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Volume 2: Hertfordshire

Ch 14: Faithful are the wounds of a friend

Posted on 2010-10-10

The young woman finally paused to rest from her long walk up to the hilltop that overlooked her family's estate. It all looks so peaceful from here. She sighed, lifting her gloved hands to rub at her throbbing temples. So quiet. I need this! Oh, if I could only stay a bit longer! But no, Mama will be in a dither if she finds me away for more than an hour. Why must she carry on so?

With definite discontent, she settled herself on a fallen log that she often commandeered for her repose. Below, she could see a row of carriages making their way from Netherfield Park. "Go, go, I wish you had never come. How much easier my day would be if you had never arrived," she murmured bitterly, her deepening scowl intensifying her headache. "I wonder how long it will be before new residents take over that property. I wish no ill on Mr. Bascomb, but I would rejoice if he was unable to find anyone for quite some time. Whoever takes Netherfield, they can only mean more trouble for me."
 
She thought back to the humiliating conversation she had shared with Mr. Carver just before the family announced they were taking their leave.
 
It began innocently enough; she had come to call on his younger sisters, Rachel and Martha, as she did regularly. Two nights previous to her visit, the Carvers had hosted a ball at Netherfield. At the girl's insistence, Elizabeth had promised to call on them to chat about it that morning. However, when she arrived, she was unexpectedly ushered into Mr. Carver's study.
 
"Miss Elizabeth," he began seriously, a stern expression in his dark eyes.
 
Concerned, she curtsied. "Mr. Carver. Forgive me, sir, you look quite concerned. Is there something wrong with your sisters?"
 
The gentleman took a long time responding. "It is difficult to answer your question. They are both well. That is to say, their health is good."
 
"But something is obviously not right, sir. Pray tell me what is wrong?" Her eyes narrowed as she regarded the somewhat stocky gentleman. Clearly, something is troubling him, but I cannot make it out. This does not fit his character as I know it.
 
Carver walked from behind his desk to pace the room. "I must simply get to the point, Miss Elizabeth. I find I am not good at social delicacies." He paused to look seriously at his guest, drawing a deep breath as if to steel himself against something unpleasant. "I cannot allow my sisters to continue your acquaintance any longer." There I have said it. There should be no further conversation. I had no wish to cause her pain, but it was mercifully dealt and I hope it will be of brief duration.
 
For a long moment, Elizabeth only looked at him in shock, her expressive eyes growing wide. "Excuse me, sir, I do not think I understand you." She clenched her gloved hands together firmly.
 
"I believe you heard me well enough. I cannot permit my sisters to associate with you or your family any longer. Good day, madam." Carver turned his back on her rudely. I hope she will just leave! I have no wish to further discuss my decision. It is bad enough I am forced to make this decision, do not push to speak more of it!
 
"Is this all the explanation I am to expect? With so little attempt at civility I am turned out of your home, when just two days ago my family and I were treated as welcomed guests at your ball. You paid great attention to my sister Jane and gave every appearance of a man well pleased with his company. You even danced two sets with me. Do, sir, explain this change of heart." She stood facing him defiantly, setting her jaw firmly.
 
Slowly turning to face her once more, his dark eyes regarded her with thinly veiled judgment and contempt. Impertinent! Ill-mannered! Inconvenient… No! I cannot lie, it is not her, but her family. She is offended and angry right now. I can hardly fault her for that. This entire scene would be offensive to any person of sense,
 
"Do not try to frighten me, Mr. Carver. My courage rises with every attempt to intimidate me."
 
"You are forcing me into a very ungentlemanly conversation, Miss Bennet," he continued, his voice somewhat softened,
 
"I beg your pardon, but, as yet, there has been nothing gentlemanly about any of this conversation," she remarked tersely, crossing her lithe arms over her chest. "I insist on your explanation, sir. You have insulted my sisters, my parents and myself, you can hardly expect me to leave without satisfaction."
 
With a heavy sigh, he turned away from her to gaze out the window. His voice softened further, "I mean no offense to you or your eldest sister. Where ever you go, you and Miss Bennet will be recognized for your lady-like manners and good sense."
 
Elizabeth did not reply as she felt the tension creep up the back of her neck.
 
Reluctantly, Carver turned to look at her again. "Surely you cannot be unaware of the complete want of propriety demonstrated by your younger sisters, your mother, and even your father."
 
"How dare you cast judgment on us, sir!" she exclaimed, a hot flush rising on her cheeks. "By what authority have you been made the paragon of such virtue that you are right to cast such verdicts?"
 
"You mean to tell me that you approve of your sisters cavorting so indecently with the officers Colonel Forster has foisted on our community?" Contempt filled his voice. I do not want my family exposed to that rabble! Even his officers are coarse and unmannerly.
 
"Certainly they are high spirited, but to call them indecent is well beyond the bound of reason," she spat back, even as pictures of Kitty and Lydia's flirtations flashed through her mind. They were certainly merry the night of the ball. I would have preferred that they showed less exuberance, but to call them indecent! That is going too far.
 
"On that point, we will have to disagree. I would be ashamed to see my younger sisters behaving so boldly in public. The fact that you are not, troubles me." Which is why I must make this wholly unpopular decision.
 
Elizabeth's brown eyes grew wide at his censure, a crimson blush flooding her cheeks.
 
"I imagine you would likewise condone your mother's loud declarations of the certainty of a match between your eldest sister and myself?" He extended his open hands in frustration. Clearly dismayed by this conversation. The audacity of that woman! Insufferable harridan. Who would want to make a match, knowing that she came as part of the bargain?
 
At this accusation, Elizabeth swallowed hard. "Did you not give my sister reason to expect your continued attentions?"
 
"I believe that is a private matter, not one to be publicized and cast about to the community for speculation; or worse to have my hand forced by their expectations. I will not be the prey of a fortune hunter!" Heavy hands slammed down on the desk making his listener jump back, surprised.
 
"Are you calling my sister a fortune hunter?" Outrage replaced the embarrassment on her face as her hands flew to her hips.
 
Carver's shoulders fell. "Your sister is all that is good and proper and lady-like. I said that before. I have no censure for her. She is a beautiful, sweet girl."
 
Lizzy sighed in relief.At least we can agree on that point.
 
"Your mother, on the other hand, bears so little similarity to you and your sister that one might wonder if you were left on her doorstep by gypsies."
 
Elizabeth gasped, her small hands balled into fists at her waist. Certainly you did not say such a thing! I was mistaken to ever think you a gentleman!
 
"And your father! Let me not begin to recount to you how he has failed in his patriarchal duties to your family. It is truly abominable…"
 
"How dare you criticize my father when you have no children of your own. What do you know of how a man should behave with his family? You have none!" Now you have gone entirely too far!
 
Carver's dark eyes rolled, finally focusing on the ornate ceiling mouldings. "I should think that when I do, I would not be one to stand back and watch, laughing as my wife and daughters conduct themselves so…so… badly in public. Can you deny that your father made no effort to curb them, as is his responsibility?"
 
"What would you have him do, sir? Make a public spectacle? Moreover, how dare you presume…"
 
"Miss Elizabeth!" he interrupted, his shoulders sagging as he retreated behind his desk, the weight of his words falling heavily on him. "Do not think I enjoy saying these things. But the difficulty of the conversation does not make it less true." With a look of real regret, he continued, "In truth, I have enjoyed my acquaintance with Miss Bennet, very greatly. My sisters have been pleased to have your company. But I am afraid our acquaintance must be at an end.
 
"I cannot risk exposing my sisters to the example set by the rest of your family. Just last night, I overheard Rachel telling Martha that she wished to join your younger sisters on a trip to Meryton -- expressly to meet with the officers out of my sight!" Carver sighed in exasperation, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I cannot abide by such rebellion in my family. I would be failing in my duties to them to continue allowing them to be exposed to such influence."
 
Elizabeth bit her lip, unable to defend her younger sisters, but neither able to agree with Carver's harsh words.
 
"I am sorry, but I must be mindful of their futures. My father only recently purchased his estate, and I am now looking into doing the same. Our acceptance into good society depends on so many factors. My father sent my sisters to me in an effort to expose them to a society that might be more forgiving than the London Ton before they make their introductions there. Their behavior must be above reproach if we are to be well received. I cannot risk their futures by allowing them to follow your younger sisters' example. I am sorry, but it must be so. Good day, Miss Bennet."
 
Quivering with emotions that ran from rage to acute embarrassment, Elizabeth turned on her heel and showed herself to the door.
 
Even now, she felt the hot tears of anger and humiliation coursing down her cheeks. "Oh bother!" she exclaimed, brushing them brusquely away. "I cannot return to the house in such a state. Mama will demand an explanation. How very much I must conceal. I can only imagine what her nerves would be like if she ever knew what had been said!"
 
Agitated, she began to walk once again, heading for an inviting grove of trees.
 
I would feel so much better if I could have argued with him, if I could have denied the truth of what he said. Yet I cannot.
 
Jane and I have often spoken of how much we wish Kitty and Lydia to be more demure in company. I had no idea that people might think them indecent. But perhaps they are not. They cannot be that bad, can they? I must ask Charlotte.
 
I know Mama can be excitable, but anyone who knows her realizes that it is her poor nerves getting the better of her. Surely the mother of five daughters can be excused for that, can she not? The four and twenty families we keep company with seem to believe so. Do they not? I have never thought overmuch about the perceptions of our neighbors, for they never seem out of sorts with Mama.
 
She scowled pensively, chewing her lower lip. Certainly he had no right to criticize Papa so! How differently would Mr. Carver handle his own affairs? With a harrumph, she crossed her arms over her chest. Presently she sighed as her stance softened. Yet, removing them from our acquaintance is very telling. I suppose his is handling his affairs differently, is he not? Sadly she dropped her face into her hands. I am so humiliated.

Elizabeth finally returned to the house to find her mother sitting at the window, looking balefully at the road on which the Carvers passed earlier that day.
 
"What do you make of this strange business of the Carvers, Lizzy?" Mrs. Bennet moaned, fanning herself with her handkerchief.
 
"He is a wealthy man exercising the privilege of wealth. Such men can follow their whims of pleasure with little concern for how their caprice should affect the neighborhood," she replied tersely, avoiding her mother's eyes. Or how their harsh words impact another person…no I must not think on that now or I will betray myself to her!
 
"Indeed, indeed. We had such great hopes for him. It would have been such a smart match for our Jane. He paid her such attentions! My dear girl!" She dabbed at her eyes with the embroidered linen. "What a good influence she would have been on his sisters, Lizzy! She could have brought Kitty and Lydia into their circle, and they would have been much brighter and more personable girls. As it was they were so stiff and formal, no liveliness among them. How could they possibly think they would attract husbands without even a pretty smile between them?"
 
Elizabeth winced and bit her lip. What would you say if you knew how much he disagreed with you? I can only imagine the offense you would take, Mama. No, you do not need to know.
 
Wringing her handkerchief in nervous hands, her mother continued, "But it is all for nothing, now that he has just up and gone. Who can fathom their departure? I will always say he used my dear girl very ill indeed. She is left with a broken heart."
 
"Is Jane so affected?" If she knew what had been said she surely would be broken hearted, but not for the reasons you believe. She cannot bear to hear anyone criticized, her own family most of all. She thinks the best of everyone, if only others might learn that lesson from her.
 
"She bears it well. She is all that is good, is she not? But her mother knows what she must suffer. Oh, I know! She grieves for us all, Lizzy. She knows what has been lost with the Carvers. She realizes all too well what we all will suffer when your father dies and we are turned out in the hedgerows! If only we had produced a son!
 
"She would not be so beautiful but that she is to marry well and save us all! She has failed us by not securing Mr. Carver. Do you not see?" Her eyes grew wide as she turned to her second daughter and laid a restraining hand on the girl's forearm. "Do not speak to her of it. There is no need to make her feel worse than she already does. She suffers so!" Blowing her nose noisily, she turned her attention to the window once more.
 
Lizzy sighed, not knowing what else to say. Her momentary repose was broken by the high-pitched shriek that could only belong to her fourth sister, Kitty. "Lydia! Give me back my bonnet!" One set of pounding feet flew down the stairs, followed by another.
 
Lydia burst into the drawing room, bonnet in her hand and her long dark curls flying behind her. "Mama! Mama!"
 
"The bonnet is mine, Mama! Make her give it back," Kitty demanded petulantly. She stamped her foot and crossed her arms, pulling her shoulders high around her ears.
 
"She has never worn it!" Lydia countered with a narrow eyed glare toward Kitty. "I will pull it to pieces and make something much better."
 
"Of course you will, dear. You have such lovely, refined tastes." Mrs. Bennet patted her favorite's arm.
 
"Mama, that is not fair!" Kitty stamped again and shook her fists in anger. "You should not let her have it for it is mine!"
 
With a heavy sigh, Lizzy pushed herself up to leave her mother and sisters to their own quarrels. The headache that had begun earlier now blossomed into full force throbbing. She sighed sadly as she passed the closed door of her father's library, certain that he was ensconced within. How I could use your quiet company right now, Papa.
 
Slowly her feet carried her upstairs to the sitting room she shared with her eldest sister. Pausing at the doorway, Lizzy watched the serene young woman who sat placidly on the couch, carefully positioned to make the most of the morning light. The plodding sounds of Mary on the pianoforte broke through the tranquility of the moment, causing Jane to look up and notice her pensive sister.
 
"Oh Lizzy! You look so troubled. Are you all right?" The blonde beauty laid aside her needlework to rush to her sister's side. "Come sit down!" What has happened Lizzy? You do not look like yourself at all.
 
Lizzy allowed herself to be led to a slightly worn blue brocade chair.
 
"Headache?"
 
"Oh Jane!" She sighed, pressing her temples hard. "I do not need one of Mary's concertos now!"
 
"You are too harsh on her, dearest," Jane softly admonished. "Have you not noticed she plays most often when Lyddie and Kitty are fighting? I believe their quarreling disturbs her. She is trying to drown out the sound."
 
"You are too sweet! It seems to me that she is seeking to have her own voice heard above the din." She laughed ruefully. "Forgive me, Jane, for that was truly ungracious. This headache seems to have stolen my good humor. I should not have spoken so of our sister." Hanging her head, she squeezed her temples hard.
 
"You really should take time to talk with Mary." Jane returned to her seat and picked up her needlework once more.
 
"She is forever sermonizing! I have little interest in listening to her quote Fordyce!" Lizzy looked up with exasperation.
 
"There is much more to her than that. She truly has much more insight than any of us give her credit for. Ouch!" Jane winced and shook her hand as she mistakenly jabbed herself with her needle.
 
"Really Jane?"
 
"Yes! It is not merely sermonizing, Lizzy. If you take the opportunity to actually speak with her, you would find her understanding is every bit as good as yours. She is just shy, and neither papa nor mama encourages her. It is difficult for her to make herself heard. Mary would benefit so much if you would spend some time with her. She admires you so." We all do. How I wish I had your strength. Jane turned her earnest blue eyes on her sister. "I have upset you. I am sorry. I suppose I am not myself today either." Sadly she rose and peeked out the window.
 
Immediately Elizabeth joined her sister, laying a warm hand on Jane's arm. "The Carvers?" Is it possible you are as broken-hearted as Mama believes? You of all of us do not deserve such heartache.
 
Somberly she nodded.
 
"I know you enjoyed your acquaintance with him. You always smiled so whenever you saw him. Did you truly prefer him above any of the others who have sought your attentions?" Lizzy struggled to catch her sister's eye.
 
"I do not know. Does that surprise you?" Timidly she allowed her sister's dark eyes to hold hers. Do you think me a fool, dearest Lizzy?
 
"I suppose it would be difficult to know your own heart above our mother's flutterings and declarations about how much you must like him because of his wealth." Tenderly she brushed a stray lock away from Jane's face.
 
With a soft, sad laugh she nodded. "Sometimes I do not know. How many times has our mother said that I could not be so beautiful for nothing? She insists that I will be the one to save us all by marrying well." Would that I not have to carry such a burden for us all.
 
"With such pressures, you can hardly know how you feel, can you?" Lizzy sighed wearily. "I am sorry. It is not fair to you. I wish…"
 
"There is nothing you can do for it. Mama is just afraid. She wants the best for us, and is seeking it in the only way she knows how." Squaring her shoulders and lifting her chin, Jane drew a deep breath. "It will all work out for the best, Lizzy. I know it will. Things will turn out as they should. We must leave it in God's hands for we know that He is good."
 
"I wish I had your faith. Right now, it seems as though nothing is as it should be. Perhaps I should go and rest, I am sounding morose even to my own ears!" I know Jane is correct, I just wish it was it did not all feel so wrong right now. Slowly she turned from her sister to seek refuge in her own room, the din of the pianoforte mixed with strident voices still filling the air.
 
Closing the door behind her, Elizabeth sat on her bed thoughtfully. I think I should write my aunt. She has always given me such wise counsel. I need her voice right now. Turning to a small writing desk, Lizzy sat down and prepared to write her letter.

Ch 15:Blessed is he who is kind to the needy
 
Her headache gone and her letter written, Lizzy felt decidedly hungry. The strident voices of her sisters had silenced, as had Mary's pianoforte practice. It is so peaceful. Perhaps even Papa has ventured out of his bookroom. She smiled to herself as she descended the stairs and made her way to the drawing room.
 
