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Lizzy spent the day after Darcy's confession in her room studying and trying hard to push the thoughts of him far from her mind. She was never completely successful. But she blamed that on Charlotte, because every other word her roommate spoke had something to do with Darcy. After being able to dodge most of her roommate's questions regarding the previous night, Lizzy was taken off guard by Charlotte's next comment.
"And, did you know, Michael moved in with Richard? It's true, Lizzy. I heard it from Mariah..." Charlotte gave her a knowing glance. "It is obvious Richard couldn't stand the thought of you and Darcy together and told Darcy either give you up or move out."
"It is not obvious that is what happened. Aren't you forgetting Char, Darcy and I are not together in any way, shape, or form?" Lizzy glanced out the window trying to get a grip on her own annoyance. "I'm sure it is just a misunderstanding between them, something minor they will work out in time."
"Well, Amy told Mariah at lunch today that Darcy was interested in only you..." She dropped onto her bed a dreamy expression oh her face. "I just want to say I told you so, Lizzy. God, it is so romantic...he's been pining for you all this time. Can you imagine what he must have went through when you were Richard?"
There were so many times I fantasized there was nothing between you and Richard...that you didn't want him...that you wanted me instead. She rubbed her temple trying to get Darcy's words out of her memory. "Charlotte, you really do have quite the imagination."
"Lizzy," Her roommate sat back up in her bed. "Are you all right?"
"I just have a headache." She returned her attention to her studies trying hard to forget the events of the weekend.
On Monday, she had just completed a frustrating run on Suicide Hill with Mariah when she saw Darcy returning from the opposite path with Michael. When the four converged on the grassy field, she was thankful her blush was masked her exertion. She was relieved to break for dinner since Darcy preferred to eat his dinner studying in his room and almost never ate with the team. In fact she had been so sure of his routine, that when he took the seat directly across from her at the dinner table, she almost choked on her salad.
"Not studying tonight, Darcy?" Michael teased from down the table.
"Well, you know what they say about all work and no play." His grin was barely concealed by the glass of water he was drinking. By God, he was arrogant! He's doing this on purpose to unnerve me.
Michael captured the attention of the table telling them a funny story about Coach LaSalle and then launched them into a conversation about their chances of qualifying for Nationals.
"I just hope I make it." Mariah said shyly.
"I'm sure you will." Elizabeth glanced up surprised at the unexpected sound of Darcy's voice. On the rare occasions he joined the team for dinner, he never spoke unless someone posed a question directly at him. "You were really close during our last meet. All you need to do is relax and take it easy this week."
"I'll try to remember that, Darcy." Mariah's voice had turned almost wistful.
"Mariah, people tend to push themselves too hard in the pursuit of things they want only to discover the best way to obtain them..." Darcy wrapped spaghetti around his fork before boldly bringing his gaze to meet hers, "is by letting nature take its course." She felt her face flame as her mind tried to decipher exactly what he meant by letting nature take its course. She could practically feel the giddy vibes emanating from Charlotte. Much to her dismay, the rest of the table's occupants seemed to divide their amused looks between her and Darcy. There was a marked lull in the conversation.
"Err, yeah, exactly what Darcy said." Michael looked a little confused, "Mariah, it's just like I was telling you about your stride, if you let it come by naturally..."
Tuesday brought Dr. Carter's class, where not only was she destined to see Darcy again, but more than likely forced to see Roan too. Darcy, she was relieved to find, was in seated beside Karen and surrounded by his adoring fans. She took her own seat and prayed that Roan would either skip class or be too embarrassed to approach her. Of course, Lizzy's luck was true to form: terrible.
Roan took the seat beside her. "Hey, beautiful." She nearly gasped when she saw his face. He looked as if he had tangled with a meat grinder and the grinder had won. "Lizzy, I just want you to know how sorry I am for what happened...." He moved closer invading her personal space. "When I saw you with Darcy, I must have just lost it. The way you were dressed and the way he was looking at you. I just couldn't take it. And, then when I thought you were going to leave with him..."
She held her temper. "I wasn't going to leave with him until you..."
"I know. I was being stupid. I just want things like they were, okay?"
Dr. Carter bounded into the room and uncharacteristically launched into his lecture without chit-chatting. After class, Lizzy tried to escape without having to talk to Roan, but he caught her on the path to the cafeteria. He pulled her to a stop, then into an unwanted hug. "God, I've missed the feel of you..."
"Stop it, Roan..." She wiggled out of his hug, but his hands closed on her upper arms.
"I know I need to get help with my drinking, Lizzy. I'll go to AA. I'll do whatever it takes. I know I can do anything as long as you are by my side."
She could feel the strength in his hands and knew that he could physically hurt her very easily. She spoke as calmly as possible trying to keep her fear from showing in her voice. "You're hurting me. Roan let go of me."
"I don't care if you did something with Darcy. It's all right if you let him..." He shook his head as if ridding himself of an unpleasant thought. "Look, it doesn't matter. I'm sure you aren't the first he lured in and tossed aside. It doesn't matter, because I don't want to lose you. I'll put up with the rumors if it means we can still be together. I won't think less of you, I promise. And, I forgive you. In fact, as far as I'm concerned it's an even trade. I'll forgive you for...you know...and you forgive me for hitting you ..."
"Let go of me." She knew he was going to try to kiss her and the thought made bile rise in her throat. She twisted harder, but his lips only inched closer. "No, Roan, don't."
"I think it would be wise if you did as Elizabeth asks." Darcy's voice was commanding, and Lizzy could not deny a rush of relief at his appearance.
"This is a private conversation Williams."
"That's too bad because it is going to become awful public if you don't let her go."
Roan faced Darcy. "Why should you care? You had your fun with her..."
Darcy cocked his head to an angle, reminding Lizzy of an eagle sizing up his prey. "Keep pressing your luck Roan and you and I are going to have a severe problem. I got the distinct impression the other night that you didn't want to have another problem with me." She knew Darcy was not issuing an idle threat.
Roan went white under his purple face. "No, I don't want a problem with you."
"Good. That's good." Darcy kept a fixed gaze on the tall man. "Because, I'm going to take it personally if I catch you ever touching her again. In fact, I wouldn't let my gaze linger on her too long if I were you. Do you understand me?"
"I understand." Then without another word, Roan pushed by her. Only then did Darcy approach her. "Did he hurt you?" She shook her head and he gently placed his hands where Roan's just had been. "Are you sure you are all right? Do you want to sit down?" He looked around for a bench.
