Jump to new as of September 20, 2003
Jump to new as of September 22, 2003
Jump to new as of September 30, 2003

Chapter One

Posted on Sunday, 31 August 2003, at

"Well, Mr. Bennet,"said his wife, shaking her finger at him, "I can only say that if Lizzy had accepted Mr. Collins you never should have found it necessary to sell the northern fields of the farm to Mr. Thompkins at all."

Engaged by his wife's statement, Mr. Bennett sat up in his favorite library chair, peering at her over spectacles perched upon the tip of his nose.

"How so, my dear?" he questioned, "How would Lizzie's marrying my cousin have saved us the sale?" An incredulous explosion of laughter burst forth from Mrs. Bennet.

"Why we would have had one daughter off our hands, gone for her husband to support. Mr. Collins would not have wished you to sell off any part of what will come to him after your death by way of the entailment. Had he been your son-in-law as well as your heir, I'm sure he would have done anything he could have Longbourn in its entirety."

"Perhaps so Mrs. Bennet," he admitted, though not at all seriously, "but Mr. Collins is returned to Kent with his bride and we shall simply have to take pleasure in the knowledge that his loss is our gain both in the money from the sale and in our being able to enjoy Elizabeth here with us."

None of this conversation had been conducted quietly. When Messrs. Phillips and Thompkins left Longbourn, Mr. Bennet's library door remained ajar. With Kitty and Lydia arguing over who would have which of the fabrics Aunt Gardiner had brought from London for them all at Christmas and Jane and Mary studying in another part of the house, Elizabeth was the only one of the Bennet daughters to have overheard her parents. After her mother left the library, Elizabeth could wait no more.

"Papa!" she burst out, startling her father, who had been trying to settle back into the quiet comfort of his sanctuary, "You've sold the northern fields of Longbourn Farm?" Mr. Bennet removed his spectacles and rubbing his nose, replied a little painfully. "The expenses of a family of five daughters nearly grown is more than the resources of the estate have lately been able to generate."

Elizabeth seated herself across the desk from her father. Her mind raced with any possibilities of how the sale could have been avoided. "Could we not all have discussed these expenses, Papa, as a family? Perhaps we might have formed a plan of retrenchment." Her father shook his head.

"Lizzie, I have preached the gospel of retrenchment to your mother since our wedding day. As you see, she is no believer and has converted both Kitty and Lydia to follow her careless practices."

"Can she not see, did you not warn her what the necessities of her actions, of all their habits would be?" Elizabeth's practicality did not allow her to comprehend how her mother could have been so imprudent.

"Your mother sees only the necessity of making our home and our family suitable attract the proper sorts of husbands for her daughters."

"Then my marrying Mrs. Collins..." Mr. Bennet understood at once that Lizzie had overheard her parents' recent conversation. Raising from his chair, he walked to the window where she now stood. Putting his hand comfortingly on her shoulder, he said "Perhaps it may have helped in some small measure, Lizzie," he winked at her and tried not to smile, "after all, we could have enjoyed the condescension and patronage of Lady Catherine de Bourgh. From what we hear Mr. Collins say, that lady would surely know how to persuade your mother to retrench or even how we could somehow make Longbourn estate more profitable. Ultimately it would go to her greatest admirer. I'm sure Mr. Collins would view her advice on the subject to be most valuable." Elizabeth laughed with her father.

"For myself though, Lizzy, as you know, I would not have you married to Mr. Collins for the world, nor, I may add, to anyone you could not love and respect." Mr. Bennet turned away and muttered, "You recognize, no doubt, what a marriage where, in the beginning, passion overrules good sense becomes?" He was right. Daily she saw how little real regard her parents had for one another, how seldom any value for one had any bearing upon what the other did or said. Their marriage was a banter of her mother's imprudent flights of fancy and her father's retaliatory teasing and self-imposed exiles to his library. Yet he was resigned to its workings and whatever, such as the sale of the northern fields, had to be done because of them.

Mr. Bennet turned to face Elizabeth. "Mourn the sale if you like, Lizzy. Grieve the want of good sense that led to it. I have done both myself. The regrets and recriminations soon pass." His tone was dismissive. He kissed his daughter's forehead, sat down in his favorite chair, opened a book and concluded, " You and Jane are well respected hereabouts, Lizzy. I don't doubt but you will marry well. In doing so I'm sure you will introduce your younger sisters into better company where they may gain a modicum of good sense and entice some unsuspecting chaps to marry them as well. Between the five of you, your mother will be very adequately cared for, if she outlives me. It is the winter confinement and Jane being from home that has put you in this sad state, Lizzy."

He adjusted his spectacles and began to read, adding, "Worrying will do you no good. What was done is over and what will come next you can do little about."

Elizabeth closed the library door. It was foolish to worry, yet who would marry the Bennet girls, respected, if she and Jane really were, beautiful as they were reputed to be. Whatever their virtues, they could not logically captivate many men because of their father's dwindling fortune. What could she do? How could Elizabeth help her family?

Chapter Two

"I know you well enough, Papa," Elizabeth comforted her father humoringly, "you will find something to occupy yourself in your library to soothe your empty heart at my absence."

Mr. Bennet smiled. "My library is where I must go, as you say Lizzie, for until you or Jane return, I shall not hear two words of sense spoken together."

Elizabeth knew just how true this was, for Jane had been in London for better than two months and whilst Mr. Bennet secluded himself in his library, the winter months dragged on without that best-friend sister. Elizabeth was so in need of something different to do, some place new to see, that she could even accept the fact that Mr. Collins was part of the package. Surely he would find a way to demonstrate how fortunate Charlotte was to have accepted him after Elizabeth's rejection. She must receive it graciously, with tongue in cheek.

"With Jane in London and myself in Kent, Father, think how much expense will be saved."

Mr. Bennet shook his head slowly and smiled slightly, "True, my love, but such insignificant thrift does little for our overall financial well-being."

Elizabeth sighed. What could she do to help? "Perhaps Lady Catherine de Bourgh will have some gentleman in mind for me, Papa, if I ask her advice."

"Yes, well there you are my dear." Mr. Bennet concluded happily, "By all means, let her advise you, after all, Mr. Collins tells us she is the wisest of women."

After not too many days at Hunsford, Elizabeth found herself back in the routine of walking out. That Charlotte Collins accompanied her on many of those rambles did not surprise Elizabeth. Charlotte seemed to carefully consider what activities would expose her least to the company of her husband. Indeed, Charlotte contrived Mr. Collins' daily activities in that way as well. To feel such a scheme exigent proved to Elizabeth the importance of being able to love and respect one's mate, and yet Charlotte was no longer a financial burden on her parents, who, like the Bennets had several other children and very likely fewer resources than her own family. Perhaps Elizabeth, despite her objections, would be obligated to marry into a situation like Charlotte's. Watching him eat breakfast one morning, she thought, please God, if that must be the case, let my husband not be so stupid a man as William Collins.

Though Elizabeth's first choice for marriage was not to make one of convenience, there were more of her acquaintances than just Charlotte who were making them. Mr. Wickham, for instance, by marrying Mary King, hoped to improve his station in life. Such marriages were quite acceptable to society, but of what importance was social acceptance when one had to live with the consequences of what very well could be a distasteful convenience for the rest of one's life?

March 18, 18__

My Dear Nephew,

Anne and I are anticipating your impending Easter visit. Though our rector, Mr. Collins has recently married a young lady whose company we tolerably enjoy, a Miss Charlotte Lucas, from Hertfordshire, we are still sadly in want of really good company.

It seems, however, that spring will bring us more visitors, though not as significant as yourselves. Mrs. Collins' father, younger sister and a particular friend of hers, a Miss Elizabeth Bennet arrive two weeks before yourself and Colonel Fitzwilliam.

As patroness of this parish I find, though I condescend to spend my limited and valuable time with the likes of such people, that I am always a model to them of all that is enviable. That they may never attain such a level as what they see before them in Anne and myself is something they haven't the intelligence even to suspect.

So you see, nephew, you must come with the Colonel as soon as you may to give relief to your cousin and myself from such tedious company as this.

Of course my dear Anne particularly looks forward to your visit this year. Her health and general spirits are vastly improved over what they were last year upon your visiting us. I feel sure this must be the year the two of you will make me the happiest of women.

Your affectionate aunt,

Lady Catherine de Bourgh

That this information quickened not only the pace of his heart, but the rapidity of his butler in packing his things, he did not admit to himself. Miss Elizabeth Bennet was captivatingly beautiful and he found her conversation more interesting than any he had enjoyed since leaving her company in November, but she was not his social equal.

He told himself he hastened to see her again sooner than his planned arrival date at Rosings, because the Winter had been long; spent either in the nerve-wracking company of Miss Bingley and the Hursts and with his forlorn and withdrawn friend, Charles, or at Pemberley with Georgiana.

He and Georgiana had lately come down to London to break the tedium, but he had not been fortunate enough to see Bingley in town without Caroline poking her nose in under the guise of keeping Georgiana company.

Oddly, his sister did not want to accompany himself and Fitzwilliam into Kent, though he was surprised to hear her say to Miss Bingley that she thought she would. In so doing, Georgiana would likely be able to avoid not only that woman, but her badgering aunt Catherine and her sickly cousin Anne, who she told regretfully in a letter that she was obliged to spend time in town with her music master.

Chapter Three

Posted on Wednesday, 3 September 2003,

Mr. Darcy did not trust himself to analyze his feelings for Miss Elizabeth Bennet, either upon his return from Hertfordshire or at this moment as he and Colonel Fitzwilliam came to stay at Rosings. Had he allowed himself to identify them, he would have concluded that he was not yet in love; the length of their acquaintance and his objections to her situation in life restricted those sentiments, but he would have to say he was mesmerized, infatuated, drawn towards Elizabeth Bennet.

After a polite, just-arrived visit with their aunt and cousin, Darcy and Fitzwilliam were off to the parsonage to visit Mr. and Mrs. Collins and their guests.

Lady Catherine, of course, tried to persuade them not to leave the house so soon, for they hardly had time to visit with Anne at all. But it was Anne de Bourgh herself who admitted being too tired at that moment to continue their interview, thereby freeing them, and the gentlemen agreed to ride out with their cousin later in the day and left immediately.

Colonel Fitzwilliam knew not why his cousin was in so much haste to visit the home of their aunt's vicar, though Darcy was acquainted with him. Yet, when the two gentlemen were received at Hunsford parsonage, the Colonel quickly understood Darcy's reasoning and tuned out Mr. Collins' monotone in favor of Miss Elizabeth Bennet's lively conversation and beauty. His cousin, once so anxious to come to the place, said scarcely a word, except to ask after the welfare of Miss Bennet's family and appeared to be more ill at ease than Fitzwilliam had ever seen him, when dancing was not involved.

After more than an hour's visit, Mr. Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam took their leave, the later wondering why his friend had bothered to pay the call, the former offering no explanation, indeed no conversation at all.

Chapter Four

Posted on Thursday, 4 September 2003

In the woods surrounding Rosings a few afternoons after his visit to Hunsford cottage, Mr. Darcy, on horseback, met the very woman he yearned both to avoid and encounter. So torn was he at suddenly seeing her, he could not think of a sensible greeting, simply nodded in Miss Bennet's direction and turned his horse away.