Peering inside, she watched her father serving himself a plate of cold meat and breads from the sideboard where the servants had laid their luncheon. Strangely, neither her mother nor her sisters were in attendance with him.
 
"Good afternoon, Papa." Lizzy smiled as she stepped lightly to his side and kissed his cheek.
 
"Good afternoon to you, Lizzy dear." He looked appraisingly at his daughter. When did she become such a beautiful young woman? Her mother makes much of Jane's looks, but my Lizzy has such life in her eyes. "I trust you have found some relief for your headache. You were sorely missed at breakfast."
 
Laughing lightly as she served herself, she replied, "I fear what you mean to say is that you missed your ally in 'sensible' conversation." She took a seat near her father. "So where have my mother and sisters gone that we should have the drawing room to ourselves?"
 
"Well, I am afraid that the departure of the Carvers has left your mother with a great many tremblings and flutterings that can only be soothed by visiting with your Aunt Phillips. Kitty and Lydia have accompanied her with high hopes of sighting an officer or two while there." He smiled wryly as he reached for his glass.
 
Lizzy could not help but wince at the mention of officers, Carver's words still too fresh in her mind to be ignored. "And Mary chose not to keep their company?"
 
"No, I did not," a small but firm voice declared from the doorway. Slowly, Mary made her way into the room to serve herself from the sideboard.
 
Mindful of Jane's admonition, Lizzy bit her tongue and asked, "What would keep you home on such a lovely day? Did not you say yesterday that you wished to make a trip to the circulating library in town?"
 
Mary paused and looked at her sister, a puzzled expression on her face. I hardly thought anyone listening to me then. Quietly, she sat opposite her sister. "They went into town in search of gossip and officers," she murmured softly, staring down at her plate, blushing hotly.
 
The elder girl stared at the younger, surprised to see the red flush on her cheeks. She blushes for them! She does not speak in judgment of them, but it is clear she is uneasy with their behavior. Is it possible that I have been overlooking…
 
"You do not seem to approve, Mary." Mr. Bennet challenged flatly in a tone suggesting that he did not expect his middle child to offer any argument of worth.
 
Lizzy saw her sister's shoulders slump at the quiet slight. It is almost as if she hoped Papa might listen to her. She does look disheartened. Perhaps Jane is correct, I have paid her far too little attention.
 
"Is it not taught that the loss of virtue in a female is irretrievable -- that one false step involves her in endless ruin -- that her reputation is no less brittle than it is beautiful, -- and that she cannot be too much guarded in her behaviour towards the undeserving of the other sex?'' Mary timidly offered, shrinking further into her chair.
 
"So then, you are afraid that your sisters' virtue will be ruined by their silly flirtations is town?" Mr. Bennet laughed softly at first, then more heartily. "Where ever they are known, your sisters will be recognized as the silliest girls in England. That is true." Finished with his meal, he rose to lay his empty plate aside. "But I think it is a far cry from silliness to ruination! For what do we live, but to make sport for our neighbours, and laugh at them in our turn? Do not make more of this than there actually is. Good day, Lizzy, Mary." He nodded to his daughters in turn and left the room.
 
Mary followed her father with her eyes, but said nothing. With a sad sigh, she returned to her meal.
 
The silence in the room grew loud, until finally Lizzy had to end it. "You fear for them?" she whispered, chancing a glance at her sister.
 
Startled by the question, Mary's dark eyes fixed on her sister's face. Is she mocking me as Papa does? She is so like him, I am never quite certain. No, there is an odd look in her eyes, perhaps she is asking my opinion. Carefully, she answered, "I do, Lizzy. I am afraid for them and of what others are saying about them."
 
"What is being said?" Without thinking about it, Lizzy reached to lay her hand over Mary's, squeezing reassuringly.
 
Swallowing hard, her dark eyes darted about the room uneasily. "You know I do not like gossip, but…" Mary bit her lip anxiously, "…in the circulation library, I have heard them talked about by ladies who did not even know I was there to hear them." I wonder why you are taking notice of me right now. "No, Lizzy, do not ask me who they were, it does not matter. But the things they said! They were awful! They said they would not allow Kitty or Lydia to ever call on their daughters, that they were disgraceful and even indecent! I thought I should die of embarrassment when I heard it!" Tears glittered in her eyes, several trickling silent down her freckled cheeks.
 
Who among our neighbors have our sisters said is regularly not home when they come to call? "Mary, I had no idea. I… I do not know what to say." Lizzy paused. How is it that I feel as though I barely know you? "What say you we get our bonnets and make a trip into town ourselves. Perhaps we can console ourselves with sisterly affection as we make our way to the library?"
 
"I would like that very much." Mary nodded, a shy smiling blossoming.
 
The two girls made quick work of preparing themselves for their outing. As they walked, they spoke quietly, Lizzy listening more than talking. I cannot believe how thoughtful Mary is. I truly believed all she ever read was Fordyce and sermons. But it seems she is a great reader and takes delight in many things. I believe she only quotes Fordyce to test and see if her audience will really listen. She is far more clever than I imagined. A wry smile lit her face as she realized perhaps she had another friend to be counted among her sisters after all.
 
About a mile from town, they encountered Charlotte and Maria Lucas just leaving Lucas Lodge. They appeared to be struggling with a heavy basket between them. The two girls hurried to their friends.
 
"Here, Maria, let me help you." Lizzy quickly took Maria's end of the basket.
 
"Thank you ever so much, Lizzy!" Maria panted, releasing the basket into her care.
 
"What are you carrying?" Mary wondered aloud, peering into the basket. "Are you taking something into town?"
 
"Oh no, we are not taking this to town," Maria quickly responded, casting a small scowl at her sister.
 
"This is for one of the Netherfield tenants," Charlotte explained ignoring Maria's taunt.
 
"Really? I had not heard anything was amiss." Mary's attention was suddenly fixed on the older girl. Quickly she moved to help with the basket.
 
With a sigh and a frown, Charlotte began to explain. "My mother is quite satisfied in merely being Lady Lucas in all respects but one. She misses the opportunity that having tenants would afford her for works of charity. When my father kept shop, she always looked after his employees. Now, she takes it upon herself to keep abreast of the needs of the less well attended of our neighbors."
 
"She means the tenants of Netherfield," Maria interjected tartly.
 
Charlotte continued, taking no notice of Maria's untoward remark, "Mrs. Black is very ill right now, and her older daughter is not more than seven years old. Her mother is staying with them to help out, but that means another mouth for them to feed, and last year's harvest was not a good one for Netherfield Park."
 
"Mr. Bascomb is a most neglectful landlord, if you ask me," declared Maria with a flip of her bonnet's ribbons.
 
"Maria!" her sister rebuked sharply, glaring fiercely at her younger sister. How can you embarrass me so in front of my friends?
 
"You cannot tell me you feel any differently," she protested with an eye rolling expression reminiscent of Lydia. "He is never here, and has no concern for the welfare of his tenants." She pursed her lips, pouting at her sister.
 
"Just because you have thought something does not give you leave to say it," Charlotte hissed. "Show some decorum, Maria!"
 
Folding her arms across her chest, Maria continued scoldingly, "But no one thinks well of Mr. Bascomb. Mrs. Lawton said she thought there was no Mrs. Bascomb because…"
 
"Maria," Mary gently cut in, her own cheeks flushing at the young woman's words. "It does not do to gossip. Did you not hear Mr. Early's sermon last Sunday?"
 
Looking down, Maria conceded, "He was ever so severe about that, was he not?"
 
Perhaps she will listen. Lizzy listened to me today, perhaps… "Yes he was." Mary timidly glanced over to Lizzy to gauge her sister's reaction. The smile and sparkle in her sister's dark eyes encouraged her. "Gossip is not a fitting pursuit for a lady. How is it good that we should entertain ourselves and others by speaking ill of those who are not there to defend themselves?"
 
"Oh Mary! I do not want another sermon." Maria stamped her foot, much as Kitty had earlier in the day. "Leave that for the curate on Sunday!"
 
Perhaps not. Mary's face fell, her shoulders sagged sadly as she retreated into the familiar shell that everyone was accustomed to.
 
Lizzy blanched. Oh my goodness! How like my sisters she is! Mr. Carver was concerned that Kitty and Lydia would influence his sisters. Have they already influenced Charlotte's? She bit her lip as her brows knit. Poor Mary, Maria's cut seems to have truly injured her. How many times has she been cut so, and I have just ignored it? How negligent have I been toward her?
 
"There is little enough harm in such idle talk. I am quite certain that they must speak about us just as much as we do them. I do not see the mischief in it all." Maria pouted for a moment. "Oh, Charlotte, I did so wish to go to town today. I was to meet Kitty and Lydia there. Now that Mary and Lizzy are here, perhaps they can help you on your errand, for you know I am no good in a sick room."
 
"I am quite certain they have their own business in Meryton…" Charlotte looked pleadingly at her friend, begging silent apologies for her sister's ill manners.
 
"We were only going to the library, Charlotte," Lizzy exchanged a knowing glance with her younger sister. "But we can easily do that tomorrow. We should enjoy a visit to see Mrs. Black."
 
"Thank you ever so much, Lizzy!" Maria gushed, impulsively clapping her gloved hands together. "Tell mama that I have gone to town, Charlotte," she called over her shoulder as she hurried away.
 
Silently they watched her go.
 
"Lizzy, Mary, I must apologize for her thoughtlessness. It was quite uncalled for." Charlotte frowned, adjusting her grip on the basket. Slowly they started toward Netherfield Park.
 
"It is nothing; do not be concerned," Mary whispered, as though afraid to speak louder. She and my sisters always treat me thus, why should I make an issue of it now?
 
For a long time, no one spoke. Finally, Lizzy broke the silence "You seem troubled, Charlotte. What is wrong? Surely you are not still brooding over your sister?"
 
With a sad laugh, Charlotte looked at her friend. "It is ironic that we were just speaking of the evils of gossip, when that is precisely what is troubling me."
 
"How so?" Lizzy pursed her lips together hard, concerned what her friend would say next.
 
"You know, I am sure, that the Carvers left today."
 
The Bennet sisters nodded. "Mama is an excessively attentive neighbor, Charlotte, she could hardly fail to alert the entire household of the event." Lizzy laughed softly. The other two girls laughed with her at the gentle tease.
 
"Since Mr. Carver paid me little attention, I can hardly be upset by their leaving, although his sisters were sweet girls," Miss Lucas continued, a wry smile lifting her lips. "However…" She swallowed hard, the lightness leaving her voice. "However, I have heard tell of why his family quit Netherfield, and that does trouble me."
 
Oh no! The servants must have heard his speech to me and begun to spread it through town. Jane will be mortified to hear our family so disparaged! On no! Lydia and Kitty are in town. What a scene they will cause when they hear, I cannot think…
 
"It is being said…" Charlotte sighed as she bit her lip. "There are those who say that Mr. Carver declared the society in Meryton something savage and felt that his sisters were materially damaged by their acquaintances here."
 
"Oh no!" Mary gasped, blushing. Kitty and Lydia often went to call upon his sisters. How many times did Lydia pine that Mr. Carver was so stiff and droll? Surely it must have been them he sought to censure. How humiliating, and how terrible for Jane! "What a very harsh judgment upon our neighborhood."
 
"It is indeed, Mary. I fear that the judgment may be far more personal than that," Miss Lucas continued sadly. "I hope it is not untoward of me to say so, but I fear that his concerns may have been directed at Maria."
 
"Maria?" the Bennet sisters exclaimed simultaneously, exchanging startled looks.
 
Charlotte lifted her head sharply, cocking it quizzically. "Yes, Maria." Her grey eyes flickered from Lizzy to Mary and back again. "You cannot tell me you have not noticed."
 
"Noticed what, Charlotte?" Lizzy paused a moment to switch her hands on the heavy basket.
 
"Yes, it seems she is much as she has ever been." Mary kept her eyes down on the basket. How can she possibly think Maria could cause such a scandal when Kitty and Lydia are about?
 
"You are both far too kind. Perhaps you have been spending too much time with Jane, for she never sees anything wrong with anyone!" A vague note of cynicism filtered through Charlotte's tired laughter. "I mean no disparagement upon your sister really, but it would take someone of Jane's saintly disposition not to note the change in my sister." Sighing, she signaled her friends to set the basket down near a fallen log at the side of the road. "Here, let us rest a moment. My arms are aching."
 
"Thank you for that!" Lizzy stretched in a decidedly ungraceful fashion.
 
"Truly, you have not noticed Maria has been behaving differently lately?" Charlotte brushed stray locks of her straight brown hair from her face. Both her friends shook their heads. "Ever since the regiment has come into town, she has been so…"
 
"Lively?" Lizzy offered hopefully.
 
Charlotte rolled her eyes, "She is far beyond lively! Perhaps boisterous would be a better description, and certainly flirtatious! She can hardly speak of anything else but the officers. I can no longer check her energies." She pinched the bridge of her nose hard. "I dread the thought, but I feel like I have little choice right now."
 
"What do you mean to do?" Lizzy sat gingerly beside her friend, peering into her face.
 
"I do not know what else to do. I think I must sit down and have a very painful discussion with my mother. But how am I to tell her that I fear it was my sister that drove our neighbors away with her indecent behavior?!" She dropped her head into her hands. My own prospects are meager enough without Maria's outlandish behaviour to further diminish them.
 
How indeed? Is not that the very conversation I have been hoping to avoid as well? How is it that you, my friend, have so much more courage than I? But your mother does not have the nerves that our mother does, and your father, though indolent toward all things related to business, is much more energetic in regulating his family. Perhaps they might benefit… what am I thinking! It was my sisters who drove our neighbors away, not yours! You are not the one who needs to have such a conversation. I do!
 
Kindly, Mary laid her hand on her friend's shoulder. "Such news must always be difficult to bring to those who do not wish to hear it."
 
"What will you tell Lady Lucas?" Lizzy finally asked.
 
"I do not know. I truly do not know. It is not the conversation that a daughter is supposed to have with her mother. Quite singular, is it not? She should be admonishing me, not I her!" She looked up from her hands, unhappiness clear in her eyes.
 
"Have you thought that perhaps your sister is not the one whom Mr. Carver found so objectionable?" Lizzy glanced tentatively at Mary, who dropped her eyes, embarrassed.
 
"But who else could it be?" I know your sisters are much as Maria, is, but we are not the lovely Bennet sisters, always welcome wherever we go. It is the plain Lucas sisters who must be so much more concerned with decorum, for we have not your prettiness with which to beg forgiveness. "Is it not enough that her behavior could earn her such censure, whether or not she was indeed the cause?" Brusquely she wiped away the tears that trickled down her cheeks.
 
"Oh, Charlotte. I am so sorry." Lizzy laid her arm over her friend's shoulder.
 
Drawing a deep breath and squaring her shoulders, Miss Lucas straightened herself. "It is well, Lizzy. You do not have to worry on my account. It is well. Let us continue to the Black's."
 
The three young women made their way quickly to the small cottage on the edge of the Netherfield estate. Charlotte rapped sharply at the door. Moments later, they were greeted by an unfamiliar old woman.
 
"What business be ya 'avin' 'ere? Is one o' ya' da' Netherfiel' mistress?" Hunched over as she was, the old woman had to look up into the girls' faces.
 
"No ma'am," Charlotte quickly explained. "I am Miss Lucas, Lady Lucas' daughter. She was here to see you yesterday. These are my friends from Longbourn, Miss Elizabeth Bennet and Miss Mary Bennet."
 
The Bennet sisters curtsied in greeting.
 
"My mother has sent us with a basket for your daughter, Mrs. Black."
 
"Ah, yes, yes. Me Millie tol' me ta be 'spectin' ya." The old woman ushered them into the tiny, cramped cottage.
As they entered, all could easily see that the cottage was in poor condition. The roof, the door and chimney all were clearly in need of repair.
 
Winter must truly be wretched in this place. Lizzy's quickly scanned the small space. How much difference an attentive and proper master, or mistress, could make in their lives, even if only the minimum necessary were done.
 
"I be glad ta 'ear dat none o' ya be da mistress 'ere. 'e's a right miserly landlord, I say, an' 'e don't be deservin' a pretty girl da likes o' ya all." Millie's mother grumbled as she led them to her daughter lying prone on a pallet near the fireplace. The woman was clearly ill, pale, and coughing weakly, quite possibly feverish as well.
 
Charlotte dropped to her knees near the woman and spoke softly, "Mrs. Black, I have brought the things my mother promised yesterday. I have the herbs to make you some tea to improve your cough. May I brew some for you?" She had to lean close to the woman to hear her whispered affirmative. "I have also brought bread and soup, some preserves, vegetables, and a bit of pork. Mama sent a blanket for you as well. She is certain we will yet have a chilling rain this week."
 
Efficiently, Charlotte took charge of the situation, directing her willing assistants in fetching water, tidying the cottage, bringing in firewood and other small tasks that would ease the old woman's burden in caring for her daughter and her family. Soon the tea had steeped and Charlotte gave both women instruction in its administration.
 
