Section I, Next Section
Elizabeth punched her locker as she fiddled with the lock. Damn Caroline! She was the biggest bitch in creation. Another one of the never-ending freshmen came up to her and asked about her 'boyfriend'. Why didn't anyone tell me? Elizabeth sighed in exasperation.
"Who told you I had a boyfriend?" she asked the unknown, curious girl.
"Ummm Caroline." Who else? Elizabeth thought, rolling her eyes.
"Well, I don't have a boyfriend."
"But what about Wills?"
"Wills? You mean Wills Darcy?"
"Yeah. She said you were going out."
"Well, I'm not. And if you want to know something true, Caroline has been in love with Wills for months. Heaven knows why she picked me to be jealous of, because all we are and all we ever want to be are friends. But we're hardly that anymore because of Caroline." She faced the girl and stared her down. "Remember that the next time you want to tell someone something." The girl nodded dumbly and hurried away without a backward glance. 'ARGHHHH!' Elizabeth pounded her locker again as she screamed inside her head. And then-- no, it couldn't be. But it was.
"Excuse me--" another one. Elizabeth slammed the locker door shut and rounded on the girl.
"No, I do not go out with Wills Darcy! No, I am not going to ask him out. If you want to know if he is going to ask me out, you'd better ask him yourself!" She whirled off leaving the shell-shocked girl stranded on her own little island in the middle of the hallway.
As she walked into English, her friend Charlotte, a junior, came running up.
"Elizabeth!"
Elizabeth stopped and turned. "Hey, Char. What's up?"
"What's this I hear about you and Wills Darcy?"
Elizabeth groaned and put one hand to her forehead.
"Not you too!" she begged.
"Too?" the older girl was confused.
"Caroline has been telling everyone, his brother, and his dog that:
1) Wills and I are going out
2) I like him and am going to ask him out
3) He likes me and is going to ask me out
4) We've had sex several times
And none of them are true! Well," she amended, "I already told you that I
like him, but I don't go out with him, nor am I going to ask him out! And as
for him asking me out, I seriously doubt it!"
Charlotte looked doubtful.
"Well, according to Georgia, who is practically his sister, he likes you." Elizabeth looked at Charlotte with one eyebrow raised, the picture of patent disbelief.
"Uh huh. And I'm the Wicked Witch of the West." She groaned again as a girl behind her gasped and ran to talk to her friend down the hall.
She pointed at Elizabeth and said, in an audible voice,
"That's what she said! The Wicked Witch of the West!"
The friend gasped and replied, "But Dorothy melted her!"
"I know! But she's back!"
Elizabeth looked from the girls to Charlotte and back and opened and closed her mouth like a fish out of water. She was beyond speech. Finally, her gestures of incredulity brought her tongue back from the cat.
"Did you hear that?! No wonder rumors start so easily! By the end of the day, either they'll have me being Glinda or riding around on a broomstick sending flu!"
When Charlotte stopped laughing, she brought the conversation back to the original topic.
"Anyway, I've told everyone who's asked me that it's totally wrong, and that they should know better than to listen to Caroline."
Elizabeth smiled a little faintly. "Thanks. I'll see you later."
During English, as she was supposed to be listening to two of her classmates read "The Merchant of Venice" with appalling expression, grammar, and tone, Elizabeth examined this encounter. As far as she could tell, not only had the entire world heard the tale, they were spreading it as fast as they could, with appropriate embellishments.
"Grrrr," she thought, clenching her fists. "If that Caroline isn't careful, I may be forced to hurt her. Hopefully permanently." Her friend Kristen, who sat next to her, nudged her. Elizabeth turned,
"What?" Kristen gestured her head in the direction of Mrs. DeBourgh. Elizabeth looked, and saw the 'old dragon' looking at her pointedly. "Oh. I'm sorry, Mrs. DeBourgh, what was the question?" The teacher shook her head.
"I just asked if you would take over the part of Portia for Rebecca," Mrs. DeBourgh said pointedly. Elizabeth looked hurriedly at one of her friends, who shook her head apologetically. "Sorry Liz, I have a really sore throat." Elizabeth sighed. She really didn't want to be Portia at the moment; she had carefully avoided being cast as the heroine when asked- she did not want to tell any of the immature males in her class that she loved them. She'd had enough of that last year when Mrs. DeBourgh had insisted she be Juliet. She loved Shakespeare's plays, but reading them in a class filled with people who took hours over a page, didn't get any of the jokes, and gave her weird looks when she laughed was basically torture. She sighed again, and said,
"Sure, Mrs. DeBourgh."
"Good grief!" Elizabeth cried. "What the hell does he think he's doing?" Kristen shrugged.
"I don't know, Elizabeth. Charlotte thinks he likes you, but he loves having your friendship and doesn't want to screw it up because he doesn't know if you like him back." Elizabeth groaned.
"Please, Kris, that is the most melodramatic trashy-romance novel plot it has ever been my misfortune to hear. Give me a break-- I mean, Wills could have anyone- why would he suddenly choose me out of the blue? I'm a great friend, but I've never gone out with anyone before. I don't think he's a virgin, either. I mean, we have conversations about his girls- like Ariel and Leanne...the list goes on. He seems to choose skanky girls on purpose. And everyone knows what you get from skanky girls, and it sure isn't conversation. Wills knows how I feel about sex- not until I'm married. And he knows that I will walk out without a second thought on anyone who tries to get me to compromise my principles. He even respects that. He thinks it's great. So why would he want me when he knows I won't give him any?"
As she walked into Global Studies, Elizabeth saw her friend Sabrina waving.
"Hey, what's up?" she asked, plopping down into the seat
"Elizabeth, what's going on with you and Wills?" Elizabeth groaned.
"Not you too!" Sabrina shrugged, mystified.
"What? I didn't think there was anything, but I wasn't sure."
"Ina, honest-to-God, we are just friends. I would certainly have told you and Jane and Shannon if anything happened. You know that."
"Yeah, I know, but I know you like him, too. Admit it."
"Yes. OK, everyone, I like Wills Darcy. No, we are not going out, no, we are not having sex, so just go back into your own sad little lives and leave mine alone!" Sabrina stared at her usually sunny friend in complete astonishment.
"Calm down, girl! What is wrong with you today? No one is accusing you of going out or sleeping with the most wanted guy in school." Elizabeth rolled her eyes.
"Yeah? You wanna bet?"
"OK, what happened now?"
"Well, apparently not only are we going out, but we've been sleeping together for the past month."
"That's what I said. Luckily enough people know I'm not like that, or I might now also be called a slut, as well as 'bitch' and have such more unkind comments directed at me such as, 'Who the hell does she think she is, to take Wills Darcy? Ugh, what does he see in her?'" Sabrina shook her head at this.
"Don't pay attention to them. They're jealous, naturally, but they also know damn well that they couldn't get him if they arrived in his bedroom butt naked. Besides, what do you care what a bunch of stupid freshmen think?"
Elizabeth sighed. "It's not even so much the freshmen girls. They are annoying, 'cause they're the ones who keep coming up and asking me if it's true, but juniors and especially seniors. Even his friends, like Alexis Burnett and Laura Browne give me dirty looks in the halls. Erica Bartlett likes me, and so does Georgia, but every other girl in the school is like, on a personal vendetta against me because of something that's not even true."
"Oooohhh, SAT word!" Sabrina teased, and both girls laughed. Sabrina stopped first, and asked, "What are you going to do about Caroline?"
Elizabeth shrugged. "If Wills doesn't stop avoiding me, I'm going to have to call him or write him a note or something. I'll probably write a note; his parents know me, and are likely to ask uncomfortable questions."