Miss Bennet, for her part, began to wonder if Mr. Darcy was really the intelligent man she had once taken him for. His social skills certainly were lacking for a young man frequently exposed to good society.

That Mr. Darcy called again only the next afternoon, therefore, surprised Miss Bennet, who, with the absence of Mrs. Collins and Maria to contribute, was quite as much at a loss for conversational topics as her visitor had been the day before. After some long, silent moments, the two began to talk of the improvements Lady Catherine had made to Hunsford cottage when Mr. Collins first arrived.

Elizabeth thought perhaps she saw a smile curl the corners of Mr. Darcy's mouth when she responded that "Lady Catherine could not have bestowed her generosity on a more grateful object" than her vicar. Indeed Mr. Darcy would be a handsome man if he would smile more and make himself at ease. As it was, they turned to talking of how near Charlotte was settled to her family, how Mr. Darcy considered fifty miles an easy distance to travel in a short time and how he guessed Elizabeth, once she married, would not want to be settled too near her own family.

To know Mr. Darcy conjectured upon her being married and her feelings once she was, was unsettling to Elizabeth. She decided to turn the tables on her visitor.

"Mr. Darcy," Elizabeth began sweetly, looking up at Mr. Darcy from lowered eyelids, entirely disconcerting the gentleman, "I believe you and Mr. Wickham were childhood friends and that after his father's early death, you were raised almost as brothers."

Now Darcy was uncomfortable for a different reason. Elizabeth saw him shift uncomfortably in his chair. His head lifted to its customary haughty-looking position, his posture became stiff and he sighed. Miss Bennet expected an explanation.

"Yes, that is true." was all the reply she received. Elizabeth persevered.

"How is it then, sir, that the two of you are now..." she searched for the right word, "estranged?"

Mr. Darcy could tell Wickham had been very persuasive with his version of their story. Obviously Miss Bennet considered him to be the villain. Though his feelings for her were uncertain, Darcy certainly did not want Elizabeth to think ill of him, to believe incorrect information about him. His eyelids closed briefly and Elizabeth could tell she'd upset him. She almost wanted to reach out to him and tell him he didn't need to tell her about his dealings with Wickham, but then she remembered how unfairly, how cruelly Mr. Darcy had treated him and she allowed him to anguish a little before responding.

Darcy recounted the true history between himself and Wickham, leaving out his attempted elopement with Georgiana. He admonished her to ask Colonel Fitzwilliam if she did not believe his account.

When he'd finished, Elizabeth knew not how to respond, indeed she had so many conflicting thoughts going through her mind, she wasn't conscious of what she was doing.

Darcy sensed what she was feeling and that his best course would be politely to leave her to her thoughts. He gave her a few moments to pose any questions, but there were none.

Elizabeth considered his departure sudden, but was glad to be alone to sort things out. Darcy wondered who would emerge the victor in Miss Bennet's mind, himself or Wickham. But he would find he had a new challenger for her regard. It was no longer Wickham, but his cousin, Colonel Fitzwilliam.

Chapter Five

Posted on Thursday, 4 September 2003

The Sunday following the gentlemen's arrival was Easter and Mr. Collins, as always, prepared the sermon just as Lady Catherine had prescribed. He waited by the chapel door until all the parishioners had entered and Lady Catherine and her entourage arrived, then Mr. Collins escorted them past the standing congregation (for Lady Catherine like to see the distinction of rank observed) to the front pew, which was padded by a long needlepoint cushion depicting several DeBourgh family crests. Colonel Fitzwilliam could hardly suppress a laugh at this petty formality and his cousin covered his embarrassment by holding his head high, his posture erect and his eyes straight ahead during the entire procession, though he knew full well Mrs. Collins, her father, sister and Miss Bennet sat just behind them.

As directed by Lady Catherine, the Easter service contained more than the usual congregational hymns. Lady Catherine could not carry a tune, but sang out boldly as if she could and of course Anne would have sung beautifully, had her health permitted, but as it was, she silently mouthed the words. Fitzwilliam and Darcy, who could both sing quite well, had learned to seat themselves as far from their aunt as possible and though the Colonel's voice rang out, Darcy could not concentrate on the music for being distracted by the beauty and clarity of Miss Elizabeth Bennet's singing behind him.

Several times during the service Darcy wanted to turn his head at least to acknowledge Miss Bennet, but did not think it appropriate. He imagined the beautiful pink dress and bonnet she was wearing. He knew they were pink because he'd seen Elizabeth out of the corner of his eyes as their procession passed by. He could imagine her clear, rosy complexion and bright eyes, the rise and fall of the little garnet cross she wore around her neck as she sang.... He must concentrate on the sermon, such diversions had no place in church, and yet he could feel her warmth behind him.

When the meeting came to a close, the DeBourgh contingent rose, with the audience once again, and left the church, Mr. Collins escorting his patroness. When Miss Bennet finally came out of the church, Lady Catherine was still advising Mr. Collins on various concerns of the parish, while her daughter and her companion, Mrs. Jenkinson and her nephews waited for her nearby.

It was Colonel Fitzwilliam who addressed Miss Bennet first and said precisely what his cousin meant to, "Miss Bennet," he bowed to her, as did his cousin just behind him. Miss Bennet curtsied in response. "We very much enjoyed the addition of your beautiful voice this morning. I cannot say I was surprised at its beauty, for though Darcy here has said very little since we came into Kent, he has mentioned how much he enjoyed hearing you play and sing in Hertfordshire."

Elizabeth was very surprised at Mr. Darcy's praise and glanced briefly at him to see the same slight blush on his face as she felt upon her own. Mr. Darcy is very kind," she explained to the Colonel, but I must say he had not many performers to compare me with in Hertfordshire."

The Colonel laughed and Darcy longed to join the conversation, but could not think sensibly for being overwhelmed at her nearness. She was even more lovely than he had imagined her earlier. "Oh, but Miss Bennet, my cousin has had the opportunity to hear many talented young women sing, whilst he's been in town and so have I, so you see, our assessment is a fair one."

Darcy opened his mouth to agree with the Colonel just as his aunt called to him. Reluctantly he excused himself and went to her. Lady Catherine asked him to return to the church and collect Anne's parasol, which she had probably left under the pew by accident.

Inwardly Darcy groaned. From the corner of his eye he saw his cousin walking toward the parsonage with Miss Bennet on his arm. "Damn!" Darcy swore under his breath. Perhaps he could catch them if he was quick in the church. His long legs covered the short distance quickly and he soon retrieved the parasol, but just as he turned the corner from the DeBourgh pew to the aisle of the church, there, on the floor, partially hidden underneath the next pew back, the one Mrs. Collins and her company had sat upon, was a white prayer book. Darcy stopped and picked it up. The leather cover was engraved with the owner's name: ELIZABETH BENNET.

This was the very excuse he needed to catch up to Fitzwilliam and Miss Bennet. A few long strides brought him to his cousin Anne , who thanked him for returning the parasol but as he turned to excuse himself and go towards Miss Bennet, his aunt prevailed upon him again to help them into their carriage and see them home, "Unlike Fitzwilliam, who has abandoned us." she whined. Darcy began to apologize and go on his planned route, when the thought occurred to him that he could return Elizabeth's prayer book some time when he could speak to her alone, when his cousin couldn't monopolize what was said and make him look so conversationally inept.

He slipped the little prayer book under his vest and helped the ladies into the carriage, getting in afterwards himself. From the window he saw Elizabeth and Fitzwilliam, now flanked by Mr. and Mrs. Collins, her father and sister not far behind. Yes, he thought to himself, this latter was a better plan. If he was to divert Miss Bennet away from Colonel Fitzwilliam, he could do it much better without such interference.

Chapter Six

Posted on Friday, 5 September 2003

Darcy's plan to speak alone to Elizabeth could not soon be achieved. His cousin, it seemed, had discovered or was informed of Miss Bennet's walking route each morning and if he wanted to see the lady, he had to join her with the Colonel, not unpleasant company if he couldn't see how much Miss Bennet enjoyed walking and chatting with Fitzwilliam. Darcy felt his own presence to be intrusive, not so much because the two were growing so fond of one another, but because the path rarely admitted three persons and, as before, Darcy hardly contributed to the conversation. Neither Miss Bennet nor Colonel Fitzwilliam understood why Darcy deigned to spend his time with them. Separately they put it down to Darcy's wishing to be out of the company of Lady Catherine and Anne DeBourgh and that there was nothing better for him to do alone, without his cousin.

And yet, Colonel Fitzwilliam told Elizabeth, Darcy had postponed their departure for another week after a fortnight's visit. To Elizabeth, Mr. Darcy was an enigma. After his second visit to the parsonage, Charlotte said Mr. Darcy must be in love with her, but Elizabeth hardly believed that would be true, after all, he rarely directed a word to her.

During the third week of Mr. Darcy's visit to Rosings, Lady Catherine again entertained Mr. and Mrs. Collins and all the remaining guests at Hunsford Cottage, for Sir William Lucas had returned home. Of course her nephews, Anne and Mrs. Jenkinson attended as well. Lady Catherine felt truly beneficent. How fortunate the Hunsford group was to spend their evening in such company.

After dinner and advisement were over, (for Lady Catherine felt it incumbent upon her to instruct the young people on any pertinent point) the pianoforte was opened and Elizabeth, with some coaxing from Charlotte, was found to be the only one willing to perform. While Elizabeth played, the Colonel stood by her, turning pages, as necessary. Mr. Darcy sat passive looking as always, seemingly listening to his aunt drone on about some new topic, but secretly trying without much success to hear what his cousin was saying to Miss Bennet.

How, he wondered, could his cousin waste his time on a woman who suited him not at all? Fitzwilliam required a wealthy wife and though Elizabeth Bennet was beautiful and engaging, she had very little wealth to make her attractive to any man. Yet Fitzwilliam continually sought her company and Miss Bennet seemed to enjoy it. Darcy told himself it was nothing to be concerned about, the two of them would leave soon and Colonel Fitzwilliam would never see Miss Bennet again. But Darcy didn't want to leave, he wanted to have Miss Bennet to himself. He could hardly admit to himself-he wanted his cousin, one of his greatest friends, out of the way. He was jealous, and if he was jealous he must be…

Suddenly, hearing Elizabeth' laughter at something Fitzwilliam said, Darcy was brought straight to his feet and into the music room. He could contain his jealousy no longer. It was time he gave his cousin some competition. There was no reason he couldn't be equally as charming. Elizabeth teased him about coming in to intimidate her as she played and then proceeded to recount the unfortunate circumstances of their meeting at the Meryton Assembly. This delighted Colonel Fitzwilliam and Darcy felt he was adding to their enjoyment of each other rather than paving his own way with Elizabeth.

Just then Lady Catherine interrupted, wanting to know what they were talking of, ending any further interaction, yet Darcy was energized. He would meet Miss Bennet alone and when he did, he would make her realize he was more interesting than his cousin could ever be. He would make her see that she was in love, just as he was.

The next day when Mr. Darcy called at the parsonage, Elizabeth had already left with Charlotte and Maria. Since he and Colonel Fitzwilliam had to leave Kent in just a few days time, he was most anxious to spend all the time he could with Miss Bennet, taking her away from his cousin's influence. The party from the parsonage was invited to tea at Rosings late that afternoon. Before that, Darcy hoped to find Elizabeth walking alone in the Park.

