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"Lizzie!" The Head Sister came up into the ward where Elizabeth was attempting to get some sleep.
"What is it?" Elizabeth sat up with a yawn and hurriedly covered her mouth.
"You don't sleep well during the day do you? Dr Alastair wanted to speak to you a moment ago so I expect he still wants to speak to you. That man you did yesterday is crashing out."
"Oh no!" Elizabeth moaned as she got out of her bed, a moan that was then lost in a large yawn which she hastily smothered.
"By the way Lizzie." The Head Sister stopped for a minute at the door. "Your leave is coming through for a fortnight in March, you'd better make some plans and get some sleep."
"Sounds like a lovely idea, I am no longer tired." Elizabeth scrambled around to get her apron and cap on before hustling down the stairs and across the yard.
"There you are Lizzie." Alastair looked up from the operating table as she came into the theatre.
"The Head Sister said you wished to speak to me."
"Quite correct. Sorry to get you up and all that." Alastair hastily smothered a yawn. "But the stitching is failing here and unless we do something fast we'll lose him."
"Infection?"
"Gangrene." The response was flat toned and Elizabeth closed her eyes for a sickened moment. Gas Gangrene was the worst nightmare anyone could have, it spread through the victims like wildfire, rotting away the flesh, it invariably lead to multiple operations and amputations before the patient finally crashed and died, stitches unable to hold in the rotting flesh.
"What's the hope?"
"Zero. All we can do is trim him back again and chuck in a handful of sulphonamides before we stitch him up again."
"Yes Doctor." Elizabeth hastily donned the white covering gown and set the boiler going on a new plate of equipment. Alastair turned back to the operation he had currently been doing and in five minutes the patient was wheeled out.
"Three hours for that one I feel." Alastair sank wearily onto a nearby plank and rubbed his face with a tired hand. "He'd lost too much blood that one. I really don't know why he was sent in."
"Doctor you're supposed to be off shift now." Elizabeth frowned down at him.
"I know, but Harris came down with pneumonia an hour ago."
"Oh no." Elizabeth winced. "Are you hopeful for him?"
"No. Both lungs rapidly filling, he's been battling the disease for nearly a fortnight. He collapsed in surgery and had to be carried out. Watson should relieve me in an hour so I can get a few hours sleep before the next wave of ambulances." Alastair rose to his feet as the patient they had operated on a week earlier was wheeled into the room. "I just hope he didn't give it to too many patients." Elizabeth winced at the sight of the blackened and swollen flesh, already the stitches were beginning to tear out.
Half a minute later and anyone who had walked into the room would not have believed that both doctor and nurse were on the verge of collapse from sleep loss, movements were crisp and careful, words were kept to a minimum. Elizabeth had been appointed as Alastair's primary nurse within a month of her arrival, one because his former nurse had been relocated to France, and secondarily because Elizabeth seemed to be one of the few nurses who could keep such long hours without falling sick frequently. The position as Alastair's primary nurse was indeed a prestigious one, but no one would ever envy you as you could never guarantee when you were going to get a full six hours sleep out of twenty-four. To get anything near that you usually had to snatch a few minutes when ever the opportunity arose, a five minute doze between operations, a ten minute doze during the tea break, and vast quantities of tea and coffee were called for.
"Well there's nothing more we can do now. Get back to bed Lizzie, I have a feeling in my bones that tomorrow will be a hideous day." Alastair yawned widely as the patient was wheeled out.
"Doctor, I would prefer you didn't listen to your bones, they invariably seem to be right and I do not want a hideous day tomorrow."
"Sleep well Lizzie." Alastair followed Elizabeth out of the cramped room which served as an operating theatre with a slight chuckle and went to his office, he now only had fifteen minutes before he would be free to fall asleep.
"You look tired General." The tall figure was leaning against the doorframe.
"I feel tired, Darcy." Alastair pushed his door open and let the man into his office. "When did you return?"
"Yesterday or the day before, do be kind and say I can permanently dispose of this brace."
"I don't know, give me a look at the leg." Alastair settled down in his chair while Darcy rolled his trouser leg up above the knee, revealing the metal bars and leather straps. "How's Nash?"
"Haven't seen him since December, but he seemed well enough then."
"Well tell him to come see me next time you see him."
"Will do. What's the verdict? Am I tied to that thing for life?"
"You should know the answer to that yourself since you haven't been wearing it as much as you should."
"Why do you say that?"
"Your calluses where the bars end and where the buckles lie aren't nearly thick enough, also the muscles and tendons are slightly strained."
"Well the muscle problem is actually because I had to make more then a brief run last week, it was somewhat exciting and even more painful."
"Well I think you can safely discard that brace. One month and you can return to the front and get yourself assassinated."
"You said three months back at the end of December."
"That was before you went running and jumping. Go home and say hello to your sister, go find a pretty woman and marry her."
"Any suggestions?" Darcy rolled his trouser leg back down again having removed the brace.
"Well my primary nurse would suit you nicely, but I won't have her stolen so you'll have to go looking for yourself."
"Can't you lower my extended sentence to a fortnight?"
"Darcy you really are a most tiresome patient." Alastair rubbed his head then yawned again. "First you make a run for it nearly six weeks before you're even meant to leave your bed, then you proceed to leave the country entirely before you're leg has started strengthening, and now you are trying to get your sentence reduced?"
"Sentence is the right word, my cousin and I are going to my aunt's place to convalesce just as soon as I've made a quick run to Derbyshire. Besides, consider it, it will get me out of your hair that much sooner."
"A persuasive argument Darcy, but that doesn't stop you from being tiresome." Alastair yawned again, then jumped as a knock sounded on the door. "Come in."
"Sorry to interrupt Doctor, but your shift has ended and Watson sent me to ensure that you actually went to bed."
"Assure him I'll be gone the very first second I can." Alastair waited until the nurse had retreated, then yawned again. "Well do whatever you like Darcy, but don't blame me if you become a cripple."
"I'm more likely to be dead." Darcy rose to his feet. "Sleep well, Nash will come to see you before April."
"Thank you." Alastair watched as the tall figure left, then stifling another yawn he went to the room where his bed was situated, he needed some sleep and he needed it badly.
"Lizzie!" The call surprised Elizabeth and she looked around in vain for the person who called her. "Lizzie!" The call came again, and finally Elizabeth saw Charlotte hurrying up.
"Charlotte!" Elizabeth gave her friend a quick embrace and stepped back to take another look around. "It seems to be quite pleasant here?"
"I assure you it is." Charlotte quickly gave instructions concerning Elizabeth's small bag of clothes, instructions which Elizabeth protested against.
"But Charlotte, I am quite capable of carrying my own things, there is no need to get someone else to carry them."
"Lizzie, this is not your hospital, this is Kent, and if Lady Catherine were to hear that you carried your own luggage we would never live it down, in Hunsford women do not try to be capable and independent, we do not believe in such frivolous new fashion things."
"But Charlotte..." Elizabeth stopped, then shrugged. "Very well." She released her bag to the small boy Charlotte had summoned, then followed Charlotte away from the station.
"My father and sister arrived yesterday, and we are to dine at Rosings today, so I hope you have a reasonable dress along."
"Yes Charlotte, I brought no fewer then three reasonably dresses. But why one earth will I want that many? I am only here for a fortnight Charlotte."
"Lizzie, you cannot wear the same dress twice to see Lady Catherine...as it is it looks like it is quite likely you will anyway. How annoying."
"Really Charlotte, I did not come here to be dragged into a social whirl, they do not give us leave so we can improve our social lives. I would much prefer not to do anything."
"That Elizabeth is not an option." Charlotte led the way into the small but comfortable parsonage and up the stairs. "This is your bedroom, would you prefer to unpack now, or see the house now and unpack later."
"Perhaps if I unpack later?"
"That's fine with me. Now come Lizzie..." Charlotte lead the way back down the stairs and soon Elizabeth had received a comprehensive tour of the house and a good idea of the structure of how the household worked. The main reason behind everything was to keep Mr. Collins outside or in his study as much as possible, but Elizabeth had to admit that the air of the house was comfortable.
"You seem happy and settled." Elizabeth took one last look around the sitting room.
"Oh, I am, this is a very comfortable place to live."
"Cousin Elizabeth!" Mr. Collins came hurrying into the room.
"Mr. Collins." Elizabeth nodded briefly in response.
"Has my Charlotte seen to your wants?" Mr. Collins was bubbling effusively, Elizabeth had no other word to describe his behaviour.
"Yes she has." Elizabeth pondered briefly whether she was meant to be jealous of what Charlotte had gained, but the moment was only brief, since no matter what motives Mr. Collins had, Elizabeth was not at all jealous.
"Has she also informed you that we, all of us including you, have been invited to dine at Rosings this evening?"
"Yes, she has told me we were invited to dinner at Rosings." Elizabeth was not actually looking forward to the dinner, but from Charlotte's remarks she gathered that she actually had no choice in the matter.