"Mama asked me to tell you that she would come by in a day or so to check on you and bring you more herbs. If you should need anything in the meantime, send one of the children to call at Lucas Lodge. The housekeeper has been told to watch for them." Charlotte smiled as she allowed the old woman to see them to the door.
 
"Thank ya kindly for all ya done today. Ya all be right fine young ladies, ya know, right fine." A mostly toothless smile punctuated the soft words.
 
The elderly woman's praise, humble yet heartfelt, soothed Lizzy's ragged nerves. The three girls walked in silence for several minutes.
 
"Charlotte," Mary began softly, "when you go to call on them again, may I come too?"
 
"And me," Lizzy quickly added.
 
"I would be happy for your company. Maria does so hate calls such as these." Charlotte shook her head at the thought of her younger sister. "Do you often accompany your mother when she pays calls to the tenants of Longbourn?" That was ungracious of me. I know very well she does not call upon her tenants. I should not have taunted Lizzy so.
 
"No, not often," Lizzy replied diplomatically.
 
Not ever. Mary raised an eyebrow at her sister.
 
"I think though, I shall ask her if I may call with her in the future. I find I rather like making myself useful much better than embroidering another handkerchief." Lizzy laughed self-deprecatingly.
 
"Perhaps that is because you embroider so ill," Charlotte teased, "surely, many things are more pleasant than an afternoon spent stabbing your fingers with a needle."
 
"Indeed, Charlotte." Lizzy glanced at her sister, who seemed unaware of the good-natured exchange. "You seem thoughtful, Mary."
 
Timidly, the younger girl smiled. "I suppose I am. I have read many sermons that remind us that the Good Book says 'blessed is he who is kind to the needy.'* Therefore, I have known it to be true. But today, I think I understand it for the first time." Lost in her thoughts, Mary failed to notice her sister staring at her with a new respect in her eyes.
 
 

*PR 14:21

Ch 16: Each heart knows its own bitterness

Posted on 2010-10-18

The quietness of the house surprised Lizzy as she and Mary returned from their outing. A quick consultation with Hill revealed that Mrs. Bennet had found her own excursion far too taxing and had returned to her rooms to calm her nervous agitations. Lydia and Kitty were occupied finding uses for the new ribbons and lace they had brought back from town. So, for the moment, peace reigned. Lizzy breathed a silent prayer of thanks, too many difficult thoughts filled her mind and she craved the quiet.
 
"It is good to see you all returned," her father's voice at her elbow startled her. "I am surprised, Mary, to see no new books under your arm today. Has our little library so soon lost its appeal to you? Have they run out of sermons already?" A heavy eyebrow lifted as he cocked his head teasingly.
 
"No, Papa," Mary answered, her face flushing hotly. "We…we did not actually make it to the library."
 
"Oh ho! Did not make it to the library, eh!" A knowing glint appeared in his grey eyes. "Do not tell me that you, too, have succumbed to the lure of a red coat!" He laughed heartily. Silly girls! Although I had thought Lizzy would have had more sense. "And only this morning you seemed so set against such diversions! I will say…"

"Papa!" Lizzy exclaimed, a surprising sharpness in her tone. Immediately regretting it, she softened her voice to continue, "Papa, we never made it into Meryton, so there were indeed no officers for us."
 
"Did not get into town, you say?" Shaggy grey brows rose higher on his forehead. "So then, where did you go? I am intrigued." He stroked his chin thoughtfully.Now that sounds much more like my daughter.
 
"We encountered Charlotte Lucas on the way." Lizzy glanced at Mary, hoping to relieve some of her sister's discomfiture.
 
"She was on her way to call on Mrs. Black. We joined her." Mary timidly raised her eyes to her sister rather than her father. Does he not frighten you with his questioning? I never know how to answer him.
 
"Mrs. Black?" Mr. Bennet's brows furrowed, perplexed. "Mrs. Black? I am afraid I do not know the name. I do not believe she is someone your mother calls upon, for I know all of them and most of their relations, near and far come to think of it. Pray tell, who is she?"
 
"She is the wife of one of Netherfield's cottagers, sir." Mary chewed her lip uneasily.
 
"How very singular!" Mr. Bennet exclaimed pulling himself up into a more imposing posture. "A tenant of Netherfield? Why would Miss Lucas be calling upon her?" He tucked the book he carried under his arm to cross his arms over his chest and looked down on his daughters, mild disapproval in his eyes.
 
"She was visiting on her mother's behalf," Mary stammered, clearly unnerved by the questioning. He thinks me a fool.
 
"My question stands, what business does Lady Lucas have with a cottager on an estate not her own? Lizzy, perhaps you can enlighten me." What have you been doing? I am not certain I can approve this. To visit such people? It cannot be safe for them!
 
Lizzy suppressed her frown as she saw the familiar hurt look in her sister's eyes. "Mrs. Black is very ill, Papa. With no master or mistress in residence, Netherfield has no one to look after the tenants. Lady Lucas has taken it upon herself to care for them. Charlotte was bringing a basket to the cottage. We went to help her, for it was too much to carry on her own."
 
"I see," her father replied flatly, a vaguely uncomfortable look on his face.
 
I know that look in his eyes! But surely he cannot disapprove, could he? "Is she not all generosity and kindness, sir?"
 
"Indeed she must be." Mr. Bennet retreated a small step, his voice sharp. I know you are clever Lizzy, but you are not going to trap me into giving this little venture my approval as much as you may wish for it.
 
"What is more, Papa," I mean no disrespect. I can see you are uncomfortable, but I cannot let this go so easily. "Mary and I found it quite…" She looked to her sister.
 
"Satisfying?" Mary offered with a hesitant swallow. Glancing up at her sister, she was surprised at the approval she found in the older girl's eyes.
 
"Yes, satisfying. Exactly. We found it quite satisfying to be thus engaged. We should like it very much if we might be allowed to accompany Mama when she visits Longbourn's tenants."
 
Lizzy! Mary stared at her sister, stunned. How can you speak so? You know she does not visit any of them. I do not think that now is the best time for you to showing your wit by criticizing Mama so. Papa does not seem impressed by our enterprise already. I cannot imagine this will help.
 
."You would, would you now?" A frown slowly crept over his face as he regarded his favorite daughter. He sighed heavily and retreated another half step. "And give up your time for calling on your friends, and even the library? Most singular indeed. What an odd occupation for genteel young ladies."
 
"How would that be, Papa?" Lizzy pressed, undaunted. "Is that not a part of the duties of the mistress of an estate? Mama has always had in mind for at least some of us to marry gentlemen, so I can hardly see how she could object to teaching us that aspect of being mistress of an estate."
 
Lizzy is right. She has tried to teach us how to catch a husband, but little else. I should like to how to be useful once one is caught. Mary laughed sadly to herself. Little chance that I have of it as it is.
 
Mr. Bennet scowled. What are you about, Lizzy? I have seen you take up a fancy before, but not with quite this much energy. What has so affected you?
 
"I cannot but think that Mama would be glad for company on her visits. She does so hate to go out and about alone any more. I am surprised that she has not asked us to accompany her before." A dark look warned Lizzy she was pushing her liberties with her father too hard. "But surely she did not want to suspend any pleasure of her daughters with such burdensome duties."
 
"That will do, Lizzy." I have never heard you so hard with your mother before. What is going on?
 
Lizzy had the good grace to blush at her impertinence. "I am sorry, Papa." She bit her tongue. He is right, I should not have spoken so.
 
Mary stared at her father and sister, astonished to see her sister so unaffected by her father's rebuke. You are so brave, Lizzy. How can you bear his displeasure so gamely? But then again I suppose it is not so fearsome a thing when you have so much of his favor as well. I do not think I will ever had such courage.
 
"I expect you will be wanting to clean up for dinner. Your mother has already called for a tray in her room, so I imagine it will be a rather somber event tonight without her narratives to keep us entertained. You both may be called upon to fill the silence. With--what was it you called it this morning, Lizzy? Ah, yes, sensible conversation." He quirked an eyebrow and smiled wryly. With a brief nod, he continued on his way, leaving his two daughters pondering the exchange.
 

As predicted, the dining room was oddly quiet as the eldest three Bennet sisters made their entrance for dinner. Without the mistress of Longbourn to carry the conversation, the dining room felt very hushed, for the occupants were quite accustomed to depending on that lady to set the tone of dinnertime conversation.
 
Finally, Lydia broke the silence. "Pass the potatoes, Mary. Do not hog them so!"
 
"Lyddie," Jane whispered, "do not be unkind."
 
"There is nothing unkind in the truth!" Lydia snapped with a pouting scowl at her eldest sister. Turning back to the table at large she added, "You will be so sorry you did not go into town with us when you hear the news."
 
"Indeed, Lizzy," Kitty agreed, pointedly ignoring Mary's unhappy looks. "You will be sorry not to have heard for yourself. Though perhaps Mary won't care a jot, for she does not approve of gossip."
 
Jane glanced over to see Mary look down to her lap as the younger girl tried to ignore her sister's distain. How can they speak so to you and Papa says nothing! I'm so sorry. I must find a way to talk to you tonight.
 
"Heard what?" Elizabeth asked, irritation growing in her voice. I cannot imagine what they have heard in town. Looking at their faces I can tell whatever it is, they think it is a good joke. Doubtless I will not agree.
 
"Yes, do tell," Mr. Bennet invited. "Without your mother here we must have some conversation." His eyes twinkled teasingly. Only Lizzy was attentive to his expression.
 
"Well, Mrs. Lawton…" Kitty began animatedly.
 
"No, Kitty, wait! It is my story to tell. I am the one who brought it up. It is for me to tell the story," Lydia protested angrily.
 
"You always tell all the stories to everyone. I never get the chance to talk." Kitty's hands balled in frustration.
 
Jane sighed, leaning her chin on her hand. She is right.
 
"You are always talking." Lydia crossed her arms over her chest angrily.
 
"I am not! No one gets the chance with you in the room."
 
The three elder sisters cringed uncomfortably looking to each other for support.
 
"That is not fair! I cannot help it if people prefer to listen to me. Tales are so dull when you tell them!" She looked down her pert nose on her next older sister, blinking innocently in an expression she knew Kitty hated.
 
"Lydia!" Kitty's hands flew to her hips as she half-rose in her chair.
 
Elizabeth glanced at her father, dismayed to find the amusement that played in his eyes. Oh Papa, can you not see how improper this is? How awful it would be for anyone else to witness this scene? She heard the sounds of servants in another room and gasped, aghast, realizing this incident, and many such like it, had indeed been witnessed by the surest source of gossip in the neighborhood. She squirmed uncomfortably in her seat, attracting Mary's attention.
 
Poor Lizzy. She looks so discouraged with Papa right now. Is this the first time she has noticed how he indulges their silliness so? Mary shrugged her shoulders helplessly.
 
Finally Jane quietly asserted herself. "Kitty, Lyddie, none of us will hear your news if you only argue over who is to tell it. Can you not both tell us your news? Lydia, you begin, then Kitty can fill in with her own observations." I do so wish you could restrain yourselves. Not all look so tolerantly upon you as our parents. Sadness filled Jane's pretty blue eyes.
 
"We had tea with Aunt Phillips today, and who, but Mrs. Lawton and her daughter should come to call." Lydia began animatedly. "And she, I mean Emily, not Mrs. Lawton, wore the most beautiful new lace trim…"
 
"No! No lace! I beg of you." Mr. Bennet interjected landing his hands heavily on the table for emphasis. "If I must hear this, there is to be no talk of lace."
 
Oh Papa, that this is what you would choose to correct them for--their talk of lace. Lizzy frowned and caught Jane's eyes. Jane nodded somberly.
 
"Well," Kitty picked up the tale. "Mrs. Lawton told us Mr. Carver's upstairs maid told her scullery maid who told her lady's maid the reason that they removed so suddenly from Netherfield…" Kitty and Lydia shared a conspiratorial giggle.
 
Elizabeth grimaced, biting her lip hard.
 
"She said he found the company in Meryton savage!" Lydia interrupted. "Imagine that, savage!"
 
"She also said he objected to the presence of the regiment and the town crawling with officer!" Kitty laughed mockingly, turning to Lydia as the girls giggled in unison, "Officers!"
 
"Nor, it seems, was he overly impressed with the officers' wives!" Lydia added with a flourish."I cannot see how he could find fault with Mrs. Forster! She came with us to call upon his sisters ever so often."
 
"Yes, and Maria would come with us too. We were such a merry party. His sisters looked forward to us coming to call ever so much." Kitty added excitedly.
 
And the brother not at all. Lizzy glumly looked down at her plate, her appetite lost.
 
"Extraordinary!" Mr. Bennet exclaimed. "I am quite diverted. Imagine a grown man frightened from his home by a flock of silly young women!" He laughed heartily. "To exert all the trouble and expense of moving because he did not like the company his sisters kept. Such a weak constitution he must have!" I though him a fool the first time I met him. I was right.
 
"Papa," Elizabeth retorted, her frustration starting to show, "if he found his sisters' company untoward, what should he have done?" Boldly she met her father's gaze.
 
With no small surprise, he took stock of his favorite child. What has gotten into you today, Lizzy? I have never seen you so missish. Only the three eldest sisters noted the discomfiture in Mr. Bennet's expression. "What should he have done?" he finally repeated. "What is there for him to do? If the girls wish to keep silly company, then how is he to stop it? Mark my words, they are bound and determined to expose themselves to the world as ridiculous. To do so here would have been far simpler and given their brother far less expense. Alas, now he will find that despite his effort and outlay, the girls will still show themselves outrageous in…"
 
"Brighton," Lydia supplied brightly. "They are going to Brighton."
 
"In Brighton then. Where, I might add, it is far more expensive to do so than in Meryton. He has spared himself nothing, you see, an cost himself quite an unfortunate amount." He raised his brows acerbically as a knowing smile lifted his thin lips.
 
"So, you mean to say, Papa," Lizzy swallowed hard, straightening her back, "that a man should not concern himself with the company his family keeps?"
 
"Certainly not, child! Whatever would give you such an idea?" he rebuked quickly.
 
His eldest daughters sighed softly in unison, relaxing slightly. Had any of their observers noticed, they would have laughed, but as no one did, the air in the room remained somber.
 
"There is certainly company that is not fitting for a gentleman's daughter to keep." He straightened his shoulders and looked directly at each of his five daughters in turn. "I would be moved to action to see you consorting with servants or their sons."
 
Lydia giggled, pressing her hands to her lips. "Oh, Papa! Why ever would we do that?"
 
Lizzy struggled to conceal her sigh and frown.
 
"Likewise, I would not want to see you consorting with any of Colonel Forester's enlisted men. That would be imprudent at best." He looked severely at his youngest daughters.
 
"But officers…" Kitty whispered hopefully, grinning when she gained his slow nod. Lydia giggled at this too.
 
"Neither am I certain that Netherfield's cottagers are fitting company for my daughters. An errand of charity, well that is one thing, but simply calling on another man's tenants is quite another." He cast a reproving eye on his second eldest who sank visibly with his reproach. "Well, this has been quite an interesting meal, girls. If you will excuse me." With a nod, he rose and left the table, his daughters watching, stunned, as he removed himself from their company.
 

Her headache having returned in full force, Elizabeth excused herself to her room soon after. There, she left the candles unlit, allowing the moonlight to filter in, bathing the room in a pale, silvery glow. The dimness of the light left everything looking grey, a fitting color for the state of her soul.
 
"Has he always been this way?" she wondered aloud, her voice very soft. "Have I been so blind that I have never seen it because I was his favorite?" Agitated, she rose from her chair and paced in front of the window. Storm clouds are gathering. How fitting. Lady Lucas, it seems, was correct. "Oh, Papa, I am so dismayed." She sighed, leaning her elbows on the window sill, pressing her forehead to the glass. The cold glass, chilled by the incoming storm, felt good against her throbbing head. Finally she stood to pace again.
 
Ever since I was small, I looked up to you. You were the one I could talk with, who seemed interested in my questions, my interests, no matter how unladylike they were. You encouraged me to read, to think, to talk, to be your companion. It was you who taught me to laugh…at myself…and at everyone else. I have always thought so highly of you. Tears welled in her eyes. Roughly she brushed them from her cheek as they began falling unbidden. But today, it is as if I am seeing a different man. How can it be that you, who were always so concerned with what I thought and what I read, care so little for what people might influence your daughters? Their social standing is important, but not their character?
 
I cannot believe you would be so disapproving of your daughters taking on their responsibility in the community. I had hoped…hoped you would be proud of me. Like you were when I learned to play chess or decided to attempt Latin. I thought you would be please with me. I do not want to displease you, Papa. But what am I to do?
 
Brusquely she wiped more tears away, but the pain in her heart was too great. Wrapping her arms around her waist, she began to weep. Standing alone in the middle of her room, she quietly sobbed, wondering what had become of the man she thought she knew, and when he had become the man she saw this night. In the distance a low rumble of thunder shook the windows. Large drops of rain began pelting the window, drowning out the sounds of her cries.
 
 

Ch 17:A gentle answer turns away wrath

Sleep proved elusive for Elizabeth that night. She found herself lying awake, listening to the sounds of the rain well into the early morning hours. Dawn was just breaking weakly over the grey, stormy landscape when she finally found sleep. Several hours later, Jane tiptoed into her room bearing a tray.
 