Sabrina nodded. "Yeah, I've seen his parents before, but I've never met them."
"I met them at a Cross-country meet in September, and they remember me and wave and stuff."
"They're nice, though, right?"
"Yeah. Very nice- but they're generally really laid back. My guess would be Wills gets his drive from his mother, but I'm not sure. And his brother- Chris? You know him, right? Always grinning? Freshman?"
"Oh, yeah. His face always looks like it's being split in half. He's nice, too."
"He is. Anyway, Wills smiles rarely, and Chris smiles all the time. It's like he's trying to balance the family out."
Sabrina chuckled. "He might be, at that. Do they have any other siblings?"
"Mmhhmm. Tim- he's eleven- two years older than Scott. Chris is two years older than Magda, and Wills is two years older than me. Quite a collection, huh."
"Yup. Anyway, what are you going to ask Wills to do in the note?"
Elizabeth shrugged. "I think I'll ask him to confront Caroline with me- that way, she can't say that I said something I didn't, or that he said something he didn't. I think that's the best way."
Sabrina nodded. "I agree. Well," she stood. "I'll let you do that. I'm going to the bathroom." She winked at Elizabeth.
"Ah, I see. Bryan is going to be in the hallway?"
Sabrina looked at her innocently. "Why on earth should he be?"
Elizabeth shrugged again. "Well, you might have asked him to . . . or he might have asked you to."
Sabrina smiled. "That's for me to know and you not to find out."
Elizabeth groaned. "That's really pathetically ancient, Ina. Can't you come up with something better than that?"
"No. Not now. Excuse me, I'm expected." With a smug little smile, she swept from the room.
Elizabeth reflected that Sabrina was pretty much the only one who could sweep out of a room wearing bellbottom blue jeans.
Later that day, Elizabeth strode purposefully up to Wills Darcy, who smiled at her, and took the note she proffered with a quizzical look, but didn't say anything.
The contents were as follows:
Dear Wills,As you know, there are rumors about us going around. I don't know if you've heard all of them, but the one's I've heard are
1) I like you and am going to ask you out
2) You like me and are going to ask me out
3) We're already going out
4) We've been sleeping together for the past month
Normally, I prefer to be informed first when it concerns my life, and as far as I know, none of these are true. Caroline is spreading them, you know because she likes you. Heaven knows why she chose me, as we have always just been friends. But she did. I would really appreciate it if you would confront her with me. That way, she can't tell you that I said something I didn't, and she can't tell me that you said something you didn't.
Thanks,
Elizabeth
"Well, what did he say?" Sabrina was agog for information.
Elizabeth shrugged. "Nothing, yet. I hope he answers soon, because break is in a few days. I want this settled by then."
Sabrina looked at her friend. "What do you think she'll do?" Elizabeth shrugged again. She'd been doing that a lot lately.
"I have no idea. I'm hoping she'll go quietly and this whole thing can boil over and be done with, but knowing Caroline it won't be that easy."
Elizabeth didn't see Wills until after break was over. Then it was time for midterms. As she headed to the gym for math, Elizabeth saw Caroline apparently waiting for her. She paused, rolled her eyes, took a deep breath, and went on.
"Elizabeth!" The other girl hurried up, speaking in her placating way. "No one will talk to me-- they're all saying I spread rumors about you. You know that's not true, I never spread rumors." Elizabeth stared at Caroline is disbelief. The girl's inability to keep a secret and her desire for information had made her the most notorious gossip in the school. She spread rumors about everyone. But Caroline wasn't finished. "And Wills--he won't talk to me either. He yelled at me --twice-- and told me to leave you alone, and that if I ever said anything bad about you again he would personally ruin me socially. He said that just because you were too nice to spread rumors about me back didn't mean that they were true, and since you were being nice, he was going to make sure that it was easy for you. Can you talk to him, I don't think we're friends anymore." Elizabeth was still staring, though she had heard what Wills had said in her defense. She could feel warmth curling from her stomach throughout her body at the thought that he'd done that much for her. She smiled delightedly, but said,
"All right, Caroline. I believe you. But I don't have any influence over Wills and I can't say what he'll do." (Besides, bitch, he's never been able to stand you. If you think I can make you friends, you have greatly overestimated my powers of persuasion). Caroline pouted.
"I'm not sure they were just rumors anymore- I mean, no guy would do that for just a friend." Elizabeth smiled again, and agreed silently, but said,
"Honestly, we're just friends. That's all there is to it. Sorry." She smiled sweetly, and strolled into the gym to ace her test.
Later that day, Elizabeth sat with her three best friends, Jane, Sabrina, and Shannon, and told them what Caroline had said. Their reaction was quite good.
"He said what?"
"Please, girl, no guy does that for just a friend!"
"Elizabeth, he must really like you. I mean, he didn't even make you come-- and he took care of it more effectively than you ever could."
"Will you do Spring Track if he asks you out now?" Elizabeth laughed.
"First of all, I would do Spring Track even if he hated me-- I love running. Second, I know-- maybe he does like me as more than a friend! I certainly hope so!" The others smiled.
"Well, don't forget," her best-friend-since-the-first-day-of-kindergarten, Jane, said, "We agreed in third grade that I'm your maid of honor, and Sabrina and Shannon and Magda are your bridesmaids." They giggled.
"Oh-" Elizabeth said. "I showed my mom his picture, and she doesn't think he's that cute-- but she says that our kids will be good looking, and that he will fit very well into our family." The others laughed.
"Yeah- with your cousin who looks like Luke Wilson!" Shannon, who was interested, joked.
Walking to and from school, Elizabeth passed Wills' house. Sometimes he saw her and gave her a ride, but rides home were rare, as they had track practice after school most days. Not during exams, though. Wills saw her exit the school and followed her.
"Hey, Elizabeth, want a ride?" He grinned at her endearingly.
She grinned back, and said, "With a smile like that, who could refuse?" She climbed into the black Jetta. "What's up?"
He shrugged. "How's it going with Caroline? Has she said something else?"
Elizabeth shook her head. "Thanks for taking care of that for me."
He looked surprised. "Sorry? Of what?"
She elbowed him. "Quit it! I know perfectly well what you did. She came up to me today and tried to tell me she had nothing to do with it, what you had said and threatened her with, and then tried to tell me that she wasn't a gossip! Oh, and the icing on the cake was that she asked me to talk to you so you two could be friends again! I didn't tell her you can't stand her, because that would have been mean, but she obviously has greatly overestimated both my influence over you and my powers of persuasion. It'd be like making a dog meow!"
He chuckled at that bit of nonsense, and said, "You don't think what she's done to you merits a little meanness?"
Elizabeth shrugged. "Apart from making most of the girls in the school hate me for capturing the most loved guy, she didn't damage me. All the people who matter know where I stand on the sex thing, and my best friends know that I would have told them if we were going out. I mean, it's not something that one overlooks, your best friend suddenly showing up with a boyfriend."
He nodded. "Well, I think you are probably the nicest, most forgiving person I know-- I don't know if I could do that."
Elizabeth shrugged again. "Well, I kind of wish I wouldn't feel terrible if I said that to her, because I think she deserves it, but I feel really sorry for her, and I don't want to waste my regret on her. Besides, she only does it to get friends."
Wills looked at her. "Wow. How do you do that?"
Elizabeth was surprised. "Do what?"
"Feel sorry for people who've hurt you."
"Well, there has to be a reason, right? She's not mean at heart, and she probably just thought that it would make people pay attention to her. She's starved for it, because few people actually like her, and those few she alienates, like me, by stabbing them in the back." Wills shook his head. The car continued, going past Elizabeth's house. She pointed over her shoulder. "Um, where are we going?"
