Love and Loathing
Part XI
Margaret's joy did not last long, for pleasant as the prospect of seeing Mr. Thornton was, there was the more urgent matter of her unreturned love for Mr. Brandan to occupy her mind. She dwelled on nothing else, and even Rachel who sympathized with her so completely almost wished for Mr. Smith to arrive to take her mind off of her sister's suffering. This was the only way she could acknowledge the wish, for her heart rebelled against wanting to see Mr. Smith simply for the pleasure of seeing him. She could meet him at parties, trade insults with him during dances, but she refused to believe that what she felt for him was warm enough to be called friendship, or even something else.
Meanwhile the social whirl continued as all the fashionable people of London vied with each other to put on the best entertainment in the lovely spring weather. There were dances, balls, parties, assemblies, strolls in the Park, and any other form of engagement the ton could imagine. The Hustons were invited to a great number, enough to please Mrs. Huston, for they were a respectable family, if not overly rich, and soon had many friends in Town.
It was on the morning after one of these, when her parents and sister had left to make some calls, that Rachel rested at home employed in making some sketches of the previous night that she knew would please Emma. She was feeling peaceful with no one to disturb her until a servant came in to announce that a gentleman by the name of Smith wished to see her. This was enough to ruin her calm, and with a voice as composed as she could make it Rachel asked to let him in.
He found her sitting perfectly still, her drawing materials beside her and the smile of a polite hostess on her face. She rose to greet him and express regrets that the rest of her family could not be there to receive him. He seconded the wish, not planning to tell her that it had been his object to find her alone.
After this topic of conversation, as well as the weather and the health of Mrs. White who was rumored to have fainted the previous night, was completely exhausted, they sat in silence, Rachel busy trying not to blush and Mr. Smith observing her intently. Even when they previously talked alone the threat of an interruption was always present and now without it they both felt slightly awkward. Finally, making an effort to be cheery Mr. Smith said,
"Come, it is lovely weather outside, as you so aptly remarked, and we shouldn't waste it by staying indoors. I propose a walk."
Rachel agreed, although slightly worried that her parents might be concerned, as they hadn't yet seen Mr. Smith who seemed to vanish whenever they neared. They had a pleasant walk, with little disturbance as it was not yet the fashionable hour for strolls, full of the same repartee that had filled their previous meetings, but Rachel seemed to feel something different about her companion. As they entered a small, shady side street Mr. Smith said suddenly,
"If you have no objection, as I am almost afraid you shall, for you always seem to have an objection to everything I say, we will rest a while. My leg bothers me a bit today," he gave a slight tap of his cane as if to draw attention to its necessity.
"Of course," Rachel agreed, the pleasant weather making her feel less argumentative that he implied she usually was.
They sat down at a small, ornate bench, sitting as far apart as possible and renewed their conversation.
"...Not at all appropriate in my opinion," Rachel continued, "Even in a crowded room the waltz can create an illusion of privacy that is completely improper between two unmarried people."
"Is it, indeed?" asked Mr. Smith softly. She didn't notice his tone at first, this being a topic on which she happened to have a rather stubborn opinion, and by the time she did, it was too late.
What occurred next happened so quickly that it was quite some time before Rachel could remember the events in the exact sequence in which they transpired, which was this. Acting by some mad impulse Mr. Smith drew her close and kissed her, rather scandalously. Then, she, functioning equally on impulse pulled away and her hand flew across his face, leaving behind an angry red mark, followed by equally stinging words,
"I wish terribly that you hadn't chosen to compromise me in that manner, for I was beginning to form a more favorable opinion of you, which I see now was mistaken. If any of my actions you interpreted as encouragement, I am sorry, and I hope never to see you again!"
She stormed way, trying to drown her confusion with righteous indignation and fighting back tears.
She had even less liberty to let them flow after she returned home, for Margaret came back at almost the same time, full of upset conversation,
"We visited the Richardsons, and I could hardly bear it! That awful Louisa! She spent the entire time talking of "her wonderful Mr. Brandan" and how terribly attentive he is. I didn't believe a word, certainly, but it was extremely vexing. I know you will tell me to be more patient, Rachel, and I do try, but I can't stand when she talks of him as if they were as good as married, you must see that. Mr. and Mrs. Richardson don't seem to have any objections, they are inviting him to dinner Friday next, and we are to come too, of course, so that shall be a chance to talk to him, although I'm sure horrible Louisa will monopolize him dreadfully!"
Try as she might Rachel could not listen to this indignant monologue. Her mind kept turning to the scene she had just left, agonizing over each event, each word she had spoken. Her initial outrage had cooled and while she could not condone Henry's...Mr. Smith's!... actions, she regretted terribly the pain she had had to inflict. He would surely avoid her company ever after, and she did enjoy his companionship, enjoyed it very much...