"No, I'm fine." People passing them were offering them curious looks and she knew this was only going to fuel the rumor frenzy already swirling around campus. "I promised Richard I would meet him for lunch at the cafeteria...I'd better be going."
He immediately dropped his hands from her and glanced at the small crowd as if noticing them for the first time. "Yeah, I wouldn't want you to keep him waiting."
She spent most of Wednesday unconsciously looking for him every time she was on the quad. At practice, she found out he took the day off to rest a sore hip flexor. She skipped dinner herself to open the math lab on time. But every time the lab door opened, she found herself looking up expectantly. And each time it turned out to be someone else, she felt her heart sink a little. By the time she locked Dr. Wingate's office, she felt jumpy. She saw heard a door close down the deserted hallway and she felt an eerie sensation crawl up her back. Had Roan come back to finish our talk? She swallowed the lump in her throat. "Hello? Is anyone there?" When no one answered, she laughed at her own fright and then turned to come face to chest with Darcy.
"Oh, Jesus." Her hand went to her heart. "You scared me."
"I was just leaving the library and saw Dr. Wingate's light was still on. I thought I'd stop by to see if you wouldn't mind an escort home."
She nodded her agreement. As had been their habit in the past, they fell into an easy discussion; neither alluded to what had transpired between them over the weekend or what had happened with Roan the day before. When they arrived at Mercer Hall, she turned to face him feeling strangely awkward. "Thanks for walking me back..." It seemed all of a sudden as if completing a sentence was a monumental feat. "I wanted to thank you for what you did yesterday. I didn't then because we...there were so many..."
"Because we had an audience?" He offered, smiling lazily, looking perfectly composed.
"Yes." She licked her lips then realized what she had done and blushed. "So, thank you for walking me home tonight and thank you for being there for me yesterday."
"It was my pleasure. Both times." His eyes held hers questioningly. "Well..." He cleared his throat. "I guess I'd better see myself home. I've got some studying left to do."
When Lizzy's alarm announced Thursday, she slammed it into silence and drug herself out of bed. The woman facing her in the mirror looked absolutely dreadful. The bruise along her cheek had turned a garish purple and her split lip had finally started to knit back together, but the most alarming thing about her image was the huge gray half moons under her eyes. The nightmares were back and worse than ever.
Richard gave her a concerned look when she took her seat in Anatomy. When Dr. Moss passed out the quiz results from Tuesday she was relieved to see even in her state, she could still ace a test. After class, she caught up to Richard. "How did you do?"
"I got a B." He swung her into a hug in his happiness. "I actually got a B." He lowered her back to earth. "And, it's all because of you, Lizzy. You bring out the best in a man."
"Don't give me all the credit. You worked hard for that grade and you deserve to be proud of yourself." She nudged his shoulder as they began walking. "Speaking of proud, I heard that you and Charles are going to start for Xavier this year."
"Yeah, it's still unofficial but Coach pretty much told us. A bunch of us are going on an unofficial retreat this weekend. Charles' family has a condo in Florida and we are all going to unwind." Richard turned his class ring. "Some of the guys are bringing their girlfriends with them...it seems like it will be a great time."
"I'm sure it will be. Much more fun than the meet I'm going to be at. Virginia. Brrrrr. Can you say cold?" She laughed good-naturedly. "I can't wait for cross-country to end and basketball season to start. I just know you guys are going to take us to the Tourney this year. Just remember I'm cheering for you."
"Thanks, Lizzy. That means a lot to me."
Her good mood carried her into Dr. Carter's class where she was pleased to find Roan had relocated. He sat four rows away from her and was currently flirting with a leggy brunette who seemed more interested in his basketball stories than political history. Shortly after Dr. Carter began his lecture, Lizzy felt her energy drain. The room was too hot and the teacher's words seem to flow into nonsense. Every time her head became too heavy for her neck and flopped forward, she would jerk straight only to drift back to sleep seconds later. When Dr. Carter turned down the lights and turned on the projector, she gave up the battle completely and lowered her head onto her folded arms.
She heard the click in the lock and she moved further under the stairs. Small. She had to make herself very small. Smaller. If she got small enough, he wouldn't find her. She had been VERY BAD...and she knew what he was like when he was VERY MAD. She could smell him even at a distance. It was a nauseating mixture of Whiskey and Urine. She pressed against the wall. Small. "Come here!" It was his raspy voice. "I know you are down there. Come out now and it won't be that bad...." She knew better. It was always BAD when she had been BAD. She heard his boots on the steps right above her head and she cowered in fear. SMALL. She had to be small. "You should not have broken that glass, Lizzy..." His footsteps stopped in front of the closet and she whimpered. "Bad girls try to get out of their punishment...and I won't let you be a bad girl." She covered her mouth to prevent it from making another sound, but it was in vain. Another whimper escaped. Then, the door opened and she felt his hands pulling on her. She screamed.
"Miss Bennet?"
Elizabeth felt her chest heaving, breathing harder than she ever did when she ran. She took in her surroundings. She was in a dark room.... a classroom...she was at Xavier. She was safe. The lights flicked on and she heard Dr. Carter ask again. "Miss Bennet?"
"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry." She stood but then felt her world spin as blackness took over.
Then, the rain came. The droplets ran down her cheeks to her neck seeping into her shirt. "Cold. I'm cold and I don't like the rain."
"You don't?" Darcy's teasing voice did not belong in her rain. She opened her eyes slowly and saw him peering down at her. His teasing voice contrasted severely with the concern in his eyes. "I personally like the rain. It's snow I detest."
"Where am I?"
"Dr. Carter's office." He placed the wet towel back on her forehead.
"How did I get here?"
He ignored her question. "Elizabeth, I didn't think it was possible but you truly look worse than you did yesterday."
"Gee thanks." She laughed dryly. "And, you still give the best compliments."
A smile visited his lips briefly before his brow furrowed. "Do you think you can sit up?"
She did slowly. "I haven't been sleeping so well lately...."
"That's apparent." He hunched down so their eyes were on the same level. "And, just when was the last time you ate?"
"I ate..." She thought. She had slept too late to eat breakfast this morning and she had skipped dinner the night before because of lab. Lunch yesterday, then? She bit her lip trying to remember. Did I eat lunch yesterday? Or was that Tuesday? "I ate lunch yesterday, I think..."
"Elizabeth..." It was a hiss. "You can't keep doing this to yourself. It isn't healthy."