Indeed that was just where the afternoon and the two cousins found Miss Bennet and she was thinking about them both as she rambled. When she heard Colonel Fitzwilliam say he and Mr. Darcy were definitely leaving soon, she was rather relieved. For all the time the Colonel spent with her, she knew he meant nothing by it for he had informed her early in their acquaintance that, being the younger son of an earl, he planned to do the logical thing and marry a wealthy woman. Elizabeth wanted to say that she too would probably need to do the same. Perhaps that was just the way of things, maybe marrying for love was for dreamers.

Midway through her walk Elizabeth met the Colonel, who said he was making his annual tour of the Park. She accepted his offer to walk together.

Elizabeth's opinion of Mr. Darcy had changed somewhat while she'd been in Kent. Upon reflection of his account of Mr. Wickham, she had found Darcy's version to be believable and she had consulted Colonel Fitzwilliam during one of their visits to verify it, so she could no longer consider Darcy to be the villain Wickham painted him. Her opinion of his pride and haughtiness had also altered. She now saw that he was quiet in a large group and restrained with people he didn't know well, but once he became interested in whatever was being discussed, he could be quite animated and interesting.

Elizabeth also saw with amusement Mr. Darcy's opinion of his aunt. Though he was never rude to her, she could tell his patience with Lady Catherine wore thin and she saw absolutely no regard, other than politeness from him toward his cousin. Indeed, though she'd spent more time in Kent with Colonel Fitzwilliam and he liked him very much, he had to admit to herself that she preferred Mr. Darcy.

To make conversation as they went along the park, Elizabeth asked the Colonel what he and Mr. Darcy would be doing after they left Rosings. The Colonel replied that he was obliged to rejoin his regiment, while Mr. Darcy had business first in town with his friend, Mr. Bingley and then needed to return to his estate in Derbyshire.

Elizabeth asked Colonel Fitzwilliam if he knew Mr. Bingley and added that she knew him from Hertfordshire. The Colonel admitted he knew Bingley slightly and added that Darcy, while in town, meant to advise his friend about whether he should keep or quit his property in Hertfordshire.

Elizabeth stated that she believed it would be unfortunate for the neighborhood if Bingley quit Netherfield, but the Colonel hinted that Bingley would likely do so to avoid "a most imprudent marriage". He went on to describe his cousin's help in extricating Bingley from what could be an undesirable liaison.

Elizabeth left no doubt in the Colonel's mind that she thought the whole affair to be none of Mr. Darcy's business, that Mr. Bingley should be free to choose whom he would love. Pleading a headache, Colonel Fitzwilliam saw Elizabeth back to the Parsonage.

Mr. Darcy, on horseback, spotted the two of them just as they had entered there. He swore softly under his breath again, cursing his bad timing. His chances to speak with Elizabeth in Kent were quickly running out.

Chapter Seven

Posted on Wednesday, 10 September 2003

That same afternoon, when she had returned to the parsonage, Elizabeth received a letter from Jane. She was heartened to receive word from the sister who had always been her touchstone, but as she began to read, Elizabeth's anger toward Mr. Darcy's interference between Mr. Bingley and Jane increased.

When Jane finished writing the news of the Meryton-Longbourn neighborhood, she began lamenting how much she wished she could have been of help to her family by possibly marrying that gentleman, not only because she loved Mr. Bingley and he was "the most excellent man of her acquaintance", but also because she knew "her dear family" could have benefited financially from their union. Obviously Jane knew of their father's money problems and this revelation brought a tear to Elizabeth's eye. She had wanted so badly to share that news with Jane when she first learned of it, but had not done so due Jane's disappointment at Mr. Bingley's sudden departure from Netherfield and his sister's information that he might soon be married to Georgiana Darcy.

In her letter Jane repeated her earlier assertion to Elizabeth that at least one of the Bennet sisters would have to marry very well, but at present it seemed none of them could.

Elizabeth caught herself sitting for an undetermined time, staring into space, wanting to cry, but being unable to, wondering if she should reply to Jane's letter and if so, what she would say. Time brought no answers or relief and when the time came for the Collinses, Maria and herself to walk to Rosings for tea, Elizabeth had a headache she felt could rival her mother's worst and excused herself.

Mr. Collins was adamant his cousin should come despite her ill health, for, after all, what would Lady Catherine think if she did not come? Mrs. Collins prevailed, however, and the three of them left Elizabeth to rest and recover in peace.

Elizabeth had just began reading Jane's letter again when the doorbell rang and she heard Mr. Darcy's voice. The Rosings party would barely have had time to finish their tea, let alone the unavoidable conversation afterwards. She was surprised at how immediately he must have left them.

The gentleman was introduced. In an hurried manner he immediately began an enquiry after her health, imputing his visit to a wish of hearing that she were better. Remembering Colonel Fitzwilliam's information about Darcy's selfish interference between his friend and her sister, she answered him with cold civility. He sat down for a few moments and then getting up, walked about the room. Elizabeth was surprised, but said not a word. After a silence of several minutes, he came towards her in an agitated manner and thus began.

"In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you."

Elizabeth's astonishment was beyond expression. She stared, coloured, doubted and was silent. This he considered sufficient encouragement, and the avowal of all that he felt and had long felt for her immediately followed. He spoke well, but there were feelings besides those of the heart to be detailed, and he was not more eloquent on the subject of tenderness than of pride. His sense of her inferiority- of its being a degradation-of the family obstacles which judgment had always opposed to inclination, were dwelt on with a warmth which seemed due to the consequence he was wounding, but was very unlikely to recommend his suit.

In spite of her deeply-rooted dislike, she could not be insensible to the compliment of such a man's affection, and though her intentions did not vary for an instant, she was at first sorry for the pain he was to receive; till roused to resentment by his subsequent language, she lost all compassion in anger. She tried, however, to compose herself to answer him with patience, when he should have done. He concluded with representing to her the strength of that attachment which, in spite of all his endeavors, he had found impossible to conquer; and with expressing his hope that it would now be rewarded by her acceptance of his hand. As he said this, she could easily see that he had no doubt of a favourable answer. He spoke of apprehension and anxiety, but his countenance expressed real security. Such a circumstance could only exasperate farther and when he ceased, the colour rose into her cheeks.

It took all the composure Elizabeth had within her not to jump up and run sobbing from the room. She had been emotionally unsettled first by Colonel Fitzwilliam's disclosure, then by Jane's letter and now by this insulting excuse for a marriage proposal-it was all too much for her. Elizabeth's eyes filled with frustrated, angry tears. Not wanting Mr. Darcy to see, she rose from her chair and following an example of his, walked to the sitting room window, unable to reply.

If she could have spoken Elizabeth's thoughts weren't coherent enough to have made sense. After some uncomfortable time of silence between them, Elizabeth, still struggling to compose herself and Darcy attempting to understand what had so upset her, the gentleman began to consider what he had said.

As Darcy knew neither the contents of his cousin's recent conversation with Elizabeth nor her letter from Jane, Miss Bennet's current distress must have come from him. In his mind he replayed the words of his proposal and it occurred to him that among his own relations there existed a few objectionable characters. In truth his aunt Catherine was equally as intractable and offensive and Mrs. Bennet and though his cousin Anne was passive and sickly, in her own way she was just as insipid as Lydia. The fact was the de Bourghs should have been better behaved, because of their rank and station, than the Bennets who had fewer advantages in life.

Georgiana was shy and young, but not much younger than Kitty or Lydia and in her own way, had she not acted foolishly in nearly eloping with Wickham last summer and Georgiana had a governess, unlike the Miss Bennets. He himself should have chosen better than Mrs. Younge. And with whom did he spend much of his time? Granted, his association with Miss Bingley and the Hursts was a result of his friendship with Charles, but could Elizabeth prevent her connection to her father or Mr. Collins? Of course not. It was a compliment to Miss Bennet's character than she had turned out to be so refined and pleasant. Indeed her own disposition was beyond reproach. What an arrogant hypocrite he had been to attack the people closest to her so savagely and in the same breath to tell her he loved her.

Neither of them knew how much time had passed in this silent agony, but suddenly Miss Bennet attempted to excuse herself from the room, explaining that presently she was unable to continue their conversation because of ill health.

Again he had been insensitive, Darcy chided himself, had Miss Bennet not stayed behind at the parsonage because she was ill? He did not remember if, when he came in, he had asked after her health. Self-concerned egotist! How could he ever have considered she would accept him when he acted so unkindly?

"Miss Bennet," Darcy said in a pleading voice, reaching out to gently take the top of her arm, "please allow me to do something to apologize for my abhorrent behavior just now. It was unforgivable." Carefully he lead her to the divan and seating himself facing her, taking both her hands in his and looking into her eyes, it occurred to him how much she'd been crying. He took his handkerchief from his pocket and tenderly dabbed away the tears that continued to fall. "I've been horrible to you." he murmured "I'm surprised you remained here listening to my insults as long as you have." He stopped dabbing, handed her the handkerchief , softly placed his finger under her chin raising it so he could look into her lowered eyes and said, "Miss Bennet, may I have your permission to begin again?"

Elizabeth was so taken aback by his concerned affection and gentlemanliness that she'd stopped crying. She had to admit her heart was touched with the beginnings of forgiveness and she very much wanted to hear what he had to say, when the sitting room door suddenly opened revealing Mr. and Mrs. Collins and Maria.

Without a word, an embarrassed Elizabeth quickly left them all for her room above stairs. She had no wish to try and explain to the newcomers what they had seen.

Mr. Darcy then was left to that task and told the group that he had come to the parsonage to ask after Miss Bennet's health since she hadn't come to tea at Rosings. In order to shorten any potential conversation, Darcy admitted he had found Elizabeth still very ill, had tried to comfort her, but should have left her alone to rest. At that, Mr. Darcy bowed politely, wished them good evening and left the house, its three inhabitants still having said nothing.

When Charlotte came to Elizabeth's room shortly thereafter, the latter repeated Mr. Darcy's explanation and Elizabeth assured her friend it was true and she would feel better after a good night's sleep.

Chapter Eight

Posted on Saturday, 13 September 2003, at 6

But Elizabeth did not sleep. Mr. Darcy's proposal and subsequent apology played repeatedly in her mind. Since she had not responded, would he apply to her again the next day, and if so, what would she answer? She had always wanted to marry for love and she did not love Mr. Darcy, though her opinion of him had undergone some improvement during her time in Kent.

She had scorned Charlotte for marrying Mr. Collins, yet the marriage improved Charlotte's social situation and she claimed to be very content at Hunsford. Elizabeth was quite unsuccessful at keeping the thought that marrying Mr. Darcy would leave her family with one less child to support and give them means to help financially from her mind. Furthermore, their union would make it possible for her to expose Kitty and Lydia to better society and more easily encourage them to behave prudently as she did so. These realizations tempted Elizabeth, yet to have to settle for a loveless marriage....

To hear Mr. Darcy tell it, he was very much in love with her, so much so as to have overcome his many objections to marrying her. Was she a good enough actress to make him believe she loved him, to convince him to overcome his prejudices against her family or would he ask her to shun them after they were married?