"It is indeed a great honour for you. Oh Charlotte." Mr. Collins turned to his wife. "I was speaking with Lady Catherine only this morning, apparently Mr. Darcy and his cousin Fitzwilliam are expected to arrive sometime this week."
"Mr. Darcy?" Charlotte and Elizabeth spoke at exactly the same time.
"Yes, Mr. Darcy, though I am unsure as to which Darcy it is."
"Mr. Collins, what do you mean by 'which Darcy'?" Elizabeth felt somewhat annoyed.
"Well it might be Mr. Darcy whom we've all met in Meryton, but it might also be his military brother of whom we've heard, Lady Catherine didn't actually say which it was. She just said that Mr. Darcy and his cousin were coming to visit for a week or two."
"Well I'm sure it won't kill us to see them. Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'd like to rest until we must depart." Elizabeth hastily excused herself and fled to her room. She had a headache already and the news that Mr. Darcy might possibly be on the point of arriving in the neighbourhood aided her headache not at all. The evening passed much as Elizabeth expected it too, in a very boring manner. Sir William and Mariah Lucas were so overawed at such a display of affluence and elegance that they hadn't a word to say, Elizabeth felt so ill by such display that she was unable to think of something suitable to say for the first half or so of the visit, and the second part was spent feeling annoyed at the officiousness of Lady Catherine. She now fully understood the remark from Mr. Wickham concerning the similarity between Mr. Darcy and his aunt, there was no doubt that her relations hampered Lady Catherine not in the slightest when it came to criticising the war. Elizabeth had quite a difficulty when it came from restraining herself, some of Lady Catherine's remarks made Elizabeth want to take that large lady and hammer her head into the wall. Just sitting there watching Elizabeth could see many similarities between aunt and nephew, both were over average height, though the nephew was more so, both had the same nose, a large feature which dominated the face, and an arrogant confidence. Elizabeth was astounded however by Miss Anne de Bourgh. From the nephew and the aunt she would have expected to see a large girl with a confident air, instead she found a girl who was even smaller then she was, and Elizabeth had never considered herself anything more then average height, with a colourless manner. She might have been pretty had she not been so thin and in possession of a rather scared countenance. Elizabeth tried to start a conversation with Anne, but her efforts met with monosyllables or silence so Elizabeth gave up and sat silent except when Lady Catherine deigned to question her. It was with relief that Elizabeth departed at the end of the evening and sought out her bed, she hoped that one of the visitors was not The Mr. Darcy, and she hoped the other didn't follow the trend of monosyllables which Miss Anne and Mr. Darcy seemed to have a partiality for.
"Lizzie!" Charlotte came flying upstairs to where Elizabeth was reading letters from Jane and her aunt Gardiner. Mr. Gardiner had had his visit to Paris extended until June or July, and Jane had gone to spend a second leave with them so Elizabeth continued to receive mail.
"What is it?" Elizabeth laid the letters aside.
"Mr. Collins is returning with two men in tow, I think you should descend to the sitting room."
"Okay Charlotte, I'll be down immediately." Elizabeth waited until Charlotte had walked away before she stood up and looked out the window. Sure enough Mr. Collins was returning with two very large men following a short distance behind, with a sigh Elizabeth turned away and hurriedly returned the letters to her case before descending to sit demurely beside Charlotte.
"My dear, please." Mr. Collins came flying into the room.
"Yes Mr. Collins." Charlotte rose as Mariah came hurrying into the room and sat down next to Elizabeth.
"Mr. Darcy and Mr. Fitzwilliam." The maid appeared briefly, then disappeared as the two men ducked through the doorway.
"Mr. Darcy, Mr. Fitzwilliam, welcome to my humble abode." Mr. Collins bustled forward, Elizabeth had a fight with her desire to laugh, one would never have thought that he had separated with them a mere minute before. Lifting her eyes to glance at the ceiling Elizabeth stopped to stare in shock, a laughing glint was in Darcy's eye when her glance passed and it shocked her, that Mr. Darcy had a sense of humour at all surprised her. It was a shock, but by no means unpleasant, Elizabeth had found no one who could share such laughter with her since before the war. Jane and Charlotte were good enough friends, but they certainly lacked in the humour department. The moment was then broken as Mr. Collins continued his effusive greetings.
"Thank you for permitting us to trespass on your hospitality, but I am actually Colonel Fitzwilliam, not a Mr." Fitzwilliam stepped forward slightly with a deprecating expression.
"Then why did the maid introduce you as otherwise?" Elizabeth looked at him curiously. The cousin was probably three or four inches shorter then Darcy and had a much more relaxed face, his mouth always seeming to smile faintly.
"Lady Catherine does not encourage people to uphold the army and the war, it is a move of diplomacy, but as I am no longer on the property of Rosings I would be in breach of Military Law if I were to withhold my rank." Colonel Fitzwilliam paused briefly to greet Charlotte before sitting down next to Elizabeth.
"No uniform? Is that also not a punishable offense?" Elizabeth teased gently, testing out the man's reception of it.
"Most certainly it is, but I also have some moral priorities which line up with my aunt's, she does not permit the wearing of a uniform inside the house, and I do not think she would approve if I were to wear civilian clothes to the boundary then change into military uniform."
"A justifiable assumption. Is there a warden in these parts?"
"Uhhhh, yes." Fitzwilliam frowned then turned his head. "Darcy who is the warden here?"
"Sir Clarence Westing." Darcy glanced briefly at his cousin before returning his attention to what Charlotte was saying.
"That's him. The Warden here is Sir Clarence and I spend my days hoping that he will not happen to see me."
"A terrifying man?"
"Not at all Miss Bennet, he looks like a teddy bear." Fitzwilliam gave a slight chuckle.
"He might be an interesting person to meet then, I have never met a teddy bear before."
"What! No teddy bears while you were growing up? You poor deprived person, I will immediately rectify the matter. Didn't your brother even have one?"
"No." Elizabeth tried to swallow the lump in her throat, Folin had never had a teddy bear, his prize possession was a thoroughly bashed up bunny rabbit.
"I appologise Miss Bennet, I had not meant to distress you." Fitzwilliam spoke softly.
"It's okay." Elizabeth shook her head gently and finally managed too swallow the lump. "He died in the battle of Loos and that is apparently still too recent."
"Bennet...Bennet..." Fitzwilliam creased up his brows. "I've heard the name..." Fitzwilliam shook his head gently. "It escapes me, admittedly I have little to do with the lower officers and the men."
"General Staff?" Elizabeth lifted an inquisitive eyebrow.
"Guilty Miss Bennet...or I was."
"Not now?"
"Injured actually, I'm hoping to return within a month or so."
"Well good luck to your recovery." Elizabeth paused. "Colonel Fitzwilliam, could you tell me why Mr. Darcy is staring at us?"
"No." Fitzwilliam responded after looking at his cousin for a minute with a puzzled expression. "Darcy, where have I heard the name Bennet from?"
"You met a Lieutenant Bennet back in about April, he was in my brother's company." Elizabeth wasn't sure, but she had the feeling that there had been a slight emphasis on the word brother.
"Oh...yes." Fitzwilliam blinked a perplexed frown coming between his brows as he stared at his cousin. "I appologise Miss Bennet." Fitzwilliam jolted out of his thoughts and turned back to her. "I got distracted. Yes, as Darcy says, I met your brother. I remember he had little to say for himself."
"You might also remember that he had also been strangled the day or so before." Darcy's deep voice interrupted again. "In my experience that makes anyone fairly silent." This caused Elizabeth to crease her brows in concentration. "How is everyone in Meryton Miss Elizabeth?"
"Well enough Mr. Darcy."
"That is good to hear."
"Have you seen anything of Mr. Bingley recently?"
"Nothing of either Lieutenant Bingley or his sisters since he rejoined."
"I see." Elizabeth nodded briefly. "When were you last in France Colonel?"
"January, February...I honestly can't remember Miss Bennet."
"25th of February was when we retrieved you Colonel, and speaking of retrieval I fear we must be going or Aunt Catherine might send the stable hand to retrieve us."
"I don't think I'd go then, nothing less then a butler will satisfy me." The Colonel rose to his feet as he spoke with an arrogant look, in Elizabeth's opinion he was a slightly shorter edition of Mr. Darcy when he did that, though admittedly his hair was lighter and his skin darker.
"Dear me, how arrogant you have grown of late Colonel...even more like a brass-hat."
"And how unsociable you have grown...so like a C.O." The response came with yet another curious look, there was a definite warning in the look that came in response.
"That reminds me, everyone is invited to dinner tomorrow evening." Darcy walked to the door as he spoke and a few minutes later both men were seen walking down the narrow lane to where a gate would permit entrance to Rosings, Elizabeth frowned at the gestures Colonel Fitzwilliam was making, there was no doubt that the Colonel was protesting at something.
"Good grief Darcy, what got into you? You can't just break military laws like that." Fitzwilliam barely waited until they were out the gate before he began.
"Like what?" Darcy countered coolly.
"Don't give me that AGAIN!" Fitzwilliam glared up at his cousin.
"What would you say if I said that Georg, Graf von Nickel was still alive?"