Wills looked surprised, and then said, "Oh, I thought you deserved at least a double decker waffle cone at Ben and Jerry's for today's performance, and I didn't do too badly myself, so I'm treating us to a celebration."
Elizabeth laughed. "Oh. OK, sounds good."
He handed her his cell-phone. "Do you need to tell your mom?"
She nodded. "Thanks."
"No problem."
At Ben & Jerry's, Elizabeth got a double decker waffle cone of New York Super Fudge Chunk and Cherry Garcia. Wills also got a double decker waffle cone, but with Chubby Hubby and Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough. They each had bites of each others, and had a wonderful time. As they passed the movie theater, Elizabeth saw that Tomb Raider was out, and she remarked on it.
"Ooohh! Tomb Raider is out! I have to go see it."
Wills glanced at her, then back at the road. She wasn't fishing, she was just making a statement. He knew she didn't know what it sounded like, but he went for it anyway.
"Me, too. Want to come with me?"
She looked at him, surprised. "Like a date?"
He nodded. "Yeah, like a date. That OK?"
She nodded. "Sure, I'd love to. When?"
"Friday OK?"
"Uh huh. What time?"
"I think there's one playing at 7, but I'm not sure. I'll call you." Elizabeth grinned happily and settled back in her seat. Wills looked at her again, and burst out laughing. She looked at him in surprise.
"What?"
He, still chuckling, said, "There's chocolate ice cream on your nose. How did you manage that?"
She shrugged. "Talent. Where?" She tried to open the mirror, but there wasn't one. "What's with your car?"
He looked to where she was pointing. "Oh, my mom broke it. She was putting on makeup and I had to stop suddenly. I haven't got it replaced yet."
She chuckled. "Then how am I supposed to fix my nose?"
Wills pulled into a parking lot. "Here, I'll do it." He held out his finger. "Lick." Obediently, she did so, and he proceeded to wipe at her nose. "There. Oops, there's some at the corner of your mouth. No, I'll get it too." This time, however, he bent and kissed her gently, running his tongue out to get the chocolate. When he leaned back, she was staring at him, entranced. She had never been kissed before, and always refused to play 'Spin the Bottle' because she didn't want her first kiss to be a dare. It was worth it. He smiled, and seeing the invitation in her eyes, leaned towards her again, and kissed her for real.
Wills insisted on paying for everything at the prom- dress, limo, tickets, as well as his own stuff. Ultimately, Elizabeth loved him more for it, but at the time she was a little uncomfortable. They skipped one Saturday track meet and went into NYC to look for a dress. They looked and looked. Elizabeth quickly tired of trying on clothes, but she stayed in a good mood for Wills's sake. Finally, they had a look in a tiny little store on the West Side. They were just about to leave, defeated, when they saw it. They looked at each other and shrugged- Why not? With lagging steps, they stepped into the store. It was dim and cool and smelled of jasmine. Involuntarily, they looked at each other, and grinned, all their impatience and fatigue gone. This was it. They strolled around the store with barely concealed excitement, looking for it. Finally, with a triumphant cry, Elizabeth held it up. It was absolutely beautiful. It was green shot silk, that was silver in certain light. It was long, and body-hugging until the knees, where it flared out. It had a low back and a high neck, with straps that crossed in the back. Elizabeth stepped into it and took two pieces of her hair in the front and tied them back so they held back the rest of her hair. She twirled in front of the mirror, admiring the way the skirt flattened out in a circle around her knees. It was cool and slippery against her skin, and she knew she looked beautiful. Taking a breath, she stepped out from around the curtain to face Wills. He stood there, staring, his mouth hanging open. She grinned shyly.
"Do you like it?" Wills had to swallow a few times before anything came out.
"Like it? I, I, I mean, it's, you're-- beautiful." He said that last word in a near whisper, awe struck. She grinned more confidently, and twirled to show him how good it was to dance in. She stopped, dizzy and laughing, when she wobbled, and he grabbed her arms to keep her from falling.
"I love it, Wills. It's the one, I know it is." He nodded, looking her up and down.
"Well, I don't know if I should take you, if that's what you're going to wear. I mean, it wouldn't be fair to the other girls if their dates are all hovering around you." Elizabeth laughed again, and said,
"Then I depend on you to help discourage them, for I don't intend to dance more than once with anyone but you." He grinned and hugged her.
"Good, for if you did, I'd probably be as green as the dress." This of course deserved a kiss, so she bestowed it liberally.
As they left the shop, they grinned, and clasped hands.
"I can't wait for the prom now," Elizabeth confided. "I'm going to have difficulty not wearing this dress everywhere I go. It makes me feel like a princess or like one of the film sirens from the thirties." Wills smiled.
"Which one?" Elizabeth thought.
"Ummm Rita Hayworth, I guess, because of the hair, but I think I'd like to be Carole Lombard, without dying in a plane crash." Wills nodded.
"Well, I guess that makes me Clark Gable, huh." Elizabeth skipped and clapped her hands.
"Oh, goody! He's my favorite." They grinned at each other again, and walked off.
The prom went beautifully. Wills rented a limo, and they went by themselves. When they got to the hotel where it was being held, Georgia came up.
"Hey you guys! How are you?" She asked brightly, "My date is an old friend of the family, and he seems to have sighted a girl he's been in love with since sixth grade. Naturally, I couldn't refuse the poor boy that, so I am technically dateless!" They all laughed. Georgia looked closer at Elizabeth. "Elizabeth, you look absolutely gorgeous! You got your hair and makeup done, right?" Elizabeth shook her head.
"Nope. Wills wanted to spend his big bucks on it, but I wanted to do it myself. I'm glad you like it." Georgia grinned.
"I love your dress. It's gorgeous- like sunlight shining through the leaves in a forest." Wills grinned and put his arm around Elizabeth's waist.
"Isn't it? But it's not half as beautiful as the wearer." The girls grinned, and Georgia said
"Wills, you're going to have to dance with them." She indicated the group of senior girls that was off in a corner. Wills groaned.
"Oh, no. Not them, Georgia. They're soooo awful. You know what they've been saying to and about Elizabeth, right?"
Georgia nodded. "I know. But still."
Wills sighed. "I suppose you're right. Elizabeth, I'm claiming all your slow dances. If that crowd of guys is any indication of what your night is going to be like, you'll be hard pressed. Just say that I own all of 'em and they're not for sale. Okay?"
Elizabeth grinned. "My pleasure. That'll make my life easier; I'm not planning on slow dancing with anyone but you, so rest assured." Wills grinned back and kissed her lightly so he wouldn't muss her lipstick. He walked off leaving Georgia and Elizabeth standing together. Georgia looked at the guys who were hovering, then back at Elizabeth.
"I would love to believe that the entire senior class of males was waiting for me, but I'm not that stupid. Once I leave, they'll swarm. I'll bet $10." Elizabeth looked at her in surprise.
"Why on earth would they be waiting for me? You're on." They shook on it and Georgia walked away leaving Elizabeth alone.
True enough, all the guys swarmed around Elizabeth, asking her to dance. She promised all her fast dances, and then had to decline, explaining that all her slow dances were claimed by Wills. They understood and left, leaving one behind. It was Elizabeth's neighbor, Kevin. He smiled sweetly and said,
"Like everyone else, I heard the bit about Wills owning all your slow dances, but I know that's not true- you promised me one last week, remember?" Elizabeth smiled.
"Of course. I had forgotten for the moment. Wills should dance at least once with Georgia, so hang on a sec while I tell them that they're dancing together for the next slow dance. Are you free then?"
"Yup. Sounds good. I'm going to get a drink. Do you want one?"
"No, thanks. I just had one."