"Oh, Jane," Lizzy murmured wearily, struggling to sit up, the chill in the air and the gloom outside giving her all the more reason to long to keep to her bed.
 
"Are you well, Lizzy?" Jane set the tray down on a small table. Gracefully she sat on the soft bed beside her sister and handed her a shawl against the cold. "I was so worried for you when you did not appear at breakfast this morning. That is so unlike you."
 
"I am well, I just slept so poorly. The storm kept me up, I am afraid. It was nearly first light before I fell asleep." She did not meet her sister's blue eyes, knowing Jane would see her untruth immediately. Self-consciously she pulled the shawl around her shoulders. I am so glad we brought Mrs. Black that blanket.
 
"The rain did not keep you up." But Jane did not need to look in her sister's eyes to recognize the untruth she spoke. "Why are you so reluctant to talk to me?" I do not like you keeping secrets from me. You do it so rarely and one when something is deeply troubling you.
 
"I think you know me far too well." Lizzy laughed, maneuvering to sit cross-legged against the head board of the bed. "I do not suppose you would believe I have a headache either?" she asked with a raised brow and half smile.
 
"I have no doubt that the headache has been a very real companion to you. But I do not believe it responsible for your wakefulness either." Jane's raised brows and knowing expression made her look maternal. "I can see you are troubled. Come eat something and tell me of it."
 
Yes, Mama. You have always been such a mother to me. I wonder what that has cost you dear sister. Reluctantly, Lizzy allowed Jane to lead her to a chair near the small painted table bearing the tray. "Was Papa distressed by my absence this morning?" she asked softly, buttering a muffin.
 
"He took a tray in his bookroom and Mama remained in her rooms. Kitty and Lydia slept in as you did, so it was only Mary and me this morning." Jane poured a cup of tea for her sister. Gently she laid it on the table and regarded her sister as she ate. "I have answered your question, now you must answer mine. You are not acting like yourself. Tell me what is troubling you."
 
Dear sweet Jane. I would not see you hurt for the world. "Jane, tell me honestly, now, did you like Mr. Carver, I mean like him in the way you would wish to like a…a husband?"
 
"What an odd question. You keep plying me with questions instead of answering mine." Although she laughed, Jane's eyes became reproachful.
 
Lizzy sighed heavily and returned the last bite of her muffin to its plate. Absently she traced the pattern on the dainty plate with her finger. "Please, to answer your question I must first have your answer to my question."
 
Rolling her eyes and shaking her head, the blonde young woman relented, "All right. To be entirely honest--and I would say this only to you--no I did not. Please, Lizzy, do not share this with anyone!" She bit her lip anxiously and waited until her sister nodded before continuing. "For short periods, he was gentlemanly and agreeable enough. But when in his company for longer periods, there was a coarseness in his character and a gruffness in his manner that I did not find pleasing." Her face took on a peculiar expression.
 
Lizzy's dark eyes twinkled merrily as she giggled. "You look like you did the day you went walking with me and got sand in your shoe. You would not stop to remove it, and it tortured you all the way home!"
 
The elder girl laughed self-deprecatingly. "I suppose that is how he made me feel, constantly grating on my nerves, but not with anything significant. It was always small things, the way he called after his sisters, the way he spoke to his servants. The way he held his knife and fork at the table--it was all I could do not to treat him like our nephew and remove them from his hands and show him the right way!" She laughed softly. "Never anything I could justly complain about. Nothing that Mama would understand anyway." Jane shrugged sadly. "To be entirely honest, if I feel anything at their retreat from Netherfield, it is relief. I know it is selfish of me, Lizzy, but it is so." Jane hung her head, embarrassed by her confession.
 
"I am so relieved to hear you say that, I cannot tell you!" Lizzy gushed. "I did not think you so very affected by Mr. Carver, but Mama feared you heartbroken."
 
"Not for him, fear not." She smiled up weakly at her sister. Only for the way I have disappointed Mama and failed to do my duty by all of you.
 
"I suppose I owe you and answer now, do I not?" Lizzy sighed, drawing her knees up to her chest. "I went to visit the Carver sisters just before they left. Mr. Carver had me brought to his study, I was not permitted to see the girls. He spoke to me of his reasons for quitting Netherfield."
 
Jane's look of surprise melted into consternation as she saw the pain in her sister's eyes.
 
"Lyddie and Kitty were correct, he did find the company here objectionable." Frowning, Lizzy sighed. "But he did not speak to me of officers nor their wives. He said it was…" her voice faltered.
 
"Our sisters--Kitty and Lydia--it was them he objected to?" Jane finished for her.I am so sorry he told you as well.
 
"How did you know?"
 
"He was not a man to keep his opinions to himself, you know. While he never came out to say it directly, I could piece together his true meaning easily enough." Shaking her head, Jane gracefully rose and walked to the window. "Sadly, I am all too aware that it was the indiscretions of our family that drove the Carvers from Meryton. I am just sorry that you had to hear it from him." Turning back to her sister, she added. "It is selfish of me to be pleased though. I am so relieved to have someone to share this burden with."
 
"I am glad to share it with you. Carrying it alone was too much for me as well." Lizzy joined her sister at the window and embraced her warmly. "We shall bear this together."
 
Finally they returned to sit by the table again. With a sigh, Lizzy laughed to herself. "I suppose then we should thank our sisters for freeing you from the burden of rejecting a suitor you did not wish for." She cocked her head and smiled wistfully.
 
"Only Lizzy, my optimistic sister, could fashion such a sentiment!" Jane shook her head in dismay. "How can you laugh so?"
 
"If I do not, I will cry." Lizzy bit her lower lip, blinking hard to hold back her tears.
 
"I did not mean to say you were unfeeling, dearest! Only that I envy you your ability to find something to smile about, even in the midst of all this." Jane reached to lay her soft hand on Lizzy's shoulder.
 
"I envy your equanimity and gentleness. I will never have your goodness." She reached to clasp her elder sister's hand warmly.
 
They sat in companionable silence as Lizzy finished her breakfast. Finally though, Lizzy broke the stillness. "So then, what are we to do? Knowing what we do, as fact and not simply gossip, what do we do? I cannot imagine for a moment that doing nothing is the wisest course."
 
Jane drew a breath to respond, but was stopped by a soft rapping at the door.
 
Looking quizzically at her sister, Lizzy shrugged. "Come in."
 
A moment later, Mary's face appeared in the doorway, and her sisters beckoned her in. "Is it all right…may I…" she stammered timidly. They have never invited me to be part of their intimacy, but never have I asked before either.
 
Jane smiled broadly, exuding a genuine warmth into the still chilly room. "Of course, Mary. We would welcome your company." Gracefully she rose to take her sister's hand and draw her in.
 
"You are very welcome to join us whenever you wish," Lizzy added gently.
 
"Thank you," Mary perched on the end of the bed near her sisters.
 
For a moment the silence became awkward. The older sisters exchanged questioning glances briefly before nodding in agreement.
 
I wonder what they are saying to each other like that. They seem to understand each other so well. Mary sighed as she watched them.
 
"Jane and I were just talking of some of the same things you and I spoke of yesterday." Elizabeth took a distracted sip of her tea. "Would you be willing to tell Jane what you told me you overheard in town?"
 
Mary's eyes widened in surprise at the request.
 
"Oh dear!" Jane exclaimed, biting her fist. "Not there as well? What has been said?" Alarm filled her eyes.
 
Despite the bleakness of the topic, Mary's cheeks flushed with warmth.They are truly including me, not just making small talk until I depart. Quickly Mary described her mortifying experience again.
 
"So it is not just Mr. Carver who sees our sisters so unfavorably," Lizzy concluded with a serious look at her elder sister.
 
"Mr. Carver! Is that why…" Mary exclaimed, covering her mouth with her hands.
 
"I am afraid that is what he said." Lizzy frowned deeply, her full lips pressed together in a hard line.
 
"What are we to do?" Mary looked from one sister to the other. "How many of our neighbors will begin to consider us cut from the same cloth?" I have tried so hard not to follow in their silliness, I do not want to be painted with their brush! It is unfair! Does it count for nothing that I have not done such things?
 
"We were just considering that when you came in." Jane sighed softly. "I fear we are in a difficult position."
 
"With Mama and Papa as they are…" Lizzy's voice took on a decidedly angry note.
 
"But we must honour them. Are we not taught…" Mary protested immediately.
 
Lizzy looked sharply at her younger sister, exasperation in her sigh. "Yes but…"
 
Jane laid a gentle hand on Mary's arm. "Perhaps it would be best…"
 
"If you were not always sermonizing," Lizzy finished irritably.
 
Mary's green eyes welled with tears. She blinked furiously to keep them from falling. "I…I did not know. Is that why everyone seems to avoid me so?" She turned to her eldest sister for counsel. I should leave them to their conversation, they do not have room for me.
 
Sympathetic tears filled Jane's eyes as she sadly nodded.
 
Mary dropped her face into her hands and wept softly. She rose, turning her back on the other girls and stepped toward the door. I knew better. I should never have said anything. I do not belong…
 
"I am sorry, Mary," Lizzy rose quickly and went to embrace her sister. "I was wrong to be so short with you. Please forgive me."
 
Jane looked on, aching for Mary. Oh Lizzy, I understand why she irritates you, but do you realize how much you sadden her with your reproach?How can I help you to understand one another?
 
"I should go," Mary murmured through her hands. She tried to pull away.
 
"Please do not. I was wrong, Mary, and I have often been wrong in the way I have treated you. You were such a dear companion to me yesterday when I very much needed it. I would be sorry indeed not to have that again." She held the younger girl for a long moment.
 
Finally Mary lifted her head and looked at her sister. "I do not wish to be a bother to you," she whispered, looking away.
 
Jane joined the two near the door. "You are no bother, Mary." She guided them both back to sit on the edge of the bed.
 
Tearfully, the youngest girl looked up into Jane's kind eyes. "I am truly so disturbing…"
 
Jane sighed, brushing stray curls back from Mary's forehead. "You are not disturbing dearest. But not everyone wishes…"
 
"To hear a sermon?" Mary glanced at Lizzy, the hurt still evident in her eyes.
 
"It is not so much what you are saying," Elizabeth protested, "but how you are saying it."
 
"Perhaps if you could find a different way to express yourself you might find your thoughts more welcome," Jane carefully suggested.
 
Mary's brow creased thoughtfully as she considered the suggestion. "I never thought of that."
 
With a tentative smile, Lizzy nodded. "I do believe our dear sister is correct." Leave it to you Jane to find a way to say such a thing kindly.
 
"Would it have been accurate for you to have said just now that in whatever we would choose to do, you would like to see that Mama and Papa are still honoured?" Jane looked hopefully at the younger girl.
 
A look of understanding dawned. "Yes, it would be. I think I understand what you are saying. It does indeed sound different, but it does convey what I was trying to say."
 
"Is it possible that this is what is meant when we are taught that a gentle answer turns away wrath?" Blue eyes blinked encouragingly.
 
"I see! Jane, thank you! I understand." Mary's forehead creased in thought. "I think I do. I will try to do what you have said, although I fear I will not be good at it at first." A timid smile bloomed.
 
"I would never have thought to say it that way." Lizzy confessed with a tender smile at her eldest sister. "I am embarrassed to admit what a difference that makes. As much as you are going to try, Mary, so will I. If I become short with you, you have my permission to remind me that I must be more patient." Jane is quick enough to let me know!
 
"I would like you to tell me if I need to watch my words, please."
 
"It seems then we can help each other." Lizzy agreed.
 
Jane sighed thoughtfully, "Perhaps this is what we need to do." He rubbed her knuckles across her lips, considering.
 
Elizabeth smoothed a few stray hairs back. "I am not sure I understand you."
 
"I do not see that it is our place to correct our parents. But we can correct ourselves," Jane explained.
 
"Indeed, we are each to carry our own load," Mary agreed, biting her lip and checking Lizzy's reaction, sighing when she received approval.
 
"I have no wish to argue with or direct our parents, I agree," Lizzy nodded. "We can hardly expect our sisters to change if we do not first do what we need to do. I have written to our Aunt Gardiner for advice. Perhaps she can give us direction on how to do what we must." I do so hope to hear from her soon. I need her so much right now.
 
"That is good, Lizzy! I know of no one who does not admire our aunt. Often I have heard her complimented as being a fine lady, despite her connections in trade. She certainly would be a fitting guide for us." For the first time that morning, Jane looked encouraged.
 
The optimism spread to Mary. "Since she is family, perhaps it would not be such an offense to Mama that we ask advice from her."
 
"That is a good thought! While I wait for my letter to come, we should employ the time effectively. Do you think you could search your books of sermons for advice that we might implement?" I hope I do not regret making that suggestion.
 
"I will try, Lizzy, but I fear…"
 
"There is no need to fear," Jane cut in quickly, "just note what you think important, and we can discuss it together each night. For my part, I will speak with Mama and with Hill, and try to come to a better understanding of what it means to be the mistress of an estate. I believe I can do so without causing Mama to feel reproach."
 
If anyone can do that it would be Jane. "I think that is a good plan." Lizzy felt a weight lift from her shoulders. "Perhaps we can interest our younger sisters in our efforts once we ourselves know what must be done."
 
"I know that Kitty longs to be admired," Mary offered hesitantly. "She follows Lydia because she believes that Lydia is admired, and that if she follows her, she will be as well. If she saw there was another way to gain attention and praise, I believe it would not be difficult to persuade her to try a different means."
 
"That is good to hear." Jane encouraged. Perhaps they are not as far gone as I had feared
 
"I am embarrassed I did not know that either. I am beginning to see that I have been a shockingly neglectful elder sister." Lizzy blushed with her confession.
 
"Let us…" Mary stopped, thought for a moment, then continued, "I would like it if we could press on to what is ahead instead of finding recriminations for the past."
 
Hugging her younger sister, Jane encouraged, "Well done, Mary."
 
Perhaps there is hope for the Bennet sisters after all.
 

Ch 18: Reckless words pierce like a sword

Posted on 2010-10-24

Despite the persistence of the rain, the next two days passed quickly for the three eldest Bennet sisters. Employed as they were in seeking solutions to their dilemma, they hardly noticed the time confined to the house.
 
Finally on the morning of the third day, the storm broke and dawn finally came, bright and colorful to announce the coming morning. Gratefully Lizzy rose and took her morning walk, drinking in the rain cleansed air as she dodged as many mud puddles as she could. On returning to Longbourn, she found her father already at breakfast, his head buried in the most recent newspaper.
 
"Good morning Lizzy, returned from your walk I see." He rattled the paper and looked up at her over the edge.
 
"Yes, Papa. It was quite refreshing to walk outside again after so many days confined." She smiled ruefully looking down at her muddy boots and skirts.
 
"You seemed to bear it well enough this time with Jane and Mary for company," an unreadable note in his voice caught her attention.
 
"Yes, sir," she replied a little warily, wondering where the conversation was heading.
 
"It was quite pleasant to see Mary with you instead of trying to drown out Kitty and Lydia with her pianoforte," Mr. Bennet laughed softly as he returned to his paper.
 
Lizzy said nothing as she served herself from the sideboard and sat down. Absorbed in his paper, Mr. Bennet seemed to have no need for further conversation. Lizzy was happy enough for the silence as well, so she quietly entertained her own thoughts as she ate.
 
Finally he finished his meal. Folding his paper, he fixed his attention on his daughter. "It is good to see you are returning to yourself Lizzy. I am not accustomed to you being so missish."
 
"I am sorry, Papa." He is right I was painfully impertinent with him.
 
"For a moment I was tempted to believe that you were affected by the Carvers' departure." He laughed to himself. "But I could hardly fathom such a thing! You have far too much sense to truly like a man with so little understanding."
 
"Oh no! I did not like him at all!" Elizabeth quickly exclaimed, the look of shock on her face drawing more laughter from her father. "You have nothing to fear on my behalf!" But perhaps not so much so for my sisters.
 
"That just shows your good sense once again, child." He rose and, kissing her forehead, excused himself from the room.
 
Lizzy sighed to herself. I am so glad he is not still angry with me. I do so hate to be at odds with him. That is strange, it sounds like he is going upstairs? It is very unlike him to do so this early in the day. She frowned as she reached for the newspaper and began to scan the headlines. Her reverie was broken by loud voices at the doorway.
 
"How droll you look, Lizzy!" Lydia teased, hand on her hips, head cocked knowingly.
 
"You look just like Papa when you do that," Kitty chimed in, peeking over Lydia's shoulder.
 
"Good morning, Kitty. Good morning, Lyddie." Lizzy forced herself to smile at her younger sisters. It will serve no good purpose to be cross with them, they will only dismiss anyting I say if I am.
 
"I am so glad that dreadful rain has stopped." Lydia paused to take a large bite of her muffin. She continued mouth still full, "It has been days since we have called upon anyone and I am starved for news."
 
"I am too!" Kitty echoed, reaching for the jam to spread on her bread. "I should have thought I would die of boredom if we had to remain without company another day!" Both girls looked at each other and giggled.
 
"So, what did you do these past days during your hardship?" A fine eyebrow quirked over sparkling brown eyes.
 
