand drop to his side and looked down. "Is it alright if I go to the airport with you?"
"Yes."
He looked up and smiled. "Thank you."
It took all of her self-restrain not to crush her lips onto his. "I'm going to go have some breakfast." She eased herself away from his gaze and started walking towards the house. She stopped and turned around when she realized he was still standing in the same spot. "I thought you were going to join me."
"I will. I just have to bring the horse in."
"Oh." With an arched eyebrow, she said, "Don't think I forgot about the Nutella."
He chuckled. "Of course not."
She gave him one of her brilliant smiles before she turned and walked away. He watched her until she disappeared into a thicket of trees.
Truffle shook his head which caused the reins in William's hand to shake him out of his distraction. "Sorry."
Truffle snorted.
"Alright." He led the horse into the stables. "But, how could you blame me?"
Truffle whined.
"I know. You'd like some breakfast too."
A stable hand approached. "I'll take him, Mr. Darcy."
Truffle shook his head again. "Thank you, but it seems Truffle demands my particular attention."
The stable hand smiled. "Alright. I'll check on him later then."
William nodded and led Truffle to its stall. "You know, I could be on my way to breakfast right now."
Truffle was silent.
"With her."
Truffle snorted.
William shook his head. When they reached the doorway to Truffle's stable, William stopped in mid-stride at the sight he saw inside.
Truffle whined which caused the couple to separate from each other.
"Will!" They said in unison.
"I'm sorry-" William looked at the couple. "Richard? ANNE?"
They shifted in their spots. Then they started at the same time.
"We-"
"I-"
William held up his hand. "No need to explain anything." He handed Richard Truffle's reins. "He needs to be fed."
Richard was about to protest, but William added, "And it's the stall on the right that's unoccupied." Then he turned and walked away.
Anne followed him out the stall. "William!"
Without stopping, he yelled back, "I need some breakfast too."
When Elizabeth reached the house, she had not realized how late it was. Charles was already there waiting to accompany them to the airport. She gave him a brief greeting and went upstairs to finish packing. She also wanted to call the Gardiners before she left. In her mad rush to get things done, she had forgotten about breakfast.
She was in her room making sure she had everything, when she heard a knock on the door.
"Come in."
Jane walked in. "Got everything?"
Elizabeth scanned the room. "I think so."
"I've already had my bags taken down."
Elizabeth looked under the bed. "Alright. I'll meet you down stairs."
Georgiana walked in just as Jane was leaving.
"Are you both ready to go?"
Since Elizabeth was on all fours checking under the bed, Jane answered, "Almost. It seems Elizabeth is determined not to leave anything behind."
Georgiana walked over to the bed. "I'm sure you've got everything. Besides, if something is left behind, William can always bring it back."
Elizabeth stopped her search. "Right." She could not look Georgiana or Jane in the eye.
"I just wanted to say good bye to the both of you because I won't be going to the airport."
Elizabeth and Jane stepped forward. Jane was first to speak. "Thank you so much for having us. This place is so lovely." She gave Georgiana a warm hug.
When they parted, Georgiana said, "Well, I hope some day you'll invite me to stay at Netherfield."
Jane blinked a few times, but when she realized the implications, she blushed.
Georgiana turned to Elizabeth. "You're also always welcome here. I hope you don't feel like you need an invitation to visit."
Elizabeth was not sure how to respond. She wondered if Georgiana would still be this nice to her if she knew what she had said to William the previous evening. Somehow, she knew the young girl would still be kind to her.
Elizabeth hugged Georgiana. "Thank you." In a lower voice, she said, "I'll always remember that."
Pleased with how things went, Georgiana said, "May I walk you both downstairs?"
"That would be nice."
"You two go on ahead. I'll be down in a minute."
"Alright." Jane turned to Georgiana. "Since Elizabeth will be a few minutes, can we go into the garden? I had some questions about some of the flowers there."
"Of course."
Elizabeth let out a small laugh. "Already planning?"
Jane smiled. "Just getting some ideas." She and Georgiana walked out and a few minutes later, Mrs. Reynolds walked in.
"Is there anything I can do for you?"
"Oh, Mrs. Reynolds." Elizabeth stepped out of the closet. "I suppose I'm done. Will you have someone bring my bags down?"
"Of course." Mrs. Reynolds turned to walk out, but stopped.
"Is something the matter, Mrs. Reynolds?"
She turned around. "No. . . I . . . May I just say that it has been truly a pleasure meeting you."
"Oh." Elizabeth was not sure how much of this she could take. "Thank you. That means a lot to me, especially since. . . well, you're obviously very important to the Darcys."
