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Chapter 22
Bella held her face up to the early morning sun. It was only 7:30 and it was already radiating such warmth that she knew it was going to be an extremely hot day. Even though her bed had been cozy and her thoughts untroubled, she had been able to sleep no longer and risen with a restlessness to be out and gone. Adjusting her backpack, Bella continued along the trail to the creek. She followed it down past the waterfall to the open valley where it fed the pond, which spread out to catch the sun, as flat and serene as on the other occasion, when she had painted the dark lake instead. She was not going to let the phantom of the midnight lake take over again. This time only the pond would be in her picture.
Not that the memories were not still alive and painful, but with the apology they had lost their edge. They were no longer all pervading. And it wasn't only the apology - it was D himself. His forgiveness, his soft smile, the way his eyes had warmed and shed their hurt, and most particularly, the promise of friendship to come.
The happiness she had gained diminished slightly as she thought of all that still lay between them, would probably always lie between them. But at least their relationship was on a better footing now, and with all the hope and optimism she could muster, Bella had to concede it was very possible that they could be friends, good friends. She just needed to keep her feelings under control. She loved D more than a good friend should - but there was no changing that; there wasn't anything to do but keep it to herself and not let him see it. She wanted nothing to destroy their tenuous friendship.
The more she thought about it, the more she had to admit that she had been wrong in thinking he was about to kiss her last night before Tess had interrupted. She now realised it was only her own desire talking - her intense wish for a repeat of that kiss she had experienced. When she was close to him, with his hand touching her arm as it had, all she could think of was the feel of his lips, the warmth of his mouth - not the confusion leading up to it, or the confrontation after, but the moment that she had fallen into so easily. The initial softness of his lips, the feel of his arms about her, and then . . . it was foolish to dwell on it - to even allow herself to think about it. She wanted his friendship and if she craved his every touch she would just be imposing another barrier. She had to hold tight to her love in some secret place deep inside - cherish it, but not feed it with impossibilities.
He had been about to hold her - give her comfort and nothing more - and she had to keep reminding herself of that. She could not allow herself to be devastated by his simple kindnesses. She had to face him, speak coherently, and keep her emotions in check - and then they could become friends. But oh - it was so moving, so exhilarating to hear his voice warm and soft in her ear and to see his eyes fill up with light. He could not know what he did to her - should not know. It was better unrevealed.
With that thought she began to paint - laying down a darker undercoat, and bringing in colour and movement. Her musings slipped into the background superseded by the delicate flush of light upon the water and the clean depths beneath it. The pond took shape, and then the lily pads, still raised up, slightly folded, curved towards the sun. The alders that surrounded the water and lifted their smoky-green leaves to the sky. Dragonflies droned over, resplendent in their brilliant blue, gliding across the expanse of water from clump of rushes to leaf to stem. Small fish broke the surface, rising to the low flying insects that skimmed the top of the water, and she caught those with brush and paint too. The world she entered left no room for contemplation or deliberation --it was a spontaneous reaction to the stimuli around her that formed the picture on her canvas. And in it she showed a fresh, young world; a new beginning, airy, light, and full of hope - the midnight shadow banished to the depths of the pond, escaping only in discreet patches surrounded by the warm, spreading light.
Bella stopped to eat and lay back in the shade of a young pine. The sun was now full and hot, the leathery circles of leaves were flat and flaccid upon the water. But she had caught the essence of the breaking day, so it no longer mattered. The picture before her was tranquil, but with hints of contained vigor. Not the sleepy, silent surface she now saw. Her paints were drying quickly upon her palette. She packed up. What little touches needed to be added she could do in the cool of her cabin, and then bring it to Aimee before 6:00.
She stopped again at the waterfall, pulled off her shoes and socks and walked into one of the pools beside the torrent. The water was icy - livening her heat-dulled senses. She sat on an up-thrust rock as the creek eddied and swirled around her, stretching her arms to the shattering water, taking strength from it. The course that lay ahead of her was still far from easy.
The first time she saw D on Monday, she felt that old tightening of dread deep inside, but he smiled and it melted leaving her vulnerable and shy, and for all her intentions to the contrary, she found herself foolishly unable to speak coherently. He accepted her stumbling words with another smile.
"Hi . . . how are . . . did you . . ." He had just as much difficulty forming a complete sentence as herself. After a few more attempts on both their parts, which left Bella blushing furiously, D recovered first.
"We're having a bit of trouble with the English language today." He grinned sheepishly.
Bella felt her heart turn over yet again with his look "Yes," was all she managed. She was going to have to come up with something better than that.
"Perhaps we should speak Chinese."
"Mandarin or Cantonese?"
D laughed. "Have a good shift." He touched her arm lightly as he left the classroom. It was fleeting, but it tingled upon her bare flesh and the memory of it stayed in that very spot long into the day.
Bella looked around and noticed everyone's eyes were on her. Alyson was smiling smugly and Cindy was giving her a high-five.
"What are you two so chipper about?" she asked to hide her embarrassment. It was silly to assume they had all been listening to her awkward conversation with their teacher, but she couldn't help it.
"Three more days of school," said Cindy evasively.
"Two," said Alyson. "You can't count today."
"And we don't have to do any real work," cut in Alicia. "We all know they've written the report cards already."
"They're done?" asked Rita. "Then why am I madly trying to finish . . ."
"Don't listen to Alicia," said Sarah. "You can still bring your socials mark up if you do the extra project so you can make the honour roll."
"Whew!"
Tuesday was the last writing club meeting before the end of school, and it really only consisted of finalising plans for the campout that was to begin the following Monday. When Bella had gone into the office that morning, Carla had handed her the registration list.
"We've got your entire writing group, including the boys, signed up," she said.
"Even though they can't stay overnight? But what about Jordan? I thought he had baseball."
"He has a tournament this weekend, but he only has practices next week so his mom will drive him back and forth."
"And she's going to pick him up for the night and bring him back in the morning too? What a good mom!" Bella scanned the list in her hand. "But you've got eleven kids registered - how'd that happen?"
"Well, the boys are only going to be there part time so Chance let another girl register. She was really eager."
"Tamsin? Who's she? She doesn't go to this school."
"No, she home schools. She came in the other day with her father to register for a summer program, and when she found out about the writing group it was all she wanted to do."
When Bella told the other girls about Tamsin, they were quite excited. They were all certain it must be the same Tamsin that had stories posted on line. Lise even remembered having met her the previous summer in a gourmet cooking class she had taken. But the thing that excited the kids the most was that Mr. Fitz' sister was to be the other counsellor. They were all eager to meet her and pelted Bella and D with questions about her.
D was in his usual spot, sitting at his desk finalising report cards with all the last minute marks. Neither he nor Bella had had an opportunity to talk together for more than a moment or two since Saturday, but there was no longer a barrier of pain between them and it showed. They were continually sending each other tentative glances and shy smiles. At times D put down his pen altogether and gave up the pretence of actually attending to the work on his desk. He was easily drawn into all the planning and conversations by his enterprising young students, who seemed not to have given up their hidden agenda as they had promised they would. If either Bella or D noticed their sly glances and sneaky smiles, neither of them alluded to it.
On Wednesday morning there were no classes. Classrooms were organised for the summer and desks were cleaned out. Bella arrived at 9:00 to help set the art equipment room to rights with her trusty assistants, Alyson and Cindy. At 10:00 was the year-end assembly with the awards ceremonies and grade 7 graduation. Bella felt tears come to her eyes as all her favourite kids said their last goodbyes to the school and received their diplomas. She was filled with pride that every one of her writing group had made the honour roll, and a number of them had won other awards too. Rita won the computer tech award - she had been the trouble-shooter for the computer lab, keeping everything running smoothly. Cindy was presented an award for editing the school newspaper and Alicia received an award for leading the debate team to the district championship. Jordan won the athlete of the year award, Alyson the citizenship award, and Sarah the academic award, with over a 90% average in every subject.
Most of the students went home with their parents after the assembly, but all the grade 7's and some of the younger students stayed for a hot dog lunch followed by the first annual grade 7's against the teachers baseball game. It was the quietest lunch Bella had yet to supervise with most of the teachers eating outside at the picnic tables and the children planning strategies for the game. The kids all begged Bella to join their team and she agreed amid calls of 'traitor' from June and Chance. She was to play shortstop, with Jordan pitching. D was to be the pitcher for the other team. The kids won the coin toss and chose to be home team, then ran out for a quick infield to be ready to face the teachers.
Cassandra arrived, dressed in a salmon mini skirt and spike-heeled sandals. She was arguing with Chance because he had provided lunch without her catering. "I would have served ball park franks with fried onions and all the other trimmings, just like at a major league game," she insisted. "Why wasn't I told we were playing baseball? I'll play second base."
"Dressed like that?" said Chance. "I can just see you diving for a ball."
"These are just little kids we are playing, Chance. How hard could it be?"
"You might break a nail. Why don't you help Adam keep score?"
"As long as I'm official scorekeeper," she said, tossing her head.
"If you get to do something, I should too," said Colin as he ambled over. "I ought to get some kind of reward for driving you here."
"Well we lost Bella to the kids so we could use you," said Chance. "If you take first, Phil can go out into right field, and Maddy can come in and be our coach."
"Right field?" Phil was not impressed.
"We need someone solid out there," said Maddy, winking at Chance. "We're relying on you."
June was leadoff batter and Jordan struck her out with his curveball. Chance tried to bunt his way on but was thrown out by Alyson. Carla hit one up the third base line and got a single. D was hitting cleanup. He took the first pitch and Carla stole second; Tyler's throw was wide - Bella was able to snag it but was too late with the tag. D unloaded on the next pitch with a line drive straight into Bella's glove. She just stood there holding it out, looking dumbfounded.
As they walked in, Jordan told Bella, "Good catch."
"Lucky catch, you mean."
"It could have been trouble. Next time he's getting nothing. High and inside for the rest of the game."
Alyson was up first for the kids. D threw her two fastballs for strikes and then set her up with an off-speed pitch that had her swinging early. Rita popped out to June at second. Bella was number three batter. She set her feet in the box and then made to stare down the pitcher. That was not only her undoing but also his. As she looked at him she almost forgot there was a baseball game going on and the ball sailed past harmlessly, low and outside. D didn't take his eyes off her. The next pitch was in the dirt.
Chance went up to the mound to talk to his pitcher who wasn't paying any attention to his signals. Bella saw D scuff the rubber with his shoe and shrug his shoulders. Chance walked back to home plate laughing and gave Bella a wink. He got into his crouch as she resumed position. The third pitch whipped past in on her waist and she didn't even flinch. She was too busy thinking how good he looked up there on the mound. Eric Davis, the umpire, called 3 and 0. All her team-mates were yelling at her not to swing at the next pitch, and D finally managed to get it into the zone.
"Okay. Two more like that, big guy," yelled Chance. "I don't think she's swinging."
The next pitch came straight for Bella and she ducked out of the way at the last minute. Unfortunately it hit her bat, bringing the count full.
Bella shook her head and tried to regroup. She was at a full count and she had barely been aware of any of the pitches. She planted her left foot and then set her right foot in position. She bent her knees and brought her bat back, and faced the pitcher again. But it was not just any pitcher - it was D. 'I can't let him get to me again,' she thought as she stared at him as if through a tunnel. She was sure she could see the green of his eyes all the way from home plate. D nodded to Chance and then threw from the stretch position. The ball blew by her before she had time to react, straight across the plate, 1/4 inch below her kneecap.
