Posted on 2012-06-14
Once upon a forenoon dreary, Mr. Bennet pondered, weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While he nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of someone roughly rapping, rapping at his study door.
'Tis some servant,' he muttered, 'rapping at my study door -
Only this, and nothing more.'
Ah, distinctly he remembered, it was just before September
And as soon as he said 'Enter' Mrs. Bennet took the floor.
Instantly he wished unspoken that hasty word which betokened -
Told his wife, so outspoken, that within he did not snore.
To the rare and quer'lous matron, whom he married years before
Now entrapped evermore
And the constant, hurried rustling of her gown as she was bustling -
Speaking - shrieking of a tenant who might have a chaise and four -
Joined her words, shrill, intreating, 'You must visit!' she stood, repeating,
'A young man from the North - five thousand a year, and likely more.
He's single and rich - five thousand a year, and likely more.
A fine thing for our girls to be sure.'
Presently at the Assembly, the Misses Bennet met Mr. Bingley,
A pleasant, handsome man. With him came a party of four:
His two sisters, selves admiring, the spouse of one (thus uninspiring),
And Mr. Darcy, quickly tiring, tiring of this social chore.
His manners and pride disgusted all - they considered him no more.
Bingley, meanwhile, took the floor.
While Bingley danced with Jane, cheery, Darcy stood there, haughty, leery,
Scowling, stalking, and no provincial dared him to implore.
But the silence soon was broken, Darcy's ire was awoken,
By an invitation spoken, one that Darcy soon foreswore:
'You had much better dance - I never met such pleasant girls before.
An introduction I'll ask for.'
But to his friend's words returning, all his pride within him burning,
Darcy answered, 'I certainly shall not. I detest it, as before.'
He declined to meet Miss Lizzy, called her 'tolerable,' not pretty,
'Not handsome enough to tempt me - return to your partner once more.
I'll not give consequence to one slighted by men before.
You waste your time with me, therefore!'
Over time the acquaintance grew: Jane, an angel, to Bingley's view.
Darcy, charmed privately - of her sister he wished to know more.
An object of some interest was she, her form light, her fine eyes lovely
(That a mortifying discov'ry). His stares she could not account for.
A disagreeable man whose comp'ny no one cared for.
This she thought and nothing more.
Jane, thanks to her mother's designing, fell sick at Netherfield, while dining.
Lizzy came calling - six inches of mud on the stockings she wore.
Though he thought her family horrid, Darcy admired her cheeks now florid.
Her coming roused feelings torrid - her presence Miss Bingley did deplore.
Drawing-room conversation now gave him pleasure unknown heretofore.
He valued her all the more.
The five days of her staying were for Miss Bingley quite dismaying
She was jealous and provoking, Mr. Darcy teazing or
Trying by all her arts invoking to hear him full revoking
That he found fine eyes evoking, sought his disdain to restore.
Yet her hints at low connections he facilely ignored.
How she hated that downpour!
Back at Longbourn, Lizzy's agnate, quoting Lady Catherine his magnate
To her proposed in an absurd and obsequious outpour.
His proposals were rejected, then to Charlotte were directed -
She surprisingly accepted. He and Wickham have I flown o'er -
Insinuating, Darcy's defamer (despite his old mentor) -
Vexatious men, nothing more.
During the ball at Netherfield, Darcy's regard was less concealed.
Lamentably much was exposed that night - Mr. Collins a boor,
The Miss Bennets ummastered, several musical disasters.
All this of Bingley's hope the blaster - for Jane's indifference Darcy swore.
Netherfield empty, Elizabeth angry, and Jane heartsore -
Slighted in Town, furthermore.
Unto Hunsford Lizzy's steps bent, she saw that Charlotte was content.
Also there were Colonel Fitzwilliam; Lady Catherine, stentor;
And Darcy who soon was sinking, despite his judgment and his thinking,
Into thoughts of with Miss Bennet linking - he loved her beauty and candour.
Elizabeth could not see this, wondered what his attention was for.
He felt love, she felt rancor.
'In vain have I struggled. It will not do. Ardently I love you.'
He spoke too of pride, degradation, to this woman he adored.
Elizabeth, while refusing, accused him of Jane and Bingley's undoing,
Of his father's will abusing thereby making Wickham poor.
Darcy thought she wished to be flattered but disguise he abhorred.
Her hand not his forevermore.
Then Darcy gave Lizzy a letter which explained his actions better.
Her family lacked propriety. Jane felt pleasure he was sure,
But not love, as he told Bingley. Wickham was culpable, singly,
For his misfortunes, wasting money. He'd tried to elope, furthermore,
With Darcy's rich, young sister. These truths Eliza could not ignore.
They became a fixed encore.
The regiment soon was leaving, Lydia too - against Lizzy's pleading.
The Gard'ners and Lizzy went to Derbyshire, at Pemberley took a house tour.
Lizzy felt a gentle sensation, fed by the housekeeper's commendation
And by Darcy's application to present his sister increased more.
He was civil and kind. He bade her uncle fish from his stream's shore.
Lizzy wondered what he altered for.
The Darcys and Bingley arrived, called on Lizzy, then derived
Great pleasure from the call's return, though Miss Bingley was vexed to be sure.
Ere further intercourse was achieved, a letter came from Jane, aggrieved -
Lydia had eloped, did flee with Wickham as he left his corps.
Within a fortnight found and married, then to Longbourn as visitors -
Unabashed and impudent as before.
Lydia's lips and Aunt Gard'ner's pen informed Lizzy they owed all to him -
He who soon returned to Hertfordshire with Bingley - Darcy was their savior.
Darcy left briefly, Bingley stayed and to Miss Bennet was soon engaged.
Lady Cath'rine came, tried to persuade, intimidate Lizzy for
A promise not to marry Darcy. She was denied, therefore
She took her arguments to her nephew's door.
Very soon Darcy came again. He and Lizzy were walking when
She thanked him for his kindness to her sister. He confessed it was for
Her. He spoke of his unchanged affections, she of her sentiments changed
And between them it was arranged that they'd be happy evermore.
Thus his aunt's officious interference they now were grateful for
And they parted nevermore.