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Elizabeth rolled over onto her stomach and glanced at her clock. She still had another two hours before her alarm would go off but she knew sleep would not return to her so remaining in bed would just be pointless. Conscious of not waking Charlotte, Lizzy groped in the dark for her clothes and she crept out of the dorm quietly. Her body was a ball of tightly coiled nerves and she hoped a morning run would clear jumbled thoughts floating around in her head.
In minutes, she descended the small decline leading to the cross-country course. Dew soaked her shoes as she made her way through the ankle deep grass. The sun was hesitating behind a small rise and it appeared to be blinking at her. She briefly allowed herself to enjoy the stillness of the woods around her as she completed her stretches to warm up her sleepy muscles. Elizabeth gave a final lung to her right and began a light jog. It was not long before her mind turned to matters plaguing her and tried to work through some of them while her body was engaged in physical activity. To say things had not gone as planned during the first month of her sophomore year was putting it mildly.
The biggest difference was Jane's absence. In all the years the two had been friends, there had never really been a separation of any great length or real distance between them. She knew it was unrealistic to think they would never be apart but the void caused by the separation was still difficult to deal with. Who would have thought what had begun as an invitation to spend eight weeks in France would become such a life altering event for Jane? Who would have guessed she would catch the eye of the famous modern artist, Francois Churchill? And, who would have dreamed that within a month, he would convince her to remain in France under the auspices of being his protégée?
Lizzy gritted her teeth as she began the tough climb of the first hill on the cross-country course. Her mind cycled through her last conversation with Jane.
"Lizzy, I wanted you to be the first to know. I'm not coming back to Xaiver. I'm staying here to help Frankie with his art show..."
The announcement was like a detonated H-bomb to Lizzy's carefully constructed world.
"You're staying there? In France? You must be joking." She had to be joking! The Jane she knew wouldn't make such a monumental decision by herself. "Don't you remember when you were packing for your trip and you told me how much you hated France. You hated the weather, the food, the language...everything. Remember?"
"Yes, I remember." Her laughter jarred Lizzy out of her initial shock. How long had it been since Jane really laughed? Lizzy knew it had easily been months -- even before they had left Xavier for summer break. "Like Audrey Hepburn said in Sabrina, I found myself in Paris. I'm serious, Lizzy! Once I gave it a chance, my perception totally changed. I simply fell in love with Paris' cobbled streets, its cramped art galleries, its quaint, little cafes. I have really found inspiration here and with Frankie's help and guidance my work is taking off in a totally new direction."
Lizzy privately wondered what direction this Frankie was trying to steer her friend and frowned. She hated to be the one to put a damper on her enthusiasm, but someone had to be the voice of reason. "What about school? You can't just give up on your education like this..."
"Lizzy, I'm getting more of an education and exposure working with Frankie than I would be getting in some university. You know a degree isn't necessary for a successful art career." There was a pause. "And, its not like I'm giving up an education completely. I do plan on going back sometime. I just don't know exactly when. Besides, to be honest, you know I only went because of you and Darcy in the first place. Why can't you just see what a wonderful opportunity this is for me and be happy for me? Even Anne said I would be crazy to pass it up..."
"Anne thought this was a good idea?" Lizzy believed pigs would fly before she could believe Anne would encourage her niece's to drop out of college to pursue her art.
"Yes, she does. Not only does she think it is a wonderful opportunity for me, but she also had a long talk with my mother. Whatever she said must have been pretty convincing because Lola grudgingly gave me her consent to stay. You should have heard her when I first told her though. I thought she was going to come to France and drag me back to Kentucky kicking and screaming." Jane's tone of voice confirmed that she had finally let go of her past hostility regarding her aunt. "Anne is even letting me stay here at Rosings until I return stateside."
"And, just when will that be?"
"Not anytime soon. I wish I could get away for a weekend visit or something, but the show is going to take a lot of work and I'm already exhausted. I'm not sure how I'm going to get through the next two months..."
"Two months?" Lizzy had hoped it would only be a matter of a few weeks.
"I know only two months! Can you believe it? And, Frankie told me yesterday he wants me to enter a few original pieces as well...." Jane sighed at her predicament. "Hey, before I forget, there is something I would like you to do for me while I'm away."
"Sure. What?"
"Keep an eye out on Darcy for me, will you? You know how distracted he seemed at the end of school...well it was ten times worse this summer. I don't know what is wrong with him and he practically fed me my head the one time I asked him about it. I'm worried about him. Would you mind letting me know how he is doing from time to time? And, try to keep him away from Karen. It makes my stomach curdle thinking about those two together."
"I agree. Plus, I prefer Cierra to her any day."
"Well, I guess Cierra is better than Caroline ever would have been for him."
Lizzy had hoped the summer would have cooled her best friend's jealousy of Darcy's ex-girlfriend. "What? No instructions to keep an eye on Richard?"
An answer was a while in coming. "Lizzy, I don't think that would be a good idea. I know he'll bounce back but you really hurt him. I think it would be best if you give him some time to nurse his wounds." Lizzy had thought she had worked past her own guilt over the way things had spiraled out of control between her and Richard but guilty resurfaced fresh like an opened sore. "Look, it's not your fault and I don't blame you or anything. It's like Marcus said. You can't choose who you fall in love with...can you just imagine how easy things would be if you could?"
Lizzy bit her lip but asked anyway. "Did you talk to him much this summer?"
"Some. Mostly I kept up with him through Darcy and I already told you about how crazy Darcy was acting this summer. In fact, Darcy left Rosings early to open his family's house down in the Bahamas."
"Why didn't you go with him to keep him company?"
"I had started working with Frankie by then, but I don't think Darcy was suffering from lack of company. Even if he hadn't invited both Richard and Charles to join him, the women down there practically throw themselves at an attractive man."
"Charles was in the Bahamas? Why didn't you go down for a weekend or something?"
"I got the distinct impression it was a guy's only vacation, if you get my meaning. And, the few times I phoned Darcy, he didn't sound too interested in talking to me. I had a hard time believing it myself but Richard said Darcy spent most of his time running on the beach, swimming, and ordering Jack Daniels by the bottle."