No! cried another part of her, it was not in her character to indulge in such reflections. What was done was done, and there were many gentlemen in the world as pleasant, and not as scandalous, as Mr. Smith, although perhaps that made them less pleasant... She must be the sensible one, could not, would not, sigh over someone she might never see again like some blushing debutante!
Still, the disturbing feelings could not be quenched, and long after Margaret left she sat in silence, replaying the morning's events over and over in her mind, until it was almost dinnertime and a note was brought in.
Rachel saw it was to her, from Mr. Smith, and
tearing it open read the following:
Madam:
I am terribly sorry for what transpired this morning. I expressed a shocking
lack of control, and regret my actions completely, insanely hoping that someday
you will find it in your heart to forgive me.
I leave Town tomorrow, and if it were within my power we would never meet
again, as you desire.
I remain your humble servant,
Henry Smith
The letter threw her into agitation and bewilderment that soon led to tears.
On Friday Margaret dressed with unusual care, turning this way and that in front of the mirror, adjusting her gown. Every curl had to be rearranged several times before she declared herself fit for the eyes of Mr. Brandan. When they arrived it was clear Louisa had taken equal care, although the effect, which dulled her beauty instead of accenting it, was far less pleasing.
All through dinner the air was rife with tension, which the elder generation, if they noticed it, did not comment on, and Rachel, being occupied in appearing less distraught than she truly was, could pay no attention to. Miss Richardson smiled and simpered, clutching at Mr. Brandan's arm, while Margaret, intent on showing how different she was, sat calm and quiet with only an occasional smile or comment. After dinner the ladies went downstairs, and Margaret, not being interested in participating in what little conversation there was, slipped away quietly to wander about the house in solitude. She noticed soon that Louisa must have done the same, for she heard her shrill voice around a corner, with another, deeper voice replying. Not wanting to eavesdrop, but nevertheless extremely curious, she pressed herself against the wall and observed the conversation.
Louisa stood next to a small table holding a single candle, with an expression of jealous adoration as she looked up at Mr. Brandan, who looked rather uncomfortable.
"Now, now, my dear," he was saying, "I do think it's dreadfully improper for us to be here, all alone..."
"What does propriety matter," sighed she, "When love is on the line!"
"Well...er...did you enjoy dinner?" he finished awkwardly.
"Not at all!" cried Louisa, wringing her hands, "Not with those dreadful Hustons there! One is as silent as the grave, as if our company wasn't good enough for her," she gave a short laugh, "And the younger is just completely insufferable. Not well-bred at all, don't you agree, my love?"
"Uh...yes...of course, darling, she is much too inquisitive! An exceedingly ill-mannered girl."
Margaret needed to hear no more.
A few days later Rachel found her sister sitting in the drawing room, extremely pale, a newspaper clutched in her hand.
"What is it, dearest?" she asked with concern as she saw the withdrawn, unnaturally calm look on Margaret's face. The paper was shown her by way of a reply, and Rachel was somewhat shocked to read in it the announcement of Mr. Robert Brandan's engagement to Miss Anna Preston.
"Oh Maggie!" She cried in surprise, "But who is this Miss Preston?"
"It does not signify," replied Margaret with the same forced calm, "None of it does. Mr. Brandan may certainly marry whomever he wishes."
"You must not hide your feelings," her sister entreated, placing a hand on her shoulder, "I know what this means to you."
Margaret gave pressed the hand affectionately, but drew it off, "I'm afraid you don't, Rachel. I have only realized it myself. Mr. Brandan's engagement means nothing at all to me." When Rachel's eyes begged her to continue she explained, "I don't love him, you see, I never really have. It seemed to me that I simply must fall in love and the opportunity presented itself in him, that is all. I feel nothing for him now, especially since I have come to the conclusion that I did not need to fall in love with anyone in London at all."
"Of course you didn't, dear."
"Because I was already very much in love with a gentlemen I'd left behind."
"Margaret!"
"Do not look at me so. My affections are really not so inconsistent; I am simply a very bad judge of them. But now that I know what my feelings for Mr. Thornton are, I shall do my best to change them."
"But why?" asked Rachel, desperately trying to follow her sister's train of thought.
"Because of Emma. I care for her too much to be a competitor to her. Her love for Mr. Thornton must run very much deeper than mine if it took her such a short time to realize it. I shall continue my efforts for their happiness, no matter how much it pains me."
"Maggie," sighed her sister, putting an arm about her shoulders, "You are very brave."
"Perhaps. But it will certainly take more courage than I possess to face him a week from now."
Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on how one wishes to look upon the matter, Margaret's courage was not tested so soon, for a letter from her friend, for whom she was so ready so sacrifice her happiness, informed her of the illness of Mr. Thornton's mother due to which he couldn't come to London. This led to understandably mixed feelings on Margaret's part, for happy as she was that she would not be forced to be calm and rational in his presence, she nevertheless longed for it desperately, and it took all of Rachel's exertions, made despite her own keen heartache, to keep her sister reasonably calm in others' presence.