"Well, we didn't have to listen to Mary this time! She was not about quoting Fordyce to all who had ears!" Lydia's superior look disquieted Lizzy.
 
"Nor was she banging away at her ballads on the pianoforte," Kitty finished quickly, laughing as her hands pounded at an imaginary keyboard.
 
"Do not be so unkind to your sister," Elizabeth admonished, startling the two younger girls. "It is unbecoming to speak of her so." So much for not being cross. She sighed.
 
"Oh Lizzy, you yourself have said…" her youngest sister protested vigorously.
 
"I know too well what I have said and I was very wrong to do so." More softly she added, "I have been a shockingly bad role model to you both and I must apologize. I am truly sorry."
 
The youngest sisters turned to stare at each other. Neither girl knew how to respond, so an uncomfortable silence descended.
 
"You…you asked what we did yesterday," Kitty finally reminded, playing uncomfortably with her napkin.
 
"I did indeed. Please tell me how you occupied yourselves. I do not believe I saw either of you the whole of the day long." Lizzy was grateful for the reprieve her younger sister granted.
 
"Well, you remember those ribbons and the new lace we purchased in town when we went last?" Lydia waited for her sister's nod. "We put it to good use. We remade our oldest frocks into something ever more fashionable."
 
"How very clever," Lizzy offered, fighting to contain a more acerbic remark. I supposed that is time better spent than chasing after the officers.
 
"Since we no longer have proper lady's maid to do such things for us," Lydia frowned. "Papa really ought to hire a new one for us you know. Mattie really cannot manage to serve all five of us. Kitty and I are ever so neglected…"
 
"We decided to try for ourselves. Mama tells me I am ever so clever with my needle." Kitty flushed with remembered praise. "We purchased the latest edition of The Lady's Magazine while we were in town. It had printed patterns for the latest styles. Oh the sleeves! I dared not try them on my own, but the patterns were just the thing! You must see the sleeves. They are so lovely now! I thought I would never wear my blue gown again but now it is so fashionable!"
 
"I still think it would be better to have a lady's maid to do such things for us," Lyddie pouted, crossing her arms over her chest.
 
"Well I am impressed. You know how ill I am at piece work. Mama declared me all but hopeless years ago. I would love to see what you have done. Perhaps, if you are willing, you might see to one of my own dresses as well." Certainly she could not make that sprigged muslin any worse than it is and if Mary is correct that she is looking for attention, this might be a way…
 
Lydia rolled her eyes, but Kitty's face lit with her sister's implied compliment. "Truly Lizzy? You would trust me with one of your gowns?"
 
"Why should I not? If your blue gown delights you so, then it seems I have good reason. Might you show me your work this afternoon? I shall render my verdict then," she teased gently. Poor girl, she is just dying for attention in Lydia's shadow. She must receive little enough as it is.
 
"But we were to call upon Maria today!" Lydia whined, harrumphing angrily.
 
"There will be plenty of time for that as well," Lizzy assured, trying not to roll her eyes as her youngest sister.
 
"I shall look forward to it, Lizzy," Kitty declared defiantly, squaring her shoulders.
 
"I shall as well. Excuse me." Gracefully the elder girl rose from the table. How different Kitty seems. Perhaps she will not be so difficult to influence after all. I am shocked at how much I have in fact neglected her. A vague sense of guilt haunting her, Lizzy began to climb the stairs.
 
She was lost in thought as she walked down the hallway. So much so, that she nearly walked into her father as he strode from his wife's room. Startled, Lizzy raised her eyebrow, but he simply shook his head.
 
"Not now, child. I need to think. Come talk to me in my study this evening after I have had an opportunity to consider." With a nod, he walked past her and disappeared down the stairs.
 
How very strange! Consider what? Her brow knit thoughtfully as she watched the empty hallway after him. That is so unlike Papa. What could he have been doing in Mama's rooms at such an hour? She is rarely an early riser, and does not much appreciate company at such hours.
 
That is crying! Is that Mama? Pausing, she listened intently to the unfamiliar sound. I do believe it is. She is weeping. The sound was soft, that of genuine tears, not the more common loud histrionics that were frequent in the Bennet household.
 
Indecision plagued Elizabeth. She had been caught in enough of her mother's hysterical displays to know that she wished to avoid any more such experiences. And yet, this does not sound affected. I do not believe I have ever heard Mama cry this way before. Did Papa say something to her? I heard no raised voices and he did not seem cross just now. Frowning she stared at the door. Mary would tell me it is our duty to mourn with those who mourn. Lizzy sighed, brushing a stray hair from her forehead. She is right. I fear too many times I have been content to walk away and allow Jane the duty of consolation. Drawing a deep breath, she softly rapped at the door.
 
No answer came, so she knocked again. This time the door opened slightly. Within the room, she could see her mother, still in her night dress, sitting in her bed, weeping.
 
"Mama?" Lizzy asked softly, unsure of what to say.
 
Surprised, Mrs. Bennet looked up, startled to see her least sympathetic child at her door.
 
"Mama, are you unwell?"
 
The simple question seemed to push Mrs. Bennet over the edge once more into another paroxysm of sobs. Slipping inside, Lizzy shut the door behind her and went to her mother's bedside. Hesitantly, Elizabeth sat beside her, laying a hand on her heaving shoulders. "Is there anything I can do to help, Mama?"
 
Red tearful eyes stared up at her. "Oh Lizzy…" she croaked before she was seized by more tears.
 
"Are you ill? Have you gotten news of some calamity? I know Papa and my sisters are well. Please tell me what is wrong, and what I may do for your relief." Lizzy's anxiety mounted. I have never seen her this way before. She has never failed to voice her complaints clearly.
 
"Oh child!" Mrs. Bennet cried again. "I have failed you. I have failed you all. I have only ever wanted for you girls to have a secure future. Is that not what every mother would want for her daughters?"
 
Lizzy's heart froze in her chest. Oh no! What happened in town? Soothingly she rubbed her mother's back.
 
"Should I not want that for you all? Have I not done everything in my power to give you that?" Beseechingly she stared at her daughter.
 
"Yes, Mama. I know that has always been your wish, I know that is what you have sought for us. How is it now that you fear you have failed us?" Lizzy bit her lip. Who was it that spoke to you?
 
Minutes passed as another fit of crying consumed Mrs. Bennet. Finally she was able to respond. "Lydia, Kitty and I went into town to see my sister."
 
"Yes, they told me of their visit."
 
"Your Aunt Phillips, she pulled me aside and told me that there was something she needed to speak with me of in private, a report of a most alarming nature."
 
If it is what I fear, it was alarming indeed. "What did she tell you? I can see it has made you quite upset."
 
"It was terrible! I could not believe I was hearing such things from my very own sister!" Trembling hands brushed tears from her face.
 
"What did she tell you?" Elizabeth demanded more firmly.
 
"Do not tell your sisters this! I cannot bear the thought of them hearing…" Her eyes pleaded with her usually stubborn daughter.
 
"I will keep your confidences." Lizzy fought to control her frustration. I do not know how to feel that you would tell me something so dreadful that you do not wish for them to hear of it for fear of their distress but have no concern for mine. She sighed.
 
"The Carvers…"
 
Oh no, it is what I feared! Elizabeth could not suppress a grimace.
 
"I have heard that it was neither the officers nor their wives, nor even the militia that drove them from Meryton."
 
"Truly?" Lizzy was glad that in her distress, her mother failed to recognize the insincerity of her daughter's tone.
 
"Indeed. Your aunt told me that… well, it does not matter who has said it for everyone in town has heard by now…" A blue-veined hand covered her face.
 
"Heard what?" Just say it!
 
"It was my dearest girls!" Mrs. Bennet dissolved into nearly hysterical sobs.
 
Lizzy sighed, laying a comforting arm over her mother's shoulders. Oh Jane, what would you say right now? You are so much better than I am at moments like this. I feel so very awkward.
 
"I would never believe such a thing but that my own sister told me so! She said it was my dearest girls that drove them away. She said he found their company…insufferable!" More tears followed this declaration.
 
I am sure Aunt Phillips was none too gentle in her declarations! Such a prime bit of news to be shared, she would not have handled it with care.
 
"I was told that they were coarse and unladylike. Of all things, Lizzy! Have I not always taught you all to be ladies? Of course I have. I have! But not well enough for Mr. Carver it seems." For a brief moment she seemed to regain some of her indignation, but deflated again as she continued. "He called my precious Lydia loud and boisterous of all things. Surely she is lively, but unrefined and unseemly? It cannot be. Lizzy, tell me it cannot."
 
Her daughter stammered, unable to find words to speak. How can I answer such a demand? I cannot lie to her, but how can I speak the truth? I need Jane! She simply shook her head, mouth slightly opened, but no words forming. Their eyes met for a long moment.
 
"You heard it too?" The horror in Mrs. Bennet's voice could not be masked. "No! No! It cannot be! This is too much! Get me my salts!"
 
Quickly Lizzy handed her the vial from the bedside table. Waving them beneath her nose seemed to revive her a moment. But the despair settled into her eyes once again. "I thought perhaps… perhaps my sister had misunderstood…" she cried brokenly. "But if you have heard it too, then surely not. Both of you could not have misunderstood. It must be true. Mr. Carver must have said those things."
 
Indeed he did Mama, that and many others as well that I do not wish to share with you.
 
Mrs. Bennet's voice rose into shrill tones. "You do see, daughter, do you not? We are…we are ruined. We are ruined!"
 
"Ruined, Mama?" Her daughter stared at her in shock.
 
"Yes, ruined! Jane is so beautiful, yet Mr. Carver has deserted her! The whole town will be saying it by now…" her words dissolved into hysterical cries. "No one will ever look at Jane again, nor any of the rest of you. My dearest Lydia will be scorned…"
 
Somberly, Lizzy held her as she cried, racking her brain for something kind and sincere to say but finding nothing.
 
"I know you are shocked, you have not put two words together. But Lizzy, I know you are strong, like your father. You can bear to know the truth. But your sisters, they will be crushed. You cannot tell them of this. You cannot!" The older woman rocked hard in her daughter's arms.
 
"I understand your fear," Lizzy tried to soothe her.
 
A stricken look fell over Fanny Bennet's face and the color drained from her cheeks and she looked up at Elizabeth. "It is my fault." The words came out in a breathy whisper.
 
Her mother's tone frightened her. I have never heard her say such a thing before! She looks so ill, like she might faint at any moment.
 
"It was my fault. It has been my duty to teach you girls how to comport yourselves as ladies and how to attract eligible young men. Now all is ruined. Where have I gone wrong? How have I failed? I taught you all that I knew…to be open and lively…now we are ruined and I am to blame. How am I ever to show my face again? I cannot. I cannot." She turned away from her daughter and fell into her pillow, sobbing once again.
 
Dumbfounded, Lizzy stared at her prostrate mother. What am I to do now? What words of comfort can I offer? I feel so lost.
 
Several minutes passed before Mrs. Bennet seemed to calm a moment. Lifting her head briefly, she looked desolately at her daughter. "Leave me now, Lizzy. I have no wish for company. I feel very ill indeed."
 
"Yes, Mama." She rose and stepped toward the door.
 
"And tell your sisters I am not to be disturbed. Tell Hill to allow none of the other servants up here, only her."
 
"I will." Lizzy shut the door softly behind her. I cannot remember when Mama has ever required that she be left alone. I have never seen her like this before. Could this be what Papa needed to think on? She leaned heavily against the door, feeling heavy wood behind her head. Drawing several deep breaths, she fought to quell the growing unease that gnawed at her.
 
"Excuse me, Miss Elizabeth," Hill's unpolished voice at her elbow startled her. "The post just come, and there is a letter for you."
 
"Thank you, Hill." Lizzy accepted the thick packet from the housekeeper's work roughened hands. Suddenly remembering her mother's charge she added, "My mother is doing very poorly. She asked not to be disturbed by any of the staff but you today."
 
Hill's weathered face took on a look of alarm. "Miss Elizabeth, did she ask to keep all company away?"
 
What does Hill know that I do not? That is entirely too odd a question for her to ask if she did not know something. "Yes, that is exactly what she has asked." She looked piercingly at the older woman.
 
"Oh Miss!" The older woman shook her head, a wisp of grey hair shaking loose at her temple. "This is bad, very bad indeed."
 
"It seems as though this has happened before?" Lizzy's brow creased in thought as she tried to remember.
 
"Yes it has, but you were a wee little thing, still in the nursery then. Miss Lydia was just walking then, I think. Your mother, she had a powerful shock. She had a terrible falling out, you see, with her eldest sister's husband…"
 
"Uncle Phillips?"
 
"No, Miss," Hill shook her head somberly. "She has another sister, don't ya know. Mrs. Rawls I do believe her name was. But it were Mr. Rawls who she had that falling out with. They had a terrible row, right here in the parlor, no less, Miss. In the middle of it, he just fell out and died. The doctor said his heart just stopped and he died."
 
Lizzy gasped, her fist pressed to her lips, shaking her head.
 
"'Tis true! Mrs. Rawls, she just came to pieces, you know. Said it were the mistress' fault that her husband died and she were now a widow with no children. Mrs. Rawls left the house and has not spoken to the mistress nor Mrs. Phillips ever again."
 
"How is it that I have never heard of this before?"
 
"It was many years ago. Me and the butler are the only ones still here from those days. The Master ordered we were never to speak of it so as not to upset the mistress. She were so upset! She kept to her rooms above stairs for months until we feared for her life. It seemed as if she might not emerge again. She told me, you see, that she blamed herself for Mr. Rawls' death just as Mrs. Rawls did. No amount o' convincin' from Mrs. Phillips nor the doctor nor your father could convince her otherwise. Those were dark days at Longbourn."
 
For a long moment, Lizzy was unable to speak, trying to absorb this heretofore untold part of her family's history. Finally she softly said, "I see. Thank you for telling me…"
 
"I know I pro'lly ought not have, but when you told me what she just said…"
 
"Do not fear, Hill. I will not allow this to bring you harm. I am quite old enough to hear such news." It seems you are the only source I have for such pertinent information. I will not put that in jeopardy.
 
"You must know I would not have dared speak to any of your sisters of such a thing. But I know you are strong, Miss Elizabeth."
 
Why do I feel anything but that right now? Why do people keep telling me that? Would that I had stayed in bed myself! Sighing, she asked, "Do you recall if there was anything that seemed to help my mother during that time?"
 
"No, Miss. I am sorry. It seemed that nothing helped. When she finally came out again, it were for Miss Lydia's birthday celebration, I do believe. No one ever spoke of what had happened, like it had been forgotten, never even happened. I wish I could tell you more…"
 
"No, no, Hill, this is very helpful, thank you. Perhaps you should check on Mama now, since you seem to best know how to care for her."
 
"I will. Do not fear. I cared for her back then, and I will see her through this episode as well." Hill bobbed her head encouragingly and quietly stepped into her mistress' rooms.
 
How much more can I carry? I feel anything but strong in this moment. Now I must conceal this family tragedy too? I cannot go against my mother's wishes. But Papa has spoken to her, so surely he knows the truth about the Carvers now, if he believes that Aunt Phillips' gossip might have any truth to it. She exhaled heavily, leaning against the wall, pressing her temples hard. But still I may talk to him of it now. That is some relief. She drew herself up and stepped away from the wall, eyes still closed against the threatening headache.
 
"Oh Lizzy!" This time it was Kitty's startled voice that drew her from her reverie.
 
"Kitty! I thought you were going to call upon Lucas Lodge this morning!" she exclaimed, startled. Immediately she noticed her younger sister's red rimmed eyes and blotchy face. "What is wrong?" Please, do not cry! I cannot take more crying this morning!
 
The sad girl seemed to deflate under Elizabeth's scrutiny. "We were. I was just tying on my bonnet, the one that I have remade during all the rain, and Lydia demanded I not wear it. She told me to take it off and not to talk of our projects either." Kitty sniffled and rubbed at her nose.
 
"Why ever would she say that?"
 
"She said it was because she did not want to call attention to the fact we have no ladies' maid! But Maria and Charlotte know that already. They do not have one either." Her eyes filled with tears.
 
Poor dear. She can see that Lydia did not want to share the attention with anyone. "Well, let us leave her to enjoy her calls this morning," Lizzy declared, taking her sister's arm. "You can show me those frocks you remade. Then perhaps you might offer some ideas on how to improve that dreary sprigged muslin that I seem to avoid wearing as often as I can."
 
The light in Kitty's eyes was ample reward for Elizabeth as they made their way to Kitty's rooms.

Happily, Kitty led her older sister toward the room the younger girls shared. The yellow walls seemed to hold the sunlight, glowing with liveliness like the ones who lived within. Bits of fabric and trim lay scattered about, like children's playthings left in disarray.
 
"Oh my!" Lizzy exclaimed at the disorder.
 
"I have been so occupied sewing, I have quite forgotten to tidy up!" Kitty laughed.
 
"I can see that! Does Lydia not mind this?" Carefully she moved a pile of garments from a chair, mindful of the pins stuck throughout.
 
"As long as I continue to fix her things, she seems to ignore it easily enough."
 
Something in Kitty's tone caused Lizzy to look up, catching a brief look of disdain in her younger sister's eye. Perhaps Kitty is not nearly so pleased with Lyddie as we had all believed. How little I have attended them. "So, let me help you dress; I wish to see this amazing gown on you."
 