"It sounds like they were just blowing off steam to me."
"Yeah, I guess. You know what is funny, Lizzy? I always thought being at college with him would bring us closer, but all it has managed to do was make me realize how little I actually know about him. Darcy keeps all this stuff internalized and doesn't want help to deal with it. Sounds familiar, doesn't it?"
Lizzy ignored Jane's quip. "I'm sure he will tell you what's bothering him in good time."
"Probably. Hey, is that clock right?" Jane asked someone on her end of the phone. "Lizzy, I hate to let you go but I promised Frankie I'd meet him at his loft twenty minutes ago. Don't forget to keep me posted about Darcy and be good while I'm away."
As the path leveled off, Lizzy lengthened her stride. She had fully intended to honor Jane's request to keep an eye on Darcy and try to give Richard his distance. Was it her fault that both promises were an effort in futility?
Richard Fritz was the last person she had expected, but the first person she saw when she walked into Anatomy class. Remembering Jane's advise, she selected a seat across the room figuring he would not want to see her so soon in the semester. He surprised her by dropping into the seat directly behind her. As she fished out her glasses and settled them on her nose, she felt him tug on her pigtail. "When did you start wearing glasses?"
"This summer. I need them for reading..." Her hand went automatically to her frames. "They make me look hideous, right?"
"No, they don't." He winked at her. "You look like an adorable librarian."
"That was just the look I was going for too." When he laughed, she felt the awkwardness of talking to him after so long dissipate. "So, why are you taking Anatomy, Richard?"
"It's a required course for any degree in the physical education department. I guess we need to know what muscles do what to train our students correctly."
"Makes sense."
"I hear Dr. Moss is a real stickler and his teacher's assistant is some sort of science nerd. We should have an interesting time of it in here."
"I imagine." She idly turned the pages in her book trying to reacquaint herself with the passages she had read over the night before.
"So, how was your summer?"
"Busy. Yours?"
"Relaxing. I went home to New York for a few weeks to see my mom and visit some high school buddies. Then, I went to California to visit my dad on the base and tried to ignore the enlistment propaganda he was trying to force feed me. Just when I thought I was going to have to do something drastic like insist I was homosexual, Darcy begged me to go to the Bahamas with him."
"I heard you guys had a pretty wild time down there."
"Really? Who did you hear that from?"
"Jane mentioned it."
"We all pretty much needed a chance to cut loose. We all had some demons to exercise."
"Did you exercise them?"
"Yes, I believe I did." He turned a shade of red. He cleared his throat and ran his finger over his textbook. "Darcy told me about Jane's gig in France. I bet you miss her."
"That is an understatement." She felt herself relax back into their old friendship. "I know it is an opportunity of a lifetime and I should be happy for her but I can't help but selfishly wish she were here right now. I miss her like crazy."
"I think Darcy feels the same way you do. He was really worried about her staying behind on her own with that Churchill guy."
Since Anne gave her seal of approval on the whole affair, Lizzy believed Darcy would too. Her internal alarms rang loudly. "He doesn't like Francois?"
"Not at all." Richard shook his blonde curls. "He thinks the guy is shady."
Dr. Moss appeared and without so much as a cursory introduction to the class, he began writing on the chalkboard. She smiled tightly at Richard before she turned back to face the front of the class again.
It wasn't very long before Lizzy heard the soft snoring coming from directly behind her. When the bell rang signaling the end of the class, Richard roused from his nap. He snuck a glance over at her notebook as she closed it. "Hey, you didn't take many notes. Don't tell me you memorized everything he put on the board already?"
"Hardley. I just realized after the first couple of paragraphs he was writing straight from the text. Why copy down what I already have to read?"
Richard compared her highlighted passage in her book to the notes on the chalkboard and whistled loudly. "Isn't it wonderful to see the quality of education our parents are paying for..." He continued to flip through the book until he found where her highlighting stopped. "It's only the first day and he's already up to Chapter Three. Man, this class is going to be tougher than I thought. I guess I should try to stay awake, huh?"
"It would probably help." She agreed wondering silently how she was going to give him space when it was clear he was going to need help. She watched him as he looked at the notes on the chalkboard as if they were written in Greek. Lots and lots of help.
Lizzy rounded the bend and began the steep incline of Suicide Hill.
Still reeling from seeing Richard the hour before, Lizzy was surprised to find Darcy sitting in her Government class. She had smiled and waved at him, but before she could close the distance between them he glanced up, nodded dismissively and returned to the discussion he was having with none other than Karen Cuddles. Trying to pretend his brush off did not affect her and since the rest of the seats near him were taken by what could be best described as adoring females, she took a seat close to the door and entertained herself by looking over the questions Dr. Moss had assigned.
Unfortunately neither her concentration on Anatomy nor the distance between them could spare her from overhearing the conversation he was having with Karen.
"I think I'm going to need all sorts of extra attention in this class." Lizzy wondered how long she practiced her Marilyn Monroe impression. " Would you mind helping me out? I would be ever so grateful. And, I know what a strong, smart man you are..."
"It would be my pleasure." I'm sure it would. Lizzy felt nauseous.
So engrossed was she in not hearing the conversation between the cheerleader and her friend that when chair next to hers scraped against the floor she nearly jumped out of her own seat. Embarrassed, she glanced up at the towering man before her noting his intense green eyes and red hair made curly by its apparent dampness.
"Is this seat taken, Beautiful?" He looked so familiar she was sure they had been introduced but at the same time she was sure she would have remembered such a man. He was not someone a woman could easily have forgotten. "Do you mind if I sit here?"
"No. I mean..." She felt her cheeks flame. "Yes, you can sit there. I didn't mean to stare...you just looked familiar...and I was trying to place where I knew you from."
"If that is some type of a pickup line, I definitely am biting."
"No, I-I'm sorry. I'm usually good with names and faces."
"I'm teasing you. Actually I probably look familiar if you know my brother, Taggert." He grinned. "Roan Smouth at your service. I just transferred in over the summer."
Roan. She liked the way his name sounded. "So, how do you like Xavier, Roan?"