"I would ask who Graf von Nickel was."
"You almost met him two years ago." Darcy frowned sharply at the nearby hedge.
"That doesn't explain why you were breaking Army Law. For crying out loud Darcy, you can't just supply your rank when you feel like it! I should be having you charged for such a move."
"Did I say it did explain why I had withheld my rank?" Darcy paused. "Charge away, but it won't get you anywhere. The red tape of the War Office does occasionally have its advantages. Besides which you'd have met with a wall of disbelief had you told them I was a Lieutenant-Colonel, they know me as Conscientious Objector...hence my reluctance to correct my introduction."
"Wait a minute, WHY do they know you as a C.O.?"
"Because that's what they were told. It's very easy to be a C.O. when you have a smashed leg."
"But wait a minute, you were in hospital until January."
"What has that got to do with this?"
"Everything I suspect. You were in France between about April and October of '15. You were at training camp from September of '14 until you went to France and you were in hospital until two months ago. The fact that you know these people just doesn't line up."
"Neither does the fact that you'd hit a wall of red tape if you started asking questions. Look Ned, this is a touchy subject and I advise you not to ask into it."
"I suppose it is very like the matter of June and July of '14. What is it with you? you seem to spend half your time doing things you aren't permitted to talk about."
"I said it back in September of '14, and I'll say it again Ned, there are some things that it is best not to ask after."
"Someday you're going to have to tell me the truth and all of it Dave, because I tell you right now that I like it as much as I like spinach that I don't actually know the truth of what happened to Georgiana. I've kept off your back because so much happened simultaneously and then the war started, but someday you're going to have to tell me."
"There is nearly nothing I can tell on the matter, Georgiana still doesn't remember it and the one person who does know isn't talking."
"Damn your extra four inches." Fitzwilliam felt a bitter taste in his mouth that his cousin still could not trust him and was on the point of stalking off when a strong hand caught him.
"Ned." Darcy looked soberly down at his cousin. "Trust me, what happened to Georgiana will never happen again, it was the result of an accident and a misunderstanding. Do not blame yourself, for even if you had been there you could not have stopped it. I was telling the truth when I said that bureaucracy was the reason why you weren't told everything. The whole affair was my fault and I won't have you trying to take the blame."
"Dave, that is damnably difficult to believe when I know nothing beyond what I heard from the police and the family gossip. The police claim you murdered Peter now, and the family know you enforced the breaking of the engagement and then there's the accusation about forgery."
"Someday I'll explain Ned, but please, for now, just drop the matter. I can assure you it won't happen again because the person who did it has worked out the family connections. He knew me as David Seymour, not as a Darcy when he tried to enter the Darcy-Fitzwilliam family, he thought he was safe until he found out that I was in truth a Darcy...and then he needed to protect his own back and hopefully put me out of action." Darcy stopped looking at his cousin. "What happened was entirely my fault, I cannot have others blaming themselves." Darcy dropped the hold he had on Fitzwilliam's shoulders and strode hurriedly away. Fitzwilliam's mouth formed into a silent whistle as he watched Darcy limp away.
"No wonder." Fitzwilliam hesitated a moment longer then turned and strolled towards the house in as unmilitary a manner as he could manage having spent half his life in the army. Fitzwilliam shook his head, he couldn't begin to comprehend the guilt under which his cousin was living, his mind just blanketed itself when he tried to consider it, he had a bad enough time when he felt guilty over what had happened, but that was nothing compared to the actual knowledge that the whole affair was your fault. But that still didn't explain why Miss Bennet and the Collins' believed Darcy to be a Conscientious Objector, that was a matter he was going to have to do a bit of discreet prying over, and with luck, Miss Bennet would oblige him.
The front entrance hall had not become any less opulent in the few days since Elizabeth had last seen it, it still made her feel ill to see such garish display of wealth during such a war.
"If you would kindly wait here, we are expecting Sir Clarence to arrive soon." The butler bowed to them gravely.
"Johnstone! Darcy wants to know if the footman has yet managed to polish his shoes?" Colonel Fitzwilliam had just arrived at the foot of the stairs in civilian attire.
"I believe the shoes have been finished sir, but I think you might be desirous of changing. Sir Clarence is expected for dinner."
"Sir Clarence?" A look of horror came into Fitzwilliam's face. "Oh heavens, why did you not tell me earlier? I would have run away."
"I was only just informed by her ladyship."
"Well Darcy wants his shoes as soon as possible, seems to be in a somewhat infamous temper tonight."
"He always is when his valet is not around, James is certainly not up to the task." Johnstone's voice reproved the Colonel's casualness.
"Well don't blame me, it's not my fault that Nash took ill an hour ago...Darcy shouldn't be so fussy about his dress." Fitzwilliam was already halfway up the stairs again and had soon vanished from sight. "I'll be back in a minute." The Colonel's voice came back down the stairs. Johnstone shook his head at such informality, then sent one of the footmen to retrieve Mr. Darcy's shoes.
"Sir Clarence Westing." It was some five minutes later when Johnstone made the introduction, and the man who followed him into the room was as charming as an elderly man ever got, Elizabeth fully understood the Colonel's likening him to a teddy bear. His hair was a white fringe around a shiny bald top, his eyes were gleaming chips of laughter and he was only just taller then Elizabeth.
"Stop being formal Johnstone, or you will get those two boys in trouble." The sight of him reprimanding the butler made Elizabeth want to laugh, so to did the idea of anyone calling Colonel Fitzwilliam and Mr. Darcy boys.
"Her ladyship would not approve, Sir Clarence."
"I'm not interested in her ladyship. I'm interested in those two boys who ruined my cucumber frame 14 years ago."
"Are we still unforgiven for that?" Fitzwilliam was standing at the foot of the stairs again, his dress uniform immaculate.
"Forgiven but not forgotten by a long shot. How are you this evening Colonel?"
"I am well enough Sir Clarence, have you been introduced to the rest of them?"
"Of course not, you know your aunt reserves that privilege for herself." A smile spread slowly across Sir Clarence's countenance, but it vanished into a worried look as a cough was heard from the room directly ahead of them.
"Oh dear." Fitzwilliam was looking around nervously. "How long can we delay Johnstone?"
"About four more seconds sir." The butler then walked over to the impressive double doors.
"All it needs is a trumpet fanfare." Elizabeth did not realize that she had made the remark aloud until Colonel Fitzwilliam agreed with her, the majority of his attention seemed to be focussed on the stairs though.
"How's Darcy? He wouldn't answer my questions earlier." Sir Clarence also seemed to be highly interested in the staircase.
"He never answers any questions. I believe he's as well as may be expected. Damn it! Where is he? He was tying his shoes when I left."
"Johnstone will you please go and see what is delaying him?" Sir Clarence was starting to frown.
"Very good sir." Johnstone turned and walked towards the stairs, only to stop dead. By craning her neck Elizabeth caught a brief sight of a most elegantly attired Mr. Darcy come flying off the end of the banister and grab hold of Johnstone as he slid past on highly polished shoes.
"As ever Darcy, you choose most appropriate methods to make your entrances." Sir Clarence's face crinkled up as Darcy flushed slightly.
"I apologize Johnstone, Ladies." Mr. Darcy carefully checked his attire, then bowed too the company.
"Everything okay Darcy?" Colonel Fitzwilliam had started forward abruptly as Darcy had come off the end of the banister.
"Fine thank you Fitzwilliam. Good evening Sir Clarence. It's been a while since we've met." Darcy paused then turned to the butler. "Whenever you are ready Johnstone, I feel sure that Lady Catherine is getting tired of waiting...and of coughing." The last was added as yet another cough sounded. "Sir Clarence I thank you very much but that hit clocked up my century, even if it did destroy your cucumber frame, and even then you admitted it to be an impressive shot." Darcy stepped over and offered his arm to Charlotte.
"Very good sir." Johnstone strode to the double doors which the footmen threw open, as befitted a person of his position Johnstone ignored the childish conversation which Mr. Darcy was holding with Sir Clarence Westing on the subject of a Cricket game held some fourteen years earlier. As Johnstone announced their names the party entered the room, Elizabeth was thankful that she was assigned Colonel Fitzwilliam and the meal passed for the two of them in lively banter. After the meal the gentlemen vanished for most of an hour to have their port, while Elizabeth was simultaneously bored and entertained while she listened to Lady Catherine's instructions to Charlotte.
"...No I don't think it has been ever achieved since, not even when some lads were deliberately trying to out do it." Sir Clarence and the other gentlemen came into the room with this remark.
"It is most inappropriate of you Sir Clarence to make reference to something which occurred 14 years ago." Lady Catherine was not impressed.
"Lady Catherine, I am the warden, I will say what I like and where I like. If I care to stir Darcy here up by making reference to the first time we met, then I will, and not a single sniff from you will ever prevent me."
"It shows a most grudging and ill disposition, you should try to remedy the matter." Lady Catherine had now finished with the subject and turned to Mr. Collins. "Mr. Collins, your sermon on Sunday was very nearly admirable." Elizabeth watched in disgust while Collins all but lost balance in shock.