"Ball 4," yelled Eric Davis.
Chance turned to him. "It was perfect - right on her knees." Next time he was up to bat he paid for that remark.
Bella had to be told to take her base three times before she tossed her bat to the backstop and jogged to first.
"So who was psyching whom out?" asked Colin, chuckling.
"I'm not exactly sure," said Bella bemusedly.
When Jordan came up to bat, D overcompensated for all the poor pitches he had thrown to Bella and put the ball right in his sweet spot. There were two outs so Bella, aware again, ran with the hit. Collins dove after it ineffectually and Carla had to run into deep right to retrieve the ball while Phil floundered on the ground. Bella beat the throw to the plate for the first of the kids' runs. Jordan got caught in a run down between 3rd and home and ended up being tagged out by D.
The game had become serious. Children and parents were taking sides and cheering madly as the score stayed close from inning to inning. Cassandra was getting restless. Adam had refused to give up the scorebook and pencil. She watched him over his shoulder.
"Didn't that batter just go out?"
"Yes."
"Then why didn't you put an X on the box instead of a 4-3? That's not even the score."
"That's how he went out. Second threw him out at first. Do you really know how to keep score?" Adam looked at her scornfully.
"Of course I do. Look, that kid just struck out. Pay attention."
"I've already got it written down."
"That's just a K. Aren't you supposed to put an X in the box?"
"No," said Adam shortly. Then he turned to the game and ignored the rest of Cassandra's comments.
By the top of the 9th, the score was tied 3-3. Neither D nor Bella had a hit in the game. Jordan gave him nothing to swing at, but he wanted to hit. The result was he popped out twice; both times Bella fielded the ball. Bella struck out her next at bat, swinging at a ball in the dirt, and then hit a come-backer to the pitcher which D leisurely threw to first for the out.
In the 9th, D was more patient and got on on a walk. He stole second, knocking the ball right out of Bella's glove as he slid in. Tyler's throw had been right on the money. Bella fell over onto her butt with the impact. D stood up and held his hand out to grab hers, pulling her up to her feet.
"I'm sorry. I didn't hurt you did I? How's your hand?"
Bella looked up into his concerned eyes. He was so close. "I'm fine." She smiled rather shakily, but he insisted she take her glove off so he could see for himself. He turned her hand gently in his own.
"You're sure it doesn't hurt?"
"I'm sure." She put her glove back on and then caught the ball as Rita threw it in from centre. "See - good working order."
D still stood there right beside her, looking down at her, smiling softly.
"You didn't call time, your foot's not on the bag, and I have the ball," Bella whispered, but she made no move to tag him.
"Thanks," he said, reaching out with his foot to make contact with second base.
"Is everything okay?" called Jordan.
"Sure," said Bella, recollecting herself. She threw the ball to him and resumed her position at short, but that didn't mean that she was no longer distracted by the base runner only a few feet away.
Phil Collins struck out to end the inning, leaving D stranded at 3rd.
Bella came up to bat in the bottom of the 9th with 2 out. By this time she was a little more accustomed to staring to the mound at D and she gave him a wink as he was in his windup. The ball sailed over her head. The next pitch blew by her so fast she was just swinging at the wind it left behind. On the third pitch, she squared to bunt but popped it foul. Just as D was in his windup for the forth pitch, she called time and stepped out of the batters' box. The ploy didn't work. When she was set up again the pitch that came was nasty and she just managed to foul it off.
The kids began to chant, "We want a pitcher, not a belly itcher." Bella grinned at D as she faced him. He grinned back with confidence. She was expecting his fastball, but he threw his changeup and she just managed to hold up on her swing - 2 and 2 the count. On the next pitch, Bella surprised everybody by squaring to bunt at the last minute and dropping a slow trickler up the first base line that just stopped short of going foul. She was at the bag before Colin even fielded the ball.
When Colin joined her at first, he said, "Looks like you won that battle. You've got our pitcher good and rattled."
Unfortunately, she didn't have him as rattled as they both had thought. A few moments later, after she took to big of a lead off, she was picked off at first.
"That's a full nine innings and I'm calling the game," yelled Eric Davis. "The first annual Pember Elementary baseball extravaganza ends in a tie."
There was some cheering and some booing, but for the most part everyone was happy with the outcome of the game. Both teams congratulated each other and as they left the field, D caught up with Bella and walked alongside her.
She looked up at him. "You play to win, don't you?"
"I wasn't the only one playing to win." D smiled at her. "I've got to dismiss my class - could you stick around?"
"I'm not going anywhere," said Bella, feeling breathless suddenly despite all her resolutions to stay calm and collected. "I've got to wait for June anyway. She's my ride."
"Wait for me instead, I'll drive you." His voice was soft and earnest.
"Okay." Bella's heart was beating in her throat. She was unable to look up at him.
"Oh D!" called Cassandra, trying to walk gracefully over to them as her heels sank in the soft field. "Colin is taking Carla home and I'm stuck for a ride."
"I'm busy, but I'm sure you could get a ride from Chance," said D, walking quickly towards the school. "Or even Phil," he added wickedly. He looked over at Bella. "I'll see you later." It was said firmly, with a light smile.
Cassandra looked from one to the other suspiciously and then removed her sandals and stalked off the field, calling out to Chance to wait up as she went.
Bella was besieged by the girls who were tearfully hugging each other even though they would all be together again in a few days. This was their last day at Pember Elementary and they had become very emotional. It was even affecting Jordan who came over to Bella and very nearly hugged her too.
"Great game," he said gruffly. "You're an awesome shortstop."
"And you're quite a pitcher, buddy," she said, giving his arm a soft punch.
Jordan smiled broadly and his cheeks turned pink.
Alyson looked toward heaven despairingly.
"Wait till you say goodbye to Mr. Fitz," whispered Jordan. It was Alyson's turn to blush.
Bella went to see if Maddy needed any help, but was told to take it easy, so she sat on the front steps to wait for D. Colin soon joined her.
"You waiting around too?"
"Yeah."
"So, things seem to be going better between you and my cousin," he said.
"Now that I've finally apologised we can almost act like ordinary people around each other."
"Yeah - very ordinary people who aren't interested in each other at all." Colin smirked.
"Well, at least now we have a chance of becoming friends."
"Friends is it?"
"Why not?" She faced him accusingly.
"Have you seen the way the guy is acting today? I've never seen him more distracted. He couldn't even pitch to you. He could always stare down anyone who came up to the plate - the biggest, meanest sluggers you ever saw."
"So you think I still bother him . . . that he's having a hard time . . . putting up with me?"
"I'm thinking just the opposite, silly girl." He gave her shoulder a squeeze. "I don't think he wants to be 'just friends' any more than you do."
"What are you talking about?" She blushed.
"Well you as good as told me how you feel about him and he as good as . . ."
"You said he didn't say anything."
"He doesn't have to say anything. I can tell by the way he's acting. He's really shaken up."
Bella looked at him doubtfully.
"Okay, I'll stay out of it, after all, when I meddled before I messed things up good."
Bella wondered what he was referring to, but she did not want to enquire any further. If it was the time he kissed her - hadn't that only affected him and Carla? She sat uncomfortably for a moment and then changed the subject. "How're you and Carla doing?"
"Did you know she'll be working at the resort for the summer?" Colin grinned. "And I've got something even better to tell you . . . I offered her a permanent position and she accepted."
"You mean she's leaving the school to work at the resort year 'round?"
"No, a permanent position in my life." He was beaming now.
"Oh Colin!" Bella said, putting her arms around him and giving him a warm hug.
"I thought you promised not to chase after the ladies any more," said Carla who had just come out onto the porch.
Bella stood up and ran over to her and hugged her fiercely. "I'm so happy for you two."
"Well, no one else was hanging around waiting to propose, and I want to have kids before I'm past my prime," said Carla with a wink.
Carla and Colin left soon after that, but D didn't keep Bella waiting much longer.
"I told June you were coming with me," he said as he met her on the stairs.
Bella was stunned for a moment. She hadn't even thought of telling June. She really wasn't thinking straight any more.
"Thanks."
They walked out to his green Jag which was parked in the shade with the windows down. He opened the door for her and she slid into the car. The smell of the warm leather interior was even more pleasing than she remembered. She sighed and leaned her arm out the window. When he got into the drivers' seat, she smiled a little self-consciously and looked out the window. He drove from the parking lot onto the street before he said anything.
"So what are your plans until the camping trip?" he asked casually.
"I need to get out and paint. Aimee wants me to do a show in August and I have nothing."
"I'll keep Daisy on the other side of the lake so she doesn't disturb you, then."
"Daisy wouldn't disturb me."
"That's nice to know." He smiled and leaned back comfortably as he drove. "I still have to come to school tomorrow, for meetings and such."
Bella nodded. She wasn't sure what he was suggesting, if anything, and she didn't know what to say.
They drove on in silence, and when D pulled into her driveway, he turned to her. "Tess was hoping you'd join us for supper one night . . . how about Friday?"
"Um, yes . . . I'd like to see her too. Friday would be good."
"Then I'll pick you up about 6:00?"
"Sure."
"Wonderful." He got out and came around to open her door.
Bella could only sit and watch him as he walked in front of the car. Had he just asked her out . . . or had Tess? She took his proffered hand and let him pull her out of the car. It was strong and warm and she didn't want him to let go. They walked up the stairs together hand in hand and then he stopped by her door and looked down at her. "Friday," he said softly, and then he gave her hand a squeeze and let it go.
She stood without moving as he walked down the steps and got back into the car. She raised her hand in a little wave as he backed out of her drive, and watched the spot where her driveway met the road long after he had gone.
Posted on Tuesday, 15 July 2003
As Bella walked past the school on her way to the lake, she noticed the green Jag in the parking lot, between Chance's Jeep and June's little car. She wished she had a reason to stop by and take part in the meeting and she knew it was only because she would like to see D. Hear his voice. Feel the warmth of his slow smile. Nothing to do with any ideas she might have regarding school matters. She really had no excuse to attend, though. Her temporary job as art room TA was over. In September the real TA would be back - her broken leg mended. She was only a lunch hour supervisory aide now, and they didn't attend staff meetings. She sighed and hoisted the large canvas she was carrying under her arm. She needed to get out and paint, and that was just what she was going to do.
Four hours later she sat back and gazed at her picture. It was going well. The tourists who ventured off the trail to observe her had been very respectful and her mood had held through the most important part of painting, that of capturing the essence of what she was seeing and how it made her feel onto the flat surface. Bringing depth and colour to an empty plane. But all the while she had been hoping to be disturbed by a spotted whirlwind, even though she knew that it couldn't possibly happen. She looked at her watch - it was 2:00 - not a chance of seeing Daisy, or him, yet. She sighed; it just didn't do to think of D every moment. She studied her picture in an attempt to become immersed once again - mixed a clear, jade green and then hovered with her brush over her canvas until she realised that it was the very colour of his eyes.
When she was disturbed it was a soft, wet touch on her arm nearly two hours later. She turned in surprise to be greeted by quizzical dark eyes and a madly wagging tale.