"It's getting better all the time." He leaned close and she was assaulted by an intoxicating blend of coffee and Cool Water. "So, what are you doing after class?"
"I have lunch..."
"You know it is only proper that before we decide where I'm going to take you for lunch that I know your name. Unless, of course, you prefer me calling you Beautiful all day?"
Before she could answer, Dr. Carter bustled into the room. His tie was crooked and loose and he glanced nervously at the clock. "Sorry, I'm late but..." The rest of his explanation was cut short as he dropped the book he carried scattering papers across the floor. "Darn it." He bent over the retrieve them and hit his head on the lectern as he stood back up. Roan laughed then winked at her when she turned to look at him. Rubbing his head, Dr. Carter shrugged sheepishly and then began looking through the stack of papers. After several minutes of searching in vain, he cleared his throat. "It appears I have misplaced my attendance guide. So to humor me, I'm going to ask each one of you introduce yourself and tell me why you selected my course. If you could please start, Miss...?"
"Elizabeth Bennet." She saw Roan smile out of the corner of her eye and blushed anew.
"I've heard a good deal about you from Coach LaSalle. So, Miss Bennet, what do you do besides run exceptionally fast?"
"I am interested in the theater and... basketball." Roan shifted in his seat causing her to foundering. "I'm a sophomore Pre-Med major. I am taking this course because I have a good friend who likes to debate about the political process and I needed some ammunition." She unconsciously let her eyes touch Darcy who appeared to be entranced by the notebook on his desk. Again, she felt an unfamiliar wave of disappointment course through her and wondered if she was imagining his aloofness.
Dr. Carter nodded approvingly. "Well, I for one hope you don't save your debating abilities for outside class. I have a feeling, you would be a very, challenging adversary."
Next, it was Roan's turn. He introduced himself and ran through his rather long list of hobbies, concluding with, "I'm taking this course to fulfill a requirement towards my degree. I like sleeping in late and not working too hard for a good grade."
"Well, Mr. Smouth," Dr. Carter responded when the class settled down, " I appreciate the honesty and I'll try to keep things as interesting as possible for you."
Lizzy felt her attention wonder as the each person went through the same motions until a familiar baritone reached her ears. "My name is Darcy Williams..."
"You wouldn't be related to George Williams by any chance?"
Lizzy saw Darcy stiffen before answering dryly. "Yes, he's my father."
"Really? George and I went to school together. We graduated from Xaiver in..." Dr. Carter stopped himself short causing the class to laugh. "Let's suffice to say that it was many moons ago. If you know, Mr. Williams, it might be worth some extra credit if you would keep that piece of knowledge to yourself. I still like to consider myself a young man. Would you please tell your father that Doozer Carter sends his regard?" Hearing the warmth in her professor's voice, Elizabeth wondered what it must feel like for everyone to know and respect your family lineage. She brushed the thought away.
Darcy's lips twitch in humor, his earlier wariness no longer present. "I'll make sure I mention it the next time I speak to him, sir."
"Please, continue, Mr. Williams. Why did you take this course?"
"I have a long standing interest in politics. I was just elected treasurer of the Young Republican Party on campus. So, I would have selected this course even if it hadn't been a prerequisite." Darcy briefly glanced at Roan. "I'm a sophomore, pre-med major. I also run track and cross-country for Xavier."
"So, you must be well acquainted with Miss Bennet, then?"
Lizzy met Darcy's eyes over the seas of desks. "We know each other a little."
She was glad Darcy had turned expectantly to Karen for she was unable to hide the hurt expression that crossed her face. Roan whispered for her ears only. "What a suck up that guy is! I bet he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. Can you believe that speech? I would have selected this course anyway...yada yada yada. I can't wait to hear what that crum cake next to him has to say..."
Lizzy glanced back over her shoulder in time for Karen to launch into her performance. All that was missing from a floor routine was the woman's pom poms. "That's Cuddles...like puddles with a C." Lizzy heard Roan laugh and bit her lip to keep from joining him. "I'm a junior PE Major who hopes to become a cheerleading coach. I cheer for Xaiver, of course. Go Muskies! I took your course in the Civil War last year, and I enjoyed myself so much that I had to have you again, Dr. Carter."
Lizzy considered it a minor triumph that she retained control of her gag reflex that day. She slowed her pace as she started on the downward slope just beyond Suicide Hill concentrating on the ground before her for exposed roots.
After the first couple of days, it was clear Darcy was treating her differently. It wasn't as if he was rude or impolite, but his attitude toward her reminded her a good deal of the first months they had known each other. It was as if they had never been close friends.
Thank God for Roan. He was a welcome and charming diversion from a long day of training, studying and working. He was so fun to be around. He would insist she play Frisbee golf in the rain or would surprise her with an impromptu picnic on the quad. He would read Shakespeare to her and poke fun at her when she became too serious. More often than not, he could be found playing hackey sack in front of the campus post office when she came up from cross-country practice. Lately, she had fallen into a pattern of eating with a group of Roan's friends, most of whom she had never really had any contact with before. They seemed nice but they were a little undisciplined in their pursuit of a college degree. A few she knew were on academic probation and a few others had gotten into some trouble for silly stunts on campus. Roan was a free spirit and it was in his nature for him to surround himself with people.
Besides, it wasn't like she never saw her friends. True, Roan did not really enjoy Charlotte and Billy's company very much complaining that they were stuffy and Kylie annoyed him with her "frivolous chatter,' but he never let on how he felt when they were present. Out of all her friends, he preferred to spend time with Caroline and Jack. In Jack, he had formed a fast friendship and in Caroline, he had found someone whom he deemed refreshingly daring. Thinking about Caroline and Jack only served to bring her back round to the subject of Darcy.
She attacked the next rise as she poured her anger out through her legs. It took nearly three weeks before he sought her out. She was just about to close up the math lab when she looked up to find Darcy standing in the doorway. She had no idea how long he had been there, but she was strangely relieved he was.
She tried to pretend there was nothing unusual about his presence at the lab. After all, he used to come to the lab almost every night she worked after he struggled with Cal II. Even the nights he didn't need help with Dr. Wingate's class, he would show up when she closed up the lab and they would walk home together. Being Richard's girlfriend had had its advantages, she reflected. She straightened in her seat. "Hey, you."