The rest of the Season passed in this way, neither sister making much heed
to the social engagements going on about them, to Mrs. and Miss Richardson's
complaints, to their mother's excitement, and in short, to anything other than
the gentlemen in their hearts.
And so, just a few short months but a seeming eternity later their stay in
London came to an end.
Returning home necessitated several visits of leave-taking to all their friends in London, including the Kings. While their parents thanked their hosts for all that they had done, Margaret and Rachel had to say goodbye to an almost tearful Joanna King.
"I don't know how I shall bear life without you," she sighed, "You have been the truest friends I ever had." The sisters nodded sympathetically as she continued, "No one else has ever understood my plight, and now with you gone, I shall once again have to stand up to fortune-hunters alone!"
Neither of her friends could remember a great number of fortune hunters assailing her, but they did all they could to make feel her better.
"We will write to you," said Margaret encouraging, "And you must tell us all that goes on."
"I shall, my dear friends, as often as I can," Miss King said with a melancholy look, and then, their parents' conversation coming to an end, rose to bid them adieu with great decorum.
"Well!" said Margaret with forced gaiety on the morning after their arrival home, as they awaited a visit, "It will be lovely to see Emma again. I have missed her."
"Maggie."
"Oh, don't worry Rachel, I shan't lose my composure. Not even a tear! I have learned some things in London, you know."
"Maggie."
"Oh, stop it. I really do wish to see Emma, and find out how our neighbors are doing."
"All of our neighbors?" Rachel asked skeptically.
"All of whom she wishes to tell me. And to ascertain that her feelings for...a certain person...are unchanged."
"Are you sure? It won't pain you too much?"
"No one will know if it does. I am determined, Rachel. Self-sacrifice suits me very well, for I have read enough on the subject to be quite good at it, now that my expertise it tested. Now, here is mamma, I daresay Emma will soon come."
Their mother came in with a smile and sat down between them while Rachel puzzled over her sister's mood. She seemed so unlike the downcast, dejected girl who had left London a few days ago, and yet her sister's experienced eye could tell that she had been crying recently. She was calm now, however, cheerful almost, though it was clear the cheerfulness cost her, and for that Rachel had to admire her.
Emma came in soon, flushed from her walk and looking even lovelier than when they left her.
"I was so eager to come!" she cried excitedly, embracing her friends, "Mother took so long getting ready, that in the end I declared I was taking my maid and went off. She'll be here soon, though. Oh, dear Margaret, dear Rachel, it is so wonderful to see you again!"
Her friends smiled at her, forgetting their troubles in the pleasure of seeing her and they sat down together to talk of London, and local news, and everything else all at once.
"And how is Mrs. Thornton?" asked Rachel, seeing Margaret's wish to introduce the subject.
"Much better now," replied Emma, "She recovered a while ago, but it was too late for Mr. Thornton to go to London, and his business had to be conducted by letter." She did not blush at the name, or lower her eyes, but Margaret only thought that perhaps the object of her affection had given Emma encouragement enough to make her unafraid to mention him in company.
"Did your brother come yet?" she asked, "You mentioned him in your letters."
"Yes, a few weeks ago. Everyone's delighted with him, even Louisa, although she'll never admit it. And he has brought delightful news! It seems he has made enough money that he no longer fears being a burden to our father, which was why he left in the first place. Or at least so he says, although I'm sure it was his adventurous spirit that made him unable to stay at home. I have not seen him in so long, but I love him more than ever! You will come to see him, won't you? Tomorrow?"
"If you wish," Rachel replied with a smile.
They came the next day, and both families were glad to all meet together in familiar surroundings. They had tea, after which Emma asked the sisters to come with her to the music room, so that she might play them some new pieces she learned in their absence.
"You will find my musical abilities have increased dramatically," she laughed, sitting down at the piano, Margaret ready to turn the pages for her, "For there was not much else for me to do."
She played beautifully, and though she was always the most musical young lady of their acquaintance and neither sister thought her playing needed any improvement, such comments would have discomfited their friend and so they listened in silent admiration.
After a few songs Emma said, with strange agitation, "There was another piece I wanted to play for you, but I'm afraid I left it in the library. Rachel, could you please get it for me? It is on the little table on the right-hand side." Her blushes were disproportioned to the request, but Rachel took no notice and went to fetch the music.
She entered the library; a quiet, solemn room kept looking much the same for generations, and moved to the small, ornate table. It seemed empty, and she began opening the small drawer to check if the sheets hadn't fallen there when a too familiar voice interrupted her,
"Miss Huston?"
