Beginning, Section II

Chapter 9

Posted on Monday, 18 September 2006

Jane sat in her room trying to write to Elizabeth. She was very troubled over the events of the past few days and finding it a struggle to reconcile all of it in her mind. The shock that they had all felt over the attempted rape of Elizabeth was nothing to the feeling of betrayal by her own mother and sister shortly afterward. Now Elizabeth was sent away until the furor had all died down. There were already signs of this as the announcement of Elizabeth and Mr Darcy’s wedding had just appeared in the Times. Harder to come to terms with was Papa’s actions regarding Mama. That he had put her in a bedlam was horrifying to say the least and she had not thought Papa capable of such and action. Even now Jane was beginning to feel tears building up as she thought of it. Poor Mama would she ever be allowed home again? Jane wondered. Now Jane and Mary had the work of Mistress of the house to contend with on top of organising the wedding. Jane was very daunted by the whole thing but she was determined to rise to the occasion and not let anyone down least of all Lizzy. Mary had been very diligent in dealing with the menus. If a little zealous in insisting on plain economical fare. Papa had said nothing even when Lydia and Kitty had complained bitterly that their favourite treats were no longer on the menu. Jane secretly thought that Mary was doing this on purpose to try and teach her recalcitrant sisters a lesson.

The two youngest Bennets were proving to be an even greater trial than ever before. Confined to the house and immediate grounds unless accompanied by Jane or Mary they were either complaining of the restriction, importuning their sisters to take them to Meryton for the silliest of reasons, or trying to sneak out and go there alone. Lydia had been caught escaping twice now and Jane thought that it was only a matter of time before she succeeded. Now with news that the Militia would be arriving in a couple of weeks their requests had increased dramatically until Jane and Mary were both extremely distressed by it. Jane prayed that a governess would soon be found and they could relax their guard. Tempers were frayed just this morning when Mary, who was controlling the household accounts, point blank refused to allow Kitty or Lydia any money as an allowance. She had deemed it proper that, with the removal of their former privileges, back to that of child status, no allowance was required as none had been given previously before they were ‘out’. Lydia and Kitty had stormed into Papa’s library ranting and raving and demanding that Papa put Mary in her place and make her give them some money. Papa had looked back at them implacably and when they paused long enough to let him have a word in edgewise told them in no uncertain terms that Mary was correct and they should accept the restriction gracefully or expect it to continue indefinitely. He informed them that until they could prove themselves worthy through good behaviour and diligence in any studies the new governess, when she arrived, dictated he would not allow them to return to society. The change in their demeanour was instant. Kitty burst into tears and ran to her room. She would not even come down for lunch and Jane had ordered a tray sent up to her. Lydia defiantly declared that neither Papa or the governess could make her do anything she didn’t want to do and stormed off to her room. Jane had not sent a tray up to Lydia as Mary had persuaded her that a little discomfort might make her see sense. After the younger sisters had decamped. Mr Bennet had looked at his two older offspring and favoured them with words of encouragement and praise that astounded both Jane and Mary. They had felt both justified in all their actions and encouraged to go on. Papa had added one request, however. He asked that his favourite puddings, bread and butter pudding and jam roly poly, be put back on the menu if it wasn’t too much trouble. Then with a smile he kissed each of them on the forehead and dismissed them.

That afternoon, Mr Bennet was as usual in his library studying some letters that he had just received. One from the Gardiners expressing their sadness at the recent events faced by the Bennet family and apologising for not being able to receive Elizabeth as requested. Mr Gardiner wrote that the family were slowly returning to good health and hoped that Elizabeth could join them at the end of the week if she preferred. Troubled at the thought of Elizabeth in her fiancé's home he had turned to Mr Darcy’s letter which said much the same but reassured him that propriety was being observed and that his own aunt and uncle had come to stay to chaperone and help Elizabeth in her shopping. He was also interested by the suggestions made therein with regards to his younger daughters, as, there were, it appeared, no suitable governesses of the caliber needed to keep Lydia and Kitty in check. Mr Darcy had made enquiries into alternative arrangements and had found a finishing school for young ladies in Kent which would be suitable for Kitty and a boarding school for girls in Essex where there was space available for Lydia. He apologised for not being able to find somewhere suitable for them both together but thought that Mr Bennet might consider that there may be some advantage in separating them. The places were available now, were being held for the girls and could be confirmed by express. They could start immediately. Mr Bennet smiled at the diligence and obvious intelligence of his future son-in-law. To have thought of such a solution, secured the places, discerned that separation was indeed the best course where his two youngest, silliest, daughters were concerned, was admirable and cheered him considerably. He set about writing his confirmation and later called Hill to his study with instructions to begin packing.