"Hey." His voice sounded tired. In fact, he looked tired. Almost as if he sensed the direction of her thoughts, he glanced about the empty room. "Not very busy tonight."
"You just missed my last student and I was just finishing my grading." She tapped her red pen against the grade book. "So, you find me all alone this evening, Darcy."
"I don't want to disturb you..." He looked back into the hallway.
"You're not. Is there something I can help you with? Are you having problems with CAL III?"
"No." It was a long moment before he took a hesitant step into the room but, once decided, he took long strides until he stood facing her. "I - " His jaw clenched so tightly it appeared painful to Lizzy. "Jane asked me to check up on you."
"I see." He hadn't come to renew their friendship or to take her into confidence. He had only had dropped by because he was obligated to his cousin. It didn't matter that Jane had exacted the same promise from her. Being ignored by someone she considered her friend had taken a toll on Lizzy. "Well, you can tell Jane I'm doing just fine."
"I can see that you are." The sarcasm in his voice was like a blow to her solar plexus. He rubbed his brow then nodded. "Look, I didn't come here to argue with you. I'll let her know you're doing okay..."
"You do that."
"Well..." His eyes touched hers. "That's all I had to say. Goodnight, Elizabeth."
She schooled her features and returned to her seat. "Goodnight." She did not look up again until she heard the metal clang of the main doors being slammed. She knew Darcy was gone. She felt hot tears flow down her cheeks. There was no one to tell about the way her chest felt like it was collapsing on itself. There was no one to tell about how alone she felt. Who would care that her father was back in the hospital? Who would care she was exhausted?
"Hey, beautiful." Roan was kneeling before her, cupping her face between his hands.
She tried to brush away her tears. "What are you doing here?"
"I thought I'd surprise you."
"I thought I was alone."
"Well, you're not." Roan pulled her to him. "Why the water works, honey?"
"I guess I'm just a little stressed out."
"I got some pretty good suggestions to get rid of stress." She had no warning he was going to kiss her until his lips were expertly moving over hers. Shocked, she tried to pull back, but his arm held her still. He deepened the kiss until she couldn't breath and she finally twisted out of his embrace.
"Roan...what do you think..." She stopped seeing they had gained an audience.
"The lab is closed for the evening even for you, Mr. Money Pants."
Darcy did not even respond to Roan as his eyes focused on her. "Are you all right?"
She wasn't all right, but at the same time, she would be damned before she told Darcy how she felt. She had thought they were friends. She had thought he cared for her. She had been wrong. She snuggled closer to Roan. "I've told you once tonight, I'm fine."
"I thought I'd walk you home, Elizabeth."
"Look, man, I've already got that covered. I'm taking Lizzy home on my motorcycle."
Darcy tilted his head. "If you haven't noticed, Roan, it's raining outside. And, I'm sure you know it isn't safe to be on a motorcycle when it is raining." She glanced out the window wondering how she had managed to miss the storm brewing around her.
"I don't need your permission to take her for a ride."
"Elizabeth, I don't think it would be a good idea." Something snapped in her at his superior tone. He thought he could ignore her when he chose then come back into her life when he chose because he was Darcy Williams.
"I'm ready for that ride you promised." The look of disbelief that crossed Darcy's face as she left was more than worth time Lizzy spent being terrified as both she and Roan rode helmet-less through the streets to her dorm.
Lizzy pumped her arms as she jogged into the clearing that signified the last mile of the cross-country course and she tried to ignore the stiffness that took hold of her upper shoulders. It was just stress she told herself pumping her arms harder for their "betrayal."
And why shouldn't she be stressed? Her course load had gotten harder. She was working twenty hours a week at the lab and Dr. Wingate asked her to assist with his pre-calculus course as well. Even Coach LaSalle had taken the enjoyment out of her cross-country practice. He insisted she train with the new freshmen women. Normally such a request would not have bothered her but considering the two new recruits it did.
Mariah LaSalle was a pretty, sweet, empty-headed sort of girl who followed Michael around like he was the returned Messiah. Michael wasn't sure if he was interested in someone so obviously young and the result of his indecision was Mariah's insistent "Does he like me/Doesn't he like me/What do you think?" Lizzy believed she tolerated it rather well, but some days it was enough to give her a splitting headache.
Mary Austin was everything Mariah wasn't. What Mary lacked in physical beauty, she definitely made up with physical ability. Lizzy had never seen a woman who possessed such power, but the freshmen's problem was she did not know how to harness her power properly. She would push herself far too hard at the beginning of practice and have nothing left for the last two or three miles. Worse, where Mariah was gaga over Michael, Mary had developed a hero worship of sorts for Lizzy.
So the entire practice was a collage of "What do you think Michael thinks, Lizzy?" "What should we do next, Lizzy?" "Do you think Michael likes my shorts, Lizzy?" "Do you think I'll qualify for Nationals this year like you did, Lizzy?" It really was enough to make her scream by the time she headed to the showers. At least in her own stall, she could get some peace and quiet.
Lizzy began the slight incline leading back to her dorm not really satisfied that her mind was not any clearer than when she had started her run.
Darcy's eyes flew open as he felt something move beside him. It took his sleep rattled mind a moment to register the auburn hair spilling on the pillow next to him as he breathed in the soft blend of strawberries and Obsession. His eyes traced the skin of the creamy shoulder to the perfect curve of spine until the covers prevented further visual examination. His arm was wrapped around her waist protectively and he could feel the soft rise of her stomach against his side as she exhaled rhythmically. The memories of the night before slowly flooded through him.
Darcy knew right away he didn't want to wake Elizabeth. The tangled mess of her auburn hair splayed across his arm and the warmth of her cheek as it rested against his chest felt deliciously right. His leg was trapped under the delicious weight of hers and the sensation of their bodies touching so intimately stirred the coals in his loins. In her sleep, she shifted drawing her hand from its resting spot on his shoulder to unconsciously trace his rib cage. He drew a startled breath and her eyes blinked open. She looked confused at first before her lips blossomed into a welcoming smile. Her voice was draped in sleep. "Hey, you."