Blushing prettily, Kitty stared wide-eyed at her sister. She means it, she is truly interested. Turning her back, she accepted the help with the many small buttons down her back. Quickly she removed her morning dress and sorted through another pile of garments to locate the much discussed blue gown. "Here it is!" She held it up for inspection.
 
"No, no! I must see it on you!" Lizzy insisted, helping Kitty into the gown. "Let me look now."
 
Stepping back, Kitty modeled the garment. "I used the pattern from the magazine to alter the sleeves--these are the latest fashion now. I changed the shape of the neckline and added the lace here and here. Then I trimmed the skirt…."
 
"I see," Lizzy said softly, gazing at her sister's work with genuine appreciation. "Turn around. Let me see the back. Oh, I do so like how you carried the trim all the way over! That was very clever."
 
"So you like it?" Kitty bit her lip hopefully.
 
"More than just like it, Kitty, you have done a brilliant job. Truly, I am impressed. I know you used a pattern, but to take that and make it work on a dress already made is superior workmanship. You have a fine eye and excellent taste. And I am so embarrassed to have never seen it before.
 
Kitty glowed with the praise. Clapping her small hands, she twirled like a little girl. "I am so happy!"
 
Lizzy blushed, a little uncomfortable. I have shamefully neglected her. I had no idea she was so talented. I have always thought myself so superior in understanding that I have rarely even bothered to converse with her. Mary would rightfully scold me for such pride. Another sister I have rarely spoken to that it seems I have much to learn from.
 
"Here, look. I am trimming out this old bonnet to match the dress." She pressed a half-done piece into her older sister's hands. "I had this fabric from the sleeves that I can use here on the crown…"
 
"Oh, I see what you want to do! How very clever. I would not have thought of that, but it is quite lovely; and such a smart way to use what you already have. Lydia must be very pleased with what you are doing with her gowns. She takes such delight in new and pretty things."
 
Kitty deflated slightly. "She seems happy enough to have new looking gowns. She likes the attention she receives in them." Her eyes dropped to the floor.
 
Once again, Lizzy found herself at a loss for words. Lydia is quick to take advantage of Kitty's talents when it suits her, but the look on Kitty's face suggests that Lyddie is less than happy to share center stage with her. She reached over to squeeze her sister's hand.
 
Kitty lifted her head to look at her with a sad smile.
 
"It looks like you have started many projects," Lizzy laughed softly, smiling, as she pointed to the many piles strewn about them. "Show me what you are planning to do."
 
Regaining her energy, the younger girl began digging through a pile to retrieve a simple white gown. "I was hoping to have this one done for the Assembly in town next month." She held it out for her sister to see.
 
Elizabeth traced a delicately embroidered pattern on the skirt. "This is lovely! Did you design this pattern yourself?" Kitty nodded. "Do you plan to do the entire skirt in this floral scroll?"
 
"I had thought to. I like the subtly of the white on white, but perhaps a few in silver or gold might be…"
 
"That would be just the thing! Just a few of them though. Perhaps a touch of the same along the bodice, here…"
 
"Oh yes! That is perfect! And add some pleated ribbon just below…" Kitty held the ribbon up to the gown.
 
"That's a wonderful idea! I would not have thought…"
 
"Thank you, Lizzy!" Spontaneously Kitty threw her arms around her sister. "Lydia's tastes are not nearly so refined as yours. I find I am constantly arguing with her."
 
Feeling a little awkward, Elizabeth returned her sister's embrace. "Once you have finished your dress, I would be pleased to see what you think might be done with the dress I had planned for the assembly."
 
"You would allow me to alter yours! You would wear a dress I have designed for you?" She pulled away to search Lizzy's face for traces of insincerity.
 
"Your work is beautiful, Kitty. I would be very proud to wear something you have made."
 
Tears glistened in Kitty's eyes as she hugged her sister once more.
 
"I should let you get to work while you have the room to yourself. Hill just gave me a letter, and I would very much like to read it now, if you do not mind."
 
"Of course not. Thank you so much for looking at what we have done. I'm anxious to show it to you again when I have finished." Kitty gently fingered the soft white fabric.
 
"I look forward to seeing it." Smiling genuinely, Lizzy rose and left Kitty's room.
 

Finally in her own quiet chambers once again, Lizzy curled up in the window seat to read her aunt's letter at last. I have so looked forward to your wisdom, Aunt Gardiner.
 
The paper crinkled, a warm comforting sound, as she unfolded and smoothed the missive. Gently she traced the greeting with her finger tips, the sound of her aunt's gentle voice came through the inked letters.
 

My dearest Lizzy,
 
I must confess to you I have read your letter now three times and am no more certain where to begin than I was upon my first perusal. Your poor uncle will surely go quite distracted, as I have been locked in my study these three hours already! Certainly you know I write this only in jest, yet I fear it may be true by the time I am finished. The questions you ask of me have no simple, easy answers, I fear.
 
I cannot imagine how it must have felt to have heard Mr. Carver's harsh words! I am so sorry I could not be there with you. I think there are few things more difficult to hear than your family the subject of such criticism. You ask if his words could have anything of truth in them. But since later in your letter you write of your discussion with Charlotte regarding her younger sister, I believe you have already drawn your own conclusions in that regard.
 
While it is difficult, I know, you must be careful not to judge the Carvers too quickly. He is unsure of his place in society, and is anxious to protect his family the best he can. Having no children of his own, he has little experience in curbing the exuberance of young ladies. So I fear he is resorting to the only thing he knows. While I understand it is painful to you, we must assume he is acting with good intentions, hoping to do the best he can for his family. It does not change anything, I know, but perhaps it can make forgiveness easier to find.
 
All of those things are easy to say, but then you ask me what is there to be done. That is a much more difficult issue. I do not believe there is a single thing to be done, and I believe there are several important points to consider. The first, and perhaps most important, is this, you must know what is your responsibility and what is not. It is not your task to save your family – that is the responsibility of your father and mother. Do not usurp that role. Do not take that burden on yourself – that is too much, even for you, my dearest niece. We all know how capable you are, dear Lizzy. Indeed, I cannot think of a single thing you have attempted to do that you did not succeed in doing, except perhaps your needlework. But there are some burdens that are not for you to carry.
 
Remember, your sisters are your sisters, not your daughters. It is good and right and proper for you to teach and encourage them as a sister, but do not try to be their mother. It will only cause them to resent you. Let your sisters share in this burden, for it is theirs to carry as well. Do not overlook the resource the Good Lord has given you in them. I dare say you will find them much more capable than they are often given credit for if they are given a chance.

The curate at the church I attended as a girl was fond of telling us that the Good Book told us to pray to God for wisdom should we be in need of it. But if we did that, then we needed to prepare to listen to the voice that God would send to deliver it to us. For often, the Good Lord, in His wisdom, will choose to speak to us in voices that we might not otherwise be prepared to hear. So it might be with you, my dear. I counsel you to seek the Lord's wisdom, and I will pray for you as well. But be ready to listen to those He might send to you to give you that wisdom. I have found that it seems our Lord has a sense of humor when it comes to such things. Perhaps it is sacrilegious to say such a thing, but I do believe it is so.

You asked me if you should tell your mother and father about what was said to you. By now, I am sure you will have already discovered that your mother already has heard for herself about the slight to your family. Such things only stay quiet in homes where the servants are very well managed, and I cannot imagine that such is the case at Netherfield right now. So the question now is not whether or not to tell her, but what to do now that she knows. If I am wrong, my dear, please tell me, but I do fear that I am quite correct.
 
If your mother has indeed received the news, then I worry that she might enter into a dark melancholia that may last for quite some time. If so, you girls will have to step up and act as mistress in her stead until she is well once again. This could be a very good thing for all of you, in truth. I have full confidence in your abilities and know that you will handle the task admirably if you involve your sisters. In doing so, you will not only prove your mother's deepest fears wrong, you will also show the neighborhood the worth of the Bennet girls.
 
You may wonder why I fear this response from your mother. There was a time long ago, when you were very small, when your mother received a similar shock, and it sent her above stairs for many months. She could not recover from the distress.
 
You see, when she married your father, most thought all the advantage of the match was on her side. Your father faced no small amount of criticism choosing to marry a tradesman's daughter. Few thought her capable of being mistress of an estate, and even fewer still thought her accomplished enough to guide the daughters of a gentleman. Few understood that her liveliness and inborn understanding of people and how to put them at ease was exactly what your father's reticent nature needed.
 
There were a couple, that you do not remember, I am sure, who were most critical of her. One dreadful evening, she was told that she would fail in raising you girls and that you would all end up starving in the hedgerows because no man of quality would ever have any of you. Her confidence was broken, and I fear she has never fully recovered. I am certain that this latest shock will put her in mind of the previous one, and she will react similarly.
 
But Lizzy, my dear, I believe she has done much better than even you realize she has. You will all rise to this challenge and prove yourselves admirably. If there is anything I can do to help, you know I am always available to you.
 
As for your father, I am certain if your mother knows anything, she has told him as well. He may not have said anything to you, but I am sure he is aware. What he will do with that information, I do not know. Your father has always believed that you girls have been given good principles and will do what is right when you are given the choice. He has never wished to control any of you as his father did him. I know right now you may feel he has done too little. He hates confrontations and often retreats from them, you know.
 
But he loves you all very dearly, regardless of his faults, and wants the best for you. Be patient with him, dear, for one does not learn how to be a parent from books. You never knew your Bennet grandparents. I will not speak ill of the dead, but I will say they did not give him a picture of how to do that task well. I must believe he is doing the best that he knows how, even if he is not perfect.
 
As difficult as it seems right now, I do believe that all things will work together for good. It may not seem today, but someday you shall look back at these difficult days and be grateful for all that has happened. Please do not hear this as idle encouragement. It is a truth that I have found over and over, I have gained much more during the difficult times than I ever realized in the midst of them.
 
I look forward to your next letter, but for now, I must go, for your uncle's sake!
 
Your loving aunt, MG

That evening, after a dinner at which Mrs. Bennet did not appear, Elizabeth's father requested her presence in his study. Keeping her aunt's letter in mind, she followed him back to the bookroom that held so many pleasant childhood memories for her. She watched as he sat heavily in his large overstuffed chair, a weight clearly upon his shoulders.
 
"What troubles you, Papa?" Lizzy sat down beside him, on the large footstool at his knee.
 
"Oh my dear Lizzy, you, of all your sisters, always know when I am burdened. I am glad you are here, child." He chewed his lip a moment, staring at the ceiling as if wondering what to say. "You have seen your mother this morning, and I imagine you have put together that she is very unwell."
 
"Yes, sir. She has told me of the shock she received in town, and I could see how affected she was. I do not expect that she will be well again anytime soon." She pressed lips together, almost having betrayed Hill's confidence.
 
"Yes, I drew that same conclusion as well. There was a time in the past when she had such an experience, and it took her months to recover." Lizzy silently nodded. "I fear I need to ask something of you and Jane."
 
I am sure Aunt Gardiner was right! "We are only too happy to help, Papa. What can we do?"
 
He sighed deeply and patted her hand. "Your mother has never been confident about being mistress of my estate. She understands people and entertaining and the social side of life, things I have no skill in. However, she has little head for management or numbers. When I tried to ask such things of her in the past, it only caused her deep distress. So I have seen to it that much of the management is done by Hill or myself, and she does not have to face it. Do not criticize me for this, child. I have tried other ways, and they were not successful."
 
Quietly she bit her lip and nodded for him to continue.
 
"I do not wish for her to find this out, as it would only add to her dismay and impede whatever recovery has occurred. The timing is very bad."
 
"Timing of what, Papa?" She shifted uneasily on the stool.
 
Wearily, he looked at her, his blue eyes suddenly seeming very old and tired. "I rarely have to travel out for business, but find right now, I must. Your Uncle Phillips and I must make a trip into Kent very soon, and I fear we will be gone at least a month. I have tried to postpone the trip, but I cannot." He raked his hand roughly through his hair. "I have no steward, and Hill cannot manage everything on her own. I had thought to have one of your uncle's clerks in to help, but that has fallen through as well. So now I must turn to you girls. I must ask you and Jane, as the eldest and most sensible of my children, to take on the necessary tasks in my absence.
 
"The spring planting is finished, so there should be little concern over the farm. But I will need help with the correspondence, sorting what should be sent on to me and what can wait. Those things I do in your mother's stead also need to be managed. Hill will need to be supervised as will your sisters…"
 
Lizzy turned to him, a question clearly on her lips.
 
"Yes, child. I also know about the Carvers. I shudder to think how you heard of his slight, probably from the man himself if I know him. I know you do not approve of the way I have handled Lydia, and I imagine you wish to ask what you should do with her." A shaggy brow rose high.
 
"Something like that, sir." Lizzy nodded.
 
"She is your mother's daughter, Lizzy, as you are mine. Your mother did well enough for herself, so I trust that your sister shall as well." He laughed self-deprecatingly. "She has, today, received an invitation from Mrs. Forster to travel to Brighton with them. Given all that is going on right now, I have given her my permission. I think it would be best not to put you in conflict with her. I fear she would be nearly impossible for you to live with if I deny her the trip."
 
"But do you think it wise?" Her brows knit in concern.
 
"Do not make yourself uneasy, my love. Wherever you and Jane are known, you must be respected and valued; and you will not appear to less advantage for having a couple of -- or I may say, three -- very silly sisters. We shall have no peace at Longbourn if Lydia does not go to Brighton. Let her go then. Colonel Forster is a sensible man, and will keep her out of any real mischief; and she is luckily too poor to be an object of prey to anybody." He sighed enigmatically. "At Brighton she will be of less importance, even as a common flirt, than she has been here. The officers will find women better worth their notice. Let us hope, therefore, that her being there may teach her her own insignificance. At any rate, she cannot grow many degrees worse without authorizing us to lock her up for the rest of her life.''
 
They shared a sad little laugh. "Oh Papa!"
 
"I am sorry to put this burden on you, Lizzy." He squeezed her hand warmly.
 
"I am glad to help, Papa. I find I have grown bored in my idleness recently."
 
"That is my Elizabeth. You always know what to say to me." He patted her cheek. "Go then, my dear. I need some time to gather my thoughts. Come join me with your sister in the morning after breakfast, and I will begin to acquaint you with what you shall need in my absence."

Ch 20: Bear one another's burdens

Posted on 2010-11-01

Lizzy's early morning walk was spent pondering the many revelations of recent days. I always knew Mama seemed to do little in managing the household, much less anything to do with the estate at large. How curious that I never really considered why that might be. How ill that speaks of me, I suppose. From her hilltop vantage point she gazed down through the fog at her home, sighing. I have been unaware of so much, despite being in the center of it all. To think Papa understands Mama's limitations and has taken it upon himself to bear her burdens, and we never knew. He has done so much for her comfort and I never saw! To think I believed myself so astute and observer!
 
How much he must value her liveliness and ability to manage society for him. I wonder…is that why he has always avoided London--to shield her from the criticism Aunt Gardiner told me of? Certainly he dislikes the demands of the Season, keeping company does not suit him, but still, perhaps there is more to it than I first believed.
 
Stretching, she rose and brushed the dust from her skirt. The morning sun, in golden rays, began to burn the fog from the landscape below. I feel like I have been in a fog, unaware of what has been going on around me. Everything seems to look so different now. How much more is going to change still?
 

Breakfast began as a quiet affair; neither Jane nor Lizzy spoke, relishing the opportunity to consider their own thoughts. Mr. Bennet buried himself in his newspaper, as if unaware of company, muttering to himself occasionally as he read. Suddenly heavy footfalls pounded down the stairs. Mr. Bennet peaked over his paper toward the doorway, deeper creases appearing on his brow.
 
Lizzy cringed as she heard her youngest sister cry from the foot of the stairs, "Lizzy! Jane! Have you heard my good news! I must tell you! It is so wonderful!"
 
Soon Lydia's beaming face peeked into the dining room as she bounded in to join her sisters at the table. Moments later, Kitty, her eyes swollen and face blotchy, quietly made her way in as well. Lizzy and Jane exchanged concerned glances as the younger girls sat down, Kitty pointedly sitting beside Lizzy, as far away as she could from Lydia.
 
"I cannot wait to tell you! You will never guess!" Lydia gushed, bouncing in her seat.
 
"She is going to Brighton," Kitty spat, pouting with a bitter glare toward the youngest girl.
 
"That was for me to tell, not you! Now you have gone and spoiled it all. I do not understand why you cannot be happy for me." Lydia crossed her arms and scowled at her next eldest sister.
 
``I cannot see why Mrs. Forster should not ask me as well as Lydia,'' said Kitty, "though I am not her particular friend. I have just as much right to be asked as she has, and more, too, for I am two years older.'' Her small hands balled into tight fists, shaking with frustration.
 
"Is that not the point?" Lydia rolled her eyes. "You are not her particular friend. But I am." She cocked her hair with an insufferable air of superiority.
 
"Lydia!" Lizzy rebuked sharply, glancing quickly at her father. He said nothing, but shook his head behind his paper. He does not approve! I wish he could bring himself to say as much.
 
