Posted on Sunday, 3 June 2001

My name is Emma Woodhouse. I am 18 years old, and am about to graduate high school, well not like right now, but in 12 days, three hours and sixteen minutes... give or take. I've got everything, and of course I love my life.

My mom died when I was really young, and my older sister just got married to my best friend's cousin. It's only my dad and I now, which is nice... but it can be a little... lonely?

I'm not lonely, of course, but I mean.... if I was a less popular me in like... an alternate demention or something, I'd probably be really depressed.

Our senior class trip totally sucked. We went to a really big amusement park, which would have been awesome except that when we were eating lunch my best friend freaked out at me and I'm totally miserable. Yes, I know I just said I wasn't depressed, but... I'm allowed to amend my thoughts.

So it was Me, Gregg(best friend ever.), Jen Fairfax (uuuuugh. Hate her. Talking to her is like trying to talk like a puppy, they tilt thier heads and look at you funny and then they respond as best they can and you still have no idea if they caught a word.), , sitting next to her was my friend, Foster, then Elliot (who used to be bearable before he tried to jump me on the way home from a party), his girlfriend Rachael (UGH. She has NEVER been bearable), Becca (sweet but wow annoying), and Heather (she's pretty cool, she started eating lunch at our table about mid-year and she's a great friend). I wish that my friends Taylor and Wes could have gone, Taylor's my other best friend but she and her boyfriend graduated last year.

Anyway... Foster said that we should play truth or dare while we were at lunch, and never being one to decline I was the first to take my turn.

"Emma, truth or dare."

"Dare, of course." I grinned and waited for him to think of something.

"I dare you to french kiss Elliot."

Rachael stood up and said that she would have no part in such a stupid game and that if Elliot ever wanted any action again that he'd better feel the same way. It struck me as odd that she threatened him with not getting any, when he was about to get some... but whatever. It was amusing to watch him scamper after her saying that he was disgusted by us.

"Well... looks like truth, then," I said resignedly.

Becca shifted a little, "I'm going to have to stick with truth too, I've never kissed anyone... I haven't even had a boyfriend.

"Don't worry," I said jokingly, "No one would dare you to kiss anyone, we know that it's too much getting you to shut up for about three seconds for anything."

Becca looked at me for a second and I thought she was about to laugh. She didn't. Becca said something about 'sorry for being such a pain' and Gregg stood up and asked her if she wanted to go to the arcade.

A little later that day Heather and I were walking around a giftshop. I was browsing over some stationary sets (I was desperate to write) and Gregg came up behind me and said in his 'I am SO pissed off at you' voice, "We need to talk."

I jumped. You shouldn't sneak up on people in strange places, it scares them.

"What?" I asked impatiently.

"Let's go outside."

"Whatever." I was REALLY mad. I stalked outside and sat on a landscaping wall.

Gregg was livid. I have never seen him so mad at me for no reason before.

"What is your problem, my gosh!" I snapped.

"How could you be so mean to Becca? In front of all of those people, how could you embarass her like that. Emma, she looks up to you, and so do they and you made her feel like a complete fool. You know that people will act just how you do... people want to be you. They want to be just like you, and if you treat someone like dirt, then so will everyone else."

"I know that she's really sweet... but come on. You know how she is..." I said with irritation.

"Emma, wake up. Do you know that i walked around with her for an hour while she apologized for being so annoying and said that she must be the worst person on Earth for making you say somethink like that," Gregg lowered his voice to an angry hiss, "because you're always so patient and nice to everyone."

I had been feeling guilty all day, and Gregg being so mad at me just made me snap. I turned my head, because he's been staring me down, and I felt tears rolling down my cheeks. I stood up and pushed him out of my way, while I stared at the ground so he wouldn't see me cry. Of course he knew I was, but he didn't see me crying.

The bus ride back was... oh... a hellish existance. I've been trying to hook up Foster and Heather for like... a month, and it turns out that Jen and Foster were like making out on the ferris wheel. Heather doesn't like him anyway though.

