Posted on Tuesday, 5 February 2002
This is a round-robin story with each segment written by a different person.
"Ooooh, Mr. Bennet!" the man's wife exclaimed as they rode home from the grocery one day "Have you heard that Netherfield has been let at last?! What a good thing for our daughters!"
"Oh, how can it affect them, my dear?" Mr. Bennet laughed quietly to himself, since he knew perfectly well what his wife would reply.
"Mr. Bennet!" Mrs. Bennet gasped, "How can you be silly?! We will finally have a chance to get one of them married and off our hands! Whichever one captures the heart of our neighbour can introduce the others to young men"
Mr. Bennet raised his eyes to heaven and sighed heavily.
Mrs. Bennet looked coyly at her husband through her eyelashes before continuing;
"And with the girls gone, we will have more time to..." she blushed, "...ourselves."
Mr. Bennet looked aghast at his blushing wife and began to cough.
"Do let me know when I shall have to lay out money for the wedding." With a wry look, he rose from his seat.
"But shall you not visit with me to welcome them to the neighbourhood? We cannot plan a wedding if our daughters are not acquainted with them."
At this point, the front door slammed open. "I can't believe that conceited, rude, unimaginable jerk!" Elizabeth Bennet stormed in to the house, clearly on the warpath. "How is it possible to ask someone out and yet take shots at their lifestyle and station in life. Artists are beneath him! I'll show him artistic temperament!"
"Lizzy you must calm yourself. He was just nervous and rambling." Catherine Morland had followed Elizabeth in. The others were following at a respectful distance. They knew not to get in Elizabeth's way when she was on the warpath.
"Did Henry say things like that to you when he asked you out the first time?" screamed Lizzy.
"Lizzy! There's no need to take your anger out on Cathy. You were so calm when you refused Mr. Darcy, why are you getting all worked up now?" asked the beautiful Jane, Lizzy's older sister.
"I know," added their sister Mary. "You didn't even get this mad when that jerk George Wickham cheated on you. You just pushed him out a window." In case you couldn't tell Mary was the third sister and the comedian of the family.
"First of all, it was a first story window. Second of all, the only reason I didn't knock Mr. high-and-mighty Darcy's block off for that shot against painters was that he's your fiancé's friend, Jane." Lizzy sounded slightly calmer but not much. Mrs. Bennet fainted upon hearing that Jane was engaged to the rich Mr. Bingley. This improved Lizzy's mood even more.
"Lizzy, I know you haven't had the best of luck with guys lately but I could find you someone nice. How about my friend George Knightley. He's cute, and sweet and kind and thoughtful and loyal and smart and dreamy..."
"No, Emma, thanks but no thanks. I am never ever dating another guy named George," declared Lizzy.
Catherine finally got up the courage to join the conversation again. "Lizzy, I still don't get why you're so worked up about Will. Just ignore him."
Lizzy sat down on the front stairs with a sigh. "But I like him." She put her face in her hands as the others went over to hug her.
Meanwhile next door....
Darcy was in a fix.
"Georgianna, Why can't I have a sensible conversation with Miss Bennet? It seems the minute I open my mouth, I hurt her feelings and she gets angry with me."
Georgianna was a sensible girl. She knew that Darcy and Elizabeth were in love. She just wished they would figure it out for themselves.
"Darcy, why don't you write her a nice letter of apology? I have always found that I think clearly when I have a chance to write it down."
"Yes, yes, I should that way she can't stop me in mid thought and blow everything out of proportion. She'll have to read it first and then get mad."
Georgianna shook her head.
If this is what love is like, she thought, I would rather have a pug dog.
"Will, Send her some of the roses from the Garden. They are so lovely, they will make a wonderful peace offering."
Jane and Elizabeth were coming down the stairs for breakfast the following morning when there was a knock on the door. Through the entryway of the breakfast room flew two girls, sliding into each other and across the hall, right past the front door, into the front parlor across the way. Jane and Elizabeth looked at each other, mystified, as they heard a huge crash.
Elizabeth was the first down to the bottom step as the knocking on the door sounded again, and Lydia and Kit came out of the parlor, holding their hands to whichever parts of their bodies hurt the most. Kit looked over at her two sisters on the stairs as Lydia went to the door, and said in explanation, "Mom forgot to mention she waxed the floor last night."