Later, as dinner was coming to a close and they were all finishing their jam roly poly. Mr Bennet took a sip of his wine for fortification and began to address his daughters. He began by informing them that no suitable governess had yet been discovered. Lydia immediately interrupted and crowed to Mary that she would just have to let her have her way now. Kitty looked on hopefully though not wishing to believe that her restrictions were over. Mr Bennet again sipped his wine whilst Lydia and Mary argued themselves to a standstill and sat glowering at each other across the table.

Jane looked questioningly at her father. “Papa surely you do not mean that to be an end to it? Mary and I cannot contain Lydia and Kitty unaided surely something can be done.”

All eyes turned to Mr Bennet.

Lydia declared into the silence, “of course nothing will be done, Papa will not restrict us now. None of this is our fault. If Lizzy will expose herself to danger by walking out alone she must reap the rewards of such actions!”

“Lydia!” gasped Jane in shock.

“That is where you are quite wrong, Lydia” stated Mr Bennet evenly only thinly disguising his anger at Lydia’s callousness. “I have today been informed that there are places available at suitable establishments dedicated to the education of young ladies such as yourselves. You will both be leaving in the morning. Kitty will be going to a finishing school in Kent and will remain there for a year. If I receive good reports of your comportment, Kitty, I will allow you home for the holidays. Lydia is to go to a school for girls in Essex. I believe that considerably more than one year will elapse before you may leave that establishment, Lydia, if your behaviour here today is anything to go by. “

“I won’t stay there!” declared Lydia defiantly.

“My dear if you leave the school without my express permission you will not be welcome here and I will not see you again!” stated Mr Bennet firmly.

Silence descended on the room as all took in Mr Bennet’s last declaration. Lydia sat white as a sheet for once completely dumb struck in disbelief. Jane, Mary and Kitty all looked at one another in shock as they comprehended the ramifications of Mr Bennet’s threat. Taking advantage of the lull in conversation. Mr Bennet rose. Bid them all goodnight and retired to his library for a restorative port. The girls did not remain long. Lydia fled to her room in tears and Kitty followed to comfort her. Jane and Mary spoke quietly about what had transpired both still too shaken to make sense of it. Then they too retired.

The following morning at breakfast Mr Bennet announced that Kitty and Lydia would leave directly after breakfast. Kitty was to travel to Kent in the company of Mr Phillips and Mr Bennet was going to accompany Lydia himself to ensure that she reached her destination. As they were finishing. The Bennet carriage drew up in front of the house. Mr Bennet and Lydia were to convey Kitty to the Posting Inn where they would meet Mr Philips. Then Mr Bennet and Lydia were to set off for Essex.

“Come Kitty, come Lydia get your pelisses it is time to depart,” said Mr Bennet.

Jane and Mary helped them with their wraps and followed them out. With brief hugs and a few words of encouragement they bade the party farewell and watched the carriage disappear out of the gate.

Chapter 10

Posted on Monday, 30 October 2006

Lizzy entered the hallway of Barlow House in the wake of Lady Alicia and Georgiana. They had all just spent an exhausting morning having fittings for new outfits including Lizzy’s wedding dress and trousseau. Elizabeth had now been staying at Barlow House for five days and much had been accomplished. The wedding shopping had mostly been completed apart from final fittings and a few trimmings. Elizabeth had succeeded in developing a friendship with both Georgiana and Lady Alicia who were both won over by her vivacious personality. The experience of shopping together in establishments, so much more elite than Elizabeth had been used to, had at first been a daunting experience for her. Lady Alicia and Georgiana had been insistent that she must have the best as Darcy’s bride and their good natured encouragement and humour over all the little embarrassments entailed in getting dress fittings had formed a bond between the women. They had attended the opera together and were to go to the theatre that night. Elizabeth was in good spirits. Her only worry lay with Mr Darcy himself. He had continued his attentions to her and she was becoming more and more uneasy about her reactions to him. She felt strongly attracted to him and had pushed to the back of her mind his transgression in colluding with her father over this arranged marriage. What she did not know, however, was whether this was love or just gratitude that was fuelling her desires. She blushed at the thoughts that came to her mind. How could she feel so wanton! She did not understand the feelings that overwhelmed her when she was with him. Perhaps she could arrange a quiet word with Aunt Madeline when they came for dinner tomorrow. A note had been received this morning declaring the Gardiners fit and able to see their niece and Mr Darcy had instantly dispatched an invitation for them to dine with the family on the morrow.