Rachel's hand left the drawer hand and flew to her mouth, as she stood rooted to the spot, not daring to turn around to find she had imagined the words.
"Miss Huston."
It was not imagination. Pivoting slowly she found herself looking into a pair of deep brown eyes, twinkling despite a grave expression. Her free hand was lifted and kissed, and dimly, as if through a fog she heard the words,
"Henry Richardson at your service."
Meanwhile Margaret and Emma remained in the music room, awaiting Rachel's return. Margaret noticed her friend wringing her hands nervously, and looking down, before saying,
"There's something I need to tell you, Margaret. You have always been my dearest friend, and while I love your sister, I'm afraid she won't understand me in this. I can barely understand myself!"
"What is it?"
"I know you have made it a special project of yours to throw Mr. Thornton and me together, and I want you to know that it'll no longer be necessary."
Margaret paled and asked in a voice she struggled to keep steady, "No longer necessary! Has there been some...change...in your relations, then?"
A deep blush was her reply, "No! Nothing of that kind. I...and Margaret, I do fear you'll think I'm terribly inconsistent...I don't feel for him what I once thought I did, so please cease your match-making."
Her friend, proud as she was of her composure, almost breathed a sigh of what could be called relief at the words, "Oh, I don't think you're inconsistent! I am hardly one to blame you for such a fault," she added, but without any further explanation, "And I am a bit glad of your feelings, I confess, for I've learned that love can be quite painful when unrequited." And indeed, she must be given credit for such a noble motive, even if it was not the only one she had.
"Margaret!"
"Pray, don't ask me, for I won't tell you. It is past now, and talking will do nothing but bring pain. Please, Emma, let us say no more of our hearts but that I understand you completely."
Rachel felt very faint, head spinning, heart not knowing which emotion to allow dominance. Raising a pale, distraught face up to her companion she managed to repeat in a trembling voice,
"Henry Richardson!"
"Yes," he replied with sudden passion, breaking away from her and starting to pace about the room, "I shall never forgive myself for the lies I told. What sort of blackguard would...! But you must allow me to explain," he added, motioning Rachel to a chair, "Though it can never excuse my behavior. I left the Navy, came back to England with the noblest intentions, and upon learning my parents and sister were in London, preceded there. I meant to call on them that very morning, had not a thought of deceit, when I saw you walking out alone. I knew you almost instantly, though you didn't recognize me, and almost revealed my identity, but something in you...I can't describe it...before I knew what I was doing I had given an alias. After that day I seized every opportunity to see you, though I risked being recognized by my relations, and yours. Believe me, Miss Huston, I wanted to tell you the truth, but when I saw that your dislike for me had lessened, I couldn't do it, couldn't risk losing your regard. Until that terrible morning, when I acted so infamously. That was the worst, worse than all my lies, you must believe that I am sorry for it, for all of it."
All during this speech Rachel sat white and silent, but when Mr. Richardson looked at her at the end of it with such entreaty she raised her eyes and gave him such a warm, relieved look, that his anger at himself abated somewhat and with a small, almost shy smile that Rachel was surprised she had never before recognized as Emma's he asked,
"I don't expect your forgiveness now, but if someday you find it in your heart..."
"You have it," she interrupted gently, "I forgive you, and must apologize in turn, for my initial dislike, and harsh words at our last meeting. Shall we forgive each other?"
Mr. Richardson nodded mutely, his desperate demeanor changing into one of equally desperate hope as, kneeling before her and almost reverently taking her hand he said,
"So now you know who I am. Henry Richardson, a man who has lied to you, betrayed your trust, but by some miracle still has your forgiveness. Dare he hope for more?"
"Yes," she answered in a whisper.
"Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"
"Yes, Henry."
There were several silent moments as they gazed at each other, reeling from such a sudden reunion that had brought equally sudden happiness.
"You seem strangely unargumentative today, love," he said finally, with a smile.
"Of course," Rachel replied, lowering her eyes meekly, "I shall be a very humble, obedient wife."
Henry laughed outright in response, "Somehow I doubt that. But tell me, oh obedient wife, are your opinions on ‘improper' behavior still the same as they were when we last met?"
"Please, don't remind me," she said, touching his cheek gently in remembrance, "All my opinions have changed remarkably since then."
When she returned to the music room Rachel decided to not to inform Emma and Margaret that it was necessary for them to wait a few minutes longer for her because she was being shown some benefits of improper behavior by her friend's brother.
Part XV
"How do you like Mr. Richardson?" asked Margaret when they were at home and alone, for he had joined them remarkably soon after Rachel's return.
"He is very agreeable," replied her sister, struggling not to laugh at the memory of her initial description of that man.
"And with a wonderful sense of humor. He is very handsome too, though not so much as Mr. Thornton, I'm sure. Speaking of whom," she glared at Rachel's sigh, "do you know what Emma told me after you left?"