Elizabeth glanced into the parlor as Lydia continued flirting with whoever it was outside the door, and saw that the coffee table had been knocked against an end table, and one of their mother's favorite vases was smashed on the floor.
"Oooooooh!" came two high-pitched squeals from the front door.
"Lizzy, come see!"
Unsure if she really wanted to find out what was going on, she went to the door and looked out. There on the front porch was a man she had never seen in her life before, holding two dozen red roses and an envelope with her name on it.
To say that Elizabeth was shocked would be an understatement. "Who is this from?"
"Are you Elizabeth Bennet?" he asked. When she nodded, he held the letter and flowers out to her. She took them slowly, extreme puzzlement still written across her face.
"Lizzy's got a boooyy-friend, Lizzy's got a boooyy-friend," the two girls chanted, breaking out into giggles.
Elizabeth rolled her eyes. "Aren't you two a little old for that?"
Lydia laughed and chirped, "Nevah!" The two then turned and ran back into the breakfast room, Kit stumbling into Lydia slightly as they slid in their socks on the polished floor, setting off another round of giggles.
Elizabeth turned to Jane as she thanked the man and closed the door. "Now, who do you suppose these are from?" She asked.
Jane was confused, as well. "I don't know, Lizzy. Open the card."
Elizabeth smiled. "I suppose I could." She ripped it open and began to read, her smile fading as she read further. With a sudden growl, she threw the flowers onto the table in the hall and ran out the door, her face set and her eyes burning with anger.
Jane picked up the letter and began reading.
VO: I can no longer listen in silence. I must speak to you with such means as are within my reach. You pierce my soul. . I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone for ever. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it, eight years and a half ago. Dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you. Unjust I may have been, weak and resentful I have been, but never inconstant. You alone have brought me to Bath. For you alone, I think and plan. Have you not seen this? Can you fail to have understood my wishes? I had not waited even these ten days, could I have read your feelings, as I think you must have penetrated mine. I can hardly write. I am every instant hearing something which overpowers me. You sink your voice, but I can distinguish the tones of that voice when they would be lost on others. Too good, too excellent creature! You do us justice, indeed. You do believe that there is true attachment and constancy among men. Believe it to be most fervent, most undeviating, in F. D.
I must go, uncertain of my fate; but I shall return hither, or follow your party, as soon as possible. A word, a look, will be enough to decide whether I enter your father's house this evening or never.
Realization dawned. The stupid git had sent the wrong letter! No wonder Lizzy was cross.
Jane entered Elizabeth's room only to find that her sister wasn't there. Her window was wide open, the strong summer breeze blowing the drapes madly about.
Elizabeth's bed had been stripped of it's coverings and she had fashioned a rope out of them.
It took Jane a moment to realize that Elizabeth had been driven to escape!
As Lizzy stomped along the road to Netherfield she muttered under her breath words no true lady should ever know, let alone speak. In fact she startled Robert Martin so much that he fell head first into a conveniently located ditch.
This did not deter our Lizzy, she simply turned her head, and exclaimed "Men, you're all idiots. If you had any sense at all, you'd march right into Mrs. Goddard's parlour (á la Richard Gere naturally), hoist Harriet Smith up into your arms and be gone, but oh, no, you just mope and play the 'perfect gentleman' whenever she's around. There's no such thing. Speaking of which, where's that Darcy.... I'll give him wrong letter"
With this she continued her stalk. As Mr. Martin ('Bob' to all his friends), heaved himself out of ever so conveniently located ditch he was rather glad he wasn't in Mr. Darcy's rather well made boots at that moment.
Having dispensed with her little piece of advice (which 'Bob' immediately planned to execute) Lizzy crossed the dual carriageway narrowly being missed my a speeding Bus (that was late mind you), ignored a guy on a yamaha motor bike who wolf whistled despite going 40 miles an hour, avoided the traffic coming from the other direction and carried on despite the lights being green when she reached the traffic island.
"I say Lizzy is that you?" Mr. Bingley called out from his black Porsche having stopped to avoid the obviously livid woman causing traffic problems on the busy Meryton Highway.
Lizzy lifted her eyes from the road and set her blazing glare at Bingley who surprisingly enough attempt to take a step back only causing him to stall his engine.
He cringed as his future sister in law turned and stalked towards his door.
"Where's your friend Bings."