She had never seen Pemberley. By all descriptions it was a vast estate. Did she have the abilities necessary to be mistress not only of that place, but a home in London as well? It was not possible to forget that in marrying Mr. Darcy, her husband would be the man who prevented her sister's union with Mr. Bingley. If Jane and Bingley had married, she would never have to consider Mr. Darcy's offer, for just as Jane's letter had said, Mr. Bingley would have helped the Bennets financially. But the deed was done-Bingley and Jane were separated, and yet, as Mr. Darcy's wife, she would be more able to persuade her husband of Jane's love and suitability for his friend, who must certainly be in their company just as he often was now. These thoughts turned over and over in Elizabeth's mind without satisfaction until finally she wore herself out and slept.

At Rosings, Mr. Darcy himself got little rest, although Lady Catherine was told her nephew had retired early. Again he agonized over every word of that evening's proposal. His objections to Elizabeth's family, he found now, meant nothing to him, except that they had obviously hurt her. He must speak with Elizabeth, yet he'd already postponed his departure twice and Colonel Fitzwilliam was compelled to be in town day after tomorrow. Would Elizabeth feel well enough to attend church services the next morning as was her habit? He would try to intercept her afterwards and allow Fitzwilliam to see his aunt home. Darcy worked out in his mind what he would say to Miss Bennet. This time his proposal must not fail. Morning could not come too soon.

Sunday morning dawned bright and sunny and Elizabeth wondered if Mr. Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam had left for town as the latter had said they soon would. After her outburst the previous evening, perhaps Mr. Darcy had already forgotten her and was leaving as soon as he could, thanking his lucky stars she hadn't accepted him.

Of course the gentlemen had not left Rosings. Darcy took great care dressing and set out to the church earlier than his aunt's entourage. Elizabeth too had dressed with care, but she took no satisfaction in the way she looked as she checked the mirror on the way out, the lack of sleep had taken its toll.

To avoid too much conversation about her health and the scene with Mr. Darcy the night before, Elizabeth too left for the church before the Collinses. Thoughts churned in her mind in no particular order. As she walked, she remembered for some reason the evening at Netherfield when Mr. Darcy was writing a letter to his sister. He must love Miss Darcy just as much as she loved Jane. Miss Bingley said Mr. Darcy wanted his sister to marry Mr. Bingley. Maybe that was the reason he objected to Jane as a prospective bride for his friend.

Elizabeth tried to put herself in Mr. Darcy's place. Though he explained his struggle, he had overcome his objections to her family or at least proposed to her anyway, despite them. Perhaps he was not as awful as she'd thought him yesterday. Indeed, as she looked up and saw him walking toward her. The sight of him made her pulses race, she had to admit he was a very handsome man... and her family could be overbearing and obnoxious. It was her love for them that made her able to overlook these qualities.

Elizabeth's mind ramblings continued as she remembered his arrogant approach to most everyone; his aunt and Cousin Anne, Miss Bingley and even to herself during his proposal. His professions of love last night showed no affection at all. Would he be cruel to her as a husband? Was he capable of tenderness? Later though, he had apologized for the unkind way he had proposed and even asked permission to begin again. He had held her hands and dried her tears with his handkerchief...

If she was to accept his proposal, all her objections and fears must be overridden in favor of the needs of her family. By marrying Mr. Darcy she could prove her value to her father. She could salvage what he could not.

If she accepted him, she asked herself for the thousandth time, was she being mercenary? She would be an asset to Mr. Darcy. She'd learn to be the finest mistress Pemberley had ever known. She'd bear the Darcy children and raise them well. She would earn every penny that came her way as his wife.

Many women married without love and had children in loveless unions. Could she be intimate with Mr. Darcy? But having a sweet little baby that would be all her own would make almost anything bearable-and an heir to an apparently great estate...What would Lady Catherine think when she heard the news? The last thought she had as Mr. Darcy greeted her was that maybe this gentleman really had no intention of renewing his addresses.

"Good morning, Miss Bennet." he began. She replied with a similar greeting. "It is perhaps fortunate that we were interrupted by the Collinses last evening." Oh no, Elizabeth thought, it sounds as if he's going to back out of his offer. Darcy continued, "You were upset and very rightly so. The time between then and now has allowed us both, I hope, to think...." He seemed unsure of how to go on. Elizabeth felt she should encourage him by just a word. "Yes." She said simply, acknowledging she too had been thinking about that conversation.

Apparently that was all he needed. His words spilled out rapidly. "Miss Bennet, please allow me to apologize again for my unforgivable slights upon your family. I am quite aware now that my own relations and friends have amongst them those who do not always behave as perhaps they should."
At this admission Elizabeth smiled and wondered if they were both thinking of the same people.

"I cannot recall the precise moment, though I have often tried, that I first began to admire you. I think it could have been that evening we met at the Meryton Assembly. I know that while you were nursing your sister at Netherfield I certainly enjoyed our conversations. They were different from any I have ever shared with a young lady." Elizabeth lowered her head slightly to hide a blush and Mr. Darcy could not see her smile, but he did hear her delightful laugh at what he said.

"Whenever I have had the privilege of hearing you play and sing, I have very much enjoyed the performance." said Mr. Darcy, smiling. Elizabeth received his compliment gratefully, disarming him with her own smile. "Thank you, sir." Mr. Darcy could not see nay sign of objection from Elizabeth to what he was saying, even better, there were no tears in sight, so he went on, much more seriously, twisting the ring on his little finger self-consciously.

"Miss Bennet, the last five years of my life, since my father's death, have been filled with great responsibility towards my sister, towards Pemberley and concerns in town." Here Darcy hesitated and Elizabeth felt he wanted to share something quite personal. They had continued walking slowly toward the church, but now they stopped. He looked at the ground as he began again.

"I didn't realize, until I met you, Miss Bennet, how really..." Mr. Darcy searched for the right words. "You have made me feel alive again. Truly I can't imagine my future-- that is to say I don't want to go forward... You are unlike anyone I have ever met and I beg you to forgive this wretched excuse for a proposal, excuses I should say, for both last evening's and this morning's have been so, and to send me off to London with my cousin tomorrow with your promise to marry me. And I will leave you with my own vow to spend our lives together making you happy."

Here Mr. Darcy took her hands in his and looked pleadingly into those fine eyes. Elizabeth smiled at him again and blushed saying, "I find nothing lacking in your offer this morning, Mr. Darcy and I accept it most gratefully." The gentleman responded with a relieved smile and a light kiss to both her hands.

The bells of Rosings estate church began to ring, calling the residents of Hunsford village to worship. "We'd better continue our walk toward the church, Mr. Darcy, before we're late and attract undue attention." Mr. Darcy nodded in agreement, laughed slightly and they resumed their walking.

"What would you think, Elizabeth-" Mr. Darcy hesitated, looking for her approval at using her given name. She smiled her consent and he continued, "If we were to inform no one of our engagement at present, save Colonel Fitzwilliam, until we are both returned to Hertfordshire and I am able to ask your father's permission?" Elizabeth easily agreed. The two joined their friends and family at the church with amazingly few questions, since they had not seen Darcy and Elizabeth arrive together.

Before Colonel Fitzwilliam and Mr. Darcy left for London the next day, a date, a fortnight hence was fixed for the latter to speak with Mr. Bennet. By that time Elizabeth would be home at Longbourn and Mr. Darcy finished with his business in town.

Chapter Nine

Colonel Fitzwilliam rejoiced in his cousin's success at engaging Miss Elizabeth Bennet, expressing his admiration for her and his envy that Darcy had found someone to love. Understanding now the reason, his mind was set at ease as to Darcy's erratic behavior at Rosings.

Darcy felt himself indeed a lucky man, yet it occurred to him that he had declared he loved Elizabeth while she had not mentioned her feelings for him at all. There had been no time, he told himself. The proposal was accepted within a day's time of his leaving her in Kent and with people constantly around the two of them, she could hardly have expressed such sentiments. Still he wondered if his fiancée did love him. If she did, he determined, so much the better. If not, he would do everything in his power to court her and win that love.

His business elsewhere at an end, Darcy arrived at Netherfield just a few days after Bingley returned there himself for the first time since the previous November. Darcy had been obliged to tell his friend why he was returning to Hertfordshire, hoping Bingley would offer to open his home there again so that he could take the next few months to prove to Elizabeth that he was worthy of her love. Bingley did not hesitate to offer his home to Darcy, who had the impression Bingley wished to continue his pursuit of Jane Bennet. He felt as he had when they'd left Netherfield last fall, that Miss Bennet had no particular regard for Bingley, but he could hardly object to his friend's desired courtship.

Very shortly after Mr. Darcy's arrival in Hertfordshire, he came to Longbourn with Mr. Bingley at a time when he knew Mr. Bennet to be at home. Their visit was quite a surprise to all the Bennet family, save Elizabeth, who wondered a hundred times if she should tell Mr. Darcy, before he spoke to her father, that she had changed her mind about their marrying.

Mrs. Bennet was so pleased to see Mr. Bingley come to call upon Jane again that she did not notice her second daughter take their other visitor in to speak privately with her husband in his library.

Mr. Bennet gave his consent to Mr. Darcy, how could he not to such a wealthy, powerful young gentleman? But he asked himself if he agreed to the marriage because he thought his daughter truly in love with the man or because Elizabeth's marriage would be a welcome solution to many of his financial woes. He could not, he assured himself, imagine Elizabeth would ever marry a man with whom she was not in love, and yet, he had shared the family's money dilemmas with her and Elizabeth, he knew, had a great loyalty and affection for her family. She may well have accepted Darcy to help them.

Of Darcy's affection, Mr. Bennet had no doubt, not because he had witnessed it when the gentleman was last in Hertfordshire or because he had expressed his love for Elizabeth, which he had, quite prettily. It was because Mr. Darcy was marrying so far beneath himself socially that Mr. Bennet knew the man must love his daughter and perhaps enough for Elizabeth to be persuaded to love her new husband in time. Darcy was an honorable gentleman, for he wished Elizabeth to be his wife, not his mistress. And so, in ten minutes time after his consent had been given and Mr. Darcy had left the library to inform his fiancée of it, Mr. Bennet had consoled and even congratulated himself on the propriety of this marriage.

Elizabeth Bennet was to marry Fitzwilliam Darcy early in July at Pemberley. Immediately following the public announcement of their engagement in Hertfordshire, the couple simplified the chaos of Mrs. Bennet's over enthusiasm about it by leaving for London. Elizabeth was to stay with the Gardiners, who were surprised and pleased at their niece's announcement, but curious to know how Elizabeth's opinion of her finance had come to change so measurably since Christmas. Mr. Bennet accompanied his daughter as they both were to be involved with Mr. Darcy's attorneys in the financial terms surrounding the marriage, meetings that weren't entirely comfortable for either of the Bennets, but which proved more than the solution to the family's fiscal issues. Mr. Darcy entertained his fiancée and her father, for the fortnight he was in town, so graciously that Mr. Bennet felt sure he could become quite content to visit his favorite daughter, her new husband and their libraries quite often.