Wills and Georgia were pleased when informed that they were dancing together. He informed Elizabeth privately that he would of course much rather dance with her than with Georgia, but he was glad she'd have a chance to talk to Kevin before he left for boot camp.
The prom flew by, Wills and Elizabeth dancing every other slow dance. When it was over and they were back in the limo, Wills turned to Elizabeth and asked,
"What now?"
She shrugged. "This is your night, We should do what you want. If I really object, I'll let you know, but I doubt I will. Don't you want to spend some time with your friends? Alexis Burnett and Laura Browne, and Erica Bartlett? You've been really good friends for years, and this is a big night."
He turned to her, surprised. "You still want to be around them after what they did?"
"They didn't do much, Wills. They weren't very nice about the rumors, but they were jealous. Alexis I know has been in love with you for ever. You're very lovable, you know." This deserved a kiss, and she received several. This issue then taken care of, Wills returned to the matter at hand.
"No, I don't want to be with them. So far, out of that group, I'm still only friends with Erica Bartlett. The others- I always thought their bitchy comments were funny until they were talking about you."
Elizabeth smiled, and Wills continued thinking.
"Well, we could grab Georgia and go bowling, or we could go to the movies or we could go clubbing, or. . . . " he drew the word out as he reached into his pocket. "We could go see Beauty and the Beast on Broadway." He flourished the tickets under her nose and she squealed, catching his hand.
"Wills! You didn't!" He nodded, grinning at her delight.
"Yup. We're headed there now."
"I didn't know the show was on so late!"
"It's their sixth anniversary, and so they're having a special performance."
Elizabeth looked worried. "Wills, it's very sweet, but you've spent so much money. I mean, you insisted on buying my dress, paying for everything. I don't know how much it has been, but it must be a lot." Wills smiled.
"I'll tell you a secret-- they were my parents', but they couldn't go, and they offered them to us for free." Elizabeth smiled in relief.
"Good. That was very nice of them. By the way, darling, I have a birthday present for you." She rapped on the dividing glass between them and the chauffeur. He turned and she gave him two thumbs up. He nodded, grinned, and pulled over. Wills was staring at Elizabeth, confused. She smiled slyly, and took his hand. "I do have your parent's permission for this. Promise." She opened the door, and beckoned for the chauffeur to bring the box he was carrying. "I was a little at a loss for what to get you, and then I remembered something you told me you have always wanted." She sat down beside him. "Close your eyes." He did so, and could hear her opening the box. He felt her put the box in his lap, and opened his eyes wen she told him to. He looked into the box to see an absurd little orange dog with a white tail tip, and white socks. He was laughing as he lifted the dog out.
"Elizabeth! I can't believe it. What-- what kind of dog is he?" She was laughing too.
"His mother was a collie and his father was a Husky. Thus the bushy husky fur, tail, and size, but the collie coloring and temperament. He is a sweetie." Wills held the little dog up to eye level, the dog still trying to lick him.
"Nanuk," he said finally. "You are a Nanuk." Elizabeth looked at him, puzzled.
"Nanuk?" He nodded.
"It means 'bear' in Eskimo."
"I see. Yes, I can see him as a bear." She scratched the dog's chin, and he gave her such a worshipful glance that Wills, still laughing, said, "Ah! Another member of your fan club. Looks like I have competition. Is he trained?" She nodded.
"Yes, I did it myself. He knows not to go inside, and if he does have to go, he'll scratch your leg." After one last lick, Wills put the dog back in the box. "We're stopping off at your house to drop him off," Elizabeth explained.
The drive there was fairly eventful for the trio in the back seat. Nanuk liked Wills already, but he knew Elizabeth, and obviously viewed her as his mistress. He did whatever she told him, and Wills learned a lot from her loving, firm tone of voice. By the time they were at Wills's, Nanuk had gotten irritating, and they were relieved to deposit him safely into the eager arms of Wills's younger brothers.
They got to the theater just in time for the show. They took their seats, (which were really good) and settled back to enjoy. Elizabeth knew all the songs, and while she didn't sing or even mouth along, her eyes shone and she was at the edge of her seat. Wills, watching her, saw the sheen of tears in her eyes when Belle left and the Beast wanted to die; but she turned to him, squeezed his hand and gave him the most beatific smile he had ever seen.
When it was over, she was one of the first to jump to her feet to clap and cheer. The whole theater soon followed suit. As the curtain fell for the last time, she threw her arms around him and kissed him.
"Thank you, darling. It was incredible! Almost better than the first time I saw it." He grinned.
"I enjoyed it quite a bit myself. But for some reason, I had just as much fun watching a certain 15 year old's eyes sparkle as she wept over a Beast." He smiled again and she slipped her arm through his as they left the theater.
She preferred the opposite end of the lake, where it was among the trees and quiet. A few minutes later, it became obvious that she wasn't the only one; for sitting on the bench she had been heading for was a guy and a girl stuck so close together they looked like they were melted. She stared in shock, for seeing Wills Darcy and Marianne Dashwood making out now was not on her list of possible happenings. She began to back slowly away, wondering what to do, when she heard a stick snap under her feet. She froze, and the couple turned to stare at her. Mary King turned and left.
When she got home, her walk spoiled, she picked up the phone. She hesitated, but then dialed the numbers. Someone picked up on the first ring.
"Hello?" Elizabeth's voice came on.
"Elizabeth? It's Mary. I- I was just walking in Gedney Park. You know on the opposite side of the lake?" Elizabeth answered in the affirmative. "You know the bench that's there? That's where I was going, but someone was there before me." She paused, and continued gently, "There were two people making out. It was Wills and Marianne Dashwood." There was utter silence on the other end of the line. Finally, a quiet composed voice said,
"Thank you for telling me, Mimi. You did the right thing." She hung up.
Elizabeth paced her room, wrestling with her decision. She had to believe Mary- the girl didn't lie, and was nice, if a bit talkative when she shouldn't be. Should she call his cell-phone? No- he had told her he was going to see his grandmother. She decided to wait for school the next day.
When Wills came to pick her up, she was silent and didn't kiss him good-morning. As they neared the Senior Parking lot, she asked,
"Are you doing anything important in Forensics today?" Surprised, he said,
"No, why?" She didn't reply.
"Good. I can miss French. We are cutting first period today, darling, because we need to talk. Or didn't you know that?" She didn't wait for an answer, just opened her door and walked through the parking lot around to the lawn at the front of the school. It was on a hill, and as the rest of the town to the south was in a valley, she had a clear view of the river, which she kept her eyes fixed. He sat beside her on the grass, not trying to sit too close. She didn't look at him, but she said, "Mary called me." He didn't answer. Still not looking at him, she asked, "Why, Wills? I don't understand." He was silent for a long moment, finally saying,
"Do you know, a few days ago, I found myself wondering what kind of engagement ring you would like? Then proceeded to making up an invitation list for our wedding? Then named all six of our kids?" Distracted, she asked,
"What were they?" He shot a quick glance at her.
"First born, Willard Darcy IV, then Emily Odette, then Christian Charles, then Marina Jennet, then Alexander David, (I know that's your family name) then Verena Anne." She grinned.
"Good choices." She quickly sobered. "Go on." He did so.
"That really freaked me out. I mean, I'm 18- you're 15, and I'm in love with you and want to marry you. I should be wondering what I want to do for my major in college, not where we'll live when we get married. So I wanted to detach from you-- thus Marianne." She nodded.
"I can understand that you were scared, but what builds and sustains a relationship is trust and respect. It is impossible for me to trust and respect someone who betrays that trust." She took his hand, looking at him earnestly. "I'm in love with you, too, but if I can't trust you not to break my heart every time you get scared, I have to break it off." He looked away, swallowing hard.