Charles never heard Elizabeth address him as 'that' before and cringed even further down into his seat.
"A...At Netherfield of course... why is there something the matter." curiosity getting the better of him.
"Is there anything the matter..." Lizzy muttered under her breath. She looked up the road and noticed the spaghetti junction like intersection that was the next obstacle on her route to Netherfield. Well she wouldn't make it before lunch by the way things were going. And she seriously wanted to maintain the temper she was in right now when she got to Netherfield. She turned her gaze back to the black Porsche in front of her.
Bingley didn't like the glint in her eyes as she set her hands to her hips and starred at him.
"Out Charles." she commanded.
That was a command spoken in a voice that was not to be disobeyed. Darcy was certainly in for it... whatever 'it' was.
Charles hastily unclipped his seat belt and exited his car. He stepped quickly away from his most precious Porsche (well second most precious item) and watched as Lizzy got into the vehicle, adjusted things to her liking closed the door and said a quick "See you at Netherfield" before flooring it and narrowly avoiding two lines of traffic which had just began to cross in front of her.
Charles knew when to avoid World War Three and decided to walk towards Longbourn instead. He'd much prefer surprising Jane at breakfast than surprising whatever Lizzy had in store for Darcy.
Once they were back in Jane's room, Emma waited until Catherine and Jane had begun a discussion about bridesmaid dress before she announced that she had to leave under the pretense of checking in at the office. She went back into Lizzy's room, grabbed the letter and ran into Mary's room. Unfortunately, Mary was not alone.
"Hey Emma, how's your booooy-friend George," cooed Lydia.
"Lydia, for the last freaking time, he's not my boyfriend," seethed Emma.
Mary sensing imminent disaster of nuclear proportions from Emma's side of the room, shoved Lydia and Kitty out of her room, said she'd help them with their homework later, then yelled, "Mom, Lydia and Kitty turned down a double date with those two guys from the football team," and shut the door.
She brushed her hands together. "There, that lecture should keep them busy for a good two hours. What's up?"
Emma shook herself out of her distracted thoughts of George and showed Mary the letter.
"Isn't this the letter from Persuasion?" asked Mary.
"Yes, and look on the back. It's a critical review. Obviously there's been some sort of mix up."
Half an hour later.
"You handed it in to your professor? How can you not tell the difference between the envelope of a love letter and the envelope you put your own English lit assignment in?" exclaimed Mary in the general direction of the trembling delivery boy.
"Mary, they can hear you in Peru and you're scaring him," Emma broke in, "That's not helpful."
"Well he's not the one who has to live with Lizzy on the warpath," pouted Mary.
Emma ignored her. "Who is your English lit prof?"
"Henry Tilney, ma'am." At this point he was cowering so far back in his chair that it tipped over.
"Well thank heavens for small mercies. He probably wasn't even planning to look at the papers for another week. You've lucked out kid, because this good news has put me in a good mood, I'll give Henry your assignment instead of burning it as I originally planned," smirked Mary.
Emma warned him to be more careful next time before she and Mary went back to the car and drove off to Henry's office.
Suddenly, Emma's cellphone rang. "Emma's phone."
"Emma it's George, I was just driving to Netherfield to discuss business with Darcy when I found Lizzy Bennet. She's absolutely hysterical. What on Earth is going on?"
"It's such a long story, George. You have to help us. There's been a huge misunderstanding. Above all things don't let Lizzy and Will within 200 meters of each other until we have this straightened out."
"Well of course I'll help Emma, but where should I take her?"
"Mars, Hawaii, Ibiza...oh! Take her to the office and tell her you need help with those graphic layouts we were fussing with yesterday. That should distract her for a good long time. Don't let her out of your sight. She's already pulled a houdini from her bedroom. When she's distracted call Bingley and Georgiana and tell them that Darcy's continued ability to breathe depends on keeping him at Netherfield, away from Elizabeth for the rest of the day." She broke off and listened to Mary. "Oh and George, Mary says not to let her have too much coffee, she's worked up enough."
"Sure thing Emma dear."
"thank you so much George, you're my hero."
"Stop Emma you're making me blush.
They hung up just as Mary and Emma arrived at Henry's office. When they barged into his office, he was kissing Catherine passionately (that's the highpriestess' first corollary of fanfiction). They jumped apart and Cathy stammered, "I brought Henry a picnic lunch."