"Miss Bennet?" Colonel Fitzwilliam was standing next to her, and it was with pleasure that Elizabeth ignored the rest of Lady Catherine's strictures on Mr. Collins' sermon.
"Colonel Fitzwilliam." Elizabeth moved over slightly so there was plenty of room for him to take a seat. Conversation between them flourished on all manner of topics, and Mr. Darcy's eye was fixed on them more often then it was fixed on his cousin Anne whom he was supposedly conversing with.
"Fitzwilliam! Of what are you talking?" With Lady Catherine's interruption it was clear that Darcy was not the only one who was curious as to what they were discussing.
"We were talking of music ma'am." Fitzwilliam responded finally when the original request was repeated.
"Of music? Pray speak aloud, I adore music. Had I ever learnt an instrument I am sure I would have excelled at it, as would Anne. How goes your sister Darcy?"
"Georgiana continues to improve...or so Mrs. Annesley reports." Darcy answered the question calmly, but he showed no more emotion then, than when Lady Catherine had commended Anne. This satisfied Elizabeth, Darcy might be supposed to marry Anne de Bourgh, but he was certainly not in love with her, or with Miss Bingley, in fact he was just as likely to marry Miss Bingley as his cousin.
"Well tell her from me she will not continue to improve unless she practices constantly."
"I can assure you aunt that she needs no such recommendation." Darcy bent further over to flick a speck off his shoes.
"Does everyone call Mr. Darcy, Darcy?" Elizabeth asked the question as Lady Catherine settled into declaiming about what prowess she might have had, and giving Darcy much advice concerning his sister of which he ignored all.
"Certainly most people do, it saves complication. Or should I say it did save complication, now it is just habitual."
"Did? What type of complication?"
"Mr. Darcy's brother ma'am." Fitzwilliam flashed a quick glance across at Darcy. "They were very similar and so it was easier to just call them by the one name, then you invariably got the attention of the one you wanted, even if you didn't know which one he was."
"They were that similar?" Elizabeth was startled.
"No Miss Bennet, but their dissimilarities were hard to recognize unless they were standing together. Darcy had perhaps an inch of extra height and his brother had slightly lighter hair."
"You call them Darcy and his brother...no names?"
"I suggest you discuss that matter with Darcy himself, his brother is still a sore point and I fear that he would not appreciate it if he knew we were discussing him."
"Oh." This in fact made Elizabeth want to ask even more questions, but it was clear that the Colonel was trying to close the subject. Conversation between them lapsed until the coffee cups were removed.
"Miss Bennet, you promised to play the piano for me."
"What? Here?" Elizabeth looked alarmed.
"As well as not, I might possibly depart before you fulfill your promise."
"Your movements are that uncertain?" Elizabeth looked surprised, she had understood he was on leave for at least another week and a half.
"No, Darcy's movements are actually where the uncertainty is, when we depart he is unlikely to give more then a couple of hours warning."
"And he was chastising Mr. Bingley for celerity of departure and inconvenience to those around himself."
"Was he?" There was unmistakable interest in the Colonel's eyes. "I must thank you for that piece of information Miss Bennet, it should be of use someday." The Colonel stood up as he spoke and offered her his arm. Elizabeth took it with a slight feeling of reluctance, she had not practised for months and months now, and she had a very bad feeling that she would muff things up somewhat. It was a series of relatively easy scales and exercises that Elizabeth chose to play. She had no intention of trying anything more difficult with both Lady Catherine and Mr. Darcy listening from the other room.
"Mr. Darcy!" Elizabeth made the greeting without pausing her playing when she saw him approach through the door.
"Miss Elizabeth." Darcy responded gravely, then gave Fitzwilliam a brief nod.
"Have you come to frighten me of this delightful instrument by making such a splendid and grand entrance, or am I meant to grovel to thank you for your kindness for deigning to listen to my pitiful attempts. I warn you, my courage always rises to any attempt to intimidate me."
"I fear you are wrong on both counts Miss Elizabeth, I had neither thought my entrance grand, nor had I even entered the room to listen, my aunt sent me to ensure that Fitzwilliam here was behaving himself."
"Should he not be?" Elizabeth's colour had heightened slightly at the snub.
"One never knows with these military men."
"You're a good one to talk Darcy!" Fitzwilliam had listened until then in silence, but that drew a protest from him.
"Indeed I am. Ignore Miss Elizabeth, we have met before on many occasions and I know for a fact she frequently takes pleasure in stating opinions that are not her own."
"Your cousin will give you a pretty picture of me." Elizabeth had laughed fairly heartily at this picture, but it had not amused her in the slightest. "He would prefer you to believe not a word I say. And here I was hoping I might pass myself off with credit." Elizabeth changed to a slightly harder piece of music. "Indeed Mr. Darcy is most ungenerous of you to mention all that you knew to my disadvantage in Hertfordshire...and impolitic to."
"Impolitic Miss Bennet?" Fitzwilliam had the feeling that there was something odd going on here. He was also thoroughly aware that whatever was going on was way beyond him.
"Why yes indeed, for I might be forced to turn and retaliate, and that I fear would be too great a shock for your system Colonel. What a tragedy for the army to lose such an officer as yourself." Elizabeth smiled angelically.
"Your trust in my prowess does you honour Miss Bennet, but I fear my cousin disagrees with you."
"Your cousin most certainly does object Fitzwilliam, brass-hats, the lot of you are intolerable." Darcy calmly leant on the edge of the piano. "I warn you Miss Elizabeth, I do not fear what you might say, and would in fact rejoice if the Colonel here would be shocked."
"Would you?" Elizabeth stared at Darcy in amazement. That was most certainly not the answer she expected.
"Certainly Miss Elizabeth, I have not managed to drag one surprised screech out of him since my brother and I put three kilograms of gelatin into his bed."
"That was not a screech of surprise you barbarian, that was a roar of revenge. But please Miss Bennet, off what might you accuse him? I have had far too little ammunition with which to ground my mighty cousin for months now."
"Not insufficient ammunition, just bad strategy."
"I had the feeling you had not seen him in months."
"True, but one can still correspond through the letter." The Colonel nobly ignored Darcy's interjection and slight on his abilities.
"As you say, true. But prepare yourself for this is truly shocking." Elizabeth suddenly ad-libbed some dramatic chords into the exercise she was playing. "The first time I met your cousin was at a ball, I fear to offend you, but he only danced one dance and there was a notable shortage of gentlemen. Not only this but I know that at least one lady had to sit a dance out." Elizabeth ad-libbed another dramatic chord. "Mr. Darcy, do you deny your crime?"
"Certainly not." Darcy met Elizabeth's challenging look blandly, then pulled out his watch and glanced at it before grimacing. "I was unfortunately not introduced to anyone before the dance."
"True, a ballroom is never a place to be introduced to people." Elizabeth frowned at her music. "Colonel, I fear I have run out of music. My fingers await your orders."
"That does not surprise me at all really. I fear Darcy is in a better situation then I am for advising music to be played."
"Colonel, my fingers await your orders, not Mr. Darcy's."
"Perhaps Miss Elizabeth would have been more approving had I introduced myself to someone." Darcy handed a book to the Colonel, who promptly offered it to Elizabeth. "But I fear I am ill qualified for the job."
"Then one might ask..." Elizabeth stopped and made a horrible grimace at the music. "Why a young man of birth, fortune, intelligence and looks is ill qualified to introduce himself to strangers. Colonel Fitzwilliam, you may have offered this music to me, but I defy you to claim that you chose it." Elizabeth pulled one final face then started to cautiously finger a few points softly.
"Oh I can answer that for you Miss Bennet, it is because he doesn't try. He actually manages quite nicely when someone has taken the trouble to force him into action."
"I have not the ease that some possess when it comes to falling into conversation with others."
"My fingers do not move over the keyboard with the strength, skill and ease that some young ladies manage, but I have always assumed that it was because I did not practise, not because my fingers were lacking." Elizabeth flinched as she hit a monumentally wrong chord.
"True Miss Elizabeth, but on occasions it is preferable to have an excuse of imperfect social skills then to have to admit that you were in a bad mood for the evening. All a matter of pride when you look at it."
"Or a matter of Oysters. That reminds me Darcy, when were you in Hertfordshire?" The Colonel lifted an inquisitive brow, and received for his pains a decidedly unimpressed look.
"Not at all a matter of oysters." The response was damping.
"Oysters?" Elizabeth blinked at this seeming change of subject.
"Yes, a most sociable thing when carefully prepared and set up. It travels around the room sitting on its cracker and cheerfully views the world. Leave it alone and it hunkers down hidden in its hard shell and ignores the world completely."
"Oh." Elizabeth stifled a giggle at the description, and at the sight of Mr. Darcy calmly emptying his cousin's wine glass into a nearby pot plant.
"You'd obviously had too much." Darcy returned the glass to his astounded cousin.
"I doubt the pot plant enjoyed it more then I was. But stop distracting me." Fitzwilliam frowned at his cousin. "When were you in Hertfordshire?"