Miss Darcy's home since her father's death had largely been in London and her brother gladly introduced her to his fiancée. Elizabeth and Georgiana admired one another immediately and became more friendly each time they met. Elizabeth included Georgiana along with Mrs. Gardiner in her shopping for wedding clothes and trousseau items and Mr. Darcy and his sister were often invited to Gracechurch Street. Both brother and sister enjoyed their new relationship with the Gardiners, who though younger than their parents, were as endearing adults as they'd met in many years.

Even with Elizabeth staying in Cheapside and seeing the Darcys several times during the week, she and Mr. Darcy had relatively little time alone together. One afternoon Darcy contrived to speak to Elizabeth, as privately as he could, by asking her to walk out with him in a large park not far from his home. They walked along discussing how different aspects of their wedding plans were coming along, when Mr. Darcy stopped to sit with her under an arbor covered with climbing white roses.

Elizabeth sighed, closing her parasol and exclaimed at the beauty of the day. "Yes, it is quite lovely today." Darcy agreed, "But I must say, a superior beauty sits next to me." He took her gloved hand and kissed it gently. Elizabeth blushed deeply and thanked him. She was still unaccustomed to his affections though there had not been time or place for many of them since their engagement, with all the bustle of trying to get wedding errands accomplished before their departure for Pemberley.

Mr. Darcy reached into his pocket with the hand not holding hers and pulled out a small white book, which Elizabeth immediately recognized. "My prayerbook!" She exclaimed,
"How do you come to have it? It's been missing since I was in Kent."

Now it was Darcy's turn to blush. "Lady Catherine sent me back into the church for something Anne had left behind and I saw your book on the floor near the place you'd been sitting. I meant to give it to you, using it as an excuse for us to walk back to the parsonage together, but then Lady Catherine asked me to accompany herself and Anne back to Rosings in the carriage. Fitzwilliam, you will remember, saw you to the parsonage."

Ah, yes," Elizabeth recalled laughing, "with Mr. Collins singing the praises of his aunt all the way." Darcy smiled, thinking maybe he had had the best of things that day.

"And so, in apology for my having kept your prayer book this long while," here he looked down at it rather sheepishly, "though I admit when we were apart I was very glad to have anything to remind me of you, I have made an addition to it." Here he handed the prayer book to its owner, who read the engraved letters on its leather cover: "ELIZABETH BENNET DARCY," she read aloud softly, blushing yet again and looking up at him, "Thank you, William." she added in the same almost whispered tone," I shall be sure not to leave it behind again." Their eyes met and seemed to draw them together, the perfect moment to kiss her, Darcy thought and his lady surprised herself by hoping that would be just what would happen. Exactly at that moment, another group of walkers passed by them noisily and the mood was broken.

Mr. Darcy's courting scheme was not going at all well, in his view. There were too many family members and seem-to-be well wishers. He realized more than a few of these came their way from Miss Bingley's information. This the gentleman saw firsthand one evening as Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner, Elizabeth, Jane, Georgiana and himself attended the theatre and the couple received many congratulations.

Mr. Darcy had enjoyed some little satisfaction that same afternoon when he had finally been able to spend a few minutes alone with Elizabeth in his home. Jane and Miss Darcy had gone briefly with Mrs. Annesley to finish shopping for a few last-minutes touches to their gowns for that evening. Elizabeth had no wish to accompany them, she had done enough shopping for three people in the past weeks in London.

She and Mr. Darcy spoke of possible additions or renovations to the townhouse and ended their tour in his study, where he asked her to be seated in a soft leather chair. Mr. Darcy opened one of the drawers of the large cherrywood desk and took out a small black velvet box, followed by a larger square, flat, blue velvet box.

"Miss Bennet informs me you are to wear a lovely cream coloured satin gown to the theatre this evening, Elizabeth." he explained, "I thought some extra adornments might add to it, though certainly no one having the pleasure of looking into your beautiful eyes will need to go farther to find perfection." He handed her the blue box first. Elizabeth, still blushing and smiling at the pleasure of his compliments opened it to see a magnificent diamond and ruby necklace and matching earrings. She gasped with pleasure and held the necklace around her throat, waiting for Darcy to attach it for her. She then began to try the earrings, taking off her own and walking to the large mirror near the study door to see her new treasures.

"Most of my mother's jewelry is now Georgiana's, but my father left a few of her things to me. When he told me I should give them to my wife one day, I could scarcely picture ever being able to do so." He stood behind her as she admired her gifts. They looked at one another's reflections in the mirror.

"They are very precious to you then, William." Elizabeth almost whispered. She had never imagined owning such beautiful things and she felt guilty taking them when she was not reconciled with her conscience concerning the reasons she was marrying. "I shall try to make you proud you've chosen me as that wife then." She turned away from the mirror and gently stroked his cheek with her finger, then kissed it lightly. "Thank you. I shall feel like a queen tonight." Darcy followed her example and traced her jawbone with his own finger and then, ever so softly, kissed her lips. When she responded in kind, he took her face gently in both his hands and kissed her again, this time more fully and urgently, but he could feel she was uncomfortable with this level of intimacy and decided it was time to show her the other gift.

She opened the little black box to see an equally exquisite diamond and ruby ring. "Tonight, Darcy explained as he slid it onto her finger, "everyone will know that you are my fiancée and when they see how beautiful you are, men and women alike will be green with envy." Elizabeth laughed.

"All the young ladies of London plunged into mourning at the loss of Fitzwilliam Darcy. And to think I've done all that, just by accepting you." They laughed together, both truly satisfied with their time alone together, both looking forward to that evening, Elizabeth with a little trepidation about the impending public display and a knot of undefined, swirling emotions concerning her changing feelings for her fiancé. She searched her soul for the regret and remorse of the past, but could find none of it.

Chapter 10

Posted on Monday, September 15, 2003

Their outing to the theatre was just the public venue, Miss Bingley thought, to put Elizabeth Bennet on display. Then she would realize what a misfit she was in London society, Mr. Darcy would be publicly humiliated and she, his faithful Caroline would come to his rescue.

Try as she would though, Miss Bingley failed at exposing Miss Bennet, who had begun, Caroline critically observed, to take advantage of her future position by improving her wardrobe. Of course Eliza Bennet would never have the flair that she possessed, but the country bumpkin seemed to win Mr. Darcy's friends over quite easily. Well, Caroline consoled herself, people would pretend to admire Fitzwilliam Darcy's fiancée in public. Caroline would just have to circulate tomorrow in the usual haunts of those who craved seeing and being seen. She'd spread the word of Elizabeth Bennet's lowly origins if the general opinion of the future Mrs. Darcy was too high. Unfortunately, Miss Bingley didn't have time to put that plan into action.

At the beginning of June, Jane and Elizabeth traveled with the Darcys for their first visit to Pemberley. Mr. Darcy had also invited Mr. Bingley, to the pleasant surprise of both Bennet sisters. Not surprisingly, Mr. Bingley's sister took the opportunity of inviting herself along with him, to try and foil both Mr. Darcy's marriage and her brother's further interest in Jane Bennet.

If Elizabeth had blamed Mr. Darcy for feeling the importance of not marrying beneath his station, she did no longer when she saw Pemberley. Though it was true she had not traveled extensively, Elizabeth knew she had never seen a place she admired as much. Though Pemberley's grounds were extensive, they were natural and tasteful. Regal and elegant Pemberley House accented its surroundings and Elizabeth's first wish was to explore the park.

Mr. Darcy, knowing his fiancée's predisposition for long walks, soon invited her, Jane and Mr. Bingley to join him in just such an activity. Elizabeth felt Darcy no longer had any objections to his friend spending time with her elder sister, in fact, though no one concerned had said a word about it, Elizabeth was almost certain Jane and Bingley would soon be engaged. It was ironic, Elizabeth thought, that if that engagement came about, Jane could have been the one to improve the Bennet's financial situation-and do it by marrying a man she loved.

Yet over the past weeks since their engagement, Elizabeth reflected, as the foursome continued to walk and Mr. Darcy pointed out the beauties around them, she truly enjoyed his company. Fitzwilliam Darcy was a thoughtful, loving brother to Georgiana and, she had seen in London, a respectful, considerate employer. She expected him to treat his Pemberley staff in the same manner.

Of course there was no question he had been kind and generous to her. No, she did not regret accepting his proposal. Her life was very pleasant indeed. Mr. Darcy had seen her every want supplied.

Suddenly the two couples were joined by Miss Bingley, a black cloud personified. Panting and perspiring from her exertions to find them, Caroline assured them she'd believed they'd mentioned their plan to walk and that she was welcome to join them, but then her maid had detained her with questions about unpacking. Now she was "eager to join them", she said. Eager to break them apart, thought Elizabeth.

This was not the only occasion upon which Caroline Bingley intruded. Mr. Darcy and her own brother remarked, much to the amusement of Elizabeth, that they had never seen her so content to be outdoors. One afternoon Mr. Darcy was showing Elizabeth the new maze which had been added to the grounds only the summer before. Just as the two of them discovered the center, with its beautiful fountain and rose garden and Mr. Darcy hoped he could steal another kiss from his lady, Caroline, the Minotaur, bellowed for help. She had followed them in no doubt, though she said she had come not knowing Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth were ahead of her. She had become disoriented and at that point "took a chance that someone else might be about" and began to yell in quite an apparent panic.

Mr. Darcy, gentleman that he was, even realizing what she was about, went to her aide and he and Elizabeth accompanied her to safety, smiling and shaking their heads behind Caroline's back as she thanked Mr. Darcy profusely, feeling she'd triumphed over their time together once more.

The idea of being mistress of Pemberley was nearly overwhelming to Elizabeth. In this, she had to admit, Miss Bingley could easily best her, after all, Caroline had kept house for her brother for some years now. Granted, Mr. Bingley's properties were not as extensive as Pemberley, but Caroline knew what she was doing and Elizabeth hated to say, she did a fine job of it.

For that reason, Elizabeth approached her fiancé one morning. "William, I believe Pemberley will be more than a match for me as mistress." Darcy laughed aloud. They were riding out together with Bingley and Jane, who were far ahead of them and, of course, Miss Bingley, who was never far away, but on this occasion, farther than she'd like behind them.

"I hoped you could relax and get to know the place before you began worrying about your duties here, Lizzie." Elizabeth sighed as she looked around them.

"It is such a beautiful place and everything runs so smoothly. Shall I have anything to do here, do you think, or has Mrs. Reynolds got everything down to a science? I hope I won't be stepping on toes when I begin whatever I need to be doing after we are married."

"Mrs. Reynolds does excellent work, indeed I hardly notice anything going on in the way of housekeeping because she runs such a tight ship behind the scenes. I believe you may want to ask Mrs. Reynolds what she sees your role to be. She is very kind and is likely to advise you in any way necessary. I am not much help there, but as far as the parish goes, our tenants and such; I believe there is a great need for a strong, cheerful, open-minded woman such as yourself. I believe you will create your own roles there, but I will introduce you to the families, beginning this afternoon, if you like. Then you may begin to formulate your own ideas as you see the existing conditions."

Elizabeth was heartened by his confidence in her. "Do you recall what your mother did as Mistress of Pemberley?" Darcy shook his head. "She died shortly after Georgiana was born. I was not yet eleven years old, so I do not remember much on my own. Occasionally the staff or parishioners mention what she did as mistress, but nothing, I'm afraid, very helpful to you."