"How did you manage to sneak up on me, sweetie?" she asked as she patted Daisy's head, and then she looked around for the inevitable companion. He was leaning on a tree not far from her, the filtering sunlight glinting in his dark hair. A smile slowly spread across his face, warming the intent expression of his eyes. Bella felt all her senses sharpen. She could feel the blood pumping through her veins, hear the light scuffle of Daisy's feet on the soft forest floor, and see all the little dust motes that floated in the shafts of light that shot through the branches between herself and D. He had come. She prayed she wasn't smiling like an idiot.
He leisurely walked towards her. "I hope you don't think I snuck up on you too," he said apologetically. "You were very engrossed in your painting. We tried to be noisy, I assure you."
He sat down on the rock beside her. He was so very close it was almost overwhelming. Bella breathed in the scent of him, felt her skin tingle at the thought of his leg almost touching hers, and once again her speech was incapacitated.
"You have this way of bathing everything in a warm light - those tree trunks - the bark is glowing - and the shimmering sections of lake that appear between the branches. How do you do it? I am always amazed at your paintings."
Bella looked up at him as he spoke, and then turned away, afraid that he would see her heart in her eyes. "Thanks." It came out as a whisper.
"Sometimes I think you sell yourself short. Do you even know how good you are?" He turned to look at her, but she kept her eyes lowered on her hands. "I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't be bothering you while you are working. We'll leave."
Daisy had her head resting on Bella's lap and was looking up at her with adoration as she stroked her ear. "Please don't go. I'm glad you came." Bella lifted her head and bravely smiled up at him. "I'm just a little shy about handling praise." 'Especially praise from you.'
"You shouldn't be - you deserve it."
"See, there you go again," she said, blushing.
"Okay. I promise to sit and watch you paint and never say how much I like it . . . at least I'll try."
"Would you like me to tell you all about how wonderfully you play guitar and how amazing your voice is when you sing?" asked Bella in an attempt to prove her point that left her blushing all the more when she realised what she had just said.
"Please do. I love to have my ego stroked."
"You do not." Bella laughed and all at once lost her shyness.
D stayed for about half an hour during which time Bella barely painted at all. They talked about Daisy, and the trees to be found in the woods, and other inconsequential things, and then he left with the promise to see her at 6:00 the next day, and a fleeting touch of his finger upon her cheek. She had to scrape dried paint off her palette and lay out fresh. She sat and stared at her canvas, wrapped in a soft cloak of happiness, and then began to transfer that feeling of comfort to her picture with little touches of colour.
The next day she spent the morning painting down by the creek, but was back at the cabin to eat lunch with June.
"I haven't seen my parents since Christmas." June was filled with nervous excitement. "I do hope they like Chance."
"How could they help it?" Bella laughed.
"I've never introduced anyone to them that I cared so much about, or brought a man home to stay for a week."
"He will have them eating out of his hand in five minutes," said Bella.
A reflective smile graced June's face. Her eyes were filled with light. "You're right. How could anyone not love him? If only my mom doesn't drive him crazy and scare him off."
"You think Chance will mind her falling over backwards to cook his favourite meals and see to his every wish?"
"She can be a little overwhelming."
"Your dad will keep her in line. Anyway, Chance is so laid back and he would put up with anything to spend a week with you - I think the only problem you'll have is convincing him to leave."
Soon the man himself was at the doorstep, in a hurry to load up June's bags and head off to Vancouver.
"Everything should be all set for your campout, Bella," he said as he kissed her cheek. "If you have any problems, just get a hold of Carla."
"I've got all the tents, and I'm going with Tess to buy the food on Sunday. I think we've got everything under control."
"I have complete confidence in you," he said as he slammed his door and started the engine.
Bella ran to the passenger side of the Jeep and gave June a final hug through the open window. "Have fun!" She waved until she could no longer see them and then went back into the cabin. She had four hours to go until D picked her up.
There was one important thing Bella needed to get done before going out to dinner. She went to her room and grabbed the two finished canvases that were propped against the wall, the one she had just finished the day before, and the one of Tess. The first was for Aimee, the other she was getting framed. An hour later she was back after waiting while the framer had quickly put a frame together. Aimee had only consented to the rush order when she found out it was for her cousin.
Bella slipped D's Counting Crows Storytellers CD into the player and turned the sound way up, and went to run a bath. She washed her hair and then had a half-hour soak in fragrant honeysuckle bath oil. Towel drying her hair took a long time, and when she was done, it still hung in damp wavy tendrils. She pulled on a pair of burgundy jeans and a dark green silk top and then sat in the living room, fluffing her hair to completely dry it. For all her dawdling she was still ready almost an hour early. The CD was on continuous play, and the songs were repeating for the third time. She sat on the couch and closed her eyes.
Waiting for you
All my sins . . .
I said that I would pay for them if I could
come back to you
All my innocence is wasted on the dead
and dreaming
Every night these silhouettes appear
above my head
Little angels of the silences that climb
into my bed and whisper . . .*
The normally driving rock song on this arrangement was sweet and tender, and brought tears to her eyes. Had she paid for her sins? Were they gone, floating off on a light breeze just as this song ended and the new one began?
All of the sudden she disappears
just yesterday she was here
somebody tell me if I am sleeping
someone should be with me here
(cause I don't wanna be alone)
And she didn't want to be alone. But could she dream, or were all her dreams futile?
I wanna be the light that burns out your eyes
'cause I know there's little things about me
that would sing in the silence . . .
Her mind drifted as the song played on, melancholy and haunting, but in some way the powerfully painful images helped fill her with hope. There was no rejection - someone was home, and more than that, reaching out his hand, saving her.
I wanna be the last thing that you hear when you're falling asleep**
The knock on the door woke her, and for some reason a thought echoed in her head, 'And the first thing you see when you wake up.' Suddenly she realised that D was here to pick her up and she had been dozing on the couch. She smoothed her shirt, shook her hair back, and got up to open the door.
"Hi. I hope I'm not early. Are you ready?"
"Um, yes, just a minute - come in."
She held the door open for him and then excused herself and slipped down the hall to the bathroom. Her reflection in the mirror didn't look too terrible. She tidied her hair and splashed cold water on her face, and after drying off on a towel decided she was ready to face him.
"Sorry about that," she said as she returned to the living room. "I sort of fell asleep on the couch. I'm ready now."
He smiled, put his hand out towards her and then let it fall. "You look great."
Bella felt she was going to lose control of her senses again. A little compliment like that shouldn't affect her so much. He held the door open for her and she was about to go through when she remembered the painting.
"Just a minute." She went into her room and came out with a large rectangle wrapped in brown paper. "For Tess," she said.
D held his hand out for it. "May I?"
He followed her out to the car and asked her to wait as he put it in the back seat, then he went around and opened the passenger door for her. As they drove off, Bella was still feeling a little awkward.
"Chance and I had our last meeting this morning, and now I don't have to think about school until the end of August," he said conversationally.
"What are you planning to do for the summer? Go away?"
He smiled at her and shook his head. "I couldn't go away," he said softly, and then he continued in a louder voice. "I'll be busy at the lodge quite a bit and I want to spend as much time as possible with Tess. And . . ." He let his voice trail off and smiled at her, his eyes shining in such a way that caused the hope that Bella had felt earlier to unfurl and send out tender leaves opening like butterfly wings. She smiled tentatively and he absently reached out and placed his right hand upon hers as he held the wheel with his left. It stayed there until he had to use his turn signal. They were both quiet on the ride to the lodge, but the initial flustered feeling that Bella had experienced had dissipated.
Tess ran out to the car to meet Bella, followed closely by Daisy. She was thrilled to be presented with the painting and couldn't wait to drag them both inside to open it. They went straight in to their private sitting room and then Tess could hold back no longer. Ripping the paper off the picture with a gasp of pleasure, she placed it on a side table to lean against the wall and stood back.
"Don't say anything nice about it - she doesn't like that," said D with a smug look at Bella.
"I'll say whatever I like!" said Tess. "Oh Bella, it's beautiful! Thank you so much."
Bella smiled and accepted a hug from Tess with pleasure.
"It is beautiful," said D. "Do I get a hug now too?" When Tess turned to hug her brother he winked as he took her in his arms. "I didn't mean you."
Bella blushed and Tess looked from one to the other. "I was wondering what I deserved a hug for," she said to D.
"You always deserve a hug," he said, and he let the moment pass. "So where are you going to hang it?"
"In my room, of course, and then I'll take it to university with me to hang in my res."
"I think it would look perfect in here."
"You would. Bella, I'm sorry, my brother is being a terrible host - would you like something to drink?"
"Yes, please."
"I picked up some soft cider for tonight," said D. "Would you like raspberry or apple?"
"Raspberry, thanks."
Tess sat with Bella on the couch, and when D left the room her shyness returned, causing Bella to lose hers completely in an effort to set Tess at ease again. By the time D returned with their drinks they were chatting comfortably about the campout.
"I can drive you both to Clinton on Sunday to do your grocery shopping," he offered as he sat in an armchair.
"We're capable of going on our own," said Tess. She turned to Bella. "Sometimes he is so overprotective." She giggled.
"I'm not being overprotective. You two are both going to be at camp for a week - it's just an excuse for us to spend more time together."
Tess looked at Bella, waiting for her response.
"Thanks. I'd like that."
"What if we go about 2:00, and then stay for supper, my treat?"
"Okay, but I was planning on stretching canvases in the evening, so I'll have to pass on the supper."
"I know you are perfectly capable of stretching canvases on your own, but I'd like to help, so how about we pick up a pizza and finish off the day at your place?" He smiled at her disarmingly.
Bella quietly agreed and Tess just sat and watched them both with interest.
Dinner was delicious. Bella and Tess sat side-by-side and D sat opposite them, encouraging their conversation, and alternately watching them with a pleased look or teasing them. Once they had finished eating, they stayed at the dinner table and spent a long time talking. Tess was eager to hear of Bella's experiences at college and compare them with D's UBC tales and her own expectations of what university would be like. She was a little nervous of this next great step in her life, and it showed. Finally they cleared away all the dinner things together and loaded the dishwasher.
"You don't need to do anything," said Tess to Bella. "You're a guest."
"I promise to let you clean up after our pizza at my place on Sunday," said Bella.
"Are either of you up for a walk?" asked D as he finished putting the leftovers in the fridge.
"You two go ahead," said Tess. "I'm feeling a bit tired."
D looked at Bella. "I'd like to go for a walk . . . but you still have to drive me home and . . . I don't want to keep you too late."
"We'll go for a little walk and then I'll drive you home," he said. He looked at his sister. "You okay with that, Tess?"
"Yes. Goodnight Bella - it was fun - see you on Sunday. Goodnight D - D."
"D-D?" teased her brother, giving her a kiss on the forehead.
As they left the house, D took Bella's hand and led her down to the lake. They walked out onto the dock.
"I've been coming here all of my life, and I've lived here for the last four years, but I never tire of it. The lake is always so serene in the evenings. There's one thing I thank my aunt for, and that's the ban on powerboats that she instituted when she was mayor years back. It brings a quieter, more reflective type of tourist."
It was 10:00 at night, but the sky was still as pale a blue as in the day, only with none of the daytime brightness. Close by, black trees rose up as silhouettes, their fern like branches patterning the sky and water. Stars were beginning to prick through. The velvet water lapped softly against the dock. Bella absorbed the peace, her hand, warm and comfortable in D's own. All her awareness was attuned to the feeling of his skin upon hers, the way his arm rubbed her shoulder, the rich tone of his voice in the still night air.