"Listen, can I ask you something?"

"Sure." I said... Yeah... I was in an awful mood, but I'm sure Gregg would have hated me even more if I had said no and insulted Heather too.

"I like someone alot, and"

"He has a girlfriend?"

"Does he? Gosh, that's strange... I mean this right after everyone's just found out about Jen and Fos."

"It isn't Foster?" I asked, surprised.

"No! I mean, he's cool and all, but nooo way. I like Gregg... but I dunno if I should tell him I like him."

"I... I.. well... just do--whatever you think... I'm not.." I stammered.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Just tired and excited. You know... Prom in tomorrow. I can't wait."

"Okay."

She went back to her seat two rows ahead and I curled myself into a ball.

"Emma...?" I heared a voice ask gently.

"Gregg?" I asked sleepily.

"Em, wake up. We're home."

He helped me up and walked off the bus with me.

"Why don't you stay over at my house, I'll call your dad and we can come back tomorrow and pick up your car before you go to get ready for the dance."

I love Gregg. He's the only guy I know who can be totally any completely annoyed with you, and a while later make sure that you have a safe place to stay for the night so you don't fall asleep at the wheel.

"I'm sorry." I said.

"I know. I'm sorry too, but you need to realize that people are affected by you."

"I know," I said quietly.

At 11:30 I was curled on his couch wearing a pair of his pajama pants and the tank top I'd been wearing all day. As I was drifting to sleep, I allowed my thoughts to wander a little, as I often do... and I woke up in the morning realizing that I was in love with Gregg Knightley.

Gregg came to my door the next evening at exactly 5:27 and 43 seconds. He gave me a lovely yellow rose corsage that looked very cute with my baby blue dress, and after my father's four rolls of film were gone, we left for the banquet hall.

"Gregg, do you like Heather?" I asked him when we were in the car.

"What? Well, sure, she's a sweet person."

"Do you like Heather?" I asked wearily.

"Oh, erm... well not really. Not like that anyway."

My heart leapt. My heart had never leapt before and for a second I thought about consulting a physician.

"I actually... like someone else," he said leadingly. I'm not totally sure if leadingly is a word, but it should be because that is totally how he said it.

"Oh?" I asked in an uncomfortable voice. Someone ELSE?! What is this! So here I am standing here waiting for the evil slut's name. I hate her, who ever she is.

"Emma... I-- I don't like anyone else." He said quickly.

This is really unlike you, Gregg. You're talking in circles.

He pulled into a parking spot and opened my door for me. Becca was just getting out of her car... the poor thing came alone. Ugh, I'm so awful.

"Beck!" I cried, walking towards her as fast as I could. "Becca, I'm so sorry... I didn't meant to be nasty to you yesterday. I was mad at Elliot and Rachael and I took it out on you."

"You don't hate me?" she asked.

"I couldn't hate you, you're a great person." I said, honestly. Really... I felt like I should have been in some lame teenager movie, but it was really how I felt.

"Emma, I forgive you... but, you made me feel pretty awful... and I don't know how close I can get to you anymore."

No. This isn't how movies work. "Well, I'll be the best friend I can..." I said quietly.

She gave me a little smile and walked away.

Gregg walked over beaming at me. "I'm proud of you Emma."

"Thank you, Gregg." I said, sighing softly.

Love, I decided, is a ridiculous emotion that I need no part of.

"Emma... I lied to you."

"What? Oh God, you like Heather after all."

"No!" he said stopping on the sidewalk into the Hall.

"What then?"

"There is someone I like..." he said, but then paused. "There is someone I love."

No. No No No No. NO. We're only 18, you can't love someone when you're 18. Come on. NO!

"I love you, Emma."

"What?" I said, shocked.

He looked almost terrified.

Oh God! "Gregg... I love you, too."

He grinned in a way that I have never seen anyone grin before. Then he leaned towards me and gently put his lips to mine. I have never felt more absolutely happy in my life.

My gosh... teenagers have issues.