There was a little silence between them before Elizabeth continued. "I believe I am more anxious now than before we began our discussion, William." Darcy felt badly that there was so little he could do. "You've only just arrived, my love, I'm sure I will think of many more ways you can help around the estate." Then an idea occurred to him. "My Aunt Matlock is a very pleasant woman who has had charge of an estate equal to Pemberley for years she might be of help, unless of course you'd rather consult Lady Catherine?"

Now it was Elizabeth's turn to laugh. "I'm not sure she has accepted our engagement yet, even if I did feel comfortable enough to ask her help. But if Colonel Fitzwilliam's mother is as affable and fair-minded as her son, I would like very much to consult her."

And so the next few weeks saw Elizabeth in conference with Mrs. Reynolds, the Countess of Matlock and even Caroline Bingley on how best to become Mistress of Pemberley. She visited the parish with and without Mr. Darcy and seemed not to be stepping on any toes, except perhaps Miss Bingley's, as that young lady had wished for the position of mistress herself.

Elizabeth worried if she was over stepping any bounds when it came to Georgiana Darcy's role at Pemberley. Miss Darcy was so shy and wished to be so much the good sister to Elizabeth that the latter could not read whether she was interfering with something Georgiana had already begun.

Elizabeth felt the only way to find out was to ask her future sister-in-law straight out. Georgiana confessed she was so seldom at Pemberley that she really had not established a role for herself there. "But I am flattered you thought me capable of such a grown-up responsibility."

"Perhaps" Elizabeth offered, "we could find out just what we need to be doing here together. I shall certainly need your help." Georgiana blushed and smiled, "I shall help in any way I can, Miss B- Elizabeth, " she corrected. Indeed, as the wedding date approached, Georgiana and Elizabeth gained much of the closeness of sisters and confidants. Georgiana confessed she was glad to have a good natured, unaffected sister who could help her in society when it came time for her to come out in it.

Elizabeth responded that she didn't know very much about such society as Miss Darcy referred to, but that she was very glad Georgiana was comfortable in her company. Elizabeth suspected Miss Darcy alluded to Miss Bingley when she thought of being uncomfortable with a potential sister.

"I heard, Georgiana, from an acquaintance in Hertfordshire, that certain parties hoped you would marry Mr. Bingley." Elizabeth teased lightly so Miss Darcy would not be embarrassed.

"Mr. Bingley!" Georgiana never sounded so surprised, "He has only ever been my brother's particular friend." Miss Darcy instantly felt she had reacted too strongly. "I..I mean, I do like him very much, but..." Suddenly it occurred to her who must have planted this idea in Hertfordshire and Miss Darcy looked almost angry for the first time in Elizabeth's recollection.

"I'm sure it was Miss Bingley who mentioned that, but" and here Miss Darcy hesitated, but her anger made her continue," I believe she started this rumour hoping it was she who would marry William and that if I were to be united with her brother, somehow her goal would be more easily realized." Elizabeth perceived Georgiana had not been fooled by Caroline Bingley and was glad of it. Miss Darcy, however, was not quite finished with her confession.

"I am most glad to have you as my sister, Elizabeth, because I fear I might make an error in judgment when I am out in society and I shall like to rely on your opinions to help me avoid that." Georgiana spoke in very general terms, yet Elizabeth could tell she had something very specific in mind.

"Errors in judgment of persons, Georgiana?" she prodded gently. "Yes," the young woman confessed. "I fear there may be fortune hunters who will try to deceive me with false affection." Elizabeth had to admit such a situation was very possible.

"I don't know, Georgiana, that I am a superior judge of character. Did you know when I first met your brother I thought him arrogant and self-absorbed?" Elizabeth said this making it sound impossible now and Georgiana had to laugh. "And one of the reasons for my opinion was that I believed him to have treated George Wickham in an infamous manner after your father died."

"Good heavens!" cried Georgiana, surprised to hear Elizabeth knew the man. "How did you come to have that opinion of William's treatment?"

"I am ashamed to admit it was because I believed Mr. Wickham's version of the story implicitly. So you see, Georgiana, I am no superior judge of character." Elizabeth noticed Georgiana's previously light mood had turned.

"What is it Georgiana? Have I upset you by mentioning Mr. Wickham?"

"That man is precisely the one who has caused me to be so hesitant to go into society."

"Because of his unfair treatment of your brother? Because of his malicious stories against William?" Elizabeth put her arm gently around Georgiana's shoulders and noticed the girl had tears in her eyes.

"I believed a more damaging story than the one Mr. Wickham told you about William." She shook her head and closed her eyes as if she wanted to forget that story. " I believed that he loved me enough to wish to marry me. I agreed to elope with him." Elizabeth came around to face Georgiana, staring at her incredulously.

"When was this? And how was it prevented?" Georgiana now hung her head, but she continued her tale softly.

"It was about a year ago. Mr. Wickham came to Ramsgate to find me with my former companion, Mrs. Younge. How he knew we were there I don't know even now, but, thank heavens William decided to visit us and discovered Mr. Wickham's plan, knowing it at once for what it really was-a plot to get my fortune." Elizabeth had to sit down and ponder what she'd just heard.

"But how despicable, Georgiana! How did you feel about what Wickham had done, or rather, tried to do?"

"I felt like an utter simpleton. Mr. Wickham had no real regard for me. Only for my money. Can you imagine what my life would be like now had we actually married?"

"So William sent him packing. I suppose that's how he came to join the militia in Hertfordshire and why he spread such rumours about your brother-for revenge."

"Yes, I imagine so. I never wanted to know where he ended up-what he was doing. I only wanted him gone from my life. I was so foolish..."

"Georgiana," Elizabeth looked her square in the eyes, "you are not to be blamed. Mr. Wickham is obviously vile and cunning. William knew his character, but you could not have, young and unsuspecting as you were." She dried the girl's tears and tried to cheer Georgiana in her teasing way. "Can you imagine Miss Bingley's reaction, Georgiana, if you had married the son of your father's steward?"

Georgiana was taken aback by her future sister's approach to cheering her, but she joined in after a few seconds with "She certainly would not have considered me good enough to marry Charles and her esteem for me, if it is based on anything different than Wickham's, would have plummeted to the ground." Elizabeth put her forehead to Georgiana's in an affectionate gesture.

"I believe you have learned much about the world in the past year, dearest and though it is a good lesson, it was a sad way to be taught." Georgiana knew she could trust Elizabeth now more than any person save her brother and she treasured that knowledge.

Chapter Eleven

Posted on Saturday, 20 September 2003

In the weeks before Elizabeth and Darcy's wedding, the woods and groves around Pemberley revealed their splendor and the entire visiting party decided to make a picnic to a particularly luxuriant meadow at the edge of a wood. Mrs. Reynolds and the Pemberley staff arranged a luncheon under a large open canopy in the meadow to be ready as Mr. Darcy and his guests arrived. The party enjoyed their repast lounging on large soft rugs, propping themselves up with overstuffed cushions.

After the meal, several couples decided to walk a little, exploring their verdant backdrop. Great walkers as they were, (for Mr. Darcy had adopted Elizabeth's healthful habit) Darcy and Elizabeth led the way, the former well-acquainted with the place.

Miss Bingley and Miss Darcy set out next on the arm of Colonel Fitzwilliam, Jane and Bingley walking leisurely behind them. Darcy hoped in the course of the ramble to take a solitary path with his fiancée and, thanks to the quickness of their step, they soon outdistanced the others.

After many weeks of engagement to Mr. Darcy had passed, Elizabeth surprised herself by becoming quite at ease with her new life. Still, she hadn't allowed herself an admission of her feelings toward Fitzwilliam Darcy. She knew that whatever initial misunderstandings she'd had about him were now forgotten, but being in love with Mr. Darcy? No, she did not think she could say that much, though she looked forward to every new day with him, to his smiles, to his touch and to the moment he would kiss her once again. And, thought Elizabeth's walking companion, if there were no other people around them for once, that is what he would find an opportunity to do. As more guests arrived at Pemberley for their wedding in the next few weeks, time alone with her would be at a premium.

Darcy led Elizabeth into a grove of oak trees, some of which were young and not so tall as their massive neighbors.

"This is one of the places Colonel Fitzwilliam, George Wickham and I came as boys to play." He surprised Elizabeth by removing his jacket. "You see," he explained, having faith that the Elizabeth he'd seen playing fetch with one of Bingley's dogs outside his bathroom window at Netherfield would appreciate his boyish enthusiasm, "You take hold of a branch just higher than your head, one with a lot of spring to it, bend it down, and..." as he explained what he was doing, the branch he held on to lifted him two or three feet off the ground, until his weight brought it down again and he pushed himself back up into the air. "let it lift you off the ground, rather like a human springboard." Elizabeth laughed.

Pull a branch down for me, can you, please? I want to try too."

Here was Mr. Darcy's chance. Not only could he help Elizabeth grip the branch, but he must help her maintain it so she would't fall. To do this, at certain points in the trajectory of her spring into the air, he put his hands on her shoulders or her waist. Finally, after several minutes of jumping and giggling until eyes filed with tears, Elizabeth signaled she'd had enough. Mr. Darcy lowered her slowly to the ground by wrapping his arms gently around her waist and lowering her to the ground so she could let go of the spring-like oak branch.

When she lowered her arms after letting go, Mr. Darcy did not want to let go of her waist, but his grip was not so firm that she couldn't turn in his arms and Elizabeth smiled up at him.

"That was wonderful! Just what I needed, William. Something apart from..." Elizabeth didn't wish to complain about the anxiety of wedding plans, parish visits and general concerns about her impending duties as mistress of Pemberley.

Perhaps it was their proximity at the moment, or perhaps Mr. Darcy had seen, amidst Elizabeth's enthusiasm for the plans of her new life, this wasn't an easy time for her and realized Elizabeth was leaving her previous life, family and friends behind, while he would be adding a wife whom he adored, but Mr. Darcy was suddenly imbued with sympathy for his fiancée and a little of her mischievous urge to tease.

"When shall you wed? What will you wear? Will you be like the former Mrs. Darcy? Are you not young to be mistress of Pemberley?" Mr. Darcy, smiling, mimicked, very effectively, some of the comments they'd both heard lately.

"Precisely!" giggled Elizabeth, amazed that he understood so well. The two of them laughed and laughed. When, ultimately they stopped, eyes still twinkling, hearts feeling lighter and more at one, they were drawn to one another as never before. More than anything they wanted to hold each other. Darcy took Elizabeth's face in one of his large hands and lowered his own to kiss her, when, from the midst of the trees, they heard Miss Bingley's piercing voice.

"I am sure they came this way, Georgiana. They may be lost, we must find them and redirect them."

Mr. Darcy groaned and the two of them, choking back laughter, put their heads together and Elizabeth whispered," Do you know of a hiding place, William?" He answered by snatching her hand and leading her out of the clearing they'd been in and into a more heavily wooded area nearby. The voices of Miss Bingley and Miss Darcy got closer.

"Caroline, I assure you my brother knows every inch of the estate. He will not become lost."

"Shall we rescue your poor sister, William?" Elizabeth asked.