"I know." There was no point in denying it. She was too tired to deny it. He brushed her cheek with his fingers and his eyes softened. She whimpered softly. She didn't want to let him in close to her. If she let him pass her defenses again, it would hurt that much more when he left. She turned away from his touch. "Don't."
He allowed her to stand unassisted, but insisted he see her home. Once in her room, she fell back into bed fully clothed and woke covered in sweat from another nightmare. When she stepped out of her shower, Charlotte greeted her and motioned to the McDonald's bag on her desk. "What's that?"
"That...is Darcy's idea of dinner for you." Charlotte wrinkled her nose distastefully. "He was waiting in the lobby when I got back from the cafeteria and he made me promise to wake you up and feed you when I got up here."
She opened the bag cautiously inspecting its inventory. Cheeseburgers and fries with a large chocolate shake. The smell of the greasy food made her stomach knot in anticipation. It dawned on her, after she polished off the last remaining fry, that he ordered her cheeseburgers the way she liked them without onions or pickles. She tried to study, but the gesture just kept nagging at her mind. The minute Charlotte headed for her shower, Lizzy reached for the phone. She left a short message of thanks on his answering machine, and hung up the phone wondering where he could be so late. The unwanted thought that he was probably on another date came to her and did little for her peace of mind as she fell into another unsatisfying night of slumber.
On Friday afternoon, Lizzy found herself sitting in the Pub waiting on Caroline to arrive for their weekly lunch date. She ignored the pointed looks she was receiving from the group of girls in the booth across from hers just as she had ignored the looks from practically every patron of the tiny restaurant. Yes! Yes, I am the one that Roan slapped! And yes, that is a bruise on my check! It was then she heard of the conversation coming from the booth directly behind her.
"I know I wouldn't mind being in a teacher's office alone with Darcy Williams..."
A guy laughed. "I personally wouldn't mind being alone with that Bennet girl..." Lizzy's mouth dropped open and she leaned back further in her seat eavesdropping.
"Well, as I was saying," A second woman added. "Tara is in their political science class, and she said the minute she fainted Darcy was by her side. He wouldn't let anyone else touch her. He even carried her to Dr. Carter's office by himself and refused to leave her."
"Wow." The first woman said sighing loudly. "And, you know, he broke his dates for this whole week. The rumor is he is totally enamored with her."
"Wasn't Kara supposed to go out with him sometime this week?"
"Yes, she was. He called her Sunday after the big fight with Roan and cancelled." The man said. "She was really bummed because he was suppose to take her to the Dave Matthew's concert last night and she was so disappointed. He gave her the tickets and told her to have fun without him. He said they wouldn't be of use to him."
"I bet Lizzy doesn't like going to concerts."
It was true she did hate going to concerts. The whole crush of people and the pushing made her claustrophobic. But did Darcy know that? She drew her straw from her Sprite and drank from it. A second later, she chided herself, for buying into such gossip. She was getting as bad as everyone else. True, he had told her a great deal on Saturday night, but since then, he had made no mention of their discussion. She felt another headache coming on. Thankfully, Caroline sliding into the bench opposite from her disrupted her current chain of thoughts.
"Sorry, I'm late. Got stuck at the printers." She took off her coat and put it aside. "I did however snag a copy of the program for Romeo so you could give me your opinion."
Lizzy looked at the print. "I bet you can't wait for opening night."
"More like looking forward to closing night." Caroline admitted. "I thought being in a production was difficult, but now I know why Jack was so wiped out at the end of Phantom."
"Well, I can't wait to see this. Which reminds me, I was suppose to have an inside source for some awesome tickets." She whispered. "See, I know the director and producer personally and they promised I wouldn't be disappointed."
Caroline laid two tickets on the table between them. "Opening night. Front row, center. I had to promise to do all kinds of lewd acts with Jack to get them, but you are worth it."
"Like Jack needed to use me to get you to agree to perform lewd acts." Lizzy teased before fanning the tickets in front of her. "Two tickets, eh? Maybe I'll ask Charles to go with me. He likes the theater and he has been down lately since Julia dumped him."
"I don't think that would be a good idea. Can I make a different suggestion?"
"Sure." Lizzy amended quickly, "As long as it isn't that creepy guy that was helping design the set last time I was at the theater or that guy who worked with Tim on the lights. Yellow teeth turn me off."
"No, not Todd or Bill." As nonchalantly as she could, Caroline said. "I was thinking you could ask Darcy to take you."
The waiter magically appeared giving Lizzy a chance to cover up her discomposure at the suggestion. To prevent Caroline from continuing in the same vein, she asked, "So, is your family coming to opening night and bringing that cute brother of yours?"
"Yes, the whole family is coming and, of course, the Williams will be there."
"Of course." The last thing she needed was an invasion of more Williams when one was enough to keep her confused. Lizzy hedged. "So, how is Jack?"
"Fine. He has decided to do some summer stock up in New York so we will be able to spend a lot of time together. It was horrible for both of us commuting from Connecticut to Florida. I'm actually trying to get my parents to agree to let me do stock too and stay with him, but they are absolutely against the idea."
"Summer is still a way off so you still have time to wear them down."
"I guess." The waiter arrived and cut their pie. As she grabbed a slice, Lizzy felt her stomach revolt at the idea of eating. She forced herself to take a bite anyway. "How are your parents doing, Lizzy?"
"Well, my mom said my dad has been doing really good with his diet and she has only caught him smoking once since his last appointment."
"Well, that is encouraging news." Caroline chewed thoughtfully. "So what about you, Lizzy? You look absolutely wiped out."
"I haven't had a good night's sleep this semester." She shrugged. "I guess it's finally catching up with me. I'm going to try to get caught up on the bus ride to Virginia."
"That's a pretty cavalier attitude, don't you think? It's pretty serious if you are fainting in class, Lizzy." Irritation spread through her. Does everyone know about my swan song? "Charlotte said your nightmares have been getting worse too. Have you ever considered maybe seeing someone about them?"
"Seeing someone? Like who? A shrink?" Lizzy heard the tinge in her own voice, then calmed. "I'm not crazy, Caroline. I just have nightmares when I worry about stuff. A lot of people have nightmares. They will just pass."
She touched her arm. "You know I care about you very much, Lizzy."
"I know. I don't mean to be so cranky lately. I just feel like everyone is watching me and I have no privacy."
"And no Jane to talk to?"
"There is that too. Though I'm not sure if I could even talk with her about all of this..." Lizzy let her words trail as the trio who sat behind her past their table. The three all looked a little startled to see her, but immediately launched into another round of whispers and giggles. "I feel like I'm living in a fishbowl."