He raised his other hand to the sky. "Look - the summer triangle. Vega, Deneb, Altair." He pointed to each star in turn.
Bella shivered. Not with cold, it was a mild evening, but from the memory of his voice in the meadow as he pointed out the different stars of spring. She was filled with longing for more than the touch of his hand.
"You're cold," he said, letting go of her hand and placing his arm around her shoulder and drawing her closer to him. "Is that better?"
Bella nodded. She couldn't trust herself to speak. Slowly they walked from the dock, along a stretch of beach, and back up to the car without saying any more.
"I'd better get you home," D said finally, his voice husky. He opened the door for her and she felt all the emptiness of the loss of his arm and the warmth of his body by her side.
On the drive home, cello music filled the car once again, deep with meaning, as if the bow was being stroked across the strings of Bella's heart. She yearned for the contact again, but this time his hand did not find its way to hers. As he walked her up the stairs to her porch, they looked for a long time into each other's eyes. D reached out and lightly ran his hand down an errant strand of Bella's hair to its full length and then took it, and tucking it behind her ear.
"Your hair is so long."
There was nothing to say. Bella wanted to reach out and touch his hair too.
He put his hand lightly to her chin, tilted it up and looked at her lips. "Goodnight." The word was like a caress. He let go, ran his hand along the length of her hair again, and was gone.
"Goodnight," Bella whispered into the darkness.
During the trip to Clinton and the pizza, canvas-stretching party, Bella experienced the same comfortable camaraderie in her relationship with D, which included an always-present hint of something more. She and Tess had become much closer and all the vestiges of shyness between them had fallen far away. They had both stayed quite late and said a warm goodbye at the door together, with promises of seeing each other at the campsite early in the morning. All the equipment and supplies were already packed in June's little car with the help of her two friends. There was nothing left to do but go to sleep.
At 8:00 in the morning, D and Tess met Bella at the path to the campsite. It was a walk-in by the water, at the spot where the creek that ran behind Bella's cabin exited from the lake. All the gear had to be carried down the long path. It took a few trips before everything was stashed on the picnic tables and all the food was put into the large food safe. A load of wood had already been deposited beside the fire pit by one of the park attendants.
The campsite couldn't have been more perfect. Tent pads were spotted amongst the trees, not too far from each other, but far enough for privacy. Two large picnic tables were in the shade of large pines, with a wide-open space where the fire pit sat. Through the descending branches of the trees the jade waters of the lake sparkled in the morning sun.
Bella would have liked to have sat down and painted the scene right at that moment, but she had to return to the main gate with Tess to meet all of the kids. She was disappointed that D left immediately, even though he did promise to come in the evening for the sing along. As the girls arrived there were cheerful greetings and hugs all around. Alyson and Cindy were soon filling Tess in on the details of the history of the writing club, along with plot lines for some of their stories. Sofie hung back a little bit, but her eyes were eagerly taking everything in.
When Tamsin arrived, Bella welcomed the pretty, dark-haired girl and introduced her to the group. The boys were the last to arrive. They only had small daypacks to carry and teased the girls who had to make the short hike with fully loaded backpacks and sleeping bags. Bella was interested to observe that when they arrived at the campsite, Jordan and Adam were both carrying sleeping bags, and Alyson and Cindy were not.
The first job of the morning was to set up the two large tents and the small supply tent, and then stow all the belongings. Cindy, Alyson, Rita, and Heather were sharing with Tess. Bella had Lise, Sofie, Tamsin, Alicia, and Sarah, and a slightly larger tent. Jordan and Adam grumbled half-heartedly about not being able to have a tent of their own, as they helped cram the art supplies into the small tent.
"We could always stow away in here," said Adam slyly.
A line was set up between two trees for hanging wet bathing suits and towels, and then volunteers went off to the water pump to fill the big five-gallon water jugs. It took quite a bit of time for them to return and when they did, it was immediately apparent why. Alyson, Cindy, Sarah, Lise, Jordan and Adam were all drenched. The water pump had been just too tempting.
"Don't look at me," said Adam quickly. "It was Lise who started it."
"I just wanted to see if we could turn the pump into a shower," said Lise. "I don't want to go a week without a shower."
"You'll be in the lake everyday!" said Adam, as if all that bathing would preclude the need for a shower.
"There are showers at the main campsite," said Bella. "And we can use them when we need to. Otherwise, though, we are staying right here. No wandering off without permission."
It was decided to keep two of the water jugs in the swiftly moving creek to keep the water cool and place the other on the picnic table that was in the deepest shade. Then there was just enough time for a swim before lunch.
"If only I was wearing my swimsuit for the water-fight," said Alyson as she hung up her wet clothes.
"They'll dry in no time," said Tess.
They were swimming for about twenty minutes when Sarah was suddenly heard to call, "Ship ahoy!" Sure enough, a canoe was slipping through the water heading directly towards their campsite. Bella held her breath. She knew that canoe very well. Almost too well. Soon it was close enough for the others to recognise.
"Mr Fitz!" they all called, waving and jumping up and down in the water. Lise swam out to greet him and then followed him in like a dolphin in some Mediterranean cove.
He landed the canoe on the beach as the children crowded around.
"Here, catch," he called out to Jordan and threw him a pack. Next he threw one to Adam and began unloading all sorts of other gear into the girls' eager hands.
"What's going on?" asked Bella.
"Surprise!" yelled Jordan and Adam.
"I'm going to be camping with the boys, if that's all right with you," D said to an amazed Bella. "I've arranged it with Chance and their parents. Jordan and Adam wanted to keep it a surprise." He gave her a look that reminded her of Daisy's expectant expression.
"It's the best surprise ever!" shouted the girls in unison.
Bella could only nod her agreement, but the smile that was on her face seemed to be more than enough to convince D that he was welcome. He threw the canoe's painter around a tree and hoisted the tent to his shoulder, calling the boys to help him set it up.
*Angels of the Silences Counting Crows
**Catapult Counting Crows
Posted on Friday, 18 July 2003
After lunch, even though it was tempting just to lie in the shade and nap, everyone broke up into groups, except for Jordan who left for his baseball practice, not to return until 6:00. Bella took Heather, Sarah, Sofie and Rita to paint down by the spot where the creek spilled from the lake. Tess set up at a picnic table to work on stories with Alyson, Cindy, Tamsin, and Adam, and D went out in the canoe with Alicia and Lise.
The group of would-be artists studied the scene before them, and Bella discussed the types of things to look for in choosing what to include in their paintings and what to leave out. While they were planning their compositions, Sarah appeared to be somewhat distracted, studying the stems and leaves of small plants and looking under rocks. She finally admitted to be searching for snails, and Bella was left with the distinct impression that it wasn't with the intent to paint them. When the girls had their paintings well in hand, Bella began to work on her own. She had only allowed herself small canvases for this endeavour so that she would be able to devote as much time as possible to her students, but they learned equally from watching her paint as they did from her instruction.
Tess found that her group of writers was almost as eager to talk to her as they were to write. Alyson kept asking questions that were ostensibly about the story she was writing, but somehow always ended with Tess telling her about life at boarding school.
"I really can't tell you about campus living," she said. "I have yet to experience it."
"But boarding school must be similar to a campus residence," insisted Alyson.
"You don't have any of the independence you have in university at a high school, Alyson. We had very strict rules and curfews."
"But you weren't living with your family, so there is a similarity . . ."
Cindy took the opportunity to talk to Tamsin about her story which she had been reading online. "I thought your idea that Jane and Elizabeth were kidnapped by Mrs. Bennet to replace her own girls who died was so cool. I had no idea you were only our age."
"I've been reading all your stories too," said Tamsin, "but I never thought I'd meet you here."
Adam just grunted at them to be quiet. "How's a man expected to write with your infernal nattering?"
Cindy leaned over his shoulder. "Sheep and Sensibility?" she asked, reading the title from his page.
He hunched over his work to cover his page. "Yer don't get to see 'til I'm done!"
"Mr. Fitz let Lise and me paddle all the way back!" yelled Alicia in excitement as she ran up from the lake. She tossed her lifejacket under a tree. "He said we would all probably be able to go for a swim now, right?" She turned to D and Lise who were just coming up from beaching the canoe.
"If it's okay with our intrepid leader," said D.
"I think it's okay with us," said Tess, looking at the eager faces of her charges, "but Bella and her crew are still down by the creek."
"I'll go and see if they want to join us," said D. "The rest of you may as well put your stuff away and go in. Alicia - don't forget to put that lifejacket in the supply tent."
Bella felt a familiar sensation and turned to look over her shoulder. He was standing just three paces off, his eyes intent upon her. His face warmed as a slow smile crept across it, bringing out an answering smile from her in response.
"I've come to see if the artists want to swim. Everyone else is going in."
"If you mark your spots with some rocks, we can come back to finish tomorrow," said Bella.
"Your painting looks . . . done," D shot at her with a teasing smile. He came up close behind her and leaned forward. "In other words I like it," he whispered, "but I know I'm not allowed to say."
"I didn't mean that," said Bella, bending over to put her paints away. "At least I didn't say you couldn't . . ." She stopped, flustered. "It's just that . . ."
"I know," he said, smiling down at her. "But I just can't help myself. I love how you paint and I'm always going to tell you about it."
"Thanks." Her cheeks reddened, more from her own embarrassment at her discomposure than what he had said. His words filled her with elation. She looked over at the kids who, rather than fold their easels up, were watching with avid interest.
D took her easel, and then, pretending that the girls were complaining about it, took theirs too, just to be fair. Sarah nudged Sofie and then they ran off ahead with Heather and Rita, leaving D and Bella to trail behind.
"They're at it again," said D, but he didn't appear upset about it at all.
By the time they reached the campsite, everyone else was in the water. Bella pulled off the t-shirt that she was wearing over her swimsuit and ran down to the water, turning to watch D as he joined her. It was the first time she had seen him without a shirt. His body was lithe and nicely tanned, and his swimming shorts sat on his hips in just such a way that she felt she had to turn her head to avoid staring. When he came into the water beside her she was incredibly conscious of him.
"What's the matter?" he asked.
"You look good." She met his eyes and then lowered hers quickly.
"So do you," he said. "But I don't see that as a problem." He flashed her a smile.
"We'd better join the kids."
"You're right." He dove under and came up in their midst, starting a huge water fight.
Bella stood on the sidelines for a few minutes admiring everything about him, the way his hair curled when wet, the droplets of water sparkling on his back, and the way he could suddenly be so irresistibly carefree, until the girls dragged her into the fight too. They spent no more time alone in the water, or while dinner was being prepared and served, but she felt his eyes upon her almost as much as her eyes were drawn to him.
When everything was cleaned up, they built a roaring fire while a commando unit went into the bush to cut sturdy willow stems for roasting marshmallows. Large blocks from the woodpile were dragged in a circle about the fire.
"Anybody know any good campfire songs?" asked Alyson.
There were a lot of suggestions flying through the air in a jumble of excited voices until Bella held up her hand to quiet them down. "We can take turns, going around the campfire in order, and we'll start with Alyson because it was her idea."
"Does everyone know The Cat Came Back?" Alyson looked around at the circle of nodding heads, and then started to sing as they all joined in.