Mr. Darcy was standing behind her and in answer put his arms around her waist gently and lowered his head to whisper into her ear, "No indeed, Miss Bennet, for I believe in these past few weeks she has shown herself to be very resourceful in our behalf as regards Miss Bingley." Elizabeth smiled and leaned back into William's welcoming arms.

"I believe you are correct." He slowly, kissed her cheek and, lingeringly, the hollow behind her earlobe as the two of them watched Georgiana expertly guide Miss Bingley reluctantly back toward Pemberley house.

Georgiana had shown her loyalty and love to William and Elizabeth many times over by trying, not always so successfully as today, to keep Miss Bingley from attempting to drive the couple apart.

Elizabeth smiled to herself as the two strolled arm in arm to return to their company, a comfortable silence between them. She glanced sideways at William, who smiled down at her, squeezing her arm. Being beside him like this felt so wonderful, so natural, just like her realization that she was in love with him.

William and Elizabeth were the last of the walkers to return to Pemberley. Charles and Jane had returned quite some time before, long enough for Jane to receive from Mrs. Reynolds an urgent letter from Mrs. Gardiner. Seeing it had arrived express, Jane sat down at once and read it, though the letter was addressed to both herself and Elizabeth.

By the time Elizabeth arrived, Jane could paraphrase the contents of the letter for her sister and Mr. Darcy, just as she had for Charles.

Lydia, it seemed, had eloped with Mr. Wickham. Their assumed destination was Scotland, but Mr. Bennet had been unsuccessful at finding them there. Neither could he discover record of their marriage.

Mr. Gardiner dispatched himself to Brighton so as to question the men in Wickham's regiment and Colonel Foster. There he learned Mr. Wickham had bragged to several of his fellow officers that he would blackmail Fitzwilliam Darcy by using his sister-in-law as the bait and if Darcy would not pay up, he would "expose Miss Darcy for what she is."

No one save Elizabeth and William understood this last threat of Wickham's, it sounded as irrational as the rest, so Jane and Bingley did not attempt to decipher Wickham's meaning.

Mr. Bennet and Mr. Gardiner, both in town now, continued the search for Lydia there, for that was the place to which they could last be traced and where they could best be hidden.

Elizabeth was mortified. Mr. Darcy had been entirely correct in assessment of her family. Her parents had been foolish enough to allow Lydia to go to Brighton and she had been sufficiently gullible to fall into Wickham's trap.

Darcy determined to leave for town early the next morning. He had some ideas of his own on the whereabouts of Lydia and Wickham and what he'd do when he found them. Elizabeth and Jane were to return with Charles to Hertfordshire to be with Mrs. Bennet.

Georgiana, poor thing, was apologetic to Elizabeth for having opened the gate to Wickham's treachery the previous summer. She wrung her hands and swore she would never allow a man to trick her again because she'd never let one near enough to do so. Georgiana cried and hugged Elizabeth, who sat with her until she could cry no more. It was only then Elizabeth assured her, "Georgiana, there will come a time when all this will be forgotten somehow and you will leave yourself no choice but to love someone like I love William."

Georgiana was heartened and bade the Bennet sisters, Mr. Bingley and her brother farewell the next morning with somewhat of a smile.

Elizabeth, on the other hand, wistfully kissing her fiancé good-bye, knew that though she loved him, she could not now marry Mr. Darcy.

Chapter 12

Posted on Saturday, 20 September 2003

A month later Darcy returned to his fiancée at Longbourn. Though he was not acquainted with Mr. Gardiner when he left for London, the two came to know and esteem each other well as the younger man guided the elder to his niece and effected the marriage between herself and Wickham a few days later.

Mr. Gardiner was most impressed with his niece's fiancé and attributed his generosity to her sister quite rightly to Darcy's love for Elizabeth. Mrs. Gardiner wrote to her niece of Mr. Darcy's valiance in saving Lydia's reputation. She was very complimentary on Elizabeth's choice of husband.

There was no doubt of Elizabeth's depth of gratitude for all Darcy had done for her family and Lydia in particular, yet she knew neither he nor Miss Darcy could be associated for life, no matter how seldom the Darcys encountered the man, to George Wickham. Wickham had clearly stated he was using Elizabeth's relationship to Darcy to get money from him. For that reason Wickham had chosen Lydia for his newest victim and his success was now complete-Darcy would be his brother-in-law. If Elizabeth broke her engagement to Mr. Darcy, that would not be the case and Wickham would have no basis to continue his extortion.

There was but one way to go about breaking off her engagement. The very day of Darcy's return, Elizabeth admitted to him her reasons for accepting his proposal. She told him that since Jane and Bingley had become engaged shortly before they all left Pemberley, the money concerns she had for her family had been taken care of and she was free to break with him.

Just in case Mr. Darcy raised any objections to her decision, which he did not, being too shocked to form any rational thought whatsoever, Elizabeth finished her rejection with the avowal that she had never been in love with him at any time.

Seeing the devastation in his countenance, Elizabeth could not leave the man she now most truly adored without thanking him for all he had done for Lydia and apologizing so tearfully for her rejection, especially in view of his many kindnesses that Darcy revived for a moment and found himself wondering if the reasons for her rejection had all been genuine. Before he could get his bearings enough to question her about its actual justification, Elizabeth hurriedly took her leave.

The next morning Mr. Darcy returned to Pemberley. Elizabeth worried he might warn Bingley not to marry, that Jane was probably a fortune hunter just like her sister. There was no indication he had, however, for Elizabeth was the one to break the news to all her family, including Bingley. All of them were unpleasantly surprised, but none as stupefied as Mrs. Bennet, who could not speak and was taken to her room by her husband, mumbling under her breath about special licenses and pin money.

Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner replied sympathetically, though they were shocked at the news, which was sent express with a request that she be able to come to them in town for a while until her mother calmed down. Elizabeth did not wish to distract from the joy of her sister's engagement any more than she already had.

Her brother's sudden return surprised Georgiana and she was left to speculate why he had come without Elizabeth. The London papers came late to Pemberley by several days, but Georgiana had read of George Wickham's marriage to Lydia Bennet. She suspected, because of the timing of William's departure and the date of the Wickham's marriage, that her brother had caught him at his old tricks again. But this time, since Lydia had no fortune, Wickham must have compromised her in some way, so William compelled him to act honorably by marrying her and that compulsion must have been plenty of money.

Still, this hasty marriage could not be the impetus that plunged William into such black despondency. Georgiana knew it had something unhappy to do with Elizabeth.

Days turned to weeks with Darcy alone in his library or walking and riding by himself. If he spoke to her at all it was to excuse himself from discussing whatever it was that bothered him. The only way she could get him to talk, she thought, would be to speak candidly of her suspicions concerning his mood.

Once again Georgiana found her brother entrenched in his library one evening, his usual companion of late, an over-filled brandy snifter at his side. She didn't apologize or ask permission to be in the same room, Georgiana gathered all her strength and launched into the topic at hand.

"I'm certain your mood these past weeks has something to do with George Wickham."

Darcy's head snapped to attention. He said nothing, but Georgiana knew he was listening.

"A few weeks before your return to Pemberley I read the notice of his marriage to Elizabeth Bennet's sister, Lydia. You have been silent and sullen since you returned from Hertfordshire and I can think of no better reason for your gravity than something awful having to do with Elizabeth. If I put the two things together; Wickham's sudden marriage and the worst thing that could happen between you and Elizabeth, I come up with the fact that she has broken your engagement because she knows how strongly you hate her new brother and how mortified you would be to be forever linked by marriage to him. Though it would be highly improbable that I would encounter Wickham due to his relationship with Elizabeth and yourself, I believe Lizzy, knowing how embarrassed I am still over my foolish actions last summer and loving us both so much, would be selfless enough to break off with you because of her permanent connection to a man we both despise."

"Elizabeth knows what happened at Ramsgate?" Darcy finally spoke, his eyes a little red, his speech a bit slurred.

"Yes," Georgiana admitted, "she's the only person other than yourself and Mrs. Younge. When I told her she cried with me, she held me and told me that I would be able to trust a man again someday and that I'd find someone I could love as much as she loves you."

The image of Elizabeth's tender concern for his sister brought tears to Darcy's eyes. He should have been more compassionate towards Georgiana himself. And then his mind returned to the last words his sister had uttered: "....someone I could love as much as she loves you."

"She said she loves me?" Darcy wiped his hand over his rough-whiskered chin, his eyes lightening.

"Of course she did, William. Did you doubt it while she was here at Pemberley with us?"

Darcy thought back over the happy times they'd had together. "I thought she did....I hoped she did.",he groaned.

"Then she has broken your engagement?"

"Yes," he nodded, almost whispering, "but she said nothing of Wickham or our feelings for him. She only-she said she accepted me because I am wealthy and her family could benefit, but now that Bingley and Miss Bennet are engaged, his wealth would suffice." Georgiana blinked in disbelief at what her brother had said.

"William," she knelt beside him, taking his hand, "that sounds nothing like Elizabeth."

"I assure you," Darcy replied withdrawing his hand and standing, "that is exactly what she said."

"Then she said it to make you angry and bitter, just as you have been and to divert your logic from her true reasons." This last was stated most emphatically and Georgiana continued, her brother shaking his head in disbelief.

"Elizabeth assured me she loves you, William. You must not allow her refusal. Make her see that we can work around Wickham's kinship. When we attend Mr. Bingley's wedding to Jane, you must persuade her not to take that position in Scotland! You can prevent her from going.

Darcy spun around, wishing he understood what Georgiana spoke of. "Position in Scotland?"

"Yes, Caroline Bingley writes, like the cat that ate the canary, saying how sorry she is that the two of you have broken off your engagement. I hoped it wasn't true, that's why I had to confront you just now. Elizabeth has accepted a position as governess to a family in Scotland and Caroline says she means to leave directly after Jane's wedding." Silent thoughtfulness took over the room, until Georgiana realized...

"William, why would Elizabeth take a position as governess if she was truly mercenary? It seems to me she wants to remove herself from society, not promote herself within it."

Darcy had no explanation at that moment or a few weeks later when he and Georgiana left for Netherfield. Georgiana assured her brother that once he had seen Elizabeth, if he wanted to reconcile with her, she would do anything in her power to help him.

Chapter Thirteen

Posted on Monday, 29 September 2003

Though Darcy knew his friend would be preoccupied with pre-marital details, his objective was to ascertain from Bingley, if he could, the Bennet financial situation.

The Darcys had a plan of attack. While they were in Hertfordshire they intended to find out if Elizabeth's reasons for breaking off with William were genuine. Georgiana's plan was to befriend Kitty Bennet. Elizabeth, while she was at Pemberley, expressed her hope that Georgiana and Kitty would like one another and from Elizabeth's description of her sister, Georgiana believed Kitty's friendship could enable her to find out about the Bennet's financial situation and how Elizabeth had fared since breaking her engagement.

Bingley was of no help to Darcy, who tried many times to hint at the facts of the Bennet family finances and when no hint was understood, Darcy asked Bingley about them point blank, divulging Elizabeth's reasons, or at least the ones she'd professed, for breaking their engagement.

Bingley was shocked and confessed he'd never guessed the Bennets to have those kind of problems. Darcy concluded that either Bingley was so besotted with Jane that no realities penetrated his consciousness or, the explanation he preferred, that Elizabeth's excuse had been bogus and Georgiana's assertions were correct.