"Don't worry about all of this rumor stuff. It will all blow over soon enough. Why, something more exciting will probably happen this weekend and everyone will be talking about that instead of you and Darcy."
"I certainly hope so."
"I imagine it has to make things rather awkward for you and Darcy." Lizzy did not say anything and Caroline asked, "Has Roan bothered you any more since the altercation outside of class with Darcy?"
"There was no 'altercation.' Geez, why does everyone insist on making things dramatic?"
"Well, it seems more romantic than dramatic to me. I mean Darcy just happens to show up whenever you need him...like a personal knight in shining armor..."
"Personal knight in shining armor? Okay now, I am getting scared. You are starting to sound just like Charlotte. Darcy did what he would've done for any woman in trouble."
"I see." Caroline's voice arched. "So, was moving out of his room is something he would have done for anyone?"
"You know, it's not unheard of for roommates to disagree about something. Even you and Karen disagree."
"We disagree over whose turn it is to take out the garbage, not the fact that we are both in love with the same man."
"I'm sure that they aren't in love with the same man either." Lizzy retorted then continued, "I would've thought you wouldn't buy into the rumors flying around campus. Come on, you remember what it was like when you and Darcy broke up?"
"If you remember correctly, the rumors were absolutely true about Jack and me." Caroline chose another piece of pizza. "Has Richard said anything to you about it?"
"No. He's been as friendly as always in class and we even had lunch together Monday. Don't you think if they argued about me Richard would have said something to me or acted strangely around me? "
"No, not necessarily, especially if he isn't ready to give up on you yet. Maybe, he thinks he still has a chance to win you back from Darcy."
"Win me back from Darcy? I take back what I said earlier...you are worse than Charlotte." Lizzy shook her head standing.
"You're not leaving?"
"I must. If I want to make it to the math lab in time for the freshmen onslaught, I have to go now. Cal I is having their midterm today and you know how everyone waits until the last minute to study."
"At least take a slice of pizza with you. I don't want you fainting again."
Taking the last piece from the remains of their small pizza, Lizzy took a large bite from it before discarding it on her plate. "There. Satisfied?" She winked and then darted off.
Surrounded by desperate students was not Elizabeth's favorite way to spend an afternoon but it did pay the bills. After the last ones finally trickled toward their classes, she was pleased she still had enough time to grab a long hot shower before she had to be at the bus for the trip to Virginia. The thought of having to be stuck with Darcy for hours on a small bus was not reassuring, but she reminded herself she had every intention of catching up on much needed sleep.
"Lizzy." She turned surprised at hearing Charlotte's voice. Her roommate never ventured onto this side of campus. She avoided anything mathematical or scientific like the plague. "Char, what a pleasant surprise. What are you doing here?"
"Lizzy." Something in the way Charlotte said her name the second time made a chill go down Lizzy's back. She noted her roommate's pale face. "Your mom just called. Your dad....I'm sorry, Lizzy... but your dad had a heart attack about an hour ago. You mom is with him at UK hospital in the ICU..."
Lizzy grabbed the doorway for support. Not another heart attack. "Char, I...omygod, I...have to go home."
Charlotte offered. "I'll tell my father what happened and let him know you won't be able to come to the meet."
"The meet?" Lizzy blinked.
"Lizzy, why don't I go back to the room with you and..."
"I've got to go, Char."
Lizzy bolted for the door not hearing anything else her friend yelled after her. As she ran through the driving rain, her mind ran through a short list of people she could call for a ride home, but all were either headed to Virginia with the team, going on the basketball retreat or were involved in Caroline's final rehearsals. Once back in her room and after a brief glance at her meager balance in her checkbook, she formulated a plan. She would take a Metro downtown to the Greyhound station and hop the first bus home. After a quick call to get the schedule and another to let her mother know her intentions, she grabbed her packed bag, shut the door behind her and headed back out into the storm.
I'm coming, Dad. You just hang on. Please hang on.
"I want to stay out of this thing between you and Richard as much as possible," Charles closed his suitcase. "But, I want you to know you were right to tell him."
"I just wish I had just been honest with him from the beginning. I should have told him I was attracted to her the first day I met her, but I didn't." He shrugged sheepishly. "I thought I would take things slow with Elizabeth. I'd see other people. She'd see other people. There would be no pressure for anything serious right away. That way, it would give Richard time to get comfortable with the idea of my dating her. But after I went out with her Friday, it felt so right, Charles. I couldn't imagine seeing anyone else. And then, when Roan hit her, I lost it...By the time Richard confronted me about it, I couldn't hide how I felt anymore."
"You did the right thing."
"I know I did. Richard told me that she couldn't stand me and that one night wasn't going to change that. He said he knew her better than I did and that there was no way I could give her what she needed."
"Richard was angry with you."
"Maybe." Darcy ran a hand through his hair. "I told him even if that was truly how she felt about me, it didn't change how I felt about her. He asked me what that meant and I just blurted the truth out. I've never felt so low in all my life. I felt like I was trying to steal his girlfriend or something..."
"She's not his girlfriend anymore, Darcy. They haven't dated in months and for all intents and purposes, he has appeared to move on."
"But I knew he hadn't! Every time he would talk to her on the phone, every time he saw her with Roan. I knew. Deep down I knew he was biding his time to get her back." Darcy slumped. "He said he wasn't going to make it easy for me to win her and that he was going to fight for her. I told him I understood because if our roles were reversed, I'd fight for her too."
"Are you scared she'll choose him?"
"I'm terrified." He felt his jaw tighten. "I've lost everything if she does. There is no way Richard would stand for us having time alone together. And even if he is a gracious winner, the fact that she knows how I really feel about her would always be a barrier between us. Either way things will never be the way they were last spring. I'm afraid I'm in an 'all or nothing' situation now."
"I'm sure your chances are better than his. Jane told Michael she thought Lizzy only went out with him the first place because she thought it would make you happy. I can't remember now exactly what Jane said, but it had something to do with you calling her "Richard's girl" all the time."
"I'm sure she didn't just go out with him to make me happy..." As much as Darcy wished that it was true, his own sense of reason refused to let him.
"Well, it was obvious your friendship was very important to her. Jane said Lizzy respected you a great deal." Charles shrugged. "And she seemed to imply that for Lizzy that was saying a lot. Jane once compared their friendship to peeling an onion. The deeper she went, the more things Lizzy threw up to make her stop. Like an onion, the chemicals it releases make you cry, to make you stop prying. Jane said over the years she found out that certain subjects were just off limits and avoided them."