Elizabeth went upstairs to her chambers and collapsed onto the bed. She was exhausted. There had been so many outfits to try on this morning that she had lost count. She had never had so many clothes and still found it hard to believe that she would need so many.

A short time later, feeling energised by the brief rest, she rose and circled her chambers ending up in the sitting room. Once there she spotted a letter sitting on a silver platter on the sideboard. Intrigued she hurried over to the cabinet a picked it up.

“Oh my! At last a letter from Jane” She exclaimed delightedly to the empty room.

Lizzy quickly unsealed it and dropped to the sofa to relax and read Jane’s letter. The first page contained wishes and questions after her well being, preparations for the wedding and her and Mary’s management of the house. Curious, thought Lizzy, why are Mary and Jane handling this? As she turned the page the bombshells dropped one after the other. ‘Mama in a Bedlam! Kitty at a finishing school, Lydia at another girls' school!’ Elizabeth was flabbergasted at the changes wrought since her departure. Lizzy felt momentarily as if the breath had been knocked out of her so severe was the shock. Then tears began to fall unbidden. Her home had changed and would not be the same when she returned. No Mama, no bickering sisters. How she missed it all. She felt guilty for becoming wrapped up in her own preparations and plans and having given no thought to the problems of home.

Slowly a kernel of thought began to develop in her mind. Her father and Fitzwilliam had been communicating, she was sure of it. What did he know of this? And why had he not informed her? Grief began to be replaced by indignation. How could he withhold news of her home and family? She rose, a new determination within her to seek out Fitzwilliam and demand an explanation. She strode from her room and down the stairs. A footman passed her in the hall.

“Stevens.” She called

“Yes ma’am” He replied as he spun round to face her bowing as he did so.

“Where is Mr Darcy?”

“In his chambers I believe ma’am, would you like me to inform him that you are looking for him?”

“No thank you Stevens. That will be all”. Elizabeth turned round and bounded back up the stairs in a very unladylike and hasty manner. At the top she stood to catch her breath and tried to remember where Mr Darcy’s rooms were. She didn’t think of the impropriety of approaching him in his rooms. All she could think of was her need to get to the bottom of all these developments as quickly as possible.

“That’s the one!” she declared out loud as she spotted the large darker wood panelled door that marked out Fitzwilliam’s private sitting room. Without further thought she approached it and rapped loudly on the nearest panel. Within moments she heard footsteps and the door was swung wide open. Fitzwilliam stood there in his shirt sleeves and breeches plainly astonished to find Elizabeth on the threshold to his rooms.

“Elizabeth, what are you doing here?” he asked

“I must speak with you now. It is of the utmost importance.” declared Elizabeth in a tone that brooked no argument.

“Of course, just let me get my coat and we will go down stairs to the drawing room,” he replied, now becoming concerned at Elizabeth’s manner.

He turned and retreated into his bedroom to get his coat. Unbeknownst to him Elizabeth proceeded into the sitting room, closed the door and sat on the nearest sofa.

“Elizabeth! You cannot remain in here it is not proper for you to be in my rooms unaccompanied.” Said a startled Darcy as he returned to the room.

“Nevertheless, Fitzwilliam, I am here and I am not moving until I have satisfactory answers to my questions. They are of a personal nature and I do not wish for us to be disturbed.”

Darcy was becoming more alarmed but decided that it was better to acquiesce rather than risk upsetting Elizabeth further. She was obviously distressed and he wanted to know why. Once decided he sat in a chair across from her and indicated for her to begin.

Elizabeth handed him the second page of her letter from Jane and said

“I want to know how long you have known about all this, what part you have had in this and why was I not informed.”

Darcy took the missive and read Jane’s narrative about Mrs Bennet and the youngest Miss Bennets. When he had finished he looked up and was arrested by her eyes sparkling in the light and clearly furious.