"They're important to me as well." Mrs. Reynolds turned to walk out, but stopped again.
"Was there something else?"
"I believe your presence at breakfast was missed."
Elizabeth's brow furrowed. "My presence. . . " Then her eyes widened. "Oh. Breakfast."
"Would you like me to put something together for you?"
"No. . . I . . . uh. . ."
"Well, perhaps you'd like something to read on the plane." She gave her a pointed look. "You'll find something in the library."
"The-" When she realized what Mrs. Reynolds was referring to, she smiled. "Thank you."
Mrs. Reynolds returned her smile with her own before she left the room. Elizabeth was left alone. Before she went down to the library, Elizabeth took one last look around the room. She wanted to capture it in her memory because in a few days, the whole weekend would be a dream.
She walked out of the room and closed the door behind her. When she looked up, she saw the portrait of the hillside. Now she understood why William stared at it like he did that night. William. . . Elizabeth walked down the stairs and towards the library.
When she reached the grand door, it was ajar. She reached up to knock on it, but stopped when she heard voices inside.
"When are you going back?"
"In a week. I still have to meet their mother."
"That's right." There was a short pause. "Did you ask their uncle for permission?"
There was laughter from the other speaker. "Well, actually, I did have a conversation with Mr. Gardiner that night we had dinner here. I think he was checking to make sure Jane was in good hands."
Elizabeth could not help smiling at William's comment about asking Uncle Gardiner permission to marry Jane. Do people still do that?
After a long pause, she heard Charles' voice. "What about you?"
"What about me?"
"When are you going to have your talk with Uncle Gardiner?"
Elizabeth knew she should leave, but could not make her feet move.
"I . . . I don't know."
"What?" His voice cracked. "Sorry. It's just, you two look like-"
"I know, but. . ."
"Did something happen?"
It was quiet again. Then William started, "I'm not sure. I mean, there's definitely something there, but. . ."
"But, what?"
Elizabeth waited, forgetting to breathe.
"Nothing." He got up from his seat. "We should get going. They're probably waiting for us."
Elizabeth was quick to get herself out of there. She knew she would not make it to the garden in time before the men would reach them, so she waited in the front hall.
Soon, she heard the gentlemen walking from the library.
"Oh, Elizabeth. How long have you been waiting?"
She smiled at Charles. "Not very long." She snuck a look at William. "Jane's in the garden with Georgiana, talking about flowers."
Charles let out a deep sigh. "It's already started?"
Elizabeth shrugged and Charles went out to get Jane.
William and Elizabeth stood in front of each other in the hall. She realized that her actions this morning contradicted her resolve. Elizabeth decided that she had to act in a way that would not leave William any doubt of her feelings expressed in the gym the night before.
"William, we need to talk."
He nodded in agreement and took a step closer.
"This morning-"
"You missed breakfast."
"Oh. Right. I'm sorry. Once I walked in-I had to start packing-" She tucked some hair behind her hair, distracted by William's clean shaven smell. "But, there's something else I wanted to say-"
He reached out for the strand of hair she had just tucked behind her ear and started to roll it between his fingers.
"Uh. . .I . . . this morning," She swallowed hard. "It was a mistake."
His hand dropped to his side. "Mistake?"
She could not look at him. "I mean, the horse ride was nice. It's just. . ."
He waited for her to continue. He had a sinking feeling about what she was going to say next, but a booming voice interrupted their conversation.
"There you are! You weren't going to leave without saying goodbye, were you?" Mr. Darcy approached the couple.
Elizabeth sighed in relief. "Of course not." She walked towards him. "Besides, I don't think you'd let me."
He gave her a warm embrace. "Quite right."
She returned the embrace. It reminded her of something. . . not William. Something she had lost and had been missing for a few years. She pulled away from Mr. Darcy and looked at him for a moment before she said, "Thank you."
Mr. Darcy was truly going to miss her. He took her hand and kissed it. "No, thank you." Then with a smile, he added, "I hope you'll visit us again."
Elizabeth blinked to keep the tears from falling. She could not say anything, so she kissed him on the cheek.
"Alright. That's enough." Mr. Darcy cleared his throat. "Off with you now." He turned to William. "You're going to the airport, right?"
"Of course."
"Good. Make sure she gets there in one piece."
William smiled. "Right."
Mr. Darcy winked at Elizabeth and walked off to the library. Soon, Jane came in followed by Charles, Georgiana, Richard, and Anne. Georgiana, Richard, and Anne said their good-byes and then William and Charles accompanied Elizabeth and Jane to the airport.