"When did Jane become so wise?"
"I think she always was, but you've had a habit of underestimating her." Charles chewed his lip. "I've been meaning to ask your advice about something, Darcy. When Jane comes back next semester, do you think I should ask her out? I mean, did you get the impression that while she has been in France she has 'settled down' any? That she might be ready to enter into a real relationship with someone, with me?"
"I don't know. When she calls, she doesn't talk about guys with me."
"Well, it's not like she ever was very interested in me before she left ..." Charles sighed. "I guess you think I'm pretty silly even to hope, huh?"
"No, you aren't silly. If I've learned anything from this situation, it is that a man has to cling to his hope. Look, I don't know how Jane feels about you, but I do know I gave you some terrible advice last fall. I should have never have interfered when you asked me if you should ask her out. You should have just taken your chances." Darcy zipped his bag shut and sat it on the floor. "If I were you, when Jane comes back to campus, I would tell her exactly how you feel about her and take your chances. Be honest, and if your heart gets broken, at least you've risked it and you know."
"To love and to have lost is better than never loving at all." Charles sounded wistful.
"That is pretty sappy, but something like that." Darcy tried to cheer up his friend. "Hey, don't you have a car pool waiting on you to take you to Florida?"
"Yeah, I do. Good luck tomorrow. I hope you qualify for Nationals."
"I'll do my best. Hey, Charles..." His roommate stopped in the doorway. "Keep an eye on Richard for me and make sure he stays out of trouble."
Charles gave him an understanding smile. "I'll try, Darcy."
The thunder didn't bother him. The rain coming down in buckets never occurred to him. Darcy was much too consumed with his thoughts as he walked to meet up with the rest of the team to notice the weather. He hadn't quite worked out how he was going to do it yet, but he was determined to sit near her. Even if they didn't talk, or they talked about safe topics, he wanted to be close to her. Even if she ignored him, he wanted to be able to hear her laugh, to smell her perfume. He allowed himself a moment to daydream about actually sharing a seat with her and then he laughed at himself. I've got it bad!
And, I don't care! He was just like those love struck fools he had always sneered at for wearing their hearts on their sleeves; but now that he had joined their ranks, he wouldn't change the way he felt. Elizabeth was the most amazing woman. Even after she had fainted, she had been ready to parry with him. He remembered how drawn he had been to her the moment he saw the misery in her eyes. He just wanted to take her pain upon himself and carry it for her for a while. It was natural for him to reach out to brush her cheek, to touch her, to feel her.
And she didn't want me touching her.
He shook himself from the thought. I still have to earn the right to comfort her. He had promised her time and he was going to give it to her.
The group he found assembled for the trip was not what Darcy expected. Instead of the jovial crew he had left at dinner the night before, the milling runners all seemed dispirited. Darcy added his bag with the others to be stowed below the bus before turning to his friend. "Man, who died?"
"Poor choice of wording, Darcy." Michael pulled him off to the side. "Charlotte got a call from Lizzy's mom about an hour ago. Her dad had a heart attack this morning. Charlotte said she totally freaked and ran off by herself..."
"I take it you've told him, then?" Charlotte joined them.
"How is she getting home?" Darcy grabbed his cell from his pocket then waited for her answer. "How, Char?"
"I don't know." She shrugged, clearly upset about Lizzy. "Maybe Caroline or Richard know...I would have loaned her my car but it's in the shop again."
"She could have borrowed mine but she never asked." Michael added.
Darcy made a quick call, but there was no answer at Elizabeth's room. He tried Caroline's but there was no answer there either. "Damn! Richard is gone already. So is Charles. And Caroline has full rehearsal for her play this weekend." He tried to reach Caroline at the theater next but found out after a short conversation with Jack that Elizabeth hadn't contacted either of them. He turned back to Charlotte again. "Who else would she have tried to call?"
"I don't know." Worry knotted Charlotte's brow. "She just ran off, Darcy. I tried to stop her, but she was too fast. By the time I got back to our room, she was gone. There was no note or anything. The only thing I can think she might have done is take a bus home. The last time her father was in the hospital I dropped her downtown at the Greyhound terminal..."
Darcy grabbed his bag from the driver's hands and over his shoulder instructed the group. "Tell Coach I can't go to the meet...tell him something important has come up."
Darcy lost little time getting out of the student parking lot. He called the station at the first light he was caught at and found out the time for the next departure for Lexington. When he got caught at another red light, he drummed his fingers impatiently on the dashboard. He checked his watch. He knew he still had plenty of time to head her off before her bus left the terminal, but it did little to ease his desperation to find her.
"C'mon, c'mon." He willed the traffic to move. The car before him made it through the light before it turned red. He cursed. Just when he was about to change lanes, he saw Elizabeth's parka out of the corner of his eye. She was walking toward a Metro stop and had her attention fixed firmly behind him. He glanced in his rearview mirror and saw the Metro bus behind him. He pulled slowly up to the curb and laid on the horn to get her attention. Once in front of her, he reached across to open the door.
She shielded her eyes to look at him. "Darcy? What are you doing here?"
"I heard about your dad..." He was impatient to get her into the car. "I'll drop you at the terminal and wait with you until the bus is called."
"You are supposed to be going to Virginia with the team."
"I can catch up with them later."
"You don't have to do this...I can take the Metro downtown..."
"Elizabeth, I will follow you to the station on that damned bus if I have to, now get in this car before you drown." With one more glance behind his car, she got into the passenger seat. He put her bag in the back seat as she pulled down her hood. "Do you know where the Greyhound terminal is?"
God, she looks awful. The marks under her eyes were nearly black. He nodded pulling his car smoothly back into traffic, knowing he had no intentions of leaving her at a bus terminal. He was going to see that she safely reached her father. He expected a fight from her, but he was determined he would not cave. She was tired and weak. And she needed to conserve what little strength she had left for what awaited her back home. As if he was preparing for a debate, he planned the way he would rebuff her argument when she discovered his plan.
Fortunately, it turned out he didn't need to argue with her. The lousy weather combined with the monotonous slap of the windshield wipers and the warmth of his heater took the fight out of her long before they had even reached the highway. She had curled up in her seat and drifted off to sleep. He turned on the radio to a jazz station and concentrated on the traffic. As he passed the exit to the Greyhound station and moments later crossed the bridge leading into Kentucky, he sighed in relief. Now if she woke up, she would have little choice but to accept his help.