"I think it's best." She stared at him for one moment, then stood angrily.
"Fine. It is after all your choice." She left. "Elizabeth. . . " he made to rise, but was stopped by her expression.
"I'm going home. Good bye." This time he did rise, and offered,
"Can I give you a ride?" She stared at him in disbelief.
"You? No, I don't think so." She turned and walked hurriedly away.
When she got home, her mother stared at her in surprise.
"Not another bomb threat! I thought they'd caught everyone." Elizabeth hastened to reassure Maura.
"No, but Wills and I just broke up, and I didn't think I could handle staying in school and have everyone whispering behind my back on top of it all." Her mother nodded.
"I'm sorry, honey." She pulled her daughter into her arms, and Elizabeth went willingly, having to bend her head down to reach Maura's shoulder. She began to cry. Her mother rocked her gently, whispering soothing things, knowing that when Elizabeth's control broke, it broke hard.
She didn't understand her daughter sometimes; she was more like her father, but with Maura's gentleness and acceptance of people where they were. She felt passionately on almost everything, and sometimes Maura felt that Elizabeth spent so much time helping others and fixing problems, she forgot about herself. She was so strong, even Maura leaned on her in times of need. Elizabeth was a rock, the one thing that everyone found never changed, never rejected anyone, was always willing to help. She never cried- she thought it was a weakness and very rarely did she reach the point of hurt or frustration that she gave in. It was usually frustration- Elizabeth had learned to close herself off to those who hurt her, to allow her to function. Her mother knew how it felt- years ago, she had been hitchhiking in Ireland by herself- she had been with friends, but three was an awkward number, and it was her turn to go alone.
She had been picked up by a young man who had been very kind. He showed her ruins and beguiled her with stories of the kings who had lived there; of the lives and histories of it's men and women, ending almost always with a decisive, ruinous battle that left the castles ruined and forlorn. She had liked him, begun to trust him, and he had raped her.
He thought she had wanted it, but even if he had, it was no excuse for continuing when she had made it very clear she wasn't interested. He thought North American women were easy- loose was a better expression. That they'd lie down for anyone. When she had finally gotten away and gone to the police, they wouldn't help her. They looked down at her, and askance, and said that no Irish girl would have done that. They wouldn't help her.
She had closed down some after that. She felt dirty and used, and helpless. She had wanted her first time to be with her husband, and now that bastard had stolen it from him. It was somehow doubly worse that it was her first time. She could never go back now. She had changed- she was no longer naive, and she sure as hell stopped hitchhiking. She had written home to her parents about it, and they had begged her to come home. She had refused, thinking it a weakness. And she had closed off her heart and her head, using only what was necessary to do her job and stay alive. It had taken her years to forget, years, and it still twinged. She remembered how Elizabeth's father had been when she told him. It was just after he had told her he was serious about her. She felt he had a right to know; felt he deserved a chance to back out if he wanted. God, it had taken all her strength of character, all her hard won courage to sit him down and tell him, and then again to meet his eyes. When she finally did, his face was shining with tenderness and worry.
"Darling," he had said, "It doesn't make a difference to me. It's you I love, every last inch, and I couldn't care less. If you are thinking that I think you tainted, it's nothing of the kind. I'm so, so sorry you had to go through it. It must still be hard." He had gone to her then, and enfolded her gently into his arms, and let her cry her relief and hurt into his shoulder, just as Elizabeth was doing now. When he had pulled away, there had been something else in his eyes. He stared at her, and said in a low, hoarse voice, "I could kill him, though. I. . ." words failed him, and he reached up to stroke her cheek. He made a harsh growling sound in his throat, and his eyes were dark with fury. It had been her turn then to comfort him, to feel his rage that anyone had dared to touch her against her wishes. It was then she knew that she would marry this man, would grow old with him. She jerked back into the present as Elizabeth's voice sounded.
"He cheated on me. He found himself wondering what kind of engagement ring I would like, then he made up the invitation list for our wedding, and then he named our six kids. It freaked him out and so to detach, he made out with Marianne Dashwood." Her mother stared at her in astonishment.
"He was what?" She asked, puzzled. "Why was he naming your kids?" Elizabeth sniffled.
"He says he's in love with me, but we're too young. I don't know if he's telling the truth, or if he was trying to ease the blow. I'm in love with him too, Mummy!" She sobbed again. "I know we're too young. It was a mistake from the beginning. I told him that if I couldn't count on him not to break my heart every time he got scared, I would have to break it off. And then he said he thought it best that we should!" She pulled away, looking at Maura. Her mother was staring at her, shock in her eyes. "What is it?" She asked, puzzled. Her mother shook her head.
"Nothing, dearest. I was just realizing that you're grown up." Elizabeth shook her head and buried her face in Maura's shoulder again.
"No, I'm not! I'm a confused, sad, hurt little girl." Her mother stroked her back a few more times before Elizabeth pulled away again. She managed a small, watery smile. "Thank you," she said. Her mother wiped away the tears that were coursing down her daughter's cheeks.
"Nonsense. I'm your mother. You're allowed to cry on me, it's part of the deal." Elizabeth laughed this time, and choked. Her mother continued, "Go wash your face and I'll put on some tea and nice, fattening cookies for comfort food." Elizabeth nodded, and obediently went off to the bathroom.
Later that day, while Maura was at the hospital where she worked as a chaplain, Elizabeth got out some boxes in which to put the things she had saved of Wills. She opened the first shoe-box to place in it the ticket stubs for both Tomb Raider and Beauty and the Beast, her program, her dried corsage from the prom, the little notes he had sent her, the formal invitation to his graduation party, the prom ticket, the receipt from buying Nanuk, the newspaper clippings she had saved whenever he won a race, the emails she had printed out so she could read them, and all the little things that she had saved that reminded her of him. The next box was a little bigger, and in it she put his track sweatshirt and shirt, both of which had been prizes for winning a race. He had given them to her, and she slept in them and wore them when they were having a lazy day together. She also put in the little porcelain fairy that he had given her for the first race she had won, nestling it carefully so it wouldn't break. The third box was another shoe box, and in it she put every picture that had Wills in it that she could find. She was in many of them also, but she didn't care-- all she wanted was to get rid of everything that reminded her of him in the room. She couldn't do that entirely, as her furniture reminded her of him-- especially her overstuffed easy chair. He had sat in it many times, more often than not pulling her down to sit on his lap. There had been many kisses in that chair, and she had loved looking down at him from her comfortable position and seeing the light from the nearby window turn his hair to pure gold and making his eyes startlingly blue in his shadowed face. She shook her head. Maybe her sister would like the chair. . . she caressed her hand over it, and then realized that she loved the chair too much. Into the third box, she put her prom dress, carefully wrapped in plastic, and the silver shoes she had worn with it. Inside one of the shoes was a smaller box, containing the silver and garnet ring, necklace, earrings, and matching hair clips that he had bought to go with it. She taped all the boxes shut, and lugged them downstairs.
Her mother returned fifteen minutes later, and Elizabeth asked her to please drive her and the boxes to Wills's house. Her mother agreed unhesitatingly, not asking any questions, as Elizabeth had known she would. When they got there, Maura asked,
"Do you want me to wait?" Elizabeth shook her head.
"No, thanks-- I'd like to walk home." Her mother nodded, and drove off. Elizabeth knocked on the kitchen door, where she knew Anne, Wills's mother, would be. The door opened in seconds, Anne obviously startled to see Elizabeth there with the boxes. She welcomed her though, and waited patiently for an explanation. She didn't wait long. Elizabeth dropped the boxes, and turned to Anne.