"Obviously not."
"Oh, you are just like Mr. Richardson -- you will take nothing seriously. Alright then, I won't tell you what Emma said."
There were a few moments of silence.
"She said she no longer loves Mr. Thornton! I do believe she means it -- she talked of him with such composure, although she was afraid I'd think her flighty. Me! Isn't that wonderful news?"
"Of course," said Rachel, "Though I do think that you should ask his opinion before he changes hands again."
"His opinion is his own, and until he makes it known there is no use debating it," replied Margaret seriously, "But what's wonderful is that now I can love him if I wish, without fear of hurting Emma's chances." She paused a moment, then said even more gravely, "'Emma's chances'! How terribly I talk. You're right as always, Rachel, I have thought of him as an object to be traded between us. But I do love him, and I want him to be happy. I could make him so, I think. We've always been friends, although who knows how we've changed in these past few months. I do wish I could see him..."
"How awful that the season is over!" said Mrs. Richardson to Mrs. Huston as they were enjoying a most satisfactory walk in the wooded area between their houses, "There shall be nothing for our girls to do, and I daresay Henry will grow restless too. Speaking of him, have you thought about a match?"
"Not Margaret, surely," replied Mrs. Huston with a knowing nod, "They will simply exasperate each other -- one will wish to be serious when the other is grave, and so on. Besides, I saw absolutely nothing in that quarter. But Rachel..." she trailed off meaningfully.
"She's such a quiet girl," sighed her friend, "and Henry is so spirited. Could they suit?"
"She is only quiet in company," said Mrs. Huston, eager to defend her daughter from any possible insult, "But, it isn't up to us to decide their affairs, and they would be the first to tell us so. Young people nowadays!"
Mrs. Richardson smiled, "They are no different from what we were, twenty or thirty years ago, Maria. If you remember Augusta Clemens?"
"Ah yes, that lovely heiress who ended up marrying Mr. King's cousin. A clerk, if I recall. He's made a fortune now, but it was a dreadfully low connection for an Earl's daughter. But she wouldn't bear to be told of it!"
"Yes the very one. She manages her household with an iron will -- a Countess at heart. But that daughter..."
"Strange creature," said Mrs. Huston with a shake of her head, not understanding how a young lady could possibly not be seeking marriage in any way, "But it isn't our duty to judge. What do you say to a ball?"
"An excellent idea! Our children must have some entertainment. Let us arrange one together, and when one of our dear husbands complains, either of us can blame it on the other!"
"There is a rather grand assembly room in disuse at Feildings," Mrs. Huston said, thinking of more practical matters, "But will it be too far?"
"Nowhere is too far for a ball!" cried Mrs. Richardson and they set to planning.
"Not so hard!" winced Margaret as the maid arranged her hair, "You will tear it all out, and where will I get a wig on such short notice?"
"Well, I'm sure she won't tear out all of your hair," said Rachel moodily as she arranged her midnight blue gown in front of the mirror.
"I was only joking," replied Margaret, "And you are acting strangely today."
She received a look of the utmost dignity, "Acting strangely? Whatever gave you that idea?" The truth was that this would be the first Rachel would see Henry Richardson since a rather eventful afternoon and she was rather anxious, but as the engagement had to be kept a secret she couldn't breathe a word of it even to Margaret, and her anxiety could only steadily increase with respite lying several miles away.
At last the family was prepared and boarded the carriage, wishing to arrive early so that they could receive guests together with the Richardsons.
When they arrived at Fieldings they saw that the assembly room was indeed grand and full of that nervous excitement which always accompanies the beginning of a ball they ascended the stairs.
Mrs., Miss, and Emma Richardson greeted them at the door.
"Well, Maria," said Mrs. Richardson, "I do think we've done well. Mr. Richardson and Henry are inside, seeing to the refreshments, or so they say, although I'm sure they simply wish to avoid our dull female company. Mr. Huston may be excused to go join them, I suppose, and it will be left to us to greet the arriving guests. Speaking of which, why, there is Mr. Thornton and his mother!"
Part XVI
Mr. Thornton came up the stairs, a frail old woman at his arm. He did not look very much different from their last meeting, a bit more worried, perhaps. Margaret remarked to herself that he was really exceedingly handsome, and it was impossible to believe that she had never noticed it before.
He greeted them all. "Miss Emma has been a good companion these past months," he gave her a warm look that, despite it's holding nothing more than friendship Margaret couldn't help but be jealous of, "But I have missed the rest of your company. It is a pity I wasn't able to join you in London."
"Yes, it was," Margaret began, willing her voice to remain steady, "I trust...I hope Mrs. Thornton is feeling better?"
"Yes, she is," he replied, looking at the lady with concern.
There was a pause.