Old Mr. Johnson had troubles of his own
He had a yellow cat that wouldn't leave his home
He tried and he tried to give that cat away
He gave it to a man going far, far away
But the cat came back, the very next day, oh
The cat came back he thought it was a goner but
The cat came back, it just wouldn't stay away
oh no no no no no no NO NO NO NO oh no no no no no
They went through all the verses with much laughter as people began to invent alternate ways of getting rid of the stubborn old cat.
Sofie's choice was next and soon the mood became much more mellow as they all joined in to sing Land of The Silver Birch
Land of the silver birch, home of the beaver
where still the mighty moose wanders at will
blue lake and rocky shore
I will return once more
Boom didi boom boom
Boom didi boom boom
Boo-oo-oom
Cindy got them all rollicking again with I'm a Nut
I'm a Nut I'm a little acorn brown
lying on the cold, cold ground.
Somebody came and stepped on me,
That is why I'm cracked you see
I'm a nut, in a rut, and I'm crazy...
Called myself upon the phone,
just to see if I was home.
Asked myself out on a date,
better be ready by half past eight!
I'm a nut, in a rut, and I'm crazy...
Rita suggested There was an old Woman who Swallowed a fly and the boys decided it was a perfect song to sing in funny voices which had everybody cracking up so hard that they barely made it to the end.
There was and old lady who swallowed a horse.
She died, of course.
Singing and eating marshmallows caused some difficulties as forgotten marshmallows flamed like torches, or voices were muffled as the singers couldn't resist the sweet, melting treats. They took a little break from singing to concentrate on the true art of marshmallow cooking, slowly, layer by layer, over the red coals, and then, when the supply was exhausted, built the fire up to a blaze again.
Alicia had her turn and suggested Goin' on a Bear Hunt, which had the kids up, stalking around the fire, and giggling so hard they could barely sing. Next it was Adam who suggested The Song that Doesn't End.
"Trust him to choose a song from Lambchop," said Jordan.
"So," said Adam. "It's better than Take Me Out to The Ballgame."
"I wasn't going to choose that. I was going to say The Ants Came Marching One by One."
Everybody groaned. "That's just as bad," said Heather. "I'm ready for some real music - I know there're a couple of guitars here."
D and Tess brought out their guitars and the next hour was spent singing old favourites like Brown Eyed Girl, Bobby McGee, and Carolina on My Mind. As the songs became mellower and mellower, the kids began drifting off to their tents until it was only Bella with Alyson snuggled against her, and the two guitarists. Tess and D slipped into a Neil Young song from the Harvest Moon album. Their voices melded together beautifully in the shadows across the fire from Bella. She sat and listened as Alyson's breathing took on the gentle rhythm of sleep. Sparks darted up from the fire, dancing through the dark to disappear, only to be followed by more, on varying eccentric flight paths. Bella felt she could watch them all night as the sweet music carried through the dark.
On the roller coaster ride
That my emotions have taken me on
I heard a new born baby cry
Through the night
I heard a perfect echo die
Into an anonymous wall of digital sound
Somewhere deep inside
Of my soul
A natural beauty should be
Preserved like a monument to nature
Don't judge yourself too harsh my love
Or someday you may find yourself endangered
A natural beauty should be
Preserved like a monument to nature*
When the song ended, D put his guitar down and came over to pick up the sleeping Alyson and carry her to her tent.
"I think I'll turn in too, now," said Tess.
"Thanks for that song - it was beautiful." Bella stayed where she was, watching the dying fire and soon she was joined by D, who recovered his guitar and sat on a chunk of firewood beside her.
He trailed his fingers over the strings. "First day down and six more to go. I think it's safe to say it was a success."
Bella sighed a comfortable, pleased sigh. "Yes."
"You are wonderful for organising this for the kids."
"You are wonderful for making it possible for Adam and Jordan to stay overnight."
"I have to admit that my participation isn't exactly disinterested."
"Of course - you want to spend more time with Tess now that she's finally home."
"Yeah - that's it." D put his guitar in the case. "I don't think I should leave those two boys alone any longer, and I think you should get some sleep too. Long day tomorrow." He reached out and tucked her hair behind her ear. "Goodnight," he whispered. "Don't worry about the fire - it's done."
"Goodnight, and thanks for everything." Bella's warm smile lit her eyes even in the dim light. D hesitated and then he picked up his guitar and stood.
"I'd really better go. Don't stay up long, okay?"
"Okay." After he left Bella sat and stared at the lake, its smooth surface glimmering through the black trees. Could it be that he joined the campout because he wanted to be with her? Why did she have to suggest it was because of his sister? Nervousness? Would he have stayed longer if she had not said that? And when he had reached out to touch her hair - she knew she wanted more than that. She had longed for him to take her face in his hands and kiss her. But she had to admit it would have been the wrong time and the wrong place. The kiss would have been no simple kiss - she was sure of that, at least.
The days followed one another in the same pattern: morning activities, swimming, lunch, canoe rides, hikes, painting and writing workshops. Then meals were organised, eaten, and cleared up. The fire was lit and the night-time fun began. They went from camp songs to ghost stories and back again. They ended every evening off with guitar music, then Bella and D found themselves talking in front glowing embers for at least half an hour after the others had gone to bed. Once or twice they were disturbed by tiptoeing feet and excited shrieks when raids were mounted from one tent to another, but for the most part everyone was so tired that there was little more than a bit of giggling before they drifted off to sleep.
On Thursday evening Bella and D were talking about the creek that flowed past the campsite.
"Did you know it's the same one that runs through the valley behind the cabin? I've gone to paint there a number of times."
"Now I know why Daisy and I have tramped through the woods by the lake so many times without seeing you."
Bella smiled. It was comforting to think that he chose that walk because she might be there, but she knew it was a favourite of his before she had even met him. It was coming out of that trail that she had first seen him. "There's a waterfall there that I'd like to go and paint."
"Do you like waterfalls?"
"I love the rocks - how the water shapes them - and I love the crash of the water, the power, the noise, the spray like mist, and the varying patterns as the water spills over and then falls into itself."
"I'd like to see all that through your eyes," he said meditatively. "When do you want to paint the picture?"
"Now - but I'll settle for next week when the campout is over."
"You shouldn't have to settle for anything," he said softly, so softly that she wasn't sure if she had heard him right.
The next morning after breakfast D came over and sat beside Bella, leaning back against the picnic table.
"How would you like to go paint a waterfall today?"
"You know I'd love to - but it's too long of a trek with all that gear- by the time we got there we'd have about half an hour to paint before we'd need to turn around and come back."
"I'm not talking about that waterfall. There's a much better one on Pember Creek, not far from the resort. I could take you there this morning. We could pack a lunch."
"How would we all get there?"
"I'm just talking about you and me. We'd go in the canoe."
"But - that's impossible. We can't leave Tess alone with eleven active kids."
"What would you say if I told you Carla is on her way to fill in for us?"
"I . . . how . . . she's not really . . . is she?"
"Yes."
"How could you have arranged this beforehand? You didn't know until last night that I wanted to . . ." Her voice trailed off.
"Cell phone," he said, laughing. "I couldn't leave the resort for a week without remaining in contact. Will you come?"
"Do any of the kids want to come with us?" asked Bella.
"No." His voice was definite.
Bella looked around at all the girls who had been unobtrusively listening to the conversation.
"I want to hang out with Miss Leukes," said Sarah. The 'no' was unanimous.
"I guess I'd better pack us a lunch," said Bella.
"What do you think Tess has been doing while I've been sitting here convincing you?" His smile was so smug that Bella couldn't help but give him a little shove.
"You are so . . . so . . . incorrigible."
"Aren't I just, Miss Austen?"
The girls were giggling so much that Bella fixed them with a dirty look. "Are all the dishes done yet?" They moved away to finish their task, but the giggling didn't abate.
Bella went to collect her paints, sketchbook, canvas, and easel while D carried the picnic lunch and a blanket down to the canoe. When she arrived at the water he took her things and stowed them. She eyed the canoe warily. The last time they were out in it together - no - she wouldn't think about that. A shiver went through her.
D gave her a sympathetic look. "The circumstances are completely different. The sun is shining, you'll be wearing a lifejacket, and . . . I think you know who I am now."
Bella looked up at him and tried to smile reassuringly. "I do - it's just that I can't help remembering that awful night."
"Don't give it a thought." His voice was soft. "I don't."
Carla arrived and all the kids ran down to the water to see Bella and D off.
"Take your time," shouted Cindy. "You've got all day."
"Yeah, don't hurry back," called Alicia.
Bella sat in the front of the canoe and let the sun warm her back, so different from the cold she had felt emanating from behind the other time.
"Are you okay?" D asked.
"I'm fine," she said. 'More than fine.' She felt anticipation run through her body, and she hoped he was feeling the same way about their day together. All she could think about was that he not only wanted to be with her but he had organised this whole outing because of a simple wish expressed the night before. He wanted to please her. She smiled and no dark thoughts intruded all the way across the lake.
When they arrived at the mouth of the creek, it was a twenty minute hike through wild bush along narrow deer-trails until the sound of the rushing falls met them, and then another five minutes before they broke through the trees and saw the creek cascading over a steep rock escarpment. It fell first to one turbulent pool and then another, white where the water crashed among the rocks, darkening to a deep green in the pool that formed at the base and flowed smoothly toward the eddying rapids as it continued downhill to the lake. Bella held her breath. This was a waterfall!
They went out on the rocks as close to the tumbling water as they could safely get. The sound was deafening. The fine spray was refreshing after the scramble through the woods encumbered by their packs. D took Bella's hand and led her back to a broad slab of rock on the bank.
"Let's eat first." He spread the blanket and then motioned for Bella to sit beside him as he set out the food.
"This is amazing," said Bella, looking back at the rushing water. "Thanks for bringing me."
"I thought you might like it." He took a bite from his sandwich. "It's one of my favourite places."
She smiled at him and they just sat and looked at one another for a few minutes, lost in the warmth of each other's eyes.
After lunch, Bella took up her sketchbook and began to draw views of the waterfall from different vantage points as D sat on the rock, watching her as much as he was watching the water. A while later, when she came to trade her pad of paper for canvas and easel, she looked at him apologetically.
"Isn't this sort of boring for you?"
"Not at all."
"I'll try not to take too long."
"I brought you here to paint, so take all the time you want. If I get bored I can go for a stroll or read a book, but I don't think I'll get bored."
Bella settled herself in the spot she had chosen and glanced back at D. He was sitting on the rock looking comfortable and contented. She smiled and he flashed her a smile in return that was so devastating she almost forgot about the colour of the smooth, wet rocks, the white rush of the water, and the emerald depths at her feet. She took a breath, narrowed her eyes, and slowly entered that world of shape and shadow, depth and light. When she emerged, she was applying little touches of colour here and there to the raging water now alive on her canvas. He came up from behind and stood beside her.
"Incredible."
She blushed and smiled at him happily.
"Not just your painting, but where you go when you paint it. The whole process from flat canvas to . . . life. You go beyond what a thing looks like to the way it makes you feel. There are little pieces of you all over that canvas and they call out to me. I'm drawn to them."
"You're doing it again." She couldn't take her eyes away from his. She understood exactly what he was saying. It was just how she felt when he played guitar, and when his voice joined the silver notes of music.
"I know. Do you want to get as close in to the waterfall as possible while this dries a little more?"
"Yes," she said simply, and he pulled her up to join him.
They went hand in hand out on the rocks. He led the way to a spot where they were almost inside the heart of the torrent. Bella felt more than light mist - the spray was almost splash up this close. The sound of the water was music of a different kind. Bella looked up with a face full of joy and unexpectedly he leaned over and kissed her lightly on the cheek.