For the next two hours, she slept while he drove. He realized they would have to stop soon because he didn't know how to find the hospital. Pulling off to the Georgetown rest stop, he left her sleeping in the car, and seeing his cell phone had died, located a pay phone to call the one person in the area he knew would be able to reach Fanny Bennet.
His aunt's maid informed him that Lola was out for the evening due to a family emergency, but could be reached by cell phone. He jotted the number down and she answered on the second ring.
"Darcy?" Her voice cut in and out through the poor connection. "Dear, I can't really talk right now. I'm waiting for a call from Lizzy. She's supposed to be on the next bus and they are running behind schedule...this rain is a nightmare..."
"Elizabeth is with me." Darcy glanced back at his car barely able to even see it in the downpour. "We are at a rest stop. I need directions to the hospital."
"Why do you need directions? She knows the way."
"She is sleeping and I don't want to wake her if I don't have to."
"Oh." There was a curious note to Lola's voice. "Do you have a pen?"
He quickly took the directions and repeated them to her. "We should be there, if the weather cooperates, within the next hour or so." He used the facilities and bought himself some coffee to keep him alert before returning to his car.
When he opened the door, he found himself under scrutiny by a pair of tired green eyes. "What do you think you are doing, Darcy?"
He fastened his seatbelt. "It would seem I'm taking you to the hospital."
"And, what do you expect from me in return for your doing this?"
His hand stayed on his keys before turning over the ignition. She was scared and upset. No matter how much she hurt him, he had to remember that very important fact. "Are you warm enough?" He adjusted the temperature on his dash. "There is a blanket in the trunk. I could get it...I think I might even have a travel pillow..."
"I'm fine."
"Would you like my coffee?" He offered her his cup. "It takes like sludge but it is hot."
"I said I'm fine." She stared out the window determined to make the remainder of the trip in silence so he obliged her. He took the correct exit but turned off the main drag lured by the fast food signs. "What are you doing? I thought you were taking me to the hospital."
"First, you are going to eat something." She opened her mouth to protest, but he was prepared. "If you father sees you looking like this, it will likely cause him to worry. I know having him worry about you is the last thing you want." He selected one that advertised 'home cooked' meals.
As the entered the establishment, he placed his hand on her lower back and directed. "Why don't you go freshen up, while I get us a booth?"
By the time she returned, her color had improved markedly. He saw her start at the Sprite that sat at her place before taking her seat. "I hope you don't mind but I took the liberty of ordering for you."
"I'm not hungry."
He pretended not to hear her. "The waitress recommended their pot roast. She said it was probably the quickest thing they had on the menu and I knew we are in a hurry." When the waitress reappeared depositing their dishes before them, he smiled encouragingly across the table at Elizabeth. "Doesn't this smell delicious?" She merely picked at her dinner roll frowning. "You know you have to eat something."
"I can't." She dropped the roll back on her plate. "I just can't."
The sight of her bowed head tortured him. He tried to think of something to distract her, grabbing the first thought that streamed through his mind. "I bet my dinner tastes better than yours."
"What?" A tear had leaked out from the corner of her left eye.
"I bet my dinner tastes better than yours..." He repeated evenly in his best imitation of Dr. Carter's voice. "But, in order for you to make the comparison, Miss Bennet, you will of course, have to first take a bite of your dinner."
She looked at him in wonder before she took a healthy bite of a potato. "I don't know..." She chewed thoughtfully. "It would be awfully hard to beat this." He cut a portion of his roast and holding his hand under his fork, held the morsel in front of her mouth. When she accepted his offering, he was reminded of the night at Denny's. "Mmmm, I think you might be right, Darcy. Yours does taste better."
He traded plates with her and he tried not to watch her eat her dinner. When they finished, the waitress returned, setting two boxes on the table before him.
She smiled. "Don't tell me you ordered dessert to go too?"
"No, actually I ordered dinner for your mother and Lola. I imagine the food here has to be better than the hospital vending machines. We could get something to go if you want..." He turned to look for the waitress.
"No, I don't want anything else." She touched his hand drawing his attention firmly back to her. The gratitude glowing in her eyes made him break the contact as he stood quickly. I want her love not her gratitude. "Are you ready Elizabeth?"
Since the rain had still not let up, Darcy dropped Elizabeth at the front of the hospital while he located a spot in the crowded parking area. Once he reached the ICU, he was redirected to the correct floor. He made the walk there slowly, conscious of giving her some time alone with her family. He didn't want to intrude on their grief, but he wanted to be there for her if she needed him. At the nurse's station he was informed by a stern faced nurse that Mr. Bennet was only allowed visits by direct relations and that he would have to take a seat in the waiting room. He was flipping through a year old Reader's Digest when Lola joined him there some time later. "There you are. We've been waiting for you to join us. Why didn't you come to Ben's room?"
"The nurse said only family was allowed back..."
"You should've said you were family. They wouldn't know the difference anyway."
"So, how is he?"
"Cranky. Ben is many things, but he is not a good patient. Fanny is going to have her hands full when they release him."
"They aren't going to release him tonight? The man just had a heart attack."
"No, they won't release him tonight. They are going to keep him for observation tonight. Tomorrow, they'll run more of the same tests they ran last time he was here. And then, if he is able, they'll send him home on Sunday. There's not much they can do for him."
"Nothing they can do for him?" He discarded his magazine. "Couldn't they do surgery? I'm sure that there is something..."
"He's had two surgeries already and Dr. Angelo told them he did not think Ben would make it through a third one. His heart...his heart, it would seem, is just wearing itself out. Poor Fanny. Losing him is going to kill her. And, Lizzy...well, you've seen Lizzy...she is going to be devastated. He is her rock." Lola dabbed at her eyes with a tissue she fished out of her purse. "Well. I was given strict orders by Fanny to bring you back so she could thank you properly for all you've done today. Lizzy told us how you insisted on bringing us dinner, which was a good thing because neither of us had thought much about eating today. It was very thoughtful of you, Darcy. Anne would be quite proud of how much you are turning out like your father." Saying this, she led him down a long hall past the nurse who glanced at him suspiciously before returning to her charts.
Darcy's eyes sought Elizabeth out the minute they entered the small room. She was sitting next to her father one of her hands on the bedrail while the other was firmly clasped in his. When the door swished close behind them, he heard Ben tell her. "You know how I feel about this. I will not back down from this point.. You gave me your word this summer, and once a Bennet gives his word about something he stands behind it. There will be no argument on this point, Lizzy-Bear."
"But, daddy..." Darcy felt like he was intruding and made for the door.