Kitty, on the other hand, was a gold mine of information for her new friend Georgiana. As Elizabeth had hoped, the two girls got on very easily together and Elizabeth, though she kept a very low profile in the days before the wedding, was almost glad to see their friendship grow. She knew it couldn't come to much, for the two would rarely, if ever, meet again under the circumstances, but the girls didn't seem to mind.

That the Bennets had very little working capital and even less than usual because of the expenditures for Jane's wedding, was an open topic between Kitty and Georgiana. The younger girl had very delicately opened the door on the subject, but found it thrown wide by Kitty, who explained further that once Jane was married, perhaps Mr. Bingley could help the family financially, but, if not, at least only she and Mary would remain at home and this would save their father some money.

Just as diplomatically, Georgiana posed the question of Kitty's evaluation of her elder sister's broken engagement, but upon this point Elizabeth's sister was not so well informed. She knew no reason why Mr. Darcy and her sister were no longer engaged, Elizabeth had only said it was "for the best". Kitty did say that Elizabeth was "boring and unpleasant" to live with, "not at all like she used to be" and that she would be glad to have her go off to Scotland soon so her mother wouldn't "be so cross with Lizzie all the time."

Hearing Georgiana's facts put Darcy back to being uncertain about Elizabeth's true reasons for breaking off with him. Mrs. Bennet's feelings about rich husbands he knew very well, but he still did not know whether to believe her daughter held the same philosophy or not.

As there would be many occasions in the days before Jane and Bingley's wedding to be in company with Elizabeth, Darcy vowed to analyze her behavior in his presence, moreover, he meant to place himself almost as near to her during these assemblies as they had been when they were engaged, to make her feel he did not resent the past. If Elizabeth's reason for breaking with him was true, she should not be nearly so uneasy in his company as she would were she really in love with him. But then he considered the public's reaction to the two of them being together in one place after breaking off. Perhaps Elizabeth might attempt avoiding him, even at an occasion honoring her sister and Mr. Bingley, so as to keep the inevitable gossip at a minimum. He could not risk missing her company. If there was even a slight chance of her avoidance in public, he must seek her out in private. Whether in public or in private, meeting with the woman he adored would at once be miserable and wonderful, but if he put forth no effort, difficult as that might be emotionally, he would never know the truth.

Yes, he thought, that was a better plan. He could look for chances to talk with her as she walked out, which he assumed she still did. Georgiana could ask Kitty where her sister walked under the guise of meeting Elizabeth herself. When he had the opportunity to speak to her, he would make her feel that he did not resent the past.

According to Kitty, Elizabeth's accustomed post-breakfast circuit was to walk along the ridge above Longbourn farm, which was in the opposite direction from Netherfield. Darcy had a servant ride with him until they were close to where Darcy should see Elizabeth walking and then take his horse back to Netherfield, leaving Darcy afoot to "accidentally" encounter her.

The "accident took a while to happen, as Darcy did not know where along the path Elizabeth might be, but encounter her he did, at last.

"Miss Bennet!" cried Darcy, trying to sound casually surprised. He bowed to her slightly and Elizabeth curtsied.

"Good morning, Mr. Darcy." She responded, the one truly surprised, but embarrassed, at the meeting.

Darcy winced inside at Elizabeth's use of his surname once again, but outwardly seemed unaffected." I see you have not given up your habit of walking in the morning."

"No." she answered simply, not understanding why he was so cheerful and talkative with the person who had rejected him. Perhaps he felt relieved by his freedom. Maybe he had already found someone else.

"Georgiana has missed you, Elizabeth. She is most content to be able to spend time with you once more." Darcy spoke as if nothing objectionable had ever happened between them.

Elizabeth could not answer him, she had missed Georgiana as well. She regretted so much the collateral pain she had caused his sister.

Darcy decided not to let on that he knew she was having difficulty. Her reaction was just what he had hoped for. He chattered on and on, hearing only monosyllabic responses, until they came to Longbourn house.

"We shall, of course, be seeing you tonight at the family dinner Netherfield?"

"Yes." Elizabeth affirmed, bewildered and emotionally drained by their one-sided conversation. What was the meaning of it?

"I very much look forward to seeing you there and tomorrow at the wedding. You're standing up with your sister, are you not?"

"Yes." another simple response and a nod.

"As am I with Bingley." Darcy charged on sounding as cheerful as ever. Suddenly he took her hand, kissed it gently and looking directly into her eyes and smiling, bowed again briefly.

"Until this evening then. I shall give Georgiana your regards."

Elizabeth barely collecting herself opened her mouth to reply, but found it unnecessary as Darcy's long strides had taken him quickly away, wondering how his actions had been received.

Chapter Fourteen

That evening found Netherfield in all its glory waiting to entertain the friends and family of Charles Bingley and Jane Bennet. Mrs. Bennet crowed and clucked all evening long saying she "knew how it would be all along with Jane and Mr. Bingley, though, she said, glaring at Elizabeth, she "had thought another of my girls would be equally well settled." and went on to explain to all who cared to listen and some who did not, but couldn't help overhearing, that she did not understand "why Lizzie broke her engagement."

Mr. Darcy was mortified to hear Elizabeth's mother chastise her daughter publicly in this way. Just as Mr. Bennet finally succeeded in calling her off and the group sat down to dinner, Miss Bingley started in.

"Georgiana," she sighed sympathetically, "it is a shame that your brother and Miss Elizabeth will not be married. Have you been able to cope with the shock?" Georgiana wanted to stop Caroline in her tracks.

"Yes, Caroline, it is a great pity and neither I nor the two other people concerned have quite come to terms with it. It is good of you to arrest any mention of the situation in their presence."

But Caroline persisted, choosing a different course. This time her remarks were directed to Elizabeth herself.

"I believe, Miss Eliza, you quit Longbourn day after tomorrow for Scotland."

"Yes, Miss Bingley, that is so." Elizabeth replied between clenched teeth.

"Now that you are no longer engaged to Mr. Darcy, you are free to travel about the country. How shall you like it, do you think, in Scotland?" Miss Bingley pretended not to notice Elizabeth's annoyance.

"Very well, I am sure, Miss Bingley." Elizabeth was spared more conversation than this, for the moment, as their dinner was served.

The very moment she could politely get away, Elizabeth went straight into Netherfield park to walk off her frustration. She knew she could not leave Jane's celebration, but she felt sure Jane, who had overheard Caroline's snide remarks, would not begrudge her taking some air before facing Miss Bingley again.

It was just getting dark and though it was early October, it had been warm enough to walk out in the evening air. Elizabeth sat on the edge of a fountain and ran her hand unconsciously through the water reflecting on all that had happened to her these past six months: her engagement, falling in love with Mr. Darcy, Jane's engagement and her marriage tomorrow to Mr. Bingley, Lydia's elopement and Mr. Darcy's arrangement of her marriage to Wickham, her own broken engagement-here she could think no further for tears had overtaken her and she watched as they spilled off her face and plunked one at a time into the fountain like raindrops. She wiped her face with the back of her hand and looked up at the sudden sound of footsteps in the gravel beside her.

It was Mr. Darcy, who said nothing, but silently handed her his handkerchief. Elizabeth took it from him and continued to dab the tears away, but at the sight of him they came even more rapidly. She stood. The only way she could pull herself together was to get away from Mr. Darcy. Elizabeth stepped forward to take her leave, but he drew her into his arms instead, cradling her head and rocking her there gently.

The proud part of her, embarrassed that she'd accepted his proposal because of his wealth, that he'd saved her sister's reputation at the risk of his own mortification and that now he would still care enough to comfort her, told her to flee. But the weak part of her, the part that knew she'd love him forever, though she'd never see him again after tomorrow, said stay and enjoy his embraces.

Darcy let her have her cry out, still holding her and every so often kissing her hair and whispering little comforts. When at last she finished, Darcy took his handkerchief and dried her eyes himself and then tenderly placed a kiss above each one.

Elizabeth looked up at him smiling faintly. "Why are you so good to me, sir?" Darcy didn't answer with words. He lowered his head and gently pressed his lips to hers. Elizabeth was mesmerized by the feeling of his kisses, one after another. She told herself again to push away and run back into the house, but she could not. Instead she returned the kisses and each in succession became more intense. Elizabeth was no longer rational.

She may not have said she loved him in so many words, but Darcy's heart sang with the admission that Georgiana had been correct-Elizabeth loved him, she yearned for him, just as he did for her. Now he could make her see that they should never part again.

"Elizabeth," Darcy began in a husky whisper, "George Wickham may not be the man I'd choose for a brother-in-law, indeed it would be too soon to ever see him again, but it is little enough price to pay for us to have each other. Nothing, not family foibles or financial woes and no one, neither George Wickham nor the McNaughtons of Scotland must keep us from marrying. We need one another, we love one another."

Elizabeth's eyes had been downcast while she listened. Darcy raised her chin with his finger and looked into them. She smiled, her chin quivering, eyes brimming with more tears. "Nothing and no one." Elizabeth repeated, amazed at how he understood. She threw her arms around his neck and they held each other without a word.

"You still want to marry such a mercenary woman as myself?" she questioned finally.

" I thought Jane had taken over that task." Darcy teased. Elizabeth laughed, self-consciously, in spite of herself.

Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy informed Georgiana and Elizabeth's immediate family of their intention, once again, to marry. Georgiana was pleased to know her theory of Elizabeth's rejection was accurate. Mrs. Bennet cared not to know the reasons why they had made the new decision, she was simply overjoyed. Mr. Bennet, however, did want to know Elizabeth's reasons and he was informed of her reticence for Darcy to be forever linked to Wickham. Mr. Bennet was quite sure that, though Mr. Darcy rightly detested Wickham, his love for Elizabeth was enough to overcome or at least come to terms with those feelings.

Other than the bride and groom, the happiest people at the wedding of Fitzwilliam Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet were Elizabeth's mother, mentally spending her daughter's pin money and Georgiana. William thanked his sister many times for her encouragement and logic when he thought all was lost. Georgiana was satisfied to have helped him win his Elizabeth back and secure her as a wife and sister at last.

George Wickham too was satisfied that his sister-in-law had come to her senses and tied the knot that would make Darcy's continued financial support possible. Wickham, however, was not to be so easily supplied. The professional pieces Darcy had put in place for him in the military required Wickham to tow the line or be put in prison for his past debts.

Elizabeth was good to her younger sister and sent her, from time to time, old clothing and a little extra money, which Lydia learned to use for herself.

Poor Miss Bingley found solace by marrying Colonel Fitzwilliam, who finally had his woman of fortune.

Darcy and Elizabeth discussed how best to help the Bennets financially and decided it was best to aid the two remaining sisters. Kitty and Mary, brought, by the marriages of their two sisters into better company, soon learned to be more sensible.

Mr. and Mrs. Bennet were left then with increased funds for themselves, which they continued spending none too wisely.

No word ever passed Darcy's lips about their broken engagement or about Elizabeth's family nor hers about his aunt Catherine, who was highly displeased at their marriage.

For the Darcys, their life's treasure was found not in any material thing, but in the love and respect they held for each other on their wedding day and in increasing measure for the many happy years to come.

The End