Mainly to hide her embarrassment, she said, "What was that all about?" in a shaky little voice. She was filled with the image of him kissing her lips.
"Exuberance. It made me feel good to see you so happy. Sorry about that."
"There's nothing to feel sorry about," said Bella, trying to regain her voice and her composure.
"Good," he said, drawing her closer to him, "because I'm glad I did it." He ran his other hand down her back, looked deep onto her eyes, and added regretfully, "It's getting late. We'd better pack our things and go."
"Yes." But neither of them made a move.
"C'mon. You're getting soaked and so am I." He led her along the rocks and back to the flat slab. As they got their things together she picked up her sketchbook and a loose sheet of paper dropped out. D picked it up.
He looked at her and she could almost swear he was blushing. It was a picture of him sitting on the rock. "When did you draw this?"
"I wasn't only looking at rocks and water, you know."
"But I was watching you the whole time."
She reached for it, but he held it out of her grasp. "Give it."
His eyes twinkled as he still held it too high for her to reach. "What are you going to do with it?"
"Put it back in my sketchbook." It was her turn to blush.
"And then?"
"If you keep acting that way, I'll probably rip it up."
"No you won't," he said, handing it to her. She tried to meet his look of satisfaction with a challenging one, but broke off into laughter instead.
By the time they had paddled back to the campsite the light was dimming.
"You're lucky we saved you supper," said Carla with a smirk. "Whatever were you two up to that took so-o-o long?"
"Painting waterfalls!" Bella gave her a quelling look, but she just snickered.
"We do have a painting to prove it," said D with a laugh.
"Work of a minute," said Carla glancing at it. "You expect me to buy that excuse?"
"It's fantastic," said Tess, taking it from her brother's hands to study it and effectively putting Carla's teasing to an end.
Saturday evening was the last campfire and it went late into the night. No one was looking forward to striking camp the next day and saying good bye, even though they would be staying until almost suppertime. They sang songs and shared stories about all the fun they had and the crazy things they had done, especially when Carla had been attending them.
"When the cat's away, the mice will play," said Rita.
"Arrr," agreed Adam.
After the kids had finally all straggled to their tents, D moved closer to Bella and continued playing.
You're in the back seat laying down
The windows wrap around
To sound of the travel and the engine
All you hear is time stand still in travel
And feel such peace and absolute
The stillness still that doesn't end
But slowly drifts into sleep
The stars are the greatest thing you've ever seen
And they're there for you
For you alone you are the everything
He sang softly, his rich voice tender. The guitar trickled behind, sweet and sharp. He used it like a mandolin, playing with the high strings.
But I'm in this kitchen
Everything is beautiful
And she is so beautiful
She is so young and old
I look at her and I see the beauty
Of the light of music
The voices talking somewhere in the house
Late spring and you're drifting off to sleep
The music echoed in the trees, trailed through the shadows, and reached the children still awake in their tents. Alyson and Cindy silently tiptoed from theirs, followed by Rita and Sarah. They sat at the edge of the woods and were joined by Sofie and Alicia.
And feel such peace and absolute
The stillness still that doesn't end
But slowly drifts into sleep
The greatest thing you've ever seen
And they're there for you
For you alone you are the everything
For you alone you are the everything**
D repeated the last verse, and let the soft tones of guitar fade off into the night.
"How did you know I love that song?" Bella whispered.
"You have to remember that I know you. You show me yourself in your pictures. The song is about you."
"Are you sure it's not about you?"
The girls got up as silently as they had come, and slipped back through the dark trees to their tents. Snuggled up in their sleeping bags, they were all soon asleep, with happy smiles playing on their faces and sweet dreams in their heads. Not long after, Bella and D followed, and the night was left to the hum of the crickets and the rhythmic croaking of distant frogs.
Carla came the next day to drive Tess home - there was too much of a load for her to join her brother in his canoe. D stayed with Bella until the last of the children were picked up. Neither of them was ready to leave, though both the car and canoe were packed up. They would be heading in opposite directions, and after a week in each other's company they weren't ready for it to end.
They talked casually in the deserted parking lot, sitting on the hood of June's little car. Shadows lengthened and everything was burnished by the golden glow of the evening sun.
"I'm glad that Colin and Carla finally set things straight between them."
"Do you know that he never told me what he was going through - his own cousin - but I suspected. When he kissed you, though, that threw me."
"It was a dumb move, and he paid for it."
"You were in his confidence, weren't you? That's another thing that had me worried, how close you two became so quickly when I was having a heck of a time getting you to notice I existed. Did he ever tell you what we talked about that time I blasted him for kissing you?"
"He just said you were being his father. I imagined you were telling him you didn't like that kind of thing going on in your school and that he should conduct his affairs more privately."
"You did, eh?" He gave her a long look.
Bella knew what he was thinking and blushed. Yes, she had been so wrong about him then - would she ever be able to live it down completely? But he said nothing more regarding it and in a moment continued.
"I told him you were not going to be his next victim. That you were worth more than some casual fling. He asked me if I was interested in you for myself, and I said, 'Yes - seriously - so leave her alone.' Then he said, 'If you keep acting the way you're acting, how is she ever supposed to know? Do something.' I said, 'You're a good one to take advice from.' Then I walked away from him . . . but I think that's what prompted me to act the way I did when I saw you out on the lake."
"Kiss me, you mean." Her voice wavered when she said the word 'kiss'.
"Yeah - and look what good that did." D shook his head ruefully.
Bella looked at him steadily. "I'm glad you did that. If you hadn't, I'd have made a complete idiot of myself in front of the whole town. I would have publicly slandered you. As it is, I only did it to your face, which was terrible, but think of how much worse it could have been. I would have hurt you so much more than I already did."
"Don't let that haunt you," he said, reaching for her hand. "It's in the past. Over. Finished."
"But, you just brought it up." She didn't say it accusingly - it was a statement, nothing more.
"No, I was just blaming myself for not talking to you instead, rather than coming on so strong. No wonder you thought I was stalking you with me practically attacking you like that."
"That was some kiss," said Bella quietly. "Even the way I thought about you, I wasn't immune."
"I noticed . . . that's what confused me all the more when you pushed me away." He hesitated. "But I can kiss much better than that."
"Can you?" Bella whispered, bringing her face in close to his.
"Yes." It came out as a sigh, full of hope and desire. His arm slid around her, but his eyes didn't leave hers, their gaze soft and tender. He ran his finger from her cheekbone down the curve of her cheek. The green of his eyes flickered and he lowered his lips, kissing her at first gently, his mouth warm on hers, and then deeply. The kiss was slow and deliberate, lingering, tasting, feeling.
She slipped her arms around him, caressed his back, and met his kisses with all her pent-up longing. Then she clung to him speechless, breathless, barely capable of thought, as he repeated her name over and over and planted tiny kisses upon her hair, her eyelids, her cheeks, until she tilted her head up again, searching for his mouth.
*Natural Beauty, Neil Young
**You Are The Everything, REM
Posted on Tuesday, 22 July 2003
Bella woke the next morning with a smile on her lips. The glow within her could not be repressed. As she dressed she sang softly to herself, and then went to the kitchen to find some breakfast solely out of habit; she felt too content and too complete to be aware of mere hunger. June was sitting at the table, looking at her with a mixture of apprehension and excitement.
"You came in late; I waited up for you till midnight. Did the camp go well?"
"Yes, very. How was your trip?"
"Eventful. There is something I need to talk to you about. I hope I'm not letting you down."
"How could you ever let me down, sweetie?" asked Bella, pouring herself a glass of juice.
"I'm sort of leaving you in the lurch. Will you be able to handle the rent of the cabin on your own?"
"You're moving in with Chance?"
"That's the way it works when you're married." She held out her left hand. Not only was there an elegant engagement ring that Bella had never seen before, but there was also a delicate gold band.
"You're married!" Bella almost spilled her juice and June's tea as she lunged across the table to hug her. "And without me there!"
"I'm sorry," said June, "but one thing led to another. I mean, once we both admitted that we love each other it seemed only natural to get married and - well - we couldn't wait. His parents flew up and we were married on Saturday. Mom and dad were thrilled." June looked into Bella's eyes and smiled anxiously. "You know how I don't like big productions. The idea of an elaborate wedding freaked me out."
"Don't be sorry, I was only teasing. How wonderful that both your parents were there. Oh! I'm so happy for you!"
"Can Chance come out now?" asked June with a grin. "We didn't want to shock you too much this morning, but we've only been married for two days so you could hardly expect him to go home alone."
"I'm surprised you waited up for me till midnight, in that case." Bella enjoyed a good laugh as Chance came tiptoeing sheepishly out of the bedroom. She threw her arms around him and hugged him. "You are one lucky guy!"
"I'm well aware of it," he said, as he sat down in a chair and pulled June from hers to sit on his lap.
"Will you be all right here on your own?" asked June with concern. "You don't have the TA job, so you'll be making a lot less money."
"I've actually got quite a bit saved, because of the paintings, and if the art show next month goes as well as Aimee expects it to, I won't have any worries."
"If anything comes up at the school, you know you're the first person I would hire," said Chance.
"May I remind you I don't have a teaching degree?" said Bella, laughing at the earnest look on Chance's face. "I'll be fine, honest."
"Who cares about degrees?" said Chance recklessly. "How did the campout go?"
"It was perfect. There were no problems, no accidents, the kids were great . . ."
"How was your surprise addition?"
Bella blushed. "He was very . . . helpful."
"You got along okay?" Chance wasn't letting it go. He wanted more information.
"We muddled through," said Bella, grinning.
"I imagine that's why you were so late last night."
"It's possible." Her eyes sparkled with mischief.
"Well it's about time!" Chance sat there grinning at her for a few moments. "So we're not going to get any details?"
"Why don't you ask D?"
"Like he would tell me. I guess I'll just have to settle for knowing that you've finally put him out of his misery."
"Bella will tell me all later," said June knowingly. "I might leak some of it to you if you're good."
"You know I'm good," said Chance, kissing her fondly.
Chance and June left shortly after that, saying something about organising things and returning with boxes, but Bella was sure she wasn't going to see them back for a long while.
Bella spent her morning unpacking June's car lazily as she dwelt upon the events of the last week, especially the evening she and D had shared the night before. They had walked back to the campsite arm in arm and wandered along the tiny stretch of beach talking about nothing and everything, and losing themselves in each other's kisses. The evening had lasted forever but been over too soon. Although she wanted to push his canoe off for him and stand and watch as he drifted off into the darkness, D insisted on seeing her to the car and sending her on her way with a kiss that made it all the more difficult to leave him standing there and drive away.
The phone rang and Bella rushed to it eagerly. So certain that it was going to be his voice she heard on the other end of the line, she almost hung it up in disappointment when Layla's anxious tones greeted her. It took another few moments for her to realise that her sister was in distress.
"Layla! Hold on - speak clearly - I can't make out what you're saying."
"You were right - he dumped me - I need . . . oh please, Bell, take me away from this hole." Her voice was slurred, and very weak.
"Where are you?" Bella scrabbled around for a pen and notepad.
"In Vancouver . . . in a room . . . he's been gone so long . . . I need . . ."
"What room? Come on, Layla, get it together. How can I help you of I don't know where to find you?"