Mary laughed, "He didn't seem too interested."
"Oh trust me, I was interested," retorted Henry.
Emma and Mary explained the situation with occasional additions from Catherine.
Henry rolled his eyes, "Honestly, that Thorpe kid doesn't pay attention to anything but girls and cars. We'd better switch." He looked around frantically.
"I think we knocked the pile on to the floor, Henry." Catherine started to blush furiously.
"Not a word from either of you two smart-mouths." When it appeared that none was forthcoming, he went throw the pile and found the infamous letter. "Okay, this time we can't let them mess this up, it's been going on long enough. We'd better get everyone to Netherfield to mediate."
"We need organizing," Emma was now in her element. "Mary, call Jane and Georgiana. Cathy call Bingley and tell him to send Caroline shopping. Then the two of you take Mary's car and go to Netherfield and make sure Darcy has no advance warning and that there are no sharp or throwable objects around. Henry, you and I will take your car back to my office and pickup George and Lizzy. When she figures out she being taken to Darcy, George will need backup."
They all put the plan in motion.
"But why must I go shopping?" Caroline Bingley asked suspiciously.
Charles looked around desperately and decided that there was nothing that he could tie her up with....There was that large vase, but knocking her unconscious probably wasn't a wise bet either.
"Well, Carrie, consider it an early birthday gift." He grinned and handed her his credit card without flinching (something miraculous indeed).
Caroline accepted the credit card, not buying her brother's story entirely.
"Let me say good-bye to Will before I go." She smiled sweetly and was out the door before he could protest.
"Will dearest."
Darcy cringed at the sugary sweet sound of Caroline Bingley calling out to him halfway down the corridor. Quickly he ducked back into the Study where he'd been hiding out for most of the morning.
He considered opening the window and climbing out but after one brief look down he lost his nerve. Unbeknown to any living being (yes not even Georgianna) he had an intense fear of heights that caused him to palpitate and go all dizzy. He hastily retreated from the window and leaned on the large desk behind him.
The heavy oak door creaked and as he whirled around he knew who it was before he even set eyes on her.
"There you are Will."
Caroline was smiling and looking at him in a very peculiar way. As his heart beat resumed it's normal rhythm he noticed the small card she was holding in her raised hand.
Meanwhile, a few miles away, in an office.
Lizzy stood fuming behind the half closed door as she caught the last bit of George Knightley's conversation.
"I knew it... I knew never to trust anybody with the name George."
She looked around her for a quick escape. The only door out of the room lead straight to George 'Nice Guy' Knightley. There was only one way to get out of here.
Lizzy grabbed a chair and set it below the curtains. She quickly unhooked the curtains from the rail and began tying the end to make one long rope.
Quickly and expertly she opened the window tightened the curtain 'rope' to the chair and threw it out. Edging out onto the ledge she looked down. She wasn't afraid of heights. No siree. She revelled in the fact that she was dicing with death... well maybe not death. It was only the second storey after all. She lowered herself off the ledge and hung onto the edge for a moment before testing the 'rope'. Well if she fell it would only be a 10 foot drop.
By the time she'd dropped to the pavement and walked a good few yards down the road George had got off the phone and come back into the room. The empty room...
Lizzy landed lightly in a rather overgrown patch of lambs ear, "a very soft landing spot," she thought to herself, and began to make her way towards, well, AWAY from George Knightley, George Wickham, Darcy, Jane, Emma, Cathy, and well, everyone who was telling her what to do, and annoying her.
She started running down the road, and was soon panting for breath. She had never been "big" on physical education, and, while many would (snidely) call her an "excellent walker", no one, she was sure, would ever call her an excellent runner.
She ran far enough so that she was sure she was out of sight of "Mr. Nice Guy", and then stopped and began to walk slowly, looking down, and gasping for breath. All of a sudden she saw a pair of shoes standing right in front of her, and looked up to find...
"Rick Fitzwilliam", Lizzy whispered, breathless.
"Hiya Liz?!" Rick 'Colonel' Fitzwilliam replied. "I always seem to have that affect of making girls speechless," he continued with a grin. "I'm glad to see you aren't an exception."
"I'm sorry Rick, but I can't stay and chat. I -- umm, I have to go home. I have a pie in the oven."
"Well, then, why were you running this way? Your house is on the other side of town."