“Elizabeth, your father wrote to me with your letter to me asking that I assist in procuring a governess for your younger sisters. He was most particular that this lady should be mature and strict. I have to admit that I singularly failed to find one and so began looking into alternatives. The schools that your sisters have gone to were discovered for me by my solicitors. I secured places at them and then offered them to your father. He had no hesitation in taking them up. As to your mother, I had no idea that your father planned to commit her to a hospital. I was informed in his last letter to me which I received 2 days ago. He specifically forbade me from informing you as he did not want you worrying about her. He felt that you had been through enough and wanted to save you the anguish. Although I agreed with him I was concerned about how you would feel when you did discover it as you now have.”

“Thank you Fitzwilliam” Elizabeth replied flatly when he had finished his narrative. She stood and approached him. Darcy jumped to his feet also. She looked up in to his eyes steely determination flashing in her own countenance. “If you remember, not long after my arrival, I asked to be kept informed as to decisions affecting myself. These decisions, made by my father, have a direct impact upon me and I would have wished to be informed immediately you were, regardless of my father’s wishes. You are supposed to be marrying me not my father and I will not tolerate such treatment.” She looked away tears beginning to form in her eyes. “I must be able to trust you Fitzwilliam,” She hesitated tears now beginning to flow “My life will not be worth living if my marriage resembles that of my parents.”

“Elizabeth!” Cried Darcy his voice filled with emotion, “I swear that you will never have reason to doubt me once we are man and wife”. He stepped forward and gently gripped her shoulders and turned her to face him. He took her face in his hands and kissed her gently on the lips which tasted salty from her tears. Then he kissed her remaining tears away as she looked sadly into his eyes. One arm travelled behind her back and pulled her into his embrace and he once again kissed her on the lips. Gently at first, then as he received no resistance, he deepened the kiss and explored her mouth with his tongue. Elizabeth responded in kind and leaned her body against his. She gave little moans or pleasure and Darcy allowed his lips to travel down her neck and onto the warm mounds of flesh above the neckline of her gown. Elizabeth’s eyes remained shut as she clung to him desperate for the sensations, that were taking hold of her body, not to end. She shivered in pleasure and began her own explorations with her hands and mouth of his hair and neck. She felt his hands travelling up and down her body and gasped when one grasped her breast. The moment was broken as reality entered their minds. Quickly they drew away from each other. Shock and self loathing filled Elizabeth’s mind as she turned and ran to the door. Darcy was too quick for her and leaned over her against the door trapping her against it in her attempt to flee.

“Don’t run Elizabeth. What troubles you so? We are engaged it is permissible to kiss. We are both passionate people it is bound to get the better of us now and then.” Darcy held her against the door and looked gently into her eyes.

“It is improper Fitzwilliam. Ladies are not supposed to enjoy men’s attentions. My mother told us when we were out that we had to catch husbands but that we must remember that wifely duties are unpleasant in the extreme and that we are expected to remain quiet and unaffected so that they will be over quickly. I am unable to remain quiet and unaffected with you. What must you think of me if I react so when you only kiss and caress me. I am genuinely afraid of how I might react when we are married and there is no restriction on our activities.”

“Hogwash!” retorted Darcy. “Of course you are meant to be affected by my loving you. It is not meant to be unpleasant Elizabeth. Ladies are meant to enjoy themselves too. Propriety has no place in the marriage bed or between us. I want you to react honestly to me Elizabeth. Do not try to hide you emotions. I want you to tell me what you want and like and I want to know when you are not happy.”

Elizabeth stared at Darcy in shock and embarrassment. She had never expected him to answer thus. Could it be true? She looked away in confusion and Darcy stepped aside, concern on his face as he wondered whether he had been too blunt.

Minutes passed and neither moved. Elizabeth was too confused to take action and Darcy was too concerned to think of releasing her. Slowly sense returned to his mind, which had been preoccupied in outrage at Mrs Bennet’s misguided instruction. He released Elizabeth and stepped back.

“Forgive me, Elizabeth, I should not have detained you. I needed to know what was wrong. Would you like me to check whether the coast is clear so that you can return to you rooms?”

Elizabeth looked up at him smiling tentatively in gratitude and nodded in acceptance of his offer. She stepped away from the door. Darcy quietly opened it and surveyed the corridor. All was clear and he motioned Elizabeth out detaining her only briefly to kiss her hand. Elizabeth held his gaze with her own momentarily before she turned and retreated to her own quarters.