The ride to the airport was quiet except for the occasional whispers from Jane and Charles. William snuck a glance at Elizabeth from time to time who was in deep thought. Judging from the parting he observed between his father and Elizabeth, William believed it may have affected her more than she was letting on. The instances he observed his father and Elizabeth together throughout the weekend lead him to believe they had some type of affection for the other. He knew his father's feelings were of admiration and respect. He thought Elizabeth felt the same way also, but there was also something else. Sometimes her smile around his father was not its usual radiant smile. There was another feeling that lingered in her eyes when she smiled. It was subtle, but it looked as if she were searching for something in Mr. Darcy's expression. The answer was sudden.
Without thinking, he reached out for Elizabeth's hand. When she did not pull away, he asked, "Are you thinking about your dad?"
She turned away from the window and looked at him. It was true she had been thinking about her dad. Mr. Darcy reminded her very much of her own father. However, she had stopped thinking about her father when they had entered the car because William's presence was not easy to ignore.
She just smiled at him and rested her head on his shoulder. Elizabeth took her hand out of his hand and took hold of the crook of his arm.
William waited for her to say something, but when she did not, he remained still, allowing Elizabeth to rest her head on his shoulder.
After Jane and Elizabeth checked in their bags, the couples walked towards the gate. Jane and Charles walked hand in hand, savoring their last moments together until Charles' visit in a week.
Elizabeth and William were a stark contrast to the other couple. They walked next to each other, but did look or touch the other person. When they disembarked from the car, William tried to continue what happened in the car, but Elizabeth showed discomfort at his attempts.
A voice echoed through the airport. "Flight 105 to Los Angeles is now boarding."
"They're early."
"For once."
"I guess Jane and I should get going." They looked at Jane who was in Charles' arms, obviously not in any hurry to board the plane. Elizabeth looked up at him for the first time since they left the car. "Thank you, for this weekend."
"I'm glad you could be here." He took a step forward and then looked down. "Uh. . .will you call me when you get in. . ."
"I don't know-"
He looked at her. "Just so I know you're home safe."
Whenever he looked at her like that, she could hardly refuse him anything. "Alright."
"Listen, about what you said the other evening, in the gym. . ."
Elizabeth shifted in her spot.
"Do you. . . do you still feel that way? Is that what you want?"
She knew it was coming, but she did not feel the confidence for what she had to say. "Yes." Elizabeth looked at him. "It's what I want." It's for the best.
He looked at her, not quite believing what she said. He searched for some sign of hope, but Elizabeth's firm resolve gave him none. "Alright."
"Final call for flight 105 to Los Angeles, now boarding."
"Elizabeth, are you ready?"
She turned to Jane. "Yeah, I'll be right there." She turned back to William. "I have to go."
"Right."
"I'll call when I get there."
He nodded.
She turned to join Jane, but was held back by William. "Elizabeth." She turned to face him. Before she could answer, his lips were on hers. His kiss was slow, tender and she felt his lips linger on hers after they parted. His voice was low. "Are you sure about this?"
Elizabeth touched his face. With a certainty she did not feel, she said, "Yes." She hugged him and whispered, "Bye, William." Then she walked away with Jane and disappeared into the terminal.
"I can't believe she's gone."
William looked up at the sound of Charles' voice. "Me either."
*The mausoleum, including the panels and inscriptions, were borrowed from the Mausoleum of Henry and Arabella Huntington which is located at the Huntington Library, Gardens, and estate in Pasadena, California.
"Jane, I can't wait to meet your Charles." Mrs. Bennet straightened out the couch cushions for the seventy-fifth time. "I hope he likes the cucumber sandwiches I made."
"I'm sure he'll like them." Jane took her mother by the arm and guided her to one of the armchairs. "Just relax. He'll be here soon."
Mrs. Bennet could not be deterred. She worked her way out of Jane's grasp and straightened some framed pictures on the wall for the fiftieth time. "I know. I just want everything to be perfect when he gets here." She turned to Kitty and Lydia. "That also includes perfect behavior."
Kitty and Lydia rolled their eyes, followed by a, "Yes, mother." Lydia added, "I don't see why we should make such a big fuss. If he's going to be our brother, he might as well see us as we really are."
Mrs. Bennet put one hand on her hip and with the other, pointed at Lydia. "We've already gone through this before, Lydia. You don't get another chance for a first impression. After today, you can act like your charming self whenever we see Charles, but today. . . today you'll act as if-"
"I know. As if he's the president himself."
"Right." She looked at Kitty. "Didn't I tell you to change out of your shorts?"
"Mom."
"Kitty."
Kitty let out an exasperated sigh. She turned to Jane. "Like he's never seen a pair of shorts before."