"I - ah - left my car parked at the harbor a few blocks from here. I was on my way to get it..." Lizzy stammered.
Why did he have to ask so many questions?!?! However, he was about as dense as a block of cement, and it was obvious that he didn't think something fishy was up.
"Well, I'll give you some company then."
They walked in silence for a few yards, while Lizzy frantically tried to come up with a way to escape, and the Colonel was just smiling brightly.
"Why, oh WHY does everyone in this town feel like my life is their business?! Its obvious that Will and I don't get along, so why don't they just leave us alone."
At that thought, Lizzy had a brilliant idea...
"Fitzwilliam," Elizabeth said, suddenly bright, "How would you like to do me a favor?"
Richard Fitzwilliam, never one to deny a lady anything, grinned. "Well, Lizzy, what did you have in mind?"
"A picnic. I know this incredible place. It's in the park at Netherfield, but I don't think anybody will see us." It was a lie. The spot she was thinking of was practically on the front lawn.
Knowing that he was being used, but unable to resist the lovely Elizabeth Bennet, he agreed, secretly hoping for his chance to prove his love to her.
As Emma and Henry drove up to the Donwell Advertising Agency where George putatively was keeping an eye on Lizzy, they saw her getting into a car with Richard. They both groaned.
"I should have known she wouldn't stay put. George has always been too indulgent of spoiled girls," complained Emma.
"You'd know," answered Henry. He shielded his face with his arms at her scowl of disapproval.
"I am not spoiled! Just because George lets me have my own way once in a while..."
George, having just noticed that (a) Lizzy was gone and (b) Emma and Henry were there, came running up to the car in time to hear the last exchange. As he got in, he said, "Emma, I've been thinking and we are going to have a long chat about just that subject my darling after this little soap opera is concluded."
Emma was so dazed by his smooth use of the term 'my darling' and the really intense look he was giving her to hear Henry mutter, "Yeah, like the two of you aren't soap operatic." He immediately started driving.
"Where are we going?" asked Emma breathlessly, still looking at George.
"Um hi Emma, welcome back to Earth. Remember, that place where your brilliant plan has been torn to shreds because Lizzy's escaped.
Emma snapped back to reality. "That's right we have to get to Netherfield. Lizzy may not like our interference, but since that was her original destination it stands to reason that she'd go there. George, call Charles, Jane and Georgiana and warn them that the bird has flown the coop."
"The duck flies at midnight, General Emma!" joked George as he pulled out his cellphone.
"Henry, on the way to Netherfield we need to make a detour," she said as she dialed on her own cell. "Cathy, Lizzy is gone and probably on her way to Netherfield, you two need to get there ASAP. Tell Mary to floor it!"
When Emma got off the phone, she explained the slightly amended plan to Henry and George.
Luckily, only Charles and Will's cars were visible on the driveway at Netherfield when Lizzy and Richard arrived. Let's face it, Lizzy was two steps from going postal. Mary had come up with the somewhat inspired idea of taking Charles and will's cars out of the garage and hiding her own car, Jane's car and Georgiana's car in there so as to avoid the appearance of a conspiracy.
So, seemingly being on the point of achieving her goal of telling Will to get bent, Lizzy was in a far better mood than previously. "Thank you for bringing me here Richard."
"So where is this romantic spot?"
"Right here."
"What on Earth are you talking about?"
Lizzy told him of the events of the day and explained her intention of consigning his cousin to the deepest pits of heck.
"So basically, you used me to get at my cousin," murmured Richard.
"I'll admit that I was angry and I have led you on in this particular instance and I'm sorry Richard. But I've repeatedly told you that I don't have those sort of feelings for you," hedged Lizzy moving to get out of the car.
Richard engaged the powerlocks. "Just a second Lizzy, I think I deserve a better apology than that. I'm in love with you and you've known it for years."
Lizzy's temper boiled over once more. "Richard, you are a conceited jerk, do you know that? You've never been in love with me and I've always made it clear that I think of you as a friend. And not a very good one right now. For the last time. You are not, nor have you ever been in love with me. I am just one of the few women who don't swoon in your presence and are unattached. This apparently makes me irresistible to you. You are so delusional."