"And, where are you going, young man?" Ben's voice was tired. "I hope you aren't squeamish about hospitals and the sick. I hope you aren't one of those types of men."
Darcy turned back. "No, sir. I'm not squeamish."
"Well, that is good. Lizzy, you should have seen Marcus the last time I was here and he came to visit me. You remember don't you Lola...they had to call in a nurse just to keep him upright. I've never seen that particular shade of green before." Ben laughed before returning his gaze to Darcy. "So, what is it with this sir business? I'm just Ben. Do you think you can remember that?"
"Yes, sir. I mean Ben."
Ben clucked his tongue. "Not bright this new beau of yours, Lizzy."
"Dad, he isn't my beau." Darcy saw her face turn red in embarrassment.
Ben patted her hand. "I knew he wasn't very bright."
"Ben, leave Darcy alone." Fanny came out of the small bathroom carrying a glass. "He was kind enough to bring Lizzy down to see you." To Darcy, she said. "Just ignore him. When he gets going like that, he is impossible to talk sense to."
"Why does he look familiar to me?" Ben asked pulling himself upright.
"Darcy is my nephew from Connecticut." Lola pushed him forward. "You sat with my sister and her family at Morgan's wedding...."
"Oh, that's right. You were the one who tried to steal my Lizzy away during the last dance of the night..." Ben drank from the glass of water his wife brought him. "So, did you ever get that dance, Darcy?"
"Yes, I did." Darcy was amused when Elizabeth turned an even darker shade of red. "She took pity on me at the pumpkin festival I took her to just this past weekend."
"You took my Lizzy to a pumpkin festival this weekend..." Ben's eyes narrowed. "Were you also the one who did that to her face?"
Darcy's jaw clenched at the accusation. "Sir, I would never...."
"Dad, I already told you what happened." She gave Darcy a pleading look. "I fell at a party on campus."
Darcy felt the weight of Ben's stare as it never wavered from him. "Is that the truth?"
Darcy was not accustomed to lying but Elizabeth was worth doing things he was not accustomed to. She had her own reasons for keeping the truth from her father. "It is true that she fell at a party."
Ben looked as if the matter was not completely settled but stopped when the door opened and the nurse from the front desk entered. The nurse silently checked Ben's IV and started to exit the room, but locked eyes with Darcy. "Visitation for everyone is over at nine. You have five minutes. You can come back tomorrow at noon."
"See, what I have to put up with, Fanny?" Ben lamented from his spot on the bed when she left the room. "She has the bedside manner of Oscar the Grouch. I don't know why they just won't let me go home. You would take much better care of me than she can."
"Dr. Angelo wants to keep you overnight for observation, daddy, you know that." The tenderness of Elizabeth's smile when she brushed her father's graying hair was enough to make Darcy shiver. How would it feel to have her look at me that way? "Now you just remember not to wear yourself out flirting with all the pretty nurses..."
Lola whispered. "Why don't we give Ben a few minutes to say goodnight to his girls?"
Once in the waiting area, his aunt turned to him. "Where are you spending the night?"
"I confess I hadn't really thought about it." He had been too consumed with getting to the hospital that he had not thought about his plans beyond that.
"I'd invite you to stay with me, but I don't think my roof is the one that you want to be sleeping under."
"Aunt Lola..." He blushed, following her back toward the elevator bank.
"Tell Fanny I'll stop by tomorrow, but that I had to scoot because Ivan needed me at home. Tell them you will drop them home before finding a hotel." She put on her jacket after pressing the down button. "But don't worry, Fanny will invite you to stay with them. She couldn't bear sending you out into the cold, wet night all alone." The elevator opened and she stepped inside. "I think you'll like the Bennet brand of Kentucky hospitality."
While he wondered at his aunt's sanity and whether he was up to the temptation of spending the night with the Bennets, Elizabeth exited her father's room and sagged against the wall, all evidence of her earlier strength gone. She straightened as he approached her and quickly wiped the evidence of her tears away from her cheeks.
Without even looking at him, she said. "This is his third time here in the last eight months. You would think it would get easier...but it doesn't. It only gets harder e-every time...it just gets harder." She turned her face into his shoulder and he felt a shudder go through her. Silently, he wrapped his arms around, her knowing there was nothing he could really say to take away her pain. He always hated it when people told him it would be all right when his mother was in the hospital. Some things would never be "all right." When she pulled back from him after a few brief moments, he let her go.
A second later Fanny joined them in the hallway. "Where'd Lola go?"
"She left. She said she'd be back tomorrow but Ivan needed her at home." Darcy pocketed his hands. "I told her it would be no problem giving you a lift back to your house since I have to head back to the highway to find a hotel anyway...."
"A hotel?" Fanny shook her brown curls. "No friend of Lizzy's is going to spend the night at a hotel when there is room at our home. Granted you will have to make do with a lumpy couch, but I couldn't have you spend the night at a hotel. Not after all you've done for us." Fanny looped her hand through his arm and would not accept an argument in the matter.
Darcy glanced about his unusual sleeping quarters. He smiled as he remembered how Fanny had insisted he start a fire in the hearth and then forced a large mug of homemade cocoa into his hands. Elizabeth appeared moments later carrying linens and looking thoroughly displeased with her mother's ministrations. He wondered exactly how far away her daughter wished him to be at that exact moment. Alaska? Siberia?
Not able to sleep, he prowled the room. Fanny's claim that the couch, which clearly had seen better days, was lumpy was a severe understatement. The sturdy wooden bookcases along the far wall were packed with books and videotapes but as he browsed them no title caught his eye. There was a TV and VCR in the small entertainment center but watching TV held no appeal for him. His eyes fell on the last piece of furniture in the room. It was a large display case built out of the same cherry as most of the pieces in the room.
A pair of bronzed children's shoes sat beside pictures on one shelf. They were smaller than he would have imagined for a seven-year-old girl but the sentiment touched him. There were various trophies and ribbons beside a piece of porcelain with a child's handprint. He placed his hand over the indention and read the small child's handwriting. "Happy Father's Day, love Lizzy-Bear." Her medal from Nationals hung from a hook above the top shelf. Beneath it, filling two shelves, was a well-worn collection of photo albums. He ran his hand over them, selected one at random and returned to the couch. He put his mug down on the handsomely carved coffee table and opened the album eagerly. And it was then that he discovered Elizabeth.