"He was there during November and December of last year." Elizabeth calmly answered, then with a deep breath she began the piece of music she had been given.
"Nov...damn it all Darcy, what in Hell were you doing in Hertfordshire then?"
"I didn't arrive until the 17th so relax." Darcy calmly lifted up another music book and fired the Colonel a distinctly warning look from under its cover.
"Damn it all I won't!"
"Well if you won't relax at least remember that there is a lady in the room and that language of the front lines is not appreciated." Darcy responded curtly as he returned the book to its place.
"Were you offended Miss Bennet?" Fitzwilliam turned to her.
"Not at all, one hears much worse remarks issuing from someone when they first surface from the morphia. I will admit that I am more curious as to why Mr. Darcy was apparently in Hertfordshire since you seem to think he was somewhere else at the time."
"You're not the only one curious, but I expect our reasons for being curious are different."
"Ned are you trying to annoy me? I told you to drop the subject and I meant it." Darcy wondered how much further his cousin would go in this line.
"Well maybe I don't want to drop it, I'm just using the delightful Miss Bennet here in an effort to find out what you won't tell." Fitzwilliam gave up any pretence, he wanted information and he'd use whatever means were made available.
"Well why don't you ask Miss Elizabeth, she was there, she knew what I was doing." Darcy turned around then made a muttered remark of annoyance before turning back to the piano. Elizabeth looked up in surprise and observed a footman approaching with a salver and Lady Catherine approaching from two perpendicular directions.
"That Darcy is blatant insubordination." Fitzwilliam was even more suspicious then ever now, unfortunately Nash was approaching and this meant that questioning Darcy any more that evening was out of the question, Fitzwilliam did have some respect for his hide.
"It is not. I made a suggestion, I'm not refusing to do something." Darcy had started to turn away, but he turned back, before whipping back to look at the footman. "Not now Nash, later."
"Dr Alastair's instructions were precise sir." Nash responded with a dull monotone, but there was a wariness in his eyes which warred with the weariness, he knew even more then Colonel Fitzwilliam how fond of the morphia Darcy was.
"Don't be insane, there are people in the house." Darcy was rapidly coming to the conclusion that everyone was ganging up against him with full intention of getting him as embarrassed as possible in front of Miss Bennet. Did they wish to wash all his 'dirty washing' this evening?
"The orders were given for a reason, sir, now it will save a lot of trouble if you don't fight."
"Good luck Nash." Fitzwilliam gave a grin as he nodded.
"Thank you sir. Now, if you please sir."
"Darcy, what is that your man is carrying?" Lady Catherine had now come up to the group.
"It is a salver aunt Catherine." Darcy grabbed Nash's shoulder in annoyance and marched the man from the room.
"Miss Bennet, you should practise more, but all things considered you play most credibly." Lady Catherine then turned to leave. "Fitzwilliam, tell Darcy when he returns that he should give his man more spinach, his colour is bad." Lady Catherine then strode from the room.
"What was Mr. Nash carrying?" Elizabeth looked curiously at Colonel Fitzwilliam.
"It was probably Darcy's morphia."
"Why is Mr. Darcy on morphia?" Elizabeth blinked in surprise.
"Addicted to it, has been for a while I think." The Colonel shrugged briefly and glanced down at his shoes.
"You talk to much Ned." The sound of Mr. Darcy's voice caused Elizabeth's head to snap up. A dark frown marred Mr. Darcy's countenance and a distinctly unfriendly light shone in his eye.
"You can hardly blame your cousin Mr. Darcy, I asked a question and he had the decency to answer it." Elizabeth returned her hands to the keyboard. "Besides, your aunt says you should give Mr. Nash more spinach, she thinks his colour is bad."
"Nash's colour is in fact remarkably good. Try to refrain from publishing my private affairs abroad in future Ned."
"He was not publishing your private affairs abroad, Mr. Darcy. He merely answered a question I asked as any decent gentleman should." Elizabeth could find no similarity between this man and the man whom had shared a laugh with her, this was indeed Mr. Darcy from Meryton.
"Some of us are not particularly willing to have our private affairs talked about behind our backs. I have seen enough to know that I don't want that information getting abroad." But Darcy's countenance had lightened considerably.
"It makes little difference to me, I have spent the last year in the company of morphia addicts."
"Spent so much time with them that you don't realize how they are pitied by the world in general. Poor people, so dependant on a foreign substance, but we should humour them, it is not their fault." The bitterness in Darcy's tone caused Elizabeth to flinch back.
"Maybe you shouldn't have got addicted in the first place then. Don't blame us, we didn't do it to you." Elizabeth had rarely seen such utter bitterness and dislike in her life outside of the hospital.
"True Miss Elizabeth, you did not do it to me." Darcy opened his mouth as if to speak again, then closed it firmly and turned back to the door. "If you'll excuse me, I think I had better retire for the night."
"Sleep well Darcy."
"Shut up Colonel." Darcy closed the door pretty firmly behind himself and the Colonel bit back on a grin.
Elizabeth quickly worked out a routine which would minimise the amount she saw of her cousin, unfortunately Mr. Darcy also seemed to have worked out her routine for Elizabeth rarely managed to complete a stroll in either Rosings Park or the surrounding country without meeting him at some stage of her walk or other. When they met, Mr. Darcy tended to turn off whatever course he was following and accompany her back to the Rectory, making appropriate conversation. Elizabeth soon realized that had she not met him at Meryton or heard George Wickham's history she would most certainly have made a friend of him. His conversation, though slow to begin with tended towards the acidic when he got started, Elizabeth also discovered his sense of humour was quite present, but it was very dry, dry to the degree that her father's humour, which she had always considered to be wry and dry, appeared almost hamfisted in comparison. One thing she had to hand Mr. Darcy was that whatever his opinion of the war was, it was a carefully considered opinion as except for her father she had not actually met a civilian with such thorough information on the entirety of the war, and most of the soldiers she met also knew less about what was occurring, though most of the officers seemed to have a reasonable grip on what was occurring on the various fronts. Another thing that Elizabeth discovered was that Mr. Darcy's history and his family were a total no go zone, any conversation which might go there was adroitly steered into other channels. Politics, books, horses, farming, dancing, or clothes, you name a subject and he would discuss it with you, but introduce family opinions or anything related to family or personal history, well Elizabeth had to admit that he would listen, but he wouldn't put forward anything of his own. Every time she met him, she was annoyed, even though she knew he'd be an amusing conversationalist, then his conversation would make her forget her annoyance, until he left her at the rectory, when her annoyance would return at full force with a little extra added in and Elizabeth would literally kick herself up the stairs to her room to change. How could she enjoy talking to a murderer and a man who had ruined so many other men? How could she so betray George Wickham as to enjoy his company?
It was the second last day of her leave when Elizabeth was making her walk around the perimeter of Rosings Park that she heard a call.
"Miss Bennet." The call surprised her, because though she had frequently met Mr. Darcy, he had invariably just appeared next to her, he had never called out. Also was the fact that he called her Miss Elizabeth without failure. Elizabeth turned, and quickly realised for once that it was not Darcy who had called, but his cousin who was a short distance behind her.
"Colonel Fitzwilliam." Elizabeth waited patiently until the Colonel caught up with her, then turned to continue her walk.
"How does this day find you?"
"Well enough, and how is your day?" Elizabeth glanced up at him.
"It just became much more beautiful since you appeared."
"Colonel, you are flirting with me."
"True Miss Bennet, it is a most depressing circumstance which I only ever manage to become more conscious of." The Colonel produced a mournful face. "But please, permit me to make a present to you since I feel we will be parting company in the next few days." The Colonel held out a large bag as his mournful look vanished into a mischievous grin..
"A present?" Elizabeth eyed the bag doubtfully, that grin of his made her feel suspicious.
"Correct, it is when one person gives a surprise to another."
"Why are you giving me a surprise?" Elizabeth finally took the bag in a reluctant hand as the Colonel threatened to drop it.
"So this is what the VAD's do. Miss Bennet, have pity on me, I have been risking my life for you, and you now question why I might wish to give you a present. Heavens, if I gave one to my cousin Anne my aunt would have a million fits, if I gave one to Mrs. Collins everyone would assume we were having an affair, and I can assure you that we are not. Which only leaves you for me to give presents to. And I do like the idea of getting Darcy annoyed."
"Why should that get Mr. Darcy annoyed?" Elizabeth finally opened the top and took a quick peek in to see what was there.
"Darcy gets annoyed over some very strange things on occasion, so I aim at the strange in an effort to stir up that old Devil."
"Devil?" Elizabeth looked up in surprise from her effort to see what was in the bag without actually opening it fully.
"Sure, Darcy got the name a few years ago when he was restoring the family wealth in South Africa and he is certainly not ill named. Darcy most certainly has a the devil of a temper when someone actually manages to rouse it."
"Then why do you try to raise it?"
"Because he knows I'm trying to annoy him, so he never gets annoyed, basically it's just a bit of foolishness that has managed to last."