"Well, I suppose we better proceed inside," said Mr. Thornton at last, seeing the line of people behind him, "Miss Margaret, have you a partner for the first dance?"
She shook her head.
"In that case would you..." he stopped uncertainly.
Margaret shook herself out of her nervous silence then and said brightly, "Of course, Mr. Thornton. Mr. King! How do you do? Your niece is delightful!" Mr. Thornton had no choice but to step aside.
After her sister was claimed by her partner Rachel stood waiting, darting restless looks about the ballroom. At length the gentleman she had been looking for approached her, smiling broadly.
"Miss Huston! How are you this fine evening?"
"Quite well, thank you, Mr. Richardson," she replied.
"Would you do me the honor of this dance?"
Rachel lowered her eyes demurely and replied, "With pleasure."
Margaret and Mr. Thornton took their places, both feeling rather apprehensive. When her gloved met his, Margaret imagined she felt a thrill of energy running up her arm which she was sure she never felt before. She blushed profusely, and called herself every derogatory adjective she could think of but still couldn't raise her head to meet her partner's eyes.
"Well, Miss Margaret," he began at length, "How did you enjoy your stay in London?"
"Very much, thank you," she replied, and couldn't help adding, "But I am glad to be back."
"The country has been bleak without you," Mr. Thornton said softly, "And your sister, of course," was the quick addendum, with an accompanying furtive glance at her expression.
Margaret didn't say a word, but colored deeply. Then with forced brightness she cried, lighting upon a subject, "Oh, that is a surprising development! Louisa Richardson is dancing with Mr. Davies! Has she got over her heartbreak so soon?" Then she blushed again, for seemingly the hundredth time that night, as she realized the loudness of her speech. The two dancers were mercifully far away, but what if Mr. Thornton thought that London had turned her into a gossip?
"What I mean is," she tried to recover, "She did have her heart set on Mr. B..." would her face always remain this awful color? "...Brandan. And then he became engaged to Miss Preston. But I'm sure you don't care about all that silly London news," Margaret finished as derisively as she could.
"No, please do tell me some time," Mr. Thornton replied sincerely enough, but his request was so general in tone that she could only stay silent and deride herself thoroughly.
Meanwhile Rachel and Mr. Richardson also experienced a lull in conversation, but for completely, or maybe not quite so completely, different reasons. They gazed at each other silently as they moved through the motions of the dance, sometimes smiling at some silent message communicated in a nod or glance.
Once, Rachel shot a meaningful look at her sister and Mr. Thornton, noting the blushes and averted eyes of the pair. Mr. Richardson raised an eyebrow in reply, breaking the silence with,
"Of course, I would wish for everyone to have happiness equals to ours."
"I do wish we could share it with someone," sighed Rachel, "Is all this secrecy necessary?"
"Of course it is," he smiled, "What would people think if we announced our engagement the day of our supposedly first meeting?"
"They would be rather puzzled, and we couldn't tell them about what happened in London...you are right. It's quite unlike me not to think of such things."
"Being in love isn't known for being a condition advantageous to thinking, you know."
"In love?" she asked with a confused look, "But sir, I thought you knew I was only marrying you for your money!"
"In that case, my dear lady, you will be sorely disappointed."
"Well, in that case, I suppose you would do."
"I thank you, from the bottom of my heart," Henry replied dramatically, "For such kind reassurance of you affection."
Rachel laughed lightly, "I simply don't think a crowded ballroom is the place for reassurance of any other sort."
Margaret felt so very uncomfortable after her attempts at conversation with Mr. Thornton, which used to seem so easy and effortless, that to get her mind off of her situation her senses sharpened and she found herself hearing snatches of her sister's conversation as the two pairs of dancers neared each other.
"Is all this secrecy necessary?" "Of course. What would people think if...?" "...couldn't tell them about what happened in London...it's quite unlike me..."
She could hear no more as they were now quite far away, what did reach her ears caused much anxiety and confusion. As soon as the dance was over she hurriedly curtsied to Mr. Thornton and went off to think over the matter.
Part XVII
Margaret's sleep was troubled and full of confusing thoughts and by morning she had come to the conclusion that her sister must have compromised herself in some way during their stay in London and had chosen not to reveal it even to her closest confidante. She was hurt by this, but only slightly, and her worry by far exceeded her pain. It was such a pitiable state in which she found herself when the sister who was the object of her thoughts flung open the door and cried cheerfully,
"Maggie, I knew you would be awake, it's well past the time you usually rise. Mr. Thornton has invited us for luncheon, which I'm afraid will be rather soon. Get dressed!"
The prospect of visiting Mr. Thornton was one more anxiety than she was ready to face and the idea of seeing him in this uncertainty, and possibly under the shadow of scandal was repulsive to her. She had to ask Rachel for the truth first. Thus, Margaret begged to be excused because of a headache, and as soon as the rest of the family left she fell back onto her pillows, eyes closed tight against her troubles.