"Wills and I broke up this morning. He cheated on me because he got scared that we were too close, and wanted to detach. The boxes are all the stuff that reminds me of him-- I'm giving it all back. Would you mind if I took it up to his room?" Anne shook her head, and offered her help. Elizabeth declined it politely. "Thanks, but I can handle it." She set the boxes in a corner of his room where they wouldn't be in the way, and returned to the kitchen. Nanuk, sensing that she was in the house, was overjoyed to see her. Anne chuckled to see the puppy gambol around the girl he obviously looked on as his mistress.
"He doesn't even do that with Wills," she remarked. "He knows who he belongs to." Elizabeth's eyes filled with tears, and she sat down and gathered the puppy in her lap. She held him close, Nanuk not moving except to lick her face, her hands, any part of her his tongue could reach. She buried her face in him, hugging him. Her voice was thick with tears as she said,
"I love you too, Nanuk." The dog stayed at her feet while she told Anne the whole story, even telling her the names he had picked out for their kids. She finished up with, "I can't decide if I'd rather kiss him or punch him in the eye." Anne chuckled.
"Well, if I had any doubts before, which I didn't, I'd say that's love. Honey, I am sure sorry that he can't handle it, because if I ever saw a man so in love with anyone, I would eat this table. You were perfect for him. I saw such a change-- he tried to be worthy of you, he lost the superficial, facetiousness that was becoming a habit with him. He grew up a lot." This wasn't helping Elizabeth control her tears, and she dashed a few more away, saying angrily,
"I never cry. It doesn't help, and only makes me more vulnerable. I hate it." With this interesting statement to ponder, Anne didn't reply. Suddenly, she stiffened. Elizabeth looked at her, and then she realized what had made Anne do so. The sound of a car pulling into the driveway. Anne looked out the window, and said,
"It's him. Quick, out the side door. He always comes in the front because it's closer to his room." Elizabeth gave Anne a hug, thanked her, held Nanuk one more time, and hurried out the side door only to smack into Wills on the stairs. She didn't stop to think, but swung her fist around connecting loudly and flush with his cheekbone. While he was still in shock both from the blow and seeing her, she threw her arms around him and kissed him passionately. Then she hurried down the stairs and on her way home. Wills opened the door, and Nanuk tore out. But instead of greeting Wills, he ran after Elizabeth. Wills stopped, and saw her kneel down and bury her face into the dog. Nanuk was licking her all over, his tail wagging so hard Wills thought his hind quarters were about to detach from the rest of him. Finally she stood, and he could hear her soft voice gently ordering Nanuk back to the house. He didn't obey for a moment, and her voice grew more authoritative. Giving her one more puzzled look, Nanuk headed off towards the house, his tail between his legs. Wills knew just how he felt. He turned to his mother, and said,
"Mom, what was Elizabeth doing her?" Anne glared at him.
"She came to return things. I convinced her to stay, and I know the whole story. If you could have heard all the things she said to defend you, you would be a hundred feet underground with shame. I hope you know you've broken her heart?" He stared at her, not answering. Then he asked,
"What stuff? And where did she put it?" His mother shrugged.
"In your room." She turned back to her baking as he mounted the stairs, growing tension in his body. He reached his room and looked around. Where. . . ah. There were three boxes stacked in a corner. He drew them into the light, and opened the first one. What was in it made his breath catch and his chest tighten. She had saved everything. There were all the little love notes he had written her, the tickets from the prom, Beauty and the Beast, and Tomb Raider, the program from Beauty and the Beast, her dried wrist corsage, and-- he saw it in some disbelief-- a chocolate stained Ben and Jerry's napkin. He went through the rest of the box with growing determination that he wouldn't cry. The next box he opened held his sweatshirt and shirt that he had given her and. . . the little fairy he had presented her with when she won her first race. He remembered how happy she had been, how pleased, and how she had talked with those she had beaten and told them what she admired in their running. The other girls had left that race feeling as though they had won too. He had been so proud of her. She never ceased to amaze him with her consideration for others. It was the third box that broke his control. He opened it and froze. It was her prom dress, shoes, and trappings. She had even included her bra, panties, and pantyhose that she had worn-- all bought new for the occasion.
He buried hiss face in his hands and cried.
The next day at school, Elizabeth knew they were talking about her. Then one of those hated freshman girls came up to her and asked,
"Did Wills Darcy really cheat on you?" Elizabeth stared at the girl in horror, and asked,
"Who told you that?"
"Caroline." Of course. Who else would it be? She shook her head at the girl, tempted to lie to save face. But she changed her mind.
"Yes, he did. He found himself naming our six kids, and it scared the hell out of him. I broke up with him." The girl stared at her in fascination.
"You have six kids?" Elizabeth stared at her, and then began to laugh.
"No, no. He decided he wanted to marry me, and was planning the children we would have after."
"Oh." There, thought Elizabeth. That will give them something to think about.
She was worried, though. Who knew that he had cheated on her? Well, her, of course, Wills, Marianne Dashwood as the cheatee, Anne, and Maura. Who could have told Caroline? A cold certainty swept over her. There had been another person. Mary had been the one who caught them. And she was sometimes in Caroline's company. The more she thought about it, the more certain she became.
She went through French in a daze, anxiously watching the clock willing it to move faster. When she finally got to Chemistry second period, she grabbed Mary and motioned her into the bathroom.
"Did you tell Caroline about Wills and Marianne?" She asked. Mary looked guilty.
"I'm really sorry, Elizabeth. I never meant to. But we were talking about guys who cheat, and I just mentioned in passing that I had found Wills cheating on you. Honestly, I never meant to." Elizabeth shook her head, unable to get angry with the girl.
"Well, the whole school is buzzing with it, and everyone I see is saying, 'Poor girl-- just not good enough for Wills Darcy.' I just wondered who had spilled the beans." Mary turned scarlet.
"Not really, Elizabeth! Oh, I'm so, so sorry! I just didn't think! What can I do to fix it?" Elizabeth thought seriously.
"Well," she smiled weakly, "You could come up with an even juicier story that is true about someone else." Mary grinned, nodded, and replied,
"I'll try. And we only have four days left of school anyway before exams." Elizabeth nodded.
"I know-- it's what's keeping me sane right now." She walked out of the bathroom back into Chemistry.
At practice that day, she asked Coach to have a word. When they were off where no one could hear her, she explained.
"Coach, we don't have any more meets, right? Or at least, not ones that I'm going to be running in." He shook his head.
"Nope, just states and nationals." She sighed in relief.
"Good. I don't think I'll be coming back to practice for the rest of the year. You see, Wills is the captain." Coach stared at her.
"That's a problem? I thought you two were going out." She shook her head.
"I broke it off yesterday morning. He cheated on me and couldn't guarantee he wouldn't do it again. That's why I won't be coming back. I'll still run, it will just be on my own time. I just cannot feel comfortable with him in such close proximity anymore." Coach nodded his understanding, and clapped her on the shoulder.
"I see, Elizabeth. Well, we'll all miss you-- no one else is quite as effective and encouraging a cheerleader, nor do I have someone who can run 200's as well as you can. But I can understand your reluctance. I'll see you next year." She hugged him.
"Thanks, Coach. Have a great summer." She ran off to where Maura was waiting in the car.