"Hey." He swallowed not believing her beauty could be so complete.
She propped herself up on her left elbow and tried to bring her unruly tresses to some type of order with her free hand. Her combination of movement allowed the sheet covering her to drop exposing her soft curves to his sight. "Elizabeth..."
She placed her finger on his lips. "We don't have to talk right now, do we?"
He shook his head as her lips beckoned him to renew their acquaintance.
The alarm sliced into Darcy's consciousness and the vision of Elizabeth evaporated. An ache of longing stirred in his chest as he tried to recapture the feeling of her body against his. Again the alarm squawked and he smacked at it with one motion of pent up anger.
This had to stop! He didn't know how many more times he could take dreaming of her and waking up alone. He was only a man. He had limits. Darcy got up quickly swearing softly beneath his breath. It was unfair that he had complete control of his waking thoughts but completely powerless when it came to his dreams. His subconscious was a powerful enemy and was slowly destroying his self-confidence when it came to her.
Frustrated, he grabbed a towel from the back of his door and shuffled to the shower. What could having these feelings for her accomplish? He yanked the shower curtain back with a vicious tug. I should just go ahead and ask her out. He turned on the water not flinching when the cold blasts of water punished his body freeing it finally of the hold of the dream. What harm was there in one date? He dipped his head under the water as it began to warm. Even Richard said he would rather Elizabeth find someone else besides Roan. He lathered his hair. Richard had even started dating again. He rinsed and began covering his body in thick soap and turned his thoughts away from his cousin. He wondered where he should take her. He could take her to a fancy restaurant in town. He ducked back under the spray and turned to get his backside. Then, what? Maybe a walk along the river? A carriage ride? He turned off the water and shook his head to clear it. Maybe they would even go someplace private so he could put an end to his fantasies. It would only take one date to get her out of my system!
After his quick shower, Darcy wrapped his towel around his waist and headed back to his room where he immediately started getting dressed.
"Man, do you sign up for these early classes on purpose just to drive me crazy?" Richard asked rolling up on his side.
"Sure do. I go out of my way to sign up for the early classes just to torment you." Darcy winked as he flipped on the lights. "Did my alarm wake you?"
"Nope. The latest member of your fan club just rang."
"Fan club?"
"I think she said her name was Maggie. You went out with a Maggie last night, right?"
Maggie Connor was into long-winded soliloquies and did not have an intelligent thought anywhere in her pretty little head. The only reason he had asked her out was that her eyes were an interesting shade of green which reminded him of ... His mind clamped down on the thought before it was processed. Richard laughed loudly at his lengthy silence. "Darcy, I am surprised at you. I know there have been so many women lately but the least you could do is remember who you went out with..."
"I didn't forget who I was out with last night." He pulled his jeans up. "What did she want?"
"Oh...your cousin is such a gentleman. I had so much fun with him last night...he is so sexy..." Darcy ignored the falsetto voice and began pulling on his sweater. "He is the one I want. The one I can't do without out....I think I'm in love..."
"I'm sure you are getting to the point sometime."
Richard continued in a falsetto voice. "'I had a wonderful time with him and I was wondering if he changed his mind about the Bengal's game this weekend."
"I told her last night I wasn't interested."
"Maybe you should reconsider? I would. A woman who likes football is a rare thing to find. But you are going to stick to your 'one date rule,' aren't you?"
Darcy zipped his backpack shut. "My one date rule?"
"Yep." Richard grinned. "At least that is what Lizzy and Jane call it. You only give a girl one night, one chance and then you serve her the walking papers."
"Really?"
"Really! Lizzy was telling me yesterday Jane was really worried about you. She hoped you were being .... what was the word Lizzy used... oh yes, CAREFUL."
"Elizabeth would do better to be exercise a little care in her own life without looking to others." Darcy snapped feeling the familiar tension in his jaw line.
"Geez, what is wrong with you?"
"Nothing is wrong with me." Richard did not seem convinced by his denial. "Why are you even hanging out with Elizabeth anyway?"
"She is helping me study Anatomy..."
"I'll bet she is." The thought of Richard reconciling with Elizabeth was ten times worse than a life without her in it. Jealousy raged in him. "Didn't you learn your lesson when she broke your heart last year?" Darcy saw the hurt cross his cousin's face and he grabbed his bag with a snap. "I'm going to grab some breakfast. I'll see you around."
Half way to the cafeteria, it began to rain and Darcy was too stubborn to turn around to collect his umbrella from his room least he would have to face Richard again. How had he ever talked himself into thinking it would be all right to ask Elizabeth out? Hadn't he seen the emptiness in Richard's eyes at his comment? To further exacerbate his already charming mood, he discovered due to some freak electrical problem, the cafeteria was only serving cold cereal. He decided to try his luck for a warm breakfast at the coffee shop not far from the Student Union. Unfortunately, he was not the only student with that same idea. After a twenty-five minute wait, he finally emerged from the packed shop with a Danish and a hot cup of coffee.
He took a step before his eyes locked onto her. She was jogging on the opposite side of the street going in the opposite direction and she was protected in a rain parka but he knew it was Elizabeth. He didn't need to see the sway of the auburn ponytail. He didn't need to see her pointed face grim with determination. He knew by the stride. He knew by the way she moved her legs...like she was pedaling effortlessly along... he traced her progress with his eyes and turned almost with regret in the direction of his first class.
Something collided into him hard causing his arm to jerk, the lid on his coffee popped off and the hot liquid jumped from the container spilling across his hand. "Hey, why don't you watch where you are going?"
"I do try, Darcy. I guess it is a good thing I'm wearing this, huh?" Caroline glanced pointedly down as the coffee ran off her rain jacket into a puddle in the center of the sidewalk. She laughed seeing the sour look on his face. "I'll tell you what. Let me buy you a cup of coffee and you can keep me company while I wait for my friend."
He glanced one more time at the retreating form across the street and nodded toward the shop he had just exited. "After you."
It took nearly another half an hour before they could make their selections and located an empty table at the back of the shop. When they were settled, he leaned back watching her sip her coffee cautiously aware she was still the most physically perfect woman he had ever known. "How have you been?"