"That and the matter of a certain Cucumber frame?" Elizabeth gave a slight smile, then finally gave into her curiousity and opened the top of the bag completely. The contents caused Elizabeth to emit a gurgle of laughter.
"She laughs." The Colonel gave a sniff.
"Where did you find such a terrible thing?"
"Terrible!" The Colonel's expression became even more insulted before he finally also started laughing. "I thank you Miss Bennet but he took me a whole day to decide on."
"I'm not surprised." Elizabeth finally pulled the teddy bear out of the bag completely. The bear was covered in dark shaggy fur except for the face where the fur had been trimmed back. There was a neat peaked cap on the head and the bear was wearing a heavy greatcoat, the arm decorated by the band of an APM with thick fur hanging down over its collar. Elizabeth turned the bear over inspecting it carefully. "Sir Clarence does not look anything like this teddy bear."
"No, but I thought you'd appreciate this chap more."
"Just went looking for it Colonel?" Elizabeth was frowning down at the collar.
"Why use that tone?"
"This bear has no marks, which means it was completely handsewn and by a person who does not run a shop.":
"You are altogether too sharp for your own good Miss Bennet. But you are quite correct, I got my mother to make it for you, she spends nearly all her time making teddy bears. Her specialty is the Darcy bear."
"Darcy bear?" Elizabeth carefully restored the bear to its bag. "And is there any way I might be able to thank your mother?"
"No, my mother will be most pleased with the knowledge that this old fuzzball made you laugh. The Darcy Bear has to be seen, it cannot be described."
"Does he have a name?"
"No, you get to name him yourself."
"I don't have any names, so you had best name him."
"Me?" The Colonel looked almost alarmed. "I never name anything."
"Well you are going to name something now. If I don't like it I might manage to think up something for myself."
"Well.." The Colonel paused. "I have nothing beyond Peter currently."
"Peter? Interesting. Care to explain?" Elizabeth looked curiously down at the bag, for some reason Peter seemed to fit the bear.
"He was a long time friend."
"No longer?"
"No, he died only the year before last."
"Peter?...Peter?..." Elizabeth frowned thoughtfully as she tried to track it down.
"The name familiar?"
"Yes...very." Elizabeth knew she'd kick herself for not remembering sooner when she did remember. Elizabeth then gave a grunt as she remembered, how she could have forgotten amazed her. "When Mr. Darcy left Meryton last year our local constable was thoroughly annoyed because he had wanted to ask some questions concerning a Peter."
"Probably the same one, I wish someone would have the decency to tell me all about that business, though the interest of your constable explains why Seymour returned to haunt us."
"Seymour?"
"David, Darcy used the name when he went to South Africa several years back."
"Why a different name?
"Ask Darcy, not me, I just follow him around when we are in the same continent."
"Why do you let your movements be dictated by Mr. Darcy?"
"I don't actually, it's just that he's more likely to have to leave before I do. Don't get Darcy wrong Miss Bennet, he takes extreme care of people, even though he does have a fairly hard reputation."
"Care of people?" The remark seemed oddly worded. "His reputation is not hard as I know it...it's a lump of granite."
"Well most people hold him to be a fairly heartless individual, and in that I also include my own family, and I will admit that he can be fairly heartless, but for those of us who can count him as a friend he'd die sooner then let us down." Fitzwilliam paused. "Do you take advice Miss Bennet?"
"Sometimes." Elizabeth countered warily.
"Don't judge Darcy by how he was in Meryton, and don't judge him as he appears here. Those are not the real Darcy's, though this is closer to the real Darcy then he will have been in Meryton. This is not saying he isn't a hard man...have to admit, it's going to be a strong woman who marries him if one ever does...but Darcy has reasons for being who he is, and he lives with those reasons."
"Don't we all." Elizabeth shrugged slightly, then frowned. "Pity for those who don't count as friends. Why don't your family seem to think highly of him?"
"Oh they do, trust me, they do have a great deal of respect for Darcy, but they consider him to be very heartless."
"Why?" Elizabeth wondered whether she could get the story out of the Colonel.
"That's a bit of a home question Miss Bennet, and I would prefer to not answer that question because I do not know the whole story." The Colonel adroitly retreated, realising he had been talking too much. Damn Darcy and all his secrets.
"I'm sorry." Elizabeth gave a soft whistle of thoughtfulness, it seemed that Wickham had been telling the entire truth, else why would the Colonel be reluctant to admit that Darcy had interfered in his sister's engagement?
"But as I was saying, Darcy does take care of his friends. There was a fairly recent case, and from last night I assume it was Bingley whom he was helping, even though he mentioned no names. Darcy stopped Bingley from making an imprudent match, he seemed to have some objection to the family, or at any rate it had something to do with the lady's relations, I wasn't really listening much at the time."
"Mr. Darcy was boasting about interfering in his friend's affairs?" Elizabeth was absolutely horrified.
"No, I wouldn't call it boasting." The Colonel looked at her sharply. "Darcy doesn't boast, he was merely trying to pass the time during our trip here...he was using it as an example to explain something, but I was tired and doped and couldn't follow him. You wouldn't believe what a wide range of subjects he can cover on a train trip here." The Colonel looked at Elizabeth even more sharply. "Are you okay Miss Bennet?"
"I think I have the headache." Elizabeth had to admit that her head was aching, but not for the reasons he might think. "Perhaps I have walked too far today."
"Well permit me to escort you home." The return trip to the rectory was blissfully short and Elizabeth was soon thanking the Colonel before escaping to her room. She excused herself from Lady Catherine's kind invitation for them to come to dinner on the claim of a headache and having heard Charlotte and her cousin depart Elizabeth finally descended to the sitting room. She curled up on the windowsill with Jane's letters, scanning them, hoping to find some change in mood between the first and last, but there was no difference. Elizabeth finally laid the letters aside and stared out into the dimming twilight country until a sharp knock woke her from her reverie.
"Come in." Elizabeth hastily descended from the window sill, wondering who had come to call.
"There's a gentleman to see you Miss." The maid slipped into the dim room and quickly lit the lamp.
"Thank you Sarah." Elizabeth quickly straightened her skirt and took a more appropriate seat as Sarah went to let the visitor in.
"Mr. Darcy to see you Miss." Sarah bobbed a quick curtsey then hustled from the room.
"Mr. Darcy." Elizabeth rose to her feet and gave him a fairly curt nod, he was actually nearly the last person she wished to see.
"Miss Elizabeth." He responded gravely, then slowly looked around the room. "Your friend seems to have made this place quite comfortable."
"Such is Charlotte's talent, she can make comfort anywhere."
"She has done much for this house."
"Perhaps if you tell that to her instead of to me."
"I have." Darcy finally glanced back at Elizabeth. "Mrs. Collins said you were feeling unwell, I hope you feel better."
"I had the headache all afternoon and did not feel able to stand an evening of entertaining, so yes, I am better."
"I am very glad to hear it, you would be a sad loss to your hospital if you became unwell."
"I would hope I was missed if I felt unwell, but I would be disappointed if it disrupted things." Elizabeth finally sat down. "Would you like to take a seat Mr. Darcy?"
"No thank you Miss Elizabeth." Darcy finally moved from standing beside the door. "I have of late spent too much time sitting and prefer standing." Darcy met Elizabeth's puzzled look evenly then shrugged lightly.
"Each to their own. Are you and the rest at Rosings well?"
"Very well thank you, though the Colonel spent most of the afternoon making rude remarks." Darcy suddenly gave a grin at Elizabeth's stunned expression, an expression that became even more stunned by his grin. Elizabeth had never seen Darcy's expression as anything but a deadpan and this grin thoroughly caught her by surprise.
"Why was he making rude remarks, or is that private?"
"I would not have said he was making them if they were for a private reason. The General was checking out the repair job on Ned's ribcage and to say the least the examination was painful for Ned."
"Colonel Fitzwilliam's ribcage?"
"Yes, he stove in most of his ribs just before his leave began, so he discharged himself from the hospital he was put in France and came home for his leave. He states with complete truth that there was at least one if not more people who needed that bed more then he did."
"How did he break some ribs?"
"Carelessness on his part, but what more is to be expected from an Army Staff Officer, and in particular one from the General Staff. He rode his bicycle into a shell hole."
"You are not very complimentary of your cousin, anyone would think you didn't like him at all."
"If he wasn't my cousin and my friend I most certainly would not speak of him in such a manner." Darcy crossed to the hearth in two long steps, while Elizabeth gave him another stare of bewilderment, it made absolutely no sense to her at all and after a moment of consideration she said as much.
"That doesn't make any sense at all."
"Each to their own, surely you were not always formal and on your best manners with Bennie?"
"But he was my brother, and I certainly never spoke of him like that."
"The difference between the fact that I am a man and you are not. You never heard your brother and Ashie if you think I'm strange."
"You know of Ashie?" Elizabeth looked at Darcy doubtfully, were they thinking of the same person whom had been a Lieutenant in Folin's company or was Darcy thinking of another Ashie?