"You warned me - I shoulda listened. He's a no good loser. He left me - he left me." She broke off, sobbing.
"Please tell me where you are."
"In a room . . . a hotel . . . I miss him. Make him come back. I need . . ."
"What hotel? Please, Layla, concentrate. I'll get there as soon as I can, but I need to know the name of the hotel, and the address."
"Gastown - it's in Gastown. It's a stinkin' slum! An' he left me all alone an' he took . . . and all the guys are so ugly an' their teeth are rotten an' he wanted me to . . . but now they're all gone and I don't have nothin'." Her voice rose and faded, sometimes shrill, sometimes indistinct.
"Layla! The - name - of - the - hotel."
"Um - is that you Bell? Did you call me? How did you know I need you?"
"Just please tell me the name of the hotel!" Bella yelled.
"You don't need to shout. I'm really trying - trying to remember. Um . . . Tra . . . Travellers - or something like that. It smells - it really stinks. I'm all alone. I don't got no money . . . I want George . . . I need . . . I really need a fix . . ." Her voice trailed off completely.
"Layla! What do you mean you need a fix? Layla!" Bella could hear nothing on the other end of the line. "Layla! I'm coming. Don't go anywhere. I don't know how long it'll take but I'll be there!"
"Okay, Bell. Okay. I'll wait . . . make him come back."
"Promise me you won't leave the room."
"I promise." There was a click and the line went dead.
Bella stood staring at the phone for a stunned moment and then grabbed the directory. She dialled quickly and listened to the ringing with impatience.
"Hi - I need to know when the next Vancouver bus leaves Pember Lake. How much is it? Okay, thanks."
She hung up the phone. Half an hour. She had to throw some things in her bag and leave a note for June telling her where she'd gone, and where to find her car. And she needed to get a message to D. She tried to blot out how much she wanted him right now and concentrated on scribbling the note to June. Let D know where I've gone, she scrawled. I don't know when I'll be back, but I'll call, she ended off, then she dashed her hand across her eyes and rushed to her room. Damn Layla! It was all over now. She had to keep him out of this. Anyway - what would he think of her now with a junkie for a sister? And George Wicks on the sidelines? She slammed the door and ran out to the car, tossing her pack on the seat beside her.
She was at the bus stop with ten minutes to spare. She locked June's car and hid the keys underneath the bumper where she'd told June to look. She stood on the side of the street and shut her eyes, trying to will away the pain that was threatening to overtake her. Trying to stop every instinct that was crying out for her to run to D. Trying not to think of his strong arms, his warm smile, the touch of his lips on hers. Trying to keep her thoughts on Layla - where they should be. Stupid, stupid Layla.
She didn't hear the car when it pulled up to the curb beside her.
"Bella." She wanted him so much she was hearing his voice. She kept her eyes closed and held her arms tightly about herself, willing the image of Layla in distress to fill her mind instead of his slow, soft smile.
"Bella, what are you doing?"
The tone of his voice had changed - it was now puzzled and edged with concern. This wasn't her imagination - it was real. She opened her eyes to see the Jag in front of her, and D leaning across the passenger seat, looking like someone had just hit him. Her heart lurched. She wasn't going to be able to face him and do this.
"I'm catching the bus."
The look in his eyes cut into her. She had seen that look before and she had hoped never to see it again. And both times she had put it there.
"You're running away from me? You have regrets about yesterday?" His voice was brittle with pain. It spurred Bella forward to lean against the side of his car.
"No! Never!" I could never regret yesterday. "My sister's in trouble and I'm going to her."
"Get in. I think we need to talk."
Bella opened the door and passed her backpack to D who threw it into the back seat. When she was sitting he gave her a long look .
"Close the door." His flatness of expression frightened her.
"But my bus is coming in five minutes." Bella closed it just the same.
D put the car into gear and pulled onto the road.
"What are you doing? I'll miss my bus." Bella looked around frantically.
D ignored what she said. "So you were going to leave town without telling me." His voice was flat and bruised.
"I left a note for June to tell you where I'd gone."
"Well that makes it a whole heck of a lot better," he said as he turned the car savagely and sped along the road.
"I need to catch that bus. I promised my sister I'd be there as soon as possible. She's . . . she's . . ."
"Yes, what is up with your sister that's more important than us?" The bitterness in his voice was perfectly justified, but it tore at her, bringing fresh tears to her eyes.
"I . . . I can't tell you," said Bella putting her face in her hands.
D pulled over and stopped. "Look, you don't have to be afraid to tell me anything." His voice had softened. He reached over and urged her head up out of her hands until their eyes met. "Don't turn away. It's something she did, not you. Even if it's murder, I don't care."
"She . . . she's in a hotel in Gastown. She says Wicks left her . . . but from what she said it sounded like he'd been expecting her to put out for other guys, and . . . she said she needs a fix. I didn't have any idea she was doing heroin - how could I have let that happen to my own sister? Sure - I made a good life for myself, but I was happy to let her stay back there and live with George, and I knew what he was."
"I don't think you were happy about that. If I know you, you begged her to leave."
"Yes, but when I asked her to come with me, I just accepted it when she refused. I should have made her come, or stayed and watched out for her."
"If you'd done that I'd never have met you, so you'll never get me to agree it was a better idea."
Bella smiled wanly. "But since I've been here I should have tried harder to get her to come. I should have sent her the bus fare."
"So George could spend it? You can't live her life for her, Bella. She wouldn't have come - the only reason she's called you now is because George walked out on her. So, tell me, why were you trying to keep all this from me? Don't you trust me?" She heard all the hurt resurface in his voice again.
Bella looked directly into his eyes, braving the pain. "I know what the school means to you. I didn't want to involve you in a scandal that your aunt could use against you."
"Don't you remember what I said to you that night? You are more important to me than the school. How long will it take for me to get through to you? You are my everything. I love you, Bella."
All she could see were his eyes. The pain had faded and they were filling with warmth. The green was so intense she could barely breathe. This time when he kissed her it was raw, passionate, and urgent. "Don't ever try to leave me like that again."
"I wasn't leaving you - I was . . ."
"Sacrificing yourself. Did you ever stop to think how it would make me feel?"
Did she? No - that was the one thing she had managed to avoid completely. "I didn't think at all - it hurt too much. I just wanted to . . . protect you. I do trust you. Please, never think that I don't. This is all so new for me; I didn't know how to react. I wanted to run to you, and have you hold me in your arms and tell me everything would be all right. I didn't ever stop wanting you." She looked up at him and stroked his cheek. "I've never needed anyone like I needed you today."
He resumed driving and she sat as close to him as possible with his arm around her providing the strength and comfort she had longed for. She was overwhelmed. He had said it, and she knew he never said anything important lightly. He loved her. Loved her. Her heart began to sing once again as it had all morning. Suddenly she plummeted right back down to earth. Layla!
"I'll have missed my bus!"
"Do you think I was ever going to let you take that bus?"
"But then how am I going to help Layla? Do you know what part of town she's in? I was down there before I came here. It scared the living daylights out of me."
"I know what that part of town is like. I would never let you go there alone."
"So what are we doing? She needs me."
"Don't worry, Bella. Right now we're going back to my place. I'll pack some stuff and make a few calls and then we can go find her together. I'll get you there long before the bus ever could." He tightened his arm around her and she leaned her head on his shoulder, breathing in his fresh smell, tinged with the faint scent of sandalwood that sent a stirring deep within her soul.
Posted on Friday, 25 July 2003
When D discovered Bella hadn't eaten any lunch, he ordered them each a sandwich and then made his phone calls. They were ready to leave at 2:30, and even with a stop in Chilliwack for a burger, they were driving west on East Hastings by 7:30, a full two hours earlier than the bus would have got Bella there.
She was beginning to feel very tense. What if Layla had given her the wrong hotel name? At least she knew it was a real hotel, because D had managed to find an address for it - but what if Layla wasn't there any longer? D squeezed her hand reassuringly. It was as if he knew what she was thinking.
"We turn right here on Abbott and then right again on Cordova. It should be just down the block on the left."
When Bella saw the hotel it looked worse than she had ever imagined. The exterior was covered in grime, and the big T was burned out on the sign. One or two of the upper windows were boarded over. D found a meter in the next block and parked. He took her hand and they crossed the road and headed down the dingy sidewalk, ignoring the panhandlers that leaned up against the buildings apathetically, hoping only for a loonie or two to make up the price of a drink. When they reached the hotel, Bella was almost bowled over by the stench of stale beer that emanated from the ground floor pub. D pulled her closer to him protectively and they walked into the dimly lit lobby together.
"You two wanna room?" The man behind the desk looked up from his newspaper with a suggestive gleam in his eyes.
"Do you have a George Wicks staying here, or maybe a Layla Gardiner?"
The man scratched his belly, which was thinly covered by a stretched-out undershirt. "Well, maybe I do an' maybe I don't. Who wantsta know?"
"We do," said D forcefully.
"I'll hav'ta look in the book, won't I?" He leaned over and made a show of looking through a battered ledger. "There's a George an' Layla in 309." It was obvious he had already known the room number. "Haven't seen George in a coupl'a days, but maybe Layla's around. I woulda noticed if she walked past me." That look was back in his eyes. "Elevator's broken but there's stairs at the enda the hall." He pointed into the looming darkness.
Bella was shaking by the time they'd reached the door to the stairs. D stopped and held her close. "And you wanted to come here alone?" He stroked her hair. "We'll get her out of here as fast as we can."
"Thanks for doing this." Bella looked up at him. "I'm okay now. Let's go find her."
When Bella reached out to knock on 309, the door creaked open. "Layla? Layla, I'm finally here." Bella pushed the door wide and walked inside.
A bare 40-watt bulb hung from the ceiling. There was a sink in one corner, a greasy couch against the wall, and a bed on the other side of the room. It was empty. The whole room was empty aside from the clothes all over the floor and the bottles and cigarette ends on the stained coffee table.
"She's not here."
"We'll find her." D's voice was grim.
"You guys lookin' for somebody?"
A woman stood in the doorway, a cigarette dangling from her lips.
"My sister Layla," said Bella eagerly. "Have you seen her?"
"She's probably hookin' out on Main Street or shootin' up in Blood Alley. She went out about half an hour ago. She wasn't lookin' too good. Strung out, if you know what I mean. I aint seen George either, if you're wonderin', but I know he came back for a bit."
"Where's this alley?" D cut in.
She made a backwards motion with her head. "Just go out the fire exit. Hey, you guys couldn't lend me a couple bucks could ya? I was thinkin' of gettin' some supper."
"No, but we could bring you something to eat after we find Layla."
"Don't bother - they got peanuts at the bar." She turned and walked away rather unsteadily.
"Come on," said D, grabbing Bella's hand tightly in his and leading her out the door.
"I'll be glad when we get outside again. The air in here is so stale and it reeks."
But when they walked out into the alley, the air was no better. The odour of stale beer and urine mingled with the stench of garbage from the dumpster. Sitting against the wall amid garbage that had spilled out were three men. It was a full minute before Bella recognised one of them as George. The five days' growth on his face couldn't hide the hollowness of his cheeks. He was inhaling deeply on a joint. The sleeve of his left arm was rolled up, and a length of tubing was loosely wrapped around his arm, the ends dangling. On his lap was a syringe. He looked up and noticed the two of them standing there. He held his hand out.