The week after the end of exams, Elizabeth's cat died. She was inconsolable. It was all so sudden-- he was run over by a car. The car hadn't even stopped. What made it worse was that he didn't die right away-- his legs had been broken, and he bled to death in two minutes. All Elizabeth could do was kneel on the road crying, stroking his head and scratching his ears. It was the hardest thing she had ever done. When her father had scooped up the cat and put him in a shoe-box, he dug a hole in the backyard and Elizabeth held a funeral. They all stood there and each said one thing that they had loved about him. Elizabeth thanked him for keeping her feet and stomach warm in the winter, and that he had always made her laugh by his obvious attempts at conversation. When it was all over, she walked to Wills's house. She wasn't worried about meeting him there, she knew he was life guarding at the Briarcliff Pool from 3-8 every day except weekends. She knocked on the door, and Anne opened it. She saw Elizabeth's tear streaked face, and without a word opened her arms. Elizabeth hugged back fiercely, tears still welling up in her eyes. She was sat down at the kitchen table while Anne made tea and got out cookies, and told Anne what had happened. Anne came and sat down beside her and put her hand over Elizabeth's clenched ones. She didn't say anything, but the open sympathy in her face helped so much. Nanuk soon came running-- he seemed to have a sixth sense when it came to Elizabeth's whereabouts. She knelt down and hugged the rapidly growing puppy to her. His welcome was no less exuberant than when she had gone there last, brokenhearted again. Nanuk comforted her even as he demanded to be lavished with affection and attention, bestowing the same on her. Anne watched this endearing spectacle, knowing that Elizabeth had come for the comfort Nanuk, not being a cat, could offer. She smiled warmly as she thought of something. Finally, Elizabeth rose. She turned to Anne, and thanked her for the sympathetic ear and comfort food. She kissed Nanuk once more on his snout, and said goodbye. Anne watched as the girl she had come to look on as a daughter walked slowly away.
When Wills came home that night, Anne was waiting for him. He noticed that Nanuk had been waiting at the door, but hadn't been distracted by his, Wills's, arrival. The only times he had known Nanuk to do that was when Elizabeth had been there. The dog waited at the door for her in hopes that she would return. He felt hope rise within him. She had been there! Why? He found his answer as he looked for his mother. She was in the kitchen, waiting for him.
"Hi, Mom. Was Elizabeth here?" He looked around as though he might see a sign of her presence. His mother clucked her tongue. She was still a little annoyed at him about the whole Elizabeth-Marianne thing, but she answered.
"Yes. Her cat was run over today, but only his legs were broken so he bled to death-- she stayed with him and held him and scratched his ears. She wanted to see Nanuk. We had a long talk," she said in an accusing voice. Wills stared at her hard, then nodded with understanding.
"Mom, I think I should give her Nanuk. I mean, he loves her like no other. He's only my dog in name-- it's she he waits for and obeys. Now that she no longer has a cat, that is not an obstacle. It would probably comfort her." His mother surveyed him with definite approval in her gaze.
"I quite agree. I thought the same thing when I saw them together today. She is his one and only love. I think you are doing the right thing." She continued with a sly look, "I know she will be alone tomorrow. Her brother and sister are at camp, and it's Maura's day at the hospital." He thought about this.
"Thanks. I'll do it tomorrow, then." He went upstairs to shower and change. His mother, still in the kitchen, smiled to herself. Matchmaking was easier than she had expected.
At eleven thirty sharp, Wills was standing on Elizabeth's front porch, Nanuk, on a leash, beside him. After a moment's hesitation, he rang the bell. It took a second, then he could see her running up the stairs, her loose hair flying. She wasn't terribly dressed; as a matter of fact, she was wearing boxers and a tank-top. Taking it easy, obviously. He grinned. She opened the door then, and started, her eyes going wide. Her pupils were always larger than most, which made her look as though she was always fascinated by the person she was talking to. They were smaller now from the sun, their greenness glinting. As she stared at him, he greedily drank her in. She was the same; her hair a rich red brown that had both fiery and golden lights shooting through it in the sun, her freckles a bit darker and she wasn't wearing makeup. It took him by surprise that he preferred her makeup-less. She was starting to get impatient now, her shock gone, and he jerked himself into order. He cleared his throat and said,
"Hi, Elizabeth. How are you?" She stared at him again in disbelief.
"I'm fine, thank you. How are you?" He nodded, and took a deep breath.
"My mom told me what happened yesterday. I'm really sorry." She looked down quickly and he saw her lips tremble. It made him wonder what she'd do if he kissed her. Again, he snapped himself back in order. "As I walked in the house, I saw that Nanuk was waiting by the door. He only does that for one person, and the only time I have ever seen him do it is after you've left the house. He's your dog, Elizabeth. We love him dearly, but we thought that you would want him, and he adores you more than anything in the world. Now there's no obstacles, we didn't want to keep the two of you apart." He released his tight hold on Nanuk, and the puppy went haywire. He ran the short distance to Elizabeth and ran around her feet dancing and barking. Finally, when he realized it wasn't getting him anywhere, he stood in front of her, jumped so his paws were on her thighs, and barked once, his ears bent forward, his eyes trained on her. Finally, she broke the eye contact she had with Wills and focused on the delirious dog. She knelt so he had easy access to her face, which was what he wanted, and he stood in her lap licking every inch of her face several times. Finally, she pushed him away a little, laughing.
"Down, boy! Calm down. It's ok, I'm not going anywhere." She looked up to thank Wills, only to see that he was gone. She saw him get into his car, and jumped up to run after him. She got to his car just before he pulled out of the driveway, and knocked on the window. He rolled it down, and she said, "Thank you, Wills. I really appreciate it-- more than I can say. Thank you." He nodded, smiled tenderly, and said,
"I'm sorry, Elizabeth" and left. She stood looking after him and wondering what he was apologizing for. It sounded like everything.
Wills grinned as he again pictured her complete delight. If he had known that giving her the dog would make her so happy, he would have done so long ago. Except having a cat would make it inconvenient. Oh, well, she was happy now. That was what he was interested in.