"Busy. Jack and I have the new production in a few weeks and I am a nervous wreck. I don't know what possessed me to try the directing thing plus act."
"I'm sure your Romeo & Juliet will be breathtaking."
"Are you coming to see it?"
"Bought front row tickets the day they went on sale." He grinned as she blushed. "So, how is school treating you?"
"For once, I am actually doing really well. Who knows you might see my name up there with yours and Lizzy's on the Dean's List this semester. More to the point, Darcy, how are you doing? If you don't mind my saying so, you look like hell."
"Thanks." He glanced absently about the crowded diner. "I just haven't been sleeping well. I guess it is the stress from the classes and my new extracurricular activities..."
"Extracurricular activities? So, that's what you're calling your dating these days?"
"Why is my dating being discussed by everyone?" Her eyebrows rose at his reaction and he lowered his voice. "First, Richard tells me Elizabeth thinks I'm working on a 'one date rule'..." He stopped himself seeing her amused reaction. "It's really is no one's business who I date or how often I date them, is it?" She shook her head but the amusement still shone in her blue eyes. "Maybe, I just haven't found who I'm looking for..."
"Or, maybe you have." Caroline countered. He couldn't contradict her. He was so tired of pretending he didn't feel what he felt. "What are you waiting for, Darcy?"
"I can't. There is so much between us..."
"Do you honestly expect her to run to you with open arms?" She put her hand on his. "She won't. You've pushed her away pretty hard this semester. It's going to be up to you to mend the rift between you two."
"You don't know how I feel."
"No, I don't. For that matter, neither does Elizabeth." Darcy met Caroline's steady gaze when she spoke her name. He expected to see pain, but instead he found concern. "At least you aren't denying it anymore so you are at least making progress. How is torturing yourself like this helping anyone? It doesn't make any sense, Darcy. I know it doesn't have anything to do with Richard..." He started in his seat but she waved him off. "It doesn't, Darcy. Yes, he is probably going to be hurt, but he cares about the both of you. He wants both of you happy and once he sees you together he is going to see it. Life is messy, Darcy. Not everything is perfect - clean. You have to stop making excuses, making obstacles for yourself. You could be so happy if you just let yourself be."
Darcy stood up. "I have to go. I've got to get to class..."
"Wait a minute." She took a deep breath. "I'm not sure if this is going to make a difference... I can't believe I am telling you this and betraying her confidence like this..."
"What is it, Caroline?"
"Elizabeth told me she is crazy about you.'
As she watched Darcy leave the coffee shop, she smiled when he turned right toward Lizzy's dorm instead of left toward the education complex. Caroline truly hated lying to him, but she hoped that later they would both thank her for interfering.
Elizabeth flipped on her radio after her shower and she bounced effortlessly with the rhythm coming from the speakers. She felt content for the first time the semester. It may have taken over two months to get her legs under her, but things were finally going her way. She missed Jane, but she was getting use to being on campus by herself. Even things with Richard had worked out better than she had ever hoped and they were working on repairing their friendship almost every day. And, then there was Roan.
She spun in a little circle in the middle of her room smiling to herself. For the first time in her life, she had found someone who didn't have preconceived notions about her. He didn't care she came from the hick side of a small town in Kentucky. He didn't care if she never went back to Nationals as a runner. He didn't care if she was the number one or dead last in their class. He just wanted to have fun and he just wanted her the way she was. And, the realization was liberating. There was no pressure with Roan. She opened her closet and selected her favorite overalls and a sweatshirt. No, Roan was all about ease and friendliness.
Not at all like Darcy.
The thought seemed to pierce the bubble that surrounded her. Why was the mere thought of him enough to sap all the happiness out of her? Well, she wasn't going to let him affect her mood today. Not today! Today was going to be a good day.
Her determination to have a good day stopped with the sight of Darcy Williams. It was apparent from the state of his sweater and jeans, that he had walked a distance in the rain without either a jacket or an umbrella. His black curls were flat against his forehead and going by the look on his face he was disgusted. From her spot across the lobby, she heard him swear loudly before slamming the lobby phone back into its cradle.
"That will teach that phone to do that to you." She saw him stiffen and immediately regretted her decision to speak to him. I should have just walked on by him. Hadn't he made it clear enough the first months of school, he didn't want anything to do with me?
"Elizabeth, I thought I'd missed you."
"Missed me?" She could barely keep the surprise out of her voice. Then, her mind raced to a natural conclusion. Something was wrong with Jane! Why else would he come looking for me? "Is there something wrong with Jane? Tell me. What is it?"
"No, this isn't about Jane. As far as I know she is fine." He shouldered his backpack. "I need to talk to you about a different matter entirely."
"Talk to me?" She vaguely remembered the subject of most of their 'talks' from the prior year and she felt the beginnings of a headache. "Don't tell me, let me guess. You don't want me talking to Richard anymore..."
"I didn't come here to talk about Richard."
"Oh, so what have I done to offend you this time?"
Instead of answering her question, he nodded to a passing group of women before continuing in a controlled tone. "Could we please talk somewhere in private?"
She mentally weighed her options. She could easily say no to him. After giving her the cold shoulder for months, he hardly deserved better than a cold shoulder himself. His assumption he could just stop by her dorm unannounced and she would drop everything because he wished to talk to her was just plain arrogant. Arrogant and imperious. A scathing refusal was forming on her tongue, but he seemed to read the direction of her thoughts. "Please, Elizabeth. Just give me five minutes."
She sighed heavily before indicating he could follow her back up the stairs she had just descended. "You have five minutes."
When she entered her room, she closed the door and turned to face him expectantly. He walked straight over to her windows and stared at the rain-streaked glass. She was just about to lose her patience with him when he finally spoke. "I thought this would be so easy once I was here but ...why does this always have to be so hard?"
Darcy the enigma was back in force. She fought the urge to roll her eyes. "What has to be so hard?"
"Feelings." He met her eyes for a moment. "Why is it so hard for me to express them?"
Because you don't have any? She offered aloud, "I don't know."