"Toke?" he offered, almost choking on the smoke that was still unreleased from his lungs.
"Not on your life, George."
"No! It can't be! Mr. Fitz - you out slummin' tonight? I got a ripe one I can trade you for . . ." He blinked up a few times at D's companion and his smile broadened. "Wait a second - Bella baby - fancy meeting you here." He turned back to D. "We got a deal? Compare sisters?"
"Just shut your foul mouth up."
"What you gonna do? Deck me again? Say . . . how is that sweet sister of yours anyway?"
"Don't tempt me Wicks." Anger burned in D's eyes, but he fought for control. "You are too damn pitiful for me to waste my time on."
"Where's Layla?" Bella took a step towards George. "Where's my sister you stinking excuse for a . . ."
"So I guess you know the truth now," he said as he began tightening the tubing on his arm. The other two men just sat and watched in amusement. "It was sure fun stringin' you along - I really had you goin' there. I was ready to burst out laughing the whole time! You really suspected this stuffed shirt?" he said, pointing at D. "It was too damn funny."
"I've already told you to shut up once." Bella could feel the ice in D's voice. She leaned closer and held on to him tightly. Her touch relaxed the rigidity of his body and he continued in a level tone. "There is only one thing we want to hear out of you - and that is the whereabouts of Bella's sister."
"How the hell should I know?" he said as he prepared his needle. "She's a useless piece of trash anyway - you're welcome to her." He found a vein in his left arm and stuck the needle in. He leaned back as the drug flowed into his system and his eyes glazed over.
"Where is she!" cried Bella, as he slumped over on his side, his head coming to rest between a greasy sandwich wrapper and a pool of sour smelling fluid.
"Your not gettin' nothin' more outta him for a while," jeered one of his companions. The other just ignored D and Bella, and reached across George to retrieve the tubing and the hypodermic.
"Do you know where she is?" asked Bella frantically.
"If you're talkin' about that broad he's shacked up with, the b**ch is turnin' tricks up on Main. He just sent her over there."
"What should we do about George?" asked Bella as D put his arm tightly around her shoulders and turned her to walk out of the alley.
"Leave him to rot in his own filth. What he's doing to himself is worse than anything either of us could do to him."
"What he said . . ."
"I don't care about anything he said. He was just trying to get a rise out of us."
They walked the few blocks to Hastings and Main in silence. Bella remembered how much it had scared her to be there at 11:00 in the morning - it was now almost 9:00 p.m. and the scene was much, much worse. She was thankful that she had D with her to hold her and keep her strong. How could she have coped without him? She could never have faced George by herself in that alley. The thought of what might have happened chilled her. She shivered and D rubbed her arm.
"Are you cold, love?" he asked gently.
"No."
"Don't worry - we'll find her and get her out of here."
At the corner there were all sorts of people milling around, but Bella couldn't see Layla anywhere. A police officer was doing his rounds, stopping every so often to share a few words with someone. Bella and D approached him.
"Hi. I wonder if you could help us. We're looking for my sister."
"Runaway?"
"Not really. She's living here with her boyfriend and he's got her working the street to pay for his habit."
"You're describing every second girl out here."
"Is there anything we can do about it, legally, I mean? Could we lay charges against him?"
"Sorry - you'd find it hard to get anything to stick, especially if your sister's not a minor. The best thing you can do for her is find her and take her home."
"Couldn't you arrest him for heroin?"
"If he was dealing. Look - the jails are choked with pushers and users. We could sweep all this trash off the streets tonight and they'd be out in the morning. We make dozens of arrests for soliciting, possession, and dealing every night. We put the minors in group homes but they just come back. Arrests aren't going to fix this problem - it's endemic. All these people are a symptom - the real problem is far bigger and more widespread than this. Really - my job mainly involves preventing these people from killing each other or themselves. There are only three ways out of here - rehab, religion, or body bag - and the only one that's guaranteed 100% is the body bag. Your sister's lucky to have you. I hope you find her."
Bella looked at D, despair clearly in her eyes. He held her tightly and whispered soothingly in her ear. An old wine-o sidled up to them and tapped D on the shoulder.
"I heard what you was talkin' about. If you go a block down Hastings, there's hookers outside that hotel."
"Thanks."
D led the way. Three girls were standing by the curb. The heavy makeup, shortness of their skirts, and stance signalled their occupation. Bella approached them to ask about Layla as D stepped back so they wouldn't mistake him for a prospective customer. He was peering in a window when a girl came up and touched him on his arm.
"Lookin' for some action?"
Bella turned away in time to see the skinny girl proposition D.
"Layla!"
She looked around. "Bell! What're you doin' here?"
"You called me! I've come to take you away."
"Well just a minute - I just gotta go somewhere with this cute guy for a little while. Wait for me, huh?"
Bella grabbed her arm. "He's not a John, Layla - he's with me. Let's go somewhere we can talk."
"But - I gotta get enough money. George only gave me a little fix - he promised me more if I delivered." She tried to shake loose from Bella's grip.
"You aren't getting anything more from George," said D taking her other arm and helping Bella steer her past staring pedestrians.
"Help! Rape! I'm being kidnapped," cried Layla as they passed a police officer. It was the same one Bella and D had spoken with earlier.
"Good luck," he called after them.
Layla calmed down and walked with them the few blocks to the car.
"Nice!" she said appreciatively.
D unlocked the car and opened the passenger door, but suddenly Layla balked and pulled away.
"You can't make me go with you."
"Layla, please, honey - you wanted me to get you."
"I changed my mind."
"I can't leave you here."
"You're not my mother, Bell. I don't have to do what you say. I'm stayin' with George." She crossed her arms over her skinny chest that was barely covered by her tiny red tank top.
"George is passed out in the alley, lying in a pool of urine," said D. "Bella has been worried sick about you. We drove for five hours straight, and then have been walking through the most disgusting part of town looking for you for the past two hours. You will get in the car if I have to put you in there myself."
She gave him a dirty look. "And I thought you were hot!"
"He is," said Bella. "Now get in."
"I need my clothes. I can't go without clothes."
D locked the car up again and they went back to the hotel room. Layla rummaged about the apartment, looking under the bed and through all the drawers. Finally she picked up handfuls of the scattered clothing and filled a black garbage bag. "Okay, I'm ready." At the bottom of the stairs she hesitated. "I wanna say goodbye to George."
"No," said Bella firmly. "George is out of your life forever."
"But I need . . ."
"Layla - we'll get you through this honey. No more fixes."
As they walked the crying Layla past the man at the desk he stopped them.
"She chekin' out? I need to be paid for two weeks."
"Get the money from George," said D brushing past him.
When they were finally in the car, Bella in the back seat holding on to a near hysterical Layla, D looked back at her and said, "Now what?"
"We take her home?"
"No, Bella. You can't handle her. She needs professional help. Anyway - it wouldn't be fair for you to have to put up with her. We'll have to take her to a hospital or something."
"I know. In my backpack - the front pocket - there's this business card."
D went to the trunk and was back in a moment with the card. "It's for a church."
"Yeah. I got that from the bus driver, Murray Bowen. He said that if I was in this part of town and needed help to call that number."
"Well, it's worth a try," said D. He smiled at Bella reassuringly and took out his cell phone. "I'll just go outside to call - it's quieter there."
Bella spent the duration of D's call alternating between comforting Layla and trying to stop her from getting out of the car.
When he got back in he said, "I've got an address. It's over by the Sky Train station near the Science Centre. We'll be there within ten minutes. Can you hang on?"
"I'll have to, won't I?" Bella smiled to show him not only that she was okay, but also how much she appreciated his help.
At the church office they were given juice and cookies, and they were told a caseworker was on the way. A very motherly woman sat and talked with Bella and Layla while D met with the pastor.
"Don't worry," said the lady. "We have a wonderful program. Your sister will be in the best of hands."
An hour later everything was finalised. Bella gave Layla a last hug before the caseworker took her to the rehab centre.
"The only thing left to figure out how I'm going to pay for this," said Bella. "I don't have a charge card, but can we organise direct payments from my account?"
"Don't worry about that - it's all been taken care of." The pastor smiled at Bella.
"You didn't pay for it, did you?" Bella turned to D accusingly. "I can't let you do that."
"I didn't pay for it directly," said D. "I gave them a donation to their program. Layla is getting a subsidy."
"That's the same thing."
"No it's not. Sure I organised Layla's subsidy to give you a break, but after what I've seen this evening I wanted to do something to help people get off the streets. We can't just wait around for them to kill themselves."
Bella could do nothing but hug him. Words didn't exist to express what she felt. They said goodbye to the pastor and returned to the car.
"What time is it?" asked Bella sleepily.
"11:15."
"You must be so tired after doing all the driving, and all the searching, and Layla's fuss, and organising it all so well. Thank you for everything. What would I have done without you?" She gave him a soft, lingering kiss.
"You would have managed - don't doubt yourself. You're one of the strongest people I know." He started the engine and put the car in gear.
"Where are we going?" Bella rested her head against his shoulder and he brought his arm around her. "You're so good at driving with one hand."
He kissed the top of her head. "I like having you close to me."
"You didn't answer my question."
"Sorry, you got me side-tracked. I don't have a house in Vancouver anymore, but I have a suite at my uncle's - we're going there."
"Isn't he going to wonder at you coming late at night with a girl . . ." She stopped in embarrassment, unable to finish the thought, then she persevered so he wouldn't get the wrong idea. "I mean, like suddenly - out of nowhere."
"He knows we're coming. I phoned him before we left home - the place is all prepared for us."
"Oh!" Bella was suddenly feeling very shy. She didn't think she was ready for this.
"You're getting Tess's room," said D, laughing at her.
Bella relaxed back against him. "Don't laugh at me," she said softly in a pleased voice.
His only answer was to kiss her hair again and keep driving. They passed darkened shops, half-lit office buildings, and apartment towers. The city landscape changed. They entered residential streets and the homes became increasingly bigger, the gardens more lush.
"What's bothering you, love?" he asked as Bella sighed.
"I'm thinking of George. I know it's stupid to waste thought on him, but I can't help it. He used to be a little boy - like any of the little boys at the school. How does an innocent child turn into someone as callous and unfeeling as him - such a user?"
"That is what is so amazing about you, Bella. Even after all he's done, you still have the capacity to feel compassion for the boy he used to be."
"So do you. Even though I know you felt like kicking the daylights out of him . . ."
"I left him to rot in a gutter? Very compassionate of me. What good would it have served if I had beat him up? He is the only one who would have been gratified if I'd done it."
"I know, but lots of guys wouldn't see it that way. I love your integrity."
"Perhaps we should form a mutual appreciation society."
Bella laughed, and he turned up a long winding drive, parking in front of a lit entranceway. She could see landscaped beds and tall trees looming out of the darkness.
"Where's the suite?" she asked.
"This is the suite," he said. "The main house is over there." He gestured off into the shadows to where the driveway continued on, up the slope.
Bella started to open her door.
"Wait," said D, pulling her into his arms. "There's something I want to do that's safer done out here." He began kissing her as he had the night before, when they were sitting on the hood of June's car. To Bella it was hard to believe only a little more than twenty-four hours had passed since then. It seemed like this day had been the longest in history.
Before she completely lost herself in his kisses, she pulled away and asked, "Why is it safer to kiss me in the car?"
"You ask the silliest questions." D lowered his head to hers and kissed her in such a way that made her fully understand his meaning.