Jane placed a soft, restraining hand on her youngest sister's arm. "Lyddie, it does not do to be so unkind."
 
"Unkind? I am not being unkind! I am only speaking what everyone already knows. Mrs. Forster likes me above everyone else. She could only invite one friend to go with her, and it is clear that it should be me. I am, after all, the most lively, agreeable companion of all of us, am I not?" She looked up innocently at Jane, despite the elder girl's evident disapproval. "Mama has always told me so."
 
Kitty scowled, eyes filling with tears. Awkwardly, Lizzy reached out to take one of Kitty's balled hands in her own. Slowly her hand unfurled and she grasped Lizzy's larger hand with her pin-pricked fingers.
 
"Kitty hardly knows what to say to the officers and is so often tongued tied; how merry is that?"
 
"It is only because you never stop talking. If you would take a moment to simply breathe, perhaps someone else could have their share of the conversation!" Kitty snapped back squeezing Lizzie's hand hard.
 
"But everyone is so entertained by my stories! I am only being an obliging guest…"
 
"Lyddie, perhaps it would be wise for you to listen…" Jane calmly admonished.
 
"Wise! What do I care about wise? That is dull and drab, Jane!" She rose from her chair and danced behind her sisters. "I wish to be merry and bright and winsome and gay!"
 
Finally Mr. Bennet looked up from his paper, scowling. "That will do, Lydia. You would do well to sit down, this is not a ballroom."
 
The elder girls turned to stare dumbfounded at their father. I have never heard him rebuke Lydia so.
 
"How droll you are, Papa!" the youngest sister laughed as she returned to her chair. "Surely you do not object to my excitement for you told me that I might go! I have been invited to Brighton! Where all the regiment is going! To Brighton!" She sighed happily as she picked up a piece of bread and reached for the jam.
 
Clearing his throat, Mr. Bennet looked intensely at his daughter. "I am beginning to fear that you will never be easy till you have exposed yourself in some public place or other."
 
Stunned, Lydia had no answer for a long time. Finally she laughed. "What a good joke you have made, Papa! You know very well I want no such thing! How can you speak so? I only wish to enjoy myself as Mama would tell me to do." She turned her eyes to Kitty and looked down her nose. "I will take every opportunity to do so. While you will have to make do here, with only our sisters to entertain you."
 
"Oh!" Kitty shook with pent up emotion. Finally she could stand it no more and bolted from the table. Lizzy dashed after her.
 
"See what you have done, Lydia? You have hurt her feelings." Jane's sharp reprimand fell on deaf ears.
 
"She should not be so sensitive." She shrugged and turned her attention to her meal.
 
Sighing, the eldest sister rubbed her temples, stray locks of blonde hair falling loose around her face.
 
"Do not fear, Jane. We can be assured that your sister will not have a better opportunity to prove her silliness to all around her, and we can never expect her to do it with so little expense or inconvenience to her family as under the present circumstances.'" Mr. Bennet looked severely at his youngest child who did not seem to notice. Frowning, he rose and with a glance toward Jane added, "I will see you and Lizzy in my study when you are finished here."
 
After her father had left, Lydia set down her cup and looked at Jane. "I do not see how I have said anything so very bad. I only spoke what everyone thinks already!"
 
"Oh Lyddie," Jane sighed painfully, pressing the bridge of her nose against the threatening headache. "Perhaps it is that you do not truly understand what everyone is thinking."
 
Kitty made it to the landing before Lizzy caught up with her. Reaching out to the younger girl, the elder pulled her into a wordless embrace. The affectionate gesture broke the little composure Kitty had left, and soon she was sobbing in Lizzy's arms. Carefully, the older girl led her sister to the sitting room Lizzy and Jane shared.
 
"She is so horrible!" Kitty sobbed as Lizzy pressed a handkerchief into her hand. "Why does she have to be so awful?"
 
Jane should be here, not me. She always knows what to say. Gently, she rubbed Kitty's back.
 
"It is not fair, Lizzy. It is just not fair! Why does she get to go and not me? Lyddie is the one who is always shocking everyone with her boisterous ways. I try to be ladylike. I try to be like you and Jane. But it is she that gets invited and I must stay at home! It is not fair!"
 
"I am so sorry, Kitty. I know you feel awful…"
 
"Do you really know?" She turned an accusing eye on her elder sister. "No one compares you to Lydia, to your younger sister! Do you know how mortifying that is? She is the pretty one. No one ever notices me. She is the lively one. I may as well be a rock on the ground. Mama…" her voice faltered and she sobbed brokenly.
 
Lizzy pulled her into her shoulder once more. "I know, Kitty, I know how hard it is not to be Mama's favorite. It is not so difficult with Jane. She never lords it over me that she is the great beauty of the family, and Mama knows she will make the best match. But the truth is there, and sometimes it is very very difficult. We are not so different in that regard, I think."
 
Wordlessly, Kitty looked up to regard her elder sister. "You do understand. I never realized it before, but you do. Mama favors Jane just as much as she does Lydia."
 
Sadly, Lizzy nodded. "That is true. So we must stem the tide of malice, and pour into the wounded bosoms of each other the balm of sisterly consolation." Her words were serious, but her eyes twinkled.
 
Wide-eyed, Kitty accused, "You sound just like Mary!"
 
"Why, I suppose I do!" Lizzy laughed gently. "I am finding her to be quite the fount of wisdom these days."
 
"Truly?"
 
"Indeed. You know, perhaps Lydia's absence will be the perfect opportunity for all of us to console each other for our loss of the officers. You can stitch in peace, and perhaps we might all have our share in the conversation."
 
At this Kitty had to laugh. "I cannot argue with you there." Biting her lip, she timidly asked, "While she is gone, may I join you and Jane? I…I do not like to be alone so much."
 
"Of course, and Mary too. We would absolutely welcome you to sit with us whenever you wish." Lizzy was surprised to find her sister's arms suddenly around her neck.
 
"Thank you!" She pulled away, wiping tears from her face. "Perhaps this is for the best. Do not tell Lydia or Mama, please, but you know, I do not always feel so ready to be in company. I do not know what to say among the officers or even their wives.I know many girls do not come out until they are older than me. If you will have me with you, then I think I am glad to stay here with you."
 
"I am delighted to hear that, Kitty, and Jane will be too. I am sorry we did not think to invite you to join us sooner. I do not think we realized you felt unwelcome. It never was our intention to make you feel so." Sighing, Lizzy added, "Would you please forgive us?"
 
"Of course, Lizzy! I am so much happier now. How could I do otherwise?" She smiled, wiping the last of the tears away. "I hope you will not mind if I join you today. I do not think I want to be with Lydia as she packs her things."
 
"Of course, dear. I do not think I would wish to endure that either. I am afraid Mattie will certainly earn her keep today." They laughed a little sadly.
 

A short time later, Lizzy joined Jane and her father in his study.
 
"Ah, Lizzy, I am glad you could finally make it here. I trust Kitty is sufficiently recovered from her disappointment." Mr. Bennet raised an inquisitive eyebrow at his daughter.
 
"She is well enough, Papa. Although Lydia's gloating is hard for her to bear."
 
"Well, at least she can take comfort in the fact that it will be of short duration, for I believe Lydia is to leave on the morrow. Although I would not be surprised if she makes their departure later than they desire." He paused, uncomfortably. "I imagine you have already spoken to Jane about why you are both here."
 
"I have not, Papa. I thought it would be best for you to explain." Lizzy replied levelly as she sat down beside her sister.
 
What do you know, Lizzy? Jane's fair brow creased with the unspoken question.
 
"I suppose that is well enough. If I had wanted news to be broadcast, it is Lydia I should have told, no?" He laughed to himself. "Well then, where to start?"
 
Jane shifted uncomfortably in her seat, looking from her father to her sister and back again. Finally her gaze settled on the pile of journals and ledgers on her father's desks, books that she did not recognize.
 
Uncertainly, he cleared his throat. "I know it is unusual, but I find I must be away on some important business, and I need to leave very soon. The trip will be of some duration, so I must make sure things are taken care of here while I am gone."
 
"Where are you going, Papa?" Jane gently asked.
 
"Kent, with your Uncle Phillips. That is why I cannot ask him to act in my stead." He paused, pursing his lips thoughtfully. "As you have noticed, I am sure, your mother is indisposed, and may be yet for some time to come."
 
"Surely you do not believe she will continue to keep herself above stairs for so very long, do you?" the blonde girl protested, looking to her sister for support.
 
"I am afraid I do, Jane. I am sure you already know of Carver's slight to your sisters." He waited for her nod. "She has taken that very hard, I fear. It will be some time for her to recover."
 
"I do not understand. Surely such a thing…"
 
"It is not a small thing to her, Jane." Frowning, he shook his head sadly. "No it is not. Sadly, when we married, there were those who questioned her ability to raise you to be the ladies you should be. She took that criticism deeply to heart, and now hearing what Carver is rumored to have said, she feels it all very deeply. That keeps her to her rooms right now." Wearily, he rose to walk to the windows and look out over the lane in front of the house. "The sad truth of the matter is that her family's background in trade left her unprepared to be mistress of an estate.
 
"Although she tried, much of it was truly beyond her. Your mother has always excelled in social skills, but she has no head for numbers, nor management. To ask her to engage in those tasks was to drive her into despair.
 
"So I chose not to. Between Hill and me, we do what needs be done, leaving your mother only to fulfill the social obligations of visiting and entertaining. These things, she does very well, and I do not."
 
Jane blinked several times, deeper creases lined her brow as she fought to grasp what she had been told. "He has spoken of this to you already, Lizzy?"
 
"Only a little," she confessed, "and certainly not enough that I felt I could explain it all, even to you," Lizzy shrugged slightly.
 
"While I am gone, I need you girls to take over for me, particularly with regards to running the household. There should be little of concern on the farm. Lizzy, I would ask that you keep abreast of my correspondence and send on that which needs my immediate attention, and save the rest for my return." He glanced across his desk as if trying to decide where to go next.
 
"I would be happy to do so," Lizzy quickly assured. "You will, of course, explain…"
 
"Yes, yes, have no fear, I will get to that." Although his tone was a bit brusque, Lizzy recognized it as merely his feelings of being overwhelmed by what was before him. He pressed his temples as if trying to rein in his thoughts. "You will need to acquaint yourselves with these." He gestured toward the books on his desk. "These are the household accounts and the records of dealings with the merchants and tradesmen in town. You will find Hill has been quite meticulous in her record keeping." Returning to his desk, he lifted two books, handing one to each daughter.
 
Timidly, Jane opened the cover and started to read.
 
"Papa," Lizzy looked up from the pages of the ledger, "can you please explain to me these entries. I am afraid I do not understand them clearly."
 
"Ah yes, the joys of double entry bookkeeping!" He laughed sardonically."Where would we be without Pacioli, the dear monk who taught this to us all?" Carefully he sat down beside his daughter and patiently explained each of the journal entries.
 
Quietly, Lizzy absorbed her father's instruction, feeling vaguely guilty at the joy she felt at learning something so new and so useful. From the corner of her eye, she caught Jane's intense expression as she, too, concentrated on her father's words.
 
Though he said nothing Mr. Bennet observed his daughter's reactions with interest. Lizzy has already grasped this and I believe Jane has as well. They are both so intelligent and quick. While I have never wished them to be anything but my daughters…no point in that thought. I hope I am not ruining them for their husbands some day. Their young men will need to be singular gentleman to revel in wives with such great understanding. I pray this does not come back to haunt us all later.
 
Several hours later, they rang for Hill to bring in a tray for luncheon.
 
"I never realized how much had to be kept track of!" Jane exclaimed in wonder, stretching and rubbing the back of her neck. "No wonder great men have stewards and secretaries to help them in their work!"
 
"Is it not fascinating?" Lizzy's dark eyes sparkled with excitement.
 
"You do seem rather taken with this." Mr. Bennet laughed, the first genuine laugh he had enjoyed all day. "What is more, you appear to have a natural head for this sort of thing. Perhaps it is best if we leave such things for you. I have a feeling, Jane, you would be much more comfortable managing our affairs with the merchants and tradesmen."
 
"I would indeed! At least there I feel as though I know what I am talking about." Jane gracefully poured them all tea.
 
For several minutes, none spoke as they made quick work of the welcome meal.
 
"What of the tenants?" Lizzy finally asked, thoughtfully chewing a mouthful.
 
"Their quarterly rent has been collected and the planting is done. There should be no concerns you need to attend…"
 
"But who looks after them?" the dark haired girl pressed determinedly.
 
"They are quite able to look after themselves." Mr. Bennet shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Is this about Lady Lucas and the Blacks? If it is that significant to you, visit the tenants, learn of their concerns, do what you must. Your mother never had the constitution for such things, nor do I have the ability to follow up with them. I have enough on my desk already, and you may very well find you do as well."
 
"Yes sir," Lizzy softly conceded.
 
"But if we have time, once these other things have been done, then you would not object?" Jane offered a little timidly.
 
Raking his hand through his hair and smiling a little indulgently, he replied, "No, I would not. But I fear that you will have little time for such things with all the responsibilities I have placed before you."
 
"We shall be fine, Papa," Jane quickly assured, reaching out to squeeze his arm.
 
"Indeed we shall. May we also call upon Mary and Kitty for help?" Lizzy glanced at Jane, seeking her approval.
 
"Do you actually believe they can be useful to you?" Shaggy eyebrows shot up.
 
"Actually, I do. I have recently found Mary to be quite the fount of good sense and industry." A wry smile crept across Lizzy's face.
 
"That is most singular!" He rested the side of his face on his fingertips. "If you can find your younger sisters useful to you, then by all means, make them active young women. That alone would make my trip worthwhile!" He chuckled to himself. "All the more reason for Lydia to go to Brighton, for I doubt there is anything you could do to make her useful."
 
"Do you really think it wise for her to go so far with only Mrs. Forester for companionship?" Jane timidly asked.
 
"I trust Colonel Forester. If he can command a regiment of militia, surely he can keep one young woman under control. He has, after all, done a good enough job with his wife!" He laughed cynically. "I know you do not fully approve of Mrs. Forester, you do not have to tell me. She is a young thing, and still given to flirtation. But it will come to nothing. She comes from a good family and will follow at least some recognizable lines of decorum. I trust that Lydia will follow her in that.
 
"Is it not better for her to be there, with some woman to follow after, than for her to be here with you, underfoot and hampering your efforts? Truly, would you wish to add controlling your sister to your lists of obligations? I know she is quite unlikely to do as you ask, and you would need to press her on nearly everything."
 
Jane drew a breath to protest.
 
"No, I cannot ask that of you, either of you. Let Lydia be Colonel Forester's problem while I am gone. I am asking enough of you already." His firm tone ended the discussion.
 
With a slight frown, Jane merely nodded.
 
"Now I imagine you have questions you would like to put to Hill. She has been made aware of my plans. Shall I call her in?"
 
"I would like that very much," Lizzy quickly answered. Jane agreed, drawing a deep breath to steel herself for another deluge of information.
 
Mr. Bennet called their trusted housekeeper into his study, and they spent the remainder of the afternoon reviewing the management of the household with her. Once they were finally dismissed, both girls trudged wearily upstairs, their heads too full to make conversation. Both retreated to their rooms for much needed quiet and contemplation.
 

Author’s Note: For the sake of the story, I have made some changes to canon here. Specifically, I have changed the kind of entail that the Bennet's property is under from a strict settlement to a fee tail entailment. You can read more on that in this paper. The death of Collins' father has just taken place, making Collins the new heir, and papers need to be signed because of it.

Ch 21: In his heart a man plans his course*

Jane and Elizabeth took breakfast in their sitting room the next morning. Sighing, Jane ran her slim, long-fingered hand over the household journal her father had entrusted into her protection. "Oh, Lizzy." I cannot believe this turn of events.

"What is it, Jane?" Lizzy carefully poured two cups of tea. "You look so troubled."
 
"Do you really think Papa's idea is a good one?" Jane sipped her still steaming tea cautiously.
 
"Sending Lydia to Brighton?" Lizzy's brows rose high as she laughed uneasily. "I can appreciate his desires to make things easier on us…" But I fear what Lyddie will do on her own.
 
"No," Jane giggled, shaking her head. "But I cannot disagree with you. Lydia alone among all those red coats is a sobering thought." She smiled ruefully. "But what I meant is that I can't help but wonder if we should truly be attempting to run things in his stead?"
 
"Surely you are joking!" Setting her teacup down a bit more loudly than she intended, Lizzy rose and wandered to the window. "Other than managing his correspondence for him, he has asked us to do nothing that is so exceptional." I fear we should have been doing this long ago.
 
"But it was too difficult for Mama." Jane's dainty lips pressed into a frown. I wish I had your bravery and boldness.
 
"Is that what you fear, dearest, that we will not be able to manage?" Lizzy's countenance softened. You do not give yourself enough credit.
 
"Does that not worry you?"

"No, in truth, I find that I am exhilarated by the challenge. But you can hardly be surprised that I should say such a thing." Pushing a stray dark curl, she laughed self-deprecatingly. "Mama has always said that I have a most unladylike sense of adventure. How ironic is it that I should embrace such a ladylike exploit!"I wonder if Mama knows what Papa has asked of us. I wonder if she knows how much he does in her stead. Surely she does not.