She watched as he seemed to be memorizing the items on her bookshelf and she felt an odd sensation course through her when he picked up a picture of them snapped at Nationals the prior spring. "That was a good day, wasn't it?"
His voice had a silk quality she had never heard him use before. "I suppose."
His brow furrowed as he replaced the photo. "I know this isn't the most mature way to deal with things, but I want you to know I talked to Caroline this morning."
"Okay." She felt he was waiting for her to respond. "You talked to Caroline. Don't you normally talk to her?"
"Not going to make this easy for me, are you?" He grinned leaning on the counter.
"Easy? I don't understand what you are talking about..."
He cleared his throat. "We talked about you."
"About me?" She felt like a parrot, but drat the man was confusing her to no end. "What about me?"
He straightened and if Elizabeth didn't know any better she would have sworn a look of fear crossed his face. "You really don't know what I'm talking about do you?"
"No, I don't. So, why don't you tell me why you were talking about me with Caroline."
"No, I c-a...I thought--" He looked flustered then shut his eyes. "I came here thinking this would be the answer. I thought you would have all the answers."
"You thought I would have all the answers?" Anger seared through her. "Darcy, I don't even know what the questions are? Why would I? You don't talk to me for months. And now you turn up wanting to talk but doing nothing but spinning riddles like a Sphinx..." She closed the distance between them and poked him hard on the chest. "You talk about feelings but I'm not entirely sure you have them..."
"Elizabeth..." He cupped her forearms with his hands to stop the assault.
"How about we talk about how you hurt my feelings by turning your back on me when I thought you were my friend? How about we talk about that? Did you need to pretend to be my friend all of those months because you didn't want Richard and Jane to know how you really felt about me? Is that it?" She had promised herself she would never give him the satisfaction of knowing how his aloofness had hurt her, but now that she had started spilling her pent up emotions she found it impossible to stop. "Was it some sort of game to you? To completely fool me into thinking my friendship was important to you. To make me think, I was important to you..." She gasped aware hot tears were coursing down her cheek.
"You are important to me!" He moved with lightening speed to embrace her. "You are important to me..." He whispered again, his breath finding the sensitive spot behind her ear. "Please, Elizabeth, don't cry." She felt his hand smooth the back of her hair as he continued. "I'm sorry I can't put how I feel into words..." He tilted her head up so she was forced to look him straight in the eye. "If I felt less for you, I probably could easily find the words."
She felt like she was drowning and she could not catch her breath. "Please, don't..."
His hands were on either side of her head his thumbs moving in small circles along her cheeks. One brushed softly over her lower lip. "Let me try to show you. I want so much to show you how I feel, Beth..." She shivered. Beth. He had always called her Elizabeth. Never Lizzy. Never Liz. Always Elizabeth. There was something so intimate with the way he whispered...
" Beth. "
The kiss was brief but electricity flared in her at his touch. She had expected him to be rough, to be demanding, but the gentleness of his mouth surprised her. He buried his long fingers in the nape of her hair and led her gently from one kiss into a myriad of others. When he was done with the exploration of her mouth, his mouth worked back toward her delicate ear. "Do you understand what you mean to me now?"
An immense weight settled on her lungs and she pushed away from him stumbling backwards. "Please...leave."
"Leave?"
"You heard me." She wrapped her arms about herself trying to stop the shaking of her limbs. "I want you to leave. What is it, Darcy? Have you exhausted all the eligible women on campus? You've decided to go slumming, is that it? Did you feel like you needed a bigger challenge than the women who were fawning all over you all the time?"
"I'm not sure how to respond to that." His eyes sparkled. "You have got to be one of the most stubborn, pig headed women I've ever met in my life."
Her mouth dropped open. "Why thank you, Darcy... I would be such a fool to not accept such compliments."
"You are too smart for me to lie to you. You would see through false flattery in a second. Maybe you are right about me needing a bigger challenge ..."
"Yes, it must get awful boring having all the beauties on campus throw themselves at your feet. I can see why you would decide to put the moves on probably the only woman on campus who isn't interested in you in the slightest..."
"Don't give me that, Elizabeth. Don't stand there and try to deny what just happened between us...I initiated the kiss but you responded to me."
"My God, you are an arrogant jerk! I did no such thing."
"You know I could kiss you again and knock that denial right off your lips..."
"You'll touch me again when hell freezes over!" She stormed to her door. "Get out and find someone else to seduce."
"You think I was seducing you?" He followed her to the door. "All I did was kiss you. Believe me, I'll save the seduction part until you are ready..."
"I said get out."
"I'm leaving. I'll give you the time and space you need because I'm a patient man." He weighed her with his eyes. "Look, I don't blame you for being scared because it scares me too."
"I'm not scared of anything. And, I'm most certainly not scared of you!"
"In that case," He stopped in the doorway. "I'll pick you up tomorrow night at 8 sharp. Oh, and wear something warm...I imagine it gets pretty cold when hell freezes over." He barely got out of the way in time before she slammed the door shut in his face.
Sighing loudly, Elizabeth punched her pillow and rolled over on her stomach.
"Sigh one more time, Lizzy, and I'm going to smoother you to death with my pillow." Charlotte's voice sounded tired but humorous.
"I can't sleep."
"You wanna talk about it?"
Not really. She wasn't sure if she even wanted to discuss what she was feeling. She would normally go to Jane or Caroline for advice but she had a feeling both of them would possess biased points of view when it came to Darcy.
"You'll feel better if you talk about it." Charlotte sat up and turned on her desk light. "I won't tell anyone I promise. You can trust me, Lizzy."
"I know I can. I'm just not sure what exactly is bothering me so much." The memory of his kiss flooded through Lizzy. She buried her face in her hands and immediately remembered the feel of his palms against her cheeks. Frustrated, she groaned and stood up. "I'm going to make some tea. Do you want some?"
"Sure." They fixed the tea and grabbed a bag of cookies from their hiding spot in the pantry before resettling at the small counter in their room.
Lizzy felt like she was going to explode as Charlotte chattered on about her upcoming wedding plans. She finally couldn't take it anymore and unceremoniously blurted out. "Darcy asked me out."
Tea splattered the table as Charlotte chocked. Once she recovered, she smiled. "Damn, Lizzy, give a girl a little warning. When did this happen..."