At this, Richard got a bit angry too. But not too angry because he is charming. "Fine, I'll never make a move on you again if that's how you feel. But I'm not the only one who's delusional here. You and Will have been in love and circling each other for a year. Just this morning he wrote you a letter telling you how much he wishes the two of you could get along and how much he loves you. And you're still angry at him. For crying out loud! Of course he says thing that upset you, his brain disconnects from his mouth when you get within 100 meters of him. And you know quite well that if you didn't love him back you wouldn't give a rat's behind what he said," he ranted, steadily
increasing in volume.
Lizzy screamed, reach over disengaged the power locks and stormed out of the car and into Netherfield.
Richard groaned. "I think I made it worse." He followed her in.
"This has been happening all day! We're always one step behind her!" exclaimed Emma as she, Henry and George watched Lizzy and Richard charge into Netherfield.
"Well what do you expect from Lizzy?" said the secret weapon with a snort.
They got inside just as the fire works went off.
"You insult me in every possible way and then send me a letter of apology that not only doesn't apply to us, but is lifted from a book?" screamed Lizzy being somewhat restrained by Jane, Mary and Cathy.
"I pour my heart and soul out to you and you're still mad at me? What do you want blood?" retorted Will being held back by Charles, Richard and Georgiana.
Emma, Henry and George burst into the room. "Lizzy, I know you're angry at all of us for trying to arrange your life. But we love you and we don't want to see you throw away a chance to be happy. And Will shut up a minute, we're trying to help you too."
"Can't you feel the love?" deadpanned Henry.
They all turned a glared at him. Well, Cathy kind of smiled. He winked at her.
"Lizzy," George said, feeling this episode was going to get nowhere fast if someone didn't get the ball rolling, "there was a mix up at the flower delivery shop. Long story short, you got some kid's English lit essay. This is the real letter Will wrote you." He took it from Emma and gave it to Lizzy.
Lizzy sat on the couch, suddenly looking very vulnerable and unsure. She looked at Will. "You wrote me a letter to apologize?"
He nodded, "Lizzy, I don't know what is, but I never say what I really mean when I'm with you. Georgie suggested I write it down to get it clear in my head. And it is clear now, very clear." He gave her the look.
Lizzy almost overpowered by the look, whispered, "I thought you really meant those things you said and sent me the other letter to make fun of me."
"I would never deliberately do anything to hurt you Lizzy."
Lizzy opened the envelope and read the letter.
Dearest Lizzy,I can only hope that you will understand that I never meant to say anything insulting to you this morning. I just couldn't get the right words out of my mouth. Lizzy, I love you with all my heart and soul and when I saw the look of hurt on your face I felt like a piece of me was hurt too. Because although I tried to deny it, you are a part of me Lizzy. You are the subject of my thoughts, the comfort of my soul and the keeper of my heart.
I might only make you upset again, but I have to try and explain properly what I said. Better still, I shall try to explain what I meant. I meant that even though we didn't appear to be the perfect couple, even though we disagreed on so many things, I love you. I can't picture myself spending the next seventy or so years with anyone else.
I started that conversation this morning, not with the intention of asking you on a date but of asking you to marry me. There is nothing that could make me happier than to spend the rest of my life showing you how much I love you. Will you be my wife?
William Darcy
When she looked up, Will was watching her expectantly. "Oh Will I don't know..."
"Lizzy for crying out loud, if you don't accept that proposal Kitty and I are telling mom!" yelled Lydia.
Emma was horrified. "Lydia, we brought you two here to watch Caroline."
"We took care of it." Lydia stepped aside to reveal Caroline who had indeed not left the house. She was bound and gagged on the floor in the hall with Kitty sitting on her back. "Now I'm not supposed to tell you this, but we read that letter. You've been mooning over him for a year. You love him and you know it. Marry him, or deal with mom!"
Mary interjected, "Lizzy, you know you wanted him to propose. That's why you moped for days when he accompanied Charles when he came to ask Dad's permission to marry Jane."
"And the two of you make such a good team," said Emma and George simultaneously.
"You've changed Will's whole attitude towards life," added Georgiana.
"Okay, okay, you've all convince me." Lizzy went over, sat in Will's lap and kissed him. "I'll marry you. But only on one condition. Emma and George have to stop circling each other too!"
"Done," said George. He grabbed Emma and kissed her. Emma was speechless for once.
And they all live happily ever after. Including Caroline who realized that if people had to resort to tying her up to promote the inevitable then it was time for her to get a life.