"When it's your fiancé you're bringing home, you can wear your shorts on your head for all I care, but since it's not, until then, go put on a skirt or even a pair of pants."
Elizabeth sat back and watched her mother take charge of the whole scene. She was now straightening out the figurines on the mantel while asking Jane if Charles preferred Earl Gray or Darjeeling tea in the afternoon.
Lydia was put to work polishing the oak coffee table for the tenth time. Then she heard Kitty bounding down the stairs and her mother responding, "Ladies walk down stairs." Kitty made a face behind her mother's back. Then their mother responded with, "Kitty, go polish the tea things."
"But, mom-"
"I shouldn't have to ask twice."
Kitty huffed and walked towards the kitchen.
Elizabeth stood up. "I'll help Kitty." She followed her into the kitchen.
Kitty put the already spotless tea tray on the kitchen island. They both stared at it, then burst out laughing.
After a moment, Elizabeth said, "I guess she's a little nervous about meeting Charles."
Kitty snorted. "That's the understatement of the year." She picked up a teaspoon and polished it. "We had to convince her we could pick our own outfits for today."
Elizabeth laughed. "Really?"
"Yes! Never mind that I'm going to college in the fall and Lydia is a sophomore in high school." She shook her head. "I know she means well though."
"She does." Elizabeth wiped the outside of a tea cup. "You know she wouldn't be so. . . concerned if. . ."
Kitty looked up at her sister. "Yeah, I know. I think that's why she's taking this so seriously. At least when Uncle Gardiner talked to her about Charles, it kind of made her feel a little better."
"What did Uncle Gardiner say?"
Kitty shrugged. "Not much. Just enough to let her know that Charles is a good man."
Elizabeth smiled. "She's going to be very happy."
Lydia walked in. "If I polish that table one more time-"
Kitty handed her a clean towel. "You can polish the tea stuff."
Lydia groaned. "Didn't we polish all of this stuff this morning?"
"Yes, but do you want to go back to polishing the table?"
"No," grumbled out of Lydia's mouth. She picked up another tea cup. "So, what were you guys talking about?"
"We were talking about mom."
Lydia rolled her eyes. "She's changed so much. I can't even go out anymore without an inquisition about where I'm going and who I'll be with."
Elizabeth looked at her sister. "Lydia, things are different for mom now."
Lydia let out a long sigh. "I know." After a moment, she said, "I just wish. . . Sometimes I wish things were the way they were before. Not because it was easier for me, but. . . well, I just wish mom didn't feel like she has to take so much responsibility for us."
Kitty did not look up. "Well, what did you expect? I think dad's death really hit her hard and she realized she was on her own."
Elizabeth stared at her two sisters.
Lydia looked at Elizabeth. "What?"
She blinked several times. "It's just. . . you two have had to grow up so fast."
Lydia raised an eyebrow at Elizabeth. "I mean, I know we're not little girls anymore and it's been a while since we've all lived together, but this was going to happen eventually."
Kitty elbowed her sister. "I don't think that's what she meant, Lydia."
Lydia rubbed her arm. "Then what did you mean?"
Elizabeth gave her sisters a small smile. "Just that. . . if dad were here, he would be very proud of they way you two have turned out."
Kitty and Lydia stared at their older sister. They were old enough to know their father before he passed away, but they were not close to him as Jane and Elizabeth were. They both smiled at their sister.
"Girls! Girls! Charles is here."
Lydia took in a deep breath. "Let's get this over with."
Elizabeth lead the way. "He's really a nice guy."
"Good." Kitty had a small smile on her face. "When are you going to bring someone home for us to meet?"
Lydia added, "Yeah. So that by the time it's our turn, mom will have already gotten it of her system and won't be as neurotic."
She turned to her sisters. "Didn't you know? I'll die single, but use my teaching experience to teach all my nieces and nephews to read and play the piano, but not very well I'm afraid."
Kitty and Lydia laughed at their sister and soon joined Jane and their mother with a smiling Charles waiting for them.
"Elizabeth! It's so good to see you again." He walked over and kissed her cheek.
"It's good to see you again too." She turned to her sisters. "These are my sisters, Kitty and Lydia."
"I'm very pleased to finally meet both of you."
Kitty greeted him with a graciousness that even surprised their mother. "I'm very happy to meet you to. I hope we see you here more often."
Lydia, however, was not as gracious. "It's nice meeting you, Charles. Charles? Do you have a nickname? Oh! How about Chazz? Charles is so formal."
"Lydia!" Mrs. Bennet's voice was full of reproach.
"Well, if he's going to be my brother, why shouldn't I be able to call him by a nickname?"
Mrs. Bennet's eyes narrowed on her youngest child. "Lydia."