"Earlier today..."
"So, where are you guys going?"
"I'm not going out with him ..."
"Don't tell me you told him no because of Roan! Darcy is ten times the man he will ever be..."
"That isn't exactly fair, you know."
"Yes, it is. Roan is nothing but trouble for you, Lizzy. He is a borderline alcoholic..."
"He likes to unwind, what is wrong with that?"
"Everyday? He unwinds with a case of beer everyday? Come on, he drinks like a fish. His friends are complete losers and he spends as much time with you as he does Sally Smart."
"So what, if he sees Sally? We never said we were going to just date one another."
"So, he wouldn't object if you went on one date with Darcy then."
"I'm not worried about what Roan would think. You are missing the point, Char?" When her friend batted her eyes, Elizabeth sighed. "I don't want to go out with him."
"Why in the heck not? Lizzy, he is..."
"Loaded ?"
"You do have eyes, right ? Even if he was flat broke, he is tall, dark and gorgeous."
"You forgot arrogant, cold and conceited. He thinks he can have anything he wants because he is Darcy Williams. He thinks every woman on this campus is waiting on baited breath for him to ask him out."
"I know if he asked me out I would jump at the chance."
"What about Bill?"
"Please, Lizzy. I am very fond of my fiancé but it is not some grand passion between us. We are both practical people. I don't go in for that love and romance thing. It barely ever works out and I'd rather be comfortable. I know Bill would always be able to provide for me. Lizzy, don't look at me that way. I can't afford to be picky like you are. I don't have one of the hottest guys on campus longing after me..."
"I would hardly say Darcy was longing after me."
There was a lull in the conversation as Charlotte tipped her chair back. "You know there was talk about the two of you last year, Lizzy?"
"Talk about me and Darcy?"
"Yeah." Charlotte bit her lip. "Most of us on the team thought he was head over heals over you. We were sure that you would hook up before the end of Cross Country season."
"Hook up?" Lizzy laughed. "Don't you remember the Christmas dance and what I told you about my memorable visit to Pemberley? He couldn't even stand the sight of me."
"For someone he can't stand to look at, he spends a good deal of time staring at you."
"You are out of your mind!"
"Am I?" Char asked sipping her tea. "Haven't you wondered why none of the guys on the track team have ever made a pass at you? They are all terrified of what he'll do to them if they ask. He has that dark, dangerous look going for him."
"You don't know what you are talking about."
"Really? Even Michael mentioned it when he came over our house for dinner Sunday. We were all wondering how long it would be before he asked you out."
"I can't believe you were talking like this in front of your dad!"
Charlotte shrugged. "So, why don't you just go out with him this one time? You'll get a night being wined and dined. Who knows you might enjoy his company..."
"I don't need one night with him to know I don't enjoy his company."
"You seemed to enjoy his company last spring..." Seeing Lizzy's black look, Charlotte held up her hand. "Okay. I won't mention it again." She settled back in her chair. "So, how did Darcy take it when you told him you wouldn't go out with him?"
"Well, I never told him no in so many words" Lizzy saw Charlotte smile. "What? Charlotte, I slammed my door in his face. I would think most men would pick up on such a subtle hint."
"Most men may have, but I don't think Darcy would." She rose from her chair gathering up their tea things. "I'm sure you have something in that closet of yours that is sexy enough to hold his attention for at least one night."
"For the last time, I'm not going out with Darcy Williams." Lizzy insisted to an empty room.
Lizzy woke up the next morning with a mounting feeling of dread. She tried to clear her head with a light morning jog, but the familiar brown eyes seem to grow in her thoughts where she had hoped they would disperse. When she got back to her room, Charlotte was already gone so she finished her morning routine in solitude. The solitude was broken however when her roommate bounded into the room carrying a huge vase filled with at least three-dozen long stemmed red roses and grinning like a Cheshire cat.
"Those are beautiful." Lizzy breathed in the scent from the petals. "Is it your anniversary or something, Char?"
"These aren't for me, Lizzy. These are for you."
"For me?" She backed away from the flowers as if they had suddenly turned into snakes.
"You should see all the girls downstairs. They are pea green with envy..." Char deposited the vase on Lizzy's end table and waited. When she made no move for the card, Char did the honors. "Even if you don't want to know who they are from, I do."
She knew without one glance at the card who sent them. In bold cursive handwriting, the name Beth was written. "Just throw them out. I don't want them."
"Beth, he calls you Beth, huh?, 'I wanted to remind you to wear something warm tonight. I'll be by at 8 tonight to collect you. Darcy.' Lizzy, he sent you three dozen roses, you have to go out with him."
"Roses or not," Lizzy crossed her arms over her chest. "I'm still not going out with him."
A knock came at the door and a mousy haired junior poked her head into the room. "Lizzy..."
"What is it?" She snapped already in a foul mood. How dare he send her flowers? She was going to bombarded by everyone who had seen them in the lobby.
"These just came for you." The girl brought in another gigantic arrangement of dozens of yellow roses. The card contained the same handwriting much to Lizzy's dismay. "Man, Lizzy, whose eye have you caught this time..."
"Just put them down on the counter over there."
"Let me have the card," Charlotte rushed the small girl before shooing her out of the room. "Dear Beth, I apologize for my earlier mistake. I had forgotten until after I had the red ones delivered that yellow roses were your favorite." Charlotte fell backwards on her bed clutching the card to her heart before continuing in an excited tone. "It occurred to me you might want to call off our date because you are frightened..."
"Give me that." Elizabeth grabbed the card and continued reading. "...'because you are frightened by your feelings for me. If that is the case, you can cancel. Even though I'll be disappointed, I'll understand. Darcy.'" Lizzy knew a challenge when it was issued and she was not a coward. "Oh, two can play this game! He doesn't know what he is getting himself into! Tonight, I'm going to prove to Darcy Williams that he does nothing to me."
"So, I take it you've reconsidered going out with him?"
"Oh, yes. I'm going to deflate that life-sized ego of his if it is the last thing I do!" Then, for the second time in two days, Lizzy slammed her bedroom door.