"I am more acquainted with Ashie then I ever wanted to be." Darcy suddenly rubbed the end of his nose and grimaced.
"Ben said that he was crazy."
"Ashie was absolutely insane, a more undisciplined officer I never met...though I think he has perhaps improved in his discipline of late." Darcy suddenly turned aside, but not before Elizabeth saw a flash of annoyance cross his face. "I appologise Miss Elizabeth, I was talking too much."
"Not at all." Elizabeth was well aware that it was one of Darcy's choice conversation stops and decided to oblige him as she couldn't see anything in what he was saying. "How much longer do you expect to be here for?"
"I do not know, our movements are dependent on others."
"You do not manage yourself entirely?" To say the least Elizabeth was stunned by the admission that he was actually dependent on someone else for his movements.
"Of course, my sister demands my presence on occasion." Darcy rubbed the end of his nose again...didn't he wish that Georgiana would demand his presence. Why could he not just admit to her that his brother was dead and he was in reality a commissioned officer in the army awaiting his recall to France after convalescence? And what a convalescence! Darcy gave a short laugh which caught Elizabeth off guard and caused her to glance at him nervously, the laugh had been remarkably bitter.
"You would prefer to be free completely?" Elizabeth looked at him in perplexity, she had yet to work out why he had even come, had he merely come to ask after her health he would probably have left already. So too the laugh did not seem to fit, at Netherfield his sister had seemed to be the most important person in his life.
"If I were entirely free my sister would have to be dead and that is something I would willingly live my entire life without." His response confirmed what Elizabeth had thought, Georgiana Darcy was the most important thing in his life, which made it strange that he would break of an engagement she was apparently happy in.
"Then I won't wish it upon you, I know from experience that losing someone close is painful."
"You're not the only one who knows that, but that is not actually why I came here this evening." Darcy turned away from the hearth and looked gravely down at her. Elizabeth looked back at him for a moment, then decided that she should not have sat down, it gave him too great a height advantage. Elizabeth looked away, she didn't actually like being studied like that, and it made her feel very small. Darcy then suddenly turned and looked aside, that he was uncomfortable about something was clear, he was pulling restlessly on his fingers as he looked around the room, then he suddenly took a deep breath, obviously having come to some conclusion and decided to act upon it. "In vain have I struggled with this, it will not do, it is totally unacceptable, but what ever I might say or want to say and feel I must admit to you how ardently I love, and admire you." Elizabeth glanced doubtfully at him, unsure of whether this was some sick joke, or whether he was serious. Though she had to admit that she wouldn't expect him to joke about such matters, Elizabeth coloured as she wondered and looked away. Darcy seemed to take this as encouragement and continued. He argued his case well, Elizabeth noted that he argued the case exactly the same as he argued against the war or against politics, or books, or anything. Elizabeth studied him gravely as he spoke, she had rarely had the option of listening in on such a deliberately considered argument, and as long as she ignored the fact that it was her own family he was referring to, and herself and her hospital system, she could listen to it with interest and not be offended. The fact that he loved her to the degree that he admitted it even through all these arguments rather impressed Elizabeth, but at the same time this did not change her thoughts, and she certainly had no intention of accepting him. No matter what he said or did, Elizabeth recoiled from his history and the general analytical type of character he had, the idea of being considered an object. But from the sincerity there was in his voice and attitude Elizabeth didn't really wish to hurt him more then absolutely necessary, though it was touch and go as he seemed to dwell excessively on the down points of her person.
"Mr. Darcy." Elizabeth had waited until he had finished, then taken a careful breath as she tried to formulate a suitable reply. "I believe that in situations like this it is proper to express one's sense of obligation for the sentiments avowed no matter how unequally they may be returned. It is natural for obligation to be felt, and if I could feel gratitude, I would now thank you. But as it is, I have never sought your good opinion, and I have certainly never wished for it. It has still been too short a space of time since my brother's death. I'm sorry to bestow pain on you, but your attentions have been most unwillingly given so one may assume that you will recover from this temporary...indisposition, with good speed." Elizabeth paused, then glanced up at him briefly as she received no response. Darcy had turned his head to one side and emotions were visibly chasing across his face and his mouth was very firmly compressed, that he was annoyed was easy to see, but for a different reason then Elizabeth had expected when he finally opened his mouth and spoke.
"And this is all the reply I am to have the honour of having? Am I permitted to ask why with so little civility I am thus refused? But then, no, obviously you deem me to be unfit of even giving me the true answer, let alone a complete answer." Darcy turned his head away, then suddenly brought it back. "Or perhaps you think such a morphia ridden wreck as I am cannot face the true reasons." He all but spat the last turning immediately as if to leave.
"My response was to try and save you from pain." Elizabeth couldn't help herself, the accusation that she was lying really annoyed her. She later wondered why she had bothered to answer at all, all it did was delay his departure. "But since you seem to want the truth you may have it. And as for lying, I defy you! My brother died less then six months ago and I thank you but I seem unable to fully recover from such a loss in such a short time. And the reason why I used so little civility as you term it, all I can say is think about how you made it!"
"Your brother died more then six months ago, he died on the 13th of October and this is the 20th of March, I have made no breach of propriety so don't throw that at me." Darcy stared down at her, and Elizabeth suddenly realised that Darcy had actually been being very gentle with her before, those grey-blue eyes seemed to be looking straight into her being and reading all that was there. "There is one thing I really dislike Miss Elizabeth, and that is people who don't tell the truth behind their reasons...either tell the truth, or give no reasons. I've witnessed too many deaths and accidents because someone did not explain what lay behind their reasoning and someone disobeyed an order on that reason. I want to know why, unless you cannot face it yourself, or are you going to admit that you would have accepted me if I had made it in pretty words and flowery terms?" His voice bit savagely, bitterly and bitingly.
"Your cousin said you had a devil." Elizabeth had involuntarily backed up to the wall, something she had said, or something he had thought had hit a very raw nerve, and Elizabeth was seriously scared. Mr. Darcy was a lot taller and stronger then she was and Elizabeth realised that there was absolutely nothing she could do if he decided to kill her, she doubted she'd even be able to call for help.
"Miss Elizabeth."
"Gu..." Elizabeth found her arms grabbed and she was lifted clean off the ground until she was at eye level with Mr. Darcy. The grey-blue eyes considered her gravely for a minute, then there was a slow nod.
"You're afraid?" There was stunned disbelief in the voice, pure amazement and bewilderment came into the face in front of her. "Miss Elizabeth...why are you afraid of me?"
"Could you please put me down Mr. Darcy, I would much dislike if someone were to come into the room and you were holding me like this." Elizabeth waited while Mr. Darcy seemed to consider the matter, then with a slight nod he calmly lowered her back down.
"Now would you be kind enough to answer my question?" Mr. Darcy stepped back to the hearth.
"I was not afraid of you Mr. Darcy." With her return to the floor and the return of the usual Mr. Darcy, Elizabeth found her courage restored at great speed, and with it came annoyance that she had been distracted. "And no, I would not have accepted you no matter how prettily you phrased yourself, my reasons have nothing to do with how you made it. Your method of delivery merely saved me from the feeling of guilt I might have in refusing you. You ask me why I refuse you, the answer is to be found in one word, though there are many others that are easily added to it. That word Mr. Darcy is murder. A pretty word is it not?"
"I fail to agree with you Miss Elizabeth, murder is never pretty."
"You seem rather calm about it." Elizabeth looked thoughtfully at him.
"What is there for me to be excited about? I infer from the remark that I am accused of committing a murder, since I would not be here if I had been murdered. I can assure you I have murdered no one."
"I suppose being party to the act doesn't count for you! What about Lieutenant Peter Fitzwilliam?" Elizabeth felt a slight touch of satisfaction as Darcy visibly paled and flinched. "You ask me why I mightn't wish to marry you. You who have ruined all hopes of future happiness for a beloved sister. I have every reason in the world to think ill of you. No motive or excuse can possibly clear you there. You dare not, indeed you cannot deny that you were the principle if not the only means of dividing them from each other and exposing one to the world to censure for caprice and instability, and the other to the world to pity for unfulfilled dreams and making both suffer from a misery of the most acute type." Elizabeth paused for breath and saw with not a little indignation that Mr. Darcy was now lounging against the mantelpiece, a faint smile of satisfaction was on his countenance. "Can you deny it?"
"I neither can, nor wish to deny it. To him I was kinder then to myself, I rejoice in my success of parting them, and someday, I have hopes you will manage to understand why I did it."
"But that is not the only reason." Elizabeth coolly ignored his remarks and continued as if he had not spoken. "My ill opinion of you was founded before that matter even started to be a consideration. Your character was revealed to me many months ago in a recital from Mr. George Wickham. On this subject what have you to say? With what imaginary act of friendship can you defend yourself with this time."
"You seem to take great interest in that gentleman's well being, but other than that, all I can say is that I am all ears. I am as yet unaware of what I am accused of."
"You claim no knowledge of what you did to him?" Elizabeth could hardly believe her ears, that the man could be so arrogantly uncaring. "Of course I take an interest in his affairs, none who have heard what he suffered could do anything but be interested."