As he thought over his last words, he realized that they could mean any number of things. He had meant, in fact, for them to be an apology over his behavior. He had known it was wrong and stupid and hurtful, but he had done it anyway, because he wanted to do what he wanted to do when he wanted to do it. He hadn't been all that interested in Marianne, he was just looking for a girl other than Elizabeth so he wouldn't feel quite so trapped. Trapped? That was silly. She had been very considerate, knowing that he would want to be with his friends, and understanding that when you went out with someone, that didn't mean that you had exclusive rights to one another. He had asked her to do something a few times that she couldn't because there was a girls night out, or she was studying with someone. He grinned again as he remembered their own 'study' sessions-- while they had actually studied, she had helped him with English and History, things she was both passionate and knowledgeable about, and he helped her with Math and Chemistry. He was planning on majoring in Nuclear physics. That fact had endeared him instantly to her father, he remembered. Peter Howard was a very well known physicist, particularly in the Optics field. He had written a book that threatened to oust the oldest, best-selling optics book. His book was basically an account of his experiments, both those of his later work and those of his Graduate school days, in minute, detailed description. He often said that he had written the book he wished he'd had as a graduate student. Not only did it explain the experiments, it also described the many different methods that had to be tested before one that worked finally emerged. It was said by his many fans that he gave the average optics student not only a boost, but a rather tall stepladder, which helped them reach the top with fewer falls, fewer scars, and more sanity. Wills had read it, and while most of the equations were above his level of experience, he understood the book-- both what it's purpose was and why Peter had spent eight years writing it, perfecting it, using up most of his time and energy. He respected Peter, respected and admired him. He and Elizabeth were very much alike-- both were intellectuals, both were brilliant. Both had strong convictions, and both stood for what they believed in. Both were kind and loving, both knew what was going on with them-- others didn't have to say. Where Wills thought Elizabeth had the better character was in her attitude towards others. While they both had high standards and expected others to live up to them as they did themselves, Elizabeth was much more tolerant of human frailty than Peter. Elizabeth understood what would make someone do something that all others would regard as stupid. She might think so too, but she would criticize the action and the lack of thought rather than the person or the feeling behind the action. Elizabeth understood what made people tick; she had the biggest most forgiving heart in the world, and she was always eager to see the good in people. Elizabeth called people on their bullshits; Peter held them up for ridicule. Elizabeth never made a joke that could be looked upon as being at another's expense, whereas Peter was not quite so discerning. The difference, he decided, was that Elizabeth picked up the currents in the air, the currents that surrounded others and communicated their feelings, and Peter didn't. Elizabeth could function very well on her own, and very well among many people. Elizabeth was an introverted extrovert, and Peter was an introvert in every sense of the word. Elizabeth's younger sister Magda was the same way, and so was her little brother Scott, to a lesser degree. Elizabeth's people talents were from Maura; she had inherited the best of both worlds. Without realizing it, he had driven past his house and was half-way to Mt Kisco, to Ben and Jerry's. He smiled as he ordered Elizabeth's favorite, New York Super Fudge Chunk. He had already been running that day, keeping in his top condition as he would be running Cross Country at five miles instead of three when the school year started at Duke, his college of choice. He wondered idly whether Elizabeth would miss him when he left. Suddenly, he sat up. He had remembered something-- something he had given to Elizabeth that she hadn't returned. His class ring. It was rather a silly tradition, to give one's highschool girlfriend one's class ring, but she had been so fascinated with it. He had gotten a small one, set with an emerald, his birth stone. He had immediately offered it to her to wear, wishing to see it against her eyes. She had refused at first, thinking that he had bought it to wear it. Nope. He wasn't going to wear it-- he wasn't a big one for rings. But he liked the idea of having one. It wouldn't do him much good just sitting in the box, he had argued. She had declared herself unwilling to follow tradition in that "Grease"ish way, but had finally given in when he had told her that it mattered to him that she wear it. And she had. Not on her finger, for hers were amusingly enough a little thicker than his. It was probably all the piano playing she did, not to mention the typing and handwriting. He didn't think it was unattractive. As a matter of fact, he liked the fact that her hands were strong. He wasn't sure why, but thinking about her hands had always turned him on. It was funny, if one came to think about it, but now that he did, it wasn't just her fingers. It was her. He laughed out loud as he remembered the temptation to ask her, to go just a little too far that had only escalated the closer they got emotionally and spiritually. He supposed that was why married couples found each other sexually attractive even after both were old and generally unattractive. He liked the thought of them growing gray together, the sex getting better and better as they practiced. It really had taken all of his control and will power to keep from dishonoring her wishes and intentions. He respected her decision to wait for marriage, even admired it. But it was damned hard sometimes, especially when she looked at him with sleepy eyes that said she wanted to kiss him. The sleepy smile that usually accompanied the look was even worse. He shook his head as he finished the cone-- he couldn't stop kicking himself for his behavior of two months previously-- but perhaps it was for the best anyway. He was going off to college and she would stay here. What if she found someone she liked better closer to her own age? He wouldn't hold her to an uncertain long--distance relationship, much as he hated both the thought of someone else hugging her, kissing her, laughing with her, talking with her; and of himself doing the same things with someone else, he had to be fair to her, and it wouldn't be fair to keep her tied to someone she might not want to see again. He shook his head and sighed with the hopelessness of the situation as he drove away. Maybe not seeing Elizabeth again would be the best thing for both of them.
Technically, the trip was Elizabeth's idea. Back in 1997 when Peter had really started realizing how much potential his book had, the subject of royalties had come up, and Elizabeth had merrily suggested that they go to Europe on them. Peter agreed immediately. She had thought he was kidding, but he wasn't. So they had waited and anticipated until 2001, when they finally went. They spent four days in La Val de la Loire, which again was Elizabeth's idea, as she was such a big castle person, then five days in Burgundy near Beaune, and then five days in Paris. Elizabeth loved every minute of it, even though Maura, her sister, and brother proceeded to get sick on the plane, and were sick all through the Loire Valley and half of Burgundy. Elizabeth and Peter were fine, though, and occasionally went places on their own. What had fascinated Elizabeth most was the nonchalant attitude of people whose backyards ended sharply with part of the outer wall of a medieval chateau. Also, the tiny, winding, cobbled streets of the medieval towns, where people still lived in stone houses that had seen the reign of Henri II. History ruled the entire country, and she loved the churches, where people had prayed often for over a thousand years. You could feel it too, in the air, and it was such a powerful feeling that it made her want to drop on her knees and pray herself. When they finally returned on September 3, Elizabeth had one day before school started on the 5th. Basically, she had no time to think of Wills. Nanuk was, of course, ecstatic to see her, having missed her like mad. Elizabeth had missed him too, and the first exhausted half hour at home was spent reassuring him that she wasn't going anywhere just yet. She called her three best friends, and they got together to chatter and giggle and cook and eat, and just enjoy each other's company before school began.
When school did begin, Elizabeth found her so busy with her work that she had no time to worry. She was taking three Advanced Placement courses; English, US History, and French; she was taking Math Level 3, Physics, and she was beginning Italian. She was also writing again; her summer break and dry spell over, she had decided to write a story based on the whole thing, just changing the names slightly. Her friends read what was finished and chuckled, both over the story and the obviousness of the characters, and she was encouraged. She had started it a while before the whole thing, when she thought that everything was going to turn out horribly. Well, she thought wryly, They have, haven't they. But she kept writing, sure that once she had finished the story, she would be able to forget about Willard Darcy III and get on with her life, as he surely had.
Her life went on pretty much as normal until Thanksgiving. She had been dreading the holidays, because all the college people would be home, and it was a tradition that they all come back to say 'hi' and check up on old teachers and friends. She was on an off period doing homework in the library when she heard the door open and the back of her neck prickled. She shivered, knowing that he was staring at her. Slowly, she raised her head and met his gaze. She tried to prevent the leap her heart gave to see him standing two feet away looking down at her with such a tender expression. He gestured to a chair at the opposite end of the table, and raised a brow at her.
"May I?" She nodded, not feeling herself capable of words. He seated himself and folded his hands on the table. He was still staring at her. She looked down to see if there was anything strange about her appearance, but when she looked back at him, she recognized the same hungry expression in his eyes that told her he was devouring her presence, memorizing every little detail of her. She shifted a little uncomfortably. This was altogether an uncomfortable experience. They both knew they were still in love with each other, but neither was prepared to admit it and breach the gap; a gap they both felt to be good for both. "Elizabeth, it's really good to see you." He cleared his throat. "I. . . I wanted to apologize for my behavior. It was totally unacceptable, and I knew it. I have many excuses, but they're not worth much, so I'm not going to mention any. I just wanted to say that I'm really, really sorry I hurt you, and I have been wishing I could take it back ever since it happened. Do you think at some point you will be able to forgive me?" He looked at her, his remorse and guilt clear in his eyes. She stared at him herself for a moment, then replied,
"Wills, I forgave you a long time ago. I didn't resent it, I was hurt and confused and frustrated, and you thought the chance that you'd do it again was high enough that we should break up. I'm still in love with you, but I do think it's best for both of us if we just forget about it." Her words were choked out of her, the hardest things she had ever said, but she knew she was right. As she watched, his eyes grew dark with sorrow.
"I'm in love with you still too, Elizabeth, and I'm sorrier than I can say that I have to say I think you're right." He laughed softly, a hard laugh. "I was kind of hoping I was wrong, but if you feel that way, the case is, of course, closed." He rose, went around to her side of the table, and kissed her gently. "I do love you, Elizabeth. I'm sorry it has to be this way." With that, he strode out of the library, leaving her shell-shocked behind.