Gracefully, Jane joined her sister and laid a soft hand on her shoulder. "I know, I have heard her say that many times. I am sorry. I cannot imagine that it has been pleasant to hear that over the years."
 
"I have learned to ignore it. I cannot be you, and little else would please Mama." The sadness in Lizzy's eyes shone through her attempt to smile. I cannot believe I just said that! I never meant to speak that aloud! Most especially not to you.
 
Jane sighed heavily. "I know she has always favored Lydia and me. Have I told you how much I hate it, how horrible it makes me feel to hear her say such things? I know Lydia seems to revel in Mama's attention and holds it over you and Mary and Kitty. But for me, it grieves me like nothing else. To see her ignore and disparage the things that I so value in you and in them, it breaks my heart." A silent tear trickled down her cheek. I hope you do not secretly hate me for it.
 
"Please do not cry. I hate to see you so upset. You are not responsible for Mama's behavior. Do not feel guilty for it. That was one thing Aunt Gardiner wrote in her letter to me, that I should not take on that which was not mine. Perhaps her advice is correct for you as well. You cannot control what Mama says, so you should not feel guilty for it." She handed her sister her handkerchief.
 
"I know you are correct, Lizzy. But I am not so sure that will make it any easier to listen to." Reluctantly, Jane returned to their breakfast, and Lizzy followed. "So then, what are we to do?"
 
"What the mistresses of other great houses do, manage the household." Lizzy shrugged, buttering her muffin.
 
"You say that as if it is nothing," Jane insisted, wringing the handkerchief in her hands. Surely it cannot be as simple as you are making it out to be.
 
"Women all over the country do it, so it cannot be such a remarkable task," Lizzy countered practically. "Do not forget, there are four of us to put to the duty that usually only requires just one." She laughed gently her brows rising with challenge.
 
"Do you think Mary and Kitty will…"
 
"I have no doubt of it. You were quite correct, I have neglected them until recently, and I am deeply sorry that I have. They are far more capable than I ever gave them credit for. I am certain they will be anxious to make themselves useful." Suddenly a noise outside caught their attention and both girls cringed.
 
"Mattie!" Lydia's shrill voice echoed in the hall way. "Mattie where are you! I need you now!" Both sisters turned toward the door, waiting to see if she would burst in. "You have forgotten to pack these bonnets!" Pounding feet thundered down the hall. Moments later, the sitting room door flew open. "Jane! Lizzy! Why are you not helping me prepare? Mattie seems unable to do anything right and I must be ready when they come! It would not do to anger Colonel Forster." Their youngest sister's face was red and she panted to catch her breath.
 
The elder girls sighed to each other. "Were you not packed last night?" Lizzy's brows knit as she tried to remember. "I distinctly remember hearing the cheer go up when you at last closed your trunks."
 
"I was, but I did not like the way she folded my gowns and I am determined to do it better." Lydia crossed her arms and stamped her foot lightly. "Where is Kitty? She should be helping me. You all should be helping."
 
"She is not your servant, Lyddie," Jane reproached gently. "Nor are we."
 
"But she shares my room. She ought to be helping me! It is not fair. She has nothing better to do with her time anyway. It is not as if she is going anywhere." She looked over her shoulder, down the hallway as if hoping to see her missing sister. "Why is no one helping me?"
 
"We have other things to do right now, Lydia. This is your trip and your responsibility. You were packed and ready yesterday. If you chose to disturb that, then it is your problem and your responsibility to fix, not ours." Lizzy declared firmly, turning back to Jane. Curb your tongue Lizzy, do not say any more or you will only prolong this outburst! She bit her tongue firmly.
 
Jane's eyes widened at her sister's sudden firmness. I cannot disagree with you Lizzy, but I am surprised to hear you standing your ground so. It is easy to follow your lead, but I am glad to have you to follow.
 
"You are just jealous and do not want me to go!" Lydia stamped again. "You are being horrible! You must come and help me now!" Hands on her hips, she leaned forward, pouting.
 
"Indeed we will not." Lizzy rose and slowly strode to her youngest sister. "The more time you waste arguing with us, the less time you will have to pack. In fact, the rest of us must go into town; we have some pressing errands that call us right away. So we will take leave of you now and bid you have a good trip." Beckoning Jane to follow her, she strode past her gaping younger sister.
 
Astonished, Jane did as she was bid, nodding to Lydia on the way out. The look on her face! I must be a horrible sister to be so satisfied by that! She thought we would bow to her demands!
 
"Do you know where Kitty and Mary might be?" Lizzy whispered.
 
"I heard that there was a new litter of puppies in the barn. They were both hoping that Papa might allow them to have one, so I would guess that they are there." Jane leaned in conspiratorially.
 
"Then we shall go there first." An impish grin lit her face and her eyes twinkled.
 
They quickly made their way down the stairs, their feet clipping the steps.
 
"What have we to do in town?" Jane chanced a bewildered glance at her sister. I know you do not lie well, so you have something in mind, but I cannot think what.
 
"Several things actually," Lizzy looked around for a moment before setting out for the barn. "I think we could benefit from a trip to the library. I know there are a number of domestic manuals that will instruct us on the management of our household."
 
"What a wonderful idea! I never thought of that." A brilliant smile blossomed across Jane's elegant features. "I would feel so much better with some advice to fall back upon, even if only in the form of a text."
 
"I hoped you would feel that way." A matching smile graced Lizzy's lips. "Then we are going to pay calls on all the merchants in town, acquainting ourselves with their wares and their prices. Economy is, after all, the virtue of a good mistress."
 
"You do seem to have this well planned already," Jane's brows rose archly.
 
"I am glad it is to your liking!" Lizzy laughed and peeked into the barn door. "There they are!"
 
"Lizzy! Jane!" Kitty called excitedly. "Come see them. They are so dear and Papa's pointer has had ever so many!"
 
For a few minutes, they admired the squirming puppies. "Jane and I are going into town, and we would very much like your company, if you are willing. Papa has charged us with a task and we would be very pleased for your help."
 
Immediately, Mary was on her feet, brushing the dirt off her hands. Kitty followed suit.
 
"I am only too happy to be away from the house this morning," Kitty grumbled.. "Lydia has been after me to do her packing for her, and I want nothing to do with it." She kicked the dirt with her toe. I am tired of her treating me like her maid.
 
"She told us as much. She believes you are being dreadfully unfair to her," Lizzy teased, eyes glittering.
 
"You do not think…" Kitty stopped as she looked up to see Lizzy's expression. She smiled broadly, relieved. "I am glad you do not think that I should."
 
"She unpacked everything. She should repack. She may be pretty and lively, but that does not make her mistress over us," Mary declared, crossing her arms over her chest. "So are you going to tell us what Papa has asked of you?" I cannot begin to imagine what Papa might want. I do not remember him every asking anything from us before. But Lizzy seems so excited, it cannot be anything dreadful.
 
"Come, let us walk, and we shall explain. It is a rather long story." Linking her arms with Mary and Kitty, Lizzy led her sisters down the road towards Meryton.
 
Jane lingered behind a moment, watching. Oh Lizzy, you will have us all rise to the occasion, will you not? Watching you, I actually believe we can do this after all. Shaking her head, she dashed to catch up with them.
 

Several hours later, Mr. Bennet stood in front of his house with his youngest daughter watching two carriages advance toward them.
 
"Here they come! Here they come, Papa!" Lydia exclaimed, clutching his arm excitedly. "In just a little while, I shall be off to Brighton."
 
Her father said nothing, his face molded into a severe expression.I do so hope this is the right choice for all of us. Do not disappoint me. You look so much like your mother, Lydia. I have scarcely been able to tell her 'no' all these years. I fear I have the same difficulty with you.
 
"But it is so dreadful, where are my sisters? Where is Mama? Why is there no one to see me off?" She stuck out her lip in a petulant pout. "Are they not happy for me?"
 
Mr. Bennet harrumphed quietly, rolling his eyes. Drawing a deep breath, he steeled himself. It is high time you hear this, though I doubt it will matter. "I believe your sisters are tired of your gloating and high handed ways."
 
She laughed shrilly, tossing her head. "Whatever could you mean, Papa?"
 
"Have you not been boasting of your trip to Kitty, even though you know it upsets her? Surely you did not miss what happened at breakfast yesterday."
 
"Oh that! Kitty is far too sensitive! Have you not said that yourself?" She looked up at him and he cringed. "She should be happy for me. If she had any true sisterly feelings for me, she would have helped me…" Lydia crossed her arms over her chest angrily.
 
"And when have you ever exerted yourself to be helpful to her?" He scowled at his youngest child. Have you ever thought of anyone but yourself? Perhaps this is not as good an idea as I had thought.
 
"But I am the youngest! They are supposed to help me! Oh, it is so unfair! Why does Mama not make…"
 
"Your mother is unwell, in no small part due to your…"
 
"Look! Look! They are here!" She dashed to meet the nearing carriage.
 
Rolling his eyes, he straightened his coat and stepped forward to greet Colonel Forster who approached on horseback. Perhaps now is not the time. It will wait until she comes back. Perhaps some time away from the comforts and ease of home will teach her some appreciation for what she has here. I cannot image that she will not be called upon to help Mrs. Forster in her duties. That should give her some education at least.
 

After Lydia's departure, the house fell into a quiet lull. Mr. Bennet retreated to his bookroom and settled in to reread several recent letters. Not long afterwards, he heard the commotion of a caller at the door.
 
"Mr. Phillips is here for you, sir," Mr. Hall, the butler announced.
 
Anxiously, Bennet jumped to his feet and rushed to the door. "Good, good, I am glad you are come, David." He shook his brother-in-law's hand firmly.
 
"It seems you have the house to yourself, Thomas." Phillips observed as he was ushered into the study and the door closed behind him. "Tell me, how fares Fanny?" He lowered himself into a chair.
 
"Not well, I am afraid." Thomas Bennet fell heavily into his favorite chair. "I am afraid she took Edith's chastisement very poorly."
 
"Aahhh," David Phillips sighed heavily. "I am sorry. For the little that it is worth, I did try to curb her enthusiasm to share the news with her sister. I remember all too well how Fanny suffered after Melissa and Percy attacked her so." she never has been strong since that day.
 
"I do not mean to be critical, but I do wish she had thought a bit more before speaking with my wife." Bennet chewed his lip thoughtfully.
 
"I know, I know. I told Mrs. Phillips that she is not to speak with anyone else about the subject, nor is she to bring it up with Fanny again. I have threatened her pin money over it, so I believe she will do as I ask. I will not allow her to be alone again with her sister for quite some time."
 
Mr. Bennet reached for the brandy decanter and two glasses. "I do not believe she has ever truly recovered from Rawls' death. It was truly awful to behold, despite the fact that some have said it was his just reward for treating his sister so."
 
"I will not second guess the business of the Almighty, Brother." Phillips shook his head as he accepted the proffered glass. "It was a sad business all around."
 
"Have you any news of our eldest sister?" Bennet sipped the deeply colored liquid carefully.
 
"No. Gardiner is the only one she ever kept in touch with after all that happened, and he has not shared news of her in well over a year now. It's a dreadful thing to be dead to your own sister." He took a deep draw from his glass, and then set it aside. "But let us speak of business," he reached for his satchel. I would like the opportunity to try and something to right here.
 
"Yes, there is plenty of that to be done." Bennet pinched the bridge of his nose wearily. "I have been rereading his letters just now. His father's death came as quite a surprise to him, and he says he hardly feels up to dealing with all the legal ramifications thereof."
 
"While I am sorry for his loss…"
 
"Do not be." Bennet removed his glasses and began to wipe them with his handkerchief. "His father was an ignorant, miserly man who the world is much better off without." I know that is a cruel thing to say, but for him it is the truth.
 
"I know he has long been a thorn in your side." Phillips frowned deeply. It does not so to speak ill of the dead brother.
 
"That is putting it mildly." He replaced his glasses. "That man has fought me tooth and nail every time I ever sought to improve Longbourn. 'It is a waste' he would say, and threaten to bring me to court." Raggedly, he raked his hand through his hair.
 
"So you have allowed the estate to…"
 
"To remain as it was when I inherited it. What choice did I have?" Bitterness dripped from Bennet's voice.
 
"I know there has been little until now, but," he handed his brother-in-law a stack of papers, "now there is some hope. If you can convince him, the new heir of Longbourn might right many of the wrongs done to you and your family."
 
Bennet began to look at the papers in his hand, brows furrowing as he read. These documents make my head swim! Finally he looked up shaking his head. "Tell me again why we are not just pursuing a simple recovery?"
 
"You could, if you truly wanted to, and we will use that as a last resort if necessary. But it is a mass of legal hocus-pocus, legal fictions the likes of which you would not believe. Blackstone himself calls them unmanly. But we will resort to that if necessary. They can take a long time though, and become expensive ventures." Phillips sighed, pressing his temples. "It is just good you did not accept a strict settlement and go enjoy those Seasons in London. For once your aversion to society has served you well. Taking the estate in fee tail instead is the only thing that allows us even this possibility."
 
"I knew I could not be so insistent upon my reclusive ways for no good," Bennet laughed a little grimly. Reflectively he sipped his brandy. "So, if we do not seek out the obvious remedy first, then what are you planning?"
 
"Collins has not signed the papers yet, so the entail may be renegotiated or done away with entirely. He has a generous living at Rosings now, enough to set him and his family up quite comfortably. What's more, I can hardly see his 'noble patroness' as he calls her," the lawyer rolled his eyes, "willing to let him set up a mere curate in his stead. No, she will insist that he remains close at hand."
 
"And under her thumb as I understand. He seems much like his father in that way, a lot of bluster but little sense." Poor man, I would not wish such a fate on anyone, to have such a father.
 
"We will use that to our advantage." Phillips rifled through the papers, looking for a specific sheet.
 
"You are not suggesting anything untoward, are you?" Bennet's eyes narrowed beneath unkempt brows. I will not be reduced to that level, even in this.
 
"No, absolutely not. Both principles and good sense forbid that. I would not compromise myself in such a way, nor would I risk the future of my sister and her daughters with a shady scheme of any kind." He turned exasperated eyes on his listener. If this does not work, their care may very well fall to me. I have every reason to want to see this succeed.
 
"I know, I am sorry. I do not mean to judge you ill when you are doing me such a favor. I just do not feel equal to this task, and I hate engaging in what I do not truly understand."
 
"I understand, but their welfare is as dear to me as it is to you, and I would not risk it." He sighed heavily, handing his brother-in-law another sheet of paper filled with writing. "This is our first offer. I will explain to him what I just told you regarding his position and his patroness. I will also remind him of the wrongs you suffered from his father. In the interest of righting these wrongs, I will offer him this proposal. In exchange for ending the entail and conveying the property to you in fee simple, you will mortgage Longbourn for this amount," he pointed to the number on the page, "and convey to him that sum which he may then use as he wishes. I will, of course, suggest to him that he can purchase an estate of his own with it, nearer his living."
 
"The benefit to him would be…"
 
"That he could begin to enjoy the fruits of his inheritance now, rather than later. That is part of the reason for the reduced value we are offering him. If we were to assume that you were to live to your own father's age at his death, or even Collins' father's age, I can show you the tables that suggest the value is very very generous. Moreover, if we consider all the lost income that you incurred because of the senior Collins' refusal to allow you to improve, it is clear that the advantage is truly on his side. I am even considering reducing the first offer further so that we can negotiate up and allow him the feeling of the upper hand." Phillips' earnestness was clear. "I will be happy to show you the calculations if you wish."
 
"No, I trust you. The question is, will he?" Bennet rubbed his temples hard. I dare not hope him to be more intelligent than his sire.
 
"I have worked with many foolish men over the years, and tried to convince them of what was truly in their best interest. The fact I am still in business speaks to my success with the endeavor. With so much practice, I have become rather proficient. I believe I have a good chance of working on him similarly." He laid the papers down.
 
"What does Gardiner think of our plan to repay the mortgage? Does he even think it possible? If it is not, then I would rather…"
 
"You would rather go after simple recovery. I know, brother, I know. I know how you hate conflict, but you must trust me that this way we have the best possibility of avoiding it." He withdrew a letter from his pocket. "This is Edward's latest missive. He gave me leave to have you read it as well. In it, he details his opinion of our plans. In short, with a few changes, he approves and thinks it a sound one. It is his opinion that the sum you have set back for improvements and the improvements you have planned will increase estate income significantly. Further, he has offered his help in the execution of your plans. He has contacts to acquire some of the things you need at especially good prices. Ever the business man, he even suggests a few possible investments for us to pursue that would generate additional income in paying off the lien. We have his full support."
 
"Well, then, what more could I ask? Is there anything else to be done?"
 
"Just make the final travel arrangements. Who will oversee Longbourn while you are gone?"
 
"I have given that task over to Jane and Lizzy. Lizzy will handle my correspondence and see that I receive anything pressing. There is little of concern going on with the estate right now, so they will mostly be responsible for the household. I believe they are well up to the task."
 
"They are most capable girls, I believe you are right. They will do you and Fanny proud."
 
"I just hope, when this is all over and done with, I may do them proud." Bennet sighed as he rose.
 
"I have every faith it will be so."
 

*PR 16:9