After lunch at Thornton Manor the guests decided to take a walk outside, for the air was quite warm for the time of year. The leaves beginning to yellow made a pretty sight and everyone had a pleasant time strolling about the grounds. Everyone, that is, except their host. Seeing his melancholy disposition, Rachel, glowing with happiness and wishing everyone to be likewise, came up to him and asked him what was the matter.
Mr. Thornton looked up quickly, and she could see that he was in a horrible state of agitation. However, he replied as cheerfully as he could, "Nothing important, Miss Huston, please don't concern yourself."
"I will concern myself," she answered, "Because I can see that you are troubled. Perhaps I can help in some way?"
Mr. Thornton shook his head, "I'm afraid only one person can."
"Well!" cried Rachel, "You simply must tell me, especially if my suspicions are correct. You know me, Mr. Thornton, I can be quite determined."
"Suspicions, Miss Huston?"
Rachel smiled slightly, "I'm not blind, unlike my sister."
Her companion sighed, "You do know. I have tried to keep it hidden, I knew it would give her pain if she knew but only saw me as a friend."
"It must have been hard," Rachel commiserated, "But surely you had some hope."
"Not very much. The few months before you left she had been avoiding me like the plague."
The reason for this was known to Rachel, of course, but she couldn't reveal it and simply nodded encouragingly.
"After your return I was determined to find out her feelings, once and for all. I had to know if there was a chance that someday... That was part of the reason I invited you here today. You must think me very foolish."
"I don't," Rachel replied, and hesitated thoughtfully. Then coming to a decision she said almost guiltily, "But perhaps, if you could see things more objectively, you would find her feelings to be everything you could wish."
The transformation this statement brought to Mr. Thornton's countenance was really quite amazing, she reflected. There was life in his eyes again, and hope. She regretted this breach of secrecy terribly, but something had to be done before those two came to a complete standstill because of their insecurities.
"Are you certain, Miss Huston?" Mr. Thornton cried eagerly.
"Completely," she reassured him, "But you're welcome to come tomorrow to ascertain it for yourself."
"Nothing could keep me away." They walked along for a while in silence, until Mr. Thornton said with his usual high spirits, "Now, when have you become such a matchmaker?"
"I'm sure I don't know," Rachel laughed, "Lately, I'm constantly surprising myself."
"And so am I. I don't believe I spoke more than two sentences altogether at the ball yesterday, a most unusual occurrence!"
"One we should be glad of," said Rachel archly, "while it lasts."
It was so contrived by fate that Margaret was not able to fulfill her wish of speaking to her sister about her suspicions that day. Even at bedtime she couldn't broach the subject, for when she stepped into Rachel's room she found her hurriedly sealing a note, which disappeared upon Margaret's entrance. However, after another night's sleep reduced by worry, she was determined to know the truth, and acted on this determination immediately after breakfast.
"Rachel," she asked, trying not to seem nervous, "Would you take a walk with me? I feel much better now, but it would do me immense good." No one looking at her pale face could deny this and after dressing for the cool morning air the two girls set off.
They walked on for a while, with cheerful conversation on one side, silence of the other. Finally Margaret interrupted her sister mid-sentence with,
"There's something of which I must speak to you."
Rachel looked with concern at her serious expression and asked gently, "What is it, dearest?"
"At the ball..." she hesitated, "At the ball I heard something which I know I shouldn't have, but now it won't leave my mind. Please, if there is anything you have been keeping from me...?"
Rachel's hand flew to her mouth, "Oh! What exactly is it you heard, Maggie?"
"You were speaking to Mr. Richardson, while you were dancing."
Her sister blushed furiously, "Goodness, what you must have thought... Well, the truth must be revealed now. It was hard to conceal it from you, of all people, but it had to be done. You see, Mr. Richardson and I...met in London and after we returned home he..." Rachel took a deep fortifying breath, "He asked me to marry him and I accepted."
Margaret stared at her in shock, "But why didn't you tell us?"
"It would have seemed very strange and sudden, and no one could know of our meeting before, for reasons I'd rather not dwell on. But everything will be well -- Henry will ask Father for permission soon, and we will marry." Rachel sighed joyfully.
Her sister gave her a somewhat watery smile, "Oh, I'm so glad for you! You love him, don't you?"
"Very much."
Margaret embraced her eagerly, "I know you'll be very happy! You deserve to be."
They spent the next few minutes talking excitedly, until Rachel asked to go inside for, as she confessed with a smile, she had a letter to finish writing.
"You go," Margaret replied, "I think I will walk some more."
After Rachel left she paced about restlessly, trying to sort her thoughts into some semblance of order. She was very happy of course, but the happiness was tempered by inexplicable loneliness and a feeling almost like envy, which she tried very hard not to feel. Rachel would leave now to start her own family, she thought, and what will become of me?