From the first page, a sad child with curly fire engine red hair and emerald eyes stared back at him. There was no trace of a smile on her face and the scar on her chin was a grotesque deep red. He ran his finger over it before turning his attention to the next photo. She was surrounded by toys, but not playing with one. The next was of her sitting in a tire swing, but not swinging. She had a sort of blank facial expression, not smiling or upset. Just blank. In the first family pictures of the Bennets, she stood off from the happy couple. In later ones, Ben had looped an arm around her but it was evidently done last minute as if Elizabeth was trying to escape the photo itself.
Slowly, the morose girl began changing as Darcy flipped the pages. A hint of a smile began somewhere in the middle of the first album and blossomed into an open grin by the end. He put the first album aside and selected the next one. Jane became prominent in this one, Marcus and Moe joined somewhere in the third. There were pictures of the four children from Valentine's Day, Easter, and summer vacations. There were photos of her by herself laughing and carving a jack-o-lantern, with a group of kids her age baking cookies, and with Ben raking leaves. As the albums progressed, Darcy found pictures of her running, pictures of her playing basketball, pictures singing in a choir, pictures of her with various groups of people her age. There were pictures of Proms and Homecomings where Marcus stood proudly at her side. One had her behind a podium evidently delivering her valedictory speech. The program from that day was across from it. He shut the album and reached for the next.
"What do you think you are doing?" He started at hearing Elizabeth's voice. "Those are my fathers." She rushed into the room and began gathering the numerous albums in her arms from the coffee table. "You shouldn't be looking at these. They belong on the shelf..." She faced the case. "You've moved everything around...you had no right." He got up from his spot on the couch and joined her in carrying the final two albums. He sat them down on the floor next to her as she frantically sorted the albums chronologically and began putting them in proper order. "You've messed them all up."
He stayed her with a hand. "Elizabeth..."
"You had no right going through his things..." She said in a tight voice as she shook off his touch. "You had no right looking at our life together."
"I'm sorry." He said softly as he knelt next to her. He picked up one of the albums. "Let me help you..."
"No, don't." She snatched the album out of his hands. "I think you've helped me enough for one day!"
He rocked back on his heels. "Does it make you feel better to say things like that to me?" She stopped and he saw her strong shoulders quake. He inched closer to her and put his arms around her hesitantly. He had expected her to pull away from him, but instead she leaned against him. For a long time, they did not talk. He would have been perfectly content to hold her just like this forever, but his knees complained about being pressed against the hardwood floor. Eventually, he stood up and pulled her with him, moving back to the couch. He took a seat on the couch but she stopped before him. Her hand was still in his and he looked up at her hesitation. "Nothing is going to happen, Elizabeth. I promise."
"You won't try anything?" Her voice was timid.
"You have my word." He squeezed her hand. "You can trust me."
She let him pull her onto his lap; she slid down so her head rested against his chest and her legs were stretched out into the unoccupied area of the couch. He pulled a blanket around them, securing them in a two-person cocoon.
"Helplessness is a terrible feeling." He felt her quake in his arms and he knew she was crying again. She shifted so she could slip her arms around his waist and she held on tightly as she sobbed. He continued to speak, knowing that she didn't want him drawing attention to her tears. "When my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer, she refused to let us worry about her. She wanted me to just go about my life as a normal teenager, but it would have been easier for me to fly to the moon. She kept me away when she had her surgeries and her chemo. She didn't want me to see her sick and with her hair falling out. She said she didn't want me to worry, to be afraid for her." Darcy swallowed, the lonely memories flooding through him. "I don't think she realized what I imagined she was going through during those months hurt more me more than actually seeing her would have."
Elizabeth sniffed. "She was trying to protect you because she loves you."
"I know." He buried his face in her hair. "But, she couldn't keep pushing me away. It hurt too much to be kept from her."
"So, what did you do?" Her eyes were serious and questioning.
"My junior year in high school, I drove home to surprise her. She had just gotten back from a chemo session. It had been a month since I had last seen her and in that short time all of her hair had fallen out. She became very upset at the fact I had seen her like that and my father, seeing how upset my visit made her, was understandably upset with me. As punishment, he took my car away. So, the next month, I hitchhiked home from the academy." He was surprised to hear her laugh. "I got a lecture about my reckless behavior but I think my mother realized she couldn't shelter her family from her cancer."
"She's doing better now, right?"
"She's in remission. I admire my mother, she is a fighter." He glanced down into her eyes. "You remind me a great deal of her."
"You think I'm like your mother?" She sounded shocked by his admission. "I'm nothing like her. She is poised and elegant...and I'm..."
"Strong and beautiful..." When Elizabeth looked at him, he caught his breath. She reached out to him and he felt the back of her fingers gently caress his face. "I've never seen you when you weren't clean shaven before. You're scruffy." He shut his eyes enjoying the sensation of her fingers gliding lightly over his face. "Tell me something about yourself, Darcy." She whispered. "Something no one else knows."
Unable to deny her, he told her about how he had always known what his family intended him to be. Sometimes the pressure their expectations put on him was a daunting weight that threatened to crush him. It was something he had never admitted to another soul. He realized he had been talking at some length and realized it probably was not the subject she had expected. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bore you."
"I'm not bored. Far from it." When their eyes met, he felt as if he was falling into deep green wells. His stomach had a strange sinking sensation. "Darcy?"
Her voice had been so husky he could barely form a reply. "Yes, Elizabeth."
"Did you know you have the boniest legs I've ever had my ribcage on?"
He laughed, forgetting for a moment about the desire running through him. "And, you say I can give a compliment! I think you have been taking too many lessons from me."
She giggled softly. "I only learn from the best."
As if by some unspoken agreement, they shifted until they were side-by-side on the narrow couch. Once they were comfortable, she said. "Tell me more, Darcy."
He played with her curls as he told her about his years at the academy and the pranks he pulled during his time there. She would interrupt with an occasional gasp, a question or a giggle, sending them on a different course than he had originally intended. Somewhere along the line, she snuggled even closer to him and he tightened his arms around her, reveling in the opportunity he had been given. Eventually, he heard her soft even breathing and marveled at her sleeping profile. He reached up and turned off the lamp, leaving the room dark except for the soft light coming from the dying fire. As he tried to join her in sleep, his mind returned to their earlier conversation.
"Nothing is going to happen, Elizabeth. I promise."
He faced his lie alone. Something had happened. Something he had never considered was even possible. For somewhere in the course of their 'innocent snuggling,' he had fallen deeper in love with Elizabeth Bennet. Cradling her closer to him, he kissed her temple lightly. "I love you, Beth."