"Oh, he has suffered." Darcy suddenly shook his head a thoroughly disgusted expression creeping into his face. "Indeed he has suffered, give me a chance and he'll suffer more...unfortunately he is no longer any of my business." There was a faint look of regret in Darcy's expression.
"You admit to inflicting on him so much pain? You admit to reducing him to his current state of poverty...relative poverty. You have withheld advantages which you must have known were meant to be his. You have deprived the best years of his life, of that independence which was meant to be his. You have done all this and you can still treat him with cool contempt and ridicule. Care you not that he had to stand by while you destroyed his best friend and your own sister whom you seem to care so much for?"
"So this is where your opinion comes from?" Darcy straightened abruptly, he had gone dead white at the mention of his sister, but the lapse was only momentary. In fact so momentary had it been that Elizabeth was rapidly coming to the conclusion that she had imagined it. "This is the estimation in which you hold me. I thank you for explaining so fully, it is small wonder you tried to protect me from the sheer evil of my character. My crimes by your calculation are indeed heavy...but are you sure you haven't forgotten my charge of forgery? After all, that is the first charge I received from the police."
"Thank you, I had forgotten." Elizabeth realised suddenly that she would become frightened again unless she remained angry.
"That being the given situation, I perfectly comprehend your response and attitude madam and all there is left for me to do is be ashamed of my actions and what my emotions had been. I will here and now appologise for having wasted your time in such a manner and give you my best wishes for your future health and happiness." Darcy gave a short bow, then walked across to the door, he then stopped and looked back at her. "And just to finalise my list of crimes so you can remember me with utter disgust as the most arrogant and contemptuous man you have ever met I will admit that I was previously a police officer in the South African Mounted Police. Nice isn't it? a former police officer who can so flagrantly and deliberately break the law for his own ends."
"How did you know when my brother died? No one outside my family and his fellow soldiers knew the exact date." Elizabeth didn't even register the remark as she suddenly remembered something which had surprised her earlier and she had forgotten about in subsequent surprise and shock.
"Because I was there!" Darcy snapped the reply and slammed immediately out of the room leaving Elizabeth to stare after him in stunned astonishment.
"You were there?" Elizabeth blinked. "Now who's lying." Elizabeth blinked again then suddenly dropped into her chair and started to cry.
"Darcy." The cry came as Darcy reached the top of the first flight of stairs. Darcy paused, then turned back.
"What is it Colonel." Darcy faced his cousin reluctantly.
"What's up? Where did you go? It's been three hours since you left."
"I went to see that Miss Bennet was well and then I went for a walk, the thought of facing Aunt Catherine was more then I could stand."
"But..." The Colonel stopped, he had seen Darcy with that expression only once before in his life and it was not a good sign to see it. "Okay." The Colonel shrugged and turned away. "I'll see you tomorrow morning." It was a puzzled Colonel who watched his cousin nod briefly before taking the second flight four steps at a time, and it was still a puzzled Colonel who let himself out of a small side door and headed out away from the house. The Colonel stopped briefly and glanced back at the house, a single light burned in the upper story, and with a sigh the Colonel continued his walk. What had so got Darcy as to make him wear that expression? The Colonel had only seen it once before, and that was about a week after Georgiana regained consciousness. The Colonel looked back at the house, then across to where the rectory was concealed by some bushes. Was the answer concealed over there?
Elizabeth rolled over for nearly the millionth time and gave her pillow a thump of frustration. Why could she not sleep? Elizabeth glanced up at the canopy and as had happened every time she had asked the question she got an answer, and it was not the answer she wanted. 'Because I was there!' The response echoed through the darkness again and Elizabeth considered briefly what she was going to do. She considered it only briefly because it took her only a second to realise that she hadn't the faintest idea what she might do. Elizabeth gave a growl of annoyance and threw her pillow across the room before grabbing her torch and using it to look at the clock. Two o'clock in the morning! Anyone would think she was on shift! And she wasn't meant to start that for another two days!
"Is something the matter Lizzie?" Charlotte's voice came from the doorway.
"Oh hello Charlotte." Elizabeth turned her torch on the door and saw Charlotte flinch back from the bright light. "Sorry." Elizabeth switched the torch off.
"Is something the matter Lizzie?" Charlotte came and sat on the edge of the bed.
"No, just can't get to sleep and that rather annoys me." Elizabeth gave a yawn, then waved cheerily at Charlotte.
"Are you sure nothing is the matter?"
"Quite sure Charlotte dearie." Elizabeth smiled up at Charlotte's shocked expression. "I'm just tired and can't get to sleep. So do be nice and go away before I say something which I might be embarrassed about later."
"Well, if you're sure Lizzie..."
"Quite Charlotte." Elizabeth watched Charlotte slip from the room before turning over again and staring out the window. Elizabeth had gone through every possible scenario for Darcy's parting remark, but none of them were really probable, which meant Mr. Darcy had been lying...either that or his brother had broken Military law and let a civilian onto the battle front during a battle, and Elizabeth certainly did not have that low an opinion of the British Army as to think that someone was capable of so flagrantly and blatantly endangering the lives of his men by letting someone without experience into such a situation...least of all when Folin had given such reports of the officer in question.
It had just passed dawn when Elizabeth finally gave up in complete disgust her efforts to fall asleep, obviously she was not meant to fall asleep, so at least she could try to do something...or at least stop lying in bed. Elizabeth dressed quickly and slipped downstairs into the damp morning air, it was mornings like these that she so loved to be alive...except when she had missed a night's sleep and felt like she had cotton filling her head. She paused in the lane, then on a rash decision turned and entered the grounds of Rosings, she didn't know what prompted the move, and she didn't really care, she just wanted to walk until her head cleared. Then Elizabeth came to an abrupt stop...what if she were to meet Mr. Darcy? Elizabeth then shook her head and laughed at herself. What would Mr. Darcy be doing risking himself and his precious health at this hour of the morning? she knew from Meryton that he never rose before nine in the morning and quite frequently not even before ten. Elizabeth turned and headed off down a small side path which she had discovered earlier in the week and she had never seen Darcy on. It was perhaps an hour later, when the sun was well up, that Elizabeth suddenly became aware of a figure approaching with long strides. Elizabeth stopped nervously and glanced to either side, but short of turning around and walking back the way she had come there was no where she could go. Elizabeth glanced at the approaching figure once more, that it was either Darcy or his cousin was beyond doubt, Elizabeth doubted there were two such tall men in the rest of south England. If it was the Colonel, well he would consider her turning unpardonably rude, but if it was Mr. Darcy Elizabeth had not the faintest idea of what she might say.
"Miss Bennet." The fact that the walker could now identify her would make it impossible to retreat, even though the voice definitely identified it as Mr. Darcy.
"Mr. Darcy." Elizabeth waited until he came up before responding, she was more then a little surprised that it actually was him, he was up at a most unseasonably early hour.
"Would you do me the honour of reading this letter?" Darcy held out a reasonably thick envelope. Elizabeth eyed it very doubtfully.
"Mr. Darcy?" Elizabeth looked at the ground and at the trees, but she deliberately avoided looking at the letter.
"Miss Bennet." Darcy paused. "Will you please do me the honour of reading this letter."
"But..." Elizabeth finally took the envelope as it began to joggle between impatient fingers.
"I have been walking for some time in hopes of finding you. I thank you." Mr. Darcy turned to leave.
"But Mr. Darcy!"
"Miss Bennet." Darcy turned back.
"What did you mean by last night?"
"Which part?" The expression was totally deadpanned.
"When you said you were there."
"I explained that Miss Bennet. Good day." Darcy nodded curtly before turning and walking off. Elizabeth gaped at his retreating back, how rude, arrogant, presumptuous...gargh. Elizabeth couldn't think of suitable words. What did he think she was? A mind reader? He certainly hadn't explained it last night. Elizabeth turned and walked as fast as she could in the other direction. Sophie would be more then glad if Elizabeth returned a day early. But...Elizabeth stopped her walk and look around herself at the trees, how would she explain to Charlotte if she came storming back into the house. Elizabeth rammed the letter into her coat pocket and started walking as quickly as she could towards the boundary. She'd take one lap of the park and then analyse whether she was calm enough to face Charlotte.
"Lizzie!" Charlotte came hurrying out as Elizabeth let herself in the gate. "Lizzie, where have you been?"
"I went walking, and now I am going to bed."
"But Lizzie..." Charlotte shook her head. "The Colonel and Mr. Darcy came an hour ago to say good-bye. Mr. Darcy only stayed about five minutes, but the Colonel waited a full half-hour for you."
"Is that so...well I'm sorry to have missed them, but I really need to sleep Charlotte."
"Sleep well Lizzie."
"I will." Elizabeth hastened into the house, thankful she had gotten off so lightly, Charlotte was at times annoyingly inquisitive. She closed her door behind herself and threw her coat and hat a cross the room. The letter was buried in the bottom of her bag and then Elizabeth finally crashed on her bed and fell asleep.