She was so caught up in these reflections that she almost didn't notice a gentleman coming up the path towards her.
Part XVIII
When he approached Margaret looked up and immediately recognized Mr. Thornton. She was so startled that she didn't move forward to greet him, but simply gazed up at him with anxious green eyes.
"Miss Huston." he said with an unreadable expression.
"Mr. Thornton," she replied, and not knowing what else to say, added, "How did you get here?"
He chuckled slightly, "I didn't walk. I left my horse with the groom."
"Oh," said Margaret, attempting a smile, and blushed.
Mr. Thornton walked up to her, the sound of his steps seeming very loud in the sudden stillness, and took her hand in both of his. "Margaret," he said very seriously, "I must ask you something."
She went very pale, then blushed again, and finally whispered, "I don't know what to think. Please, explain what you mean, I'm so uncertain..."
Mr. Thornton smiled at her and asked as steadily as he could, "Will you marry me, Margaret Huston?"
Margaret felt tears streaming down her cheeks and wondered at them, for she was happier than ever before in her life. "Yes," she said with a sniffle, adding the word to the answer he could already see in her eyes, "How could you ever doubt it?"
Some time later, after a very blissful few moments, Margaret lifted up her head from its resting place on Mr. Thornton's shoulder as they sat on a bench they had come across, "I have been so very foolish this past year."
"How so?"
"I've been upset over such trifles! They seemed such agonies then, but now it is all so unimportant. I've interfered in things I shouldn't have, and I have been a horrible judge of character and my own feelings."
"Now don't condemn yourself too much, my love. It is my duty to protect you from such insults now, but while I might succeed against other people I'm not sure how well I'll do defending you from yourself!"
She smiled at him. "I fear we'll disagree every day for the rest of our lives."
"I don't think we will," Mr. Thornton replied with a twinkle.
"My point..." Margaret began, but was silenced quickly.
The quiet conversation that followed was extremely pleasant to both, but would sound rather repetitive if set down on paper. Suffice it to say then, that the event that interrupted Margaret's speech so abruptly was often repeated, everything discussed, and nothing decided on except that they would be the happiest couple that ever lived, and he would speak to her father that evening.
He did so, and was favorably received. Not many were surprised at the match and most were quick to congratulate them heartily. Henry Richardson's appeal to marry their eldest daughter astonished Mr. and Mrs. Huston a bit more, but to their credit they didn't let this prevent them from giving their consent, once they saw how much the two cared for one another. Two weddings took place that spring to finally, after overcoming many obstacles, bind Henry and Rachel and Mr. Thornton and Margaret together for the rest of their lives.
This business being so satisfactorily settled we now must turn to fates of the other characters that have graced these pages. Of Emma Richardson it must be confessed, that while she was genuinely glad she also couldn't help a slight tinge of jealously at her best friend's wedding. However, the bride's maid could not be miserable for long, for at the altar she saw Mr. Thornton's best man, a Mr. Jeremy Samuels, with whom she became better acquainted during the wedding festivities. They matched each other in good tempers and kind hearts, and Mr. Samuels found great pleasure in bringing forth her blushes. The course of true love ran quite smooth in their case and before a year was out they had their own best man and bride's maids to recruit.
The wonderful Mr. Brendan married the inconspicuous Anna Preston as planned, and she quickly became one of London's best hostesses. Everyone enjoyed the social events she held to the fullest, conveniently forgetting that before her marriage they found her really quite plain. Her husband was now rather superfluous and being left often to his own devices he took to drinking to excess, which ultimately caused his downfall. As for his entourage, some of them married and some did not and nobody much cared.
Joanna King finally found a man rich enough and blind enough that she was sure that he wasn't marrying her for her money or her looks, and they were both content in their own way.
Miss Louisa Richardson, meanwhile, once the dual shock of Mr. Brandan's betrayal and her sister marrying before her wore off, began to see things in a manner that might be considered practical and in an act of almost desperation (for she had now reached the awful age of twenty-two) she condescended to marry Mr. Davies. As Mrs. Davies she proceeded to give the most lavish balls and parties, until she had squandered their fortune and they were forced to sell their estate and move to London is disgrace.
This estate was very fortunately bought by the new Mr. and Mrs. Samuels and as they were now within fifteen miles of each other there was nothing to prevent the three sisters' happiness from being complete. Their families remained always on intimate terms, in spite of the Richardsons' frequent travels abroad (for even the sensible Rachel Richardson couldn't bear life completely without excitement or adventure), and though life was not always kind to them and such trivial matters as politics, finances, and children sometimes disturbed their peaceful existence, they always knew they could rely on each other.
And so with much love and laughter they all lived happily ever after.
The
End
© 2000 Copyright held by the author.